We’re off to a flying start this year with the second batch of points to award. Both Dave and Paul C had Masazo Nonaka as a Cert, so they both get 137 points!! Good work gentlemen, it certainly looks like the supercentenarian’s are paying off very well this month. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Carol Channing, 97, American actress (Hello, Dolly!, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Thoroughly Modern Millie), singer and dancer, Tony winner (1964).  
• Windsor Davies, 88, Welsh actor (It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, Carry On England, Never the Twain).  
• Boo, 12, American Pomeranian and internet celebrity, heart failure.  
• Masazo Nonaka, 113, Japanese supercentenarian, oldest verified living man.

 In Other News

Norfolk Police say they have spoken to the Duke of Edinburgh after he was pictured driving without a seat belt, 48 hours after he failed his Bird Box Challenge near Sandringham in Norfolk. A spokeswoman said “suitable words of advice have been given to the driver”. Meanwhile, Emma Fairweather, who broke her wrist in the crash, said the duke has not even apologised; not realising the Queen could have her hung drawn and quartered for treasonously trying to kill her husband. The crash on the A149, in which Prince Philip’s Land Rover Freelander landed on its side after a collision with a Kia, happened on Thursday. Two days later, pictures in the media appeared to show the duke, 97, driving alone on a road near the entrance to the Sandringham estate in a replacement Freelander, without a seat belt. Let’s see if he dies within the next few weeks of shock, I’m sure Diana would appreciate the karma. 

Ten months after his arrest for drink driving, a once drug addled Ant McPartlin has joined TV partner Declan Donnelly at the auditions for ITV’s Britain’s Got Talent. They posted a picture of themselves on their first day working together for almost a year. It seemed to be a selfie taken in a car en route to the London Palladium, where the pair are hosting auditions for the new series, luckily Ant wasn’t driving. “Audition day 1. The boys are back in town!” read the accompanying message. It is Ant McPartlin’s first day on the job since his arrest and conviction for drink driving last spring, after which he took time off to go to rehab. If you remember, Ant, 43, was involved in a three-car collision in south-west London on 18th March last year.  

A zookeeper was killed in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12-foot long reptile. According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind. The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator who dragged him underwater and drowned him. Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM in the morning, but his disappearance was only noticed hours later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30am. “The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr. Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position,” Captain White told reporters. “He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance! We can see him being dragged into the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack.”  Jimmy Olsen had been working with the reptiles at Naples Zoo for the last two years, and was considered a reptile specialist. He was killed, by a 24-foot long male alligator named Brutus while he was engaged in sexual intercourse with one of the smaller specimens. Apparently this isn’t unusual for zoo keepers, but Olsen is the first zoo worker to die while having sexual intercourse with an animal. In 2002, three employees of the Columbus zoo were condemned after it was revealed that the zookeepers allowed people into the zoo after business hours for the purpose of fornicating with the animals in exchange for money.

On This Day

• 1265 – The first English parliament to include not only Lords but also representatives of the major towns holds its first meeting in the Palace of Westminster, now commonly known as the “Houses of Parliament”. This meeting of twats hasn’t changed since.  
• 1936 – King George V of the United Kingdom dies. His eldest son succeeds to the throne, becoming Edward VIII. The title Prince of Wales is not used for another 22 years.  
• 1992 – Air Inter Flight 148, an Airbus A320-111, crashes into a mountain near Strasbourg, France killing 87 of the 96 people on board.

Deaths

• 1984 – Johnny Weissmuller, American swimmer and actor (b. 1904)  
• 1990 – Barbara Stanwyck, American actress (b. 1907)  
• 1993 – Audrey Hepburn, British actress and humanitarian activist (b. 1929)  
• 1994 – Matt Busby, Scottish footballer and coach (b. 1909)  
• 2012 – Etta James, American singer-songwriter (b. 1938)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Dave Bautista (50), Kevin Costner (64), Mark Rylance (59), Jason Segel (39), Jane Horrocks (55), Jim Carrey (57), Zooey Deschanel (39), Betty White (97), James Earl Jones (88), Kelly Marie Tran (30), Michelle Obama (55), John Carpenter (71), Kate Moss (45), Sade (60), James May (56), James Nesbitt (54), Claudia Winkleman (47), DJ Jazzy Jeff (54), Jason Bateman (50), Faye Dunaway (78), Carl Weathers (71), Dave Grohl (50), Ruth Wilson (37), Liam Hemsworth (29), Michael Peña (43), Orlando Bloom (42), Bill Bailey (54), and William B. Davis (81).

We have a winner! Unbelievably, the oldest woman in the US has died and one of us listed her! Sometimes the simplest approaches are the best. Well done Trish, 36 points to start off the year, plus an extra 50 for getting the first death of the year! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• W. Morgan Sheppard, 86, British actor (Transformers, Max Headroom, Gettysburg).  
• Lessie Brown, 114, American supercentenarian, oldest living person in the U.S.  
• Verna Bloom, 80, American actress (Animal House, High Plains Drifter, The Last Temptation of Christ), complications from dementia.  
• Dianne Oxberry, 51, British broadcaster (BBC North West Tonight), cancer.  
• Ron Smith, 94, British comic artist (Judge Dredd).

In Other News

Three-time Formula 1 world champion Niki Lauda is in hospital in Vienna with influenza, five months after having a lung transplant. It is understood doctors are taking every precaution given the serious nature of Lauda’s surgery. Austrian Lauda, 69, was given his transplant in August after doctors found he had “severe lung disease”. Doctors said after the transplant that he would have had between three and seven days to live without the surgery. Lauda, a Mercedes F1 non-executive chairman, has legendary status in F1 not just for his 25 race wins and three championships – two with Ferrari and one for McLaren – but his recovery from a fiery accident at the 1976 German Grand Prix. Lauda was given the last rites after he was trapped inside his burning Ferrari at the Nurburgring, suffering severe burns to his face, hands and lungs. He raced in Italy 40 days later. Doctors said the illness this year was not a consequence of the accident. 

Wayne Rooney’s arrest for public intoxication was a result of feeling “disorientated” after taking sleeping tablets on a flight while drinking, says his spokesman, and we all know where that combination can lead! The former England and Manchester United captain was arrested on 16th December at Dulles International Airport in Virginia after returning from a one-day trip to Saudi Arabia. Rooney, 33, was charged and paid a $25 fine and $91 costs on 4th January, according to court documents from Loudoun General District Court. In a statement, his spokesman said: “During the flight Wayne took a prescribed amount of sleeping tablets mixed with some alcohol consumption and consequently was disorientated on arrival, he certainly wasn’t being a cunt on purpose. “He was approached by police who arrested him on a minor misdemeanour charge. “He received a statutory automatic fine and was released shortly afterwards at the airport. The matter is now at an end.  

Reality TV star Katie Price has denied being almost twice the legal alcohol limit while in charge of a vehicle. The 40-year-old was arrested by police who found a damaged Range Rover at the roadside on Shooters Hill Road, Greenwich, at about 02:00 GMT on 10th October last year. Ms Price, of Horsham, Sussex, was in the vehicle and had 69 micrograms of alcohol per 100 millilitres of breath, Bromley Magistrates’ Court heard. The legal limit is 35 micrograms. The court heard a man in a nearby block of flats concluded an “accident of some sort” had occurred involving his parked black car, which had pink paint on when he later inspected it. CCTV footage appeared to show the Range Rover was in the vicinity of his vehicle, District Judge Nigel Dean told the court. Judge Dean said Ms Price will rely on the defence that “there was no likelihood of driving while the level of alcohol exceeded the proscribed limit”. At the hearing, Ms Price spoke only to deny the charge and give her name, address and date of birth, and then flashed her tits on the off-chance a media photographer was there. 

On This Day

• 1842 – Dr. William Brydon, an assistant surgeon in the British East India Company Army during the First Anglo-Afghan War, becomes famous for being the sole survivor of an army of 4,500 men and 12,000 camp followers when he reaches the safety of a garrison in Jalalabad, Afghanistan.
• 1915 – The 6.7 M_w  Avezzano earthquake shakes the Province of L’Aquila in Italy with a maximum Mercalli intensity of XI (Extreme), killing between 29,978–32,610. 
• 1950 – British submarine HMS Truculent collides with an oil tanker in the Thames Estuary, killing 64 men. 
• 1985 – A passenger train plunges into a ravine in Ethiopia, killing 428 in the worst railroad disaster in Africa.  
• 2012 – The passenger cruise ship Costa Concordia sinks off the coast of Italy due to the captain Francesco Schettino’s negligence and irresponsibility. There are 32 confirmed deaths.

Deaths

• 858 – Æthelwulf, king of Wessex  
• 1929 – Wyatt Earp, American police officer (b. 1848)
• 1941 – James Joyce, Irish novelist, short story writer, and poet (b. 1882)  
• 2009 – Patrick McGoohan, Irish-American actor, director, and producer (b. 1928)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rachael Harris (51), Kirstie Alley (68), Rob Zombie (54), Howard Stern (65), Jeff Bezos (55), Pixie Lott (28), Melanie C (45), Amanda Peet (47), Jason Connery (56), Rachel Riley (33), John Sessions (66), Jemaine Clement (45), Evan Handler (58), Rod Stewart (74), Joely Richardson (54), Imelda Staunton (63), Jimmy Page (75), Michelle Forbes (54), Shirley Bassey (82), Christian Bale (44), Olivia Colman (44), Nicolas Cage (55), Jeremy Renner (48), Erin Gray (69), Eddie Redmayne (37), Rowan Atkinson (64) and Norman Reedus (50).

Afternoon all, welcome to the first newsletter of 2019!!! Lots of the usual stuff but alas no points to award just yet! Thank you to those of you who have already donated to the running costs this year, every little helps! If you would like to contribute, you can do so on the website. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Daryl Dragon, 76, American musician and songwriter (Captain & Tennille, The Beach Boys), renal failure.  
• Bob Einstein, 76, American actor (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ocean’s Thirteen) and performer (Super Dave Osborne), leukemia. 
• Julia Grant, 64, British trans woman pioneer (A Change of Sex). 
• Darius Perkins, 54, Australian actor (Neighbours, Home and Away), cancer.
• Scott Dozier, 48, American convicted murderer, suicide.

In Other News

Olivia Newton-John has dismissed recent reports speculating about her health. The Australian actor – who shot to fame after a starring role in the musical Grease – revealed in September she had been diagnosed with cancer for the third time in three decades. Media outlets in the US began reporting last month that she only had “weeks” to live. Responding to the reports in a video posted to Facebook, Newton-John assured fans she is “doing great”. “Happy New Year everyone, this is Olivia Newton-John and I just want to say that the rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated, to quote a very famous quote,” she said. “And I am doing great and want to wish all of you the happiest, healthiest 2019 as possible and thank you all for your wonderful love and support for me and for my Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness Centre in Melbourne, Australia.” Newton-John announced she had been diagnosed once again with cancer last year, telling Australian news programme Sunday Night that doctors found a tumour in her lower back in 2017 while she was undergoing a medical evaluation. The 70-year-old said she was treating the cancer with “modern” medicines along with natural remedies. She said she had cut sugar completely from her diet and was using marijuana to help with the physical pain. Her husband, John Easterling, founded the Amazon Herb Company and grows cannabis at their Californian ranch.

Argentina legend Diego Maradona has been released from hospital after being admitted with internal bleeding in his stomach, his daughter said. The 58-year-old was having a routine medical in his home country when doctors discovered the problem. However, his family said the diagnosis was not serious. “For those who were really worried about my dad I can tell you that he is well,” his daughter Dalma said. “He is going home soon.” Reuters news agency later reported Maradona had left the hospital. Maradona, who captained Argentina to World Cup victory in 1986, is coach of Mexican second division side Dorados de Sinaloa. He was taken ill during Argentina’s victory over Nigeria at last year’s World Cup in Russia but later said he was “fine”.  

Pop star Jimmy Osmond is being treated for a stroke that was diagnosed after he came off stage following a pantomime performance on Thursday. Osmond, 55, was playing Captain Hook in Peter Pan at the Birmingham Hippodrome. His spokesperson said the star went to hospital after “pushing through” the evening’s performance. There are no further details about his condition. He is part of the famous Osmond family and had chart hits including 1972’s Long Haired Lover From Liverpool. His spokesperson said: “On the evening of Thursday 27th December, after pushing through the evening’s performance of Peter Pan at Birmingham Hippodrome, Jimmy Osmond was driven straight to hospital and diagnosed with a stroke. “He is grateful for all the well wishes and will be taking time out in the new year.” Known as “Little” Jimmy, he is the youngest member of the Osmond family and became the youngest person to have a UK number one single when Long Haired Lover From Liverpool hit the top spot.  

Sir Billy Connolly has spoken candidly about death and living with Parkinson’s disease. The 76-year-old was diagnosed with the degenerative neurological condition in 2013 and announced his retirement from touring last month. Appearing on the BBC documentary series Made in Scotland, which sees Connolly reflect on his life and career, the revered comedian said: “My life, it’s slipping away and I can feel it and I should. “I’m near the end. I’m a damn sight nearer the end than I am the beginning. But it doesn’t frighten me, it’s an adventure and it is quite interesting to see myself slipping away. “As bits slip off and leave me, talents leave and attributes leave. I don’t have the balance I used to have, I don’t have the energy I used to have. I can’t hear the way I used to hear, I can’t see as good as I used to. I can’t remember the way I used to remember. “And they all came one at a time and they just slipped away, thank you. It is like somebody is in charge of you and they are saying ‘right, I added all these bits when you were a youth, now it is time to subtract’.” Glasgow-born Connolly, nicknamed The Big Yin, was a welder in his home city before becoming a globally renowned comedian. He is known for his energetic performing style but said Parkinson’s prevented him from moving around the stage like he did at his peak. Speaking about Parkinson’s on the BBC programme, he says: “It takes a certain calm to deal with, and I sometimes don’t have it. I sometimes get angry with it, but that doesn’t last long, I just collapse in laughter.” 

On This Day

• 1540 – King Henry VIII of England marries Anne of Cleves.  
• 1839 – The Night of the Big Wind, the most damaging storm in 300 years, sweeps across Ireland, damaging or destroying more than 20% of the houses in Dublin.
• 2017 – The US Congress certifies Donald Trump winner of 2016 presidential election. God help us all!

Deaths

• 1852 – Louis Braille, French educator, invented Braille (b. 1809) 
• 1884 – Gregor Mendel, Czech geneticist and botanist (b. 1822)
• 1919 – Theodore Roosevelt, American colonel and politician, 26th President of the United States (b. 1858)
• 1949 – Victor Fleming, American director, producer, and cinematographer (b. 1883)
• 1993 – Dizzy Gillespie, American singer-songwriter and trumpet player (b. 1917)  
• 1993 – Rudolf Nureyev, Russian-French dancer and choreographer (b. 1938)  
• 2012 – Bob Holness, South African-English radio and television host (b. 1928)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Bradley Cooper (44), January Jones (41), Clancy Brown (60), Diane Keaton (73), Robert Duvall (88), Hayao Miyazaki (78), Vinnie Jones (54), Marilyn Manson (50), Julia Ormond (54), Matt Frewer (61), Julian Sands (61), Michael Stipe (59), Mel Gibson (63), Victoria Principal (69), Tia Carrere (52), Cuba Gooding Jr. (51), and Frank Langella (81).

Before we start, let’s congratulate Victoria & Louise for scoring 57 points even at this late stage for the sad death of June Whitfield. But if nothing happens between now and Midnight, we will have to declare David J. the winner of 2018! Well done him! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Tom Leonard, 74, Scottish poet.  
• Paddy Ashdown, 77, British politician, Leader of the Liberal Democrats (1988–1999), High Representative for Bosnia and Herzegovina (2002–2006), MP (1983–2001), bladder cancer.  
• Nancy Roman, 93, American astronomer.  
• Wendy Beckett, 88, British nun and art historian.  
• Penny Cook, 61, Australian actress (A Country Practice, E Street, Neighbours), cancer.  
• Richard Arvin Overton, 112, American supercentenarian, nation’s oldest living World War II veteran, complications from pneumonia.  
• Robert Kerman, 71, American actor (Debbie Does Dallas, Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox). 
• Dame June Whitfield, 93, English actress (Terry and June, Last of the Summer Wine, Absolutely Fabulous). 

2018 Most Prominent Deaths

Professor Stephen Hawking – British theoretical physicist and author, who battled motor neurone disease to become one of the finest and most popular scientists of his generation.     

Aretha Franklin – Known as the Queen of Soul, and an icon of the US civil rights movement, she possessed one of the most distinctive voices in popular music, embracing jazz, gospel, soul and rhythm and blues.  

Stan Lee – American creator of comic book superheroes Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four and the Hulk, who transformed comic book art into a multi-million dollar industry, spearheading what became known as the “Marvel age of comics”. 

Dame June Whitfield – Actor celebrated for her comic roles, June Whitfield was a regular fixture of British TV, radio and film. Often playing the female stooge to some of the UK’s most famous entertainers, she called herself “a comic’s tart”. She starred in Hancock’s Half Hour and Carry On films, but will perhaps be best remembered for the sitcoms Terry and June and Absolutely Fabulous.

Jim Bowen – TV host and comedian who presented the darts-based gameshow Bullseye and was famous for catchprases including “Super, smashing, great” and “You can’t beat a bit of Bully!”  

Bella Emberg – Comedy actress whose career spanned 60 years. She was best known for her role as Blunderwoman, a sidekick to hapless superhero Cooperman in the 1980s TV programme The Russ Abbot Show.  

Barry Chuckle – One half of the Chuckle Brothers comedy duo who found fame on ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1967. With his brother, Paul, he starred in the BBC programme ChuckleVision which ran for 21 series.  

Geoffrey Hayes – Television presenter, who played the lovable and long-suffering upholder of peace on children’s programme Rainbow from 1974-1992 – alongside characters Zippy, George and Bungle. 

Dolores O’Riordan – Singer, frontwoman of The Cranberries. 

Montserrat Caballé – Spanish soprano known for her huge repertoire and bel canto technique, but best remembered for her duet with Freddie Mercury which became the signature song of the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.  

Avicii – Swedish musician, DJ, remixer and record producer who became one of the world’s biggest dance music stars, with club anthems including Wake Me Up, Levels and Lonely Together with Rita Ora.  

Joe Jackson – Father of the musically-talented Jackson family. His single-mindedness in achieving fame for his children – including Michael, Janet and LaToya – often attracted controversy. 

Chas Hodges – One half of duo Chas and Dave, known for their rock and cockney style, they enjoyed fame in the 1970s and 1980s with hits such as Rabbit – which played on cockney rhyming slang “rabbit and pork”, meaning “talk”. 

Sir Ken Dodd – An old-fashioned variety performer – one of the most popular UK artists of his time. He starred on TV, topped the music charts, and filled theatres across the country. 

Burt Reynolds – Actor and director who appeared in hundreds of films, TV movies and series. His role in Deliverance made him a star, his big hit was Smokey and the Bandit, and Boogie Nights won him an Oscar nomination. His extravagant lifestyle also made the headlines. 

Peter Stringfellow – Nightclub owner who was self-made, with a lavish lifestyle and a reputation as a ladies’ man. With his string of nightclubs he was known as the King of Clubs. Stringfellow’s in London’s West End was a magnet for celebrities. 

Trevor Bayliss – Inventor best known for the wind-up radio. He also created hundreds of other devices, including many to help people with disabilities. 

Winnie Mandela – ANC activist and potent symbol of South Africa’s anti-apartheid struggle, she campaigned for black South African rights and the release of her then-husband, Nelson Mandela. Her reputation later became tainted by a fraud conviction and murder accusations, which she denied. 

John McCain – American Vietnam war hero who became one of the country’s best known politicians, representing Arizona in Congress and Senate. A Republican, he established a reputation for challenging his own party leadership. In 2008 he ran for the presidency, losing to Barack Obama.  

George HW Bush – The 41st president of the United States of America. He was vice-president to Ronald Reagan and became the first vice-president for more than 150 years to be elected president. He served in the US Navy in World War Two, made a fortune in the Texas oil industry and represented Texas for the Republicans in the House of Representatives. Appointed US ambassador to the UN by Richard Nixon, and head of the CIA by Gerald Ford.  

Barbara Bush – US first lady – only the second woman in US history to be the wife of one president and the mother of another. She was never content to accept a passive role as political wife. A long-time campaigner for social justice, she spoke out against racial segregation and threw her weight behind the drive to eradicate illiteracy in America.  

Leslie Grantham – Actor – best known as the roguish “Dirty Den” Watts in BBC television soap EastEnders, in which he delivered the opening line in 1985. His own life was also touched by controversy. 

Margot Kidder – Actress who found fame as Lois Lane in the Superman films starring Christopher Reeve of the 1970s and 1980s. She later became a political and women’s rights activist and one of the first Hollywood stars to talk openly about mental health problems.  

Dale Winton – TV and radio presenter. Gained celebrity status presenting Supermarket Sweep in the 1990s, along with National Lottery television programmes and Radio 2’s Pick of the Pops.  

Denis Norden – TV host and comedy writer who – with Frank Muir – formed one of the most successful comedy writing partnerships in British history. He will be more recently remembered as creator and host of the original blooper clip show It’ll be Alright on the Night. 

Peter Wyngarde – Actor who played dandy detective Jason King in the 1970s TV show that was a partial inspiration for the Austin Powers films. 

Verne Troyer – Actor best known for playing Mini-Me in the Austin Powers films, the clone and sidekick of Dr Evil, played by Mike Myers. He also played the goblin Griphook in the first Harry Potter film. 

Sir Roger Bannister – The first man to run a mile in under four minutes, establishing him as one of the great names of British athletics. He went on to become a leading neurologist and the Master of Pembroke College, Oxford.  

Kofi Annan – Former UN secretary general and Nobel Peace Prize winner who focused on the organisation’s role in fighting poverty, injustice and disease and was able to act as an honest broker at the highest levels of diplomacy.  

Baroness Tessa Jowell – Former Labour cabinet minister Tessa Jowell played a major role in securing the 2012 Olympics for London. Diagnosed with a brain tumour, she campaigned for more NHS cancer treatments. 

Lord Ashdown of Norton-sub-Hamdon – Jeremy John Durham “Paddy” Ashdown led the Liberal Democrats for 11 years, after having served as a Royal Marine and member of the UK intelligence services. In 2002, he was appointed as UN high representative in Bosnia-Herzegovina, helping to steer the country through its post-war reconstruction. He was known for speaking his mind and for his drive and energy – which earned him the nickname Action Man. 

Eric Bristow – Five-time darts world champion nicknamed the Crafty Cockney, whose cheeky man-of-the-people image and charisma were central to the sport’s domination of post-pub TV in the 1980s.  

Baroness Trumpington – Conservative peer Jean Barker was a society girl who became a Bletchley Park codebreaker, working against the Nazis, in World War Two. Known for her independent spirit, she achieved fame for flicking a V-sign at a colleague during a debate in the House of Lords. 

Billy Graham – Preacher who took his mission of mass evangelism worldwide, preaching to an estimated 215 million people in 185 countries – and reaching hundreds of millions more through his radio and television ministry.  

Sister Wendy Beckett – Roman Catholic Carmelite nun and art historian, who became an unlikely television star when she presented a succession of popular TV programmes from art galleries around the world. Her belief that art belonged to everyone, her avoidance of jargon and obvious passion for her subject endeared her to audiences. 

On This Day

• 1916 – Russian mystic and advisor to the Tsar Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin was murdered by a loyalist group led by Prince Felix Yusupov. His frozen, partially-trussed body was discovered in a Moscow river three days later.  
• 2004 – A fire in the República Cromagnon nightclub in Buenos Aires, Argentina kills 194.  
• 2006 – Former President of Iraq Saddam Hussein is executed.

Deaths

• 1916 – Grigori Rasputin, Russian mystic (b. 1869)  
• 2006 – Saddam Hussein, Iraqi general and politician, 5th President of Iraq (b. 1937)
• 2014 – Luise Rainer, German-born American-British actress (b. 1910)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Denzel Washington (64), Noomi Rapace (39), Maggie Smith (84), Sienna Miller (37), Joe Manganiello (42), Nichelle Nichols (86), Olivia Cooke (25), Gérard Depardieu (70), John Amos (79), Kit Harington (32), Jared Leto (47), Phil Spector (79), Sissy Spacek (69), Helena Christensen (50), Annie Lennox (64), Stephenie Meyer (45), Carol Vorderman (58), Harry Shearer (75), Jude Law (46), Jon Voight (80), Ted Danson (71), Danny McBride (42), Bernard Cribbins (90) and Marianne Faithfull (72).

Apologies for the short issue this week, like most of you I am immensely busy with this thing we call Christmas. Like all of you, I will not be celebrating the birth of Jesus, but will be celebrating consumerism by buying too much food and spending too much money on gifts that dwarf the value of what the Three Mages initially proffered to the ‘virgin’ Mary on the birth of her son, conceived by an angel, so she said… Apparently condoms were in short supply back then and blatant lies were easily believed and turned into a world  dominating religion capable of setting humanity back by hundreds of years and killing vast amounts of people for little more than being a female with a slight interest in science. 

Anyhow, I hope you have a fantastic capitalist holiday, forgetting the meaning of ‘christianity’ by overfilling yourself stupidly whilst some people suffer and starve whilst we sell their governments arms to kill them. 

On another note, get your lists in! I’m too tired to chase you this year. Tell your friends, tweet the fuck out of the website, mumble in pubs, wee on your work colleagues. Generally, do what you normally do. Merry Amazon Day! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Colin Kroll, 34, American businessman (Vine, HQ Trivia).  
• Penny Marshall, 75, American actress (Laverne & Shirley) and director (Big, A League of Their Own), complications from diabetes.  
• Donald Moffat, 87, British-born American actor (The Thing, The Right Stuff, Clear and Present Danger), complications from a stroke.

In Other News

In some American news that didn’t concern Donald Trump, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent surgery on Friday morning for early stage lung cancer, the Supreme Court confirmed in a statement. According to the court’s public information office, Ginsburg underwent a pulmonary lobectomy at New York’s Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. “Two nodules in the lower lobe of her left lung were discovered incidentally during tests performed at George Washington University Hospital to  diagnose and treat rib fractures sustained in a fall on November 7th,” read the statement. The statement also said that both nodules removed during surgery were found to be malignant on initial pathology evaluation. However, “post-surgery, there was no evidence of any remaining disease,” the statement continued. “Scans performed before surgery indicated no evidence of disease elsewhere in the body.” Time to hedge your bets people! Currently, no further treatment is planned for 85-year-old Ginsburg, who is “resting comfortably” and is expected to remain at the hospital for a few more days. Ginsburg previously beat cancer twice; she was treated for colorectal cancer in 1999 and pancreatic cancer in 2009. So never say I don’t give you great chances to score!    

Former glamour model Katie Price has been charged with being drunk in charge of a motor vehicle. Ms Price, 40, from Horsham, Sussex, will appear at Bromley Magistrates’ Court on 7th January. She was charged by postal requisition last week, after her arrest on suspicion of drink-driving in south-east London two months ago. The Met Police said officers had come across a damaged car on Shooters Hill Road in Woolwich on 10th October. This is one of many signs that Ms Price is fast falling from grace and is quickly superseding ‘The Sheen’ for being a superb Maverick. Along with being sexually abused by her own son on a constant basis, she’s currently seeing some toy boy fuck thing and will be attempting to stay sober at a wedding over the New Year celebrations. Even the scumbag tabloid ‘The Sun’ has now lost track of how many marriages she’s managed in the last year, but one assumes the amount of man-muck that’s been fired up her and sticky white love piss she’s ingested over the years will finally catch up on her, either through severe indigestion or fanny rot, who can tell. Let’s not forget the rehab session of 24 hours for PTSD and drink and drug binges. For your information, the coke this lass likes isn’t available at McDonalds and to  be sure, anyone who makes Peter Andre looks good has to be fucked. 

On This Day

• 1919 – Sex Disqualification (Removal) Act 1919 becomes law in the United Kingdom. 
• 1947 – The transistor is first demonstrated at Bell Laboratories.  
• 1954 – First successful kidney transplant is performed by J. Hartwell Harrison and Joseph Murray.  
• 1970 – The North Tower of the World Trade Center in Manhattan, New York, New York is topped out at 1,368 feet (417 m), making it the tallest building in the world. Little over thirty years later, it was demolished by the CIA. 
• 1972 – The 16 survivors of the Andes flight disaster are rescued after 73 days, having reportedly survived by cannibalism.  
• 1986 – Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, lands at Edwards Air Force Base in California becoming the first aircraft to fly non-stop around the world without aerial or ground refuelling.

Deaths

• 1973 – Charles Atlas, Italian-American bodybuilder and model (b. 1892)  
• 2006 – Charlie Drake, English actor (b. 1925) 
• 2013 – Mikhail Kalashnikov, Russian general and weapons designer, designed the AK-47 rifle (b. 1919)