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Dead Pool 24th June 2018

In a week where the cast of Game of Thrones managed to hold a wedding where nobody died, we’ve seen rappers we have never heard of gunned down, which makes me sad as I thought of putting one on my list, but what do I know? I know nothing!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

  • XXXTentacion, 20, American rapper (“Look at Me”, “Jocelyn Flores”, “Sad!”), shot.  
  • Jimmy Wopo, 21, American rapper, shot.  
  • Big Van Vader, 63, American professional wrestler (NJPW, WWF, WCW) and football player (Los Angeles Rams), heart failure.  
  • Princess Elisabeth of Denmark, 83, Danish princess.  
  • Koko, 46, American-bred Western lowland gorilla.  
  • Sophie Gradon, 32, British reality television participant (Love Island) and beauty pageant winner (Miss Great Britain, 2009).  
  • Vinnie Paul, 54, American drummer (Pantera, Damageplan, Hellyeah).

In Other News

The Monkees’ Michael Nesmith was hospitalised in Pennsylvania on Thursday after falling on the ground as the band conducted a soundcheck at the Keswick Theatre in Glenside, Pennsylvania, where they were due to perform later that evening. The 75-year-old guitarist was still conscious as he was rushed to a local medical facility. A rep for Nesmith told us that he was subsequently discharged from the hospital, though the cause of the incident has not been announced yet. Nesmith was slated to take the stage on The Monkees Present The Mike & Micky Show Tour Thursday with longtime bandmate Micky Dolenz. The venue released a statement on its website, saying: ‘Due to illness, tonight’s show with The Monkees at the Keswick is postponed. We will be rescheduling a new date as soon as possible.  

Joe Jackson, father of Michael and Janet, and architect of The Jackson 5, is in the final stages of terminal cancer, a source close to the situation confirmed to Dead Pool Towers. Family members, including his wife Katherine, are said to have visited him in the hospital this week. Jackson, 89, has suffered from a variety of ailments in recent years, including dementia, strokes, and at least one heart attack, according to reports. The famously headstrong Jackson, father of 11 children, drove his performing family hard and at times subjected them to physical and mental abuse. The Daily Hate claims that Jackson’s “handlers” had barred certain family members from visiting him, which son and former Jackson 5 member Jermaine spoke about to the paper. “No one knew what was going on — we shouldn’t have to beg, plead, and argue to see our own father, especially at a time like this,” he reportedly said. “We have been hurting. We were not being told where he was and couldn’t get the full picture. Even from the doctor. My mother was worried sick.” “He’s very, very frail, he doesn’t have long,” he continued. “The family needs to be by his bedside — that’s our only intention in his final days.” Personally I thought they’d all like to sing RIP to the tune of ABC… 

David Dimbleby is to leave Question Time after 25 years on the BBC’s flagship political programme. The presenter, who will leave the show at the end of the year, said it was “the right moment” to go. The 79-year-old, who has chaired the show since 1994, insisted he was “not giving up broadcasting” but planned “to return to my first love: reporting”. Dimbleby, who began his broadcasting career more than 57 years ago, is the longest-serving presenter of Question Time. In addition, he has been the BBC’s main presenter for all general elections since 1979, as well as the chief commentator for many state occasions including the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. Dimbleby’s final broadcast on Question Time will be on 13th December 2018 – but there is no word yet on who will replace him or whether he’ll die of boredom soon after.

A grieving son has been crushed to death after his own mother’s coffin fell from a traditional funeral tower in Indonesia. The moment Samen  Kondorura, 40, died was caught on mobile phone video footage of the ceremony. It shows pallbearers losing their footing while carrying the casket up a bamboo ladder in the country’s North Toraja region on the country’s South Sulawesi island. The coffin falls several metres, trapping people underneath. Mr Kondorura suffered severe head injuries. He died on his way to hospital. The body of Mr Kondorura is now resting alongside that of his mother Berta.

On This Day

  • 1374 – A sudden outbreak of St. John’s Dance causes people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion. 
  • 1916 – Mary Pickford becomes the first female film star to sign a million-dollar contract.  
  • 2002 – The Igandu train disaster in Tanzania kills 281, the worst train accident in African history.  
  • 2004 – In New York, capital punishment is declared unconstitutional.  
  • 2012 – Lonesome George, the last known individual of Chelonoidis nigra abingdonii, a subspecies of the Galápagos tortoise, dies.

Deaths

  • 1908 – Grover Cleveland, American lawyer and politician, 22nd and 24th President of the United States (b. 1837)  
  • 1968 – Tony Hancock, English actor, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1924)  
  • 2014 – Eli Wallach, American actor (b. 1915)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Selma Blair (46), Melissa Rauch (38), Frances McDormand (61), Joss Whedon (54), Bryan Brown (71), Lindsay Wagner (69), Meryl Streep (69), Kris Kristofferson (82), Bruce Campbell (60), Cyndi Lauper (65), Stephen Chow (56), Tim Russ (62), Nicholas Lea (56), Prunella Scales (86), Chris Pratt (39), Lana Wachowski (53), Juliette Lewis (45), Prince William (36), Lana Del Rey (33), Nicole Kidman (51), John Goodman (66), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (29), Robert Rodriguez (50), Olympia Dukakis (87), Danny Aiello (85), Miles O’Keeffe (64), Lionel Richie (69), Brian Wilson (76), Zoe Saldana (40), Aidan Turner (35), Kathleen Turner (64), Richard Madden (32), Isabella Rossellini (66), Paul McCartney (76), Jodie Whittaker (36), Ken Loach (82) and Barry Manilow (75).

Dead Pool 17th June 2018

I was going to lead todays issue with ‘Dirty Den Fighting For His Life’, alas he decided to die prematurely and spoil everything!! However, plenty more stories to read, but a slight lack of famous deaths this week. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

  • Jackson Odell, 20, American actor (The Goldbergs, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, iCarly).  
  • Matt Murphy, 88, American guitarist (The Blues Brothers).
  • Leslie Grantham, 71, English actor (EastEnders, Fort Boyard, The Paradise Club).

 In Other News

A temporary restraining order has been issued in Los Angeles against the carer of Marvel Comics magnate Stan Lee, following allegations of elder abuse. Keya Morgan, who has been the 95-year-old’s manager for several months, has taken advantage of Mr Lee’s vulnerability, his former lawyer Tom Lallas says. New York memorabilia dealer Mr Morgan, 41, “inserted himself into Mr Lee’s life” after his British-born wife of 69 years, Joan, died in 2017, Mr Lallas wrote in the petition for the restraining order. Mr Lallas has alleged in court documents that Mr Morgan controlled access to Mr Lee, including by hiring security guards, and moved him from his family home. “Mr Morgan is unduly influencing Mr Lee and isolating him,” Mr Lallas wrote. Mr Morgan was arrested on Monday on suspicion of making a false call to the police, reporting that a burglary was taking place at Mr Lee’s home. Police say the call was made as two detectives and a social worker were conducting a welfare check on Mr Lee. According to a transcript of the 30 May call filed with the restraining order, Mr Morgan said that “three unidentified people have gone inside this house and locked the door and locked his security out and I’m very, very scared that they’re harming him”.  

Former New Zealand fast bowler Sir Richard Hadlee has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. A statement released by New Zealand Cricket on behalf of Hadlee’s wife Lady Dianne said the 66-year-old has had surgery to remove a tumour. “As a safeguard, further treatment in the form of chemotherapy will commence shortly and last for a few months,” the statement added. “It is expected that, in time, he will have a full recovery.” If any of you give a shit, Hadlee is regarded as one of New Zealand’s finest cricketers having taken 431 wickets in 86 Tests…. Yawn….    

Vince Vaughn has been arrested on suspicion of drink-driving, police in the US have confirmed. The Hollywood star was stopped at a police checkpoint outside of Los Angeles in the early hours of Sunday morning. Vaughn and his passenger were also charged for public intoxication and resisting, delaying or obstructing officers. Both men were taken to the Manhattan Beach jail, and later released. Sgt Tim Zins, a spokesman for the Manhattan Beach Police Department, said the charges for resisting arrest were not to do with Vaughn “fighting police officers, but more of delaying the investigation”. The arrest occurred around 01:00 PST (09:00 BST) on Sunday and is Vaughn’s first drink-driving arrest. The actor, best known for films including Dodgeball and Wedding Crashers, was previously arrested in 2001 following a bar brawl which saw fellow actor Steve Buscemi stabbed in the face, throat, and arm when he intervened in a fight between Vaughn, screenwriter Scott Rosenberg, and another man. Vaughn was arrested for assault following the incident, but the charges were later dropped.

On This Day

  • 1631 – Mumtaz Mahal dies during childbirth. Her husband, Mughal emperor Shah Jahan I, will spend the next 17 years building her mausoleum, the Taj Mahal.  
  • 1939 – Last public guillotining in France: Eugen Weidmann, a convicted murderer, is guillotined in Versailles outside the Saint-Pierre prison.  
  • 1994 – Following a televised low-speed highway chase, O. J. Simpson is arrested for the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman.

Deaths

  • 2008 – Cyd Charisse, American actress and dancer (b. 1922)  
  • 2012 – Rodney King, American victim of police brutality (b. 1965)  
  • 2014 – Patsy Byrne, English actress (b. 1933)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Arnold Vosloo (56), James Bolam (83), Courteney Cox (54), Helen Hunt (55), Neil Patrick Harris (45), Ice Cube (49), Jim Belushi (64), Yasmine Bleeth (50), Donald Trump (72), Boy George (57), Steffi Graf  (49), Chris Evans (37), Stellan Skarsgård (67), Ally Sheedy (56), Tim Allen (65), Malcolm McDowell (75), Mary-Kate Olsen & Ashley Olsen (32), Richard Thomas (67), Simon Callow (69), Kathy Burke (54), Richard Ayoade (41), Adriana Lima (37), Elizabeth Hurley (53), Kate Upton (26), Jürgen Prochnow (77) and Prince Philip (97).

Dead Pool 10th June 2018

After what seems like weeks of no deaths, we’re suddenly overrun by a deluge of suicides and natural causes! There’s a couple in the list from May that we missed due to poor reporting on the media’s part, and surprisingly, nobody scored, even though we all knew Stringfellow had cancer. Let’s hope next week brings in some points.    

Look Who You Could Have Had:

  • Johnnie Keyes, 78, American pornographic actor (Behind the Green Door), stroke.  
  • Kate Spade, 55, American fashion designer (Kate Spade New York), suicide by hanging.  
  • Mary Wilson, Baroness Wilson of Rievaulx, 102, British poet, Spouse of the Prime Minister (1964–1970, 1974–1976), stroke.  
  • Glynn Edwards, 87, British actor (Minder, Get Carter, The Paper Lads).  
  • Jerry Maren, 98, American actor (The Wizard of Oz), heart failure.
  • Peter Stringfellow, 77, English businessman and nightclub owner, cancer.  
  • Anthony Bourdain, 61, American chef, author and television host (No Reservations, Parts Unknown, The Layover), 4-time Emmy winner, suicide by hanging.  
  • Eunice Gayson, 90, British actress (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, The Revenge of Frankenstein).  
  • Danny Kirwan, 68, British Hall of Fame guitarist (Fleetwood Mac, Tramp).

In Other News

For the first time in 50 years, Radio 4 comedy panel show Just A Minute was not hosted by Nicholas Parsons. The 94-year-old broadcaster, who has been at the helm of the  programme for more than 900 episodes, was replaced by regular panellist Gyles Brandreth. The unexpected absence led to a minor frenzy on Twitter, with one fan saying “hell had frozen over”. But the BBC’s head of radio comedy explained that Parsons was “taking a couple of days off”. Julia McKenzie tweeted that Parsons is “totally fine” and the “apocalypse is not upon us”. The BBC said he will be recording an edition of ‘Just a Minute’ this Wednesday as usual and will be back on air in a couple of weeks. Parsons began presenting the panel show in 1967, ensuring that players of the game speak on a subject for 60 seconds without hesitation, repetition or deviation. When introducing the show, former MP Brandreth said: “After 50 years at the helm he quite rightly thinks he should be allowed a day off.”  

Comedian Michael McIntyre was robbed by two men on a moped while he was parked outside his children’s school, his publicist said. The men smashed his car windows with a hammer on Monday before taking his watch and fleeing, it was reported. His wife Kitty said the star was “fine” after the robbery at about 14:00 BST on North End Road in Golders Green, north-west London. Asked if they were concerned about the family’s safety, Ms McIntyre said “no”. Local residents spoke to BBC Radio London following the robbery. One resident, who has lived on the leafy road for 30 years, said: “I’m not worried because I don’t wear a Rolex and don’t drive around in a Range Rover.” Sadly the whole event has supplied McIntyre with a slew of material for his upcoming shows.  

The Queen has had surgery on her eye to remove a cataract. A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “I can confirm that the Queen successfully underwent a short planned procedure to treat a cataract last month.” The 92-year-old monarch had been seen wearing sunglasses at recent events, including the Royal Windsor Horse Show, but did not cancel any engagements. The Queen was treated as a day patient at the private King Edward VII’s hospital in London. In July 1995, the Queen Mother had a cataract operation at the age of 94. A family history of cataracts can increase a person’s risk of developing them. So we don’t have a Queen who has decided to go ‘cool’ in her twilight years, just a blind old bat. 

A crocodile has killed a Protestant pastor who was baptising followers near a lake in southern Ethiopia. Docho Eshete was conducting the  ceremony for about 80 people on Sunday morning at Lake Abaya in Arba Minch town’s Merkeb Tabya district. Residents and police told Dead Pool Media that a crocodile leapt from the water, in what can only be described as an act of God during the baptism and attacked him. Pastor Docho died after being bitten on his legs, back and hands. “He baptised the first person and he passed on to another one. All of a sudden, a crocodile jumped out of the lake and grabbed the pastor,” local resident Ketema Kairo told us. Despite huge efforts, fishermen and residents could not save pastor Docho. They used fishing nets to prevent the crocodile from taking the pastor’s body into the lake, luckily the crocodile escaped. 

On This Day

  • 671 – Emperor Tenji of Japan introduces a water clock (clepsydra) called Rokoku. The instrument, which measures time and indicates hours, is placed in the capital of Ōtsu.  
  • 1692 – Salem witch trials: Bridget Bishop is hanged at Gallows Hill near Salem, Massachusetts, for “certaine Detestable Arts called Witchcraft & Sorceries”.  
  • 1786 – A landslide dam on the Dadu River created by an earthquake ten days earlier collapses, killing 100,000 in the Sichuan province of China.  
  • 1886 – Mount Tarawera in New Zealand erupts, killing 153 people and burying the famous Pink and White Terraces. Eruptions continue for three months creating a large, 17 km long fissure across the mountain peak.  
  • 1935 – Dr. Robert Smith takes his last drink, and Alcoholics Anonymous is founded in Akron, Ohio, United States, by him and Bill Wilson.

Deaths

  • 323 BC – Alexander the Great, Macedonian king (b. 356 BC)  
  • 1967 – Spencer Tracy, American actor (b. 1900)
  • 1993 – Les Dawson, English comedian, actor, writer and presenter (b. 1931)  
  • 2004 – Ray Charles, American singer-songwriter, pianist, and actor (b. 1930)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Natalie Portman (37), Johnny Depp (55), Eddie Marsan (50), Michael J. Fox (57), Griffin Dunne (63), Nancy Sinatra (78), Kanye West (41), Colin Baker (75), Michael Cera (30), Liam Neeson (66), Karl Urban (46), Bill Hader (40), Anna Torv  (39), Helen Baxendale (48), Tom Jones (78), Bear Grylls (44), Anna Kournikova (37), Iggy Azalea (28), Jason Isaacs (55), Paul Giamatti (51), Robert Englund (71), Sandra Bernhard (63), Gianna Michaels (35), Josie Lawrence (59), Mark Wahlberg (47),  Mel Giedroyc (50), Angelina Jolie (43), Noah Wyle (47), Bruce Dern (82), Sean Pertwee (54), Russell Brand (43), Bradley Walsh (58), Imogen Poots (29), James Purefoy (54) and Suzi Quatro (68).

Dead Pool 3rd June 2018

Since barely anyone you will have known has died over the last week, I have brought low the Dead Pool by listing people with interesting sounding names instead. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

US First Lady Melania Trump, not seen in public since a hospital operation this month, has sought to scotch rumours about her health and marriage. “Rest assured, I’m here at the @WhiteHouse w my family,” a tweet posted on her account says. Gossip has mounted in the 20 days since she was last seen, with President Donald Trump as he welcomed home three US detainees from North Korea. The White House has already dismissed claims about the Trumps’ relationship. On 14th May, the White House said Mrs Trump, 48, would be admitted to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Centre near Washington DC for “an embolisation procedure to treat a benign kidney condition”. “The procedure was successful and there were no complications,” a statement from the White House said after her release on 20th May. But her five-day hospital stay for what was described as relatively minor surgery did little to stop tongues wagging. She has not been pictured since then, and has only released one previous tweet referring to her medical treatment. After she skipped the White House Sports and Fitness Day on Wednesday – an event heavily promoted by former First Lady Michelle Obama – the speculation only intensified. Let’s face it though, after all she’d had to do and go through to get Trump’s billions, she’s not going to die easily.   

Children’s author Sir Michael Morpurgo has spoken of his battle with cancer. The renowned former children’s laureate, now 74, had radiotherapy last year to treat cancer of the larynx. He said he had “excellent prospects for a full recovery” and his voice was finding “new strength”. Sir Michael’s most famous book, War Horse, about a young boy’s attempts to save his horse during the First World War, has been successfully adapted for film and the stage. He had cancelled several public appearances in September due to ill-health but the nature of his illness had not been known. In an article for this week’s Spectator magazine, Sir Michael said: “By 74 it is easy to feel that you have seen it all, done it all, that nothing much surprises you any more. “Even an unwelcome medical diagnosis does not surprise you. You cope because you have to. You know it’s what happens to us all.” Reflecting that many suffer illness earlier in life, he added: “I’ve been a lucky old parrot”.  

Brigitte Nielsen has announced she is expecting a baby with husband Mattia Dessi at the age of 54. This will be the Danish actress’s fifth child, but her first with her current husband, who she married in 2006. So one expects that although she’s as old as the hills to have a baby, her well used and most likely prolapsed vagina will undoubtedly deal with the upcoming upheaval like a trooper, just think of Gandalf’s fist appearing from his sleeve. Nielsen is best known for starring in Rocky IV and Cobra alongside Sylvester Stallone, who she later married in 1985. She has also had a successful modelling career, appearing in Playboy magazine on several occasions. Nielsen joins a number of high-profile women having babies later, including Janet Jackson and Rachel Weisz, both of whom are far younger than Nielsen and barely survived the ordeal.

On This Day

  • 1937 – The Duke of Windsor marries Wallis Simpson.   
  • 1965 – The launch of Gemini 4, the first multi-day space mission by a NASA crew. Ed White, a crew member, performs the first American spacewalk.   
  • 1969 – Melbourne–Evans collision: off the coast of South Vietnam, the Australian aircraft carrier HMAS Melbourne cuts the U.S. Navy destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half.  
  • 2012 – The pageant for the Diamond Jubilee of Elizabeth II takes place on the River Thames.  
  • 2017 – London Bridge attack: Eight people are murdered and dozens of civilians are wounded by Islamist terrorists. Three of the attackers are shot dead by the police.

Deaths

  • 1989 – Ruhollah Khomeini, Iranian religious leader, 1st Supreme Leader of Iran (b. 1902)  
  • 1990 – Robert Noyce, American physicist, co-founded the Intel Corporation (b. 1927)  
  • 1992 – Robert Morley, English actor and screenwriter (b. 1908)  
  • 2001 – Anthony Quinn, Mexican-American actor and producer (b. 1915)  
  • 2009 – David Carradine, American actor (b. 1936)  
  • 2010 – Rue McClanahan, American actress (b. 1934)  
  • 2016 – Muhammad Ali, American boxer (b. 1942)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Morena Baccarin (39), Dominic Cooper (40), Jewel Staite (36), Zachary Quinto (41), Justin Long (40), Dana Carvey (63), Liam Cunningham (57), Tom Holland (22), Morgan Freeman (81), Amy Schumer (37), Brian Cox (72), Jonathan Pryce (71), Rene Auberjonois (78), Alanis Morissette (44), Heidi Klum (45), Robert Powell (74), Clint Eastwood (88), Lea Thompson (57), Colin Farrell (42), Brooke Shields (53), Tom Berenger (69), Sharon Gless (75), Keir Dullea (82), Jennifer Ellison (35), Mark Sheppard (54), Stephen Tobolowsky (67), Colm Meaney (65), Duncan Jones (47), Harry Enfield (57), Leigh Francis (45), Annette Bening (60), Danny Elfman (65), La Toya Jackson (62), Melanie Brown (43), Kylie Minogue (50), Sondra Locke (74) and the wonderful Julie T. Wallace (57).

Dead Pool 27th May 2018

Hello peeps! Sorry for the late edition, but life comes before writing about deaths. Just a quick update this time around, so ideal for reading when you’re on the throne. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Willie Nelson walked out on stage Saturday night for a date on his Outlaw Music Festival tour at the PNC Music Pavilion, but after picking up his trusty acoustic guitar Trigger and briefly putting it on, he set it back down, flung his cowboy hat into the crowd and left the stage. The 85 year-old singer could be seen walking out of the stage door after what was reportedly his second attempt to take the stage that night. Promoters later released a statement chalking up the incident to an unspecified illness. “Due to illness, Willie Nelson was unable to play tonight at the Outlaw Music Festival at PNC Music Pavilion Charlotte,” read the statement. “Fans are asked to please hold on to their tickets until the new date is announced.” Nelson had not commented on the skipped show on social media; a spokesperson for Nelson confirmed that he was suffering from a “stomach bug” that prevented him from performing and that the Charlotte show will be rescheduled at a later date.

On This Day

  • 1930 – The 1,046 feet (319 m) Chrysler Building in New York City, the tallest man-made structure at the time, opens to the public.  
  • 1937 – In California, the Golden Gate Bridge opens to pedestrian traffic, creating a vital link between San Francisco and Marin County, California.  
  • 1975 – Dibbles Bridge coach crash near Grassington, in North Yorkshire, England, kills 33 – the highest ever death toll in a road accident in the United Kingdom.

Deaths

  • 1831 – Jedediah Smith, American hunter, explorer, and author (b. 1799)  
  • 1910 – Robert Koch, German physician and microbiologist, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1843)  
  • 1949 – Robert Ripley, American cartoonist, publisher, and businessman, founded Ripley’s Believe It or Not! (b. 1890)  
  • 1969 – Jeffrey Hunter, American actor and producer (b. 1926)  
  • 2013 – Bill Pertwee, English actor (b. 1926)  
  • 2017 – Gregg Allman, American musician, singer and songwriter (b. 1947)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Paul Bettany (47), Joseph Fiennes (48), Louis Gossett Jr. (82), Helena Bonham Carter (52), Pam Grier (69), Bobcat Goldthwait (56), Lenny Kravitz (54), Stevie Nicks (70), Patsy Palmer (46), Cillian Murphy (42), Mike Myers (55), Ian McKellen (79), Frank Oz (74), Stephanie Turner (74), Doug Jones (58), John C. Reilly (53), Alfred Molina (65),  Jim Broadbent (69), Priscilla Presley (73), Gary Burghoff (75), Bob Dylan (77),  Eric Cantona (52), Joan Collins (85), Ginnifer Goodwin  (40), Naomi Campbell (48), Mr. T  (66), Noel Fielding (45) and Belladonna (37).