Dead Pool 26th April 2026

Sorry, this one ran away with me, loads to read, but no points this week.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

Dave Mason, 79, English musician (Traffic) and songwriter (“Hole in My Shoe“, “Feelin’ Alright?“).
Lize van der Walt, 60, South African television personality (Gladiators – Gold), cancer.
Alan Osmond, 76, American musician (The Osmonds) and songwriter (“Down by the Lazy River“, “Crazy Horses“).
Elsie Kelly, 89, English actress (Benidorm, The Famous Five, Crossroads).
Darrell Sheets, 67, American reality television personality (Storage Wars), suicide by gunshot.
Rif Hutton, 73, American actor (Doogie Howser, M.D., JAG, General Hospital), brain cancer

In Other News

Trump has sadly survived another assassination attempt. Gunshots rang out inside the Washington Hilton shortly after 8:30pm Saturday evening, prompting scenes of panic as Secret Service agents rushed the president and other Cabinet officials out of the ballroom, while others took cover beneath tables. A male assailant shot and injured one law enforcement officer, before being detained near the hotel screening area, officials said. The man in custody has been identified as Cole Tomas Allen, a 31-year-old from Torrance, California. Following the incident, the annual black-tie dinner was canceled. Trump then hosted a press conference at the White House where he applauded law enforcement for their swift response. Still dressed in his tuxedo from the dinner, Trump called the assailant a “thug” and a “lone wolf,” while Justice Department officials said the suspect has been charged with firearms and assault charges. Apparently, those in charge are looking for a motive for the assassination attempt, as the rest of the world shakes their head in disbelief that the guy failed to pop one into the fascist. Trump has now survived THREE assassination attempts, including two high-profile incidents during his 2024 campaign. In July 2024, he was shot and wounded in the ear during a rally in Pennsylvania, an attack that shocked the nation. Just months later, another armed individual was intercepted near Trump’s golf course in Florida in what authorities confirmed as a planned assassination attempt.Security experts say the frequency of such incidents is unprecedented in modern U.S. history. While several American presidents have faced threats, the number of direct attempts targeting Trump places him among the most frequently targeted leaders in the country’s history.

One of Spain’s top bullfighters has been left seriously injured after being gored in the arsehole. Jose Antonio Morante Camacho suffered the horrific injury after he collided with the raging animal at an event in Seville on Sunday. Dubbed the “king of the bullfighters”, Camacho sustained a “very serious” injury when the bull’s horn perforated his rectum. The 46-year-old was competing with the fourth bull of the afternoon at La Maestranza bullring as part of popular April celebrations. According to reports, Camacho was trying to control the bull which had positioned itself in a notoriously treacherous spot in the arena. Camacho attempted a daring manoeuvre but failed to raise his arms in time, leaving him exposed. The bull charged at him, catching him at hip level and driving its horn into his rusty sheriffs badge. Camacho instantly dropped to the floor as he reached for his arse in agony. Moments later, he was carried out of the ring by fellow giggling bullfighters. Camacho was then rushed to a nearby hospital and placed under general anaesthetic for an emergency two-hour surgery. Doctors confirmed he had suffered a devastating internal injury, with the bull’s horn penetrating his balloon knot. The medical report said: “It’s a bull horn wound on the posterior anal margin with a trajectory of about 10cm, partially damaging the anal sphincter muscles with a perforation of the posterior wall of the rectum of 1.5cm The intervention consisted of washing the wound, repairing the rectal wall and the sphincter apparatus, leaving a suction drain in the post-anal and retro-rectal space.” Camacho now remains under close observation while his condition has been described as “very serious”. This is not the first time tragedy has struck one of Spain‘s leading matadors. Earlier this month, a retired bullfighter was gored to death as he prepared for a sold-out show. Ricardo Ortiz, 51, was attacked as he helped handle several raging beasts inside their enclosures.

A millionaire big-game hunter was tragically trampled to death by a herd of five enraged elephants deep within the African jungle. Armed with a shotgun and tracking a rare species of antelope, Ernie Dosio, 75, was killed after stumbling across the animals in dense vegetation in Gabon. The carcass collector had been moving through thick undergrowth with a professional hunter when the pair unknowingly walked into the herd. The animals were said to be so well hidden that it was like they appeared “as if from nowhere”. The startled beasts then charged at the pair without warning. Dosio was horrifically trampled under the weight of the herd as his companion was hurled to the side. A retired game hunter who knew Dosio said: “Whilst in the forest Ernie and his PH (professional hunter) surprised five forest elephant cows with young and feeling under threat the elephants immediately attacked them. The professional hunter was attacked first and seriously injured losing his rifle which was knocked from him and lost in the undergrowth leaving Ernie with his shotgun. I would rather not go into details but it is safe to assume it would have been quick.” Safari company Collect Africa confirmed their client died after encountering the herd in central Gabon. Dosio’s body is now being repatriated to his home in California by the US embassy. Hopefully they’ll stuff him and put him on display.

New Zealand Parkrunner Colin Thorne made international headlines when he became the oldest Parkrunner in history to join the 100 Club at the age of 98. Sadly he has just passed away at 102 years of age. Colin first joined the parkrun family in January 2017, already in his early nineties, quietly showing the world that it is never too late to begin something extraordinary. Over the next nine years, he completed an incredible 265 Parkruns across 21 locations and volunteered 16 times, proof not only of his commitment, but of his belief that Parkrun is about community as much as it is about movement. To see Colin at Parkrun was to be reminded of what really matters. He greeted everyone with that cheeky smile, a dry sense of humour, and a genuine warmth that made first-timers and regulars alike feel instantly welcome. He listened, he encouraged, and he inspired, often without needing to say very much at all. What made Colin truly special wasn’t just his age, remarkable though that was. It was his perseverance. Week after week, year after year, Colin kept showing up, determined to keep Parkrunning for as long as he possibly could. Even at 102, he embodied the very best of parkrun: turning up, doing what you can, and doing it with heart. Running had been part of Colin’s life long before parkrun. He took it up at 64, went on to complete numerous marathons and half marathons, and even ran the New York Marathon at the age of 89, a feat few of us could imagine at any age. Yet despite these astonishing achievements, Colin always wore his success lightly, choosing kindness and connection over accolades. Colin touched the lives of Parkrunners throughout New Zealand and far beyond. His story travelled, but his impact was deeply personal. He showed us that ageing does not have to mean slowing your spirit, that perseverance can be joyful, and that community is built one smile, one step, one Saturday morning at a time.

Colombian professional cyclist Cristian Camilo Muñoz, a former teammate of Tadej Pogačar at UAE Team Emirates, has died in hospital, just six days after suffering a serious knee injury in a crash at the Tour du Jura. The 30-year-old, racing for the NU Colombia team, was treated in hospital after crashing out of the French one-day race on Saturday. According to the Flying Monkeys, Muñoz required 20 stitches to one of his knees, before leaving the hospital on Sunday night. He then joined up with his teammates in Spain for the Vuelta Asturias, which began in Oviedo on Thursday. However, the 30-year-old – a former winner of a stage at the U23 Giro d’Italia – began to feel unwell on Tuesday and was taken to another hospital in Valladolid, hours after posting a video birthday message to his wife on Instagram. There, his condition deteriorated and he underwent surgery, before being placed in an induced coma. Tragically, he failed to respond to treatment and he passed away on Friday, his team confirmed. According to reports in Spain, doctors at the hospital have indicated that the cause of Muñoz’s death was a hospital-acquired infection. His NU Colombia squad have withdrawn from the Vuelta Asturias as a mark of respect, while a minute’s silence was held before today’s second stage, where black ribbons were placed by officials on race vehicles.

On This Day

1865 – Union cavalry troopers corner and shoot dead John Wilkes Booth, assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, in Virginia.
1986 – The Chernobyl disaster occurs in the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic.
1989 – The deadliest known tornado strikes Central Bangladesh, killing upwards of 1,300, injuring 12,000, and leaving as many as 80,000 homeless.

Deaths

1970 – Gypsy Rose Lee, American actress, striptease dancer, and writer (born 1911).
1976 – Sid James, South African-English actor (born 1913).
1989 – Lucille Ball, American model, actress, comedian, and producer (born 1911).
1999 – Jill Dando, English journalist and television personality (born 1961).
2017 – Jonathan Demme, American filmmaker, producer and screenwriter (born 1944).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Channing Tatum (46), Tom Welling (49), Pablo Schreiber (48), Stana Katic (48), Giancarlo Esposito (68), Kevin James (61), Jet Li (63), Karim Diane (24), Melania Trump (56), Joan Chen (65), Al Pacino (86), Gina Torres (58), Renée Zellweger (57), Hank Azaria (62), Jack Quaid (34), Aidan Gillen (58), Shirley MacLaine (92), Djimon Hounsou (62), Rory McCann (57), Barbra Streisand (84), John Cena (49), Dev Patel (36), John Hannah (64), Lee Majors (87), Gemma Whelan (45), John Oliver (49), Jack Nicholson (89), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (60), Amber Heard (40), Sheryl Lee (59), Michelle Ryan (42), James McAvoy (47), Andie MacDowell (68), Toby Stephens (57), Rob Riggle (56), Tony Danza (75), Iggy Pop (79), Andy Serkis (62), Veronica Cartwright (77), Jessica Lange (77), Clint Howard (67), Carmen Electra (54), George Takei (89), and Nicholas Lyndhurst (65).