Dead Pool 30th October 2022

Welcome all, last week we saw Jerry Lee Lewis die, resurrect, then die again. Amazing stuff from the chap I thought who’d died in the 90’s! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

An Iranian hermit known as “the world’s dirtiest man” has died aged 94, having spent most of his life avoiding bathing. Iranian flying monkeys reported that Amou Haji, or “Uncle Haji”, died on Sunday in Dezhgah village in the southern province of Fars. Locals said he had shunned hygiene for more than 70 years due to “emotional setbacks” in his youth that led him to believe washing would ruin his health. He was also said to avoid fresh food, preferring rotting carcasses, especially those of porcupines. He was known to smoke animal faeces out of a pipe and was pictured drawing on several cigarettes at a time. Locals were fond of him and built an open brick shack for him to live in, according to a 2014 article in the Tehran Times. Haji fell ill not long after locals finally took him to bathe for the first time in decades, the flying monkeys reported. On an earlier attempt by neighbours to take him to bathe in the local river, Haji threw himself out of the car when he realised the purpose of the trip. Unsurprisingly, Haji never married. His funeral was set for Tuesday night in Farashband City, Fars. The hermit’s death leaves open the chance for a 67-year-old Indian man to take over what could be the record length of time without washing. Kailash Singh of Maharashtra has not bathed in nearly half a century on the promise of a priest that shunning cleanliness would guarantee him a son. 

Tributes have been paid to the late radio presenter Tim Gough, who died while on air on Monday. The 55-year-old broadcaster died from a suspected heart attack at his home in Lackford, Suffolk, while presenting his regular breakfast show on GenX Radio. News of Gough’s death was confirmed by a spokesperson at GenX, who tweeted: “It is with the heaviest of hearts that I have to inform you, our dear friend and breakfast host Tim Gough passed away this morning whilst presenting his programme. “Our love to his family, son, sister, brother and mum. Tim was doing what he loved. He was 55 years old. RIP buddy.” GenX said it was “shocked and devastated beyond words” at Gough’s death. James Hazell, managing director of GenX Radio, said : “To know Tim personally, as I did very closely for over 30 years, was to know a warm, caring, fun guy who myself and my family loved dearly. We are heartbroken by the news. I know his family are enormously comforted by the hundreds of loving messages that have been received and have asked for privacy at this devastating time.” Gough was reportedly an hour into hosting his breakfast show when the music stopped midway through a track. When the music resumed a few minutes later, he did not return.  

US house speaker Nancy Pelosi has said she and her family are “heartbroken and traumatised” after a “violent man” broke into her San Francisco home and attacked her husband. Paul Pelosi, 82, is recovering from a skull fracture after he was struck with a hammer by an intruder on Friday. The Democrat broke her silence on the attack with a statement on Sunday, saying her husband’s condition “continues to improve”. She said: “Sadly, a violent man broke into our family home yesterday morning, demanded to confront me and brutally attacked my husband Paul. Our children, our grandchildren and I are heartbroken and traumatised by the life-threatening attack on our Pop. We are grateful for the quick response of law enforcement and emergency services and for the life-saving medical care he is receiving.” The intruder – David DePape – broke into the couple’s home in San Francisco at around 2.30am, reportedly looking for the US house speaker. Police said officers were called to the house for a “wellbeing check” and arrived to find both men holding the hammer. They said the suspect then pulled the hammer away from Mr Pelosi and used it to “violently assault” him, before being tackled by officers. At some point, the suspect searched for the Democrat leader shouting, “Where is Nancy? Where is Nancy?” San Francisco Police Chief William Scott told a news conference on Friday night that the attack on Mr Pelosi at their San Francisco home was “intentional”. He said: “This was not a random act. This was intentional. And it’s wrong.” Mr Scott declined to comment further on a possible motive for the assault and said the investigation was ongoing.

On This Day

  • 1938 – Orson Welles broadcasts a radio adaptation of H. G. Wells’s The War of the Worlds, causing a massive panic in some of the audience in the United States.
  • 1961 – The Soviet Union detonates the Tsar Bomba, the most powerful explosive device ever detonated.
  • 2015 – Sixty-four people are killed and more than 147 injuries after a fire in a nightclub in the Romanian capital Bucharest.


  • 1923 – Bonar Law, Canadian-English banker and politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1858)
  • 1979 – Barnes Wallis, English scientist and engineer, inventor of the “bouncing bomb” (b. 1887)
  • 2015 – Al Molinaro, American actor (b. 1919)

For the Chop!

A woman found guilty of decapitating her friend has become the first person to be sentenced on television in the UK.

Jemma Mitchell, 38, was jailed for life with a minimum term of at least 34 years after she was found guilty of beheading Mee Kuen Chong, 67, and transporting her body 200 miles in a suitcase to dump it in woodland. Mitchell, who the prosecution said was motivated by money, killed Chong in London in June 2021 and later dumped the body in Devon.

Judge Richard Marks said Mitchell showed no remorse for the murder and it was clear that the “apparently religious” killer is “extremely devious”.

Mr Marks added that a “chilling aspect” of the murder was what Mitchell did to Ms Chong’s body. “I am in no doubt whatsoever and your counsel acknowledges it that this was a murder done for gain,” Mr Marks said. 

Mr Marks said Mitchell was “highly intelligent” and took advantage of Ms Chong who was vulnerable because of her mental health struggles. Ms Chong’s sister Amy Chong provided a victim impact statement and joined the hearing by video link from Malaysia, along with the victim’s nieces Pinky and Yinky and nephew Ryan.

She said in her statement said: “Deborah’s death was a shock to us all. It was difficult to comprehend how it could have happened to her, although we are not close due to certain differences of opinion with regard to religion. “It saddens me she had to go through such a horrifying ordeal and tragic death.”

Reading his sentencing statement, Mr Marks said Mitchell went to Chong’s home with murder in mind. “Two weeks later you hired a car for a period of only 24 hours, you were seen on CCTV to put that large suitcase into the hire car. It was clearly heavy, such that you needed a trolley to wheel it down the road and into the car,” Mr Marks KC said.

“That is because it contained Deborah’s body. Your plans went awry when you had a puncture that had to be attended to by the AA, this meant that you had rather less time down there to find a place to secrete the body than you had envisaged. Hence why you were unable to find a more remote location than you did.”  

Chong’s headless body was found by holidaymakers beside a woodland footpath near Salcombe on 27th June last year. Following a police search of the area, Ms Chong’s skull was recovered a few metres away from the body.

Gruesome pictures released following the sentencing showed an open suitcase, allegedly used by Mitchell to transport the body to the woods.

During the trial, the prosecution revealed a fake will was found at Mitchell’s house, leaving the bulk of Ms Chong’s estate to her. 

Jurors were told she came up with the plan to kill Chong, who was known as Deborah, after she backed out of giving her £200,000 to pay for repairs to Mitchell’s dilapidated family home, worth £4m.

The osteopath, who boasted online of her award-winning skill in human dissection, had denied having anything to do with Ms Chong’s death but declined to give evidence at her trial. It was claimed on her behalf that the prosecution had failed to prove that she was involved or that Ms Chong was even murdered as a post-mortem examination found the cause of death to be “un-ascertained”. However, a pathologist said her skull fractures could have been caused by being pushed onto a protruding surface or being hit with a weapon, although none was ever recovered. Multiple rib fractures could have been caused by Chong being stuffed inside a suitcase that Mitchell was seen wheeling away, or during resuscitation attempts, jurors heard.

A jury at the Old Bailey deliberated for seven hours before finding Mitchell guilty of murder. 

Mitchell had decapitated Chong and stored her remains in the garden of the house she shared with her retired mother, the prosecution said during the trial. 

On 26th June last year, she stowed the body inside the suitcase in the boot of a hire car and drove to Devon. En route to Salcombe, the Volvo blew a tyre and Mitchell was forced to drive into a service station and call for assistance. The repairman called to change the wheel described Mitchell’s “confused” demeanour and an “odd musty smell” inside the vehicle. 

Jurors heard that none of the people who came to her aid saw the large blue suitcase in the boot, suggesting she had stashed it somewhere nearby, according to the prosecution.

Detective chief inspector Jim Eastwood, who led the investigation, described it as a “truly despicable crime”. He said: “The motivation for Jemma Mitchell’s actions was money and she showed a significant degree of planning and calculation as she attempted to cover up her horrific actions. The cold facts of this case are shocking.”

Mitchell had grown up in Australia, where her mother worked for the British Foreign Office and had set up an osteopathy business there before returning to the UK in 2015.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Fiona Dourif (41), Michael Beach (59), Clémence Poésy (40), Henry Winkler (77), Jessica Hynes (50), Winona Ryder (51), Ben Foster (42), Rufus Sewell (55), Richard Dreyfuss (75), Dan Castellaneta (65), Matt Smith (40), Julia Roberts (55), Annie Potts (70), Joaquin Phoenix (48), Gwendoline Christie (44), Caitlyn Jenner (73), John Cleese (83), Robert Picardo (69), Kelly Osbourne (38), Anthony Rapp (51), Cary Elwes (60), Seth MacFarlane (49), Jon Heder (45), Tom Cavanagh (59), Keith Urban (55), Mia Goth (29), Adam Goldberg (52), Craig Robinson (51), Nancy Cartwright (65), Katy Perry (38), Glynis Barber (67), Kevin Kline (75), and F. Murray Abraham (83).

Dead Pool 23rd October 2022

Alas no points to award this week, but plenty to read if you feel so inclined. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

In a very sad development, Carly Simon lost both of her sisters this week, with Broadway composer Lucy Simon dying of breast cancer Thursday and former opera singer Joanna Simon passing from thyroid cancer on Wednesday. Both deaths were confirmed by a source close to pop superstar Carly. Lucy Simon was 82, Joanna Simon was 85. Born into wealth and a rarified atmosphere of celebrity and literati to Simon & Schuster publisher Richard Simon and wife Andrea, the Simon sisters – their brother Peter was the youngest sibling – would all find their ways to success in professional music careers. Carly Simon would become one of pop music’s most successful and commercially viable of the era’s singer-songrwriters, with hits including “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” and “Anticipation” in 1971, and, the following year, her smash signature tune “You’re So Vain,” which endures on classic pop radio and as an object of debate over the mystery man of the lyrics. Lucy and Joanna Simon were predeceased by their brother, the photographer Peter Simon, who died of cardiac arrest at age 71 in 2018 after battling cancer. 

Where and when you die certainly elevates your newsworthiness it seems. Actress, director and writer Josephine Melville has died backstage after performing in a play. Nottingham Playhouse said Ms Melville died on Thursday after appearing in a production of Nine Night. The venue said she was treated by paramedics and a medically qualified audience member but died at the scene. Her acting credits included parts in EastEnders, The Bill and Casualty along with several theatre roles. She portrayed Tessa Parker – girlfriend of Kelvin Carpenter – for eight episodes of EastEnders in 1986 and earlier this year appeared in the video for Ella Henderson’s single Brave. 

Not to be outdone, singer and music producer Mikaben has tragically died after video footage surfaced showing him suddenly collapsing mid-show in Paris. Michael Benjamin, affectionately known as Mikaben, died at the age of 41. The singer had been performing onstage in Paris with the Haitian konpa band CaRiMi when he reportedly collapsed. The incident unfolded live on Twitter, with Frantz Duval – editor of a Haitian newspaper – first alerting fans that something was wrong. Singer Mickael Guirand then told fans to clear out. “End of the concert. We must evacuate the room,” Guirand said. “It’s very complicated. We need prayers.” Video footage from the concert shows Mikaben walking offstage when he suddenly collapses to the ground. The venue was cleared while he was being tended, with reports indicating that he was given CPR. An official cause of death has not been revealed.    

Robbie Coltrane’s cause of death has been revealed. The Harry Potter, James Bond and Cracker actor died on 14th October, aged 72. His agent of 40 years, Belinda Wright, announced the news, thanking the medical staff at Forth Valley Royal Hospital in Larbert, near Falkirk in Scotland, for their “care and diplomacy”. According to multiple reports, Coltrane died from multiple organ failure. According to the actor’s death certificate, the actor, who played Rubeus Hagrid in the Harry Potter franchise, had been suffering from sepsis, lower respiratory tract infection and heart block. News of the actor’s death led to tributes from the world of Hollywood, including his co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint. Harry Potter fans also shared a poignant clip from the film series’s 20th anniversary, Return to Hogwarts, which aired in January 2022. While discussing its legacy, a tearful Coltrane said: “I just think it’s the end of an era, 10 years of my life. My children have grown up during it, of course. The legacy of the movies is that my children’s generation will show them to their children. He added: “So, you could be watching it in 50 years’ time, easy… I’ll not be here, sadly… but Hagrid will, yes.” Coltrane, who was born Anthony Robert McMillan, is survived by his sister Annie Rae, his children Spencer and Alice, and their mother Rhona Gemmell.

On This Day

  • 1989 – An explosion at the Houston Chemical Complex in Pasadena, Texas, which registered a 3.5 on the Richter magnitude scale, kills 23 and injures 314.
  • 2001 – Apple Computer releases the iPod.
  • 2002 – Chechen separatist terrorists seize the House of Culture theatre in Moscow and take approximately 700 theatre-goers hostage. Doesn’t end well…


A nice night out at the Theatre

The Moscow theatre hostage crisis was the seizure of the crowded Dubrovka Theatre by 40 to 50 armed Chechen terrorists on 23rd October 2002, which involved 850 hostages and ended with the death of at least 170 people. The attackers, led by Movsar Barayev, claimed allegiance to the Islamist separatist movement in Chechnya. They demanded the withdrawal of Russian forces from Chechnya and an end to the Second Chechen War.  

Due to the layout of the theatre, special forces would have had to fight through 30 metres  of corridor and advance up a well-defended staircase before they could reach the hall in which the hostages were held. The attackers had numerous explosives, with the most powerful in the centre of the auditorium. Spetsnaz operators from Federal Security Service (FSB) Alpha and Vympel, supported by a Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs (MVD) SOBR unit, pumped an undisclosed chemical agent into the building’s ventilation system and began the rescue operation. 

The Chechens, some of whom were equipped with gas masks, responded by firing blindly at the Russian positions outside. After thirty minutes, when the gas had taken effect, a physical assault on the building commenced. The combined forces entered through numerous building openings, including the roof, the basement, and finally the front door.

When the shooting began, the terrorists told their hostages to lean forward in the theatere seats and cover their heads behind the seats. Hostages reported that some people in the audience fell asleep, and some of the gunmen put on respirators. As the terrorists and hostages alike began to fall unconscious, several of the female terrorists made a dash for the balcony but passed out before they reached the stairs. They were later found shot dead. Two of the Spetsnaz Alpha Group were also overcome by the gas.

After nearly one and a half hours of sporadic gun battles, the Russian special forces blew open the doors to the main hall and poured into the auditorium. In a fierce firefight, the federals killed most of the hostage-takers, both those still awake and those who had succumbed to the gas.

According to the Russian government, fighting between the troops and the still-conscious Chechen fighters continued in other parts of the building for another 30 minutes to one hour. Initial reports stated that three terrorists were captured alive (the BBC reported that a “handful of surviving fighters were led away in handcuffs”) and two of them managed to escape. Later, the government claimed that all hostage-takers had been killed in the storming.

Alpha team troops said that “this is our first successful operation in years”. Moskovskij Komsomolets cited a Russian special forces operative saying that “if it were a usual storming, we’d have had 150 casualties among our men, added to the hostages. 

All 40 of the insurgents were killed, an estimated 130 hostages died during the siege, including 9 foreigners, due to the toxic substance pumped into the theatre. The identity of the gas was not disclosed at the time, although it was believed by some to have been a Fentanyl derivative, such as Carfentanil. 

The number of estimated casualties varies widely because many hostages remained unaccounted for and were not included in the official list. Some estimates have put the civilian death toll at more than 200 with 204 names on one list, or even 300, including people who died during the year after the siege from complications from the poison gas. Some former hostages and relatives of the victims claim that the death toll from the chemical agent is being kept secret. According to official numbers, 40 terrorists and about 130 hostages died during the raid or in the following days. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ryan Reynolds (46), Emilia Clarke (36), Sam Raimi (63), ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic (63), Christopher Lloyd (84), Bob Odenkirk (60), Jeff Goldblum (70), Saffron Burrows (50), Catherine Deneuve (79), Derek Jacobi (84), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (47), Andrew Scott (46), Everett McGill (77), Kim Kardashian (42), Ken Watanabe (63), Viggo Mortensen (64), Danny Boyle (66), Snoop Dogg (51), Rebecca Ferguson (39), John Lithgow (77), Jon Favreau (56), Zac Efron (35), Jean-Claude Van Damme (62), Felicity Jones (39), Matthew Macfadyen (48), Michael McKean (75), Mark Gatiss (56), George Wendt (74), and Eminem (50).

Dead Pool 16th October 2022

Points!!!! With the tragic passing of Angela Lansbury, Sarah, Gwenan, Paula, Nickie, Fiona, Millie & Paul G score 54 points, however Debbie scores 154 as she had her down as her Woman. Well done everyone! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Former Coronation Street and Emmerdale star Chris Fountain has revealed that he suffered a mini stroke. The actor, 35, said he was left “speaking like a toddler” after he woke up one morning in August and was unable to speak properly. Fountain told the flying monkeys that he spent five days in a London hospital and was left fearing “life as I knew it was over”. Fountain was diagnosed with a Transient Ischaemic Attack (TIA), which is also known as a mini stroke, after a blood clot was lodged in his brain. While he has regained 90 per cent of his speech, the actor revealed he will now have to work with a speech therapist to relearn how to read aloud and not to stumble over his words. “I woke up one morning and knew something wasn’t right. My mum called me and I just couldn’t get my words out,” he told the flying monkeys. “I started walking round my house looking at things and I could think what the word was, like television or fridge, but I couldn’t say it. I called 111 on my mum’s advice and they sent an ambulance for me, it was so scary.” Fountain added that he felt “stupid” because he knew exactly what he wanted to say to the doctors but he “couldn’t get the words out”. “When the doctors confirmed I’d had a TIA and said the word stroke, I just couldn’t believe it, there was a moment of sheer panic just fearing what it meant for the rest of my life. Would I have another one? Would the next one be even worse and I’d lose the use of my arms or legs? I was really scared and just broke down in tears,” he added. Fountain was initially admitted to Homerton University Hospital but was later transferred to the specialist stroke unit at The Royal London Hospital. “The doctors said they saw some damage to the left hand side of my brain which is where your cognitive abilities are controlled from,” he continued. “What’s scary is if I hadn’t have called 111 when I did and got to hospital so quickly I don’t know if that clot could have travelled to the wrong place in my brain, I could have died. That clot was like a ticking bomb in my head.”  

BBC presenter George Alagiah will be taking a break from TV after discovering his cancer has spread further, his agent has said. He was first diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer in 2014 and has stepped back from presenting intermittently for treatment since then. The journalist, 66, returned to the BBC’s News at Six in April. Working in the newsroom “has been such an important part of keeping energised and motivated”, said Alagiah. In a statement, he said “it’s back to the tough stuff” after a scan showed his cancer had spread further. “I’m missing my colleagues”, he said, adding that he was looking forward to returning to the studio “as soon as I can”. The news was confirmed by his agent Mary Greenham. In January, Alagiah said he thought the cancer he had had since 2014 would “probably get me in the end”, but he still feels “very lucky”. Speaking on the podcast Desperately Seeking Wisdom he said that when his cancer was first diagnosed, it took a while for him to understand what he “needed to do”. “I had to stop and say, Hang on a minute. If the full stop came now, would my life have been a failure? And actually, when I look back and I looked at my journey… the family I had, the opportunities my family had, the great good fortune to bump into (Frances Robathan), who’s now been my wife and lover for all these years, the kids that we brought up… it didn’t feel like a failure.” Alagiah underwent 17 rounds of chemotherapy to treat his advanced bowel cancer in 2014 and said he was a “richer person” for it upon returning to presenting the following year. As well as presenting the news, Alagiah has worked as a BBC News foreign correspondent and specialist on Africa and the developing world, covering events including the Rwandan genocide and interviewing Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

On This Day

  • 1793 – French Revolution: Queen Marie Antoinette is executed.  
  • 1834 – Much of the ancient structure of the Palace of Westminster in London burns to the ground.  
  • 1846 – William T. G. Morton administers ether anaesthesia during a surgical operation.  
  • 1869 – The Cardiff Giant, one of the most famous American hoaxes, is “discovered”.  
  • 1962 – Cuban Missile Crisis begins: U.S. President John F. Kennedy is informed of photos showing nuclear missiles (the crisis will last for 13 days starting from this point).  
  • 1964 – China detonates its first nuclear weapon.  
  • 1968 – Tommie Smith and John Carlos are ejected from the US Olympic team for participating in the Olympics Black Power salute. 
  • 1975 – Three-year-old Rahima Banu, from Bangladesh, is the last known case of naturally occurring smallpox.


Celebrity wills and dying wishes

Everyone has a dying wish. For many, that means managing money beyond the grave. Wills are pretty important, and it’s good to ensure you pass something on to your loved ones. That said, many celebs have unusual wills and dying wishes.

Alexander McQueen: The innovative fashion designer loved his dogs, and left a reported $75,000 to them. 

Tupac Shakur: On his track, ‘Black Jesus,’ the rapper asked for friends to smoke his ashes. Members of his crew, Outlawz, followed through with this request. 

Leona Helmsley: The flamboyant businesswoman left $10 million to her brother, and $5 million to her grandsons. Meanwhile her dog, Maltese, received $12 million.  

William Shakespeare: The legendary writer left a strange present to his wife, Anne Hathaway. He left his “second best bed” for his wife—that’s right, his second best. 

Harry Houdini: Houdini was an iconic magician, and kept the tricks coming from the afterlife. His wife was instructed to hold séances every year on his death date, October 31st. 

Napoleon: After his death, Napoleon asked for his head to be shaved, and his hair divided among friends. 

Gene Roddenberry: The ‘Star Trek’ creator asked for his ashes to be sent into space. This was done in 1997. 

Philip Seymour Hoffman: Apparently, the actor didn’t want “trust fund kids,” so he left everything to his girlfriend Mimi O’Donnell. 

Janis Joplin: Joplin was a wild superstar, and didn’t want a miserable funeral. Instead, she left around US$2,500 for her friends to have an all-night party.  

William Randolph Hearst: Mr. Hearst was an influential magazine mogul. In his will, he offered just one dollar to anyone who could prove they were his child. 

Dusty Springfield: Springfield had some curious requests for her cat, Nicholas. She asked for him to be fed baby food, given a tree house, and to be serenaded by Springfield’s records.  Adam Yauch: In his will, the Beastie Boy asked that neither his image or music should be used for advertising. 

Mickey Rooney: Once a star, Mickey Rooney only had around $80,000 before he passed away. The actor left none of it to his wife and children.

Jeremy Bentham: The philosopher asked that his body be stuffed with hay, and put on display in London. You can still see him there today. 

Fred Baur: Baur invented the Pringles can, and asked that he be buried in one. His family agreed. 

Oprah Winfrey: Winfrey will apparently leave $30 million to her dogs. 

Bill Gates: The entire Gates fortune will not be left to his children, but his children will receive a small portion of $10 million. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Angela Lansbury (97), Tim Robbins (64), Suzanne Somers (76), Gary Kemp (63), Dominic West (53), Ncuti Gatwa (30), Steve Coogan (57), Sacha Baron Cohen (51), Christopher Judge (58), Himesh Patel (32), Chris Carter (66), Hugh Jackman (54), Hiroyuki Sanada (62), Josh Hutcherson (30), Robin Askwith (72), Emily Deschanel (46), Claudia Black (50), Michelle Trachtenberg (37), Joan Cusack (60), Jane Krakowski (54), Stephen Moyer (53), John Nettles (79), Dawn French (65), Rose McIver (34), Dan Stevens (40), Charles Dance (76), Manu Bennett (53), Sarah Lancashire (58), and Martin Kemp (61).

Dead Pool 9th October 2022

Lets start this weeks newsletter by dispensing some points! Congratulations go to Laura for correctly guessing Loretta Lynn, 60 points! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Convicted paedophile Rolf Harris is “gravely ill” with neck cancer and receiving around-the-clock care, the flying monkeys have reported. The disgraced entertainer is unable to eat and only receives medical professionals at home. Harris was jailed for sexual offences in 2014 and released three years later under licence. His victims included two girls in their early teens and his daughter’s friend. Harris, 92, is now reported to be suffering from ill health that requires 24-hour care. “Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go,” one of his Berkshire neighbours, Portia Wooderson,“I’m told he can’t eat anymore.” William Merritt, a private investigator who wrote a book on Harris’ trials, told the Flying Mokeys: “As far as his health goes, yes, he is very ill. But, Rolf keeps going. He’s still around but he’s not well at all.“ In 2019, two years after Harris was released from prison, reports suggested the convicted paedophile’s health had “declined rapidly”. Several years before, Harris was rushed to hospital in 2016 with suspected sepsis while serving his sentence at Stafford jail, which is specifically for men convicted of sex offences. He has not spoken in public since his release from prison. The 92-year-old was convicted of 12 indecent assaults spanning nearly two decades – 1968 to 1986 – at London’s Southwark Crown Court in 2014. One of these convictions was later quashed. He was stripped of his CBE – which he received after painting Queen Elizabeth II’s portrait – following his conviction.  

Necrophiliac murderer David Fuller, who sexually abused dead bodies in hospital mortuaries, has been charged with 16 further sexual offences. Fuller, 68, received two whole life sentences in December 2021 after admitting sexually assaulting at least 102 female corpses while working as an electrician in a hospital morgue. He filmed himself abusing the corpses, including a nine-year-old girl, two 16-year-olds, and a 100-year-old woman, over 12 years before his arrest in December 2020. He also beat and strangled Wendy Knell, 25, and Caroline Pierce, 20, to death before sexually assaulting them in two separate attacks in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, in 1987. The pensioner received the life sentences on December 15th 2021, after pleading guilty at Maidstone Crown Court to their murders, as well as 51 other offences, including 44 charges relating to 78 victims in mortuaries between 2008 and November 2020. His crimes first came to light after he was linked to one of Britain’s longest unsolved double killings more than 30 years ago. During the investigation, Fuller was linked to the 30-year cold cases by a DNA breakthrough that then led police to his stash of sickening recordings of himself abusing corpses. Now police have brought a further 16 charges against him in relation to sexual offences committed in a mortuary setting. Kent Police said on Tuesday: ‘An investigation by the Kent and Essex Serious Crime Directorate has led to evidence which relates to a total of 101 victims in these mortuary settings. ‘The latest charges are connected to the 23 remaining victims, of all whom were deceased adult females. They cover a period between 2007 and 2020.’ Fuller will appear via video link before Medway Magistrates’ Court on Thursday facing 12 charges of sexual penetration of a corpse and four charges in relation to possession of extreme pornography. Nice chap! 

On This Day

  • 1604 – Kepler’s Supernova is the most recent supernova to be observed within the Milky Way.
  • 1967 – A day after his capture, Ernesto “Che” Guevara is executed for attempting to incite a revolution in Bolivia.
  • 1981 – President François Mitterrand abolishes capital punishment in France.
  • 2012 – Pakistani Taliban attempt to assassinate outspoken schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai.


  • 1911 – Jack Daniel, American businessman, founded Jack Daniel’s (b. 1849)
  • 1967 – Che Guevara, Argentinian-Cuban physician, politician & guerrilla leader (b. 1928)
  • 1967 – Joseph Pilates, German-American fitness trainer, developed Pilates (b. 1883)
  • 1974 – Oskar Schindler, Czech-German businessman (b. 1908)
  • 1995 – Alec Douglas-Home, British politician, P.M. of the United Kingdom (b. 1903)
  • 2006 – Paul Hunter, English snooker player (b. 1978)
  • 2015 – Geoffrey Howe, Welsh lawyer and politician, Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1926)

Last Meals

John Henry Ramirez was executed this week, ten years after being convicted of murder, but unlike most death row inmates, he was not granted his final meal. The 38-year-old was killed by lethal injection at Huntsville State Penitentiary in Texas on Wednesday.

In 2009, he was sentenced to death for the murder of Pablo Castro, who he killed for just $1.25 during a violent robbery in 2004. 

Unfortunately for Ramirez he was unlucky enough to be charged in Texas, where Death Row inmates are no longer allowed to take part in the tradition since former prisoner Lawrence Russell Brewer, a white supremacist murderer, who was jailed alongside three other men for killing James Byrd Jr. by dragging him along behind a pick-up truck for three miles along a road. When his execution date came, he ordered a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, three fajitas, one pound of barbecue and a half loaf of white bread, pizza meat lover’s special, one pint of ‘homemade vanilla’ Blue Bell ice cream, one slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts and three root beers. However, when it was served to him, he didn’t eat a bite, saying he wasn’t hungry.

That led to Texas senator John Whitmire ending the 87-year-old tradition, ordering everyone on death row to eat what everyone else ate. 

One request Ramirez did get, however, was to have a priest present and praying at his execution. His wish was ultimately granted by the Supreme Court, who ruled that denying the killer a priest would be a violation of his rights under the First Amendment. 

Before the lethal injection was administered, Ramirez also spoke directly to Castro’s family.

“I just want to say to the family of Pablo Castro, I appreciate everything that y’all did to try and communicate with me through the Victim’s Advocacy program,” he said. “I tried to reply back, but there is nothing that I could have said or done that would have helped you. I have regret and remorse. This is such a heinous act. I hope this finds you comfort. If this helps you, then I am glad. I hope in some shape or form this helps you find closure.” 

He was pronounced dead at 6:41 p.m. CT, 14 minutes after the injection of pentobarbital began.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Guillermo del Toro (58), Scott Bakula (68), Chris O’Dowd (43), Brandon Routh (43), Tony Shalhoub (69), Brian Blessed (86), Sharon Osbourne (70), Sigourney Weaver (73), Matt Damon (52), Chevy Chase (79), Kristanna Loken (43), Paul Hogan (83), Ardal O’Hanlon (57), Karyn Parsons (56), Jesse Jackson (81), R.L. Stine (79), Bruno Mars (37), Shawn Ashmore (43), Aaron Ashmore (43), Tim Minchin (47), Simon Cowell (63), Vladimir Putin (70), Thom Yorke (54), Elisabeth Shue (59), Emily Mortimer (51), Ioan Gruffudd (49), Britt Ekland (80), Kate Winslet (47), Guy Pearce (55), Jesse Eisenberg (39), Karen Allen (71), Clive Barker (70), Diane Morgan (47), Glynis Johns (99), Stephanie Cole (81), Alicia Silverstone (46), Dakota Johnson (33), Susan Sarandon (76), Christoph Waltz (66), Melissa Benoist (34), Liev Schreiber (55), Sarah Lancashire (58), Nick Mohammed (42), Lena Headey (49), Alicia Vikander(34), Neve Campbell (49), Denis Villeneuve (55), Seann William Scott (46), Clive Owen (58), Tommy Lee (60), and Gwen Stefani (53).

Dead Pool 2nd October 2022

Last week we found out that The Queen died of old age, a very technical assessment there. I suspect the coroner had to use all of their training and experience to write that down on the report! However, the flying monkeys have worked their magic and found out that it was an overdose of marmalade and complications from the constant imbibing of gin. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Oasis guitarist Paul Arthurs – better known by his stage name Bonehead – has given fans a promising update on his cancer status after undergoing treatment in June. The musician – who had been playing as part of Liam Gallagher’s live band – was diagnosed with tonsil cancer earlier this year. In a new update, shared on Twitter on Thursday, Bonehead wrote: “I had a full scan 10 days ago and it’s all clear, it’s gone. Thank you so much all of you for the messages I’ve had throughout, you’ve helped more than you know,” he said, further thanking the team at The Christie NHS foundation. “Into recovery now and see you all soon,” he added. Gallagher celebrated the news, writing on Twitter: “Yes Bonehead, we knew you’d kick its arse. Sooooo fucking happy Guinness.” The good news comes shortly after his course of treatment in June, which included radiotherapy and chemotherapy sessions. At the time, he told fans: “I’m feeling the pain right now but I’m in recovery and things can only get better from here.” He had undergone the treatment at The Christie NHS Foundation Trust in Manchester. Bonehead was a founding member of Oasis. He announced he was leaving the group in 1999, during the recording of Oasis’s fourth album, Standing on the Shoulder of Giants, explaining that he wished to spend more time with his family. He continued to work with Liam Gallagher over the years, and had been scheduled to perform with him this summer.  

The Alarm frontman Mike Peters has confirmed that his cancer has returned in an emotional message to his fans. The musician made an announcement on the bands social media page last week. The rocker 63, suffers from chronic lymphocytic leukaemia – and has also been battling pneumonia since May. Sadly two weeks ago doctors confirmed that his leukaemia was “running out of control.” He has now been admitted to the North Wales Cancer Centre for immediate treatment, but so dedicated he is to his music that he even has his guitar with him on the hospital ward, in case inspiration strikes. In an emotional Facebook post, in which he thanked his wife Jules, who has also battled cancer in the past, the singer said: “I am writing today, to let you all know that my leukaemia (CLL), has relapsed and I have been admitted to The North Wales Cancer Centre for immediate treatment. I have already started on a brand new chemotherapy regime and so I wanted you to know personally, that my life living with cancer is about to change for the foreseeable future. My immediate aim is to get fit and well for The Gathering in January 2023. We’ve had so many of our greatest shows in Llandudno and celebrated many important milestones (including one of the most emotional nights ever in 2006), when I took to the stage in my green camo jacket and was overcome by the love and affection shown to me, by all present. I want you to know that I am going to beat this disease once more and be ready, willing and able to hit the stage at Venue Cymru on January 27th 2023.  

Bob Mortimer, 63, sparked concerns over the weekend after he was rushed to hospital with an unknown illness. The hospital dash comes after the comedian required triple heart bypass surgery in 2015 when his heart was stopped for 32 minutes. Now, Bob has broken his silence on his health woes as he admitted he is “not very healthy at the moment”. Speaking on Richard Herring’s podcast at the Leicester Square Theatre on Monday night, Bob revealed he was rushed to hospital on Saturday after a busy week. He said: “I am not very well. I am not very healthy at the moment. I did a show last week, a fishing show and there was only two and a half days filming. I did it Tuesday, Wednesday and half of Thursday and I was in hospital on the Saturday.” Bob added: “I am sorry I should not have said that should I? It’s a real downer.” As reported by the flying monkeys, Bob explained his theory that his health issues stemmed from his body ageing. He said: “I think because I was a smoker and an incredibly fast runner and a very dramatic dancer and I put that all in my younger years. I think I am about 10 years ahead of myself with my body ageing.” Bob explained he also suffers from rheumatoid arthritis – a long-term condition that causes pain, swelling and stiffness in the joints. He said: “In my mid-twenties I got struck down with rheumatoid arthritis. I just woke up and it was like, ‘bang’. I have been free of it since I have been 34 and it came back 10 days ago. It is really sad for me to know whether it will go. Yes I might be fat but actually I am on steroids. Rheumatoid arthritis generally happens when your immune system attacks your joints, but I’ve had it attack my iris. I got eye-arthritis. The worst one was arthritis in me b**s – I had that when we were filming Big Night Out!” Bob recounted. Bob also revealed that he “hardly” does any exercise because of his painful joints, despite recommendations by the Arthritis Foundation, who stated that “exercise helps ease the pain of rheumatoid arthritis”.

On This Day

  • 1928 – The “Prelature of the Holy Cross and the Work of God”, commonly known as Opus Dei, is founded.
  • 2004 – The first parkrun, then known as the Bushy Park Time Trial, takes place in Bushy Park, London, UK.
  • 2018 – The Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi is assassinated in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, Turkey.


  • 1803 – Samuel Adams, American politician, Governor of Massachusetts (b. 1722)
  • 1985 – Rock Hudson, American actor (b. 1925)
  • 1988 – Alec Issigonis, English car designer, designed the Mini (b. 1906)
  • 2017 – Tom Petty, American musician (b. 1950)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Lorraine Bracco (68), Avery Brooks (74), Sting (71), Brie Larson (33), Julie Andrews (87), Zach Galifianakis (53), Harry Hill (58), Ezra Miller (30), Monica Bellucci (58), Kieran Culkin (40), Marion Cotillard (47), Omid Djalili (57), Zachary Levi (42), Erika Eleniak (53), Ian McShane (80), Halsey (28), Mackenzie Crook (51), Luke Goss (54), Matt Goss (54), James Lance (47), Patricia Hodge (76), Naomi Watts (54), Mira Sorvino (55), Hilary Duff (35), Brigitte Bardot (88), Dita Von Teese (50), Kiran Shah (66), Indira Varma (49), Gwyneth Paltrow (50), Avril Lavigne (38), Linda Hamilton (66), Lysette Anthony (59), and Serena Williams (41).