Dead Pool 13th July 2014

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon all, whether you like it or not, welcome once again to the weekly round-up of celebrity demises. As you will see below, lots of what I would call very minor celebrities have actually died, alas, due to their mediocrity nobody has scored a single point! Maybe we’ll have better luck over the next week. So without further ado…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

The wife of Michael Schumacher claims the seven-times Formula One world champion is slowly improving after spending six months in a  coma following head injuries sustained in a skiing accident. Corinna Schumacher made her first public appearance this week since her husband was involved in the accident in the French Alpine resort of Méribel. Speaking to German women’s magazine, Neue Post, Corinna was quoted as saying: “He’s getting better, slowly certainly, but in any case he’s improving.” The 45-year-old driver is currently undergoing what is described as “a long phase of rehabilitation”, should we read that as dribbling into his baby food?

tracy-morganTracy Morgan is suing Walmart over the crash that seriously injured him and killed a fellow comedian. The lawsuit, filed on Thursday in a US district court in New Jersey, claims Walmart was negligent when a driver of one of its tractor-trailers rammed into Morgan’s limousine van. The complaint claims the retail giant should have known the driver had been awake for more than 24 hours, and that his commute of 700 miles from his home in Georgia to work in Delaware was “unreasonable. It also alleges the driver fell asleep at the wheel. Nothing like making money out of your friend’s death Tracy, well done that man!

The former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey, says he will support legislation that would make it legal for terminally ill people in England and Wales to receive help to end their lives. Lord Carey said that he has dropped his opposition to the Assisted Dying Bill “in the face of the reality of needless suffering”. But the current Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has called the bill “mistaken and dangerous”. Insisting it would not be “anti-Christian” to change the law, Lord Carey said the current situation risked “undermining the principle of human concern which should lie at the heart of our society”. He added: “Today we face a central paradox. In strictly observing the sanctity of life, the Church could now actually be promoting anguish and pain, the very opposite of a Christian message of hope.” Who’d have thought that a religious leader would actually talk sense for once?!?!

sad_thickeAnd finally, we’re putting Robin Thicke on suicide watch. Whether due to bad reviews or a feminist backlash, the Blurred Lines singer’s album has sold  fewer copies than ‘worst record of 2013’ and is well on its way to becoming the biggest musical flop of the decade. With 530 copies sold in the UK, 550 sold in Canada and fewer than 54 sold in Australia, Thicke’s latest album Paula has become the laughing stock of the music industry in just one week. Paula’s failure to chart was directly related to Thicke’s use of the album as a plea to get back his recently separated wife, after whom the album is named. She hates it, we hate it, bye Robin, wasn’t all that nice knowing you…

On This Day


Serial Killers That Have Never Been Caught by KoA

In a new series suggested by Nickie, we’ll be having a look at those seriously deranged murderers out there who are still at large, still very capable of finding and doing nasty things to you. If that isn’t enough to fuck you over, please read  on!

64407211172634494The Connecticut River Valley killer was/still is an unidentified killer believed responsible for a series of similar knife murders mostly in and around Claremont, New Hampshire in the 1980’s.

In 1985 and 1986, the skeletal remains of two women were recovered within about a thousand feet of each other in a wooded area in Kelleyville, New Hampshire. The condition of the remains made the cause of death difficult to determine, but certain factors pointed to multiple stab wounds. Between the recovery of the first and second bodies, a 36-year old woman was stabbed to death in a frenzied attack inside her home in Saxtons River, Vermont. Ten days later, the remains of the third missing woman were found; postmortem examination revealed evidence of multiple stab wounds.

At this point, investigators began examining prior homicides in the area and found two previous cases, in 1978 and 1981, that further reinforced the presence of a burgeoning serial killer. At the peak of the investigation, and after additional homicides and one non-fatal attack, investigators noted similarities in modus operandi, oft-used dump sites, and specific wound patterns that linked many of the murders, suggesting a common perpetrator.

Seven homicides are commonly cited as being conclusively linked to the Connecticut River Valley killer, all women, all stabbed multiple times.

Jane_boroskiThe killings remained unsolved and had apparently stopped when, late in the evening on August 6, 1988, 22-year old Jane Boroski, seven months pregnant, was returning from a county fair in Keene, New Hampshire, when she stopped at a closed convenience store in West Swanzey to purchase cola from a vending machine. Boroski returned to her car and began drinking the beverage when she took notice of a Jeep Wagoneer parked next to her. Via her rear-view mirror, Boroski then saw the driver of the vehicle walking around the back of her vehicle. He then approached her open window and asked her if the pay phone was working, at which time he immediately grabbed her and pulled her from the vehicle. Boroski struggled, and the man accused her of beating up his girlfriend and asked if she had Massachusetts plates on her car. Boroski responded that she had New Hampshire plates, but this did not deter her attacker, who proceeded to stab her 27 times before driving away and leaving her to die.

Boroski managed to return to her car and drive on Route 32 toward a friend’s house for help. As she neared the house, she noticed a vehicle driving in front of her and realised that it was her attacker. Boroski finally reached her friend’s home at which the occupants immediately came to her aid. Her attacker apparently performed a U-turn and slowly passed by the house as Boroski was tended to before speeding away into the night.

Boroski was treated at the hospital, where it was determined that the attack had resulted in a severed jugular vein, two collapsed lungs, a kidney laceration, and severed tendons in her knees and thumb. Fortunately, Boroski’s baby survived, although not without complications; Boroski’s daughter would later be diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy.

Boroski was able to provide authorities with a composite sketch and the first three characters of the attacker’s license plate. What a woman!

Despite two composite sketches, the formation of a task force, assistance from criminal profiler John Philpin and a handful of local suspects, no arrests were made in the Connecticut River Valley killings and the case grew cold as the killings ceased after the attack on Boroski.

Is he still out there?

Last Week’s Birthdays 

burtwardNed Beatty (77), Sylvester Stallone (68), George W. Bush (67), Nancy Reagan (92), Ringo Starr (74), Angelica Huston (63), Kevin Bacon (56), Brian Dennehy (76), Richard Roundtree (72), Tom Hanks (58), Sofia Vergara (42), Jessica Simpson (34),  Bill Cosby (77), Cheryl Ladd (63), Anna Friel (38), John Simm (44), Chiwetel Ejiofor (37), Richard Wilson (78), Courtney Love (50), Kelly McGillis (57), Eve Myles (36), Jack Whitehall (26), Shelley Duvall (65), Geoffrey Rush (63), Jennifer Saunders (56) and Burt Ward (69)

2013 League Table


Next week peeps!

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