Dead Pool 30th November 2014

Afternoon all, welcome once again to your weekly edition of the Dead Pool, I promise there will be no cricket jokes about bouncers not fucking about here! Remember, there’s only a month to go now so keep working on next years list, because it has to be more inspired than this year!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Merle Barwis, 113, American-born Canadian supercentenarian, was nation’s oldest resident.
• Frankie Fraser, 90, British gangster, complications from surgery.
• Phillip Hughes, 25, Australian cricketer, vertebral artery dissection leading to subarachnoid haemorrhage.
• P. D. James, 94, English crime novelist (Adam Dalgliesh series, The Children of Men, Death Comes to Pemberley).
• Chespirito, 85, Mexican playwright, actor and screenwriter (El Chavo del Ocho, El Chapulín Colorado), heart failure.

In Other News

Lars von Trier says he is worried that he will not be able to make any more films now that he has quit drinking alcohol and no longer uses drugs. The Danish film director told the newspaper Politiken: “No creative expression of artistic value has  ever been carried out by former alcoholics and drug addicts.” Von Trier, who has directed graphic films such as Antichrist and Nymphomaniac, said he will be sober for 90 days as of Sunday and is going to meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous every day. We reckon he’ll fall off the wagon and make more movies, much to the disappointment of all.

Actor Mickey Rourke returned to the boxing ring last Friday at the age of 62, defeating a fighter less than half his age in an exhibition bout. Rourke sent 29-year-old Pasadena native Elliot Seymour to the canvas twice in the second round before the referee stopped the fight. The bout at a Moscow concert hall was Rourke’s first fight in 20 years. He took a break from acting in the early 1990s, finishing a three-year pro boxing career with six wins and two draws. He hinted that the return to the ring has helped him cope with unspecified personal issues. Those issues were the death of his pet Chihuahua, not so tough now is he…

Pelé “is in better condition” though he remains in a special care unit being treated  for a urinary tract infection. The 74-year-old is in hospital in São Paulo receiving renal support treatment, which helps kidneys to filter waste products from the blood, after surgery to remove kidney stones earlier this month. He is not on vasoactive drugs or other supportive therapies, the hospital said. Pelé, often called the greatest player in history, has suffered a long list of health problems in the past decade, including emergency eye surgery for a detached retina and a hip replacement.

Burt Reynolds is having to sell off hundreds of items of personal memorabilia in an attempt to pay outstanding mortgage payments. The actor, known for Smokey and the Bandit and Boogie Nights, is selling off over 600 items in a Las Vegas auction because he’s failed to pay his outstanding $700,000 mortgage since 2010 and is in danger of losing everything. We’d better keep an eye on him in case he goes Robin Williams on us!

And finally, The Office for National Statistics have confirmed that last year had the lowest ever number of winter deaths since records began. An estimated 18,200 excess winter deaths occurred in 2013-14, the lowest number since records began in 1950-51, which sort of bolsters why our scoring has been very low this year. Last winter was notably warmer than in previous years and had a relatively mild flu season which contributed to the lower number of deaths. Unsurprisingly, of the 18,200 excess deaths, 14,000 were in the over-75s, so best keep that in mind for your list for next year.

On This Day

• 1872 – The first-ever international football match takes place at Hamilton Crescent, Glasgow, between Scotland and England.
• 1934 – The LNER Class A3 4472 Flying Scotsman becomes the first steam locomotive to be authenticated as reaching 100 mph.
• 1936 – In London, the Crystal Palace is destroyed by fire.
• 1940 – Lucille Ball marries Desi Arnaz in Greenwich, Connecticut.
• 1954 – In Sylacauga, Alabama, United States, the Hodges meteorite crashes through a roof and hits a woman taking an afternoon nap in the only documented case of a human being hit by a rock from space.
• 1982 – Michael Jackson‘s second solo album, Thriller is released worldwide. It will become the best-selling record album in history.
• 1998 – Exxon and Mobil sign a US$73.7 billion agreement to merge, thus creating ExxonMobil, the world’s largest company.

Deaths

• 1900 – Oscar Wilde, Irish author and poet (b. 1854)
• 1979 – Zeppo Marx, American actor and singer (b. 1901)
• 2007 – Evel Knievel, American motorcycle rider and stuntman (b. 1938)
• 2013 – Paul Walker, American actor and producer (b. 1973)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Miley Cyrus (22), Ed Harris (64), Christina Applegate (43), Jon Stewart (52), Don Cheadle (50), Tina Turner (75), Sarah Hyland (24), Tom Sizemore (53), Robin Givens (50), Judd Nelson (55), Randy Newman (71), Diane Ladd (79), Natasha Bedingfield (33), Stephen Merchant (40) and Bruno Tonioli (59).

2014 League Table

[confidential]

Next week peeps!