Dead Pool 30th January 2022

Another week passes us by, a few more celebrities die. Maybe we should have got the supercentenarian, maybe we should have got Barry Cryer, but there’s no point crying over spilt milk. Onwards we go!  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Dame Judi Dench has revealed she suffered a fall at home which left her immobile for 30 minutes. The acting legend, 87, admitted that keeping her independence is becoming ‘very difficult’ as she grows older as she detailed her recent scare. Dame Judi, who is currently starring in Oscar-tipped film Belfast, revealed the frightening moment she tripped at home and was unable to get up, having to call out to her pet parrot for help as nobody was around. ‘I tripped over the carpet, and there was nobody in the house and I was lying on the ground unable to get up for half an hour,’ she said. Despite the distressing situation, Dame Judi kept her humour, as she recalled her pet parrot kept asking her: ‘What are you doing? What are you doing?’ ‘This is when you need a very convenient parrot who would phone somebody,’ she joked, ‘but she didn’t.’ The Belfast star lives alone, although her partner David Mills, 77, and daughter Finty Williams live nearby. Thankfully, the beloved actress recovered and was able to pull herself up after half an hour. Despite the scare, Dame Judi is adamant she is not willing to install a panic alarm in her home as she wants to keep her independence – but admits it is ‘very, very difficult’. The veteran actress has appeared in everything from the James Bond Franchise to heart-breaking biopic Philomena, but has recently admitted there are some roles she would be unable to take up at her age. Dame Judi last week appeared on The One Show alongside Belfast co-star Ciarán Hinds, where she was asked if she would consider taking on the role of Doctor Who. However, to fans’ disappointment, the actress admitted she ‘might have to pass on that one’. ‘I’d have to get someone to do the stunts for me, that wouldn’t be any good, would it! I’m not up to that, I’m afraid,’ she admitted. But while she might not be travelling through time and space in the Tardis any time soon, Dame Judi has proved time and again that she’s still young at heart – having made multiple viral appearances with her grandson, Sam, on TikTok, which is more than your friendly Dead Pool Master can do, even with the help of the flying monkeys!  

If, like me, you feel that the human race needs a bit of a cull, thankfully Putin is of the same mind, you might want to listen to Uri Geller. The self-proclaimed psychic has urged NASA to prepare for a mass alien landing on Earth!!! Earlier in the week, scientists spotted an extraordinary object blasting giant bursts of energy in a way they have never seen before. Natasha Hurley-Walker, from the International Centre for Radio Astronomy Research, called the “mystery” object “completely unexpected.” “It was kind of spooky for an astronomer because there’s nothing known in the sky that does that,” she said, adding: “It’s really quite close to us — about 4,000 light years away. It’s in our galactic backyard.’’ Astronomers theorised that it could have been the remnant of a massive star that had exploded. But now, legendary spoon bender Geller has offered his ideology that an imminent alien invasion is near. Taking to Instagram, the illusionist said: “A team mapping radio waves in the universe has discovered something unusual that releases a giant burst of energy three times an hour and it’s unlike anything astronomers have seen before. No doubt in my mind that this is connected to alien intelligence way way superior than ours. Start deciphering their messages! They are preparing us for a mass landing soon! The characteristics of the mystery object seemed to have matched something known as an ultra-long period magnetar. Such object has never been seen before. “It’s a type of slowly spinning neutron star that has been predicted to exist theoretically,” Dr Hurley-Walker explained. “But nobody expected to directly detect one like this because we didn’t expect them to be so bright. Somehow it’s converting magnetic energy to radio waves much more effectively than anything we’ve seen before.” But, if you believe what Uri Geller says, we better get ready for a points windfall, as everyone is going to die!!!! 

Only Fools and Horses actor Patrick Murray, who is best known for playing Mickey Pearce, revealed he was told he wouldn’t make it to Christmas after  being diagnosed with cancer. The 65-year-old shared news of his devastating illness earlier this week. Patrick explained the first primary diagnosis was “actually a lot worse than what it was, it showed up a lot of red flags that I had a tumour on my liver and three metastatics – which is cancer of the blood. “I was told it looks like I wouldn’t make Christmas, but the PET scan did show there was a tumour in my lung so I had that removed in October. They caught it early and right now I’m on chemo to make sure it doesn’t come back. If I left it a couple of months later, I could have been in real trouble. I probably wouldn’t be here now.” After opening up about his illness this week, Patrick tweeted: “Naturally I wanted to keep my own health problems private, but failing to fully endorse this ad would be selfish. Thanks to my ultra-scan I have a fighting chance. It showed my organs needed further investigation and tumours were spotted. This led to a PET scan which covers a much larger area. To my wonderful surprise these lesions were not cancerous but the scan did find an early-stage cancerous tumour in my lung. This has since been removed.” The star concluded: “A lot of people put these symptoms down to age and the discomfort to simply having a weak stomach. Please don’t ignore it if it persists. As for me, and thanks to the NHS, I can now see the same beautiful horizon as you.” Patrick appeared in a total of 20 episodes of Only Fool And Horses.  Since the show finished in 2003, Patrick has landed roles in big-screen productions, including The Firm and Curse Of The Pink Panther. After a couple more years of acting, Patrick eventually retired and became a taxi driver in Kent.

On This Day

  • 1607 – An estimated 200 square miles along the coasts of the Bristol Channel and Severn Estuary in England are destroyed by massive flooding, resulting in an estimated 2,000 deaths.
  • 1649 – Charles I of England is executed in Whitehall, London.
  • 1661 – Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England, is ritually executed more than two years after his death, on the 12th anniversary of the execution of the monarch he himself deposed.
  • 1835 – In the first assassination attempt against a President of the United States, Richard Lawrence attempts to shoot president Andrew Jackson, but fails and is subdued by a crowd, including several congressmen as well as Jackson himself.
  • 1945 – World War II: The Wilhelm Gustloff, overfilled with German refugees, sinks in the Baltic Sea after being torpedoed by a Soviet submarine, killing approximately 9,500 people.
  • 1969 – The Beatles’ last public performance, on the roof of Apple Records in London. The impromptu concert is broken up by the police.
  • 1972 – The Troubles: Bloody Sunday: British paratroopers open fire on anti-internment marchers in Derry, Northern Ireland, killing 13 people; another person later dies of injuries sustained.
  • 1982 – Richard Skrenta writes the first PC virus code, which is 400 lines long and disguised as an Apple boot program called “Elk Cloner”.


Last Meals

Matthew Reeves was an American man convicted of capital murder in Alabama and sentenced to death row. His case and execution generated controversy due to claims he was intellectually disabled and therefore ineligible for execution With an IQ score in the 60’s, he certainly wasn’t the smartest bee in the hive. 

On November 27th 1996, Reeves and his friends planned to rob a drug dealer. Reeves’ car broke down in Selma, Alabama, and Willie Johnson Jr., who had a pickup truck, offered to tow their car to Reeves’ house. Reeves rode in the bed of the truck, but when they arrived at the house, Reeves stuck a shotgun through the cab window and shot Johnson and stole his money. At a party that evening, Reeves “pretended to pump a shotgun and jerk his body around mocking the way Johnson had died.” Johnson’s body was found inside his truck on Thanksgiving morning.

Reeves was arrested at a house a few hours after the murder. Two accomplices also involved in the crime, one of whom was his brother, were arrested a few days later. Both accomplices pointed the finger at Reeves and claimed he had been the shooter. 

Reeves was sentenced to death on July 20th 1998. Reeves’ brother and co-defendant, Julius Reeves, was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. A third defendant, Brenda Scuttles, was also sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole.

Reeves’ lawyers argued that his trial lawyers provided ineffective assistance of counsel and “should have done more to try to show he is intellectually disabled.”. They claimed that because of this Reeves should not face the death sentence. On July 2nd 2021, the United States Supreme Court overturned the Eleventh U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decision that had vacated Reeves’ death sentence. The court decided in a 6–3 opinion, with the conservative majority reversing the circuit court. The Supreme Court stated that the Alabama state court had “correctly rejected claims that Matthew Reeves had ineffective counsel at trial because they did not hire a neuropsychologist to present evidence he is intellectually disabled.” 

Days before his execution, Reeves wrote a poem that hinted towards his thinking before his death. In his poem, shared on Twitter by Lee Hedgepeth, a digital reporter, Reeves continued, “Generations of a lot of sons of mothers, struggling will be victims of murders, fighting day by day to never be the victim to this killing machine. U want me dead but don’t know why, my color, my past, someone word, can u picture me being innocent, or did you just stereotype me,” before he concluded: “This system is not full proof, just think if you on protect the project houses, trailor park, shot gun houses, and brick houses, u too will be defending ur self, one day can equate to a sentence of eternal sleep.” 

Reeves’ lawyers had earlier argued that he’s intellectually disabled and the state should have made him understand the execution methods as well as help him in choosing a new execution method involving nitrogen. But when prosecution and defense experts carried a test on Reeves for intellectual disability, they reportedly found his IQ in the high 60s or low 70s. Last month, a federal court stated that state officials were “on notice that Reeves had IQ scores in the high 60s or low 70s, subaverage intellectual functioning, and had been found to be functionally illiterate…” 

A lot of people reacted online after his execution and also after the release of his poem. A user tweeted, “I thought he couldn’t read or write or understand anything. That’s the argument why he shouldn’t be accountable for robbery and murder, right?” The second one said, “Again can’t be a simpleton if he can write poetry.” “Matthew Reeves shot a man in the neck for $360 in cold  blood and then celebrated what he had done at a party the same night while still covered in his victim’s blood,” the third user added. 

Reeves was executed by lethal injection on January 27th 2022, at the age of 44. He refused a last meal and was pronounced dead at 9:24 p.m. and had no last words. Some of Johnson’s family members attended the execution and released a statement that said “After 26 years justice has finally been served. Our family can now have some closure.”

Last Week’s Birthdays

Olivia Colman (48), Christian Bale (48), Gene Hackman (92), Vanessa Redgrave (85), Phil Collins (71), Heather Graham (52), Katharine Ross (82), Tom Selleck (77), Marc Singer (74), Oprah Winfrey (68 ), Adam Lambert (40), Will Poulter (29), Tom Hopper (37), Ariel Winter (24), Elijah Wood (41), Alan Alda (86), Frank Darabont (63), Patton Oswalt (53), James Cromwell (82), Bridget Fonda (58), Alan Cumming (57), Frank Miller (65), Scott Glenn (83), Deep Roy (73), Ellen DeGeneres (64), Matthew Lillard (52), Kristen Schaal (44), Mischa Barton (36), Nastassja Kinski (61), Tatyana Ali (43), Adrian Edmondson (65), and Neil Diamond (81).

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