Dead Pool 10th June 2018

After what seems like weeks of no deaths, we’re suddenly overrun by a deluge of suicides and natural causes! There’s a couple in the list from May that we missed due to poor reporting on the media’s part, and surprisingly, nobody scored, even though we all knew Stringfellow had cancer. Let’s hope next week brings in some points.    

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Johnnie Keyes, 78, American pornographic actor (Behind the Green Door), stroke.  
• Kate Spade, 55, American fashion designer (Kate Spade New York), suicide by hanging.  
• Mary Wilson, Baroness Wilson of Rievaulx, 102, British poet, Spouse of the Prime Minister (1964–1970, 1974–1976), stroke.  
• Glynn Edwards, 87, British actor (Minder, Get Carter, The Paper Lads).  
• Jerry Maren, 98, American actor (The Wizard of Oz), heart failure.
• Peter Stringfellow, 77, English businessman and nightclub owner, cancer.  
• Anthony Bourdain, 61, American chef, author and television host (No Reservations, Parts Unknown, The Layover), 4-time Emmy winner, suicide by hanging.  
• Eunice Gayson, 90, British actress (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, The Revenge of Frankenstein).  
• Danny Kirwan, 68, British Hall of Fame guitarist (Fleetwood Mac, Tramp).

In Other News

For the first time in 50 years, Radio 4 comedy panel show Just A Minute was not hosted by Nicholas Parsons. The 94-year-old broadcaster, who has been at the helm of the  programme for more than 900 episodes, was replaced by regular panellist Gyles Brandreth. The unexpected absence led to a minor frenzy on Twitter, with one fan saying “hell had frozen over”. But the BBC’s head of radio comedy explained that Parsons was “taking a couple of days off”. Julia McKenzie tweeted that Parsons is “totally fine” and the “apocalypse is not upon us”. The BBC said he will be recording an edition of ‘Just a Minute’ this Wednesday as usual and will be back on air in a couple of weeks. Parsons began presenting the panel show in 1967, ensuring that players of the game speak on a subject for 60 seconds without hesitation, repetition or deviation. When introducing the show, former MP Brandreth said: “After 50 years at the helm he quite rightly thinks he should be allowed a day off.”  

Comedian Michael McIntyre was robbed by two men on a moped while he was parked outside his children’s school, his publicist said. The men smashed his car windows with a hammer on Monday before taking his watch and fleeing, it was reported. His wife Kitty said the star was “fine” after the robbery at about 14:00 BST on North End Road in Golders Green, north-west London. Asked if they were concerned about the family’s safety, Ms McIntyre said “no”. Local residents spoke to BBC Radio London following the robbery. One resident, who has lived on the leafy road for 30 years, said: “I’m not worried because I don’t wear a Rolex and don’t drive around in a Range Rover.” Sadly the whole event has supplied McIntyre with a slew of material for his upcoming shows.  

The Queen has had surgery on her eye to remove a cataract. A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “I can confirm that the Queen successfully underwent a short planned procedure to treat a cataract last month.” The 92-year-old monarch had been seen wearing sunglasses at recent events, including the Royal Windsor Horse Show, but did not cancel any engagements. The Queen was treated as a day patient at the private King Edward VII’s hospital in London. In July 1995, the Queen Mother had a cataract operation at the age of 94. A family history of cataracts can increase a person’s risk of developing them. So we don’t have a Queen who has decided to go ‘cool’ in her twilight years, just a blind old bat. 

A crocodile has killed a Protestant pastor who was baptising followers near a lake in southern Ethiopia. Docho Eshete was conducting the  ceremony for about 80 people on Sunday morning at Lake Abaya in Arba Minch town’s Merkeb Tabya district. Residents and police told Dead Pool Media that a crocodile leapt from the water, in what can only be described as an act of God during the baptism and attacked him. Pastor Docho died after being bitten on his legs, back and hands. “He baptised the first person and he passed on to another one. All of a sudden, a crocodile jumped out of the lake and grabbed the pastor,” local resident Ketema Kairo told us. Despite huge efforts, fishermen and residents could not save pastor Docho. They used fishing nets to prevent the crocodile from taking the pastor’s body into the lake, luckily the crocodile escaped. 

On This Day

• 671 – Emperor Tenji of Japan introduces a water clock (clepsydra) called Rokoku. The instrument, which measures time and indicates hours, is placed in the capital of Ōtsu.  
• 1692 – Salem witch trials: Bridget Bishop is hanged at Gallows Hill near Salem, Massachusetts, for “certaine Detestable Arts called Witchcraft & Sorceries”.  
• 1786 – A landslide dam on the Dadu River created by an earthquake ten days earlier collapses, killing 100,000 in the Sichuan province of China.  
• 1886 – Mount Tarawera in New Zealand erupts, killing 153 people and burying the famous Pink and White Terraces. Eruptions continue for three months creating a large, 17 km long fissure across the mountain peak.  
• 1935 – Dr. Robert Smith takes his last drink, and Alcoholics Anonymous is founded in Akron, Ohio, United States, by him and Bill Wilson.

Deaths

• 323 BC – Alexander the Great, Macedonian king (b. 356 BC)  
• 1967 – Spencer Tracy, American actor (b. 1900)
• 1993 – Les Dawson, English comedian, actor, writer and presenter (b. 1931)  
• 2004 – Ray Charles, American singer-songwriter, pianist, and actor (b. 1930)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Natalie Portman (37), Johnny Depp (55), Eddie Marsan (50), Michael J. Fox (57), Griffin Dunne (63), Nancy Sinatra (78), Kanye West (41), Colin Baker (75), Michael Cera (30), Liam Neeson (66), Karl Urban (46), Bill Hader (40), Anna Torv  (39), Helen Baxendale (48), Tom Jones (78), Bear Grylls (44), Anna Kournikova (37), Iggy Azalea (28), Jason Isaacs (55), Paul Giamatti (51), Robert Englund (71), Sandra Bernhard (63), Gianna Michaels (35), Josie Lawrence (59), Mark Wahlberg (47),  Mel Giedroyc (50), Angelina Jolie (43), Noah Wyle (47), Bruce Dern (82), Sean Pertwee (54), Russell Brand (43), Bradley Walsh (58), Imogen Poots (29), James Purefoy (54) and Suzi Quatro (68).