Welcome peeps, another week flies by, alas no points to be awarded. I was asked the question a couple of weeks ago, who has scored the most on our little Dead Pool. Well, since we changed over to the current scoring format, I can now reveal that our top scorer of all time is Laura from 2016 with an astounding 654 points. That year she correctly guessed her Cert and Woman, and also got the first death of the year. A few of her chosen were rather young to die as well. So that’s the benchmark people! Also, some of you may be wondering who has guessed the most deaths in a year, well, this achievement has been broken this year, Martin now holds this record with seven deaths out of a possible thirteen. Also a claim to fame, the only person to have correctly guessed a Maverick is Stu back in 2014, although listing the third heaviest man of all time was a tiny bit outside the brief of a Maverick.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Karin Dor, 79, German actress (You Only Live Twice, Topaz).
• Roy Halladay, 40, American baseball player (Toronto Blue Jays, Philadelphia Phillies), Cy Young Award winner (2003, 2010), plane crash.
• Carl Sargeant, 49, Welsh politician, AM (since 2003).
• John Hillerman, 84, American actor (Magnum, P.I., Chinatown, Blazing Saddles), Emmy winner (1987).
• Chuck Mosley, 57, American singer (Faith No More, Bad Brains) and songwriter (“We Care a Lot”), complications from alcoholism.
• Antonio Carluccio, 80, Italian chef, restaurateur and television presenter (Two Greedy Italians), fall.
• Shyla Stylez, 35, Canadian pornographic actress.

In Other News 

As reported a few weeks ago on The Dead Pool, the chances of us all dying of The Black Death has just been upped a notch as Malawi has been put on high alert over fears the plague, which has killed at least 140 people in Madagascar, could hit the East African country. It is now the tenth nation in Africa to be put on alert over concerns surrounding the Black Death, which was behind one of the devastating pandemics in history, wiping out a third of Medieval Europe in the 1300s. South Africa, Mauritius, Mozambique, Seychelles, Tanzania, La Reunion and Mayotte, Kenya, Ethiopia and Comoros have all been warned to prepare for a potential outbreak of the deadly disease. The plague has swept across the island nation since late summer, moving beyond the areas where it traditionally occurs, with at least 2,034 suspected or confirmed cases reported between 1 August to 8 November, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). The WHO has pledge £3.8m to fight the disease and prepare surrounding countries for potential spread, but it says it could take months to bring the outbreak under control.

And because it’s a very slow news week, have a comic instead.

On This Day

• 1912 – The frozen bodies of Robert Scott and his men are found on the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica.
• 1970 – The Oregon Highway Division attempts to destroy a rotting beached Sperm whale with explosives, leading to the now infamous “exploding whale” incident.
• 1990 – Tim Berners-Lee publishes a formal proposal for the World Wide Web.

Deaths

• 1035 – Cnut the Great, Danish-English king (b. 985)
• 1981 – William Holden, American actor (b. 1918)
• 1990 – Eve Arden, American actress and comedian (b. 1908)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Leonardo DiCaprio (43), Demi Moore (55), Stanley Tucci (57), Calista Flockhart (53), June Whitfield (92), Hugh Bonneville (54), Roland Emmerich (62), Tracy Morgan (49), Neil Gaiman (57), Ennio Morricone (88), Lou Ferrigno (66), Tony Slattery (58), Gretchen Mol (45), Tara Reid (42), Matthew Rhys (43), Richard Curtis (61), Gordon Ramsay (51), Lorde (21), Joni Mitchell (74), Emma Stone (29), Sally Field (71), Ethan Hawke (47), Thandie Newton (45), Rebecca Romijn (45), Lori Singer (60), Maria Shriver (62), Nigel Havers (66), Famke Janssen (53), Tilda Swinton (57), Robert Patrick (59), Sam Rockwell (49), Tatum O’Neal (54), Elke Sommer (77), Tamzin Outhwaite (47), Armin Shimerman (68), Art Garfunkel (76) and Chris Addison (46).

Welcome to the not so special Bonfire Night edition! As stars, politicians and celebrities are falling to sexual harassment allegations, perhaps we should now be listing the men as potentials for the near future. Careers destroyed and reputations in tatters from the touch of a knee to much, much more could easily push one or two over the edge! Will you list the naked Chris Evans? The ‘I’m not gay I just like small boys’ Kevin Spacey? Or the rapist Weinstein? Obviously these are all ‘alleged’ assaults and unproven as of yet, (just covering my arse legally) but it’s a tempting thought, there’s 92 points going if Spacey decides the pressure it too much…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Deon Stewardson, 66, South African actor (Wild at Heart), suicide.
• Kim Joo-hyuk, 45, South Korean actor (The Servant, My Wife Got Married, Confidential Assignment), traffic collision.
• Brad Bufanda, 34, American actor (Veronica Mars, A Cinderella Story, Co-Ed Confidential), suicide by jumping.
• Paddy Russell, 89, British television director (Doctor Who, Out of the Unknown, The Omega Factor).
• Isabel Granada, 41, Filipino actress and singer, aneurysm.

In Other News

After a long and drawn out dispute, the body of the Moors murderer Ian Brady has been secretly cremated and his ashes disposed of at sea in the middle of the night. Court documents reveal that Brady’s body was incinerated without ceremony in Southport on Wednesday 25th October. His ashes were placed in a weighted biodegradable urn, driven to Liverpool Marina and dispatched at sea on Thursday 26th October at 2.30am. Earlier in October, a senior judge ordered that responsibility for supervising the disposal of Brady’s body be taken out of the hands of his solicitor and executor of his will, Robin Makin, and placed with Tameside borough council. Brady’s body was collected from the mortuary at Royal Liverpool hospital by a Tameside council official at about 9pm. Under police escort, the corpse was taken to Southport crematorium, where the cremation began at 10pm exactly. No music or flowers were allowed. In a joint statement responding to the news that Brady’s body had been disposed of, Tameside and Oldham councils said: “We are pleased that this matter is now concluded and we are grateful for the support and professionalism shown … to ensure Ian Stewart-Brady’s body and remains were disposed of expediently at sea in a manner compatible with the public interest and those of the victims’ relatives.”

After more than a week of being in coma, actress Isabel Granada has succumbed to brain hemorrhage due to aneurysm in Qatar. She was 41. The remains of the ’80s teen star will be brought back to the Philippines by her hubsand on Wednesday. According to him, while he and the actress were at a friend’s wake in Australia, the actress said she would like her body to be cremated, but the decision still lies on the actress’ mother. A day before she suddenly collapsed and went on coma, Isabel posted this on Facebook, as if she had a premonition: “As you turn your attention to Christ Jesus, feel the Light of His Presence shining upon you. Open your mind and heart to receive His heavenly smile of approval. Let His gold-tinged Love wash over you and soak into the depths of your being. As you are increasingly filled with His Being, you experience joyous union with Him. He suffuses your soul with Joy in His Presence; at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore.” Yeah, well…

Oh, just when you thought it was safe to live your life again, it appears that a deadly outbreak of a rare and highly fatal virus has broken out in eastern Uganda and five cases have already been identified, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has confirmed. The disease, known as Marburg virus disease (MVD), is similar to Ebola and can be lethal in up to 90 per cent of cases. Emergency screening has begun at the Kenya-Uganda border in Turkana after three members of the same family died of the disease in Uganda. The outbreak is thought to have started in September when a man in his 30s, who worked as a game hunter and lived near a cave with a heavy presence of bats, was admitted to a local health centre with a high fever, vomiting and diarrhoea. He did not respond to antimalarial treatment and his condition rapidly deteriorated. He was quickly taken to another hospital in the neighbouring district, but died shortly after arriving. His sister, in her 50s, died shortly afterwards and a third victim passed away in the treatment unit of a local health centre. Several hundred people are believed to have been exposed to the virus, which is among the most virulent pathogens known to infect humans. Early symptoms include fever, chills, headache, and myalgia. The news comes as Madagascar faces a deadly outbreak of plague, which has already claimed the lives of 127 people. The outbreak has been compared with the Black Death, when plague swept across Europe and Asia in the 13th century, killing more than 50 million people in what is now considered one of the worst pandemics in human history. Two thirds of the recorded cases in Madagascar are caused by the pneumonic plague, which can be spread through coughs and sneezes and without treatment, can kill within 24 hours. The outbreak has prompted warnings that it could spread to nine nearby countries, including UK holiday hotspots Mauritius and the Seychelles. Best stay at home then…

On This Day

• 1605 – Gunpowder Plot: Guy Fawkes is arrested.
• 1912 – Woodrow Wilson is elected the 28th President of the United States, defeating incumbent William Howard Taft.
• 2006 – Saddam Hussein, former president of Iraq, and his co-defendants Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti and Awad Hamed al-Bandar, are sentenced to death in the al-Dujail trial for their roles in the 1982 massacre of 148 Shi’a Muslims.
• 2007 – Android mobile operating system is unveiled by Google.
• 2009 – U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan murders 13 and wounds 32 at Fort Hood, Texas in the deadliest mass shooting at a U.S. military installation.

Deaths

• 1987 – Eamonn Andrews, Irish radio and television host (b. 1922)
• 1991 – Robert Maxwell, Czech-English captain, publisher, and politician (b. 1923)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Matthew McConaughey (48), Ralph Macchio (56), Loretta Swit (80), Kate Capshaw (64), Dolph Lundgren (60), Roseanne Barr (65), Kendall Jenner (22), Dylan Moran (46), Lulu (68), Adam Ant (63), David Schwimmer (51), Stefanie Powers (75), Toni Collette (45), Jenny McCarthy (45), Anthony Kiedis (55), Lyle Lovett (59), Larry Flynt (75), Peter Jackson (56), Erica Cerra (38), Stephen Rea (71), Vanilla Ice (50), Debbie McGee (59), Clémence Poésy (35), Jessica Hynes (45), Henry Winkler (72), Ivanka Trump (36), Juliet Stevenson (61), Winona Ryder (46), Rufus Sewell (50), Richard Dreyfuss (70) and Dan Castellaneta (53).

Welcome once again to a pointless edition of The Dead Pool. Only two months left to go, it’s still too close to call at the top end of the table. Luckily I bumped into the top two contenders last night and both have agreed, that in the unlikely event of a draw, the winner will be decided by a ‘gin-off’, rules to be made up at the time. Wont that be fun 😀

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Rosemary Leach, 81, English actress (A Room with a View, The Roads to Freedom, The Plague Dogs).
• George Young, 70, Scottish-born Australian musician (The Easybeats), songwriter (“Friday on My Mind”, “Love Is in the Air”), and producer (AC/DC).
• Fats Domino, 89, American Hall of Fame pianist and singer-songwriter (“Blueberry Hill”, “Ain’t That a Shame”, “I’m Walkin'”).
• Robert Guillaume, 89, American actor and singer (Benson, The Lion King, Sports Night), Emmy winner (1979, 1985), prostate cancer.
• John Mollo, 86, British costume designer (Star Wars, Alien, Gandhi), Oscar winner (1977, 1982), complications from vascular dementia.

In Other News

Robbie Williams has said he cancelled a recent tour due to “very worrying” test results that saw him admitted to an intensive care unit. Williams, who released his album Heavy  Entertainment Show last year, cancelled three gigs in Russia in September 2017. He has since uploaded a video to YouTube where he explained that the cancellations were due to an illness. “I’ve been recovering from an illness now for the last five weeks,” he said in the video. “Unfortunately that illness kicked in just at the end of my tour, a tour which was going so well. Then I got some test results. They were very worrying and I ended up in ICU, so I couldn’t go. “I haven’t pulled out of a tour for bad health since 1998 so you know if I can’t do it then there’s something going on that I just can’t do.” Williams said his recovery had led to him becoming vegan and take up pilates: “I do yoga every day and have a really big burger on a Sunday,” So, not quite vegan then….. “I’m not feeling 100 per cent but I’m getting there, and I know I’m going to be better than ever,” he said.

The UK’s top civil servant, Sir Jeremy Heywood, has been receiving treatment for cancer. The Cabinet Office said Sir Jeremy, who has been cabinet secretary since 2012, was diagnosed in June. In a statement, it said the 55-year old had received treatment over the summer and the early autumn which “went well”. Sir Jeremy, it added, had continued his “normal duties” during this period with the full support of his doctors and remained “totally focused” on doing so. As cabinet secretary and head of the civil service, Sir Jeremy is responsible for advising the prime minister and cabinet on the business of government, including the UK’s withdrawal from the EU. The Cabinet Office said it would be making no further comment on “this private matter”. Sir Jeremy, who is sometimes characterised in the media as the most powerful figure in the British government, has worked closely with four prime ministers during a 25-year career in Whitehall.

Remember old King Bhumibol Adulyadej who died just over a year ago? Well, after a year of mourning, and I do mean mourning, Thailand basically shut down, no colour TV allowed, everyone had to wear dark colours or the fashion police really would put you in jail, no fun was allowed to be had upon pain of death. Children were literally not allowed to play!!! Anyhow, the old chap has finally been cremated and the new king has picked out parts of his father’s remains so they could be enshrined as relics. The new monarch Maha Vajiralongkorn presided over the burning of his father’s remains in a golden crematorium at a late-night ceremony in Bangkok, as part a spectacular five-day funeral. After bathing the charred bones, he placed them into golden urns in preparation for blessings by monks. Then he lead a procession of the ashes through the streets of Thailand’s capital. Bhumibol’s remains have now been transferred to spiritually significant locations for Buddhist rites that will prepare them to be enshrined on the final day of an elaborate funeral that has transfixed the nation. Personally, when you find me dead in my chair, half eaten by the cat, a bin liner will do, then just leave me out for the dustmen.

On This Day

• 1618 – English adventurer, writer, and courtier Sir Walter Raleigh is beheaded for allegedly conspiring against James I of England.
• 1929 – The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of ’29 or “Black Tuesday”, ending the Great Bull Market of the 1920s and beginning the Great Depression.
• 1969 – The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet.
• 1998 – Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space.

Deaths

• 1618 – Walter Raleigh, English admiral, explorer, and politician, Lieutenant Governor of Jersey (b. 1554)
• 2011 – Jimmy Savile, English radio and television host, lover of children (b. 1926)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Gwendoline Christie (39), Julia Roberts (50), Joaquin Phoenix (43), Matt Smith (35), Annie Potts (65), John Cleese (78), Robert Picardo (64), Kelly Osbourne (33), Seth MacFarlane (44), Cary Elwes (55), Jon Heder (40), Keith Urban (50), Hillary Clinton (70), Katy Perry (33), Nancy Cartwright (60), Kevin Kline (70), F. Murray Abraham (78), Emilia Clarke (31), Ryan Reynolds (41), Sam Raimi (58), Ang Lee (63), ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic (58) and Cat Deeley (41).

Afternoon everyone! Another edition hits the stands, alas no points to award this week. We are now on the 10-week countdown and things are still pretty tight at the top of the leader board, one death of a Cert/Woman/Maverick is all that is needed to clinch the top spot for many of you. If you haven’t already, now is a good time to start researching your list for 2018 and also tell your friends, as the more people who take part, the more fun it can be.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Roy Dotrice, 94, British actor (Amadeus, A Moon for the Misbegotten, Game of Thrones), Tony winner (2000).
• Sean Hughes, 51, Irish comedian (Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Sean’s Show) and actor (The Last Detective).
• Gord Downie, 53, Canadian musician (The Tragically Hip) and activist (Lake Ontario Waterkeeper, residential school reconciliation), glioblastoma.
• Brent Briscoe, 56, American actor (Twin Peaks, A Simple Plan, Sling Blade) and screenwriter.
• Umberto Lenzi, 86, Italian film director (Cannibal Ferox, Nightmare City, Ghosthouse).
• Honorine Rondello, 114, French supercentenarian, nation’s oldest living person.
• Rosemary Leach, 81, English actress (A Room with a View, The Roads to Freedom, The Plague Dogs).
• Judith McGrath, 70, Australian actress (Prisoner, A Country Practice, All Saints).

In Other News

Ginger pop star Ed Sheeran has broken his right arm, putting his upcoming tour dates in jeopardy. “I’ve had a bit of a bicycle accident,” wrote the star on his Instagram page, posting a picture of his arm in a cast. “I’m currently waiting on some medical advice, which may affect some of my upcoming shows. Please stay tuned for further news.” The 26-year-old was on a break from his world tour, but was due to resume with a gig in Taipei next week. He has a further 14 dates scheduled this year, including concerts in Japan, South Korea and Thailand, before kicking off the Australian leg of his tour in March 2018.    Sheeran famously plays his concerts solo – using just a guitar and a loop pedal to layer up songs. Losing the use of his right arm would make such a set-up impractical – but, speaking to BBC News earlier this year, Sheeran said he would never consider playing with a backing band because he’s a wanker who wants all the glory for himself. “I don’t feel like there’s anything interesting or new about seeing a singer-songwriter with a band behind them,” he said, sure The Beatles had nothing going for them… “I don’t feel like if I suddenly got a band, everyone would go, ‘Wow!’. I actually feel it’d take away from me.” Yeah, more talented musicians on the stage….

In another bike related event, but a bit more hardcore than falling off your bloody bycycle, Gerard Butler was rushed to hospital after he got run off the road on his motorbike. The Hollywood actor was riding his motorbike on the streets of LA when he got cut up by a woman trying to park her car.  She reversed into his bike and he “did a somersault about 30ft in the air”. The 47-year-old actor revealed he has five fractures in his right foot and a fracture in his left foot, along with a painful knee injury. “The more I think about it I got quite lucky because I went through the air. I did like 30 feet and did a somersault and smashed right down. “I guess I could have landed a lot of ways that it could have gone went worse. I got a few fractures on my feet and I messed up my knee.” Not only this, he actually put himself into anaphylactic shock after injecting himself with the venom of 23 bee stings.  Butler told the ITV chat show Lorraine: “I had heard of this guy injecting bee venom, because apparently it has many anti-inflammatory compounds. So, I’m like: ‘Come, come to New Orleans where we’re filming.’ So, he gives me a shot, and I go: ‘Oh, that’s interesting’ – because it stings. “Then he gives me 10 shots, and then I have the worst reaction. I kind of enter this anaphylactic shock. It’s awful, creepy crawlies all over me, swelled up, heart’s going to explode. But I go through it, and then I find out he gave me 10 times too much.” Butler was immediately taken to hospital, but admitted that four days later he decided to give the remedy another go. “I decide to do it again because, I think: ‘Maybe I just took too much.’ So, he’s on the phone, and this time I have to go to the hospital [again].” Bee stings have been used as a remedy, known as apitherapy, for centuries, initially by placing live bees on inflamed areas and in more modern times by extracting the venom from the living bees and injecting it. Jeff Goldblum, a guest with Butler on BBC1’s The Graham Norton Show, gently mocked the Scot’s use of the remedy. “I’ve done some cockamamie things in my time but that is crazy,” he said.

Wildlife TV presenter and comedian Bill Oddie has been struck with a health condition that makes him hear music in his left ear. The acclaimed conservationist keeps hearing jumbled brass band tunes and bagpipe solos. The phenomenon, a form of tinnitus, is rarely reported because people fear the symptoms are a sign of a psychiatric illness or dementia. Other people with the condition have heard rock music or HMS Pinafore, the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta. The 76-year-old former Goodie and presenter of the BBC’s Springwatch said: “It has been going on for about four months and there is no pattern to when or why it starts. It’s a military-style band of the 1940s but not as nice as a Glenn Miller swing sound. “It varies quite a bit and it is difficult to distinguish a tune but nearly every day it involves a bagpipe solo. “At the moment I can live with it but I’d rather not. I’m intrigued and wonder how many other people have experienced something similar.” Bill first noticed the sounds earlier this year while working in the office at his London home. He added: “I thought someone had left the radio on so I followed the noise but it wascoming with me,  which was weird.”Dr Will Sedley, a lecturer in neurology at Newcastle University, said: “It is more common than you might think although we believe it goes unreported because people are worried that they will be thought of as going mad. But this is a stand-alone condition and not normally a feature of any wider disorder such as dementia.” The true horror of what is actually happening to him is pictured to the right.

On This Day

• 1917 – Lenin calls for the October Revolution.
• 1929 – Wall Street Crash of 1929. After a steady decline in stock market prices since a peak in September, the New York Stock Exchange begins to crash.
• 1958 – The Smurfs, a fictional race of blue dwarves, later popularised in a Hanna-Barbera animated cartoon series, appear for the first time in the story La flute à six schtroumpfs.  
• 2002 – Moscow theater hostage crisis: Chechen terrorists seize the House of Culture theatre in Moscow and take approximately 700 theatre-goers hostage.
• 2012 – After 38 years, the world’s first teletext service (BBC’s Ceefax) ceases broadcast due to Northern Ireland completing the digital switchover.

Deaths

• 1915 – W. G. Grace, English cricketer and physician (b. 1848)
• 1950 – Al Jolson, Lithuanian-American actor and singer (b. 1886)
• 1957 – Christian Dior, French fashion designer, founded Christian Dior S.A. (b. 1905)
• 2001 – Josh Kirby, English illustrator (b. 1928)
• 2014 – Alvin Stardust, English singer and actor (b. 1942)
• 2016 – Pete Burns, English singer-songwriter (b. 1959)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Christopher Lloyd (78), Jeff Goldblum (64), Bob Odenkirk (54), Catherine Deneuve (73), Derek Jacobi (78), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (41), Everett McGill (72), Ken Watanabe (58), Kim Kardashian West (37), Viggo Mortensen (59), Danny Boyle (61), Snoop Dogg (46), Michael Gambon (77), John Lithgow (72), John le Carré (86), Zac Efron (30), Jean-Claude Van Damme (57), Pam Dawber (66), Eminem (45), Margot Kidder (69), Mark Gatiss (51), George Wendt (69), Angela Lansbury (92), Tim Robbins (59), Suzanne Somers (71), Peter Bowles (81) and Gary Kemp (58).

Apologies for the lateness of this weeks edition, however, you haven’t missed much, nobody of real note seems to have died. Next week is already shaping up as “a good un” with several good stories and a death of a well known comedian and it’s only Monday!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Jean Rochefort, 87, French actor (Lost in La Mancha, The Phantom of Liberty, Mr. Bean’s Holiday).
• Bob Schiller, 98, American screenwriter (I Love Lucy, All in the Family, The Carol Burnett Show), Emmy winner (1971, 1978).
• Grape-kun, 20, Humboldt penguin.
• William Lombardy, 79, American chess grandmaster, heart attack.

In Other News

Marilyn Manson has discussed for the first time the “excruciating” stage accident that resulted in a leg injury and nine postponed tour dates. The singer was crushed when a giant prop gun collapsed on him during a concert in New York on 30th September. “It was terrifying,” said the rock star, who needed a plate and 10 screws in his fibula after the accident. He said that, contrary to media reports, he was not responsible for the prop toppling over. “I wasn’t trying to climb it,” said the 48-year-old. “It started to fall and I tried to push back and I didn’t get out the way in time. “I’m not sure what I hit my head on, but it did fall on to my leg and break the fibula in two places. The pain was excruciating.” It took several minutes for the stage crew to free Manson, who appeared limp and unconscious. As well as the injury to his lower leg, the star required a screw through his ankle bone. He has spent the last two weeks recovering at home in Los Angeles.

Moors Murderer Ian Brady’s remains must be disposed of with “no music and no ceremony”, a High Court judge has ruled. Two councils asked the judge to step in to ensure the disposal of the serial killer’s body did not cause “offence and distress” to his victims’ families. Sir Geoffrey Vos said Brady’s executor had failed to make proper arrangements for disposal of his remains. Brady died aged 79, on 15th May, but his remains have not yet been disposed of. Brady and Myra Hindley, who died in prison in 2002, tortured and murdered five children in the 1960s. Sir Geoffrey acted after Oldham and Tameside councils raised concerns that five months after Brady’s death his executor, solicitor Robin Makin, had failed to make proper arrangements for the disposal. In issuing directions about the body’s disposal, Sir Geoffrey said: “I decline to permit the playing of the fifth movement of the Symphony Fantastique at the cremation, as Mr Makin requested.” As of yet the cremation has not taken place and nobody seems to know what to do with the resulting ashes.

And finally, an angler who nearly died when he accidentally swallowed a fish he had just caught said he feels lucky “beyond a lottery win” to have survived. Sam Quilliam, 28, stopped breathing and suffered a cardiac arrest after the Dover sole wriggled out of his hand and “swam down” his throat. He was kissing the fish in celebration of his catch on Boscombe Pier, Bournemouth when the accident happened. Paramedics managed to retrieve the fish from his airway with forceps. Mr Quilliam described how he had caught the 14cm long Dover sole while fishing with friends on 5th October. “I went to give it a kiss before throwing it back and it literally, like a bar of soap, shot out of my hand into my mouth and basically swam down my throat,” he said. “I ran around like a headless chicken and then collapsed.” Members of Boscombe Pier Sea Anglers performed CPR on their friend when he passed out before the arrival of emergency crews. Paramedic Matt Harrison, who took seven attempts to remove the fish from Mr Quilliam’s throat, said it was his “most bizarre” call-out.

On This Day

• 1793 – Queen Marie Antoinette of France is tried and convicted in a swift, pre-determined trial in the Palais de Justice, Paris, and condemned to death the following day.
• 1815 – Emperor Napoleon I begins his exile on Saint Helena in the Atlantic Ocean.
• 1863 – American Civil War: The H. L. Hunley, the first submarine to sink a ship, sinks during a test, killing its inventor, Horace L. Hunley.
• 1888 – The “From Hell” letter allegedly sent by Jack the Ripper is received by investigators.
• 1917 – World War I: At Vincennes outside Paris, Dutch dancer Mata Hari is executed by firing squad for spying for the German Empire.
• 1956 – Fortran, the first modern computer language, is shared with the coding community for the first time.

Deaths

• 1917 – Mata Hari, Dutch dancer and spy (b. 1876)
• 1946 – Hermann Göring, German general and politician (b. 1893)
• 1964 – Cole Porter, American composer and songwriter (b. 1891)
• 2011 – Betty Driver, English actress, singer, and author (b. 1920)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Dominic West (48), Sarah Ferguson (58), Steve Coogan (52), Udo Kier (73), Cliff Richard (77), Sacha Baron Cohen (46), Paul Simon (76), Chris Carter (61), Hugh Jackman (49), Robin Askwith (67), Les Dennis (64), Michelle Trachtenberg (32), Emily Deschanel (41), Stephen Moyer (48), Joan Cusack (55), Jane Krakowski (49), Luke Perry (51), John Nettles (74), Dawn French (60), Rose McIver (29), Charles Dance (71), Larry Lamb (70), Martin Kemp (56), Fiona Fullerton (61), Guillermo del Toro (53), Chris O’Dowd (38), Scott Bakula (63), Brandon Routh (38), Tony Shalhoub (64), Brian Blessed (81), Sharon Osbourne (65), Matt Damon (47), Sigourney Weaver (68), Chevy Chase (74), Kristanna Loken (38), Paul Hogan (78), Karyn Parsons (51), Ardal O’Hanlon (52) and R.L. Stine (74).