Dead Pool 31st March 2013
Good afternoon one and all, welcome to another amazingly witty and stupendous edition of the Dead Pool. As you may already know, Richard Griffiths passed away last week, his was the only name amongst a vast horde of names that I believe anyone would know. I for one appreciated his role in Withnail and I, gave me the creeps and made me laugh at the same time. Unfortunately none of you sick bastards had him on your lists, even though you could see the strain on his heart increasing with each pie he ate and each film he appeared in. Let this be a lesson to you all, less pies, more wine, pay attention to portly celebrities as there are points to be had!
Look who you could have had:
- Don Payne, 48, American television writer (The Simpsons), bone cancer.
- Giancarlo Martini, 65, Italian Formula One driver, co-founder and co-owner of Team Minardi.
- Sir Michael Gow, 88, British Army general.
- Soraya Jiménez, 35, Mexican Olympic champion weightlifter, heart attack.
- Richard Griffiths, 65, British actor (Withnail and I, The History Boys, Harry Potter), complications after heart surgery.
In other news
Sorry, I have to mention Nelson Mandela again, his poor health has promptly put him back into hospital once more. His recurring lung problems seem to be giving him some trouble, pneumonia this time, but if we believe the media, and I’m not one to take their word, he’s doing well and actually breathing without assistance! Go Mandela! Breathe the shit out of that free oxygen! It can’t be long now, surely most of us will get the points windfall this year.
Those of you who favour world leaders, or in this case despot, should keep the North Korean leader in your sights. With the declaration of war between N.Korea and the rest of the universe it’s not going to be long until someone makes a tiny mistake. Pictured here, “Comical Kim”, the subject of many a food meme, was photographed examining a US mainland strike plan on Saturday. Someone ought to tell the fat little shit that Twinkies surviving a nuke is only a myth.
Our utterly useless musical friend, Justin Bieber has found himself in hot water again. He’s currently trying to ‘sing’ in Germany, but unfortunately customs and excise found him to be travelling with a monkey. The Germans confiscated his new pet and refused to allow him to bring it into the country. Who said Germans have no sense of humour? What they should have done is confiscate Bieber and let the monkey sing, I’d have turned up to see that!
2013 League Table
Next Week peeps!