Although the flying monkeys were sent to do their worst, they have failed miserably to give us some point scoring, however they have ensured that there is plenty of news to read. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Tania Mallet, 77, English model and actress (Goldfinger). 
• Vonda N. McIntyre, 70, American science fiction author (Dreamsnake, The Crystal Star), pancreatic cancer. 
• Dan Robbins, 93, American commercial artist, created paint by number. 
• John Quarmby, 89, English actor (Fawlty Towers, K-9 and Company, A Christmas Carol).

In Other News 

EastEnders veteran June Brown has said she can no longer recognise her friends as she deals with age-related macular degeneration at the age of 92. The actress, who plays Dot in the BBC One show, says she has lived with the condition for 10 years. The sight-losing condition is common and can first affect people in their 50s and 60s. Brown said she has no central vision at all and can no longer respond to fan mail. “I haven’t driven for years and I can’t really go out socially due to my eyesight,” said the actress. Brown has starred in EastEnders since 1985 and revealed in 2018 that this will be her last year on the show. The actress said her condition was getting worse despite undergoing eye surgery in 2017. “I never go to soap awards or suchlike now.” she said. “I don’t recognise people that I know and they would think I was snubbing them. “Just pray for your health and strength, hearing and eyesight, and an active mind,” she added. 

The Rolling Stones frontman Sir Mick Jagger has said he is “on the mend” and “feeling much better” after receiving hospital treatment. The singer has  reportedly undergone heart valve replacement surgery. In a tweet Jagger, 75, thanked hospital staff “for doing a superb job” as well as fans for their messages of support. The band postponed their tour of the US and Canada after Jagger was advised by doctors that he needed medical treatment. Jagger previously apologised to fans for postponing the tour, writing that he was “devastated” and would be “working very hard to be back on stage as soon as I can”. 

Ozzy Osbourne has postponed all of his 2019 tour dates after aggravating an old injury while falling at his Los Angeles home. Osbourne, 70, will remain under doctor’s care in L.A as he “recovers from an injury sustained while dealing with pneumonia.” The illness forced the metal legend to axe large parts of his No More Tours 2 tour earlier this year. It’s the latest in a serious of health issues for the rocker, who – according to his wife Sharon – stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating after a quad bike accident in 2003. In a statement on Facebook, Osbourne said: “I can’t believe I have to reschedule more tour dates. “Words cannot express how frustrated, angry and depressed I am not to be able to tour right now.” He added: “I’m grateful for the love and support I’m getting from my family, my band, friends and fans, it’s really what’s keeping me going. Just know that I am getting better every day… I will fully recover… I will finish my tour…I will be back!”  

Britney Spears has checked into a mental health facility after suffering from emotional  distress. The pop star is expected to be in treatment for a month after being admitted more than a week ago. It’s believed that Spears, who announced a hiatus from music in January, has been concerned by her father’s health crisis over the past year. The singer halted her Las Vegas residency to look after her parent, writing on Instagram: “A couple of months ago, my father was hospitalised and almost died. We’re all so grateful that he came out of it alive, but he still has a long road ahead of him. I had to make the difficult decision to put my full focus and energy on my family at this time.”  A source said, “Her dad being sick has taken a toll on her. He nearly died and actually had another surgery a few weeks ago. He’s not doing well. They’re so close and it has been a lot. There is nothing dramatic going on with her, she just realised she needs to make sure to take time to care for herself.”  

Pele has fallen ill again, this time in Paris but is not in a life-threatening condition. The 78-year-old recently met up with Paris Saint-Germain star Kylian Mbappe in the French capital for a promotional campaign. There are conflicting reports on whether Pele was admitted to hospital, as was initially claimed by French radio station RMC Sports. But the Brazilian’s team claim he was treated in his hotel after suffering from a fever.

BBC Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen has revealed he has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. The former BBC Breakfast host said he was undergoing chemotherapy after noticing “funny pains in my legs and in my back” whilst in Iraq last May. April is bowel cancer awareness month and Bowen shared his diagnosis to encourage others to get tested. Doctors initially believed the veteran journalist’s pain was due to scarring from previous surgery, he told BBC Breakfast, the show which he presented alongside Sophie Raworth between 2000 and 2002. “I had no symptoms – none of the classic bowel cancer symptoms. Nothing at all. But I thought I should get a test,” the 59-year-old said. Bowen said he received a positive result and had a colonoscopy – a camera inserted into his colon to look for signs of cancer. Surgeons found a tumour, which they removed, and he started chemotherapy, he said. Bowen, born in Cardiff, and a BBC journalist for 35 years, said his diagnosis “could have been earlier, but had it been later it would have been much more serious”. Bowel cancer is the fourth most common cancer in the UK, with 42,000 people diagnosed every year.

On This Day

• 1827 – John Walker, an English chemist, sells the first friction match that he had invented the previous year, arsonists rejoice!  
• 1968 – Motor racing world champion Jim Clark is killed in an accident during a Formula Two race at Hockenheim.  
• 1978 – Development of the neutron bomb is cancelled by President Jimmy Carter. 
• 1999 – The World Trade Organization rules in favour of the United States in its long-running trade dispute with the European Union over bananas.

Deaths

• AD 30 – Jesus Christ of Nazareth, (possible date of the crucifixion) (b. circa 4 BC) 
• 1739 – Dick Turpin, English criminal (b. 1705) 
• 1891 – P. T. Barnum, American businessman and politician, co-founded The Barnum & Bailey Circus (b. 1810) 
• 1947 – Henry Ford, American engineer and businessman, founded the Ford Motor Company (b. 1863) 
• 2001 – David Graf, American actor (b. 1950)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Paul Rudd (50), Zach Braff (44), John Ratzenberger (72), Billy Dee Williams (82), Mitch Pileggi (67), Jane Asher (73), Pharrell Williams (46), Robert Downey Jr. (54), Hugo Weaving (59), Xenia Seeberg (51), Eddie Murphy (58), Alec Baldwin (61), Amanda Bynes (33), Paris Jackson (21), Pedro Pascal (44), Michael Fassbender (42), Linda Hunt (74), Clark Gregg (57), Penelope Keith (79), Mackenzie Davis (32), Ali MacGraw (80), Annette O’Toole (67), Ewan McGregor (48), Christopher Walken (76), Rhea Perlman (71), and Richard Chamberlain (85).

Another week, no points. I hate to say it, but we need the evil flying monkeys out and about this week. Look out for some big names dropping from Monday onwards, last time we sent them out we got a good crop! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Scott Walker, 76, American-born British singer-songwriter (The Walker Brothers), composer and record producer.  
• Larry Cohen, 82, American film director (It’s Alive, The Stuff).  
• Lyle Tuttle, 87, American tattoo artist.  
• Yoji Harada, 46, Japanese tattoo artist and reality show personality (Miami Ink).  
• Stephen Fitzpatrick, 24, British rock musician (Her’s), traffic collision. 
• Audun Laading, 25, Norwegian rock musician (Her’s), traffic collision.  
• Shane Rimmer, 89, Canadian-born British actor (Thunderbirds, Dr. Strangelove, The Spy Who Loved Me).

 In Other News

The Rolling Stones have postponed their latest tour of the US and Canada so that Mick Jagger can receive medical treatment. The band announced on Saturday that Jagger was told by doctors “he cannot go on tour at this time”. Jagger, 75, “is expected to make a complete recovery so that he can get back on stage as soon as possible,” the group added. The singer-songwriter tweeted: “I’m devastated for having to postpone the tour but I will be working very hard to be back on stage as soon as I can. I’m so sorry to all our fans in America and Canada with tickets. I really hate letting you down like this.” A rep for the band declined to elaborate on Jagger’s medical condition. The band’s No Filter world tour officially started in September 2017 with a concert in Hamburg, Germany.

Keith Duffy of Boyzone was rushed to hospital in Bangkok, Thailand on Thursday 29th March, leading to him missing out on the band’s show. Keith, 44, is currently on tour with Ronan Keating, 42, Shane Lynch, 42, and Mikey Graham, 42, as they perform their final series of concerts. Boyzone have now given an update on Keith’s health, revealing that he is still receiving care in hospital and will not be able to fly to Australia with the band. A post on the band’s Instagram account read: “@officialkeithduffy remains in hospital in Bangkok where doctors will continue overnight with treatment of a viral infection. “Keith will now be unable to fly to Perth in time to join the Boyz for the first night of their Australian tour. As difficult as Ronan, Shane & Mikey find it to perform without their brother, they are determined that the show must go on and look forward to seeing everyone at the HBF Stadium, Perth on Saturday night. The update comes after Ronan opened up on the hospitalisation, claiming that Keith was on a “downward spiral.” “He came to the gig, he had a really high temperature, the doctors arrived at the gig and they said it wasn’t possible for him to go on in the state he was in.” “We assumed it was food poisoning or something like that but there may be something else going on.

Britain’s two oldest men are marking their 111th birthdays. Alf Smith, from St Madoes, Perthshire, and Bob Weighton, from Alton, Hampshire, were both born on 29th March 1908. Mr Weighton, who grew up in Hull, said he had requested not to have a birthday card from the Queen in order to save public funds. The men have never met but have exchanged birthday cards in recent years. It is not known which of them was born first. Mr Weighton is celebrating his birthday by officially launching his new book of poems, to raise funds for elderly people in Alton. The former teacher and engineer has two sons and a daughter, 10 grandchildren and 25 great-grandchildren. He said the world had changed “enormously” in his lifetime but people had mostly stayed the same. Mr Weighton said the most common question he was asked was about the secret of his longevity. But his only advice on the matter was “to avoid dying”, he said. 

On This Day

• 1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened.  
• 1985 – The first WrestleMania, the biggest wrestling event from the WWE (then the WWF), takes place in Madison Square Garden in New York City.  
• 1990 – Approximately 200,000 protesters take to the streets of London to protest against the newly introduced Poll Tax.  

Deaths

• 1837 – John Constable, English painter and educator (b. 1776)  
• 1855 – Charlotte Brontë, English novelist and poet (b. 1816)  
• 1913 – J. P. Morgan, American banker and financier (b. 1837)  
• 1993 – Brandon Lee, American actor and martial artist (b. 1965)  
• 2002 – Barry Took, English comedian, actor, and screenwriter (b. 1928)  
• 2003 – Anne Gwynne, American actress (b. 1918)  
• 2016 – Ronnie Corbett, Scottish comedian, actor and screenwriter (b. 1930)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Robbie Coltrane (69), Warren Beatty (82), Donna D’Errico (51), Céline Dion (51), Eric Clapton (74), Piers Morgan (54), Lucy Lawless (51), Christopher Lambert (62), Marina Sirtis (64), Brendan Gleeson (64), Elle Macpherson (55), Eric Idle (76), Lady Gaga (33), Julia Stiles (38), Vince Vaughn (49), Nick Frost (47), Dianne Wiest (71), Chris Barrie (59), Quentin Tarantino (56), Nathan Fillion (48), Julian Glover (84), Michael York (77), Mariah Carey (49), Fergie (44), Jessie J (31), Keira Knightley (34), Jennifer Grey (59), James Caan (79), Martin Short (69), Billy Warlock (58), Diana Ross (75), Steven Tyler (71), Lee Pace (40), Sarah Jessica Parker (54), Paul Michael Glaser (76), Elton John (72), Richard O’Brien (77), Jessica Chastain (42), Lara Flynn Boyle (49), Alyson Hannigan (45), Jim Parsons (46), Kelly LeBrock (59), and Mary Berry (84).

Another slow week where you’d be pardoned for not knowing who the listed are. A bad week for mathematicians it seems, but listing them would have been as useful as me trying to figure out Pi to twenty decimal points using only a pencil and paper. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Mary Warnock, Baroness Warnock, 94, British philosopher. 
• Kenneth To, 26, Hong Kong-born Australian swimmer, FINA Swimming World Cup overall winner (2012), Youth Olympics champion (2010).  
• Andre Williams, 82, American R&B singer and songwriter (“Shake a Tail Feather“), colon cancer.
• Dick Dale, 81, American guitarist and surf music pioneer (“Let’s Go Trippin‘“, “Misirlou“), heart failure.

In Other News

Former East 17 frontman Brian Harvey has been arrested on suspicion of sending “malicious communications” during a live-stream. The singer was taken to a hospital after threatening to self-harm. He did not suffer any injuries. “At approximately 18:09 on Thursday, 21 March police were alerted to man threatening self-harm,’ the Metropolitan Police said. “Officers subsequently attended an address in Walthamstow to complete a welfare check. A man in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of malicious communications. Following a mental health assessment at hospital, the man has been taken into police custody where he remains. He did not suffer any injuries.” Harvey spoke about financial struggles and said he has been living on benefits on the live-stream. The footage also showed the police arriving at the property and arresting Harvey. In a previous video, Harvey discussed his battles with his own mental health, saying he had not left his house for years. “I’ve been a prisoner in my own home now for about five years. Four to five years,’ he said. Well, he’s now had a little trip to a cell in the centre of London.  

Global warming has contributed to greater numbers of bodies of dead climbers emerging from thinning snow and ice on Mount Everest in recent years, authorities have said. Since it was first conquered by Tenzing Norgay and Sir Edmund Hillary in 1953 almost 300 people have died during the attempt. Removing bodies from the mountain is difficult and very expensive, so the vast majority of those who have died while trying to reach the summit remain on the mountain. Around two-thirds of the corpses are currently believed to be buried beneath ice and snow. But Ang Tshering Sherpa, the former president of Nepal Mountaineering Association said that “the ice sheet and glaciers are fast melting and the dead bodies that remained buried all these years are now becoming exposed”. He said: “We have brought down dead bodies of some mountaineers who died in recent years, but the old ones that remained buried are now coming out.” This was backed up by a government officer who worked in the region, who said: “I myself have retrieved around 10 dead bodies in recent years from different locations on Everest and clearly more and more of them are emerging now.” Several studies have indicated the Himalayas are in the grip of considerable loss of ice from glaciers and the trend is forecast to accelerate.  

And finally, twat of the week goes to a woman in China who almost died after injecting herself with a cocktail of more than 20 different fruit juices. In an effort to improve improve her health the 51-year-old from Guiyang County in Chenzhou, Hunan province, gave herself an intravenous infusion by drip. After injecting herself with the mixture, the woman had itchy skin and a rising temperature. The woman, who was interested in unconventional health treatments, suffered liver, kidney, heart and lung damage and was put into intensive care for five days. “I had thought fresh fruits were very nutritious and it would not do me harm by injecting them into my body,” she said. “I had no idea that would get me into such trouble.” Doctors at the Affiliated Hospital of Xiangnan University in Hunan removed toxins from her blood using dialysis, injected clotting agents and gave her antibiotics. After five days her condition improved and she was transferred from intensive care to the hospital’s kidney unit and eventually discharged. 

On This Day

• 1603 – James VI of Scotland becomes James I of England and Ireland, upon the death of Elizabeth I.  
• 1896 – A. S. Popov makes the first radio signal transmission in history.  
• 1944 – World War II: In an event later dramatised in the movie The Great Escape, 76 Allied prisoners of war begin breaking out of the German camp Stalag Luft III.  
• 1989 – In Prince William Sound in Alaska, the Exxon Valdez spills 240,000 barrels (38,000 m³) of crude oil after running aground.  
• 1999 – A lorry carrying margarine and flour catches fire inside the Mont Blanc Tunnel. The resulting inferno kills 38 people.

Deaths

• 1603 – Elizabeth I of England (b. 1533)  
• 1776 – John Harrison, English carpenter and clockmaker, invented the Marine chronometer (b. 1693)  
• 1905 – Jules Verne, French novelist, poet, and playwright (b. 1828)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Michelle Monaghan (43), Keri Russell (43), Catherine Keener (60), Marin Hinkle (53), Hope Davis (55), Amanda Plummer (62), Joanna Page (41), John Wayne Bobbitt (52), Chaka Khan (66), Reese Witherspoon (43), William Shatner (88), Lena Olin (64), Carter Wong (72), Andrew Lloyd Webber (71), Sonequa Martin-Green (34), Gary Oldman (61), Timothy Dalton (73), Matthew Broderick (57), Jaye Davidson (51), Rosie O’Donnell (57), Ruby Rose (33), Holly Hunter (61), Freema Agyeman (40), Spike Lee (62), David Thewlis (56), William Hurt (69), Carl Reiner (97), Bruce Willis (64), Glenn Close (72), Ursula Andress (83), Harvey Weinstein (67), Brad Dourif (69), Luc Besson (60), Vanessa Williams (56), Irene Cara (60), Kurt Russell (68), Rob Lowe (55), Gary Sinise (64), John Boyega (27), and Patrick Duffy (70), 

You are forgiven for not knowing who this weeks deaths are, we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ‘celebrities’. Unless you are an F1 fan or actually watched Love Island, you might remember the horny milkman from Father Ted. It goes without saying, no points this week…    

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• George Morfogen, 85, American actor (Oz, V).  
• Angus Sinclair, 73, Scottish serial killer.   
• Pat Laffan, 79, Irish actor (Father Ted, The Snapper).   
• Charlie Whiting, 66, British motorsports director, FIA Formula 1 race director (since 1997), pulmonary embolism.  
• Michael Thalassitis, 26, English-born Cypriot footballer (Boreham Wood, Ebbsfleet United) and reality show personality (Love Island).

In Other News

Katie Price has been criticised by a judge for not “bothering” to turn up at court. The 40-year-old, from West Sussex, was due to appear before magistrates in Crawley accused of  two charges of using threatening and abusive words or behaviour in Shipley last September. District judge Amanda Kelly said Ms Price’s failure to appear showed a lack of respect for the court system. The court heard Ms Price, of Dial Post, near Horsham, was out of the country. At the hearing, which was adjourned to 20 March, the judge said: “She hasn’t bothered to turn up today. “Apparently she has something more important to do.” The court heard Ms Price would have been notified of the need to attend in a postal requisition sent in February and would have known about the case. Ms Kelly said: “This shows a lack of respect for the whole court system.” She said it would be “tempting” to consider an arrest, but she would “reluctantly” adjourn the hearing. 

Police in Slovenia have accused a woman of cutting  off her hand with a circular saw – with the help of her family – to make a fraudulent insurance claim. The 21-year-old and a relative have been detained and face up to eight years in prison if convicted. The suspects recently took out injury insurance, police say. The woman allegedly stood to gain about €400,000 (£340,000; $450,000) in compensation and monthly payments of about €3,000 from the policy. Four members of the family were initially detained earlier this year, but two were later released. Police say the group deliberately cut the woman’s hand above the wrist with a circular saw 1at their home in the capital Ljubljana. Relatives took her to hospital, saying she had injured herself while sawing branches. Officials say the group left the severed hand behind rather than bring it to hospital, to ensure the disability was permanent. But the authorities recovered it in time to sew it back on.  

A fox has died in extraordinary circumstances after losing the ultimate game of chicken during a night-time raid on a henhouse. Students at Gros-Chene secondary school in Brittany were shocked to discover the dead body of the fox riddled with peck marks during their morning rounds last week. The school maintains their brood of free-range chickens ganged up on the animal, attacking it in large numbers and overcoming it. “There, in the corner, we found this dead fox,” Pascal Daniel, head of farming at the school, told news agency AFP. “There was a herd instinct and they attacked him with their beaks.” The animal was reportedly surrounded, then killed in a corner of the building home to 3,000 chickens. “It was a juvenile of five or six months, about 60cm long. He did not seem sick and in any case, he did not have scabies,” Mr Daniel said. Apparently no chickens were found to have been injured during the incident. It is thought the fox entered at dusk and then become trapped inside by light-controlled automatic doors that close when the sun goes down. 

On This Day

• 1963 – Mount Agung erupted on Bali killing more than 1,100 people. 
• 1966 – Off the coast of Spain in the Mediterranean, the DSV Alvin submarine finds a missing American hydrogen bomb.  
• 1985 – Serial killer Richard Ramirez, aka the “Night Stalker”, commits the first two murders in his Los Angeles murder spree.

Deaths

• 180 – Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor (b. 121) 
• 1997 – Jermaine Stewart, American singer-songwriter and dancer (b. 1957) 
• 2011 – Michael Gough, English actor (b. 1916)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Alexandra Daddario (33), Alan Tudyk (48), Jerome Flynn (56), Erik Estrada (70), Judah Friedlander (50), Jimmy Nail (65), Eva Longoria (44), David Cronenberg (76), Ruth Bader Ginsburg (86), Will.i.am (44), Lynda La Plante (76), Jamie Bell (33), Michael Caine (86), Billy Crystal (71), Quincy Jones (86), William H. Macy (69), Danny Masterson (43), Annabeth Gish (48), Jaimie Alexander (35), Titus Welliver (58), Aaron Eckhart (51), Liza Minnelli (73), Alex Kingston (56), Johnny Knoxville (48), John Barrowman (52), Jon Hamm (48), Olivia Wilde (35), Sharon Stone (61), Chuck Norris (79), and Robert Llewellyn (63).

No points this week, even though the evil flying  monkeys were very busy! Big thanks to Nickie for finding a couple of this weeks stories, saving me time and effort is what makes me very happy 🙂 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• King Kong Bundy, 61, American professional wrestler (WCCW, WWF) and actor (Married…with Children).  
• Keith Flint, 49, English singer (The Prodigy), suicide.  
• Luke Perry, 52, American actor (Beverly Hills, 90210, Riverdale, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), complications from a stroke.  
• Magenta Devine, 61, British television presenter (Rough Guide, Network 7).  
• Jed Allan, 84, American actor (Days of Our Lives, Santa Barbara, Lassie).  

And back in February…  

• Jan-Michael Vincent, 73, American actor (Airwolf, The Mechanic, Big Wednesday), cardiac arrest.

 In Other News

Britain’s popular former world heavyweight champion Frank Bruno is recovering after being hospitalised with pneumonia. The much-loved 57-year-old was left ‘in agony’ over the weekend and took himself to hospital on the back of two meet-and-greets with fans in Bristol and Guiseley. He was seen by doctors in the early hours of Monday morning and should soon be released from hospital with heavy medication. Bruno will then take a few days to rest and recuperate. ‘Frank has contracted pneumonia,’ his agent Dave Davies confirmed on Monday. Davies continued: ‘He did two gigs over the weekend – he was in a bit of pain on Saturday but didn’t want to let the people down in Bristol, then (Sunday) morning he had an afternoon job in Guiseley and he was in agony then. ‘But ever the professional, he wanted to do the job, so went and did the job and went straight to hospital.’ Bruno has been out of the ring since defeat by Mike Tyson in 1996. Alongside his public speaking appearances, the 57-year-old is a regular at British fight nights.   

Whoopi Goldberg has revealed she came close to dying due to pneumonia, in a new video message about her health. The actor and TV host shared the update on Friday in order to explain why she has been absent from the ABC talk show The View for a month. “I am here, I am up and moving around, not as fast as I’d like to be, but I am OK. I’m not dead,” Goldberg said. She explained that she contracted pneumonia in both lungs then was “septic”, meaning “there was fluids, there was all kinds of stuff going on”. Sepsis and septic shock can surface as complications from any infection, including pneumonia, which is an infection affecting one or both lungs. “Yes, I came very, very close to leaving the Earth,” Goldberg added. “Good news, I didn’t. Thank you for all of your good wishes, all of the wonderful things that people have been saying.” She quipped: “Even people who are not huge fans of mine have actually said nice things about me. We all know that’s going to change when I get back, but for right now, it’s brilliant!”    

Apparently poetry fans are beginning to take things rather seriously. Scottish actor Tam Dean Burn is recovering at home after being stabbed in a street attack. Dead Pool Towers understands the 60-year-old had finished speaking at an event at the Scottish Poetry Library in Edinburgh when he was assaulted outside the venue. The actor, whose credits include Outlander and Fortitude, was initially treated in hospital but later released. Police said a man had been arrested in connection with the incident. The 42-year-old was arrested outside the city’s Crichton Close at about 16:00 on Saturday, a police spokesman said. The incident happened after a tribute event to the Scottish poet Tom Leonard, who died last year. About 60 people – including Mr Burn, Liz Lochhead, Joy Hendry, Kevin Williamson and George Gunn – attended the event, which began at 13:30. Mr Burn was reportedly attacked outside the venue shortly after the event concluded at 15:30.

And finally, a billionaire diamond trader has died after ‘suffering a heart attack’ during a penis enlargement operation in Paris. Ehud Arye Laniado, 65, was at an unidentified private clinic on the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in the French capital on Saturday when complications during surgery proved fatal. The experienced diamond expert’s heart attack happened when a substance was injected into his penis, Belgian media reported. Mr Laniado’s company Omega Diamonds, which is based in the Belgian city of Antwerp, confirmed his passing. A statement from the firm said: ‘Farewell to a visionary businessman. It is with great sadness that we confirm that our founder Ehud Arye Laniado has passed away.’ A friend of Mr Laniado’s, who wished to remain anonymous, said he was ‘always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him’. Mr Laniado reportedly owned the most expensive penthouse in Monaco worth more than £30million, as well as a house in the plush LA suburb of Bel Air, where he was said to have loved to drink bottles of Chateau Margaux with models and celebrities. In all likelihood, he could only pleasure these models when he pulled out his American Express. 

On This Day

• 1629 – Charles I of England dissolves Parliament, beginning the eleven-year period known as the Personal Rule; which is what we need right now.
• 1876 – The first successful test of a telephone is made by Alexander Graham Bell.
• 1977 – Astronomers discover the rings of Uranus. Tee hee…

Deaths

• 1913 – Harriet Tubman, American nurse and activist (b. 1820) 
• 1942 – Wilbur Scoville, American pharmacist and chemist (b. 1865)
• 1988 – Andy Gibb, Manx-Australian singer-songwriter and actor (b. 1958)
• 1998 – Lloyd Bridges, American actor and director (b. 1913)
• 2005 – Dave Allen, Irish-English comedian, actor, and screenwriter (b. 1936)
• 2016 – Keith Emerson, English keyboard player and songwriter (b. 1944)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Juliette Binoche (55), Freddie Prinze Jr. (43), Micky Dolenz (74), Cynthia Rothrock (62), Rachel Weisz (49), Bryan Cranston (63), Rob Reiner (72), Shaquille O’Neal (47), Tom Arnold (60), Alan Davies (53), Fred Williamson (81),  Jolene Blalock (44), Eva Mendes (45), Matt Lucas (45), Dean Stockwell (83), Paul Blackthorne (50), Penn Jillette (64), Patsy Kensit (51), Dominique Pinon (64), Jessica Biel (37), Julie Bowen (49), Miranda Richardson (61), Charlie Brooker (48), and Brian Cox (51).

If you got this far, fair play to you! I thought I’d share this little tweet from James Blunt which I blatantly stole off Jemm’s Fb.