Another week, another newsletter… Bet you’re all getting bored of these!  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Ray Fenwick, 75, English guitarist (The Spencer Davis Group, Ian Gillan Band).
• Kathy Boudin, 78, American political activist and convicted murderer, cancer. 
• Ric Parnell, 70, English drummer (Atomic Rooster, Spinal Tap) and actor (This Is Spinal Tap). 
• Kevin Samuels, 57, American internet personality. 
• Howie Pyro, 61, American punk bassist (D Generation), COVID-19.
• Kenneth Welsh, 80, Canadian actor (Twin Peaks, The Aviator, The Day After Tomorrow).  
• Mickey Gilley, 86, American country singer (“Room Full of Roses“, “Don’t the Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time“, “Stand by Me“).  

In Other News

The Hairy Bikers star Dave Myers has said that he is undergoing chemotherapy after being diagnosed with cancer. The TV chef said that he’d decided to discuss his diagnosis publicly because he didn’t want to “hide under a rock”. He also disclosed that he would be losing his hair in the coming months. Speaking on his podcast, The Hairy Bikers: Agony Uncles… A Right Pair of Aunts, on Friday, Myers told his on-screen cooking partner Si King that he would be taking a step back from filming and attending food festivals with the Hairy Bikers this summer. “Anyway Kingy, I’ve got to come clean now,” Myers said. “I haven’t been too well recently and basically, I’ve got to have some chemo, you know all this anyway, so this year is going to be a bit quiet for me. I’m not going to be filming, some of the festivals I’m not going to be able to go to, some I may be OK but this year’s a bit of a write off for us.” The 64-year-old continued: “I would love it if people respected my privacy and just let me get on with it and give Si and our team all the support they need, that would be great. But look, the prognosis is OK, I’m going to be fine. I’ve just got to tuck in, look after myself, eat sensibly and get over this mess, flog books, and be a happy person. So within that, that’s where I am,” he said. “I may be a baldy biker for a while so it’s just a warning, I don’t want to make a fuss about it, I look alright bald actually,” Myers added, with King joking that his friend had looked like “an upside-down Hells Angel” when they first met. “Under different circumstances I would embrace it more I feel, but under these circumstances it’s simply something I have to live with, get on with it and crack on,” Myers said. The presenting duo met in 1995, releasing their first cookery TV show The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook together in 2004. Myers competed on the 11th series of Strictly Come Dancing in 2013 with Karen Hauer, where they made it through to week seven.   

DJ David Hamilton has been diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer as the veteran broadcaster said it makes him look like he has a suntan. The legendary BBC broadcaster was admittedly left confused when friends expressed how his skin glowed and he had a healthy look about him. Unbeknownst to the radio legend, he had in fact been living with cancer. The veteran DJ explained he has been diagnosed polycythaemia vera – a rare type of blood cancer. Symptoms of the condition can include itchy skin, headaches, blurred vision, red skin and tiredness according to the NHS. David, who is best known for his presenting gigs on BBC Radio 1 and 2 as well as Top of the Pops, was in fact suffering from an unusual cancer. The 83-year-old admitted he was “caught on the hop” by his diagnosis after suffering no other signs of illness. He only became concerned when he began urinating blood one day and was referred to a specialist by his doctor that he was diagnosed with polycythaemia vera. The rare condition causes the body to overproduce red blood cells, causing the skin to develop a “very rosy complexion”. He explained: “I didn’t have any other indications, such as dizziness or tiredness, and that’s why the diagnosis caught me on the hop. When my GP sent me to St Luke’s, I said to my wife, ‘What am I doing here, I don’t have cancer? I was feeling perfectly fine, except for I was peeing blood, which is always a worry, but that could have been due to an infection. They told me I had too many red blood cells, and I was at risk of a heart attack or a stroke. They said the condition is called polycythaemia vera, and I needed to have treatment and have blood taken, to get my red cells down to a safe level.” He went on: “The word ‘cancer’ freaks everybody out. But my consultant said to put it in perspective, ‘if you’re going to have cancer, this is the best cancer you could possibly have’. That was very comforting. Too many red blood cells gives you a very rosy complexion, so it looks like you’ve got a suntan. So everybody who sees me says how well I look!” David, who lives in Sussex with his wife Dreena, continues to present a lunchtime show on Boom Radio radio six times a week despite his diagnosis. He began taking chemotherapy pills to treat the incurable condition over but is awaiting confirmation from his consultant if he requires further treatment. 

Amid rumours that Putin is planning to take a temporary leave of command due to ill health, experts are anticipating a big announcement on Russia’s 9th May ‘Victory Day’. Experts are keenly watching Vladimir Putin’s public appearances for further signs of ill health, amid rumours attributed to a Kremlin insider that the Russian president is due to undergo surgery, possibly for cancer. The rumours appear to have originated with the hugely popular Russian Telegram channel General SVR, which claimed that Mr Putin’s doctors have warned him the surgery might incapacitate him for “a short time”, and that during this period the president will briefly hand over the reins of power to an aide. There has been no official confirmation regarding Mr Putin’s alleged ill health – the Kremlin has not commented on the reports, either to confirm or deny them – but recent videos and pictures showing him shaky, fidgeting and puffy-looking have fuelled speculation that the 69-year-old may be suffering from one of a number of conditions including dementia, Parkinson’s or cancer. Russia observers are divided on how much attention to pay to the health rumours, with some even suggesting it could be a deliberate ploy from the Kremlin – given how tightly Russia controls any media output relating to the president. The latest claim about Mr Putin’s health was made on a Telegram channel which is purportedly run by a former Russian Foreign Intelligence Service lieutenant general, using the pseudonym “Viktor Mikhailovich”. According to the Flying Monkeys, in a video on the channel it is claimed that Mr Putin recently had a two-hour “heart-to-heart” conversation with close aide and secretary of Russia’s security council, Nikolai Patrushev. Mr Patrushev, who is a former chief of the Federal Security Service, was told that he might be given charge in a handover lasting a few days, and the president “made it clear” to him that he views him as “almost the only truly confidant and friend in the system of power”. “I would say there is a great deal of speculation about President Putin’s health,” Theresa Fallon, founder and director of the Centre for Russia Europe Asia Studies in Brussels, told The Flying Monkeys. “Putin has always tried to emphasise his fitness and vigour, which is part of his brand. Illness does not fit with Putin’s strong man narrative that has been carefully cultivated over the years by the Kremlin. This makes me wonder if there is really something else going on behind the scenes,” she said. Last week, a video resurfaced from a mid-February meeting showing Mr Putin seeming to shake uncontrollably as he welcomed Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenko. 

On This Day

• 1886 – Pharmacist John Pemberton first sells a carbonated beverage named “Coca-Cola” as a patent medicine.
• 1902 – In Martinique, Mount Pelée erupts, destroying the town of Saint-Pierre and killing over 30,000 people. Only a handful of residents survive the blast.
• 1950 – The Tollund Man was discovered in a peat bog near Silkeborg, Denmark.
• 1980 – The World Health Organisation confirms the eradication of smallpox.

Deaths

• 1903 – Paul Gauguin, French painter and sculptor (b. 1848).
• 1947 – Harry Gordon Selfridge, US-English businessman, founded Selfridges (b. 1858).
• 1982 – Gilles Villeneuve, Canadian race car driver (b. 1950).
• 1988 – Robert A. Heinlein, American science fiction writer and screenwriter (b. 1907).
• 1994 – George Peppard, American actor and producer (b. 1928).
• 2012 – Maurice Sendak, American author and illustrator (b. 1928).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Stephen Amell (41), Vicky McClure (39), David Attenborough (96), Alexander Ludwig (30), Richard O’Sullivan (78), Naomi Scott (29), Adrianne Palicki (39), George Clooney (61), Pippa Haywood (61), Gabourey Sidibe (39), Henry Cavill (39), Zach McGowan (42), Lance Henriksen (82), John Rhys-Davies (78), Richard E. Grant (65), Michael Palin (79), Adele (34), Will Arnett (52), Christina Hendricks (47), Bobby Cannavale (52), Rob Brydon (57), Frankie Valli (88), Sandi Toksvig (64), Dwayne Johnson (50), Ellie Kemper (42), Matt Berry (48), David Suchet (76), David Beckham (47), Engelbert Humperdinck (86), and Lily Allen (37).

Welcome to another bank holiday special, in which nothing special happens! And what’s this? More points to award?! Yup! Ceri had Kane Tenaka listed, so 31 points! Paul C had her down as his Woman, 131 points and Dave listed her as his Cert, 131 points!! Well done all three of you. Which means we have a new points leader! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Andrew Woolfolk, 71, American saxophonist (Earth, Wind & Fire).  
• Ann Davies, 87, English actress (Doctor Who, Peter’s Friends, The Sculptress).  
• Kenneth Tsang, 86, Hong Kong actor (A Better Tomorrow, The Killer, Once a Thief).  
• Neal Adams, 80, American comic book artist (Batman, Superman vs. Muhammad Ali, Green Lantern), complications from sepsis.  
• Jossara Jinaro, 48, Brazilian-born American actress (Collateral Damage, Havoc, World Trade Center). 
• Kane Tanaka, 119, Japanese supercentenarian, world’s oldest person (since 2018). 
• Naomi Judd, 76, American country singer (The Judds) and songwriter (“Change of Heart“, “Love Can Build a Bridge“). 
• Gabe Serbian, 45, American hardcore punk musician (The Locust, Dead Cross).  
• Joanna Barnes, 87, American actress (Auntie Mame, Tarzan, the Ape Man, The Parent Trap) and writer. 
• Peter Moore, 78, American graphic designer and shoe designer (Air Jordan). 

In Other News

Kim Woodburn has been rushed to hospital – and fans are worried for her. The 80-year-old TV star posted a photo from her bed, revealing that she has a mystery illness and underwent treatment. Kim managed to sit up in bed, while connected to an oxygen machine, and gave a smile to the camera. She appeared to show she was feeling in good spirits, by placing a cardboard bowl on top of her head, pretending it was a hat. Sharing how she can’t get back to her own home, Kim captioned the joyful photo: “My hospital outfit. Do you like the hat? Home tonight! Yippeee!” Kim is a ‘household name’ and rose to fame on show How Clean is Your House. She came onto screens back in 2003, fronting the show alongside Aggie MacKenzie. Before fame, she was working as a professional cleaner and earned around £1,000 a month. However things changed for the star when she entered the Big Brother house in 2017. She joined on Day 11 and finished in third place. The star was constantly involved in heated blows with her housemates on the show – making some of the most memorable moments in reality television history. She also had an infamous row with Coleen Nolan on Loose Women. Viewers got more than they bargained for when Kim and Coleen appeared on the show in 2018. With their explosive spat ending in tears and storming off, it’s safe to say their simmering feud had been a long time coming before their appearance on the ITV show. The two woman clashed in a highly charged episode billed to be a reconciliation after their Celebrity Big Brother stint, in which Kim claimed Coleen had ganged on on her with seven other housemates to bully her – which Coleen denied. The chaotic interview stunned viewers of the usually family-friendly show, as Coleen and Kim went to war on live TV, culminating in the How Clean Is Your House star storming off the  set in tears. 

Former Emmerdale star Malandra Burrows has vowed to stay positive while she is treated for breast cancer. The 56-year-old has had a stage three tumour removed from her left breast and is about to start chemotherapy. But she says: “I do not want to make this cancer my life. “When I tell people, they say to me, ‘I can’t believe you can talk about it and be so positive,’ but it’s the reality and you have to be positive.” Malandra, who portrayed Kathy Glover in the ITV soap for 16 years, was diagnosed in February after discovering a lump the month before. After seeing her GP and being referred to a hospital for a scan and an ultrasound, a consultant asked her to return and bring someone with her. Malandra said: “I thought, ‘I’ve got to take this on my own.’ I’m single and I felt I couldn’t do that to a friend. When I went in, I found myself greeted by a Macmillan nurse and I just knew. She nearly broke down telling me, but I just went, ‘Don’t be daft!’ We’ll get through it and I’m going to ring that bell. I had already galvanised myself before hearing the news so I’ve never cried about it. I’ve kind of gone into combat mode. If I look back, I’ve given it everything I can and that’s all I can do. When it’s your life at stake, you’re prepared to do everything to get through. That’s helped me focus.” Doctors told Malandra her type of cancer may have been caused by going through the menopause. She told our flying monkeys: “Davina [McCall] has done a fabulous job of bringing menopause to the forefront, but I had never heard of menopausal cancer. They told me that, because of the oestrogen and the way your hormonal balance changes, it’s one of the most major causes of breast cancer.” She decided to share her story to help raise awareness and encourage women to get checked out: “I tell all ladies, go and get a mammogram. No matter what age you are, if something seems suspicious, go to your GP. 

Paul ‘Bonehead’ Arthurs has revealed he has cancer. The Oasis legend and former guitarist, who currently plays as part of Liam Gallagher’s  solo band, took to social media to share the news last Tuesday. Sharing a statement, he began: “Just to let you all know I’m going to be taking a break from playing for a while. I’ve been diagnosed with tonsil cancer, but the good news is it’s treatable and I’ll be starting a course of treatment soon. I’ll keep you posted how it’s going”. The Manchester rocker continued: “I’m gutted I’m missing the gigs with Liam and the band. Have the best summer and enjoy the gigs if you’re going, I’ll see you soon xxx”. Fans and artists alike have rushed to offer the Manchester rocker their love and support, with his longtime friend and touring bandmate Liam sharing his response to the news. Also taking to Twitter, the Everything’s Electric singer wrote: “Sending BIG love to the 1 n only Bonehead and his family wishing you a speedy recovery we’re all thinking of you rasta you’ll be back on stage bfore you can say r we doing Colombia LG x”, because picking up the phone is far too much trouble…  The news of course means that Bonehead will miss Liam’s shows across the summer, including two iconic dates at Knebworth on 3rd and 4th June, which were set for the Queen’s Jubilee weekend. Bonehead is credited with being one of the founding members of the legendary Manchester band. In the late 1980s, while working as a building contractor, he started a band called The Rain with his friends Paul “Guigsy” McGuigan, Tony McCarroll and Chris Hutton, which would later go on become Oasis when Liam Gallagher replaced the late Paul Ashbee, the man who introduced Liam to Bonehead, believes the rhythm guitarist was even more instrumental in the makings of the band than people think. “People think it was Noel and Liam who created the sound of Oasis but it wasn’t – it was Bonehead,” he told the flying monkeys. ”Liam was the frontman, Noel was the poet who came later. It was a jigsaw puzzle. It was meant to be. “Definitely Maybe was Noel’s therapy, it was his poetry – but it was Bonehead’s core sound. I know because I’d heard it back when they were still called The Rain.”

On This Day

• 1807 – The Slave Trade Act 1807 takes effect, abolishing the slave trade within the British Empire.
• 1840 – The Penny Black, the first official adhesive postage stamp, is issued in the United Kingdom.
• 1945 – World War II: A German newsreader officially announces that Adolf Hitler has “fallen at his command post in the Reich Chancellery fighting to the last breath against Bolshevism and for Germany”. He had in fact died the day earlier.
• 1956 – The polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk is made available to the public.
• 1994 –Three-time Formula One champion Ayrton Senna dies from an accident during the San Marino Grand Prix.
• 1999 – The body of British climber George Mallory is found on Mount Everest, 75 years after his disappearance in 1924.

Deaths

• 1945 – Joseph Goebbels, German lawyer and politician, Chancellor of Germany (b. 1897).
• 1994 – Ayrton Senna, Brazilian race car driver (b. 1960).
• 2011 – Henry Cooper, English boxer (b. 1934).
• 2011 – Ted Lowe, English sportscaster (b. 1920).
• 2015 – Grace Lee Whitney, American actress (b. 1930).
• 2021 – Olympia Dukakis, American actress (b. 1931).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jamie Dornan (40), Julie Benz (50), Joanna Lumley (76), Gal Gadot (37), Kirsten Dunst (40), Sam Heughan (42), Johnny Galecki (47), Burt Young (82), Michelle Pfeiffer (64), Daniel Day-Lewis (65), Uma Thurman (52), Kate Mulgrew (67), Jerry Seinfeld (68), Willie Nelson (89), Penélope Cruz (48), Jessica Alba (41), Jay Leno (72), Jenna Coleman (36), Russell T. Davies (59), Sheena Easton (63), Pablo Schreiber (44), Channing Tatum (42), Giancarlo Esposito (64), Tom Welling (45), Kevin James (57), Jet Li (59), Joan Chen (61), Renée Zellweger (53), Al Pacino (82), Gina Torres (53), Hank Azaria (58), Talia Shire (76), and William Roache (90).

Welcome all, to a death-lite version of the Dead Pool Newsletter. Unsurprisingly, no points this week, but with a certain Russian upping his ante, I’m sure we’ll all be dead ten times over by next week. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Robert Morse, 90, American actor (How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Tru, Mad Men). 
• Cynthia Plaster Caster, 74, American visual artist.  
• Eric Chappell, 88, English screenwriter (The Squirrels, Rising Damp, Home to Roost).

In Other News

Everyone’s favourite ‘superhero’ has been arrested in Hawaii for the second time in recent weeks and charged with second-degree assault after allegedly throwing a chair at a woman. Hawaii Island police responded to an incident at a Pahoa home early Tuesday morning and arrested Ezra Miller, aka The Flash. Police said that the 29-year-old actor “became irate” after being asked to leave a private residence and threw a chair at a woman, striking her in the head. The woman reportedly was left with a cut on her forehead half an inch deep. This is not the first legal issue Miller has faced in Hawaii recently. In late March, the Fantastic Beasts star was arrested in a karaoke bar in Hilo for disorderly conduct and harassment. He was accused of harassing a woman at the bar, at one point grabbing a microphone from a 23-year-old woman and later lunged at a 32-year-old man playing darts. Miller was then arrested and his bail was set at $500 (£381), which the actor paid. He’s certainly setting himself up as a woman hater as back in April 2020, a video surfaced in a since-deleted tweet that appeared to show Miller choking a woman and throwing her to the ground. The video was confirmed to have taken place at Prikið Kaffihús, a bar in Reykjavik that Miller frequented when in the city. A bar employee identified the person in the video as Miller and said he was escorted off the premises by staff after the incident. Miller, who was born in New Jersey, has played The Flash in the DC universe for a number of years and is set to star in a standalone movie scheduled for release next year. I bet DC wished they stuck with Grant Gustin.  

Former World Darts Championship finalist Mike Gregory has died aged 65. Gregory, known as the ‘Quiet Man of Darts’, was confirmed to have passed away on Tuesday morning, 30 years after his remarkable final appearance in the World Darts Championship. Gregory faced Phil Taylor in the final, and excruciatingly missed six match darts to clinch the title after a superb showing. The 65-year-old enjoyed a glistening career in darts, reaching the final of World Masters twice in 1983 and 1992 as well as winning the Unipart British Professional, the MFI World Matchplay and the News of the World twice. His last major title came in 1995 in the Unipart European Masters, and Gregory then proceeded to take a break from darts, making only a few appearances in the Scottish and Welsh Open before officially retiring. Having then continued as a county player, it occasionally looked as though Gregory could return to the BDO scene, but it never came to fruition.  

Vladimir Putin’s health has been called into question yet again after a video showed him tightly clutching a table throughout a meeting with Russian defence minister Sergei Shoigu. The clip has sparked fresh theories about his health, which has reportedly deteriorated since he launched Russia’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine. In the footage posted online by the Kremlin, the 69-year-old Russian president grabs hold of the corner of the table with his right hand as soon as he sits down for the meeting, and keeps hold of it for the entirety of the 12 minute clip. Mr Putin can also be seen intermittently holding the edge of the table with his left hand while Mr Shoigu reads him a statement. The footage shows Mr Putin’s right thumb constantly moving as he listens to his defence minister, and it has been suggested that the fidgeting could indicate that he was trying to hide a tremor typical of Parkinson’s disease. Sir Richard Dearlove – former MI6 head – and Professor Gwythian Prins – previously a Nato adviser – have claimed that Mr Putin has shown signs of the progressive nervous system disorder. In the clip, Mr Putin moves his feet up and down, appears restless and tense, and clears his throat a number of times while listening to his defence minister – who reportedly suffered a heart attack recently at the age of 66. The Russian president also sits slightly hunched, with his spine pressed flat against the back of the chair, in contrast to Shoigu who appears to be sitting more upright and without the need for any support. Anders Aslund, an author and former adviser on Russia and Ukraine, said that both men looked like they were not in good health. “Shoigu has to read his comments to Putin and slurs badly, suggesting that the rumours of his heart attack are likely. He sits badly. Poor performance. Worth watching,” he said.  

Martin Roberts has described the terrifying moment he saw doctors plunge an eight-inch syringe into his chest before undergoing emergency heart surgery. On  Thursday, the Homes Under the Hammer presenter shared a video to social media explaining that he was in hospital after experiencing chest pains he had initially believed to be due to asthma or long Covid. Instead, doctors found that his heart was surrounded by “a massive amount of fluid”, which was preventing it from working. He had emergency surgery that night and was later told that he’d had “hours to live” when he was operated on. Speaking to the flying monkeys at the hospital, Roberts said that the incident was “the nearest thing to not being here that’s ever happened to me”. He was seen within 45 seconds of arriving at the hospital, where it was discovered that his blood pressure was half that of a healthy person. “It was severe,” he said. “My liver and my kidneys were down to 30 per cent of their normal operational capacity.” Roberts was given local anaesthetic, before doctors drained a litre and a half of fluid from his lungs with a large syringe. “I watched as they drew out syringe after syringe after syringe of this liquid,” the property expert said. “I was awake for this, but I was bit woozy. There was a tube that went in through my chest cavity, down into the sack around my heart.” Roberts said that doctors suspected he had an underlying respiratory problem that had spread to the heart, adding: “It remains to be seen whether I get full function back of my liver and kidneys. I don’t know about the lungs.”  

UK singer Tom Grennan is recovering from an “unprovoked attack” which has left him with injuries including a torn ear-drum, his manager has announced. The 26-year-old is said to have been attacked and robbed outside a bar in Manhattan after performing in New York on Wednesday. He has been forced to postpone a gig in Washington DC on Friday as a result. Grennan’s track Little Bit of Love was nominated for song of the year at this year’s Brit Awards. “In the early hours of this morning after Tom’s New York show, he was the victim of an unprovoked attack and robbery outside a bar in Manhattan,” his manager John Dawkins said in a statement posted online on Thursday evening. “Tom is currently being assessed by doctors for his injuries which include a ruptured ear, torn ear-drum and issue with his previously fractured jaw.” He added: “Despite this Tom is in good spirits but needs to temporarily recuperate whilst doctors assess his ability to continue with his touring.” His manager went on to thank Grennan’s American fans, noting how the singer was “desperate not to let anyone down”, but that the “precautionary decision” had been made to postpone his Washington show until later notice. Grennan initially found fame as the guest vocalist on Chase & Status’s track All Goes Wrong, and he went on to score a number one solo album with 2021’s Evering Road. The Bedford-born singer received two recent Brit Award nominations, including best rock/alternative act, while losing out to Adele’s Easy on Me in the song of the year category. Last month he revealed that therapy had offered him “light at the end of a tunnel”, as he opened up about his fashionable mental health battles.

On This Day

• 1916 – Ernest Shackleton and five men of the Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition launch a lifeboat from uninhabited Elephant Island in the Southern Ocean to organise a rescue for the crew of the sunken Endurance. 
• 1967 – Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov dies in Soyuz 1 when its parachute fails to open. He is the first human to die during a space mission.  
• 1990 – The Hubble Space Telescope is launched from the Space Shuttle Discovery. 
• 2013 – A building collapses near Dhaka, Bangladesh, killing 1,129 people and injuring 2,500 others.

Deaths

• 1731 – Daniel Defoe, English journalist, novelist, and spy (b. 1660). 
• 1974 – Bud Abbott, American comedian and producer (b. 1895). 
• 2004 – Estée Lauder, American businesswoman, co-founded Estée Lauder (b. 1906). 

The Fun in Physics

Particle accelerators are machines that propel charged particles at incredible speeds, generally to collide with other particles. It’s highly advisable that the particles the high-speed particles collide with should not be part of your head, as one man learned the hard way.

On July 13th, 1978, particle physicist Anatoli Bugorski was working his job at the U-70 synchrotron, the largest particle accelerator in the Soviet Union. The 36-year-old was inspecting a piece of equipment that had malfunctioned when the accident happened. Unbeknownst to him, several safety mechanisms had also failed, meaning that when he leaned over to get a good look at his task, a proton beam shot through the back of his head at close to the speed of light.

Or at least, closer to the speed of light than you’d like a proton beam to be traveling at when it shoots clean through your face.

At first, he felt no pain. He knew what had happened, as he had seen a light “brighter than a thousand Suns,” as well as the gravity of the situation. At this point, he didn’t tell a soul, and merely completed his day’s work before heading home and waited for the inevitable to happen.

Absorbing 500 rads of radiation would usually lead to death. Though he didn’t yet know it, he had been hit with between 200,000-300,000 rads. In the night, his face began to swell beyond recognition, prompting him to visit the doctors the following morning. From there, he was taken to a clinic in Moscow, though largely so that his death could be observed rather than for any expectation that his life could be saved.

The next few days saw his skin peel off around the entry and exit wounds, showing a clean path burned right through his skin, skull, and brain. Remarkably, he did not  die. The brain tissue continued to burn away over the ensuing years, and his face became paralysed on the left side, where his hearing was also lost. Weirder still, as he aged the right side of his head showed signs of ageing, while the left side did not.

Over the next few decades, he experienced seizures but remained functional, continued his work as a physicist, and completed a PhD. As far as people who have put their heads into a particle accelerator go (and to be fair, that’s a demographic of one) he was pretty lucky. The narrow focus of the beam, though it caused massive damage, likely kept the damage limited to an area of brain that he could live without.

For the decade after his accident, he was unable to tell anyone about it, given the notorious secrecy of the Soviet Union. He survived well beyond the end of the USSR, however. In fact, the man who put his head in a particle accelerator and lived to tell the tale remains alive to this day.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jack Quaid (30), Joe Keery (30), Aidan Gillen (54), Djimon Hounsou (58), Shirley MacLaine (88), Barbra Streisand (80), Rory McCann (53), John Cena (45), Dev Patel (32), Gemma Whelan (41), John Hannah (60), Lee Majors (83), Blair Brown (76), John Oliver (45), Amber Heard (36), Jack Nicholson (85), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (56), Machine Gun Kelly (32), Sheryl Lee (55), John Waters (76), Michelle Ryan (38), Robbie Amell (34), James McAvoy (43), Andie MacDowell (64), Toby Stephens (53), Tony Danza (71), Iggy Pop (75), Queen Elizabeth II (96), Andy Serkis (58), Clint Howard (63), Jessica Lange (73), Veronica Cartwright (73), Carmen Electra (50), Ruth Connell (43), Ryan O’Neal (81), George Takei (85), Leslie Phillips (98), Nicholas Lyndhurst (61), Michael Brandon (77), James Franco (44), Hayden Christensen (41), Tim Curry (76), Maria Sharapova (35), David Tennant (51), Hayley Mills (76), Rick Moranis (69), James Woods (75), and Eli Roth (50).

A short and quick update this week, I’m sure you’ve all got other stuff  you’d rather be getting on with!

I have to begin this week by belatedly awarding some points. I missed Harry E. Goldsworthy who died on the 16th of February at the ripe old age of 107, which means Paul C gets 43 points, which propels him to second place!!! Well done that man! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Jack Higgins, 92, British author (The Eagle Has Landed, Thunder Point, Angel of Death). 
• Sonny Caldinez, 89, Trinidadian actor (Doctor Who, The Fifth Element, Raiders of the Lost Ark).  
• Gilbert Gottfried, 67, American comedian, television personality and actor (Aladdin, Cyberchase), ventricular tachycardia.
• Rio Hackford, 52, American actor (Treme, Jonah Hex, The Mandalorian).  
• Liz Sheridan, 93, American actress (Seinfeld, ALF, Play the Game). 

In Other News

The formidable mother of Sophie Lancaster who was murdered in Bacup has sadly died. Sylvia Lancaster OBE, died suddenly on 12th April in Royal Blackburn Hospital though had been ill for the last couple of years. The mother of Sophie Lancaster, who was murdered in Stubbylee Park in Bacup in 2007, set up a foundation in memory of her daughter, with the name Sophie standing for – stamp out prejudice hatred and intolerance everywhere. In a post on Instagram, the foundation said: “This is the hardest statement to write. It is with great shock and disbelief that we announce that Sylvia Lancaster has passed away. “She died early this morning in Blackburn hospital. She had suffered from ill health for the last couple of years, but her death was sudden and unexpected. Sylvia had such a powerful life force; we cannot imagine a world without her in it. Following Sophie’s brutal murder, Sylvia put her energy into championing people from alternative subcultures and creating educational programmes to tackle prejudice and intolerance. She worked tirelessly to combat the inaccurate and lazy stereotyping that all too often leads to violent prejudice and promoted a culture of celebrating difference; something that leads to safer communities for us all. Sophie was killed, and her boyfriend Robert Maltby left with serious injuries, after an attack in August 2007 from a group of youths who beat up the pair because of their appearance. Recently, Ryan Herbert, who was aged 16 when he was jailed for life in 2008 for murdering Sophie, has been granted parole and will be released on licence. Following her daughter’s tragic death, the foundation, headed by Sylvia, has worked hard to visit schools to speak with youths about Sophie’s story. Sylvia was awarded an OBE for her work.   

Simon Cowell has sparked concern from fans as he appeared on the first episode of Britain’s Got Talent on Saturday night. Viewers tuning into the show said the music mogul looked “ill”. The 62-year-old has recently recovered from a nasty e-bike accident near his home in London. He broke his arm and also ended up isolating during some of the audition rounds of the show as he caught Covid. But viewers of the show were concerned the star was “seriously not a well man”. They took to Twitter to comment. @traz_mac wrote: “Simon looks ill #britainsgottalent.” @colin84983253 commented: “Simon Cowell with blood blistered fingers there this fell a seriously not a well man.” @StephenMcGraw16 echoed: “God Simon looks ill #BritainsGotTalent.” @TardisPilot1 added: “@SimonCowell doesn’t look well, #bgt.” The show is back on screens for the first time in two years after it was cancelled last year due to the coronavirus pandemic. Simon has returned to the judges seat alongside Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams.  

Former EastEnders actress Melanie Clark Pullen has tragically died at the age of 46 following a battle with breast cancer. The tragic star – who played Pauline Fowler’s niece – was diagnosed with illness in January 2019 – and sadly died on March 29 this year after rounds of radiotherapy. She leaves behind her husband Simon and three children. In 2020, Melanie was given the all-clear – telling The Irish News at the time: “I got the all clear. I’m cancer free, which is great, so now it’s all about recovery.” But last June she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. She posted on her website: “I was only given the all clear from cancer 18 months ago and it’s a cruel blow to think that I will now be starting into some kind of treatment again and that this time it will be long term and a permanent fixture of my life.” Melanie kept her fans up to date with her journey, and posted about it as recently as March 14. In her last post, the star can be seen looking full of joy as she visited her family. She played the role of Mary Flaherty in the long-running BBC soap. 

On This Day

• 1951 – The Peak District becomes the United Kingdom’s first National Park.
• 1969 – Sirhan Sirhan is convicted of assassinating Robert F. Kennedy.
• 1970 – Apollo program: The ill-fated Apollo 13 spacecraft returns to Earth safely.
• 2014 – NASA’s Kepler space telescope confirms the discovery of the first Earth-size planet in the habitable zone of another star.

Deaths

• 1790 – Benjamin Franklin, American inventor, publisher, and politician, 6th President of Pennsylvania (b. 1706).
• 1882 – George Jennings, English engineer and plumber, invented the Flush toilet (b. 1810)
• 1998 – Linda McCartney, American photographer, activist, and musician (b. 1941)
• 2003 – Robert Atkins, American physician and cardiologist, created the Atkins diet (b. 1930)
• 2003 – John Paul Getty, Jr., American-English philanthropist (b. 1932)
• 2016 – Chyna, American wrestler (b. 1969)
• 2018 – Barbara Bush, former First Lady of the United States (b. 1925)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rooney Mara (37), Jennifer Garner (50), Sean Bean (63), David Bradley (80), Victoria Beckham (48), Anya Taylor-Joy (26), Gina Carano (40), Claire Foy (38), Ellen Barkin (68), Martin Lawrence (57), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (75), Emma Watson (32), Maisie Williams (25), Luke Evans (43), Emma Thompson (63), Seth Rogen (40), Abigail Breslin (26), Adrien Brody (49), Sarah Michelle Gellar (45), Julie Christie (82), Rob McElhenney (45), Robert Carlyle (61), Peter Capaldi (64), Bokeem Woodbine (49), Ron Perlman (72), William Sadler (72), Erick Avari (70), Edward Fox (85), Peter Davison (71), Saoirse Ronan (28), Jennifer Morrison (43), Claire Danes (43), Andy Garcia (66), Ed O’Neill (76), Shannen Doherty (51), Nicholas Brendon (51), David Letterman (75), Tricia Helfer (48), Matt Ryan (41), and Jeremy Clarkson (62).

We’ve got a points bonanza this week!!! 

With the sad passing of June Brown, both Trish and Shan get 155 points as they both had her down as their Woman. Each of the following get 55 points for June Brown: Rachel, Liz, Mark, Nickie, and Paul C. 

Paul C also gets a further 48 points for the passing of Nehemiah Persoff and another 100 points for Tom Smith!! Three deaths in one week!! 

I can also award 100 points each to Julia and Martin for also correctly guessing Tom Smith. 

Well done everyone, especially Paul C for three in one week, I’m tempted to send out the flying monkeys to make sure he didn’t have a hand in their deaths!!! 

So no huge change at the top of the league table, but quite a few of you have propelled yourselves into the top half this week. Congratulations everyone!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• June Brown, 95, English actress (EastEnders, The Duchess of Duke Street, Bean) and writer. 
• Pamela Rooke, 66, British model and actress, bile duct cancer.
• Jennifer Wilson, 89, British actress (The Brothers, Casualty, Coronation Street). 
• Stanisław Kowalski, 111, Polish masters athlete, nation’s oldest living man. 
• Nehemiah Persoff, 102, American actor (Some Like It Hot, An American Tail, Yentl).  
• Tom Smith, 50, Scottish rugby union player (Northampton Saints, national team, British & Irish Lions), colorectal cancer.  
• Kathryn Hays, 88, American actress (Ride Beyond Vengeance, Counterpoint, As the World Turns).

In Other News

David McKee, the bestselling children’s author and creator of Elmer and Mr Benn, has died aged 87. The news was confirmed by his publisher Andersen Press, who says he died at his home in the South of France after a short illness. A spokesperson released a statement, which read: “It is with great sadness that we announce the death of David McKee, beloved author and illustrator for children, and creator of iconic children’s books Elmer, Not Now, Bernard and Mr Benn. All at Andersen Press hope his spirit lives on for many more generations through his joyful, heartfelt stories”. Andersen Press founder Klaus Flugge also said: “I am devastated by the sudden death of my best friend, David McKee. He was as close to Andersen Press as I am. He was there from the very beginning and essential to the origin of the company. He became great friends with everyone he encountered; staff, authors and illustrators alike.” McKee is best known for Elmer, which was first published in 1968, and later became one of the most popular children’s books in the world. McKee wrote 29 Elmer books, which have sold over 10 million copies worldwide and been translated into more than 60 languages. The books have also been turned into an animated series, a stage play and a wide range of merchandise including soft toys. Another of McKee’s most popular creations, Mr Benn, was turned into a TV series. It is said that McKee based the suit and bowler hat-wearing character on Charlie Chaplin. McKee was born in Devon and later went on to study art in Plymouth. His writing career led to him travelling the world and spending considerable time in Italy, France and Spain.   

The woman who drew up lists of people for the German industrialist Oskar Schindler that helped save hundreds of Jews during the Holocaust has died aged 107. Mimi Reinhardt, who was employed as Schindler’s secretary, was in charge of drawing up the lists of Jewish workers from the ghetto of the Polish city of Kraków who were recruited to work at his factory, saving them from deportation to Nazi death camps. “My grandmother, so dear and so unique, passed away at the age of 107. Rest in peace,” Reinhardt’s granddaughter Nina wrote in a message to relatives. Austrian-born Reinhardt, who was also Jewish, was recruited by Schindler himself and worked for him until 1945. After the second world war, she moved to New York before deciding to move to Israel in 2007 to join her only son, Sasha Weitman, who was then a professor of sociology at Tel Aviv University. “I feel at home,” she told reporters when she landed in the country. Schindler, who died in 1974, was named by Israel’s Yad Vashem Holocaust museum as a member of the “Righteous Among the Nations”, an honour for non-Jews who tried to save Jews from Nazi extermination. The lists that Reinhardt compiled for him helped to save about 1,300 people at considerable risk to his own life. His initiative was recounted in the bestselling 1982 novel Schindler’s Ark and the award-winning film adaptation by Steven Spielberg, Schindler’s List. Reinhardt, who spent her last years at a nursing home north of Tel Aviv, had said she once met Spielberg but found it hard to watch the movie. The Israeli photographer Gideon Markowicz, who met Reinhardt as part of a project dedicated to Holocaust survivors, described her as an active woman. “She took part in the activities of the nursing home and was a bridge champion. She surfed the net and monitored the stock exchange,” he said.  

The family of late rapper Goonew has defended their decision to place what was allegedly the artist’s “embalmed corpse” on stage for his memorial service. The Maryland rapper, real name Markelle Morrow, was shot and killed on 18th March. This week, images and video footage circulated on social media purporting to show Goonew’s family and friends partying at Washington DC club Bliss, while his dead body – dressed in jeans, a hoodie, trainers and a crown – is propped up on stage. Goonews mother, Patrice, and his sister Ariana, told the flying monkeys that they wanted to display his body after seeing other services do something similar. His sister apparently told us that Goonew hadn’t wanted to be buried in a suit, and didn’t attend church, so they felt it would be inappropriate to have him in a casket. The owners of Bliss are reportedly investigating whether the body was real. In a statement, a representative said the club was “never made aware of what would transpire” during a $40 event Sunday that was billed as “The Final Show” for Goonew. The club said it had been contacted by a local funeral home and asked to rent out its venue for the “homecoming celebration”. It has offered a “sincere apology to all those who may be upset or offended”.

On This Day

• 1815 – The Mount Tambora volcano begins a three-month-long eruption, lasting until July 15th. The eruption ultimately kills 71,000 people and affects Earth’s climate for the next two years.
• 1858 – After the original Big Ben, a 14.5 tonne bell for the Palace of Westminster, had cracked during testing, it is recast into the current 13.76 tonne bell by Whitechapel Bell Foundry.
• 1912 – RMS Titanic sets sail from Southampton, England on her maiden and only voyage.
• 1970 – Paul McCartney announces that he is leaving The Beatles for personal and professional reasons.
• 1998 – The Good Friday Agreement is signed in Northern Ireland.
• 2019 – Scientists from the Event Horizon Telescope project announce the first ever image of a black hole, which was located in the centre of the M87 galaxy.

Deaths

• 1962 – Stuart Sutcliffe, Scottish artist and musician (b. 1940).
• 1966 – Evelyn Waugh, English soldier, novelist, journalist and critic (b. 1903).
• 1991 – Kevin Peter Hall, American actor (b. 1955).
• 2014 – Sue Townsend, English author and playwright (b. 1946).
• 2015 – Richie Benaud, Australian cricketer and sportscaster (b. 1930).

Botched American Executions

It is estimated that 3% of U.S. executions in the period from 1890 to 2010 were botched. In the 2014 book, Gruesome Spectacles: Botched Executions and America’s Death Penalty, Austin Sarat, a professor of jurisprudence and political science at Amherst College, describes the history of flawed executions in the U.S. during that period. Sarat reports that over those 120 years, 8,776 people were executed and 276 of those executions (3.15%) went wrong in some way. Lethal injection had the highest rate of botched executions. 

In his book, he defines a botched execution as follows: Botched executions occur when there is a breakdown in, or departure from, the “protocol” for a particular method of execution. The protocol can be established by the norms, expectations, and advertised virtues of each method or by the government’s officially adopted execution guidelines. Botched executions are “those involving unanticipated problems or delays that caused, at least arguably, unnecessary agony for the prisoner or that reflect gross incompetence of the executioner.” Examples of such problems include, among other things, inmates catching fire while being electrocuted, being strangled during hangings (instead of having their necks broken), and being administered the wrong dosages of specific drugs for lethal injections. 

A report in the Salt Lake City Tribune takes a different view of the suggestion that there have been no botched executions by firing squad since 1890. The paper reports that in September 1951, a Utah firing squad shot Eliseo J. Mares in the hip and abdomen and that it was “several minutes” before he was declared dead. 

Here are a few more examples: 

August 10th 1982. Virginia. Frank J. Coppola. Electrocution. Although no media representatives witnessed the execution and no details were ever released by the Virginia Department of Corrections, an attorney who was present later stated that it took two 55-second jolts of electricity to kill Coppola. The second jolt produced the odour and sizzling sound of burning flesh, and Coppola’s head and leg caught on fire. Smoke filled the death chamber from floor to ceiling with a smoky haze. 

September 2nd 1983. Mississippi. Jimmy Lee Gray. Asphyxiation. Officials had to clear the room eight minutes after the gas was released when Gray’s desperate gasps for air repulsed witnesses. His attorney, Dennis Balske of Montgomery, Alabama, criticised state officials for clearing the room when the inmate was still alive. Said noted death penalty defence attorney David Bruck, “Jimmy Lee Gray died banging his head against a steel pole in the gas chamber while the reporters counted his moans.” Later it was revealed that the executioner, Barry Bruce, was drunk. 

December 12th 1984. Georgia. Alpha Otis Stephens. Electrocution. “The first charge of electricity failed to kill him, and he struggled to breathe for eight minutes before a second charge carried out his death sentence.” After the first two minute power surge, there was a six minute pause so his body could cool down before physicians could examine him (and declare that another jolt was needed). During that six-minute interval, Stephens took 23 breaths. A Georgia prison official said, “Stephens was just not a conductor” of electricity. December 13th 1988. Texas. Raymond Landry. Lethal Injection. Pronounced dead 40 minutes after being strapped to the execution gurney and 24 minutes after the drugs first started flowing into his arms. Two minutes after the drugs were administered, the syringe came out of Landry’s vein, spraying the deadly chemicals across the room toward witnesses. The curtain separating the witnesses from the inmate was then pulled, and not reopened for fourteen minutes while the execution team reinserted the catheter into the vein. Witnesses reported “at least one groan.” A spokesman for the Texas Department of Correction, Charles Brown, said, “There was something of a delay in the execution because of what officials called a ‘blowout.’ The syringe came out of the vein, and the warden  ordered the team to reinsert the catheter into the vein.” 

Sept. 15, 2009. Ohio. Romell Broom. Attempted Lethal Injection. Efforts to find a suitable vein and to execute Mr. Broom were terminated after more than two hours when the executioners were unable to find a useable vein in Mr. Broom’s arms or legs. During the failed efforts, Mr. Broom winced and grimaced with pain. After the first hour’s lack of success, on several occasions Broom tried to help the executioners find a good vein. “At one point, he covered his face with both hands and appeared to be sobbing, his stomach heaving. Finally, Ohio Governor Ted Strickland ordered the execution to stop, and announced plans to attempt the execution anew after a one-week delay so that physicians could be consulted for advice on how the man could be killed more efficiently. The executioners blamed the problems on Mr. Broom’s history of intravenous drug use. In December 2020, Broom died in prison before the sentence could be carried out.

April 6th 1992. Arizona. Donald Eugene Harding. Asphyxiation. Death was not pronounced until 10 1/2 minutes after the cyanide tablets were dropped. During the execution, Harding thrashed and struggled violently against the restraining straps. A television journalist who witnessed the execution, Cameron Harper, said that Harding’s spasms and jerks lasted 6 minutes and 37 seconds. “Obviously, this man was suffering. This was a violent death, an ugly event. We put animals to death more humanely.” Another witness, newspaper reporter Carla McClain, said, “Harding’s death was extremely violent. He was in great pain. I heard him gasp and moan. I saw his body turn from red to purple.”One reporter who witnessed the execution suffered from insomnia and assorted illnesses for several weeks; two others were “walking vegetables” for several days. 

March 25th 1997. Florida. Pedro Medina. Electrocution. A crown of foot-high flames shot from the headpiece during the execution, filling the execution chamber with a stench of thick smoke and gagging the two dozen official witnesses. An official then threw a switch to manually cut off the power and prematurely end the two-minute cycle of 2,000 volts. Medina’s chest continued to heave until the flames stopped and death came. After the execution, prison officials blamed the fire on a corroded copper screen in the headpiece of the electric chair, but two experts hired by the governor later concluded that the fire was caused by the improper application of a sponge (designed to conduct electricity) to Medina’s head.  

December 13, 2006. Florida. Angel Diaz. Lethal Injection. After the first injection was administered, Mr. Diaz continued to move, and was squinting and grimacing as he tried to mouth words. A second dose was then administered, and 34 minutes passed before Mr. Diaz was declared dead. At first a spokesperson for the Florida Department of Corrections claimed that this was because Mr. Diaz had some sort of liver disease. After performing an autopsy, the Medical Examiner, Dr. William Hamilton, stated that Mr. Diaz’s liver was undamaged, but that the IV catheters (which had been inserted in both arms) had gone through Mr. Diaz’s veins and out the other side, so the deadly chemicals were injected into soft tissue, rather than the vein. Two days after the execution, Governor Jeb Bush temporarily suspended all executions in the state and appointed a commission “to consider the humanity and constitutionality of lethal injections.”  

Last Week’s Birthdays

Daisy Ridley (30), Charlie Hunnam (42), Haley Joel Osment (34), David Harbour (47), Steven Seagal (70), Barkhad Abdi (37), Peter MacNicol (68), Kristen Stewart (32), Elle Fanning (24), Dennis Quaid (68), Cynthia Nixon (56), Mark Pellegrino (57), Patricia Arquette (54), Katee Sackhoff (42), Robin Wright (56), Dean Norris (59), Francis Ford Coppola (83), Russell Crowe (58), Jackie Chan (68), Paul Rudd (53), Zach Braff (47), Michael Rooker (67), John Ratzenberger (75), Billy Dee Williams (85), Lily James (33), Mitch Pileggi (70), Pharrell Williams (49), Robert Downey Jr. (57), Hugo Weaving (62), Graham Norton (59), and Xenia Seeberg (54).