Dead Pool 11th August 2013


Afternoon Poolers, deaths were a bit thin on the ground last week, I must have forgotten to send out my flying monkeys, although one did escape and got me a munchkin. Although many notable deaths were recorded, I for one struggled to find names I’d even heard of, luckily for us there is a whole hoard of news to be getting on with.

Look who you could have had:

In other news

elton-johnElton John, the man famous for having two first names, is recovering at home following surgery to remove his appendix. The 66 year old ignored the pain he was in for ten shows before he decided to seek attention. ‘I could have died’ he enthused to the gathered reporters, well you should have gone to the doctor nine shows ago you tit! Alas, he’s expected to make a full recovery in six weeks.

148165-george-w-bush-637x0-1Another hapless wonder recovering from surgery is George W. Bush. The 67 year old underwent a small procedure to insert a stent in a blocked heart artery. Everyone’s favourite ex-President is in high spirits and isn’t expected to die any time soon. Strangely his approval rating went through the roof when people were thinking he was going to peg it, the first time its been positive in his entire career.

Elmore-Leonard-575754-1-402Elmore Leonard, author of Get Shorty and Out Of Sight has been hospitalised following a stroke. The 87 year old is a fighter we’ve been reliably told and is getting better every day, which probably means he’s stopped dribbling into his soup and has started to slur at his nurses. Much like Andrew Marr, who’s now sadly recovering from his stroke.

f41d91db-dade-3a9e-8077-2375ee489220You may have heard that Dustin Hoffman has been treated for cancer. News is very sketchy on what kind of cancer he had but it was surgically removed and now the 75 year old is ‘feeling great’. Sounds quick and painless, must have been a brain tumour.  It’s also nice to see him pictured confirming that he does actually own a hand. Well done Dustin!

2013 League Table


Next Week peeps!

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