Unsurprisingly, nobody listed Gene Wilder. Often is the case that well loved celebrities never make the list. Remember, if you want to win it, you have to be unscrupulous and harsh.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Mr. Fuji, 82, American professional wrestler and manager (WWF).
• Darrell Ward, 52, American reality television personality (Ice Road Truckers), plane crash.
• Gene Wilder, 83, American actor (The Producers, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Young Frankenstein), screenwriter and author, complications of Alzheimer’s disease.
• Doris McLemore, 89, American teacher, last fluent speaker of the Wichita language.
• Joe Sutter, 95, American aeronautical engineer, chief designer of the Boeing 747.
• Jon Polito, 65, American actor (Miller’s Crossing, The Rocketeer, Homicide: Life on the Street), cancer.
• Islam Karimov, 78, Uzbekistani politician, President (since 1990), stroke.

In Other News

We were going to lead this week with the Uzbek President/Dictator, Islam Karimov, having a stroke. Alas he died. So that put a big spanner in the works for us at Death Towers, but we’ll lead with the story anyway.

It does leave central Asia’s most populous country in a state of turmoil and political uncertainty. The Uzbek government did not confirm the reports at first but played funeral music on state channels. Later on Friday the government eventually released a statement saying the 78-year-old president had died. Karimov has no official successor. The most likely candidate to replace him appears to be Uzbekistan’s long-time prime minister, Shavkat Mirziyoyev. There is little prospect that the country of 31 million will democratise, after a quarter of a century characterised by repression, the boiling of prisoners and unflinching authoritarian rule. Even by the standards of the region, Karimov treated manifestations of dissent harshly. The upheaval has sparked much uncertainty for the Karimov family, his daughter, Gulnara Karimova, was for a long time considered a potential successor to her father and was a highly public figure has disappeared. Perhaps we should be looking at listing a few Uzbek elites in the near future.

Jeremy Vine almost got run over by an irate woman in a car as he was cycling home. The lady involved in the alleged road-rage incident has said his “dangerous” cycling provoked her foul-mouthed response. Vine shared the footage of the alleged road rage incident with his Facebook and Twitter followers on Tuesday. The 51-year-old filmed the “horrible moment” on a helmet-mounted camera while cycling home in Kensington, London after hosting his show on Friday 26th August. Have a look at the video yourself and make up your own mind. One thing is for sure, don’t have a wobbly at a cyclist when they work for the BBC.

And finally, an emergency response was initiated at a school in Ohio after around 40 children ingested Bhut Jolokia peppers – one of the hottest species in existence. An unidentified student brought the peppers into Milton Union Middle School, West Milton, and apparently shared them among other students aged 11 to 14. Police and emergency responders were contacted on Friday after the students began to exhibit symptoms such as blotchy skin, hives, sweating, watering eyes and general discomfort. Five students had to be hospitalised. The students “took these peppers voluntarily”, according to a police investigation. “We all drank like 10 cartons of milk,” eighth grade student Cody Schmidt told the newspaper, adding that the pepper was “really hot”. The school’s superintendent, Brad Ritchey, said: “The response of emergency services was amazing, deputies and help from surrounding paramedics. Research conducted in 1980 found a 68 kilogram human would need to eat at least 1.3 kilograms of the hottest chillies in one sitting for the peppers to have a lethal effect.

On This Day

• 1666 – In London, England, the most destructive damage from the Great Fire occurs.
• 1882 – Thomas Edison flips the switch to the first commercial electrical power plant in history, lighting one square mile of lower Manhattan. This is considered by many as the day that began the electrical age.
• 1888 – George Eastman registers the trademark Kodak and receives a patent for his camera that uses roll film.
• 1998 – Google is founded by Larry Page and Sergey Brin, two students at Stanford University.

Deaths

• 2001 – Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, American radio host and actor (b. 1962)
• 2006 – Steve Irwin, Australian zoologist and television host (b. 1962)
• 2014 – Joan Rivers, American comedian, television host, and author (b. 1933)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Paul Rubens (64), Daniel Stern (59), Shania Twain (51), Jack Black (47), Jason Priestley (47), LeAnne Rimes (34), Florence Welch (30), Elliott Gould (78), Rebecca DeMornay (57), John McCain (80), Michael Chiklis (53), Cameron Diaz (44), Warren Buffett (86), Van Morrison (71), Richard Gere (67), Chris Tucker (45), Lily Tomlin (77), Barry Gibb (70), Gloria Estefan (59), Keanu Reeves (51), Salma Hayek (50), Jimmy Connors (64), Lennox Lewis (51) and Charlie Sheen (51).

The Last Word

Now I can cross the Shifting Sands. – L. Frank Baum, author of The Wizard of Oz.

• Note: Baum was referring to the Shifting Sands, the impassable desert surrounding the Land of Oz.

Next week peeps!

No points to award this week, but we do have the joy of reading about Richard Branson falling on his face. If that’s not enough for you, then please take a moment to find a piece of your soul that cares, as the Storm Trooper who hit his head on a door frame has passed away. We’re not sure if he’s actually dead, he might come back as a ghost in subsequent sequels.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Sir Antony Jay, 86, English broadcaster, director and writer (Yes Minister).
• Michael Leader, 78, British actor (EastEnders, Star Wars – clumsy Star Wars stormtrooper).
• Steven Hill, 94, American actor (Mission: Impossible, Law & Order, The Firm).
• Walter Scheel, 97, German politician, President of West Germany (1974–1979).
• Marvin Kaplan, 89, American actor (It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Alice, The Great Race).

In Other News

Sir Richard Branson says he thought he was “going to die” after crashing his bike on Caribbean island Virgin Gorda. The businessman said he was “extremely fortunate” only to have suffered a cracked cheek and torn ligaments. Sir Richard said he was cycling down a hill when he hit a speed bump, and “the next thing I knew, I was being hurled over the handlebars and my life was literally flashing before my eyes.” His bicycle “went flying off the cliff and disappeared”, he said. In a post on the Virgin website, the 66-year-old said: “I was heading down a hill towards Leverick Bay when it suddenly got really dark and I managed to hit a sleeping policeman hump in the road head on. “I really thought I was going to die. I went flying head-first towards the concrete road, but fortunately my shoulder and cheek took the brunt of the impact, and I was wearing a helmet that saved my life. “We’ve since recovered the crumpled bicycle, completely destroyed. My cheek has been badly damaged and my knee, chin, shoulder and body severely cut.” Sir Richard said his assistant, Helen Clarke, was first on the scene as he was “lying prostrate on the road” and then another member of his team, George, “sprinted from the bottom of the hill” to assist. The accident happened on the fifth anniversary of a fire which destroyed his luxury home on Necker Island.

Phil Collins has addressed his former alcohol addiction and said he came close to nearly dying due to heavy drinking. The 65-year-old grammy-award winning singer explained he started drinking more after his third marriage broke up and his family moved away to Miami. Collins said he was in turn left with an emotional vacuum and began drinking excessively. “There’s a chapter in it about the drinking, which escalated when my third marriage broke up, and I retired,” he told The New York Times while talking about his new memoir I’m Not Dead Yet. “I was left with this huge void. I didn’t want to work because I wanted to be with the kids, but the kids weren’t there anymore, because they moved to Miami, and I was still in Switzerland.” “You start drinking, and then you start drinking too much. Then it physically hurts you. I came very close to dying at that point. I’m being honest about that. The book is honest, it’s self-deprecating. I’m not shirking my responsibilities. I apologise when I need to.” Collins has spoken about his struggle with alcohol in the past, explaining that heavy drinking nearly cost him his life and he would open a bottle of wine at 11am in the morning at the height of his drinking. Once a drinker, always a drinker.

Singapore prime minister Lee Hsien Loong caused a scare when he fainted briefly while delivering a lengthy televised speech on Sunday, but he resumed speaking after resting. The 64-year-old cancer survivor, son of the city-state’s late founding leader Lee Kuan Yew, suddenly stopped speaking more than two hours into his speech and had to be helped off the stage. When he returned about an hour and 20 minutes later, the crowd in the packed auditorium gave him a standing ovation and thousands of well-wishers expressed relief on social media. Aides blamed fatigue and dehydration and ruled out a stroke. “Thank you for waiting for me. I gave everybody a scare,” said Lee, who has been in power since 2004. He said he fainted during the speech, part of celebrations linked to Singapore’s 51st anniversary as a republic on August 9th. “I think that’s what happened. I’ve never had so many doctors look at me all at once, they think I’m all right. But anyway I’m going to have a full check-up after this.” Lee had been on his feet for more than two hours when he stunned the audience as he slouched over the lectern before cameras cut away to his listeners during a live broadcast. Lee underwent surgery for prostate cancer last year and has received the all-clear from doctors. He survived a bout of lymphoma, a form of cancer, in 1992.

A Vietnamese woman has admitted to paying for her foot and part of her arm to be cut off in order to claim an insurance payout, police say. In May, the 30-year-old woman, named as “Ly Thi N”, pretended she had been hit by a train, the People’s Police Newspaper of Vietnam reports. But she has now reportedly admitted to having paid a friend $2,200 (£1,660) to sever her limbs. The aim was to claim more than $150,000 from her insurance company. A supposed bystander, “Doan Van D”, the same person who did the cutting, had called an ambulance after “finding” the injured woman on a Hanoi railroad. Pictures published by the official police newspaper showed the woman three months later, with her wounds healed. She is believed to run a struggling business, according to local media. Police have dropped the criminal investigation against both suspects, the Tuoi Tre newspaper reports, after all, she’s a bit armless and can’t run anywhere…

And finally, the world’s oldest man has been named as Indonesian Mbah Gotho, who is 145 years old, with documentation that says he was born in 1870. Mr Gotho said he began preparing for his death in 1992, even having a gravestone made, but 24 years later he is still alive. He has now outlived all 10 of his siblings, his four wives and his children. Though his age is impressive, Mr Gotho told a regional news network: “What I want is to die.” For the past three months he has needed to bathed and spoon-fed, and is becoming increasingly frail. Mr Gotho has official documentation which shows his age, and the Indonesian records office says it has confirmed his birth date as December 31 1870. If this is correct, this would earn him the title of the oldest person ever, a title currently held by French centenarian Jeanne Calment, who was 122 when she died – 23 years younger than Mr Gotho. If the documents cannot be independently verified, however, Mr Gotho will not go down in the record books. There are a number of people who claim to have broken Jeanne Calment’s record, such as Nigerian James Olofintuyi, who claims to be 171, and Dhaqabo Ebba from Ethiopia, who claims to be 163, but without verifiable documents they cannot be given her title. The centenarian, from Central Java, says he spends his time listening to the radio, as his eyesight is no longer good enough to watch television. When asked the secret to a long life, he said: “The recipe is just patience”.

On This Day

• 1833 – The Slavery Abolition Act 1833 receives Royal Assent, abolishing slavery through most of the British Empire.
• 1898 – Caleb Bradham invents the carbonated soft drink that will later be called “Pepsi-Cola“.
• 1957 – U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond begins a filibuster to prevent the Senate from voting on Civil Rights Act of 1957; he stopped speaking 24 hours and 18 minutes later, the longest filibuster ever conducted by a single Senator.
• 1963 – March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom: The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. gives his I Have a Dream speech.
• 1963 – Emily Hoffert and Janice Wylie are murdered in their Manhattan apartment, prompting the events that would lead to the passing of the Miranda Rights.
• 1988 – Ramstein air show disaster: Three aircraft of the Frecce Tricolori demonstration team collide and the wreckage falls into the crowd. Seventy-five are killed and 346 seriously injured.

Deaths

• 1978 – Robert Shaw, English actor, screenwriter, and author (b. 1927)
• 1987 – John Huston, American actor, director, and screenwriter (b. 1906)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kenny Rogers (78), Carrie-Anne Moss (49), Alecia Witt (41), Hayden Panettiere (27), RJ Mitte (24), Usain Bolt (30), Tori Amos (53), Ty Burrell (49), Kirsten Wiig (43), Barbara Eden (85), Shelley Long (67), Steve Guttenberg (58), Dave Chappelle (43), Rupert Grint (28), Stephen Fry (59), Sean Connery (86), Tom Skerritt (83), Gene Simmons (67), Elvis Costello (62), Tim Burton (58), Billy Ray Cyrus (55), Claudia Schiffer (46), Rachel Bilson (35), Alexander Skarsgard (40), Melissa McCarthy (46) and Macauley Culkin (36).

The Last Word

“Oh, what’s the bloody point?”

• Kenneth Williams, British actor and raconteur. This was the final entry in his diary.

Next week peeps!

Finally we’ve had a notable  death at long last! Shân, Dave, Alex & Eliza all correctly guessed that João Havelange, the Brazilian football executive, would kick the bucket this year. 50 points each. We’re pretty much three quarters of the way through the year and the leader board is quite tight at the top so anything could happen!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Dalian Atkinson, 48, English footballer (Ipswich Town, Aston Villa), tased.
• James Woolley, 49, American keyboardist (Nine Inch Nails, 2wo), Grammy winner (1993).
• João Havelange, 100, Brazilian football executive, President of FIFA (1974–1998).
• John McLaughlin, 89, American political commentator and television personality (The McLaughlin Group).
• Arthur Hiller, 92, Canadian-born American film director (Love Story, The Hospital, The In-Laws).
• Jack Riley, 80, American actor (The Bob Newhart Show, Rugrats, Spaceballs), pneumonia.
• Brian Rix, 92, British actor (And the Same to You) and activist (Mencap).
• Lou Pearlman, 62, American record producer, music manager (Backstreet Boys, NSYNC) and convicted criminal.
• Matt Roberts, 38, American rock guitarist (3 Doors Down) and songwriter (“Kryptonite“), apparent prescription drug overdose.
• Lilia Cuntapay, 81, Filipino actress (Shake, Rattle & Roll, Brokedown Palace, Six Degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay).

In Other News

Television presenter Charlie Webster “nearly died” after falling ill with a rare strain of malaria at the opening ceremony of the Olympics, according to her mother, shortly after completing a 3,000 mile charity ride to make it to the games. At first, doctors treating the 33-year-old from Sheffield thought she was suffering from exhaustion and dehydration when she felt unwell and started vomiting at the event a fortnight ago. But over the following few days, Webster’s health sharply deteriorated and her family said that she fell unconscious last Thursday, although news of the seriousness of her condition only publicly emerged a week later. The presenter – who has worked for Sky Sports and ITV – remains seriously ill with kidney failure, but has been taken out of an induced coma and can speak to family members by her bedside, according to a family statement. On Thursday, doctors said they are “very happy” with her “neurological results” suggesting she has not suffered any brain damage. However they cautioned that her kidneys were “still not responding to treatment and she remains on dialysis.”

Pauline Cafferkey, the nurse who nearly died after contracting Ebola as a volunteer in west Africa, has been charged by a regulatory body with concealing her high temperature when she returned to the UK. Cafferkey, hailed as a hero for her work in the Ebola treatment units of Sierra Leone, could be struck off by the Nursing and Midwifery Council if the charges are proved against her. The NMC alleged that the Scottish nurse “allowed an incorrect temperature to be recorded” on 29th December 2014 and “intended to conceal from Public Health England staff that you had a temperature higher than 38˚C”. A high temperature is one of the first symptoms of Ebola haemorrhagic fever. NHS workers who returned from volunteering were all supposed to fill in questionnaires about their exposure to the virus in their patients and have their temperatures taken by PHE staff at Heathrow airport. Cafferkey nearly died twice – the first time after being diagnosed in Scotland. She was flown to London to be treated in a special tented Ebola isolation unit at the Royal Free hospital. Last October she developed meningitis as a result of the Ebola virus and had to be transferred to the Royal Free once more. Her condition became critical but she pulled through.

Police have renewed a public appeal for information after three human feet were discovered within a few hundred yards of each other. The first foot was found in Weston Park East in Bath, Somerset, in February, the second was discovered in the garden of a property in Weston Park in July, and the third in the garden of a property in Cranwells Park earlier this month. Avon and Somerset police said the first foot was more than likely to be an exhibit from a medical or educational establishment and was not the result of a crime. The force said it anticipated that inquiries into the second and third feet, which are still undergoing tests, are likely to come to the same conclusion. Temporary DI Paul Catton said: “We are confident no crime has been committed and strongly believe the feet have come from an old private collection. “All three feet show signs they have come into contact with animals and it is likely that they have been moved to the locations they were found from a specific source. Dare I quote Arthur Conan Doyle? “Come, Watson, come!’ he cried. ‘The game is afoot!”

And finally, three people, including two children, have died after their throats were slit by glass-coated strings used for flying kites on India’s Independence Day. Saanchi Goyal, 3, and Harry, 4, were looking out through the sunroof of their cars in different parts of Delhi when sharp strings slit their throats. Zafar Khan, 22, died in the same manner when he was riding his motorbike. Glass-coated strings are used to bring down competitors’ kites, but they also end up injuring and killing people. Many Indians fly kites to celebrate festivals and important occasions like the Independence Day, which is celebrated on 15th August. But every year, there are reports of people dying or getting wounded from the kite strings – locally known as manja – treated with powdered glass or metal to sharpen them. The Delhi government has now banned the use of sharpened manja to fly kites and promised to run campaigns to educate people about the dangers of using such strings.

On This Day

• 1770 – James Cook formally claims eastern Australia for Great Britain, naming it New South Wales.
• 1897 – Oldsmobile, a brand of American automobiles, is founded.
• 1911 – The Mona Lisa is stolen by a Louvre employee.
• 1945 – Physicist Harry Daghlian is irradiated in a criticality accident during an experiment with the Demon core at Los Alamos National Laboratory during the Manhattan Project. He does not turn into a superhero, he dies a horrible death 25 days later.
• 1957 – The Soviet Union successfully conducts a long-range test flight of the R-7 Semyorka, the first intercontinental ballistic missile.
• 1961 – Motown releases what would be its first #1 hit, “Please Mr. Postman” by The Marvelettes.

Deaths

• 1614 – Elizabeth Báthory, Hungarian serial killer (b. 1560)
• 1940 – Leon Trotsky, Russian theorist and politician, founded the Red Army (b. 1879)

Last Weeks Birthdays

Steve Martin (71), Halle Berry (50), Mila Kunis (33), Magic Johnson (57), Ben Affleck (44), Natasha Henstridge (42), Jennifer Lawrence (26), Princess Anne (66), Julie Newmar (83), James Cameron (62), Madonna (58), Steve Carell (54), Ulrika Jonsson (49), Belinda Carlisle (58), Sean Penn (56), Donnie Wahlberg (48), Robert Redford (80), Denis Leary (59), Madeleine Stowe (58), Christian Slater (47), Edward Norton (47), Jim Carter (68), Matthew Perry (47), Bill Clinton (70), Robert Plant (68), Andrew Garfield (33) and Amy Adams (42).

The Last Word

“Let it be known that homosexuals are not cowards.” – Willem Arondeus, Dutch artist and writer, member of the Anti-Nazi resistance.

• He led a group in bombing the Amsterdam Public Records Office, destroying thousands of files to prevent the Nazis from identifying Jews. Within a week, Arondeus and the other members of the group were arrested. Twelve, including Arondeus, were executed by firing squad.

Next week peeps!

As yet another pointless edition of the Dead Pool lands in your inbox, we can only hope that next week brings in the names we need. Although this week did have people that we have actually heard of on the list, which makes a refreshing change!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Padraig Duggan, 67, Irish folk musician (Clannad, The Duggans).
• Gerald Grosvenor, 6th Duke of Westminster, 64, British billionaire property developer.
• Barry Jenner, 75, American actor (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Dallas, Family Matters), acute myeloid leukaemia.
• Kenny Baker, 81, British actor (Star Wars, Time Bandits, Flash Gordon).

In Other News

The Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe is set to move out of Broadmoor psychiatric hospital and back into jail after a mental health tribunal ruled him sane enough to do so, sources said. The serial killer, 70, has spent 32 years inside the high-security institution in Berkshire after murdering 13 women and attempting to murder seven more between 1976 and 1981. Sutcliffe, a former lorry driver from Bradford, now calls himself Peter Coonan. Most of his victims were prostitutes who were mutilated and beaten to death. The decision of the tribunal has been referred to the Ministry of Justice, which still needs to confirm the move. Sutcliffe was given 20 life terms for the murders and was caught when police found him with a prostitute in his car. A Ministry of Justice spokesman said: “Peter Coonan will remain locked up and will never be released for his evil crimes. ”Decisions over whether prisoners are to be sent back to prison from secure hospitals are based on clinical assessments made by independent medical staff. And I bet their assessment was, why waste more money on him, let the prison population deal with him once and for all.

The former Cuban leader Fidel Castro has made a rare public appearance at an event to mark his 90th birthday. He appeared at a gala in Havana’s Karl Marx Theatre with his brother, President Raul Castro, and Cuba’s ally, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro. In his first public appearance since April, he appeared frail and remained seated during the event. Too frail to smoke the 90 meter cigar rolled in his honour! The masterpiece took 10 days to create with the help of several assistants who worked 12 hours a day to roll the extraordinary cigar. It was presented on long tables in an old colonial fort overlooking the harbour of Havana.

Pope Francis has surprised 20 former prostitutes by popping in for a visit at their house in Rome. The women had been rescued from their pimps and are being given shelter and protection at an apartment run by a Catholic charity in Italy’s capital. The pontiff ‘chatted’ to the women, some trafficked from Africa and elsewhere in Europe, for more than an hour! The 79-year-old cleric has repeatedly described human trafficking as a “crime against humanity”. The prostitutes were all aged about 30 and had “suffered serious physical abuse” and now lived under “Vatican protection”. Pope Francis encouraged the former sex workers “to be strong” as they started their new lives with the help of the Pope John XXIII Community. Sounds like our newish pontiff has plenty of spunk for a man of his age!

On This Day

• 1885 – Japan’s first patent is issued to the inventor of a rust-proof paint.
• 1893 – France becomes the first country to introduce motor vehicle registration.
• 1969 – Operation Banner: British troops are deployed in Northern Ireland.
• 1980 – Lech Wałęsa leads strikes at the Gdańsk, Poland shipyards.

Deaths

• 1951 – William Randolph Hearst, American publisher and politician, founded the Hearst Corporation (b. 1863)
• 1988 – Enzo Ferrari, Italian race car driver and businessman, founded Ferrari (b. 1898)

Last Week’s Birthdays

David Duchovny (56), Charlize Theron (41), Abbie Cornish (34), Dustin Hoffman (79), Roger Federer (35), Sam Elliott (72), Melanie Griffith (59), Gillian Anderson (48), Eric Bana (48), Anna Kendrick (31), Audrey Tautou (40), Rosanna Arquette (57), Antonio Banderas (56), Hulk Hogan (63), Chris Hemsworth (33), George Hamilton (77), Mark Knopfler (67), Bruce Greenwood (60) and Pete Sampras (45).

The Last Word

“The bastards tried to come over me last night. I guess they didn’t know I was a Marine”. – Private First Class Edward H. Ahrens

• During the Battle of Tulagi, Private Ahrens was mortally wounded while single-handedly fighting back a group of Japanese soldiers attempting to infiltrate Allied lines. After his superior officer discovered Ahrens the next morning surrounded by dead Japanese troops, he whispered these words and died.

Next week peeps!

In all honesty, you almost didn’t get a newsletter this week. The lack of news and deaths nearly put a stop on us! It’s really time to send out the flying monkeys, don’t blame me if someone you adore dies this week!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Gloria DeHaven, 91, American actress (Summer Stock, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Out to Sea), complications from a stroke.
• Anne of Romania, 92, French-born Romanian royal, queen consort of King Michael.
• David Huddleston, 85, American actor (The Big Lebowski, Blazing Saddles, Santa Claus: The Movie), heart and kidney disease.
• Gaspar Saladino, 88, American comic letterer (Superman vs. Muhammad Ali, Arkham Asylum). 

In Other News

Oscar Pistorius has denied injuries to his wrists sustained in prison were “a suicide attempt”, a South African prison spokesman has said. Pistorius claimed he fell out of bed in his cell at the prison where he is serving a six-year sentence for killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. “Oscar Pistorius denied speculations of a suicide attempt. As a policy principle, we cannot further discuss a particular offender’s personal condition in the public domain,” Manelisi Wolela, a spokesman at the Department of Correctional Services, told Reuters. His brother posted on Twitter to say Pistorius was in good spirits and is “doing well given the circumstances”. He called reports the athlete had tried to injure himself “completely untrue and sensational”.

Brazil’s most recognisable celebrity Pelé pulled out of the Rio  2016 opening ceremony just hours before it was due to begin, but the director insisted this would not detract from a show that aims to be about a lot more than sport. Underscoring how nothing seems to go right for the country recently, the footballer Pelé announced his withdrawal as a result of pain to caused by his recent hip replacement surgery. Local media had reported that he was among the candidates to light the Olympic cauldron. “At this point I’m not physically able to attend the opening of the Olympics,” the 75-year-old said in a statement. “As a Brazilian, I ask God to bless all who participate in this event and to make it a great success.”

Ozzy Osbourne is undergoing “intense therapy” for sex addiction, which caused his separation from his manager and wife of 34 years, Sharon. The Black Sabbath frontman’s representatives released a statement saying he had been dealing with sex addiction for the last six years,but that since his “relationship” with hairstylist Michelle Pugh had been exposed, he had sought treatment. When Osbourne moved out of the family home in May, it was suggested he might have relapsed in his drugs and alcohol addictions. Osbourne himself said: “I have been sober for three and a quarter years. I have not touched drugs or alcohol in that time. Any reports that I am not sober are completely inaccurate.”

On This Day

• 1947 – Thor Heyerdahl‘s balsa wood raft the Kon-Tiki, smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands after a 101-day, 7,000 kilometres (4,300 mi) journey across the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to prove that pre-historic peoples could have traveled from South America.
• 1955 – Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering, the precursor to Sony, sells its first transistor radios in Japan.

Deaths

• 1957 – Oliver Hardy, American actor, singer, and director (b. 1892)
• 1999 – Brion James, American actor (b. 1945)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Wesley Snipes (54), Fatboy Slim (53), J.K. Rowling (51), Dean Cain (50), Joe Elliott (57), Coolio (53), Kevin Smith (46), Sam Worthington (40), Edward Furlong (39), Martin Sheen (76), Martha Stewart (75), John Landis (66), James Hetfield (53), Evangeline Lilly (37), Billy Bob Thornton (61), Barack Obama (55), M. Night Shyamalan (46), Gerri Halliwell (44) and Michelle Yeoh (54).

The Last Word

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel”. – George Appel, executed by electric chair in 1928.

Next week peeps!