Afternoon poolers, today we have a points bonanza with the untimely death of Joost van der    Westhuizen, the following each get 105 points: Martin, Laura, Paul C, Dave, and Lee. However Shan had him as a Cert, so 205 points to her! Also, Sylvia correctly guessed that Tara Palmer-Tomkison would kick the bucket, so a further 105 points awarded! Well done all!!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Adele Dunlap, 114, American supercentenarian.
• Alec McCowen, 91, English actor (A Night to Remember, Frenzy, Gangs of New York).
• Joost van der Westhuizen, 45, South African rugby union player (Bulls, Blue Bulls, national team), motor neurone disease.
• Richard Hatch, 71, American actor (Battlestar Galactica, The Streets of San Francisco, All My Children), pancreatic cancer.
• Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, 45, British socialite and television presenter.
• Alan Simpson, 87, British comedy scriptwriter (Hancock’s Half Hour, Comedy Playhouse, Steptoe and Son), lung disease.

In Other News

Chas Hodges, one half of music duo Chas & Dave, has cancer of the oesophagus. he 73-year-old will begin treatment “immediately” after the illness was caught “at an early stage”, the band said in a Facebook post. They added: “Chas recently underwent hospital tests which revealed cancer of the oesophagus. Luckily this has been spotted at an early stage and he’ll be undergoing treatment immediately.” The star “expects to be back out on the road with Dave” soon, but the duo have cancelled several dates scheduled across February. Performances at Potters Bar, Norwich and in Milton Keynes on February 17, 18 and 19 “will need to be rescheduled”. “Apologies to ticket-holders for the inconvenience. The venues themselves will advise regarding re-scheduling/refunds,” the statement added. The duo, famous for hits such as Gertcha and Rabbit, formed in the 1970s and are the creators of a musical style dubbed rockney – a mix of rock and cockney.

The Ukip leader, Paul Nuttall, has moved house because of fears for his personal safety, the party has said. Paul Oakden, Ukip’s chairman, said on Saturday that Nuttall’s house in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, where the Ukip leader is standing in the forthcoming byelection, had been targeted after the address was shared on social media. “Since the address of the house Paul Nuttall has been staying at during the Stoke-on-Trent Central campaign was published on social media there have been a series of concerning incidents at or around it,” Oakden said. “The most serious of these was two unknown men attempting to gain access to the house through a rear entrance. There has also been hate mail posted through the letterbox and other intrusive behaviour including trespassing in the private garden of the premises and attempts to take pictures through windows and the letterbox.”

Australian wicketkeeper Sam Harper was taken to hospital overnight after being struck on the head by a bat during a Sheffield Shield match. The Victoria player, 20, needed medical treatment after he was caught by the follow-through of a shot from South Australia batsman Jake Lehmann. Harper, who was wearing a helmet, later had a brain scan in hospital. “Scans have not identified any bleeding or bone damage,” a Cricket Victoria statement read. “However, he will remain in hospital overnight for observation.” In January, Melbourne Renegades wicketkeeper Peter Nevill was ruled out of the Big Bash tournament after he suffered a burst blood vessel when he was hit by a flying bat during his side’s win over Adelaide Strikers. Concussion in cricket, and the use of the bouncer, have been under increased scrutiny since November 2014 when Australia Test batsman Phillip Hughes died after being struck on the top of the neck by a ball while batting for South Australia during a Sheffield Shield game against New South Wales.

And finally, an Egyptian woman, believed to be the world’s heaviest woman at 500kg (78.5 stone), has arrived in Mumbai, India, for weight reduction surgery. The family of 36-year-old Eman Ahmed Abd El Aty said it was the first time she had left home for 25 years. She was flown on a chartered plane to Mumbai where bariatric surgeon Dr Muffazal Lakdawala plans to operate. The Indian embassy in Cairo initially denied her visa request as she was unable to travel there in person. If the claim about her weight is true, then that would make her the world’s heaviest woman alive as the current Guinness record holder is Pauline Potter of the United States who weighed 292kg in 2010. Ms Abd El Aty’s family says she weighed 5kg (11lb) at birth and was diagnosed with elephantiasis, a condition in which a limb or other body parts swell due to a parasitic infection, Dr Lakdawala told the BBC in a phone call from Mumbai. “They said when she was 11, she had gained immense weight because of which she could not stand up and would crawl. “And then she suffered a stroke which left her bedridden and she has not been able to leave home since then.” Dr Lakdawala believes that Ms Abd El Aty does not have elephantiasis, but suffers from obesity-related lymphoedema which causes gigantic swelling of legs. “She would need to remain in Mumbai for two to three months for the surgery and treatment after which she would be able to return home, but it would take two to three years to bring her body weight under 100kg,” the surgeon said.

On This Day

• 881 – Pope John VIII crowns Charles the Fat, the King of Italy: Holy Roman Emperor.
• 1554 – A year after claiming the throne of England for nine days, Lady Jane Grey is beheaded for treason.
• 1924 – George Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue received its premiere in a concert titled “An Experiment in Modern Music”, in Aeolian Hall, New York, by Paul Whiteman and his band, with Gershwin playing the piano.
• 1993 – Two-year-old James Bulger is abducted from New Strand Shopping Centre by two ten-year-old boys, who later torture and murder him.
• 1994 – Four thieves break into the National Gallery of Norway and steal Edvard Munch‘s iconic painting The Scream.

Deaths

• 1554 – Lady Jane Grey, English daughter of Frances Grey, Duchess of Suffolk (b. 1537)
• 1929 – Lillie Langtry, English singer and actress (b. 1853)
• 1979 – Jean Renoir, French actor, director, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1894)
• 2014 – Sid Caesar, American actor and comedian (b. 1922)
• 2015 – Steve Strange, Welsh singer (b. 1959)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ashton Kutcher (39), Jennifer Aniston (48), Burt Reynolds (81), Jennifer Jason Leigh (55), Cristiano Ronaldo (32), Elizabeth Banks (43), Damien Lewis (46), Chloe Grace Moretz (20), Laura Dern (50), Chris Rock (52), Garth Brooks (55), Sheryl Crow (55), James Spader (57), Mia Farrow (72), Charlotte Rampling (71), Joe Pesci (74), Greg Norman (62), Sarah Palin (53), Christopher Guest (69), Michael Sheen (48), Nick Nolte (76), Seth Green (43), Axl Rose (55), John Grisham (62), Rick Astley (51), Bobby Brown (48), Glenn Beck (53) and Vince Neil (56).

Next week peeps!

Welcome all, another week and a few more deaths! As cruel as this game can be, this is possibly the cruelest announcement I have had to make. Last week I awarded an extra 50 points to many of you for ‘the first death of the season’, unfortunately for you I have had to deduct said points as Laura’s dubious choice of a fairly unknown murderer on Death Row has now been listed on Wiki, which unfortunately for some of you, trumps last weeks deaths. However, it’s not all doom and gloom, Mark scores 83 points for listing John Wetton and Paul G gets awarded 60 points for Desmond Carrington. Don’t you just love the drama!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Frank Pellegrino, 72, American actor (Goodfellas, The Sopranos) and restaurateur (Rao’s), lung cancer.
• John Wetton, 67, British singer-songwriter (“Only Time Will Tell“, “Heat of the Moment“) and bass guitarist (Asia, King Crimson), colorectal cancer.
• Desmond Carrington, 90, British actor (Emergency – Ward 10) and broadcaster.
• Sir Ken Morrison, 85, British businessman, president of Morrisons.

In Other News

Former South Africa captain Joost van der Westhuizen is in a “critical condition” in hospital as he continues to fight motor neurone disease. The 45-year-old, who helped his country win the 1995 World Cup, was diagnosed with the illness in 2011. “The family and friends of Joost ask that you all pray for Joost,” read a statement on his J9 Foundation website. “When we have updates, we will let you know. For now, we ask that we all bow our heads in prayer.” Van der Westhuizen is regarded as one of the finest scrum-halves in rugby history and won 89 caps for the Springboks between 1993 and 2003, scoring 38 tries. He played in his first of three World Cups in 1995 when the Springboks beat New Zealand in the final, and won the Tri-Nations Championship in 1998.

Former US President George HW Bush has been discharged from a Texas hospital after a spell in intensive care as he was treated for pneumonia. “He is thankful for the many prayers and kind wishes he received during his stay,” said his spokesman Jim McGrath. The 92-year-old was admitted to Houston Methodist Hospital on 14th January, experiencing breathing difficulties. His wife, Barbara Bush, 91, was briefly admitted to the facility days later to be treated for fatigue and a cough. The nation’s 41st president was moved to intensive care where doctors inserted a breathing tube, which was removed after a couple of days. He was transferred out of the intensive care unit a week ago and has been recovering since then, taking antibiotics. Mr Bush, who served as US president from 1989-93, spent a week in hospital in the US state of Maine in 2015 after falling and breaking a neck bone. He also suffers from a form of Parkinson’s disease and uses a wheelchair.

A prominent Russian opposition activist has been hospitalised with organ failure, two years after he almost died of suspected poisoning. Journalist Vladimir Kara-Murza, who works for pro-democracy group Open Russia, fell ill at about 05:00 local time. Mr Kara-Murza’s wife told the BBC she was on her way to hospital where her husband is in a medically-induced coma. The activist nearly died when he suffered sudden kidney failure in 2015. “He is already on life support and in a medicated coma. It’s the same clinical picture [as last time],” Evgenia Kara-Murza told the press. The journalist’s wife said he had suffered the same sudden onset of symptoms as in his previous illness. “The ambulance took him directly to the hospital where the same medical team has since been trying to determine what is happening,” she said. “He was brought there conscious but was put in a medicated coma and on life support later, because his organs began shutting down like last time.” No cause was ever established for Mr Kara-Murza’s last illness, but tests confirmed that he had ingested a poisonous substance. Then aged 33, he was in a coma for almost a week and struggled to communicate when he regained consciousness.

And finally, The founder of video game company Bandai Namco, which released cult game Pac-Man, has died at the age of 91, the firm has announced. Masaya Nakamura established Nakamura Manufacturing, which went on to become the Nakamura Amusement Machine Manufacturing Company (Namco) in 1956. He started out installing two electric horses on the roof of a department store in Japan as amusement rides. He was known as the “father” of Pac-Man because it was a Namco release in 1980. The game was developed by Toru Iwatani and in 2016 was named the highest-grossing arcade game of all time by the website US Gamer. Mr Nakamura was an honorary advisor at Bandai Namco until his death on 22nd January. He was awarded the Order of the Rising Sun, a Japanese government honour, in 2007 and was inducted into the International Video Game Hall of Fame in 2010.

On This Day

• 1757 – Louis XV of France survives an assassination attempt by Robert-François Damiens, the last person to be executed in France by drawing and quartering, the traditional and gruesome form of capital punishment used for regicides.
• 1919 – The German Workers’ Party, which would become the Nazi Party, is founded.
• 1933 – Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge begins in San Francisco Bay.

Deaths

• 1066 – Edward the Confessor, English king (b. 1004)
• 1922 – Ernest Shackleton, Anglo-Irish sailor and explorer (b. 1874)
• 1933 – Calvin Coolidge, American lawyer and politician, 30th President of the United States (b. 1872)
• 1941 – Amy Johnson, English pilot (b. 1903)
• 1956 – Mistinguett, French actress and singer (b. 1875)
• 1998 – Sonny Bono, American singer-songwriter, producer, actor, and politician (b. 1935)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Oprah Winfrey (63), Justin Timberlake (36), Minnie Driver (47), Gene Hackman (87), Christian Bale (43), Heather Graham (47), Harry Styles (23), Morgan Fairchild (67), Tom Select (72), Carol Channing (96), Alice Cooper (69), Isla Fisher (41), Shakira (40), Vanessa Redgrave (80), Lisa Marie Presley (49), Phil Collins (66), Michael C. Hall (46), Natalie Imbruglia (42), Dick Chaney (76), John Lydon (61) and Brett Spiner (68).

Next week peeps!

Welcome all; seven of you have caused me a little headache this week because you managed to pick celebrities that died on the same day. Search as I might, I couldn’t find a time of day for the deaths of John Hurt and Mary Tyler Moore, so I have awarded the first death of the season points to both celebrities. So, for John Hurt we award Abi, Neil, and Millie 123 points each, and for Mary Tyler Moore, we award Laura, Paul C, Mark and Dave 120 points. Well done all of you!!! We’ve finally kicked off the season!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Gorden Kaye, 75, English actor (‘Allo ‘Allo!, Brazil, Coronation Street), kidney failure.
• Kevin Geer, 63, American actor (Twelve Angry Men, The Pelican Brief, The Contender), heart attack.
• Sir John Hurt, 77, British actor (Midnight Express, Alien, The Elephant Man).
• Mary Tyler Moore, 80, American actress (The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Ordinary People) and philanthropist, complications from pneumonia.
• Mike Connors, 91, American actor (Mannix, The Ten Commandments, War and Remembrance), leukaemia.
• Barbara Hale, 94, American actress (Perry Mason, Airport), complications from COPD.
• David Rose, 92, British television producer, founder of FilmFour.

In Other News

A basketball player says he is “doing pretty well, all things considered” after his eye popped out in the middle of a game, New Zealand media report. Akil Mitchell, who plays for the New Zealand Breakers, was in Auckland for an Australian NBL game on Thursday night when the incident happened. The finger of an opposing player accidentally dislodged his eyeball. The American fell to the ground holding his hands to his left eye and was rushed to hospital. “With the palm of my hand I felt my eyeball on the side of my face,” he told New Zealand’s Radio Sport. “I could still see out of the eye.” “I remember thinking oh man… this is kinda bad, but I actually felt it kind of out of place and that’s when I kind of freaked out a little bit.” The 24-year-old said he remembered hearing the crowd and fellow players panicking and thought he would lose his sight and his career was over. “Once I got in the ambulance they gave me a little pain medicine and some saline drops in my eye and I felt it slide back into place, which is also a really strange feeling. “It felt so good to be able to blink again, which is insane.” After being released from hospital on Thursday, he posted on Twitter that he was “seeing fine” and used the eyeballs emoji. The player from North Carolina said he was expected to fully recover and could be playing again soon.

An actor has died after being shot while filming a music video in the Australian city of Brisbane. The man, in his 20s, suffered a chest wound inside the Brooklyn Standard bar in Eagle Lane in the city centre, Queensland police said. The video was for Sydney-based hip hop group Bliss n Eso. The band’s management released a statement to Australian news outlets confirming the death. “The video production crew and our team are currently working with the police in their investigation and we are unable to provide further comment at this time,” the statement said. Members of the film crew had tried to administer CPR on the victim, but the man eventually died from his injuries. Insp Armitt did not say whether the gun was loaded with live ammunition or if blanks were being used. It is also unknown how many shots were fired.

Woe betide us all, atomic scientists reset their symbolic “Doomsday Clock” to its closest time to midnight in 64 years on Thursday, saying the world was closer to catastrophe due to threats such as nuclear weapons, climate change and Donald Trump’s election as U.S. president. The timepiece, devised by the Chicago-based Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists and displayed on its website, is widely viewed as an indicator of the world’s vulnerability to disaster. Its hands were moved to two minutes and 30 seconds to midnight, from three minutes. The Doomsday Clock is closer to midnight than it’s ever been in the lifetime of almost everyone in this room,” Lawrence Krauss, the bulletin’s chair, told a news conference in Washington. The clock was last set this close to midnight in 1953, marking the start of the nuclear arms race between the United States and the Soviet Union. Thursday’s reset was the first since 2015. Krauss, a theoretical physicist, said Trump and Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin carried a large share of the blame for the heightened threat.

On This Day

• 1845 – “The Raven” is published in The Evening Mirror in New York, the first publication with the name of the author, Edgar Allan Poe.
• 1856 – Queen Victoria issues a Warrant under the Royal sign-manual that establishes the Victoria Cross to recognise acts of valour by British military personnel during the Crimean War.
• 1886 – Karl Benz patents the first successful gasoline-driven automobile.

Deaths

• 1820 – George III of the United Kingdom (b. 1738)
• 1888 – Edward Lear, English poet and illustrator (b. 1812)
• 1977 – Freddie Prinze, American comedian and actor (b. 1954)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ellen DeGeneres (59), Alan Alda (81), Ariel Winter (19), Elijah Wood (36), Ed Helms (43), Alecia Keys (36), Neil Diamond (76), Mischa Barton (31), Bridget Fonda (53), Eddie Van Halen (62), Linda Blair (58), Piper Laurie (85), Patton Oswalt (48), Alan Cumming (52), Jessica Ennis-Hill (31), Kristen Schaal (39), James Cromwell (77), Jazzy Jeff (52), Nastassja Kinski (56) and Rutger Hauer (73).

Next week peeps!

Welcome all, another edition hits the press. Well, what a week! Old Trump is still alive after his inauguration, which is a huge surprise to all of us who thought he’d be assassinated as soon as he stood upon that podium. Fair play to those Secret Service guys, they’re still doing their job, even though they obviously hate the cunt.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Jimmy Snuka, 73, Fijian-born American professional wrestler (WWF, AWA, PNW).
• Eugene Cernan, 82, American astronaut (Apollo 10, Apollo 17), last person to walk on the Moon.
• William Margold, 73, American pornographic actor and director.
• Loalwa Braz, 63, Brazilian singer-songwriter (“Lambada“), burns.
• Miguel Ferrer, 61, American actor (RoboCop, Mulan, NCIS: Los Angeles), throat cancer.

In Other News

Former US President George HW Bush and his wife Barbara Bush remain in hospital in Houston, Texas, according to a spokesman. The 41st president, who was admitted with pneumonia on Saturday, is still in the intensive care unit, relying on a ventilator to breathe. The 92-year-old had a breathing tube inserted on Wednesday in a procedure to clear his airway. Wife, Barbara, who has had bronchitis, said she was feeling “1,000% better”. Mrs Bush, 91, was admitted on Wednesday suffering from fatigue and a cough. “President Bush had a good night’s rest,” spokesman Jim McGrath said on Thursday. “We are hopeful he will be discharged from the ICU in a few days.” He said the couple had received “an uplifting visit” from longtime friend former Secretary of State James Baker, who lives in Houston. In a letter addressed 10 January, Mr Bush – the oldest living US president – wrote to Mr Trump to excuse himself from attending his inauguration as 45th US president on Friday. Mr Bush wrote that “my doctor says if I sit outside in January, it will likely put me six feet under”. “Same for Barbara. So I guess we’re stuck in Texas,” he wrote, adding that they will be “with you and the country in spirit”.

Chelsea Manning, whose sentence was commuted by the outgoing president, thanked him “for giving me a chance”. The 29-year-old transgender soldier, born Bradley Manning, gave embarrassing documents to Wikileaks in 2010. At President Obama’s final press conference on Wednesday, he declared that “justice has been served”. She will be freed from the Fort Leavenworth military prison in May – 29 years ahead of her scheduled release in 2045. Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan called the decision “outrageous”. “Chelsea Manning’s treachery put American lives at risk and exposed some of our nation’s most sensitive secrets,” Mr Ryan said. We at Dead Pool Towers agree, we listed her as a possible suicide, but now she’s been given hope!

George Michael’s childhood friend Andros Georgiou has linked the singer’s death to drugs. “Hard drugs had been back in his life,” he told the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme, adding that crack cocaine was one of Michael’s “favourite drugs”. Mr Georgiou grew up with Michael and the two referred to each other as cousins. He added: “I just think he took too much of something, mixed with antidepressants.” The star died aged 53 on Christmas Day. A post-mortem examination was “inconclusive”, police have said. More tests are being carried out to determine what led to his death, which is not being treated as suspicious. Mr Georgiou said he believed Michael’s death was an accident. “I believe he had suicidal thoughts, because his mental health was all over the place. But I don’t believe this was suicide,” he told the programme. He described crack cocaine as one of Michael’s “favourite drugs”, adding: “I just think he took too much of something, mixed with antidepressants and other drugs he was on – with alcohol. “I think his heart just stopped beating.”

On This Day

• 1901 – Edward VII is proclaimed King after the death of his mother, Queen Victoria.
• 1905 – Bloody Sunday in Saint Petersburg, beginning of the 1905 revolution.
• 1970 – The Boeing 747, the world’s first “jumbo jet”, enters commercial service for launch customer Pan American Airways with its maiden voyage from John F. Kennedy International Airport to London Heathrow Airport.
• 1984 – The Apple Macintosh, the first consumer computer to popularize the computer mouse and the graphical user interface, is introduced during a Super Bowl XVIII television commercial.

Deaths

• 1900 – David Edward Hughes, Welsh-American physicist, invented the microphone (b. 1831)
• 1901 – Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom (b. 1819)
• 1973 – Lyndon B. Johnson, American lieutenant and politician, 36th President of the United States (b. 1908)
• 1994 – Telly Savalas, American actor (b. 1924)
• 2008 – Heath Ledger, Australian actor and director (b. 1979)
• 2010 – Jean Simmons, English-American actress (b. 1929)
• 2016 – Cecil Parkinson, English politician (b. 1931)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Betty White (95), Kevin Costner (62), Michelle Obama (53), James Earl Jones (86), Zooey Deschanel (37), Jim Carrey (55), Dolly Parton (71), Bill Maher (61), Kate Moss (43), Katey Segal (63), Rainn Wilson (51), Geena Davis (61), Placido Domingo (76), Buzz Aldrin (87), Jack Nicklaus (77), Billy Ocean (67), Mario Van Peebles (60) and Emma Bunton (41),

And Finally…. 

In 2000, a 19-year-old man in Houston, Texas seemed to get the concept of Russian Roulette confused by using a semi-automatic pistol instead of a revolver.

Instead of putting one bullet in a revolver and pulling the trigger, giving him a one-in-six chance of dying, he put the bullet in a semi-automatic pistol (where the bullets are instantly moved into the gun’s chamber), rising those odds to exactly 100 per cent.

Next week peeps!

Afternoon minions, we start with a rather controversial happening. Our current Angel of    Death, Laura, has on her list a nice chap called Christopher Wilkins, he was executed this week in Texas. Unfortunately for Laura, he has not cropped up on the Wiki listing, maybe because he’s not famous or his crimes heinous enough. So as a death, he’s been disallowed. 0 Points. More of a kick in the teeth for Wilkins than Laura I feel. Laura shouldn’t feel bad though, she still guessed the first death, again, just didn’t score, so she is the lass to beat still!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Pioneer Cabin Tree, c.1000, American giant sequoia tree, storm damage.
• Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, 82, Iranian politician, President (1989–1997).
• Peter Sarstedt, 75, English singer-songwriter (“Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)?“), progressive supranuclear palsy.
• Buddy Greco, 90, American jazz and pop singer, actor (The Girl Who Knew Too Much) and pianist.
• Clare Hollingworth, 105, British journalist (The Daily Telegraph), broke news of German invasion of Poland.
• Tony Booth, 83, British poster artist (The Beatles), cancer.
• Brian Fletcher, 69, British jockey, winner of the Grand National (1968, 1973, 1974), cancer.
• Victor Lownes, 88, American businessman (Playboy). 
• Tommy Allsup, 85, American rockabilly and swing guitarist.
• William Peter Blatty, 89, American novelist (The Exorcist, Legion) and screenwriter (A Shot in the Dark), multiple myeloma.
• Larry Steinbachek, 56, English keyboardist (Bronski Beat), cancer.
• Graham Taylor, 72, English football player and manager (Watford, Aston Villa, national team), heart attack.
• Antony Armstrong-Jones, 1st Earl of Snowdon, 86, English photographer and filmmaker.
• Dick Gautier, 85, American actor (Get Smart, Transformers, Bye Bye Birdie).
• Mohammed bin Faisal Al Saud, 80, Saudi royal and businessman.
• Zhou Youguang, 111, Chinese linguist and supercentenarian.

In Other News 

The Queen has made her first public appearance of 2017 after ill-health affected her during the festive season. She attended the morning church service at St Mary Magdalene in Sandringham, Norfolk, on Sunday. There were concerns about the monarch’s health after she missed services on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, which she normally attends with other members of the royal family. Buckingham Palace said she was “recuperating” from a heavy cold. The Queen, dressed in blue, arrived with Prince Philip at about 11:00 GMT in a maroon Bentley. Shortly after, she was joined by other members of the royal family, including the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, as well as the Middleton family. They stayed at the church for an hour, before being driven back to their estate at 12:00 GMT. The last time the Queen was seen in public was at an investiture, during which actor Eddie Redmayne was awarded an OBE, maybe it was all his fault and he’s heading the the Tower of London as we speak.

The actor who played Damien Thorn in the 1970s horror film The Omen punched two cyclists in a road-rage attack and has been given a suspended prison sentence – on Friday the 13th. Harvey Spencer Stephens, 46, lashed out at two riders and damaged one of their cycling helmets after getting out of his car after a dispute. He pleaded guilty to two counts of ABH and one of causing criminal damage following the attack. Maidstone crown court heard that father-of-two Stephens was “red-faced and angry” when he confronted the cyclists, knocking one of them unconscious after driving up behind them. Prosecutor Kieran Brand said Stephens repeatedly used his horn when riders Mark Richardson and Alex Manley, who were out cycling separately, were side-by-side on the road as one overtook the other. Richardson responded by flicking his middle finger at Stephens, who then accelerated heavily before overtaking the pair and pulling over. Brand said Stephens punched Richardson, knocking him unconscious, which prompted Manley to intervene. Stephens responded by asking Manley: “You want some do you?” before punching him twice in the face, causing him to fall on his back with his bicycle still between his legs. Stephens held Manley down and punched him six or seven times, inflicting dental injuries and damaging his helmet. Let this be a warning to all cyclists, the Devil is after you!

A Serbian man is being hailed a miracle survivor after he spent two-and-a-half days stuck down a well in temperatures well below freezing. Jezdimir Milic left home on Friday morning to buy groceries ahead of Orthodox Christmas the next day, but failed to come home. He was found some 52 hours later, on Sunday afternoon, trapped down a well while temperatures reached -20C (-4F). Mr Milic was discovered by neighbour Goran Markovic, who says Mr Milic’s poor sight probably explains how he did  not see the five-metre-deep (16-foot) well and fell into it. Mr Markovic said he discovered Mr Milic when he noticed a bag of groceries sitting by the well, in a wooded area close to their village of Smoljinac. “Attracted by the unusual sight, I walked over to the bag in which there was a bottle of red wine, a few bottles of beer and some corn flour,” Mr Markovic told news organisation RTS. “At that moment I remembered that there was talk in the village about a disappeared person named Jezdimir. Then I heard some cries and looked into the well and I saw, at the bottom, someone sitting with their hands and feet close to their chest.” He then notified a local vet, who summoned police. The fire service eventually got Mr Milic out. As well as hypothermia, he is being treated for bruises and abrasions consistent with a fall from height.

On This Day

• 1559 – Elizabeth I is crowned Queen of England in Westminster Abbey, London, England.
• 1889 – The Coca-Cola Company, then known as the Pemberton Medicine Company, is incorporated in Atlanta.
• 1967 – The first Super Bowl is played in Los Angeles. The Green Bay Packers defeat the Kansas City Chiefs 35–10.
• 1970 – Muammar Gaddafi is proclaimed premier of Libya.
• 2001 – Wikipedia, a free wiki content encyclopaedia, goes online.
• 2009 – Captain Sully (Chesley Sullenberger) emergency landed a US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River saving all 155 passengers after the plane collided with birds few minutes after take-off.

Deaths

• 1987 – Ray Bolger, American actor, singer, and dancer (b. 1904)
• 1996 – Minnesota Fats, American billiards player (b. 1913)
• 2011 – Susannah York, English actress and activist (b. 1939)
• 2014 – Roger Lloyd-Pack, English actor (b. 1944)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Zayn Malik (24), Jason Bateman (48), Liam Hemsworth (27), Kate Middleton (35), Faye Dunaway (76), Howard Stern (63), Rod Stewart (72), Kirsty Alley (66), George Foreman (68), Amanda Peet (46), Mary J. Blige (46), Rush Limbaugh (66), Pat Benatar (64), Joely Richardson (52), Evan Handler (56), Mel C. (43), Pixie Lott (26), Carl Weathers (69) and Shirley Bassey (80).

And Finally…

This took the top Darwin Award in 1994. A Polish farmer, Krystof Azninski, who “staked a strong claim to being Europe’s most macho man by cutting off his own head.” Azninski and his friends, in an inebriated state, decided it was good idea to  engage in a little competition of who was the most masculine. It is strange how these things escalate. First, they striped off naked. Second, they hit each other with frozen turnips. But things turned decidedly bizarre -and deadly when one of them cut off his own foot with a chainsaw. Azninski decided to top this by literally sawing off his own head! One of the men was quoted as saying: “It’s funny, because when he was young he put on his sister’s underwear. But he died like a man.”

Next week peeps!