Dead Pool 22nd May 2016

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Another week flies by, another Dead Pool newsletter lands in your inbox. Alas no points, although one of our members came close with Ian Watkins, had she dropped the ’s’ in the name she would have scored points, but we all knew she meant the paedophile from The Lost Prophets, not the New Zealand actor…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

David-GinolaFormer France winger David Ginola is recovering in hospital in Monaco after a quadruple heart bypass operation. The 49-year-old former Newcastle, Tottenham, Aston Villa and Everton player, who retired in 2002, collapsed in the south of  France on Thursday. His surgeon, speaking with authority of the family, told the media that Ginola was “extremely lucky” to be alive. “David played a sort of charity football match. All of a sudden he collapsed and people thought it was a joke but after one or two minutes they realised it was serious,” said Gilles Dreyfus, professor of cardiac surgery at the Monaco Heart Centre. “Fortunately there was one person who had been trained in CPR, because otherwise he would have been brain dead. They then called the emergency services, who arrived eight minutes later with him in cardiac arrest. “They arrived with him in cardiac arrest, he was shocked four times on site, they were able to restore a normal heart rhythm and within 10 minutes a helicopter arrived to transfer him to Monaco Heart Centre. The decision to transfer him to the operating theatre was made and he immediately underwent a quadruple heart bypass, which was very straightforward although difficult. “It was a sequence of events that at every stage went absolutely fine, that is why he is here today. Luckier you can’t be. It’s an unbelievable story.”

sinead-oconnorSinéad O’Connor has been found safe, local police have confirmed, after a desperate hunt was launched to find the Irish singer when she disappeared on Sunday from a suburb of Chicago. News that she had not been seen since early on Sunday morning immediately sparked alarm as reports emerged on Monday that authorities were concerned for her health. Police in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette released a statement on Monday in which they said they were “seeking to check the wellbeing” of the 49-year-old. The singer has opened up about her struggles with suicidal thoughts in the past. In 2007, she told Oprah Winfrey that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and attempted suicide on her 33rd birthday. In recent weeks, she became embroiled in controversy after the death of Prince, who wrote her breakthrough hit Nothing Compares 2 U. The talkshow host Arsenio Hall filed a $5m lawsuit against O’Connor after she posted on Facebook to allege that Hall had given Prince drugs “over the decades”.

Tim healyTV star Tim Healy is recovering in hospital after being taken ill during the filming of the ITV show Benidorm. He was flown to Manchester from Spain on Saturday after his condition improved enough to allow him to travel. The media reported that Healy was taken ill almost a month ago and had been fighting for his life. An ITV spokesman said the 64-year-old was “feeling much better” and that filming of the show had been “adjusted to accommodate Tim’s absence”. It is understood his former wife Denise Welch flew to Spain at one point to visit him in hospital, where his wife Joan has been by his side. Healy, who was born in Newcastle and found fame in the 1980s’ show Auf Wiedersehen Pet, has played the cross-dressing character Les/Lesley in Benidorm since 2010.

Human MeatAnd finally, Chinese officials have issued an angry denial following claims the country has been marinating human  cadavers, putting them in cans and then selling them in African supermarkets. The outlandish rumour appears to have been started on Facebook, where a post featuring grisly images, supposedly of human meat being processed, went viral earlier this month. The post was picked up by Zambia’s Daily Post, among others, which published a report saying: “One cannot deny the possibilities (sic) of this being true since we all know that the Asians are among the largest population in the entire world. “Since China is so overpopulated to a point where there is no space to spit, what do they do with the dead bodies of the Chinese? Well the answer might be that they are shipping the bodies to Africa in the form of canned meat, and they make a profit during the process.” Yang Youming, China’s ambassador to Zambia, released a statement saying: “Today a local tabloid newspaper is openly spreading a rumor, claiming that the Chinese use human meat to make corned beef and sell it to Africa. This is completely a malicious slandering and vilification which is absolutely unacceptable to us,” he said in a statement. “We hereby express our utmost anger and the strongest condemnation over such an act.” Zambia’s Deputy Defense Minister Christopher Mulenga has pledged that the government will launch investigations into the reports.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Brian Eno (68), Zara Phillips (35), Pierce Brosnan (63), Debra Winger (61), Janet Jackson (50), Gabriella Sabatini (46), Bill Paxton (61), Enya (55), Jordan Knight (46), Sugar Ray Leonard (60), Chow Yun Fat (61), Tina Fey (46), Pete Townshend (71), Grace Jones (68), Cher (70), Judge Reinhold (59) and Mr. T (64).

The Last Word

Don’t die like I did. – George Best  d. 2005

Next week peeps!

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