Sadly no points scored this week, even though we had a couple of big hitting actors and a centenarian bite the bullet. Perhaps it’s time to let fly those evil monkeys… 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Phyllis Furness, 109, Irish centenarian, oldest person in Ireland. 
• Gena Rowlands, 94, American actress (A Woman Under the Influence, Gloria, The Notebook), four-time Emmy winner, complications from Alzheimer’s disease. 
• John Aprea, 83, American actor (The Godfather Part II, Full House, Matt Houston). 
• Peter Marshall, 98, American game show host (Hollywood Squares) and actor (Annie, Ensign Pulver), four-time Emmy winner, kidney failure. 
• Afa Anoaʻi, 81, Samoan-American  professional wrestler (WWF).  
• Alain Delon, 88, French actor (Rocco and His Brothers, The Leopard, Le Samouraï). 

In Other News

Trisha Goddard was praised as she made her debut as a guest presenter on Good Morning Britain. The TV star, 66, joined Richard Madeley to host ITV’s breakfast show, days after she spoke about her terminal breast cancer diagnosis on the programme. Trisha – who fronted her own talk show in the ‘90s and 2000s and now lives in America – was a guest presenter, filling in for Kate Garraway. Trisha opened up about her diagnosis with secondary breast cancer earlier this month. She discovered that the incurable cancer had returned, this time to her hip, when she had a serious fall at her home in Connecticut, in 2022. However, she chose to keep the news of her stage four cancer private from her colleagues and the public. ‘I was grappling with how to deal with it myself. Plus I just wanted to work and be me, with CNN and my colleagues there, they didn’t know that I had no hair, that I had no feeling in my legs from the treatment, because I had chemo every week for four and a half months.’ She previously said, ‘My worry is that people will start seeing me as a frail little thing, and that if it got out, I’d be judged, or people would change the way they are with me, or that I wouldn’t work.’ But she admitted that keeping the ‘difficult secret’ became ‘tough’ as time went on. ‘I can’t lie; I can’t keep making up stories. It gets to a stage, after a year and a half, when keeping a secret becomes more of a burden than anything else,’ she added. ‘It’s not going to go away. And with that knowledge comes grief, and fear. But I must keep enjoying what I have always enjoyed,’ she told the Flying Monkeys. Trisha is determined not to be ‘a poster girl for cancer’. ‘It’s not who I am. It’s not why I’m here,’ she said. ‘Also, I didn’t want to read words like ‘dying’ and ‘terminal’ or ‘battling’. Or ‘inspirational’ because it’s all bollocks.”  

Sir Rod Stewart has been issued a further medical warning after being forced to cancel his concerts due to battling a string of health conditions. Last week we reported that Rod had been struggling with Strep Throat, but now he’s also contracted Covid-19! He was due to perform at Stateline in Nevada, followed by a show at Thunder Valley Casino in Lincoln, California on Saturday night. However, an Instagram post to his 1.4million followers late on Friday confirmed he was once again cancelling. A statement read: “We regret to announce that tonight’s Rod Stewart concert in Stateline, NV and his August 10 show in Lincoln, CA have been postponed, as the singer recovers from a summer strain of Covid-19.” The post also gave details of rescheduled dates for the two cancelled concerts which will now take place on August 18 and 20. Whilst Stewart is keen to return to the stage, the musician has been issued a stern warning over his recovery. Dr Chun Tang, a GP and Medical Director at Pall Mall Medical, claimed Stewart will need “significant rehabilitation” for his voice to return to normal following his illness. He told the Flying Monkeys: “Covid can have several long-lasting effects on the vocal cords, especially for those who experienced severe symptoms. The virus can cause persistent inflammation of the vocal cords, leading to ongoing hoarseness, a reduced vocal range, and a weak or breathy voice.” In some cases, Covid can cause nerve damage that affects the control of vocal cords. Tang added: “This can make it difficult to speak or sing normally and may require significant rehabilitation.”  

John Farnham’s sons Rob and James have spoken about their father’s cancer battle, as the Australian music icon continues to recover from throat cancer following a devastating 2022 diagnosis. The 75-year-old underwent 12-hour surgery after being diagnosed with throat cancer, with doctors removing a tumour from his mouth and reconstructing his jaw. He has since received an “all clear” regarding the cancer. “He’s doing really well,” Rob said. “Every day is another step forward, as it is for everyone with cancer. He’s just gotta keep moving forward and keeping positive, and you know, keep driving forward. That’s what it’s about.” The boys went on to praise their mother, saying she had held the family together for the past two years, and also reflected on comments from global superstar Celine Dion, who paid tribute to Farnham in her own documentary I Am: Celine Dion, calling him one of the greatest singers of all time. “He was pretty impressed — it was pretty cool for him to see it,” James said. “He was quite surprised she spoke about him for so long, and he was the only singer he spoke about in the whole documentary.”

On This Day

• 1612 – The trial of the Pendle witches, one of England’s most famous witch trials, begins at Lancaster Assizes. 
• 1958 – Vladimir Nabokov’s controversial novel Lolita is published in the United States.
• 1977 – Steve Biko is arrested at a police roadblock under Terrorism Act No. 83 of 1967 in King William’s Town, South Africa. He later dies from injuries sustained during this arrest, bringing attention to South Africa’s apartheid policies.

Deaths

• 1998 – Persis Khambatta, Indian model and actress, Femina Miss India 1965 (b. 1948).
• 2004 – Elmer Bernstein, American composer and conductor (b. 1922).
• 2017 – Bruce Forsyth, English television presenter and entertainer (b. 1928).
• 2018 – Kofi Annan, Ghanaian diplomat and seventh Secretary-General of the United Nations (b. 1938).

The Pendle Witches

On August 20th 1612 ten people convicted of witchcraft at the Summer Assize held in Lancaster Castle went to the gallows on the moors above the town. Among their number were two men and a woman in her eighties. Their crimes included laming, causing madness and what was termed “simple” witchcraft. In addition to this some sixteen unexplained deaths, many stretching back decades, were laid at their door. 

Lancashire, in the early years of the seventeenth century, was remote, its roads poor, its people ill-educated. Throughout the county there were places where the outside world hardly intruded, and one such area was Pendle Forest. It was here, among stark hillsides, infertile valleys and scattered hamlets, that the story of the Pendle Witches had its beginnings. 

On March 18th 1612 a young woman by the name of Alison Device was out begging on the road to Colne. She stopped a peddler from Halifax, John Law, and asked him for a pin. He refused her request and walked away. According to Alison’s own testimony her ‘familiar spirit’ in the shape of a dog, appeared to her and asked if she would like him to harm Law. Alison was new to the art of witchcraft, indeed she seems to have resisted being indoctrinated into what was in effect the family business. But now she agreed that Law must be punished and she told the dog to lame the peddler. No doubt to her great surprise, the curse took immediate effect and Law fell to the ground, paralysed down one side (presumably by a stroke) and unable to speak. He was taken to a local inn and later Alison was brought to his bedside. She admitted her part in his illness and begged his forgiveness, which he gave. However, Law’s son Abraham had become involved, and he was far from satisfied. He took the matter to Roger Nowell the local magistrate, and from there things snowballed at an alarming rate. After hearing the most awful admissions from those he interviewed, Nowell made many arrests. By the end of  April nineteen people (including a group from Samlesbury and Isobel Roby from Windle) were incarcerated in Lancaster Castle, awaiting trial at the August Assize. 

The most famous of the Pendle witches actually died before coming to trial. Elizabeth Southernes (“Old Demdike”) had admitted to Nowell that she was a witch. In so doing she also implicated many of her co-accused, as did Anne Whittle (“Old Chattox”) who was herself accused of the murder by witchcraft of Robert Nutter. Also implicated were members of both their families: Elizabeth Device, Demdike’s daughter, was accused of two murders, as was her son James, while Alison was to stand trial for what she had done to John Law on that fateful spring day five months before. Anne Redfearne, Chattox’s daughter, stood accused of the murder of Christopher Nutter eighteen years previously.

Others were dragged into the affair: John and Jane Bulcock, a mother and her son, were tried for causing madness, and for being at a so-called Witches Sabbath held at Malkin Tower on Good Friday 1612; Alice Nutter from Roughlee Hall, was accused of killing one Henry Mitton because he refused to give Demdike a penny; Margaret Pearson was accused of bewitching one of her neighbour’s horses to death, and Katherine Hewitt was accused of the murder of Ann Foulds. 

Lancaster formed part of the Northern Circuit, and the Assize Court judges visited the town twice a year. The trials commenced on Tuesday 18th August with Sir Edward Bromley presiding. First into the dock was Old Chattox. She was accused of the murder of Robert Nutter some eighteen years previously. She pleaded not guilty, but eventually confessed when confronted by evidence given by Demdike and James Device to Roger Nowell back in April. Elizabeth Device followed her into court. She stood charged with three counts of murder, accusations she vehemently denied. However, the Prosecution had a star witness in the form of Elizabeth’s own nine year old daughter Jennet. Her evidence was devastating, and Elizabeth was so overcome with anger that she had to be removed from court. Jennet told of familiar spirits, of the making of clay images in order to cause death, of the Sabbath supposedly held at Malkin Tower on Good Friday, where it was decided to blow up the castle and kill the Governor, Thomas Covell, in order to free those imprisoned there. She spoke of witches mounting ponies and flying off on them before vanishing into thin air. Inevitably, Elizabeth was found guilty as well.

James Device was tried next. He was in a pitiable condition, and may even have been physically ill-treated during his imprisonment. However, there was little sympathy for him and after more hearsay evidence, and his own testimony, he was found guilty along with Elizabeth Device and Anne Whittle. 

Anne Redfearne had already been acquitted of one murder. Now she was tried for killing Christopher Nutter eighteen years previously. The evidence hinged on Nutter’s daughter remembering that her father believed he was the victim of a curse. She had also been seen making clay images by James Device. Anne was found guilty. Next into the dock was Alice Nutter. She was a gentlewoman, and the evidence against her was flimsy. However, her fate was sealed by Jennet Device, who identified her as being present at the infamous Sabbath. Alice too, was convicted. The trial of Katherine Hewitt “Mouldheels” went much the same way, with little Jennet again the star witness. Katherine was convicted as well. Jennet’s evidence against John and Jane Bulcock was even more slight: she remembered John turning a spit on which they had roasted a lamb that  Good Friday. It was illegal to aid or assist a witch, and this was enough in 1612, along with other hearsay evidence, to seal the fate of both defendants.

Margaret Pearson was tried for killing a horse by riding it to death (“Hag Ridden” from which we get the modern word “haggard”) She was convicted, although ultimately not condemned.

Alizon Device was the last of the Pendle witches to be tried. Unusually, the key witness against her was also the victim: John Law. He was the object of much pity, as his brush with Alison had left him crippled. When he was assisted into court Alison rushed to him and begged his forgiveness once more, which he again gave. The court was moved to ask her if she could help restore him to health. She told them she was not powerful enough, but that Old Demdike, had she lived, could have done so. Alison was found guilty.

Isobel Roby, from Windle, also stood trial on charges of witchcraft at this Assize, and she too was convicted.

All that remained was for the sentences to be handed down. Bromley had little option: under the terms of the 1604 Witchcraft Act all the accused had been found guilty of crimes punishable by death. On August 20th 1612 the ten condemned prisoners were taken to the moors above the town and hanged. 

The trials in Lancaster in August 1612 are among the most famous witchcraft trials in history. This is mainly due to the fact that we have a very full (albeit biased) account of them, left to us by the Clerk of the Court, Thomas Potts. In 1613 he published his account of these events in a book entitled “The Wonderfull Discoverie of Witches in the Countie of Lancaster.” This is our only real primary source for what was going on in the more remote areas of Lancashire over all those years, and Potts was writing for an audience which included King James I himself, and one which was more than ready to believe in the existence of such evil. This was also a time of great tension, and of anti-Catholic rhetoric. The Gunpowder Plot was still fresh in the memory, and Potts chose to dedicate his book to Lord Knyvett, the man who had actually arrested Guy Fawkes in 1605. Politics and religion played their part in the prosecutions and convictions in Lancaster in 1612, but the inescapable fact remains that at the end of the day ten people lost their lives, found guilty of a crime that no longer even officially exists.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Christian Slater (55), Edward Norton (55), Robert Redford (88), Roman Polanski (91), Huw Edwards (63), Austin Butler (33), Robert De Niro (81), Sean Penn (64), Belinda Carlisle (66), Taika Waititi (49), Steve Carell (62), James Cameron (70), Julie Newmar (91), Madonna (66), Jennifer Lawrence (34), Ben Affleck (52), David Zayas (62), Natasha Henstridge (50), Jim Dale (89), Tony Robinson (78), Mila Kunis (41), Halle Berry (58), Steve Martin (79), Joseph Marcell (76), Sebastian Stan (42), Cara Delevingne (32), and Jim Beaver (74). 

Looks like none of the Fascist rioters have managed to cause any famous deaths, perhaps they don’t socialise in the same circles… Maybe they could do with a succulent Chinese meal to calm down. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Charles Cyphers, 85, American actor (Halloween, Assault on Precinct 13, Major League).  
• Graham Thorpe, 55, English cricketer (Surrey, national team). 
• Ron Bain, 79, Scottish actor (Naked Video, A Kick Up the Eighties).   
• Connie Chiume, 72, South African actress (Black Panther, Rhythm City, The Air Up There). 
• Jack Karlson, 82, Australian criminal and meme inspiration (“democracy manifest“), prostate cancer. 
• Patrice Laffont, 84, French television presenter (Des chiffres et des lettres, Fort Boyard), heart attack. 
• Kevin Sullivan, 75, American professional wrestler, blood clot. 
• Susan Wojcicki, 56, American business executive, CEO of YouTube (2014–2023), lung cancer.

In Other News

The world of chess has been rocked after a Russian chess champion allegedly attempted to poison her childhood rival by covering her pieces in deadly mercury. Now facing a possible prison sentence, Amina Abakarova, 43, was caught on a security camera appearing to smear her rival’s pieces with the substance ahead of a tournament in Makhachkala, southern Russia last week. According to the World Health Organisation, even minor exposure to mercury can have serious health consequences. In the shocking footage, Ms Abakarova can be seen looking suspiciously around a room full of chess boards to ensure no one else was present. She then approaches her opponent’s table, takes what appears to be a vial from her bag, and pours the substance on the pieces before looking around the room again. The victim required medical treatment after experiencing “severe dizziness and nausea” during the game, but she was able to continue with the tournament. It is claimed that Ms Abakarova poisoned Umayganat Osmanova in an act of revenge after she insulted her last Friday. She is now facing up to three years behind bars for the incident. Sazhid Sazhidov, a Dagistani sports official, said: “We have video proof showing that one of the players at the Dagestani chess championship, Amina Abakarova from the city of Makhachkala, applied an unidentified substance, which later turned out to contain mercury, to the table where Umayganat Osmanova from the city of Kaspiisk was set to play against her.” Malcolm Pain of the English Chess Federation told The Flying Monkeys that there is no other recorded case in the history of chess of an attempted poisoning during a game. “Like many others, I am perplexed by what happened, and the motives of such an experienced competitor as Amina Abakarova are incomprehensible,” he said. “The actions she took could have led to a most tragic outcome, threatening the lives of everyone who was present, including herself. Now she must answer for what she did by the law.” The Russian Chess Federation is now considering giving Ms Abakarova a lifetime ban.  

Oasis singer Noel Gallagher, 57, has made a dark prediction about his future saying he would be “lucky” to make it to 60. The “Wonderwall” singer reflected on his health and lifestyle habits, particularly his alcohol consumption, as he explained the reasons behind the bleak prognosis. Comparing himself to 81-year-old Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones, he told the Flying Monkeys, “Just because Jagger is mincing around at 103 doesn’t mean everyone can.” The Manchester musician continued, “Well, I mean, they’ve got to be pushing, what, 70 now, innit? “I mean, the way I feel fucking now, I mean I’ll be fucking lucky if I make it to 60.” Reflecting on his health and alcohol intake, he explained he had also noticed some weight gain, and added, “I could do with getting off the booze, let’s put it that way,” he said. Gallagher previously said he didn’t want to live past 75 as he told BBC Radio 1 in 2022, “Do I want to live another 50 years? No. Just think how shit the world is now. I would rather not live through it. At 75 I want to go.” At the time he shared a bucket list of goals he’d like to tick off before he dies, including making a song with Johnny Marr and meeting Bob Dylan. Last month, he revealed he was set to go under the knife because of his “bad knees”. Although he didn’t explain the details of the procedure, the news came after his brother, Liam, has also been open about the arthritis affecting his knees suggesting the condition could be genetic.  

Sir Rod Stewart has cancelled his 200th residency celebration show due to a bout of the bacterial infection strep throat. The 79-year-old singer was set to bring his The Hits show at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace to a close on Wednesday after performing at the venue across the last 13 years. However, Sir Rod withdrew hours before what was meant to be his last show at the venue, saying he was “desperately sorry”. He added: “Most people can work with strep throat but obviously not me. I’m absolutely gutted. I’ve been looking forward to this concert for so long. My deepest regrets for any inconvenience this has caused. Thankfully we’ll now be returning in 2025 and I hope to see you all there,” he vowed. According to the NHS, a strep infection can mean patients having a sore throat, a rash, nausea and vomiting and muscle aches. It is often not a serious illness and can be treated with antibiotics. Sir Rod is a member of the US Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and was knighted by the Queen in 2016. Reflecting on his incredible legacy, Rod – who turns 80 in January – recently acknowledged his “days are numbered.” “I’m aware my days are numbered but I’ve got no fear. We have all got to pass on at some point, so we are all in the same basket. I am going to be enjoying myself for these last few years as much as I can. I say few — probably another 15. I can do that easy mate, easy.”

On This Day

• 1929 – Babe Ruth becomes the first baseball player to hit 500 home runs in his career with a home run at League Park in Cleveland, Ohio.
• 1934 – The first civilian prisoners arrive at the Federal prison on Alcatraz Island.
• 1942 – Actress Hedy Lamarr and composer George Antheil receive a patent for a Frequency-hopping spread spectrum communication system that later became the basis for modern technologies in wireless telephones, two-way radio communications, and Wi-Fi. 
• 1962 – Vostok 3 launches from the Baikonur Cosmodrome and cosmonaut Andrian Nikolayev becomes the first person to float in microgravity.

Deaths

• 1956 – Jackson Pollock, American painter (b. 1912).
• 1988 – Anne Ramsey, American actress (b. 1929).
• 1994 – Peter Cushing, English actor (b. 1913).
• 2014 – Robin Williams, American actor and comedian (b. 1951).
• 2022 – Anne Heche, American actress (b. 1969).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Chris Hemsworth (41), Viola Davis (59), Anna Gunn (56), Ian McDiarmid (80), Hulk Hogan (71), Rosanna Arquette (65), Antonio Banderas (64), Bill Skarsgård (34), Anna Kendrick (39), Gillian Anderson (56), Sam Elliott (80), Rhona Mitra (48), Eric Bana (56), Melanie Griffith (67), Dan Levy (41), Audrey Tautou (48), Dustin Hoffman (87), Charlize Theron (49), Michael Shannon (50), Abbie Cornish (42), Harold Perrineau (61), David Duchovny (64), Tobin Bell (82), M. Night Shyamalan (54), Michelle Yeoh (62), and Mark Strong (61).

Contender, ready! Gladiator, ready!!! No winners today though! Might as well sit down and  have a Tiramisu. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• John Anderson, 92, Scottish athletics coach and television personality (Gladiators). 
• Erica Ash, 46, American actress (Mad TV, The Big Gay Sketch Show, Survivor’s Remorse), breast cancer. 
• Roberto Linguanotto, 81, Italian chef, disputed inventor of tiramisu. 
• Robert Banas, 90, American dancer and actor (West Side Story). 
• DJ Randall, 54, British DJ and record producer. 

In Other News

Miriam Margolyes has shared a health update as she experiences difficulty walking, due to problems with problems her spine. The 83-year-old Harry Potter actor has opened up about dealing with spinal stenosis – the narrowing of the spinal canal – which can cause compression on the spinal nerves. As the condition progresses, it can cause back and leg pain. Margolyes said that she is now registered as disabled and has started using a mobility scooter. “I can’t walk very well, and I’m registered disabled,” she told the Flying Monkeys. “I use all kinds of assistance. I’ve got two sticks and a walker and they’re such a bore, but I’ve just got a mobility scooter, which is a lot of fun.” Last year, the Australian actor underwent major heart surgery to replace her aortic valve, and has since shared concerns that she won’t have enough money to cover her health and medical support costs as she gets older. “I’m worried that I won’t have enough money for carers when I finally get paralysed or whatever it is that’s going to happen to me, I’m saving up cash so that I can pay people to look after me and my partner. We don’t have children, so I need to make sure I’m going to be looked after in the way that I’ve become accustomed. When I started kind of failing physically, I remember saying to directors and producers, please don’t show me clambering out of a car or climbing upstairs on my hands and knees. I didn’t want people to see that because I was embarrassed to see myself looking so pathetic. But, subsequently, I’ve met loads of people who have said I gave them the courage to do things that they never thought they could. So I’m very pleased about that.”  

Following on from last weeks story of the 23-year-old Australian surfer who survived having his leg bitten off by a suspected great white shark, he has vowed to be back in the water “in no time”. Kai McKenzie was attacked off the mid-north coast of New South Wales last week, and his severed leg later washed up on the beach. The limb was placed on ice and taken to a hospital about 200km away from the place where the attack took place, with the hope that it could be reattached. It’s not clear if doctors attempted surgery to reattach the leg, but an Instagram post by Mr McKenzie on Monday confirmed that he had lost the limb. “Spot something missing? Hahah,” Mr McKenzie quipped in a caption alongside an image showing him standing arm-in-arm with a group of friends. Mr McKenzie was taken to Port Macquarie Base Hospital and later flown to John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle after last Tuesday’s attack. He was riding the waves off the shore of New South Wales when a 10ft shark attacked and nearly killed him. In an earlier post on Instagram on Saturday he detailed the incident and thanked people for the support he received. “To be here right now just to fucking be able to hold my beautiful Eve and my family is everything to me,” he wrote. “A few days ago I went through a crazy shark attack, biggest shark I’ve ever seen, which was a very crazy scene and scared the living fuck out of me. But to all you fucking kind-hearted people, all you legends, to anyone and everyone all your support has meant the absolute world to me. I can tell you now if you know my personality this means fuck all. I’ll be back in that water in no time, big fuck off to that shark and big thanks to Steve for saving my life.” In a statement on Thursday, the McKenzie family also thanked all of the “medical staff … bystanders and first responders” who had worked to save the surfer’s life. 

Good Morning Britain contributor Iain Dale has shared an update on his health following the news earlier this week that he had been admitted to hospital with “acute pain”. The broadcaster, 62 – who’s made numerous appearances as a panelist on the ITV show over the years – announced just days ago that he had ended up in A&E over a suspected “gall bladder issue”. He however later told fans that he was in intensive care awaiting an operation to remove the organ. The LBC radio host took to Twitter, on Wednesday afternoon to share an update. He stated that his gallbladder is “infected and inflamed,” with Iain adding that his operation had been postponed amid other treatment. Addressing his followers, he wrote in the post: “FURTHER UPDATE: No sign of gallstones but gallbladder infected and inflamed. Decision on op put off until we see if antibiotics work.” He continued: “Hope to be discharged tomorrow, but won’t be at full capacity for some time, I’m told.” Iain also expressed gratitude to his followers for their well wishes and support. He concluded the recent tweet by writing: “Renewed thanks for all the kind comments and to the wonderful people who have been caring for me.” It comes just days after Iain shared that he was “suffering” due to his health recently. He initially took to the platform on Sunday to apologise to his followers for his “lack of interaction,” attributing it to a “bout of food poisoning”. 

On This Day

• 1693 – Date traditionally ascribed to Dom Perignon’s invention of champagne. 
• 1783 – Mount Asama erupts in Japan, killing about 1,400 people. The eruption causes a famine, which results in an additional 20,000 deaths.
• 1892 – The father and stepmother of Lizzie Borden are found murdered in their Fall River, Massachusetts home. She will be tried and acquitted for the crimes a year later. 
• 2020 – Beirut Port explosion: At least 220 people are killed and over 5,000 are wounded when 2,700 tons of ammonium nitrate explodes in Beirut, Lebanon.

Deaths

• 1875 – Hans Christian Andersen, Danish novelist, short story writer, and poet (b. 1805).
• 1962 – Marilyn Monroe, American model and actress (b. 1926).
• 1999 – Victor Mature, American actor (b. 1913).

How Lizzie Borden Got Away With Murder

The Lizzie Borden murder case is one of the most famous in American criminal history. New England’s major crime of the Gilded Age, its barbarity captivated the national press. And the suspected killer was immortalised by an eerie rhyme passed down through generations:

Lizzie Borden took an ax
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.

While the public largely believed that Borden committed the murders, the rhyme is not quite correct: the female victim was Borden’s stepmother, and the weapon wasn’t an ax, but rather a hatchet, a smaller, lighter tool. Also, the killer struck the victims around half as many times as stated in the rhyme, 19 blows rained down on 64-year-old Abby Borden, and 10 or 11 rendered the face of Lizzie Borden’s 69-year-old father, Andrew Borden, unrecognisable. Still, the rhyme does accurately record the sequence of the murders, which took place about an hour and a half apart on the morning of August 4th, 1892. 

In the early hours, after the discovery of the bodies, the public only knew that the assassin had struck the victims in broad daylight at their home on a busy street, one block from the town’s business district. There was no evident motive like robbery or sexual assault. Neighbours and passers-by heard nothing. No one saw a suspect enter or leave the Borden property.

Moreover, Andrew Borden was no ordinary citizen. Like other Fall River Bordens, he possessed wealth and standing. He had invested in mills, banks and real estate. But Andrew had never made a show of his good fortune. He lived on the unfashionable Second Street, in a modest house, now a spooky bed and breakfast, instead of on “The Hill,” Fall River’s lofty, leafy, silk-stocking enclave.

Lizzie Borden, then a 32-year-old who lived at home, longed to reside on The Hill. She knew her father could afford to move away from a neighbourhood increasingly dominated by Catholic immigrants. 

Police initially considered the killings the work of a man, probably a “foreigner.” Within a few hours of the murders, they arrested a suspect: an innocent Portuguese immigrant from the town’s new diaspora of European workers. 

On the day of the murders, Lizzie claimed that she’d come into the house from the barn and discovered her father’s body. She yelled for the Bordens’ 26-year-old Irish servant, Maggie Sullivan, who was resting in her third-floor room. She told Sullivan she needed a doctor and sent the servant across the street to the family physician’s house. He was not at home. 

Initially, this helped keep Lizzie off the suspect list. She was, after all, a Sunday school teacher at her wealthy Central Congregational Church. Members of her social class didn’t think a person like her would slaughter her parents. 

But during the interrogation, Lizzie’s answers to different police officers shifted. And her inability to summon a single tear aroused police suspicion. Then an officer discovered that Borden had tried to purchase deadly prussic acid from a nearby drugstore a day before the murders. 

Five days after the murders, authorities convened an inquest. Lizzie took the stand on each of its three days; the inquest was the only time she testified in court under oath.

Even more than the heap of inconsistencies that the police compiled, Lizzie’s testimony led her into a briar patch of seeming self-incrimination. She did not have a defence lawyer during what was a closed inquiry. But she was not without defenders. The family doctor, who staunchly believed in her innocence, testified that after the murders, he prescribed a double dose of morphine to help her sleep. Its side effects, he claimed, could account for her confusion. Her 41-year-old sister, Emma Borden, who also lived at home, claimed that the sisters harboured no anger toward their stepmother. 

However, authorities arrested Lizzie on August 11th, one week after the murders. The judge sent her to the county jail. This privileged suspect found herself confined to a cheerless 9.5-by-7.5-foot cell for the next nine months. 

Lizzie’s arrest provoked an uproar that quickly became national. Women’s groups rallied to her side, especially the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union and suffragists. Borden’s supporters protested that at trial, she would not be judged by a jury of her peers, as women did not have the right to serve on juries.

Lizzie’s upper-class status benefited her throughout her ordeal. During the preliminary hearing, one of Boston’s most prominent defence lawyers joined the family attorney to advocate for her innocence. 

Her attorneys stressed that the prosecution offered no murder weapon and possessed no bloody clothes. As to the prussic acid, Lizzie was a victim of misidentification, they claimed. In addition, throughout the saga, her legion of supporters remained steadfast that Lizzie’s guilt was culturally inconceivable: A well-bred, virtuous Victorian woman, a “Protestant nun,” to use the words of the national president of the temperance union, could never commit patricide. 

At the preliminary hearing, Lizzie’s defence attorney  delivered a rousing closing argument. Her partisans erupted into loud applause. It was to no avail. The judge determined she was ‘probably guilty’ and should remain jailed until a state Superior Court trial. 

Neither the attorney general, who typically prosecuted capital crimes, nor the district attorney was eager to haul Lizzie into Superior Court, though both believed in her guilt. There were holes in the police’s evidence. And while Lizzie’s place in the local order was unassailable, her arrest had also provoked a groundswell of support.

Though he did not have to, the district attorney brought the case before a grand jury in November. He was not sure he would secure an indictment. Twenty-three jurors convened to hear the case on the charges of murder. They adjourned with no action. Then the grand jury reconvened on December 1st and heard dramatic testimony. 

Alice Russell, a single, pious, 40-year-old member of Central Congregational, was Lizzie’s close friend. Shortly after Andrew Borden was killed, Lizzie sent Sullivan to summon Alice. She slept in the Borden house for several nights after the murders, with the brutalised victims stretched out on mortician boards in the dining room. Russell had testified at the inquest, the preliminary hearing and earlier before the grand jury. But she had never disclosed one important detail. Distressed over her omission, Russell returned to the grand jury. She testified that on the morning after the murders, Lizzie had pulled a dress from a shelf in the pantry closet and proceeded to burn it in the cast iron coal stove. The grand jury indicted Lizzie the next day. 

The district attorney perhaps underestimated the legal and cultural impediments he faced. With her father’s money in hand, Lizzie could afford the best legal team to defend her, including a former Massachusetts governor who had appointed one of the three justices who would preside over the case. That justice delivered a slanted charge to the jury, which one major newspaper described as “a plea for the innocent.” The justices took other actions that stymied the prosecution, excluding testimony about prussic acid because the prosecution had not refuted that the deadly poison could be used for innocent purposes. 

Not surprisingly, the jury quickly decided to acquit Lizzie. They waited for an hour so it would not appear they’d made a hasty decision. 

The courtroom audience, the bulk of the press and women’s groups cheered Lizzie’s acquittal. But her life was altered forever. Two months after the innocent verdict, the Borden sisters moved to a large Victorian house on The Hill. Yet many people there and in the Central Congregational Church shunned her. Lizzie became Fall River’s curio, followed by street urchins and stared down whenever she appeared in public. She withdrew to her home, but even there, neighbourhood kids pestered Lizzie with pranks. 

Lizzie enjoyed traveling to Boston, New York and Washington, D.C., dining in style and attending the theatre. She and her sister Emma had a falling out in 1904, and Emma left the house in 1905. The sisters never saw each other again. Both died in 1927, Lizzie first and Emma nine days later. Both were buried in the same plot as their father and stepmother.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Meghan Markle (43), Billy Bob Thornton (69), Barack Obama (63), Lee Mack (56), Evangeline Lilly (45), Stephen Graham (51), Martin Sheen (84), Steven Berkoff (87), John C. McGinley (65), Mamie Gummer (41), Sam Worthington (48), Edward Furlong (47), Kevin Smith (54), Jason Momoa (45), Daisy May Cooper (38), Wesley Snipes (62), Michael Biehn (68), Emilia Fox (50), Dean Cain (58), J.K. Rowling (59), Christopher Nolan (54), Arnold Schwarzenegger (77), Lisa Kudrow (61), Hilary Swank (50), Laurence Fishburne (63), Frances de la Tour (80), Terry Crews (56), Jean Reno (76), Carel Struycken (76), and Wil Wheaton (52).

Alas no points scored this week, however we have plenty to read, especially the story of a Great White Shark Attack, which we in the UK might have to deal with soon enough. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Evelyn Thomas, 70, American singer (“High Energy“). 
• Lucía Chacón Hechavarría, 112, Cuban supercentenarian. 
• Duke Fakir, 88, American singer (Four Tops), heart failure. 
• John Mayall, 90, English musician (John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers) and songwriter (“I’m Your Witchdoctor“, “Crawling Up a Hill“). 
• Louis van Schoor, 72, South African serial killer, complications from sepsis. 
• Roberta Taylor, 76, English actress (EastEnders, The Bill) and author, pneumonia. 
• Ysanne Churchman, 99, English actress (The Archers). 
• Janet Andrewartha, 72, Australian actress (Neighbours, Prisoner, Fake). 

In Other News

The severed leg of a 23-year-old Australian surfer who was attacked by a great white shark off the mid-north coast of New South Wales has washed up on the beach, police said. Kai McKenzie was attacked by a shark at North Shore Beach at Port Macquarie on Tuesday morning around 11am local time and remained in critical condition. The surfer managed to catch a wave to the shore where bystanders helped treat him after the attack. An off-duty police officer, who was walking his dog on the beach, used his dog’s leash as a tourniquet around his wound in an attempt to stem the bleeding before paramedics arrived at the scene. Mr McKenzie was taken to Macquarie base hospital and later flown to John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle where he remained in a stable but critical condition. The severed leg that washed up on the beach was placed on ice and taken to the hospital about 200km away from the place where the attack occurred. However, doctors will assess whether the leg can be reattached. Shark biologists from the NSW Department of Primary Industries and Regional Development reviewed photographs of the incident and identified the shark as a great white approximately 3m in length. “He saw the shark,” Kirran Mowbray, a NSW ambulance worker said. “He was able to fight it off. He was very courageous. He turned around and caught a wave into shore. The only person that saw the shark was the young man himself. He was quite calm. He was able to talk with us. He was completely with it,” he added. Images from the scene showed Mr McKenzie’s surfboard with a chunk bitten off by the shark from its tail.  

Disgraced movie mogul and convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein has been hospitalised with Covid-19 and pneumonia in both lungs just days after he appeared at a court hearing in New York over his retrial on rape and sexual assault charges. The Hollywood movie producer was transferred from the notorious Rikers Island jail complex in New York to a secure ward at Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan on Wednesday. “Mr Weinstein tested positive for COVID and contracted double pneumonia in his lungs,” his publicist Juda Engelmayer said in a statement on Thursday. Weinstein was first transferred to the hospital’s prison ward late on Wednesday night before being sent to the Manhattan hospital. There, Weinstein is also being treated for a “myriad of health conditions” including diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal stenosis, and fluid on his heart and lungs, his publicist said. “We continue to express our gratitude to the officers, doctors and nurses in the city’s corrections and public hospital systems who saw to it that Mr. Weinstein was immediately transferred to the Bellevue Hospital Prison Ward,” he added. This marks Weinstein’s second stint at the hospital since he was returned to Rikers Island in April for legal proceedings related to his rape case.  

Three members of gospel group The Nelons have been killed in tragic plane crash. The group is formed of Kelly Nelon Clark, her husband Jason Clark, and Kelly’s daughters Amber Nelon Kistler and Autumn Nelon Streetman. Kelly, Jason and Amber were amongst those killed in the accident, with Amber’s husband Nathan Kistler, and three friends also dead.  They were travelling to the Gaither Homecoming Cruise when the plane crashed over a remote area of northeastern Wyoming. There were no survivors. Autumn, who wasn’t on the plane released a statement on Saturday to announce the sad news. She wrote: ‘As many of you have heard by now, my father and mother, Jason and Kelly Nelon Clark, along with my sister, Amber, and brother-in-law, Nathan, as well as our dear friends Melodi Hodges, Larry, and Melissa Haynie, were involved in a tragic plane crash on Friday.  ‘Thank you for the prayers that have been extended already to me, my husband, Jamie, and our soon-to-be-born baby boy, as well as Jason’s parents, Dan and Linda Clark. We appreciate your continued prayers, love, and support as we navigate the coming days.’ 

Earlier this month, Stevie Nicks canceled a solo concert in  Glasgow, Scotland. At the time, she blamed it on a leg injury that required surgery. Now, Nicks is revealing her condition was much more serious, requiring hospitalisation for the 76-year-old singer. Nicks’ health crisis forced her to abruptly postpone her July 6th Glasgow show and her July 9th Manchester show. The initial announcement downplayed things. “Due to a recent leg injury requiring a minor surgical procedure that will need a few days of recovery time, Stevie Nicks’ scheduled performances in Glasgow Saturday 6th July and Manchester Tuesday 9th July have been postponed,” Glasgow venue OVO Hydro posted Twitter. During the rescheduled Glasgow show on July 24th, Nicks told the crowd what actually occurred. “I don’t know what happened. I just got this weird infection, and it just went crazy,” she told the crowd at the concert. The musician said that she was staying in a “fabulous castle” in Glasgow for her concert. “We get here days early because we want to be here for a few days,” she said. “I finally just looked at my assistant – it was like two in the morning – and I said, ‘I think we need to go to emergency’. She looked at me and I said, ‘I’m not kidding! I think we need to go to the hospital. And so our butler – this wonderful man – throws us in his BMW Sedan, which is so great, and off we sped through the night to a hospital.” The singer said she spent two days in the hospital, before she returned to the castle and decided to cancel the Glasgow show. “I’ve been fighting this for this whole thing,” she told her fans. “This whole tour I’ve been fighting what started here. And I would be damned if I wasn’t coming back here,” she said.  

Sir Geoffrey Boycott has been rushed to hospital with pneumonia after suffering a setback in his recovery from cancer surgery. The national cricket icon, 83, went under the knife this week after revealing he had been diagnosed with throat cancer for a second time. His family issued an update on social media, telling fans that Boycott had successfully undergone a three-hour operation. However, a new statement on Sunday afternoon revealed that Boycott’s health has now “taken a turn for the worse.” After returning home from his cancer surgery, the former batsman was struck down with pneumonia. He is “unable to eat or drink” as a result of the illness. Boycott is now back in hospital “on oxygen and a feeding tube.” The full statement from daughter Emma read: “Thank you all for the well wishes, we’ve been blown away by the sheer number of them! Unfortunately things have taken a turn for the worse and my Father has developed pneumonia and is unable to eat or drink so is back in hospital on oxygen and a feeding tube for the foreseeable.” The update on Boycott’s health comes after he revealed his second cancer diagnosis at the start of July. He said at the time: “In the last few weeks I have had an MRI Scan, CT Scan, a PET Scan and two biopsies and it has now been confirmed I have throat cancer and will require an operation. From past experience I realise that to overcome cancer a second time I will need excellent medical treatment and quite a bit of luck and even if the operation is successful every cancer patient knows they have to live with the possibility of it returning. So I will just get on with it and hope for the best.” 

On This Day

• 1540 – Henry VIII of England marries his fifth wife, Catherine Howard.
• 1883 – A moderate earthquake measuring magnitude 4.3–5.2 strikes the Italian island of Ischia, killing over 2,300 people. 
• 1976 – The Tangshan earthquake measuring between 7.8 and 8.2 moment magnitude flattens Tangshan in the People’s Republic of China, killing 242,769 and injuring 164,851.

Deaths

• 1655 – Cyrano de Bergerac, French poet and playwright (b. 1619).
• 1750 – Johann Sebastian Bach, German organist and composer (b. 1685).
• 2021 – Dusty Hill, American musician (b. 1949).
• 2022 – Bernard Cribbins, British actor (b. 1928)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Hannah Waddingham (50), Anya Chalotra (29), Elizabeth Berkley (52), Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (54), Taylor Schilling (40), Donnie Yen (61), Jason Statham (57), Kate Beckinsale (51), Sandra Bullock (60), Kevin Spacey (65), Helen Mirren (79), Nana Visitor (67), Eve Myles (46), Mick Jagger (81), Matt LeBlanc (57), D.B. Woodside (55), Iman (69), Jennifer Lopez (55), Anna Paquin (42), Elisabeth Moss (42), Summer Glau (43), Lynda Carter (73), Danny Dyer (47), Kathryn Hahn (51), Ronny Cox (86), Daniel Radcliffe (35), Woody Harrelson (63), Charisma Carpenter (54), Rhys Ifans (57), Willem Dafoe (70), Selena Gomez (32), Terence Stamp (86), Danny Glover (78), and Bonnie Langford (60).

Let’s dole out the points! With the passing of Bob Newhart I can award 56 points to Iwan!  Well done that bloke! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Tomcraft, 49, German DJ and producer. 
• Whitney Rydbeck, 79, American actor (Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, 1941, Battle Beyond the Stars). 
• Cheng Pei-pei, 78, Hong Kong actress (Come Drink with Me, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Mulan), complications from corticobasal degeneration. 
• Bob Newhart, 94, American comedian and actor (The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart, Elf). 
• Ray Reardon, 91, Welsh snooker player, six-time world champion, cancer. 

In Other News

For all of you enjoying festival season, beware what you grab hold of! Brazilian rock singer Ayres Sasaki was electrocuted last week during a live performance in Brazil. The musician died instantly after reportedly hugging a soaking-wet fan during a concert on July 13th at the Solar Hotel in Salinopolis. The contact allegedly triggered a nearby cable to jolt, causing a fatal electric shock, according to The Flying Monkeys. Salinópolis Police are investing the incident. The Pará Civil Police say that witnesses have given statements and they have requested expert reports. The Solar Hotel shared a statement on social media about the tragic incident. “We are fully dedicated to providing support to his family and taking the necessary measures. We reaffirm our commitment to fully cooperating with the competent authorities for the proper clarification of the events,” the hotel wrote in a translated message. “Our thoughts and condolences are with Ayres Sasaki’s family and friends at this difficult time.” Sasaki is survived by his wife of 11 months, Mariana. On her Instagram Story, Sasaki’s wife thanked fans. “I would like to thank you for every message of affection and comfort, for every prayer during this difficult time that we are going through, I haven’t been able to read all the messages yet, but as I feel better, I will respond to each one. Thank you.” 

There are rumours that Bret Michaels, the reality TV star and frontman of the glam-metal band Poison, has been hospitalised and is in critical condition after suffering a brain haemorrhage. An article on his website seemed to confirm his condition but has since been removed. “There are several incorrect reports on Bret’s condition,” read the Saturday posting on bretmichaels.com. “Bret remains in critical condition at an undisclosed location. Further tests are being ran and information will be updated in the coming days.” Michaels, 47, former star of VH1’s “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” and current “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant, initially was hospitalised at an undisclosed facility Thursday after suffering a massive subarachnoid haemorrhage, or bleeding at the base of his brain stem, his publicist confirmed to the Flying Monkeys on Friday. Michaels was in critical condition and under “intense observation” by doctors while they ran tests to determine the cause of his bleeding. The new medical woes came on the heels of an emergency appendectomy Michaels received after falling ill before a concert in April. Last weekend, Michaels revealed details of how he was rushed to a hospital in April before a show in San Antonio, Texas. “They told me that if I had gone onstage like I wanted to, my appendix likely would have ruptured and I could have died,” he wrote on his blog. “I’m feeling pretty bad … to tell you the truth,” Michaels wrote after the appendectomy. “When you’re not planning on having a body part ripped out of you, it can be a shock to the system. While the doctors are amazing in San Antonio, there is just no way around the fact that getting your appendix out HURTS. I have a pretty good threshold for pain, but this one hurts.” The rocker added that because he’s been a diabetic since age 6, his recovery could take longer than usual. However, it’s unlikely that Michaels’ diabetes spurred his current condition. “This type of haemorrhage is usually from an aneurysm,” Dr. Wendy Wright, an assistant professor of neurology and neurosurgery at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, told the Flying Monkeys. “The risk of an aneurysm rupturing is probably related to size – the larger the aneurysm, the more likely to rupture – and also may be more likely in people who smoke or on blood thinning medications.”  *Editors note: So, this happened in 2011, FML. 

The daughter of Dame Esther Rantzen, Rebecca Wilcox, shared an update about her mother’s health whilst appearing on Good Morning Britain. Rebecca appeared on the programme in a bid to share a plea with Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer. Rebecca is urging Sir Keir to change the law in favour of assisted dying. It was here that she shared heartbreaking information about her TV star mum’s lung cancer battle. Rebecca appeared emotional as she discussed her plea to the Prime Minister, she also admitted how difficult it is to discuss the topic, stating that she “can’t talk about it” without being upset. The devoted daughter’s appearance follows Esther’s decision to join the assisted dying clinic Dignitas in Switzerland, due to assisted dying being illegal in the UK. Rebecca shared her disappointment that Sir Keir’s promise to reverse the law was not mentioned in the King’s speech this week. She confessed that due to the severity of her mother’s illness, she is currently “living from scan to scan”. A tearful Rebecca detailed: “We feel like we’re living in an hourglass and the sand is pouring on us. There will come a point where our heads are no longer above it, and I really want politicians, MPs, people of this country to realise that we all have a choice in how we live, and I want us to have a choice in how we die. This is not about shortening anyone’s life, it’s about shortening their death and making it dignified.” Rebecca spoke of her mother, stating: “I don’t want her to go through a painful death. I don’t want my memories of her to completely be dissolved by pain and agony in those last few days.” 

On This Day

• 1865 – In the market square of Springfield, Missouri, Wild Bill Hickok shoots and kills Davis Tutt in what is regarded as the first western showdown.
• 1969 – Apollo program: At 02:56 UTC, astronaut Neil Armstrong becomes the first person to walk on the Moon, followed 19 minutes later by Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin.
• 1983 – The world’s lowest temperature in an inhabited location is recorded at Vostok Station, Antarctica at −89.2 °C!

Deaths

• 1796 – Robert Burns, Scottish poet and songwriter (b. 1759).
• 1967 – Basil Rathbone, South African-American actor and singer (b. 1892).
• 1998 – Alan Shepard, American admiral, pilot, and astronaut (b. 1923).
• 2004 – Jerry Goldsmith, American composer and conductor (b. 1929).
• 2023 – Tony Bennett, American singer (b. 1926).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Josh Hartnett (46), Juno Temple (35), Paloma Faith (43), John Woodvine (95), John Francis Daley (39), Sandra Oh (53), Gisele Bündchen (44), Benedict Cumberbatch (48), Jared Padalecki (42), Vin Diesel (57), Kristen Bell (44), Priyanka Chopra Jonas (42), Eric Winter (48), Brett Goldstein (44), David Hasselhoff (72), Alex Winter (59), Rosa Salazar (39), Will Ferrell (57), Phoebe Cates (61), Corey Feldman (53), Travis Fimmel (45), Brigitte Nielsen (61), Diane Kruger (48), Forest Whitaker (63), Celia Imrie (72), and Jesse Ventura (73).