They say self praise is no praise, however I’ve managed to write a bumper edition of the newsletter when fuck all seems to be happening in the world of celebrity deaths. Fair play to me! In fairness, this year is turning out to be a bit of a washout, scoring has been low and barely anyone of notable fame has passed away. Let’s hope the latter third of the year delivers something better. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Hamza bin Laden, 29–30, Saudi jihadist (al-Qaeda).  
• Ian Gibbons, 67, English keyboardist (The Kinks), bladder cancer.  
• D. A. Pennebaker, 94, American documentary filmmaker (Dont Look Back, Monterey Pop, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars). 
• Nikolai Kardashev, 87, Russian astrophysicist and SETI pioneer, known for the Kardashev scale of extraterrestrial civilisations. 
• Joe Longthorne, 64, English singer and impersonator (Live from…), throat cancer.

 In Other News

Michael Schumacher watched last weekend’s German Grand Prix alongside former Ferrari team boss Jean Todt, the FIA president has revealed, and he is still “fighting” to recover from the serious head injuries he suffered in a skiing accident six-five-and-a-half years ago. The seven-time Formula One world champion struck his head on a rock in a skiing accident in December 2013 while skiing with his son Mick in the Meribel resort. Schumacher received emergency treatment at Grenoble Hospital before being transferred to Switzerland’s University Hospital in Lausanne, and returned to the family home in Geneva in September 2014 where a state-of-the-art clinic had been installed to continue his treatment. Updates on Schumacher’s condition have been sparse, with his family keen to keep the matter private unless they feel it necessary to let the public know about his recovery. But a number of the German’s friends from the motorsport world make numerous visits to see him, with current FIA president and former Ferrari team principal Todt one of his most frequent guests. Speaking to Radio Monte-Carlo this week, Todt revealed that he was at the family home over the weekend to join Schumacher in watching Sunday’s Grand Prix at Hockenheim. “I’m always careful with such statements, but it’s true. I saw the race together with Michael Schumacher at his home in Switzerland,” Todt said. He added that the 50-year-old is making “good progress”. “Michael is in the best hands and is well looked after in his house. “He does not give up and keeps fighting.” Little is known about what condition Schumacher is in, though Todt did say that is saddens him that they cannot share the same relationship that they had while together at Ferrari for their trophy-laden partnership that brought five drivers’ championships and six constructors’ championships. “His family is fighting just as much and of course our friendship cannot be the same as it once was,” Todt added. “Just because there’s no longer the same communication as before. Schumacher’s lawyer confirmed in 2016 that he “cannot walk” after the family took legal action against a German publication for saying otherwise, and Todt was keen to honour their desire for privacy by not revealing any details on his current condition.  

Amanda Barrie is best known for playing Alma Sedgwick in Coronation Street, a role she played on and off for 20 years. But one thing fans of the star may not know about her is the potentially life-threatening allergy she lives with. The 83 year old actress “blew up like a balloon” one night as part of an allergic response to anaphylaxis. Her throat became swollen and she struggled to breathe until medics gave her powerful antihistamines to counteract the extreme reaction. “It was really terrifying”. But what is most frightening about the actress’ ordeal is she didn’t know what triggered her anaphylaxis. Amanda has had a couple of extreme allergic reactions since her first ordeal, which occurred September 1998 – the night of Diana, Princess of Wales’ funeral. But none have been as serious as the first episode. She now carries an Epipen with her at all times in case of emergency.  

Home And Away star Ray Meagher had to be hospitalised for emergency heart surgery this week. The actor, who plays Alf Stewart on the Australian soap, had to undergo a triple bypass after doctors discovered three serious blockages during a routine health check. The 75-year-old is reportedly feeling “very very lucky” that the blockages were found in time. He and his wife have had to cancel their planned winter trip to Queensland so he can recover at home in Sydney. The Melbourne Herald Sun reports that a simple stent procedure should have been enough to keep Ray’s heart ticking along but “the extent of the coronary calcification meant he was scheduled for open heart surgery the next day”. Ray sparked worries about his health when he announced he would be scaling back his role on Home and Away earlier this year. He told This Morning: “Over the last 10-20 years, each Christmas I come over to Britain to do a pantomime, and more recently I went over twice to do Priscilla Queen Of The Desert in the West End. “Once was a six month stint, another a run of four months in that same show. “If you average my time out over the last 10-15 years, I probably average 40 weeks a year. “From now on, on a new contract, I’ll probably work 35-36 weeks of the year. So it’s just taking a tiny bit more time out, but I ain’t going nowhere.” 

On This Day

• 1693 – Date traditionally ascribed to Dom Perignon‘s invention of champagne; it is not clear whether he actually invented champagne, however he has been credited as an innovator who developed the techniques used to perfect sparkling wine.
• 1783 – Mount Asama erupts in Japan, killing about 1,400 people. The eruption causes a famine, which results in an additional 20,000 deaths.
• 1944 – The Holocaust: A tip from a Dutch informer leads the Gestapo to a sealed-off area in an Amsterdam warehouse, where they find and arrest Jewish diarist Anne Frank, her family, and four others.

Deaths

• 1875 – Hans Christian Andersen, Danish novelist, short story writer, and poet (b. 1805)
• 1962 – Marilyn Monroe, American model and actress (b. 1926)
• 1997 – Jeanne Calment, French super-centenarian; holds records for the world’s substantiated longest-lived person (b. 1875)

Last Meals

Otto Adolf Eichmann was a senior Assault Unit Leader in the Nazi SS Obersturmbannführer and one of the major organisers of The Holocaust. He was tasked with facilitating and managing the logistics involved in the mass deportation of Jews to the extermination camps during WWII. At the end of the war, Eichmann was captured by US forces and spent time in several camps for SS officers. Following his trial, Eichmann was convicted on 15 counts of crimes against humanity, war crimes, crimes against the Jewish people, and membership in a criminal organisation. The judges declared him not guilty of personally killing anyone and not guilty of overseeing and controlling the activities of the Einsatzgruppen. He was deemed responsible for the dreadful conditions on board the deportation trains and for obtaining Jews to fill those  trains.  In addition to being found guilty of crimes against Jews, he was convicted for crimes against Poles, Slovenes and Gypsies. When considering the sentence, the judges concluded that Eichmann had not merely been following orders, but believed in the Nazi cause wholeheartedly and had been a key perpetrator of the genocide. For his last meal, Eichmann’s final request was a bottle of Carmel, an Israeli red wine; which you can still buy from Ocado for £10.95. He drank about half of the bottle, which seems a bit of a waste to me. Eichmann was hanged at a prison in Ramla hours later. His last words were reported to be:

Long live Germany. Long live Argentina. Long live Austria. These are the three countries with which I have been most connected and which I will not forget. I greet my wife, my family and my friends. I am ready. We’ll meet again soon, as is the fate of all men. I die believing in God.

Rafi Eitan, who accompanied Eichmann to the hanging, claimed in 2014 to have heard him later mumble “I hope that all of you will follow me”, making those his final words.  Within hours Eichmann’s body had been cremated, and his ashes scattered in the Mediterranean Sea, outside Israeli territorial waters, by an Israeli Navy patrol boat.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Evangeline Lilly (39), Stephen Graham (45), Martin Sheen (78), John Landis (68), Mamie Gummer (35), John C. McGinley (59), Steven Berkoff (81), Edward Furlong (41), Kevin Smith (48), Sam Worthington (42), Jason Momoa (40), Wesley Snipes (57), Michael Biehn (63), Emilia Fox (45), Dean Cain (53), J.K. Rowling (54), Christopher Nolan (49), Arnold Schwarzenegger (72), Hilary Swank (45), Lisa Kudrow (56), Jean Reno (71), Laurence Fishburne (58), Frances de la Tour (75), Paul Anka (78), Wil Wheaton (47), David Warner (78), and Elizabeth Berkley (47).

Another pointless week, sadly marked by the passing of Rutger Hauer. Although many of you have seen him in Blade Runner, my personal favourite of his was Salute of the Jugger, but most if his 80’s films were awesome! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Rutger Hauer, 75, Dutch actor (Blade Runner, Nighthawks, The Hitcher).
• Li Peng, 90, Chinese politician, Premier (1987–1998), Vice Premier (1983–1987). Known as the “Butcher of Beijing” for his role in the Tiananmen Square massacre.  
• Maxim Dadashev, 28, Russian boxer, head injuries sustained in match.  
• Carl Mattsson, 111, Swedish supercentenarian, oldest person in the Nordic countries.  
• Jimmy Patton, 87, British comedian (Patton Brothers, ChuckleVision), cancer.  
• Russi Taylor, 75, American voice actress (Disney’s House of Mouse, The Simpsons, DuckTales).

In Other News

Comedian and broadcaster Sir Michael Palin is to have surgery to fix a “leaky valve” in his heart. The Monty Python member discovered a problem with his mitral valve – a small flap that stops blood flowing the wrong way around the heart – five years ago. It had not affected his general fitness until earlier this year, he said. “Recently, though, I have felt my heart having to work harder and have been advised it’s time to have the valve repaired,” he wrote on his website. “I shall be undergoing surgery in September and should be back to normal, or rather better than normal, within three months.” According to the NHS, a leaking mitral valve – known as mitral regurgitation – can cause dizziness, breathlessness, tiredness and chest pain, and can potentially lead to an irregular and fast heartbeat, high blood pressure and heart failure. The 76-year-old has cancelled a book tour scheduled for October to promote his North Korea Journal, a spin-off from his recent Channel 5 documentary about the country. 

Wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein was found semi-conscious in his prison cell on Thursday, US media reports say. The 66-year-old, who is awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges, was reportedly found sprawled on the floor with injuries to his neck on Wednesday. The cause is unclear – neither suicide attempt nor assault has been ruled out. He has been at the New York facility since being denied bail last week. Epstein has pleaded not guilty to sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. The US Bureau of Prisons issued a statement saying that Epstein was, as of noon local time (16:00 GMT), at New York’s Metropolitan Correctional Centre and “not in a local hospital as has been reported”. But it was not clear if he had been treated for injuries either at a hospital or the prison, with officials saying “we do not share information on an inmate’s medical status or their conditions of confinement”. He was taken to a nearby hospital in Manhattan, reports say, but his condition has not been made public. Investigators are working to establish what happened.  According to the indictment, the financier is accused of paying girls under the age of 18 to perform sex acts at his Manhattan and Florida mansions between 2002 and 2005. 

Finally, because Nickie is obsessed with it, I’m bringing back the Last Meals section. A few longtime subscribers might remember a few of these from back in the day, so forgive me if I’m repeating myself. 

We’ll start with John Wayne Gacy (1942 –1994). He was an American serial killer who raped, tortured and murdered at least 33 teenage boys and young men between 1972 and 1978 in Cook County, Illinois. All of Gacy’s known murders were committed inside his Norwood Park ranch house. His victims were typically induced to his address by force or deception, and all except one of his victims were murdered by asphyxiation or strangulation with a makeshift garrotte, his first victim was stabbed to death. Gacy buried 26 of his victims in the crawl space of his home. Three other victims were buried elsewhere on his property, while the bodies of his last four known victims were discarded in the Des Plaines River. Gacy became known as the “Killer Clown” because of his charitable services at fund-raising events, parades, and children’s parties where he would dress as “Pogo the Clown” or “Patches the Clown”, characters that he had created. Popular rumour suggests that Ronald McDonald was retired due to Gacy’s actions and that many horror clown stories are based on him. For his last meal, Gacy requested 12  fried shrimp, a bucket of original recipe KFC, french fries, and a pound of strawberries. His final statement to his lawyer before his execution was that killing him would not compensate for the loss of others, and that the state was murdering him. His final spoken words were “Kiss my ass”. One fun fact, prior to being convicted, Gacy managed three KFC outlets. Nom Nom! 

On This Day

• 1540 – Thomas Cromwell is executed at the order of Henry VIII of England on charges of treason. Henry marries his fifth wife, Catherine Howard, on the same day.
• 1976 – The Tangshan earthquake measuring between 7.8 and 8.2 moment magnitude flattens Tangshan in the People’s Republic of China, killing 242,769 and injuring 164,851.
• 2005 – The Provisional Irish Republican Army calls an end to its thirty-year-long armed campaign in Northern Ireland.

Deaths

• 1540 – Thomas Cromwell, English lawyer and politician, Chancellor of the Exchequer (b. 1495)
• 1655 – Cyrano de Bergerac, French poet and playwright (b. 1619)
• 1741 – Antonio Vivaldi, Italian violinist and composer (b. 1678)
• 1750 – Johann Sebastian Bach, German organist and composer (b. 1685)
• 2004 – Francis Crick, English biologist and biophysicist, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1916)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (48), Taylor Schilling (34), Donnie Yen (55), Jason Statham (52), Kate Beckinsale (46), Sandra Bullock (55), Kevin Spacey (60), Helen Mirren (74), Nana Visitor (62), Eve Myles (41), Mick Jagger (76), Roger Taylor (70), Matt LeBlanc (52), Iman (64), Elisabeth Moss (37), Jennifer Lopez (50), Summer Glau (38), Anna Paquin (37), Lynda Carter (68), Danny Dyer (42), Daniel Radcliffe (30), Woody Harrelson (58), Charisma Carpenter (49), Ronny Cox (81), Slash (54), Willem Dafoe (64), Rhys Ifans (52), Selena Gomez (27), Terence Stamp (81), Danny Glover (73), Louise Fletcher (85), Ross Kemp (55), John Woodvine (90), and Paloma Faith (38).

Yup, we’re really struggling to find anyone you’ve ever heard of this week!   

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Craig Fallon, 36, British judoka, world champion (2005).  
• Marc Batchelor, 49, South African footballer (Kaizer Chiefs, Orlando Pirates), shot.  
• Karl Shiels, 47, Irish actor (Fair City, Into the Badlands, Henry IV, Part 1).  
• Pernell Whitaker, 55, American boxer, four-weight world champion, Olympic champion (1984), traffic collision.  
• Richard Carter, 65, Australian actor (Mad Max: Fury Road, The Great Gatsby, Rafferty’s Rules).

In Other News

Hong Kong actor Simon Yam has been stabbed while speaking at an event in southern China. According to his manager, Lester Mo Gee-man, Yam was stabbed in the stomach but police say his injuries are not life-threatening. The 64-year-old actor is currently undergoing “a minor operation” at a hospital in Zhongshan city. “He was stabbed in his stomach and slashed on his arm, but was conscious the entire time,” Lester Mo Gee-man told the South China Morning Post. He added: “A preliminary investigation showed his injuries were not critical but the doctors are still deciding whether to operate on him”. Yam has appeared in more than 125 movies and 40 television series.  His most high-profile Hollywood role came in 2003 Hollywood sequel Lara Croft: Tomb Raider -The Cradle of Life. Yam was attending the opening of new shop in Zhongshan in the southern province of Guangdong on Saturday when a man rushed the stage and attacked Yam. Two videos have surfaced on Weibo, China’s version of Twitter. One shows Yam clutching his stomach after the attack. A suspect has been detained, but a motive remains unclear.   

Labour MP Emily Thornberry was taken to hospital after coming off her bicycle in an accident outside Parliament. The shadow foreign secretary was involved in a collision with a vehicle in Parliament Square, Westminster, outside the House of Commons on Friday. The Islington South and Finsbury MP was taken to hospital in an ambulance. spokesperson for Ms Thornberry said she had now been discharged and was “hugely grateful” for the support of the paramedics and A&E staff. “She will be back to work and back on her bike as soon as possible,” the spokesperson added. Looks like she’s not that good at cycling, so we should really keep an eye on her.  

A man choked to death on a piece of meat about five months after his brother died in exactly the same way. An inquest has been opened into the death of Selwyn Francis, 68, who choked on food at a restaurant in Flintshire and died in hospital two days later. He died a day after an inquest heard his brother Gwyn Francis had died after choking on a piece of steak at a pub. Their brother Kenneth Francis had said he and his two brothers ate quickly without chewing their food properly. Kenneth Francis told the inquest into Gwyn’s death that Selwyn had choked on a piece of steak at the same pub 18 months earlier but the obstruction had been cleared by someone performing the Heimlich manoeuvre. “I said it should be a warning to us all,” Kenneth Francis had told the earlier inquest. Let’s hope that Kenneth chews his food from now on. 

On This Day

• 356 BC – The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, is destroyed by arson.
• 1865 – In the market square of Springfield, Missouri, Wild Bill Hickok shoots and kills Davis Tutt in what is regarded as the first western showdown.
• 1969 – At 02:56 UTC, astronaut Neil Armstrong becomes the first person to walk on the Moon.
• 1972 – The Troubles: Bloody Friday: The Provisional IRA detonate 22 bombs in central Belfast in the space of 80 minutes, killing nine and injuring 130.
• 1983 – The world’s lowest temperature in an inhabited location is recorded at Vostok Station, Antarctica at −89.2 °C (−128.6 °F).
• 2001 – At the conclusion of a fireworks display on Okura Beach in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan, 11 people are killed and more than 120 are injured when a pedestrian footbridge connecting the beach to JR Asagiri Station becomes overcrowded and people leaving the event fall down in a domino effect.

Deaths

• •1796 – Robert Burns, Scottish poet and songwriter (b. 1759)
• •1967 – Basil Rathbone, South African-American actor and singer (b. 1892)
• •1998 – Alan Shepard, American admiral, pilot, and astronaut (b. 1923)
• •2004 – Jerry Goldsmith, American composer and conductor (b. 1929)
• •2015 – E. L. Doctorow, American novelist, short story writer, and playwright (b. 1931)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Diana Rigg (80), John Francis Daley (33), Gisele Bündchen (38), Benedict Cumberbatch (43), Jared Padalecki (37), Brian May (72), Kristen Bell (39), Vin Diesel (52), Priyanka Chopra (37), Alex Winter (54), Donald Sutherland (84), David Hasselhoff (67), Konnie Huq (44), Phoebe Cates (56), Will Ferrell (52), Corey Feldman (48), Travis Fimmel (40), Diane Kruger (43), Brigitte Nielsen (56), Forest Whitaker (58), Celia Imrie (67), Jesse Ventura (68), Linda Ronstadt (73), Phoebe Waller-Bridge (34), Jackie Earle Haley (58), David Mitchell (45), and Kyle Gass (59).

Apologies for the late issue, life had to take precedence this week. However, a shorter than usual edition for you to read, even though we’ve had quite a spate of deaths over the last week. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Freddie Jones, 91, British actor (Emmerdale, The Ghosts of Motley Hall, Dune).  
• Arthur Ryan, 83, Irish clothier, founder and chairman of Primark.
• Ross Perot, 89, American billionaire businessman, philanthropist and presidential candidate, founder of Electronic Data Systems and the Reform Party, leukemia.  
• Rip Torn, 88, American actor (Cross Creek, The Larry Sanders Show, Men in Black), Emmy winner (1996).  
• Denise Nickerson, 62, American actress (Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Dark Shadows, Smile), seizure. 
• Albert Shepherd, 82, British actor (The Anniversary, Charlie Bubbles, Before Winter Comes, Crossroads).  
• Brendan Grace, 68, Irish comedian (Moondance, Father Ted) and singer, lung cancer.

In Other News

Sting has cancelled multiple European concert dates due to a mystery illness. The 67-year-old singer announced the news on Twitter on Tuesday just hours after revealing he couldn’t play his upcoming Munich concert under “doctor’s orders”. Taking to social media, the former The Police frontman apologised for “disappointing” any excited fans.  “It is with great regret that Sting’s concerts previously scheduled for Thursday, Jul 11 at Jazzopen in Stuttgart, Germany and Friday, July 12 at the Castle Garden in Slavkov u Brna, Czech Republic will be cancelled,” a statement on his Twitter read. “As reported earlier this week, Sting is under the weather and under doctor’s orders, was forced to also cancel concerts in Ghent, Belgium (Monday July 8) and Munich, Germany (Wednesday, July 10). “Sting sincerely regrets disappointing or causing any inconvenience to the fans.” he post added that fans could obtain refunds for their tickets on his website. Fans are currently none the wiser about the nature of the singer’s health issues. It comes after Sting was also forced to cancel a concert with Jamaican singer Shaggy back in 2018 due to medical reasons.  

Nell Gifford, co-founder of Giffords Circus, has revealed the sad news that she has a year to live. Giffords Circus, based at Fennells Farm in Lypiatt, is a Stroud institution, with many families returning year upon year for each new show. Nell, the creative visionary behind the circus, and also one of its glamorous performers, shared her cancer prognosis in an interview with the Evening Standard yesterday. “I have a poor outlook,” she said. “I’ve been diagnosed with a year to live and things like that and I can hardly remember the feeling of being without cancer. But I’m having loads of treatment under an incredible oncologist, ducking and diving through the NHS and private system.” Nell has kept her nine-year-old twins Red and Cecil fully informed about what’s going on. She said the circus ‘has become a lifeline’. “It always has been. It’s a support system, I’m the happiest I am here on the show. It probably props me up more than I prop it up. In the most calamitous times it’s been what I’ve turned to and what’s contained me and where I’ve felt safe. It’s the community, being by the horses; knowing you have your tribe; it’s cool.” Nell was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago and has now been told the disease has spread to her bones and lymph nodes. Last month she was advised she would need more chemotherapy and since then has been dividing her time between hospital and her circus. Nell created the circus with her former husband, Toti Gifford, in 2000. Since then, it has been at the centre of her life and brought joy to thousands of people. Low-fi and vintage in feel, Giffords is now famed for its magical performances. 

On This Day

• 1789 – French Revolution: Citizens of Paris storm the Bastille.  
• 1865 – First ascent of the Matterhorn by Edward Whymper and party, four of whom die on the descent.  
• 1881 – Billy the Kid is shot and killed by Pat Garrett outside Fort Sumner.  
• 1992 – 386BSD is released by Lynne Jolitz and William Jolitz beginning the Open Source operating system revolution. Linus Torvalds releases his Linux soon afterwards.  
• 2002 – French President Jacques Chirac escapes an assassination attempt unscathed during Bastille Day celebrations.

Deaths

• 1881 – Billy the Kid, American criminal (b. 1859)  
• 1998 – Richard McDonald, American businessman, co-founded McDonald’s (b. 1909)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Harrison Ford (77), Patrick Stewart (79), Ken Jeong (50), Michael Mando (38), Topher Grace (41), Michelle Rodriguez (41), Anna Friel (42), Cheryl Ladd (68), Tamsin Greig (53), Bill Cosby (82), Stephen Lang (67), Mark Lester (61), Lil’ Kim (45), Caroline Quentin (59), Craig Charles (55), Chiwetel Ejiofor (42), Sofía Vergara (47), Peter Serafinowicz (47), Jessica Simpson (39), John Simm (49), Tom Hanks (63), Richard Roundtree (77), Kelly McGillis (62), Fred Savage (43), Scott Grimes (48), Brian Dennehy (81), Linda Park (41), O.J. Simpson (72), Courtney Love  (55), Richard Wilson (83), Jack White (44),  Kevin Bacon (61), Anjelica Huston (68), Jaden Smith (21), Billy Crudup (51), Jeffrey Tambor (75), Jack Whitehall (31), Shelley Duvall (70), and Ringo Starr (79).

After three earthquakes in California, you’d have expected a few celebrities on today’s list, however, the best we can muster is John McCririck and Vinny Jones’ wife. Luckily to fill the gap we have a guest post from Neil G. plus we have to award some points to Paul C. 71 well earned points for the aforementioned John McCririck!  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Glyn Houston, 93, Welsh actor (Doctor Who).
• Mr. Two Bits, 97, American cheerleader (University of Florida).
• Christopher Booker, 81, British journalist (The Sunday Telegraph, Private Eye).
• John McCririck, 79, British horse racing journalist. 
• Cameron Boyce, 20, American actor (Jessie, Gamer’s Guide to Pretty Much Everything, Descendants), seizure.

In Other News

Stevie Wonder will have a kidney transplant later this year, he has announced. The singer told the crowd about his medical condition as he finished his set at British Summer Time Hyde Park. He said he had found a donor and would perform three more shows before the operation in September, saying: “I’m all good, I’m all good.” Fans greeted the news with a loud, supportive cheer, applauding the 69-year-old singer as he left the stage. He had just finished playing the song Superstition when he told the crowd he wanted to prevent “rumours” spreading about his health. “I’m all good, I’m all good, all good, I have a donor and it’s all good,” he said. “I want you to know, I came here to give you my love and thank you for your love. I love you and God bless you.”     

BBC newsreader Kate Williams has revealed she has a rare form of cancer. Williams, who works for BBC Radio 5 Live, said she was diagnosed with cystic peritoneal mesothelioma in 2017. Following surgery later that year, she said her first annual scan showed no evidence of disease, although there was a chance of reoccurrence. She was only aware of three others in the UK who have the cancer, which affects the abdominal cavity. Williams, who is married with two children, said: “If you look at the medical literature, they often quote 153 cases in the world. “And in the UK I know of three other people, mainly through a Facebook group that I joined. “If you look at mesothelioma it’s not a nice one to look at. It’s very aggressive, malignant, quite often caused by asbestos.” Having a rare disease was “really lonely”, she said. “It’s also quite traumatic because every time [I see a new doctor] I have to explain it,” she added. Describing her course of surgery, she said: “It’s called MOAS – mother of all surgeries. “They took out the cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, greater omentum, lesser omentum, pelvic peritoneum, another bit of my peritoneum.” She added: “I keep saying I’m lucky or it wasn’t too bad – my surgery was only about six hours. Williams said she still had problems with her bowels and stomach as well as weak bones following the surgery and will continue to have annual scans for the foreseeable future – although her first scan in November showed no evidence of disease.  

A ‘relieved’ Chris Froome says he will be following the Tour de France from bed after returning home to start his recovery from the crash which left him seriously injured. Froome, 34, broke his neck, femur, elbow, hip and ribs in the accident on 12th June. “It’s a huge disappointment not to be at the Tour but I’m relieved to finally be out of hospital and home,” he said. Froome hit a wall at 54km/h when he took a hand off his handlebars to blow his nose during a practice ride before stage four of the Criterium du Dauphine in Roanne, France. He would have been chasing a record-equalling fifth victory in the Tour, which starts in Brussels on Saturday. 

On This Day

• 1928 – Sliced bread is sold for the first time (on the inventor’s 48th birthday) by the Chillicothe Baking Company of Chillicothe, Missouri.
• 1954 – Elvis Presley makes his radio debut when WHBQ Memphis played his first recording for Sun Records, “That’s All Right”.
• 1992 – The New York Court of Appeals rules that women have the same right as men to go topless in public.
• 2005 – A series of four explosions occurs on London’s transport system, killing 56 people, including four suicide bombers, and injuring over 700 others.

Deaths

• 1307 – Edward I, king of England (b. 1239)
• 1930 – Arthur Conan Doyle, British writer (b. 1859)
• 1973 – Veronica Lake, American actress (b. 1922)

Tales From The Darkside by Neil G.

A cheesy title for the following ramblings, I know – but what else would you call an article for the masterpiece of macabre that is “The Dead Pool”?

I could hardly have called it “The Wistful Musings from the Meadow of My Memories – A List of Those Whom I Wish Dead”.

To be fair though I do think about death a lot, particularly on or around December the 31^st when I realise I’ve done no actual research into my Dead Pool list for the following year and it’s due in just a few hours.

I often ponder how I might die, in fact just the other day my father imparted to me recently what I would be receiving as my inheritance, “High cholesterol, dodgy prostate and a stamp collection”. Which of that trio might get me first is anyone’s guess but at this point the stamp collection is the clear favourite.

I mean I’m not actually sure how things could be worse at my coronial hearing:

Dr. – He was found dead surrounded by first editions of the Postal Service Commemorative 1^st class stamp depicting the Margret Thatcher years, the excitement caused a peak to his blood pressure that his weak heart just couldn’t take.

Coroner –  And his prostate?

Dr. – I beg your pardon?

Coroner – His prostate, man. Did it in some way contribute to his untimely death?

Dr. – Um, no your honour. By the normal method of examination it was perfectly fine…

The normal manner of investigation, I shudder, we men folk – such delicate flowers. A one-off finger (lubed) up the clacker as opposed to a lifetime, post-adolescence, of constant examination of the holiest of holies. A poem about prostate examination…

Oh no, oh no the indignity,

For the fingerer and the fingeree.

Right. Back on track and more about death. Who else has a steaming turd of a pointless list this year?

Seriously, I’m considering leaking to the Hollywood elite the miraculous life extending power of my list, those who at a five to midnight on December the 31^st are predicted by the honest news available online to soon be ex-celebrities. Imagine the money on offer to be included in my list of the lucky, guaranteed to grant you an extension of at least five years, nay, if not a complete cure even.

Oh no, not next year, oh no. For my planning has begun in earnest already…

As such I will now retreat to some wistful musings from the meadows of my memories to come up with some names. And if by chance you find yourself wandering by some beautiful field full of long grasses and wildflowers, butterflies silhouetted against the setting sun as the beautiful song of the nightingale sounds out into the void, listen closely you may hear a list being repeated in a manner not dissimilar to that of the diminutive murderess of millions Arya Stark, “Donald Trump, Borris Johnson, Jeremy Hunt, Benjamin Netanyahu, Simon Cowell…” 

Well you know, you will have stumbled upon the meadow of my memory, take a look around… It’s entirely at your own risk.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sylvester Stallone (73), Eva Green (39), Kevin Hart (40), Ned Beatty (82), Geoffrey Rush (68), Jennifer Saunders (61), 50 Cent (44), Burt Ward (74), Huey Lewis (69), Neil Morrissey (57), Ronni Ancona (51), Tom Cruise (57), Patrick Wilson (46), Kurtwood Smith (76), Yeardley Smith (55), Margot Robbie (29), Lindsay Lohan (33), Larry David (72), Jerry Hall (63), Pamela Anderson (52), Liv Tyler (42), Dan Aykroyd (67), Jean Marsh (85), Debbie Harry (74), David Prowse (84), Vincent D’Onofrio (60), Mike Tyson (53), Katherine Ryan (36), and Cheryl (36).