Dead Pool 10th March 2024

Another pointless week flies by, and because my brain doesn’t seem to be engaged today, I have failed miserably to come up with some Bullseye quips, so I’ll just leave that up to you! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Michael McIntyre has shared a health update after being forced to cancel a comedy show following an emergency operation. The British comedian, who was one of the most-watched TV stars over Christmas 2023, was set to perform at Southhampton’s Mayflower Theatre on Monday, but had to call it off due to the procedure. Days after the host of BBC game show The Wheel pulled out of playing Plymouth Pavilions due to “illness”, an announcement informed ticket owners that Monday’s show would be rescheduled. A statement shared by the comedy star’s team on Sunday revealed that McIntyre is currently “unable to perform” after having “an operation to remove kidney stones”. The announcement read: “We regret to inform customers that Michael McIntyre will be unable to perform on Monday 4th March at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. Unfortunately, Michael has had an operation to remove kidney stones. The show will be rescheduled to a later date which will be announced shortly. Tickets will remain valid for the new date. If you are unable to make the new date you will be entitled to a refund. We are very sorry for any inconvenience caused.” McIntyre’s fans shared well wishes to the comedian, with many who themselves have previously had kidney stones posting particular sympathy for what he must be enduring. On Thursday, the comedian’s team issued an update on McIntyre’s health, announcing his return to stage. “Michael McIntyre has had successful surgery to remove kidney stones and is recovering well,” a post shared on his official social media pages read. “He has been medically cleared to perform in Nottingham on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and is very excited to get back on stage.”  

Adult film star Emily Willis is in a coma after being admitted to hospital early last month, with Willis’ family telling fans to brace for the worst. Her father, Michael Willis told the Flying Monkeys that she is currently on a ventilator to assist with her breathing. Emily went into cardiac arrest whilst in rehab. It was previously reported that the cardiac arrest occurred as a result of an apparent overdose, but Michael has since shared that Emily’s toxicology report came back negative. Michael added that before entering rehab she was eating very little, telling the Flying Monkeys that she weighed only 80 pounds when she checked herself in. However, it is currently unknown whether this was influential in her health crisis. Emily was determined to get healthy and seek help for her substance abuse problem, her father added. A GoFundMe was recently set up by her family to support Emily with long-term care, at the time of writing it has managed to raise $47,162 out of a $600,000 target. In an update posted to GoFundMe on March 8, her family said they, “have been by her side as she slowly tries to recover. “We want to express our gratitude to those who have donated, and please know that your generosity will greatly aid in Emily’s ongoing recovery process.” Speaking of Emily’s career they wrote her “professional career was separate from her family life. “She retired from the adult industry nearly two years ago and had aspirations of success in other fields of entertainment. Those who worked with her in her new career path knew she had the potential to achieve her dreams.”  

Del Amitri singer Justin Currie, who has revealed he has Parkinson’s disease, has spoken about the “grim” prospect of having to stop performing. The 59-year-old Scot said he had always imagined he would still be playing “in a pub at the age of 80”. But he said the disease had shown him that “you think you’re invulnerable until something proves you’re not”. Speaking on the Flying Monkeys, Currie said: “I can’t play the way I would expect to.” He added: “I know it will get worse. At what rate, nobody knows. So I know I’m going to have to stop. The idea is quite grim.” The Glasgow-born singer said Parkinson’s had already changed his personality “in not necessarily negative ways”. He said: “With any form of disability, you become aware of disability in general, and you become acutely aware of that line that disabled people have been saying for years – that there aren’t able-bodied people, there are just a lot of people who are not yet disabled. So I quite like that. I quite like the idea that we’re all going to go through some of these difficulties at some point in life.” Del Amitri had hits in the 1980’s and 90’s with songs including Kiss This Thing Goodbye, Nothing Ever Happens and Always The Last to Know. After a 12-year hiatus, the band reformed in 2014. Currie said the illness had affected both his ability to play the guitar and his voice and he has had to “relearn” how to sing some parts of the band’s hits. He said: “That ridiculous cliche, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, that’s not true. If you lose a leg you are not strong. And I am not stronger for having Parkinson’s, believe you me.” 

On This Day

  • 1876 – The first successful test of a telephone is made by Alexander Graham Bell.
  • 1933 – The Long Beach earthquake affects the Greater Los Angeles Area, leaving around 108 people dead.
  • 1945 – World War II: The U.S. Army Air Force firebombs Tokyo, the resulting conflagration kills more than 100,000 people, mostly civilians.


  • 1913 – Harriet Tubman, American nurse and activist (b. c.1820). 
  • 1942 – Wilbur Scoville, American pharmacist and chemist (b. 1865).
  • 1988 – Andy Gibb, Australian singer-songwriter and actor (b. 1958).
  • 1998 – Lloyd Bridges, American actor and director (b. 1913).
  • 2005 – Dave Allen, Irish-English comedian, actor, and screenwriter (b. 1936).
  • 2010 – Corey Haim, Canadian actor (b. 1971).

Deadly Ride

In the weird and wonderful history of horse racing, Frank Hayes holds a unique place.

On June 4, 1923 at New York’s Belmont Park, the 22-year-old won the only race of his career on the horse Sweet Kiss.

He also became the only man to ever win a race despite being dead.

Hayes, a stable hand turned stand-in jockey, achieved the unthinkable and rode the 20-1 shot to a surprise victory over fan favourite Gimme. While that in itself shocked the crowd, what was to come would be even more shocking. After Hayes crossed the finish line, he tumbled from the saddle. Reports at the time said track doctor John A. Voorhees rushed over to examine Hayes but pronounced him dead immediately and said he had suffered a heart attack. 

“The grim reaper paid a sensational visit to the Belmont Park track yesterday,” wrote the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. “The exertion and excitement proved too great,” said the New York’s Daily News, which also described Hayes as “well-liked … favourite in the saddling room and stable and took a great pride in his calling.”

It’s believed Sweet Kiss never raced again. In fact, lore says it earned the nickname “Sweet Kiss of Death.” According to Keeneland Library, the years for which it had race statistics for the horse, Sweet Kiss won a total of $1775 in earnings. 

More than 95 years later, and it’s still not clear when exactly Hayes died. “Our documentation for Hayes is limited,” Roda Ferraro, head librarian at Keeneland Library, told Flying Monkeys. “The fact that we have a photograph of Hayes on Sweet Kiss mid-jump that day is pretty incredible as the photographers of that period for which we are the repository of record did not specialise in steeplechase coverage.”

The Guinness World Records claims the jockey died during the actual race. “Despite his sudden death, Hayes somehow remained in the saddle long enough for the 20-1 long shot to jump the final fence and cross the finish line in first place,” it says.

There were conflicting reports at the time surrounding the cause of the jockey’s death. While some said it may have been from the excitement of the race, other reports pointed to heart failure as a result of having to reduce his weight to 130 pounds.

“He was confronted with the task of taking off nearly 10 pounds in 24 hours,” the Buffalo Morning Express wrote. “This morning he spent several hours on the road, jogging off surplus weight. He strove and sweated and denied himself water and when he climbed into the saddle at post time he was weak and tired.”

A week later, Hayes was buried in the same riding silks he wore during his first win – which was also his last.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Olivia Wilde (40), Jon Hamm (53), Sharon Stone (66), Chuck Norris (84), Juliette Binoche (60), Oscar Isaac (45), Cynthia Rothrock (67), Bryan Cranston (68), Jenna Fischer (50), Rachel Weisz (54), Alan Davies (58), Shaquille O’Neal (52), Eva Mendes (50), Jolene Blalock (49), Matt Lucas (50), Jake Lloyd (35), Paul Blackthorne (55), Fred Williamson (86), Penn Jillette (69), Catherine O’Hara (70), Patsy Kensit (56), and Dominique Pinon (69).

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