Welcome all, surprisingly no points to award this week, even with the demise of the Grandfather of Rock’n’Roll and a man who was mauled by a tiger. Is it worth sending out the flying monkeys? 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Dave Greenfield, 71, English keyboardist (The Stranglers), COVID-19.  
• Brian Howe, 66, English rock singer (Bad Company), heart attack.  
• Florian Schneider, 73, German electronic musician (Kraftwerk), cancer.  
• Ty, 47, British rapper, complications of COVID-19.  
• Millie Small, 72, Jamaican singer (“My Boy Lollipop“), stroke.   
• Eelke Bakker, 109, Dutch centenarian, oldest man in Benelux.  
• Roy Horn, 75, German-American magician (Siegfried & Roy), complications from COVID-19.  
• Little Richard, 87, American Hall of Fame rock and roll singer (“Tutti Frutti“, “Long Tall Sally“, “Lucille“), pianist and songwriter, bone cancer.

In Other News

Brian May has been hospitalised after “ripping his Gluteus Maximus to shreds” in a mystery gardening accident, he has revealed. The Queen guitarist shared to Instagram an image of himself wearing a face mask, before clarifying to fans that he hadn’t experienced anything coronavirus-related. “The Virus didn’t get me yet – thank God,” the 72-year-old wrote in his caption. “I managed to rip my Gluteus Maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. He continued: “Turns out I did a thorough job – this is a couple of days ago – and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless.” May did not specify what had occurred in his garden that had led to his injuries. May said that he was sent home after being looked at by doctors, and that he was asked to “go dark for a while” and “get some complete rest”. He added that he didn’t need sympathy, but rather some “healing silence for a while”. May, who is also an astrophysicist, said in April that he believed coronavirus was caused by too many people eating meat. “I think it’s time to re-examine our world in a way that doesn’t abuse other species,” he said.   

Radio 1Xtra DJ Yasmin Evans was hospitalised following her brutal involvement on Channel 4 reality show Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins. The 29-year-old watched her toenails turn black and her feet bleed after she caught trench foot following her involvement on the show. Yasmin – who was booted from the armed forces themed reality show on Monday night – was physically ravaged by the intense trials she was put though, and her feet were infected after enduring tasks that left her drenched in rain and water. After filming the show in the Scottish wilds, Yasmin was rushed to hospital and says she couldn’t walk for days as her feet swelled up and were left seeping. She explained how she began to feel unwell while taking part in a task on the show – and gave a graphic description of the effect on her body. She said: “I looked down at my feet and I just thought, ‘This is not OK’. My toenails were almost hanging off.” “I really suffered from having two major infections in my feet,” she said – revealing she was diagnosed with trench foot, an infection that was prevalent among soldiers in World War I after they were left standing around in waterlogged trenches. She explained: “Your socks are constantly wet. It’s a World War injury. The boots are really hard. Basically my toenail was black and one of them was split in the middle and was constantly bleeding.” She also said she would do the show again – but: “I would rip off my toenails before I went in there. They’re going to fall out anyway.” What a trooper!  

A woman was killed by an alligator as she attempted to touch the animal after spotting it in a nearby pond, authorities have said. Cynthia Covert, 58, was at her friend’s home on Kiawah Island, South Carolina, painting her nails. According to the police report, the friend said Ms Covert was “very talkative and strange”. “She was very relaxed and excited that her boyfriend was coming from Tennessee to visit,” the friend said. Ms Covert had one glass of wine during the interaction but the friend did not know if she was on other substances. After doing the woman’s nails, Ms Covert reportedly spotted the alligator in the pond and was “fascinated” by the animal. Ms Covert walked over to the pond and started taking pictures of the animal, at which point the friend warned about how she saw a deer getting attacked by the alligator at that same location. “I don’t look like a deer.” Ms Covert responded before she reportedly reached out to touch the animal. It then attacked and grabbed the woman’s leg, pulling her into the water. “I guess I won’t do this again,” Ms Covert was heard saying after the alligator grabbed her, according to the police report. The friend’s husband and a nearby neighbour ran out and attempted to pull Ms Covert back to shore by tossing her a rope. But then the alligator rolled over onto Ms Covert and she disappeared into the water. Deputies and firefighters arrived on the scene and searched for Ms Covert for 10 to 15 minutes before her body resurfaced. But the alligator was still holding onto the woman’s leg. A deputy shot at the animal with a 9 mm handgun so it would release the woman’s leg. The alligator was shot several times before it died. Ms Covert’s leg was severely damaged after her body was brought to shore, but it was determined by the Charleston County Coroner’s office she died by drowning. She is the third person to die in the state from an alligator encounter, according to the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources.    

The Newly Infected

• Piers Morgan said he would not host Good Morning Britain on Monday 4th May because he was presenting mild symptoms of coronavirus. Turns out he tested negative, no surprise for such a cry baby. 

On This Day

• 1849 – Astor Place Riot: A riot breaks out at the Astor Opera House in Manhattan, New York City over a dispute between actors Edwin Forrest and William Charles Macready, killing at least 22 and injuring over 120. 
• 1908 – Mother’s Day is observed for the first time in the United States, in Grafton, West Virginia. Billions of flowering plants have died for the cause.  
• 1941 – World War II: Rudolf Hess parachutes into Scotland to try to negotiate a peace deal between the United Kingdom and Nazi Germany.  
• 1960 – The nuclear submarine USS Triton completes Operation Sandblast, the first underwater circumnavigation of the earth.  
• 1962 – Marvel Comics publishes the first issue of The Incredible Hulk.  
• 1967 – The Northrop M2-F2 crashes on landing, becoming the inspiration for the novel Cyborg and TV series The Six Million Dollar Man.  
• 1975 – Sony introduces the Betamax videocassette recorder in Japan.

Deaths

• 1863 – Stonewall Jackson, American general (b. 1824) 
• 1977 – Joan Crawford, American actress (year of birth disputed)  
• 1994 – John Wayne Gacy, American serial killer (b. 1942)  
• 2010 – Frank Frazetta, American illustrator and painter (b. 1928)

Last Meals

Liberace was an American pianist, singer and actor. ultimately becoming better known for his lavish lifestyle and extravagant wardrobe than for his not-inconsiderable prowess on the keyboard. At the height of his fame, from the 1950s to the 1970s, Liberace was the highest-paid entertainer in the world, however in 1987 Liberace — whose real name was Władziu Valentino Liberace — passed away at the age of 67. 

A devout Roman Catholic to the end, he had a priest administer the last rites to him the day before his death. His death was initially attributed variously to anaemia (due to a diet of watermelon), emphysema, and heart disease, the last of which was attested to by Liberace’s personal physician, Dr. Ronald Daniels. However, the Riverside County coroner – against the advice of Dr. Daniels – performed an autopsy and later stated that “a deliberate attempt” had been made to hide the actual cause of Liberace’s death by his doctors, his manager, and Liberace’s entire immediate family. The post mortem discovered that Liberace had emphysema and coronary artery disease from years of chain smoking, but the real cause was pneumonia due to complications from AIDS. Liberace was secretly diagnosed HIV positive in August 1985 by his private physician in Las Vegas, 18 months before his death. 

Gladys Luckie was arguably one of the people who knew him best, working for the entertainer for 40 years in a loosely defined role Liberace jokingly described as “a second mother.” Following Liberace’s death, Luckie told the Las Vegas Sun about Liberace’s final days, recalling that few weeks before his death that she thought his condition was improving “because he was eating so well.”

On his final day, Luckie served him a porridge-like breakfast cereal that was a Liberace favourite. “That last day I made him Cream of Wheat. He gave me a smile and a wink,” she told the newspaper. “And that was the last thing. He died.” According to Luckie, Liberace “always said I was the only one who made Cream of Wheat the way he liked it — with sugar and lots of butter.” 

Liberace was said to be worth over $110 million at the time of his death, and to have bequeathed $88 million to the Liberace Foundation. Only in 2015 did Liberace Foundation Chairman Jonathan Warren reveal in a lecture at the Mob Museum in Las Vegas that these figures were all part of the showmanship of Liberace, and that the real figures were closer to one tenth those amounts. Liberace’s body is entombed with those of his mother and brother, at Forest Lawn, Hollywood Hills Cemetery in Los Angeles.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Maureen Lipman (73), Marion Ramsey (72), Rosario Dawson (40), Glenda Jackson (83), Billy Joel (70), Alan Bennett (85), Matthew Kelly (69), Stephen Amell (38), David Attenborough (93), Enrique Iglesias (44), Alexander Ludwig (27), Richard O’Sullivan (75), Naomi Scott (26), Adrianne Palicki (36), George Clooney (58), Henry Cavill (37), Zach McGowan (40), John Rhys-Davies (76), Lance Henriksen (80), Richard E. Grant (63), Michael Palin (77), and Will Arnett (50).

Sadly we have points to hand out this week, with the death of the pioneering actress Jill Gascoine I can award Louise, Paul & Ashley 67 points each, and a special well done to Abi who had her listed as her Woman, so 167 points! Well done all. This has changed the leader board somewhat as we now have a new pooler in pole position.  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Michael Robinson, 61, English footballer (Brighton & Hove Albion, Liverpool, Republic of Ireland national team) and sports commentator, melanoma.  
• Jill Gascoine, 83, British actress (The Gentle Touch, C.A.T.S. Eyes, The Onedin Line).  
• Irrfan Khan, 53, Indian actor (Slumdog Millionaire, Life of Pi, The Lunchbox), colon infection.  
• Rishi Kapoor, 67, Indian actor (Bobby, Do Dooni Chaar, Kapoor & Sons), complications from bone marrow cancer.  
• Sam Lloyd, 56, American actor (Scrubs, Galaxy Quest) and musician (The Blanks), brain tumour.

In Other News

Sir Michael Palin was saved by an elderly neighbour after accidentally starting a fire in his home while recovering from surgery, he has claimed. The Monty Python star says he was relaxing after having open-heart surgery in September when he blew some kitchen roll into a naked flame while doing his breathing exercises. “I leapt up and grasped a hand towel, which briefly smothered the flames before itself catching alight,” Palin said. “In some alarm now, as flames licked up towards the ceiling, I dialled the emergency services – but the moment we connected, the smoke alarm went off and I couldn’t hear a word they were saying. Palin continued: “I just caught something about washing my hands which made me realise that, without my glasses on, I’d rung 111 instead of 999. But I washed my hands anyway, and by a fantastic stroke of luck, the loose tap that we never had fixed finally came apart, dousing the ceiling and partially extinguishing the fire.” His 86-year-old neighbour broke into his house via a window and saved him, he claims. Palin notes that the neighbour had also had heart surgery the week before, adding: ”Thank God he’d been told to take it easy, otherwise he’d have been out playing golf and my house would have been a write-off.” Palin underwent open-heart surgery to fix his mitral valve, a small flap that prevents blood from flowing in the wrong direction around the heart.  

Sopranos and Bad Boys actor Joe Pantoliano is recovering from “a severe head injury” after being hit by a car. The actor, who also played Cypher in 1999 film The Matrix , was taking a walk with his family in Connecticut when a Porsche ran into him after avoiding a collision with another car. Pantoliano’s wife Nancy said that he was “sent flying a couple feet backwards”. He was rushed to hospital, but is now recovering from the head injury and “some chest trauma” at home. His family shared a photo of the actor and his head injury on Instagram, writing: “Joey is home recovering. He has a severe head injury and some chest trauma. He is going to be dark for a couple days while recovering. “Thank you for all the well wishes and positive vibes. Keep them coming! We’ll reading them to him to help him get better!” 

James Corden has reached out to fans to reveal that he has undergone minor surgery and won’t be able to film his show whilst he recovers. Taking to Twitter, the ‘star’ told his nearly 11 million deluded followers: “Hey all. I had to have minor surgery on my eye yesterday. I am doing well and recovering, but won’t be able to film new episodes for a few nights.” He added: “Thank you to everyone who has been watching the Late Late Shows from my garage. I’ll be back soon. Stay safe and well everybody. X.” Last month, the annoying cunt was close to tears as he admitted that the global pandemic had left him feeling “anxious and sad” and he wasn’t finding it easy to adjust. Speaking from his garage, where he has been filming his show, the 41-year-old told viewers: “I’ve found it tougher than I ever thought I would. I’ve found myself having these incredible spikes of anxiety and sadness when I’ve allowed myself to think about my family back home in England, or my friends or the people I love.” He then added that he’s realised it’s “OK” to feel such emotions. “It’s all right to feel a bit sad,” he said. “It’s OK to feel anxious, and the best thing we can all do is try and breathe through that and try and put our minds in a positive place.” Toughen up Tinkerbell, this rollercoaster has only just begun! 

The Newly Infected

• Andy Murray: has revealed that he believes he contracted coronavirus before the UK went into lockdown. 
• Madonna: revealed that she has tested positive for coronavirus antibodies. 
• Mikhail Mishustin: The Russian Prime Minister said that he has been tested positive, becoming the highest-ranking Russian official known to have gotten infected. 
• J.K. Rowling: The Harry Potter author revealed on Twitter that she had symptoms of the coronavirus but never got tested.

On This Day

• 1978 – The first unsolicited bulk commercial email (which would later become known as “spam”) is sent by a Digital Equipment Corporation marketing representative to every ARPANET address on the west coast of the United States. 
• 2000 – The sport of geocaching begins, with the first cache placed and the coordinates from a GPS posted on Usenet. 
• 2007 – The 3-year-old British girl Madeleine McCann disappears in Praia da Luz, Portugal, starting “the most heavily reported missing-person case in modern history”. Kate and Gerry McCann were never arrested. 

Deaths

• 1972 – Bruce Cabot, American actor (b. 1904) 
• 2003 – Suzy Parker, American model and actress (b. 1932)
• 2011 – Jackie Cooper, American actor, director, producer and executive (b. 1922)  

Last Meals

John Candy was a Canadian actor and comedian is known mainly for his work in Hollywood films. Candy rose to fame through his appearances in such comedy films as Stripes, Splash, Cool Runnings, Summer Rental, Home Alone, The Great Outdoors, Spaceballs, and Uncle Buck, as well as more dramatic roles in Only the Lonely and JFK. One of his most renowned onscreen performances was as Del Griffith, the talkative shower-curtain ring salesman in the John Hughes comedy Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

On March 3rd 1994, the comic actor was in Durango, Mexico, working on the movie “Wagons East.” His final movie, was his least enjoyable experience in film. Richard Lewis, who worked with him on the movie, said he was so much fun and so funny, but when he looked at him, he looked so tired. Although Candy complained about the 90-degree heat, he shot a series of exhausting action shots until 10 p.m. He then retired to his room and ordered Mexican spaghetti — pasta with a salsa-based sauce. 

He ate alone and told his bodyguard he planned to shower and go to sleep. The next morning around 8 a.m., Candy’s body was found in bed, clad in a long red-and-black nightshirt. The body remained in bed until 4 p.m., until four strong men could be found to carry the overweight actor to an ambulance. There was no sign of drugs, alcohol or foul play, and a doctor declared the cause of death a heart attack. The exact cause is uncertain, as no autopsy was performed however he was a heavy smoker, obese and had history of cocaine use. Wagons East was completed using a stunt double and special effects and released five months after Candy’s death. He was 43 years old.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Christina Hendricks (44), Rob Brydon (54), Sandi Toksvig (61), Dwayne Johnson (47), Ellie Kemper (39), Matt Berry (45), David Suchet (73), David Beckham (44), Lily Allen (34), Jamie Dornan (37), Julie Benz (47), Joanna Lumley (73), Una Stubbs (82), Sam Heughan (39), Kirsten Dunst (37), Gal Gadot (34), Burt Young (79), Daniel Day-Lewis (62), Michelle Pfeiffer (61), Uma Thurman (49), Kate Mulgrew (64), Jerry Seinfeld (65), Willie Nelson (86), Anita Dobson (70), Jessica Alba (39), Ann-Margret (79), Penélope Cruz (46), Jay Leno (70), and Sheena Easton (61).

Yay, a viable cure to the virus has been found, just inject 300mm of Domestos up your arse for a cough free poo! Extra points if you leave said white poos in the park for kids to play with, like we all used to back in the 80’s. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Tom Lester, 81, American actor (Green Acres, Benji, Gordy), complications from Parkinson’s disease.  
• Sir Peter Jonas, 73, British arts administrator and opera director.  
• Shirley Knight, 83, American actress (The Dark at the Top of the Stairs, Sweet Bird of Youth, As Good as It Gets).  
• Lynn Faulds Wood, 72, Scottish television presenter (Watchdog) and journalist, stroke.

In Other News

The South Korean government says it is investigating reports that North Korea’s Kim Jong-un is in a “fragile” condition after undergoing an unspecified surgical operation. Officials from the South Korean intelligence services said they were looking into a CNN report that said the North’s leader was “in grave danger”, citing unnamed US intelligence sources. An earlier report by Seoul-based news outlet Daily NK said Mr Kim was staying at a countryside villa outside Pyongyang while he recovered from heart surgery, and that his condition was improving. The South’s Unification Ministry, which handles affairs relating to North Korea, said it could not confirm either report but was investigating the matter. But a government source told the Yonhap news agency that South Korea was yet to see any “unusual signs” coming from the North regarding Mr Kim’s health condition. Speculation about the state of Mr Kim’s health has grown since he was conspicuously absent from events on 15 April commemorating the birth of his grandfather Kim Il-sung, the founder of the nation. The date is a national holiday and one of the most important in the North Korean calendar. Dozens of top officials attended a flamboyant military parade at the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, Kim Il-sung’s mausoleum, but Mr Kim was nowhere to be seen. His absence from the 15 April events led to speculation at the time that he might be attempting to distance his own rule from the legacy of his grandfather – or perhaps that he had been struck down with coronavirus. North Korea has officially declared zero Covid-19 cases, a claim met with scepticism by experts. It is not the first time Mr Kim’s health has been a matter of speculation. In 2014, he disappeared from the public eye for more than a month – and then was pictured using a cane on his return. South Korea’s spy agency said he had undergone an operation to remove a cyst from his foot.      

Tom Hanks has detailed what it was like being in hospital with coronavirus. The actor and his wife Rita Wilson tested positive for Covid-19 in March. They were in Australia at the time, where Hanks was filming Baz Luhrmann’s biopic on Elvis Presley. Speaking on The National Defense Radio Show, Hanks said he had “bad body aches and was very fatigued”, and he was exhausted after just a 12 minutes of exercise; dunno about you, but I’d be exhausted  under normal conditions… “I was wiped” he said. “Whoever it was, a doctor or nurse, would come into our air pressurised isolation rooms. She said, ‘How are you feeling?’ and I said, ‘I just had the weirdest thing. I just tried to do basic stretches and exercises on the floor and I couldn’t even get halfway through.’ “And she looked at me through her glasses like she was talking to the dumbest human being. And she said, ‘You have COVID-19.’” Discussing the differences between his and Wilson’s symptoms, Hanks added: “Rita went through a tougher time than I did. She had a much higher fever. She had lost her sense of taste and sense of smell. She got absolutely no joy from food for a better part of three weeks.” He said at one point, Wilson “was so nauseous, she had to crawl on the floor from the bed to the facilities”. The couple have recovered and returned back home to Los Angeles. Having been told they are now immune from the virus, Hanks and Wilson have donated their blood as part of a study to see whether their antibodies can help develop a vaccine.  

Peter Kay fans have expressed their concerns for the comedian after his first TV appearance in two years. The beloved  standup was introducing a new version of his charity single “Amarillo” as part of the BBC’s Big Night In on Thursday evening. Kay, who has stayed out of the public eye since the final episode of his sitcom Car Share in 2018, was shown sat in the sunshine wearing glasses and a hat and eating an ice lolly. However, while many heralded the comic’s return to TV screens, they also expressed their concern for his health. “GREAT to see Peter Kay make an appearance on our screens tonight” said one user. “Poor bloke didn’t look or sound well, but still able to maintain his comedic heart licking on a solero! Hope whatever he’s going through he comes through the other end. Truly one of a kind.” “Great to see Peter Kay, although the legend is obviously far from 100 per cent. Whatever he’s battling, I and I’m sure the rest of the country wish him to get well very soon!” added another fan. “Hope Peter Kay gets through whatever he’s going through. The world’s a better place with him in it” said someone else. The 46-year-old cancelled his long-awaited UK and Ireland last year citing “unforeseen circumstances”. Other’s watching Big Night In praised how Kay had not lost touch with normal people, emphasising that some people cannot afford a charity donation. “Peter Kay ‘if you can give something, good, if you can’t then don’t worry, you’ve enough on your minds’” said one fan quoting the standup. “It is very nice to see a celeb who hasn’t lost touch with the ordinary people”.  

The odds of being struck and killed by a meteorite are said to be as low as one in 250,000. There has been no credible and well-documented evidence of any human being befalling this unfortunate fate. But researchers now say they have found three separate official papers describing a fatal encounter with an extra-terrestrial object more than 130 years ago. At around 8.30pm on 22 August, 1888, a fireball was seen in the sky shortly before a shower of meteorite pieces fell “like rain” on a village in Sulaymaniyah, Iraq, then part of the Ottoman Empire. One man died after being struck, while a second was left paralysed, according to the manuscripts stored in Turkish government archives. The event appears to have been confirmed by a report to the sultan, Abdul Hamid II. “Due to the fact that these documents are from official government sources and written by the local authorities… we do not have any suspicion on their reality,” the researchers say in an academic paper describing their findings. They say it is the “first proof of an event ever of an event that a meteorite hit and killed a man”. If accepted as sufficiently verified, it would also become the earliest documented incident of a meteor hitting a person. Previously that notoriety was held by the Sylacauga meteorite, which struck Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges as she slept on a sofa in a farmhouse in Alabama, USA, in November 1954. Hodges was bruised by the fragment, which appears to have bounced off a radio set before hitting her leg, but survived. Other less well-documented contenders include a report said to date back to 1677, when a friar was supposedly hit and killed by a sulphurous “stone from the clouds” which lodged in his thigh.

The Newly Infected

Well, who’d have thought it. Barely three weeks into this new section and no new celebrities have admitted to having caught the virus. Does this mean we have reached peak infection around the world? I doubt it…. 

On This Day

• 1865 – Union cavalry troopers corner and shoot dead John Wilkes Booth, assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, in Virginia.  
• 1933 – The Gestapo, the official secret police force of Nazi Germany, is established.  
• 1986 – A nuclear reactor accident occurs at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in the Soviet Union, creating the world’s worst nuclear disaster.  
• 1989 – The deadliest known tornado strikes Central Bangladesh, killing upwards of 1,300, injuring 12,000, and leaving as many as 80,000 homeless.

Deaths

• 1865 – John Wilkes Booth, American actor, assassin of Abraham Lincoln (b. 1838) 
• 1970 – Gypsy Rose Lee, American actress, striptease dancer, and writer (b. 1911)  
• 1976 – Sid James, South African-English actor (b. 1913)  
• 1989 – Lucille Ball, American model, actress, comedian, and producer (b. 1911)  
• 1999 – Jill Dando, English journalist and television personality (b. 1961)  
• 2017 – Jonathan Demme, American filmmaker, producer and screenwriter (b. 1944)

Last Meals

Adolf Hitler was a German politician and leader of the Nazi Party. He rose to power as the chancellor of Germany in 1933 and then as Führer in 1934. During his dictatorship from 1933 to 1945, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1st September 1939. He was closely involved in military operations throughout the war and was central to the perpetration of the Holocaust. 

Since we all know the mans history we’ll only cover his last moments. With The War coming to an end with the Allies capturing Berlin, Hitler was holed up in his Führerbunker, still giving out orders to his armies and arrest warrants for the colleagues who had deserted him. After midnight on the night of 28-29th April, Hitler married Eva Braun in a small civil ceremony in the bunker. Later that afternoon, Hitler was informed that Mussolini had been executed.  By April 30th, 1945, he finally realised he had lost the war.  

The German dictator’s last meal was eaten holed up in his bunker, he ate spaghetti with “light sauce” (although some biographers say he had lasagna). Hitler wanted a simple meal without any mention of the fall of Berlin, so the conversation consisted of dog breeding methods and “how lipstick was made from sewer grease.” Shortly after the meal, Hitler and Eva Braun, whom he had married less than 40 hours earlier, went into a private room and took their own lives. Hitler shot himself in the head and Braun bit into a cyanide capsule. Their bodies were carried outside to the garden behind the Reich Chancellery, where they were placed in a bomb crater, doused with petrol, and set on fire as the Red Army shelling continued. 

Records in the Soviet archives obtained after the fall of the Soviet Union state that the remains of Hitler, Braun, Joseph and Magda Goebbels, the six Goebbels children, General Hans Krebs, and Hitler’s dogs were repeatedly buried and exhumed. On 4th April 1970, a Soviet KGB team used detailed burial charts to exhume five wooden boxes at the SMERSH facility in Magdeburg. The remains from the boxes were burned, crushed, and scattered into the Biederitz river, a tributary of the Elbe. The corpses of Braun and Hitler were fully burned when the Red Army found them, and only a lower jaw with dental work could be identified as Hitler’s remains.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Channing Tatum (39), Giancarlo Esposito (61), Pablo Schreiber (41), Jet Li (56), Joan Chen (58), Kevin James (54), Melania Trump (49), Al Pacino (79), Renée Zellweger (50), Hank Azaria (55), Gina Torres (50), Talia Shire (73), William Roache (87), Rory McCann (50), Aidan Gillen (51), Kelly Clarkson (37), Barbra Streisand (77), Djimon Hounsou (55), Shirley MacLaine (85), Dev Patel (29), John Cena (42), John Oliver (42), Gemma Whelan (38), John Hannah (57), Lee Majors (80), Michael Moore (65), Blair Brown (73), Amber Heard (33), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (53), Jack Nicholson (82), Michelle Ryan (35), Sheryl Lee (52), John Waters (73), James McAvoy (41), Toby Stephens (51), Andie MacDowell (62), Tony Danza (69), Iggy Pop (73), Queen Elizabeth II (94), Andy Serkis (56), Jessica Lange (71), Ryan O’Neal (79), Clint Howard (61), Veronica Cartwright (71), Carmen Electra (48), Ruth Connell (41), George Takei (83), Leslie Phillips (96), Nicholas Lyndhurst (59), and Michael Brandon (75).

Last week we saw three Doctors of the Who variety have their birthdays and a few well loved celebrities meeting their makers. I was due to work with Tim Brooke-Taylor next month, but along with all kinds of events it was cancelled due to the virus, sadly now that particular event will never be rescheduled. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Peter Bonetti, 78, English footballer (Chelsea, Dundee United, national team), world champion (1966). 
• Tim Brooke-Taylor, 79, English comedian (The Goodies) and panellist (I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue), COVID-19.  
• Brian Dennehy, 81, American actor (First Blood, Tommy Boy, Cocoon), cardiac arrest due to sepsis.  
• Eddie Cooley, 87, American songwriter (“Fever“) and singer (“Priscilla“).  
• Howard Finkel, 69, American Hall of Fame professional wrestling ring announcer (WWE). 
• Norman Hunter, 76, English football player (Leeds United, Bristol City, national team) and manager, world champion (1966), COVID-19.

In Other News

Chadwick Bosemen’s appearance in a recent Instagram video has left fans concerned about the Avengers star. The actor, who plays the Black Panther, showcased a much slimmer physique as he shared a charity message about a new initiative to help battle the current coronavirus pandemic. Fans immediately flocked to the comments to note the change in how Chadwick, 42, appeared on screen as he rocked a purple cap and displayed a slightly scruffy beard. One fan asked, ‘Did you loose weight for a movie role ?????’ before another wrote: ‘Anyone in shock by how he look?’ While another concerned fan added: ‘I hope your okay, your appearance has changed.’ Chadwick’s weight loss may be down to his latest role in the TV series The Black Child, based on the book of the same name in which he plays a slave.   

Gogglebox star Jonathan Tapper was left “fighting for his life” as he battled coronavirus, his wife has revealed. The patriarch of the Tapper family, who appeared on the series for five years, struggled to breathe and was unable to move after being struck by the illness. Jonathan’s wife Nikki said: “One night Jonathan came home from work and was unable to move. He had a cough and high temperature. He laid down on the sofa and – with no exaggeration – he stayed there for two weeks in our lounge room.” She continued: “We tended to him as best we could, but at times he seemed unable to breathe. Having spoken to the doctors, they urged us to stay home, but they said to quickly get an oxygen monitor, which fixed to his finger.” 52-year-old Jonathan was particularly at risk for coronavirus due to his age, as well as underlying health conditions. In 2019, he lost three stone in 12 weeks to combat a diagnosis of diabetes. Two weeks after first coming down with the illness, Jonathan is said to still be resting, and his health is improving.  

Broadway star Nick Cordero is to have his leg amputated after suffering complications from coronavirus, his wife has confirmed. Yesterday, Cordero’s wife Amanda Kloots explained on her Instagram Story that she and her husband had received “difficult news”. She said that blood thinners doctors were using to help clotting in Cordero’s leg had sparked internal bleeding in his intestines. “We took him off blood thinners but that again was going to cause some clotting in the right leg, so the right leg will be amputated today,” Kloots said. The actor, who is best known for his work in Broadway productions of Waitress and Bullets Over Broadway, was initially diagnosed with pneumonia, before testing positive for coronavirus. While being treated in intensive care for a lung infection and fever, which caused a dangerous drop in blood pressure, he was placed on life support. He has remained unconscious in recovery since. 

A pensioner who was given a surprise flight in a £70million fighter jet as a retirement present was flung out at 2500ft after grabbing the ejector seat handle to  ‘steady himself’. The astonishing drama is outlined in a newly released report by French aviation investigators who have stern words for their country’s Airforce and government throughout. At times, it reads like a dark comedy film script, as it describes how the unidentified 64-year-old panicked and screamed with fear during his first flight in the Rafale-B which took off from Saint-Dizier airforce base, in north-west France last March. Then he shot out at high speed, losing his helmet that had not been fastened round his chin properly, before landing in a field close to the German border. His anti-g force suit, worn by aviators who are subject to high acceleration forces and designed to prevent a blackout, had also become loose around the trousers. It was only through good fortune that the pilot was not ejected by his passenger’s actions too – which could have led to a very serious crash. The pensioner had ‘never expressed a desire to take part in a flight like this, and especially not in a Rafale,’ reads the report by the Paris-based BEA (Bureau of Enquiry and Analysis). Despite this, his colleagues at the defence contractor where he had worked for most of his career set up the flight. ‘The need to keep the surprise until the moment of the flight,’ had hugely risky consequences, especially as regards ‘preparation for the flight,’ reads the report. It continues: ‘This situation generated a feeling of stress for the passenger, and this was particularly felt during the ejection seat briefing where he had to assimilate a large amount of information in a very short time. ‘The passenger said he had a complete lack of knowledge of the aeronautical environment and its constraints, having never flown  on a military aircraft.’ Four of the pensioner’s colleagues had turned up with a professional photographer, and they placed a Go-Pro camera on their friend’s helmet to film the afternoon flight. ‘Faced with a fait accompli on the day of the flight, it was very difficult for him to refuse to participate in the flight,’ says the report. The flight had also been authorised by the French Air Force staff at the request of the Defence Ministry, which also piled pressure on the pensioner. The pensioner, had expected a gentle ascent, but the plane ‘climbed at 47 degrees’, compared to around 10 to 15 degrees for a standard passenger plane. This was when the Frenchman reached out to hang on to anything he could, and pulled the ejector handle. There was then a loud bang, with the force of the ejection tearing his unsecured mask and oxygen mask from his face. The Rafele-B’s command ejection system is meant to fire both seats at once – meaning the pilot feared his seat would fly out at any moment. Analysis of radio recordings show that the pilot was in control of the situation. Once informed that his passenger had ejected, the pilot realises that he should have been ejected too. ‘He then demonstrated a certain calm following the loss of the rear seat and the canopy.’ The pensioner managed to land with the use of his parachute and ended up in a field, shocked and with minor injuries. 

The Newly Infected

• DJ Jazzy Jeff: says coronavirus-like symptoms caused him to forget 10 days of his life.  
• John Taylor: Duran Duran’s bassist, tested positive for COVID-19 three weeks ago. 
• Danny Burstein: The Moulin Rouge! star admitted to “coughing up blood for two to three days,” before being going to hospital.
• Sam Smith: Despite never getting tested, the Grammy-winner is convinced that it had coronavirus.
• Kalie Shorr: The country music singer has been diagnosed with coronavirus, despite being in quarantine for three weeks. 
• Sinitta: The singer said she felt like she’d ‘swallowed a packet of razor blades’ after contracting the virus.

On This Day

• 1770 – Captain James Cook, still holding the rank of lieutenant, sights the eastern coast of what is now Australia. 
• 1927 – Mae West is sentenced to ten days in jail for obscenity for her play Sex.  
• 1943 – Albert Hofmann deliberately doses himself with LSD for the first time, three days after having discovered its effects.  
• 1971 – Charles Manson is sentenced to death (later commuted to life imprisonment) for conspiracy in the Tate–LaBianca murders.  
• 1987 – The Simpsons first appear as a series of shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show, first starting with Good Night.  
• 1993 – The 51-day FBI siege of the Branch Davidian building in Waco, Texas, USA, ends when a fire breaks out. 76 Davidian’s, including eighteen children under the age of ten, died in the fire.

Deaths

• 1824 – Lord Byron, English-Scottish poet and playwright (b. 1788)  
• 1881 – Benjamin Disraeli, English journalist and politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1804) 
• 1882 – Charles Darwin, English biologist and theorist (b. 1809)  
• 1906 – Pierre Curie, French physicist and academic, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1859)  
• 1989 – Daphne du Maurier, English novelist and playwright (b. 1907)  
• 1992 – Frankie Howerd, English actor and screenwriter (b. 1917)  
• 2004 – Norris McWhirter, English author and activist co-founded the Guinness World Records (b. 1925)

Last Meals

Peter Kürten was a German serial killer known as “The Vampire of Düsseldorf” and the “Düsseldorf Monster“. He committed a series of murders and sexual assaults between February and November 1929 in the city of Düsseldorf. In the years before these assaults and murders, Kürten had amassed a lengthy criminal record for offences including arson and attempted murder. He also confessed to the 1913 murders of a nine-year-old girl in Mülheim am Rhein and a 17-year-old girl in Düsseldorf. Described as “the king of the sexual perverts,” Kürten was found guilty of nine counts of murder and seven counts of attempted murder for which he was sentenced to death by beheading in April 1931. He was executed in July 1931 at age 48. Kürten became known as the “Vampire of Düsseldorf” because he occasionally made attempts to drink the blood from his victims’ wounds, and the “Düsseldorf Monster” both because the majority of his murders were committed in and around the city of Düsseldorf, and the savagery he inflicted upon his victims’ bodies.  

On the evening of 1st July 1931, Kürten received his last meal. He ordered Wiener Schnitzel, a bottle of white wine, and fried potatoes. Kürten devoured the entire meal before requesting a second helping. Prison staff decided to grant his request. At 6 o’clock on the morning of 2nd July, Peter Kürten was beheaded by guillotine in the grounds of Klingelputz Prison, Cologne. He walked unassisted to the guillotine, flanked by the prison psychiatrist and a priest. Shortly before his head was placed on the guillotine, Kürten turned to the psychiatrist and asked the question: “Tell me…  after my head is chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood  gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures.” When asked whether he had any last words to say, Kürten simply smiled and replied, “No.” 

Following Kürten’s 1931 execution, his head was bisected and mummified; the brain was removed and subjected to forensic analysis in an attempt to explain his personality and behaviour. The examinations of Kürten’s brain revealed no abnormalities. Shortly after World War II, Kürten’s head was transported to the United States. It is currently on display at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Hayden Christensen (38), James Franco (41), Tim Curry (73),  Kate Hudson (40), Maria Sharapova (32), David Tennant (48), Hayley Mills (73), Edgar Wright (45), Rick Moranis (66), Eli Roth (47), James Woods (72), Conan O’Brien (56), Rooney Mara (35), Sean Bean (61), Jennifer Garner (48), David Bradley (78), Victoria Beckham (46), Claire Foy (36), Martin Lawrence (55), Ellen Barkin (66), Emma Watson (30), Luke Evans (41), Seth Rogen (38), Emma Thompson (61), Maisie Williams (23), Samantha Fox (54), Sarah Michelle Gellar (43), Adrien Brody (47), Robert Carlyle (59), Julie Christie (80), Peter Capaldi (62), Ron Perlman (70), William Sadler (70), Erick Avari (68), Edward Fox (83), and Peter Davison (69).

We have a winner! With the sad passing of Sir Stirling Moss, Ashley has scored 60 points! Well done that man! I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the overriding news of the week is this rather nasty flu that’s going around! Apparently it’s killing off thousands of people a day, barely any celebrities though… Even Boris is getting better :/ 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Alexander Thynn, 7th Marquess of Bath, 87, English politician and artist, Lord Temporal (1992–1999), COVID-19.  
• Honor Blackman, 94, English actress (The Avengers, Goldfinger, Jason and the Argonauts).  
• Shirley Douglas, 86, Canadian actress (Wind at My Back, Lolita, Barney’s Great Adventure) and civil rights activist, complications from pneumonia.
• Black the Ripper, 32, British grime MC, rapper and cannabis activist. 
• Allen Garfield, 80, American actor (The Conversation, Nashville, Beverly Hills Cop II), COVID-19.  
• John Prine, 73, American singer-songwriter (“Sam Stone“, “Angel from Montgomery“), Grammy winner (1992, 2006), COVID-19.  
• Linda Tripp, 70, American civil servant and whistleblower (Clinton–Lewinsky scandal), pancreatic cancer.  
• Malcolm Dixon, 66, English actor (Time Bandits, Return of the Jedi, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory).  
• Hilary Dwyer, 74, British actress (Witchfinder General, Cry of the Banshee, Wuthering Heights), COVID-19. 
• Sir Stirling Moss, 90, British Hall of Fame Formula One driver.

In Other News 

Promoter Barry Hearn is recovering after suffering a minor heart attack, his son and fellow promoter Eddie Hearn has confirmed. Hearn is the chairman of Matchroom Sport, World Snooker and professional darts organisation PDC. His son, who leads Matchroom Boxing, confirmed the news with a tribute to the NHS and an update on his father’s health. He wrote: “As if we can’t thank the NHS enough, I want to particularly thank the staff at Broomfield and Basildon. “My dad Barry Hearn was taken to hospital on Sunday after a minor heart attack and was operated on yesterday. He is up and well and returns home today in good spirits! Thank you.” Hearn has been active on Twitter despite recovering in hospital, even reaching out to a fan to thank him for his fiancée’s work for the NHS.  

Jimmy Greaves spent a comfortable night in hospital on Tuesday and is awaiting the outcome of tests. Tottenham announced on Tuesday night that their record goalscorer, who turned 80 in February, was receiving treatment in hospital. Greaves suffered a severe stroke in May 2015, which left him wheelchair-bound. A statement on his Facebook page, run by his friend and agent Terry Baker, read: “I did promise a statement mid-morning today when I posted a statement last night. “All I can say is no news is good news at the moment. Jimmy has spoken to his wife Irene by phone. “During the course of the day he will be having tests and when we find out the results I will post them on here. So watch this space and have a good thought for Jimmy as you go about your current daily routine. “His problem isn’t coronavirus-related and doesn’t seem to be related to his previous illness. Hopefully he won’t be in hospital for too long. “Thanks for the 1000s of you showing concern. England’s greatest ever goalscorer is still with us and here’s hoping he’s home soon.” 

Former Liverpool defender John Arne Riise and his daughter  have been hospitalised in Norway after being involved in a car accident in Norway in the early hours of the morning.  The 39-year-old was understood to be driving his 19-year-old daughter Ariana home to Alesund from Tonsberg in the middle of the night when he was forced to swerve in an effort to avoid something in the road, causing the vehicle to slide off the side-verge and into a guard rail. Police found the car stranded at the side of the road in Erstad, around five miles from Alesund, and both occupants were taken to hospital, though this is reported to have been a precautionary measure. Riise’s agent, Erland Bakke, confirmed the accident involved the former footballer and his daughter, and said that both were conscious as they were taken to hospital for medical checks. Police have confirmed that there is no suspicion of criminal circumstances. 

The Newly Infected

• Karl von Habsburg, the Archduke of Austria: The 59-year-old has been diagnosed with COVID-19 and is now being quarantined. 
• George Alagiah: The BBC newsreader confirmed he had tested positive for the virus but said he thought he had had a “mild dose”.  
• Alister Jack: Scottish Secretary and member of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s cabinet has developed symptoms of COVID-19.   
• Chris Whitty: England’s Chief Medical Officer announced he was in self-isolation at home after experiencing coronavirus symptoms.  
• Sir Kenny Dalgish: The former Liverpool player and manager tested positive after being admitted to hospital.

On This Day

• 1606 – The Union Flag is adopted as the flag of English and Scottish ships.  
• 1934 – The strongest surface wind gust in the world at the time of 231 mph, is measured on the summit of Mount Washington, New Hampshire. It has since been surpassed.  
• 1945 – U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office; Vice President Harry S. Truman becomes President upon Roosevelt’s death.  
• 1961 – The Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space and perform the first manned orbital flight, Vostok 1.   
• 1981 – The first launch of a Space Shuttle (Columbia) takes place: The STS-1 mission.

Deaths

• 1817 – Charles Messier, French astronomer and academic (b. 1730)  
• 1945 – Franklin D. Roosevelt, American lawyer and politician, 32nd President of the United States (b. 1882)  
• 1981 – Joe Louis, American boxer and wrestler (b. 1914)  
• 1989 – Sugar Ray Robinson, American boxer (b. 1921)

Last Meals

Aileen Wuornos was an American serial killer and prostitute who murdered seven men in Florida in 1989 and 1990 by shooting them at point-blank range. Wuornos claimed that her victims had either raped or attempted to rape her while she was servicing them, and that all of the homicides were committed in self-defense. She was sentenced to death for six of the murders and was executed by lethal injection on October 9, 2002. The 2003 film Monster chronicles Wuornos’ story from childhood until her first murder conviction. It stars Charlize Theron as Wuornos, a performance that earned Theron an Academy Award for Best Actress. Wuornos was incarcerated at the Florida Department of Corrections Broward Correctional Institution death row for women, then transferred to the Florida State Prison for execution. Her appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court was denied in 1996. In a 2001 petition to the Florida Supreme Court, she stated her intention to dismiss her legal counsel and terminate all pending appeals. “I killed those men,” she wrote, “robbed them as cold as ice. And I’d do it again, too. There’s no chance in keeping me alive or anything, because I’d kill again. I have hate crawling through my system…I am so sick of hearing this ‘she’s crazy’ stuff. I’ve been evaluated so many times. I’m competent, sane, and I’m trying to tell the truth. I’m one who seriously hates human life and would kill again.” While her attorneys argued that she was not  mentally competent to make such a request, Wuornos insisted that she knew what she was doing, and a court-appointed panel of psychiatrists agreed. Wuornos’s execution took place on October 9, 2002. She died at 9:47 a.m. EDT. She declined her last meal which could have been anything under $20 and opted for a cup of coffee instead. Her last words were, “Yes, I would just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back, like Independence Day, with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I’ll be back, I’ll be back.” She was the tenth woman in the United States and the second in Florida to be executed since the 1976 United States Supreme Court decision restoring capital punishment. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Saoirse Ronan (25), Claire Danes (40), Jennifer Morrison (40), Andy Garcia (63), Ed O’Neill (73), Shannen Doherty (48), David Letterman (72), Tricia Helfer (45), Matt Ryan (38), Jeremy Clarkson (59), Joss Stone (32), Jill Gascoine (82), Charlie Hunnam (39), Daisy Ridley (27), Haley Joel Osment (31), David Harbour (44), Steven Seagal (67), Peter MacNicol (65), Kristen Stewart (30), Elle Fanning (22), Dennis Quaid (66), Robin Wright (54), Patricia Arquette (52), Dean Norris (57), Jackie Chan (66), Russell Crowe (56), Francis Ford Coppola (81), Paul Rudd (51), John Ratzenberger (73), Michael Rooker (65), Zach Braff (45), and Billy Dee Williams (83).