Latest

Dead Pool 19th April 2026

Well, what do we have here?! Points!! With the passing of renowned zoologist Desmond Morris, I can award 52 points to myself, well done me! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

With the death of Valerie Lee Shepard, see above, we are now left with one surviving Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. Priscilla Montgomery Clark played a Munchkin child in The Wizard of Oz when she was nine years old. Now 96, she’s one of two surviving stars from the 1939 film. Along with Caren Marsh Doll — the oldest of the two at 107 years old (she just celebrated her birthday on April 6th, 2026). She served as Judy Garland’s stand-in and was notably the model for the iconic ruby slipper heel-clicking scene. Clark says by far she receives the most fan mail these days for her role as a Munchkin. For Oz, which experienced a deficit of female little people to portray Munchkins, Clark was one of a dozen talented young girls of typical height chosen from the Bud Murray Dance Studio in Los Angeles to fill out the cast of 124. The child actors worked on the set part of the day and were whisked away for their schooling the rest of the day. When the cameras rolled, some of the young girls were relegated to the background, however director Victor Fleming seemingly noticed Clark’s talent and infectious smile and placed her in key shots where she was clearly visible. “I never wanted to be an actress, I always loved dancing and that was a big part of my childhood,” says Clark. “I didn’t have an agent, but I was lucky to be cast in several films that miraculously have survived over time.” It’s not difficult to find her in the crowd, either: In the climax of the Munchkinland scene, when Glinda directs Dorothy to “follow the yellow brick road,” Clark can be seen next to the good witch briefly spiking the lens — a no-no in movie-making where the actor looks directly into the camera. “I never realised I did that until someone pointed it out many years later,” she admits. Today, Clark is a widow who struggles with a few health concerns but keeps a positive attitude and busy “surrounded by the love of my family.”  

Zayn Malik’s release day for his new album Konnakol didn’t exactly go as planned. The singer, 33, revealed that he’s on the mend from a mystery illness by sharing a photo from a hospital bed to his Instagram Stories last Friday, the same day as his album release. “To my fans – Thank you to all of you for your love & support now & always – been a long week and am still unexpectedly recovering,” he wrote atop the photo. “Heartbroken that I can’t see you all this week, I wouldn’t be in the place I am today without you guys and am so thankful for your understanding.” The “Die for Me” singer went on to thank his “incredible” hospital staff, including doctors, nurses, cardiologists and more. “You are all legends! Big big love xx z,” he wrote. Malik did not reveal a diagnosis or reason for his hospitalisation, and it remains unclear just how long he’s been hospitalised. A rep for Malik did not immediately return the Flying Monkeys request for comment. Malik is set to embark on his first solo headline arena tour later this year, which he’ll bring to North America starting in June and running through November. In announcing his new record, Malik described the title as “the act of creating percussive sounds with one’s voice but what it means to me lies somewhere much deeper.” Sounds… amazing?   

Social media influencer Clavicular has been rushed to hospital in Miami for a suspected overdose. No, none of the Flying Monkeys have heard of him either… The controversial streamer had been live-streaming on the site Kick on Tuesday when the broadcast suddenly ended. ‘Fans’ became concerned after video footage, appearing to show the influencer being carried into an ambulance by his security team, began circulating online. The ‘influencer’ confirmed on Wednesday that he had been released from hospital, writing on Twitter: “Just got home, that was brutal. All of the substances are just a cope trying to feel neurotypical while being in public, but obviously that isn’t a real solution. The worst part of tonight was my face descending from the life support mask.” He shared the statement alongside a photograph of himself with what appeared to be bloody marks on his face. During the livestream on Tuesday, Clavicular could be seen telling a woman: “Holy shit dude, I’m trying my best, but I’m fucking destroyed right now.” He then sat down in a bar with friends, with one asking him: “When did you last take blue?” as the influencer slumped over. The friend then asked if he wanted an “addy” – referring to the stimulant Adderall. The broadcast cut out shortly after that. Clavicular rose to fame within the manosphere circles as a so-called “looksmaxxer” – a viral trend where boys try to maximise their physical attractiveness. He’s become a popular figure among teenage boys, with Chloe Combi writing in The Independent that he has “a huge and growing Gen A boy following” thanks to his “belief that a young man’s highest priority is to be hot”. Personally I think he’s a cunt, and I will be listing him as a Maverick once James Corden turns 50! 

On This Day

  • 1927 – Mae West is sentenced to ten days in jail for obscenity for her play Sex.
  • 1943 – Albert Hofmann deliberately doses himself with LSD for the first time, three days after having discovered its effects on April 16th an event commonly known and celebrated as Bicycle Day. 
  • 1987 – The Simpsons first appear as a series of shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show, first starting with “Good Night“. 
  • 1993 – The 51-day FBI siege of the Branch Davidian building in Waco, Texas, US, ends when a fire breaks out. Seventy-six Davidians, including 18 children under age 10, died in the fire. 
  • 2021 – The Ingenuity helicopter becomes the first aircraft to achieve flight on another planet.

Deaths

  • 1824 – Lord Byron, English-Scottish poet and playwright (born 1788). 
  • 1881 – Benjamin Disraeli, English politician, Prime Minister of the U.K. (born 1804). 
  • 1882 – Charles Darwin, English biologist and theorist (born 1809).  
  • 1992 – Frankie Howerd, English actor and screenwriter (born 1917).  
  • 2004 – Norris McWhirter, English author co-founded the Guinness World Records (born 1925).

Last Week’s Birthdays

James Franco (48), Kate Hudson (47), Ashley Judd (58), Tim Curry (80), Hayden Christensen (45), Simu Liu (37), David Tennant (55), Rick Moranis (73), James Woods (79), Hayley Mills (80), Conan O’Brien (63), Jennifer Garner (54), Sean Bean (67), Rooney Mara (41), David Bradley (84), Anya Taylor-Joy (30), Sadie Sink (24), Ellen Barkin (72), Claire Foy (42), Emma Watson (36), Seth Rogen (44), Emma Thompson (67), Luke Evans (47), Maisie Williams (29), Sarah Michelle Gellar (49), Adrien Brody (53), Robert Carlyle (65), Anthony Michael Hall (58), Peter Capaldi (68), Peter Davison (75), Edward Fox (89), and Ron Perlman (76).

Dead Pool 12th April 2026

No  disrespect to any of this weeks ‘notable’ deaths, however, I’ve never heard of any of them. Some bit part actors, barely more than extras, a nut job and a couple of outdoorsy types. One of them doesn’t even have a proper Wiki Page, I just added him to bulk out this weeks edition. Unsurprisingly, no points to award… 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

GB News presenter Eamonn Holmes is “doing okay given the circumstances” after suffering a stroke, his eldest son Declan has confirmed. Declan Holmes added his father’s medical issue “came as a real shock”, and he thanked those who have sent messages of support, saying: “It means a lot to us as a family.” In a statement on Sunday, his son shared: “What happened came as a real shock, but dad is doing okay given the circumstances and we’re taking it one step at a time. I just wanted to share a quick message to say we hugely appreciate all the messages, it means a lot to us as a family. For now, we’re focused on him and keeping things steady around him. We’d really value a bit of privacy as we navigate it, and what lies ahead, but thank-you again for the support as it means so much to dad and the rest of the family.” GB News announced on Saturday that Holmes, 66, had suffered a stroke last week and was recovering in hospital. A spokesperson said Holmes “was taken ill last week and it was later confirmed he had suffered a stroke”. The statement added: “He is currently responding well to treatment. Eamonn has asked for privacy as he focuses on getting better. His colleagues and everyone at GB News wish him a speedy recovery and look forward to welcoming him back to the people’s channel when he is ready to return.” Alex Armstrong will present in his absence this week, the broadcaster added. Holmes, from Northern Ireland, who presents GB News Breakfast with his co-host Ellie Costello, is Britain’s longest-serving breakfast news presenter, with a career spanning more than 40 years. Holmes has long battled health issues after dislodging discs in his back which he said previously impinged on his sciatic nerve and affected the mobility of his right leg. He previously spoke about going through spinal surgery, a double hip replacement, and his struggles walking and using a mobility scooter. Holmes had two falls in May last year which seem to have taken place only weeks apart. The former This Morning host was taken to hospital after a first fall at his home, then fell from his chair live on-air. 

Hacks star Jean Smart has revealed she underwent a triple bypass heart procedure after experiencing chest pressure on set. Smart opened up about the heart procedure, confirming she underwent a triple bypass in 2023, a particularly frightening ordeal for her following the death of her husband, Richard Gilliland, from a heart condition. While filming a Season 3 episode of Hacks, Smart began experiencing pressure in her chest and fatigue, but she attributed it to a lack of exercise, she told the Flying Monkeys. “After several takes, I was like, ‘Did you get it? Was that enough?’ I was feeling a little tired. But I didn’t think anything of it,” Smart, 74, said. “I had gotten used to feeling a little pressure, like if I’d go up a couple of flights of stairs. But it would always just go away. And I would always think, ‘Jean, you’re in such crappy shape.’” Days passed with the Emmy winner still in discomfort. In the interview, she said the fear of leaving her 17-year-old son Forrest and 36-year-old son Connor without either of their parents was motivation to see a doctor. “I thought, ‘You haven’t seen your cardiologist in a long time. Don’t be stupid. Your kids just lost their dad!’” Smart thought she may just need a stress test – which detects how the heart functions during physical stress – but when her doctor returned her phone call, the physician urged her to go to the emergency room. She was in the middle of filming a scene at the time, so she waited until after the shoot to have her driver take her to the hospital. “It was so stressful. Her children had just lost their father, and I think she didn’t want to scare them, so they weren’t there,” Smart consulted three heart surgeons before undergoing the triple bypass. The fear set in after the procedure. “I wasn’t really scared until I woke up the next day, and I’m thinking about what they had to do. You start to feel so fragile,” she said. 

On This Day

  • 1606 – The Union Flag is adopted as the flag of English and Scottish ships. 
  • 1945 – U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office; Vice President Harry S. Truman becomes President upon Roosevelt’s death. 
  • 1961 – The Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space and perform the first crewed orbital flight on Vostok 1. 
  • 1981 – The first launch of a Space Shuttle (Columbia) takes place: The STS-1 mission.

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Claire Danes (47), Saoirse Ronan (32), Ed O’Neill (80), Milly Alcock (26), Jeremy Clarkson (66), Matt Ryan (45), David Harbour (51), Charlie Hunnam (46), Daisy Ridley (34), Haley Joel Osment (38), Steven Seagal (74), Peter MacNicol (72), Elle Fanning (28), Dennis Quaid (72), Kristen Stewart (36), Cynthia Nixon (60), Patricia Arquette (58), Robin Wright (60), Katee Sackhoff (46), Dean Norris (63), Russell Crowe (62), Jackie Chan (72), Francis Ford Coppola (87), Paul Rudd (57), Zach Braff (51), Michael Rooker (71), John Ratzenberger (79), Gina Yashere (52), and Billy Dee Williams (89).

Dead Pool 5th April 2026

A quiet week for celebrity deaths, its almost like they’ve all gone on holiday! Unsurprisingly, no points to dish out, but we can all cross our fingers in hope that the White House will blow up with the GoP and the Trump family in attendance. I may have marked myself for assassination…. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

The world’s oldest known tortoise, Jonathan, is still alive, contrary to a widely circulated social media post which has been revealed as a hoax. An account on Twitter that had purported to belong to Joe Hollins, a vet who has previously cared for Jonathan, posted that it was “heartbroken to share” that the tortoise had died on the island of St Helena at an estimated age of 193. Media outlets including the BBC, USA Today and Daily Mail published news reports about the post. “Jonathan the tortoise is very much alive,” Hollins has since told USA Today. “I believe the person purporting to be me is asking for crypto donations, so it’s not even an April Fool joke. It’s a con. To confirm – Jonathan is very much alive”, Nigel Phillips, the governor of St Helena, told the BBC via email. Jonathan’s exact age is unknown, but a photograph taken in 1882 shows that he was fully grown when he was first brought to the island – where he lived on the grounds of Plantation House, the official residence of the Governor of St Helena. Experts say this suggests he was about 50 years old by that time. Jonathan has lived through the reigns of at least eight British monarchs and met both George VI and the future Elizabeth II during their visit to the island in 1947. The giant tortoise was presented with a Guinness World Record certificate recognising him as the oldest known land animal in the world. 

An undertaker was accidentally crushed to death by a faulty coffin-lifting machine at a funeral parlour, an inquest has concluded. Sally Blundell, 58, was found trapped beneath the scissor lift of a mortuary trolley after it unexpectedly descended at a branch of the East of England Co-op Funeral Services in Swaffham, Norfolk. Ms Blundell had been working alone at the branch on 1st December 2023 when the incident occurred. The grandmother’s body was discovered after a member of the public reported that no staff were present for an 11am appointment to see a deceased relative. She tried to call the celebrant she had been dealing with and a message was passed to another branch, with a colleague from the Dereham branch attending and finding Ms Blundell dead. Jurors at the Norwich inquest returned a conclusion of accidental death. They recorded that Ms Blundell was last seen on CCTV at the funeral parlour at 9.46am and found dead at 12.06pm. The inquest was earlier told that there are no CCTV cameras in sensitive areas of the funeral parlour, where bodies are kept. Norfolk area coroner Yvonne Blake said that it was unclear why Ms Blundell had “inserted herself” in the device’s frame, though her glasses were found on the floor nearby. The medical cause of death for Ms Blundell, of Great Cressingham, was recorded as “contusion and compression of the chest by an external object”. Ms Blake told jurors that expert evidence presented to the inquest indicated a fault with the hydraulic scissor lift mortuary trolley. She said the fault was that the trolley “descended unexpectedly”. The East of England Co-op confirmed through barrister Dominic Kay that the chain no longer uses this specific type of trolley.  

Australian soap star Alea O’Shea is undergoing treatment for brain cancer. A GoFundMe page launched on Thursday for the 25-year-old “Home and Away” alum revealed that she recently underwent surgery for her diagnosis, which she publicly disclosed in November. “Over the past months, Alea has been bravely facing brain cancer and the many treatments that come with it,” the fundraiser’s description read. The page, which O’Shea’s friends started with her permission “after months of persuasion,” said her cancer journey “has been incredibly challenging” for the actress and her family. “Like many families navigating serious illness, they have discovered that a number of essential cancer treatments, therapy and procedures are not covered by private health insurance, creating a significant and ongoing financial burden.” The description stated that O’Shea has been helping other women facing cancer by starting her own fundraiser “to allow other young women without the funds to purchase high-quality wigs and feel good about themselves. Her generosity of spirit in the midst of such a difficult time has moved so many of us,” O’Shea’s friends shared. The page asked people to donate to “help ease the financial pressure of medical treatments and related expenses” in O’Shea’s cancer battle. The GoFundMe has raised over $82,700 from more than 600 donors as of Monday morning. O’Shea, starred as Darcy Callahan on Home and Away from 2011 to 2014 and again from 2016 to 2017.

On This Day

  • 1951 – Cold War: Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union.
  • 1974 – Carrie, the first novel by author Stephen King, is published for the first time with a print run of 30,000 copies.
  • 1999 – Two Libyans suspected of bringing down Pan Am Flight 103 in 1988 are handed over for eventual trial in the Netherlands.

Deaths

  • 1923 – George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon, English archaeologist (born 1866).
  • 1964 – Douglas MacArthur, American general (born 1880).
  • 1976 – Howard Hughes, American pilot, engineer, and director (born 1905).
  • 1994 – Kurt Cobain, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (born 1967).
  • 2006 – Gene Pitney, American singer-songwriter (born 1940).
  • 2008 – Charlton Heston, American actor, director, and political activist (born 1923).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Warren Beatty (89), John Astin (96), Céline Dion (58), Eric Clapton (81), Ewan McGregor (55), Christopher Walken (83), Daniel Mays (48), William Daniels (99), Annette O’Toole (74), Mackenzie Davis (39), Asa Butterfield (29), Ali MacGraw (87), Jesse Plemons (38), Pedro Pascal (51), Michael Fassbender (49), Emma Myers (24), Linda Hunt (81), Eddie Murphy 65), Alec Baldwin (68), Paris Jackson (28), Robert Downey Jr. (61), Hugo Weaving (66), Natasha Lyonne (47), Graham Norton (63), Lily James (37), Hayley Atwell (44), and Mitch Pileggi (74). 

Dead Pool 29th March 2026

A few familiar faces among the dead this week, no points though, so perhaps the Flying Monkeys need to be released….  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Perez Hilton has revealed the mystery illness that sent him to the hospital for three weeks. On Monday, the 47-year-old blogger took to social media to share the news with his fans. ‘My stupidity landed me in the hospital for 21 days… It was the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to me,’ he began. Perez said he had the flu for a week and took his medication, but did not take the medication with food. ‘Because I have been taking all of this medication without food for a week, I developed an ulcer then a perforation and then Sepsis. People die of Sepsis.’ He also said he had intense stomach pain then could not walk causing him to have to be taken to the emergency room by ambulance. Hilton thanked the hospital that took care of him as he added he had ultrasounds before they could figure out the problem. ‘Finally after five days I ended up having laparoscopic surgery,’ he added. He also said the infection was very serious and he had fluid in his lungs which led to another major procedure. At that point he developed a heart problem. But the surgery was complicated as he developed another infection in the hospital, which he said was common. The star broke down in tears several times as he detailed he had many accidents after he started eating food following weeks on a feeding tube. And the worst part was a tube that was placed in him to suck up the infection and a Foley catheter. ‘That was intense,’ he added, as he said he lost ‘a lot of weight.’ ‘Now that I am home, I am not 100 percent,’ he also shared as he showed a pick line into his arm. ‘It’s like a scary IV with two lines, and one goes to my heart.’  

Barry Manilow is officially cancer-free months after revealing his diagnosis. “You just don’t even think about how fragile life is. And suddenly, you have lung cancer. But I’m still here,” Manilow, 82, told the Flying Monkeys on Tuesday, while detailing his health battle and recovery. He continued: “I’m still here. I’m not all here, there’s part of me that isn’t here,  they took out a part of me, and now I’ve got to figure out, ‘What do I do?’” Manilow originally announced in December 2025 that he was diagnosed with lung cancer and needed to undergo surgery to remove “a cancerous spot” on his left lung. He elaborated on Tuesday about how having an MRI for a separate issue with his hips led to his cancer being discovered. “If he hadn’t done that, man,” he said. “That doctor saved my life, because there’s no symptoms for what I had. I could go on, nothing hurt but they found the dot in my lung. They called me and said, ‘Could be cancer.’ That’s a bad word. ‘Not me. Fuck you. I can’t have cancer.’” Manilow recalled the moment he was told he had Stage I Lung Cancer. “They don’t even know how long I had this thing sitting on me. It could have been years,” he continued. “If it had gone any further, then I would be up shit’s creek. It just so happened that it hadn’t spread, and boy, oh boy, I thought I might be dying.” After his lobectomy, a procedure which removed part of his lung, Manilow spent seven days in the ICU. “I don’t remember it, thank goodness, because it was a nightmare,” Manilow shared of his hospital stay. “I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t have to have chemo, radiation and all that stuff.” Manilow was forced to postpone concert dates while on the mend, noting that the experience has “really rocked him.” “But I’m getting stronger. It has really, really made me take stock of my life. This made me stop and think about: Have I done what I wanted to do, and have I made people happy? Have I been a good friend?” he concluded. “All of those cornball things that I’ve read for all of my life, I started to think about that, too. It really did stop me in my tracks. And the answers are yes. And as a matter of fact, there are more yeses than I ever thought.”  

Princess Michael of Kent, 81, is “bedridden” after suffering a stroke, according to the Flying Monkeys. Princess Michael, who is married to Prince Michael of Kent, a first cousin of the late Queen Elizabeth, has dealt with a number of health issues in recent years. After undergoing heart surgery in 2023, she broke both of her wrists in a fall down the stairs of her home at Kensington Palace. She was carrying an armful of overcoats at the time when the accident happened. Luckily, she fell into the coats, but broke multiple small bones. About her fall, she previously stated: “So many things that you rely on being able to do, like cleaning your teeth, are impossible.” “I can type with one finger on a mobile, but I can’t use a laptop. I am told that, after an accident like this, if you do one wrong movement on top of the unhealed bones, you are back where you started.” It’s been a difficult few years for the family, Princess Michael’s son-in-law, Thomas Kingston, took his own life at the age of 45 in February 2024. He died from a “catastrophic head injury” and a gun was found near his body at his parents’ home in the Cotswolds.

On This Day

  • 1968 – The funeral of Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, started in Moscow, with thousands of people in attendance. 
  • 1974 – Terracotta Army was discovered in Shaanxi province, China.
  • 2014 – The first same-sex marriages in England and Wales are performed.
  • 2017 – Prime Minister Theresa May invokes Article 50 of the Treaty on European Union, formally beginning the United Kingdom’s withdrawal from the European Union.

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Brendan Gleeson (71), Lucy Lawless (58), Ed Skrein (43), Christopher Lambert (69), Marina Sirtis (71), Thaddea Graham (29), Eric Idle (83), Elle Macpherson (62), Nick Frost (54), Vince Vaughn (56), Julia Stiles (45), Dianne Wiest (78), Lady Gaga (40), Chris Barrie (66), Quentin Tarantino (63), Nathan Fillion (55), Julian Glover (91), Mariah Carey (57), Keira Knightley (41), Jennifer Grey (66), Martin Short (76), Jess Bush (34), Diana Ross (82), Lee Pace (47), Sarah Jessica Parker (61), Richard O’Brien (84), Elton John (79), Jessica Chastain (49), Alyson Hannigan (52), Tig Notaro (55), Jim Parsons (53), Lara Flynn Boyle (56), Kelly LeBrock 66), Michelle Monaghan (50), Amanda Plummer (69), and Joanna Page (49).

Dead Pool 22nd March 2026

What a week it’s been, and what a week to be alive, which is more than can be said for the people listed below. Meanwhile, somewhere in the cosmos, God is presumably checking his insurance policy now that Chuck Norris has apparently decided to make things personal. The smart money, as always, is on Chuck. But the real hero of the week? Step forward Dave, who has waltzed off with 53 points by plucking Len Deighton from the dusty corner of his Waiting Room. Len Deighton. Not your obvious answer. Not your safe answer. A choice that required either extraordinary foresight or an extremely specific magazine collection. Either way, Dave, the points are yours and the rest of us can only stare at our own picks and quietly question our life choices. Well done that man. Well done indeed.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

In news that has prompted an outpouring of absolutely zero public sympathy, Gary Glitter, the man who spent decades demanding we remember his name, is apparently finding that prison life at 81 isn’t quite the glamorous rock and roll lifestyle he once enjoyed. Glitter, born Paul Francis Gadd, is currently residing at HMP Channings Wood in Devon, where he is serving a 16-year sentence for abusing three schoolgirls. He is reportedly deaf, can barely move, and is largely unrecognisable, which, given the circumstances, one might argue is the least the universe could do. A source has revealed that fellow inmates and prison officers believe he is “on his last legs, with his body giving up.” We shall pause here to allow the world’s smallest violin to finish its performance. Remarkably, and one must admire the consistency here, Glitter is apparently regarded by fellow prisoners as “arrogant,” which is a quite extraordinary achievement in a wing full of people who are themselves not exactly pillars of the community. He must be working very hard at that. For his own safety, Glitter is kept on a Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and spends up to 23 hours a day in his cell, which does raise the philosophical question of whether a man who spent years destroying the childhoods of others is perhaps not owed a great deal of sympathy about his recreational time. Lest we forget the greatest act of his post-prison career: upon being released in February 2023, having only served eight years, Glitter managed to last precisely six weeks before using a mobile phone to access footage of young girls on the dark web from a bail hostel. Six weeks. The man couldn’t even make it to half time. He was promptly returned to prison, where he has since been refused parole not once but twice, in February 2024 and again in June 2025. The Parole Board, displaying what might be described as a firm grasp of the obvious, noted that their decisions are “solely focused on what risk a prisoner could represent to the public if released.” Given that Glitter used his first six weeks of freedom to immediately violate his parole conditions in the most predictable way imaginable, one can only admire the Board’s gift for understatement. He is, the source assures us, spending his days in considerable discomfort, largely ignored, and universally disliked even by the people locked up alongside him. Rock and roll! 

The Only Way Is Essex star Jordan Brook, 31, revealed he’s been diagnosed with both viral meningitis and encephalitis. He insisted to his followers to not listen to rumours online, as he’s caught wind of speculation on his health as he spoke in the video shared on his Instagram page. Jordan, who is expecting his first child with Sophie Kasaei, remains in hospital and is receiving round-the-clock care and is being monitored for seizures. He spoke out sharing details around his current health battle in a candid video from his hospital bed. He is seen sat up in his hospital bed in the clip as he begins: “This is the first time I’ve really been able to speak strong enough about what’s going on. There’s been a lot of speculations as to why I’m here and what’ going on and there’s a few comments and people saying things that this is my diagnosis that I got yesterday. I’ve been diagnosed with not one but two joining viruses that are attacking a similar part of my body. I have got viral meningitis and encephalitis together. That’s the inflammation of the brain and the lining around it.” He added: “So this isn’t something small or minor.” According to the NHS, Meningitis “is an infection of the protective membranes that surround the brain and spinal cord (meninges).” However, it can be very serious if not treated quickly as meningitis can cause life-threatening sepsis and result in “permanent damage to the brain or nerves”. Meanwhile, the NHS states that encephalitis “is an uncommon but serious condition in which the brain becomes inflamed”. The condition can be life-threatening and requires urgent treatment in hospital. Jordan continued to explain the extensive tests he’s had as he said: “I had CT scans, MRI scans, lumbar punctures. With round-the-clock care since I’ve been in this hospital. I’m on IV drips, everything antiviral, pain management, physio, seizure monitoring, to minor seizure risk at the minute. But unfortunately the swelling on my brain is getting worse. It’s really, really tough. Even the simple day-to-day activities and normal things that aren’t easy right now so this is what I’m dealing with day-today. I’m on day 11 of treatment and I’d like to reach out to everyone and say just be careful what you read online and be conscious of some things that people are writing. Commenting this isn’t like a joke or people are writing that I’m a lot worse than I am and there’s big C-words being dropped and things like that – it isn’t that – but there’s swelling on my brain it’s really bad they’ve upped my meds, my steroids to try and get the swelling down. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be in hospital. My focus right now is simple I need to get healthy. My Sophie’s been amazing and she’s growing my precious baby boy. I just want to be a young, healthy dad, home for my family, with my baby – that’s the goal. This won’t beat me. I will get out of this,” he added before sharing thanks for support he’s received. “Thank you to all my family and my friends, everyone’s messages that have been coming through and keep the support going.”   

In what can only be described as the most shocking non-event of the century, the self-proclaimed peak of human physical perfection, Donald J. Trump, who once assured us all he could do press-ups until the cows came home, was spotted yesterday performing the Herculean feat of walking down some stairs. Badly. The footage shows America’s self-declared healthiest president gripping the Air Force One railing like it personally owes him money, descending at the kind of pace that would have a sloth checking its watch. The internet, naturally, lost its mind, not because it was surprising, but because we’ve all been watching this slow-motion car crash for years and nobody in a position of power will acknowledge the windscreen is missing. This is, lest we forget, the same man who had his personal doctor declare him the healthiest human being to ever occupy the Oval Office. The same man who threw a tantrum every time anyone suggested his cognitive or physical health deserved even a cursory glance. “Nobody is even close!” he boasted, which makes the white-knuckle stair descent all the more spectacular to witness. A separate video from the day before showed Trump gripping a table with both hands just to lower himself into a chair, his face contorting in what supporters will insist was steely presidential determination and absolutely nothing else whatsoever. The man who mocked Hillary Clinton for having pneumonia. The man who made Joe Biden’s age a cornerstone of his entire campaign. That man. Gripping furniture to sit down. Commenters online were, shall we say, not entirely sympathetic. “It’s time to come clean about his health,” wrote one optimist who still believes honesty is something this administration is capable of. Others were somewhat more direct in their assessments, though we shall draw a tasteful veil over those. His defenders, ever reliable, rushed to point out that walking carefully down stairs is completely normal and that everyone grips railings sometimes and that short clips can be misleading, all observations that were notably absent from their vocabulary between 2020 and 2024 when a different elderly president was the subject of such scrutiny. Trump will reportedly spend the weekend in Florida, returning to Washington next week, presumably via elevator, golf cart, or whatever mode of transport requires the least navigating of steps. His schedule, we are told, remains unchanged, because acknowledging anything would require a level of transparency that this particular administration treats as a communicable disease. The healthiest president. By far. Nobody even close.

On This Day

  • 1312 – Vox in excelso: Pope Clement V dissolves the Order of the Knights Templar.
  • 1933   – Nazi Germany opens its first concentration camp, Dachau.
  • 1960 – Arthur Leonard Schawlow and Charles Hard Townes receive the first patent for a laser. 
  • 1963 – The Beatles release their debut album Please Please Me.
  • 1972 – In Eisenstadt v. Baird, the United States Supreme Court decides that unmarried persons have the right to possess contraceptives. 
  • 1978 – Karl Wallenda of The Flying Wallendas dies after falling off a tight-rope suspended between two hotels in San Juan, Puerto Rico. 
  • 1995 – Cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov returns to earth after setting a record of 438 days in space. 
  • 2024 – At least 145 people are killed and 551 injured in a bombing and mass shooting at the Crocus City Hall in Krasnogorsk, Russia.

Deaths

  • 1144 – William of Norwich, child murder victim.
  • 1978 – Karl Wallenda, German-American acrobat and tightrope walker (born 1905).
  • 2001 – William Hanna, American animator, director, producer, and voice actor, co-founded Hanna-Barbera (born 1910).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Reese Witherspoon (50), William Shatner (95), Matthew Modine (67), Lena Olin (71), Carter Wong (79), Gary Oldman (68), Matthew Broderick (64), Timothy Dalton (80), Scott Eastwood (40), Rhys Darby (52), Sonequa Martin-Green (41), Rosie O’Donnell (64), Holly Hunter (68), David Thewlis (63), Ruby Rose (40), John de Lancie (78), Theresa Russell (69), Freema Agyeman (47), Bruce Willis (71), Glenn Close (79), Ursula Andress (90), Harvey Weinstein (74), Brad Dourif (76), Queen Latifah (56), Kurt Russell (75), Rob Lowe (62), Morfydd Clark (37), Gary Sinise (71), John Boyega (34), Patrick Duffy (77), Alexandra Daddario (40), Alan Tudyk (55), Jerome Flynn (63), Erik Estrada (77), Jimmy Nail (72), and Aisling Bea (42).