Yay, a viable cure to the virus has been found, just inject 300mm of Domestos up your arse for a cough free poo! Extra points if you leave said white poos in the park for kids to play with, like we all used to back in the 80’s. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Tom Lester, 81, American actor (Green Acres, Benji, Gordy), complications from Parkinson’s disease.  
• Sir Peter Jonas, 73, British arts administrator and opera director.  
• Shirley Knight, 83, American actress (The Dark at the Top of the Stairs, Sweet Bird of Youth, As Good as It Gets).  
• Lynn Faulds Wood, 72, Scottish television presenter (Watchdog) and journalist, stroke.

In Other News

The South Korean government says it is investigating reports that North Korea’s Kim Jong-un is in a “fragile” condition after undergoing an unspecified surgical operation. Officials from the South Korean intelligence services said they were looking into a CNN report that said the North’s leader was “in grave danger”, citing unnamed US intelligence sources. An earlier report by Seoul-based news outlet Daily NK said Mr Kim was staying at a countryside villa outside Pyongyang while he recovered from heart surgery, and that his condition was improving. The South’s Unification Ministry, which handles affairs relating to North Korea, said it could not confirm either report but was investigating the matter. But a government source told the Yonhap news agency that South Korea was yet to see any “unusual signs” coming from the North regarding Mr Kim’s health condition. Speculation about the state of Mr Kim’s health has grown since he was conspicuously absent from events on 15 April commemorating the birth of his grandfather Kim Il-sung, the founder of the nation. The date is a national holiday and one of the most important in the North Korean calendar. Dozens of top officials attended a flamboyant military parade at the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, Kim Il-sung’s mausoleum, but Mr Kim was nowhere to be seen. His absence from the 15 April events led to speculation at the time that he might be attempting to distance his own rule from the legacy of his grandfather – or perhaps that he had been struck down with coronavirus. North Korea has officially declared zero Covid-19 cases, a claim met with scepticism by experts. It is not the first time Mr Kim’s health has been a matter of speculation. In 2014, he disappeared from the public eye for more than a month – and then was pictured using a cane on his return. South Korea’s spy agency said he had undergone an operation to remove a cyst from his foot.      

Tom Hanks has detailed what it was like being in hospital with coronavirus. The actor and his wife Rita Wilson tested positive for Covid-19 in March. They were in Australia at the time, where Hanks was filming Baz Luhrmann’s biopic on Elvis Presley. Speaking on The National Defense Radio Show, Hanks said he had “bad body aches and was very fatigued”, and he was exhausted after just a 12 minutes of exercise; dunno about you, but I’d be exhausted  under normal conditions… “I was wiped” he said. “Whoever it was, a doctor or nurse, would come into our air pressurised isolation rooms. She said, ‘How are you feeling?’ and I said, ‘I just had the weirdest thing. I just tried to do basic stretches and exercises on the floor and I couldn’t even get halfway through.’ “And she looked at me through her glasses like she was talking to the dumbest human being. And she said, ‘You have COVID-19.’” Discussing the differences between his and Wilson’s symptoms, Hanks added: “Rita went through a tougher time than I did. She had a much higher fever. She had lost her sense of taste and sense of smell. She got absolutely no joy from food for a better part of three weeks.” He said at one point, Wilson “was so nauseous, she had to crawl on the floor from the bed to the facilities”. The couple have recovered and returned back home to Los Angeles. Having been told they are now immune from the virus, Hanks and Wilson have donated their blood as part of a study to see whether their antibodies can help develop a vaccine.  

Peter Kay fans have expressed their concerns for the comedian after his first TV appearance in two years. The beloved  standup was introducing a new version of his charity single “Amarillo” as part of the BBC’s Big Night In on Thursday evening. Kay, who has stayed out of the public eye since the final episode of his sitcom Car Share in 2018, was shown sat in the sunshine wearing glasses and a hat and eating an ice lolly. However, while many heralded the comic’s return to TV screens, they also expressed their concern for his health. “GREAT to see Peter Kay make an appearance on our screens tonight” said one user. “Poor bloke didn’t look or sound well, but still able to maintain his comedic heart licking on a solero! Hope whatever he’s going through he comes through the other end. Truly one of a kind.” “Great to see Peter Kay, although the legend is obviously far from 100 per cent. Whatever he’s battling, I and I’m sure the rest of the country wish him to get well very soon!” added another fan. “Hope Peter Kay gets through whatever he’s going through. The world’s a better place with him in it” said someone else. The 46-year-old cancelled his long-awaited UK and Ireland last year citing “unforeseen circumstances”. Other’s watching Big Night In praised how Kay had not lost touch with normal people, emphasising that some people cannot afford a charity donation. “Peter Kay ‘if you can give something, good, if you can’t then don’t worry, you’ve enough on your minds’” said one fan quoting the standup. “It is very nice to see a celeb who hasn’t lost touch with the ordinary people”.  

The odds of being struck and killed by a meteorite are said to be as low as one in 250,000. There has been no credible and well-documented evidence of any human being befalling this unfortunate fate. But researchers now say they have found three separate official papers describing a fatal encounter with an extra-terrestrial object more than 130 years ago. At around 8.30pm on 22 August, 1888, a fireball was seen in the sky shortly before a shower of meteorite pieces fell “like rain” on a village in Sulaymaniyah, Iraq, then part of the Ottoman Empire. One man died after being struck, while a second was left paralysed, according to the manuscripts stored in Turkish government archives. The event appears to have been confirmed by a report to the sultan, Abdul Hamid II. “Due to the fact that these documents are from official government sources and written by the local authorities… we do not have any suspicion on their reality,” the researchers say in an academic paper describing their findings. They say it is the “first proof of an event ever of an event that a meteorite hit and killed a man”. If accepted as sufficiently verified, it would also become the earliest documented incident of a meteor hitting a person. Previously that notoriety was held by the Sylacauga meteorite, which struck Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges as she slept on a sofa in a farmhouse in Alabama, USA, in November 1954. Hodges was bruised by the fragment, which appears to have bounced off a radio set before hitting her leg, but survived. Other less well-documented contenders include a report said to date back to 1677, when a friar was supposedly hit and killed by a sulphurous “stone from the clouds” which lodged in his thigh.

The Newly Infected

Well, who’d have thought it. Barely three weeks into this new section and no new celebrities have admitted to having caught the virus. Does this mean we have reached peak infection around the world? I doubt it…. 

On This Day

• 1865 – Union cavalry troopers corner and shoot dead John Wilkes Booth, assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, in Virginia.  
• 1933 – The Gestapo, the official secret police force of Nazi Germany, is established.  
• 1986 – A nuclear reactor accident occurs at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in the Soviet Union, creating the world’s worst nuclear disaster.  
• 1989 – The deadliest known tornado strikes Central Bangladesh, killing upwards of 1,300, injuring 12,000, and leaving as many as 80,000 homeless.

Deaths

• 1865 – John Wilkes Booth, American actor, assassin of Abraham Lincoln (b. 1838) 
• 1970 – Gypsy Rose Lee, American actress, striptease dancer, and writer (b. 1911)  
• 1976 – Sid James, South African-English actor (b. 1913)  
• 1989 – Lucille Ball, American model, actress, comedian, and producer (b. 1911)  
• 1999 – Jill Dando, English journalist and television personality (b. 1961)  
• 2017 – Jonathan Demme, American filmmaker, producer and screenwriter (b. 1944)

Last Meals

Adolf Hitler was a German politician and leader of the Nazi Party. He rose to power as the chancellor of Germany in 1933 and then as Führer in 1934. During his dictatorship from 1933 to 1945, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1st September 1939. He was closely involved in military operations throughout the war and was central to the perpetration of the Holocaust. 

Since we all know the mans history we’ll only cover his last moments. With The War coming to an end with the Allies capturing Berlin, Hitler was holed up in his Führerbunker, still giving out orders to his armies and arrest warrants for the colleagues who had deserted him. After midnight on the night of 28-29th April, Hitler married Eva Braun in a small civil ceremony in the bunker. Later that afternoon, Hitler was informed that Mussolini had been executed.  By April 30th, 1945, he finally realised he had lost the war.  

The German dictator’s last meal was eaten holed up in his bunker, he ate spaghetti with “light sauce” (although some biographers say he had lasagna). Hitler wanted a simple meal without any mention of the fall of Berlin, so the conversation consisted of dog breeding methods and “how lipstick was made from sewer grease.” Shortly after the meal, Hitler and Eva Braun, whom he had married less than 40 hours earlier, went into a private room and took their own lives. Hitler shot himself in the head and Braun bit into a cyanide capsule. Their bodies were carried outside to the garden behind the Reich Chancellery, where they were placed in a bomb crater, doused with petrol, and set on fire as the Red Army shelling continued. 

Records in the Soviet archives obtained after the fall of the Soviet Union state that the remains of Hitler, Braun, Joseph and Magda Goebbels, the six Goebbels children, General Hans Krebs, and Hitler’s dogs were repeatedly buried and exhumed. On 4th April 1970, a Soviet KGB team used detailed burial charts to exhume five wooden boxes at the SMERSH facility in Magdeburg. The remains from the boxes were burned, crushed, and scattered into the Biederitz river, a tributary of the Elbe. The corpses of Braun and Hitler were fully burned when the Red Army found them, and only a lower jaw with dental work could be identified as Hitler’s remains.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Channing Tatum (39), Giancarlo Esposito (61), Pablo Schreiber (41), Jet Li (56), Joan Chen (58), Kevin James (54), Melania Trump (49), Al Pacino (79), Renée Zellweger (50), Hank Azaria (55), Gina Torres (50), Talia Shire (73), William Roache (87), Rory McCann (50), Aidan Gillen (51), Kelly Clarkson (37), Barbra Streisand (77), Djimon Hounsou (55), Shirley MacLaine (85), Dev Patel (29), John Cena (42), John Oliver (42), Gemma Whelan (38), John Hannah (57), Lee Majors (80), Michael Moore (65), Blair Brown (73), Amber Heard (33), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (53), Jack Nicholson (82), Michelle Ryan (35), Sheryl Lee (52), John Waters (73), James McAvoy (41), Toby Stephens (51), Andie MacDowell (62), Tony Danza (69), Iggy Pop (73), Queen Elizabeth II (94), Andy Serkis (56), Jessica Lange (71), Ryan O’Neal (79), Clint Howard (61), Veronica Cartwright (71), Carmen Electra (48), Ruth Connell (41), George Takei (83), Leslie Phillips (96), Nicholas Lyndhurst (59), and Michael Brandon (75).

Last week we saw three Doctors of the Who variety have their birthdays and a few well loved celebrities meeting their makers. I was due to work with Tim Brooke-Taylor next month, but along with all kinds of events it was cancelled due to the virus, sadly now that particular event will never be rescheduled. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Peter Bonetti, 78, English footballer (Chelsea, Dundee United, national team), world champion (1966). 
• Tim Brooke-Taylor, 79, English comedian (The Goodies) and panellist (I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue), COVID-19.  
• Brian Dennehy, 81, American actor (First Blood, Tommy Boy, Cocoon), cardiac arrest due to sepsis.  
• Eddie Cooley, 87, American songwriter (“Fever“) and singer (“Priscilla“).  
• Howard Finkel, 69, American Hall of Fame professional wrestling ring announcer (WWE). 
• Norman Hunter, 76, English football player (Leeds United, Bristol City, national team) and manager, world champion (1966), COVID-19.

In Other News

Chadwick Bosemen’s appearance in a recent Instagram video has left fans concerned about the Avengers star. The actor, who plays the Black Panther, showcased a much slimmer physique as he shared a charity message about a new initiative to help battle the current coronavirus pandemic. Fans immediately flocked to the comments to note the change in how Chadwick, 42, appeared on screen as he rocked a purple cap and displayed a slightly scruffy beard. One fan asked, ‘Did you loose weight for a movie role ?????’ before another wrote: ‘Anyone in shock by how he look?’ While another concerned fan added: ‘I hope your okay, your appearance has changed.’ Chadwick’s weight loss may be down to his latest role in the TV series The Black Child, based on the book of the same name in which he plays a slave.   

Gogglebox star Jonathan Tapper was left “fighting for his life” as he battled coronavirus, his wife has revealed. The patriarch of the Tapper family, who appeared on the series for five years, struggled to breathe and was unable to move after being struck by the illness. Jonathan’s wife Nikki said: “One night Jonathan came home from work and was unable to move. He had a cough and high temperature. He laid down on the sofa and – with no exaggeration – he stayed there for two weeks in our lounge room.” She continued: “We tended to him as best we could, but at times he seemed unable to breathe. Having spoken to the doctors, they urged us to stay home, but they said to quickly get an oxygen monitor, which fixed to his finger.” 52-year-old Jonathan was particularly at risk for coronavirus due to his age, as well as underlying health conditions. In 2019, he lost three stone in 12 weeks to combat a diagnosis of diabetes. Two weeks after first coming down with the illness, Jonathan is said to still be resting, and his health is improving.  

Broadway star Nick Cordero is to have his leg amputated after suffering complications from coronavirus, his wife has confirmed. Yesterday, Cordero’s wife Amanda Kloots explained on her Instagram Story that she and her husband had received “difficult news”. She said that blood thinners doctors were using to help clotting in Cordero’s leg had sparked internal bleeding in his intestines. “We took him off blood thinners but that again was going to cause some clotting in the right leg, so the right leg will be amputated today,” Kloots said. The actor, who is best known for his work in Broadway productions of Waitress and Bullets Over Broadway, was initially diagnosed with pneumonia, before testing positive for coronavirus. While being treated in intensive care for a lung infection and fever, which caused a dangerous drop in blood pressure, he was placed on life support. He has remained unconscious in recovery since. 

A pensioner who was given a surprise flight in a £70million fighter jet as a retirement present was flung out at 2500ft after grabbing the ejector seat handle to  ‘steady himself’. The astonishing drama is outlined in a newly released report by French aviation investigators who have stern words for their country’s Airforce and government throughout. At times, it reads like a dark comedy film script, as it describes how the unidentified 64-year-old panicked and screamed with fear during his first flight in the Rafale-B which took off from Saint-Dizier airforce base, in north-west France last March. Then he shot out at high speed, losing his helmet that had not been fastened round his chin properly, before landing in a field close to the German border. His anti-g force suit, worn by aviators who are subject to high acceleration forces and designed to prevent a blackout, had also become loose around the trousers. It was only through good fortune that the pilot was not ejected by his passenger’s actions too – which could have led to a very serious crash. The pensioner had ‘never expressed a desire to take part in a flight like this, and especially not in a Rafale,’ reads the report by the Paris-based BEA (Bureau of Enquiry and Analysis). Despite this, his colleagues at the defence contractor where he had worked for most of his career set up the flight. ‘The need to keep the surprise until the moment of the flight,’ had hugely risky consequences, especially as regards ‘preparation for the flight,’ reads the report. It continues: ‘This situation generated a feeling of stress for the passenger, and this was particularly felt during the ejection seat briefing where he had to assimilate a large amount of information in a very short time. ‘The passenger said he had a complete lack of knowledge of the aeronautical environment and its constraints, having never flown  on a military aircraft.’ Four of the pensioner’s colleagues had turned up with a professional photographer, and they placed a Go-Pro camera on their friend’s helmet to film the afternoon flight. ‘Faced with a fait accompli on the day of the flight, it was very difficult for him to refuse to participate in the flight,’ says the report. The flight had also been authorised by the French Air Force staff at the request of the Defence Ministry, which also piled pressure on the pensioner. The pensioner, had expected a gentle ascent, but the plane ‘climbed at 47 degrees’, compared to around 10 to 15 degrees for a standard passenger plane. This was when the Frenchman reached out to hang on to anything he could, and pulled the ejector handle. There was then a loud bang, with the force of the ejection tearing his unsecured mask and oxygen mask from his face. The Rafele-B’s command ejection system is meant to fire both seats at once – meaning the pilot feared his seat would fly out at any moment. Analysis of radio recordings show that the pilot was in control of the situation. Once informed that his passenger had ejected, the pilot realises that he should have been ejected too. ‘He then demonstrated a certain calm following the loss of the rear seat and the canopy.’ The pensioner managed to land with the use of his parachute and ended up in a field, shocked and with minor injuries. 

The Newly Infected

• DJ Jazzy Jeff: says coronavirus-like symptoms caused him to forget 10 days of his life.  
• John Taylor: Duran Duran’s bassist, tested positive for COVID-19 three weeks ago. 
• Danny Burstein: The Moulin Rouge! star admitted to “coughing up blood for two to three days,” before being going to hospital.
• Sam Smith: Despite never getting tested, the Grammy-winner is convinced that it had coronavirus.
• Kalie Shorr: The country music singer has been diagnosed with coronavirus, despite being in quarantine for three weeks. 
• Sinitta: The singer said she felt like she’d ‘swallowed a packet of razor blades’ after contracting the virus.

On This Day

• 1770 – Captain James Cook, still holding the rank of lieutenant, sights the eastern coast of what is now Australia. 
• 1927 – Mae West is sentenced to ten days in jail for obscenity for her play Sex.  
• 1943 – Albert Hofmann deliberately doses himself with LSD for the first time, three days after having discovered its effects.  
• 1971 – Charles Manson is sentenced to death (later commuted to life imprisonment) for conspiracy in the Tate–LaBianca murders.  
• 1987 – The Simpsons first appear as a series of shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show, first starting with Good Night.  
• 1993 – The 51-day FBI siege of the Branch Davidian building in Waco, Texas, USA, ends when a fire breaks out. 76 Davidian’s, including eighteen children under the age of ten, died in the fire.

Deaths

• 1824 – Lord Byron, English-Scottish poet and playwright (b. 1788)  
• 1881 – Benjamin Disraeli, English journalist and politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1804) 
• 1882 – Charles Darwin, English biologist and theorist (b. 1809)  
• 1906 – Pierre Curie, French physicist and academic, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1859)  
• 1989 – Daphne du Maurier, English novelist and playwright (b. 1907)  
• 1992 – Frankie Howerd, English actor and screenwriter (b. 1917)  
• 2004 – Norris McWhirter, English author and activist co-founded the Guinness World Records (b. 1925)

Last Meals

Peter Kürten was a German serial killer known as “The Vampire of Düsseldorf” and the “Düsseldorf Monster“. He committed a series of murders and sexual assaults between February and November 1929 in the city of Düsseldorf. In the years before these assaults and murders, Kürten had amassed a lengthy criminal record for offences including arson and attempted murder. He also confessed to the 1913 murders of a nine-year-old girl in Mülheim am Rhein and a 17-year-old girl in Düsseldorf. Described as “the king of the sexual perverts,” Kürten was found guilty of nine counts of murder and seven counts of attempted murder for which he was sentenced to death by beheading in April 1931. He was executed in July 1931 at age 48. Kürten became known as the “Vampire of Düsseldorf” because he occasionally made attempts to drink the blood from his victims’ wounds, and the “Düsseldorf Monster” both because the majority of his murders were committed in and around the city of Düsseldorf, and the savagery he inflicted upon his victims’ bodies.  

On the evening of 1st July 1931, Kürten received his last meal. He ordered Wiener Schnitzel, a bottle of white wine, and fried potatoes. Kürten devoured the entire meal before requesting a second helping. Prison staff decided to grant his request. At 6 o’clock on the morning of 2nd July, Peter Kürten was beheaded by guillotine in the grounds of Klingelputz Prison, Cologne. He walked unassisted to the guillotine, flanked by the prison psychiatrist and a priest. Shortly before his head was placed on the guillotine, Kürten turned to the psychiatrist and asked the question: “Tell me…  after my head is chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood  gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures.” When asked whether he had any last words to say, Kürten simply smiled and replied, “No.” 

Following Kürten’s 1931 execution, his head was bisected and mummified; the brain was removed and subjected to forensic analysis in an attempt to explain his personality and behaviour. The examinations of Kürten’s brain revealed no abnormalities. Shortly after World War II, Kürten’s head was transported to the United States. It is currently on display at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Hayden Christensen (38), James Franco (41), Tim Curry (73),  Kate Hudson (40), Maria Sharapova (32), David Tennant (48), Hayley Mills (73), Edgar Wright (45), Rick Moranis (66), Eli Roth (47), James Woods (72), Conan O’Brien (56), Rooney Mara (35), Sean Bean (61), Jennifer Garner (48), David Bradley (78), Victoria Beckham (46), Claire Foy (36), Martin Lawrence (55), Ellen Barkin (66), Emma Watson (30), Luke Evans (41), Seth Rogen (38), Emma Thompson (61), Maisie Williams (23), Samantha Fox (54), Sarah Michelle Gellar (43), Adrien Brody (47), Robert Carlyle (59), Julie Christie (80), Peter Capaldi (62), Ron Perlman (70), William Sadler (70), Erick Avari (68), Edward Fox (83), and Peter Davison (69).

We have a winner! With the sad passing of Sir Stirling Moss, Ashley has scored 60 points! Well done that man! I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the overriding news of the week is this rather nasty flu that’s going around! Apparently it’s killing off thousands of people a day, barely any celebrities though… Even Boris is getting better :/ 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Alexander Thynn, 7th Marquess of Bath, 87, English politician and artist, Lord Temporal (1992–1999), COVID-19.  
• Honor Blackman, 94, English actress (The Avengers, Goldfinger, Jason and the Argonauts).  
• Shirley Douglas, 86, Canadian actress (Wind at My Back, Lolita, Barney’s Great Adventure) and civil rights activist, complications from pneumonia.
• Black the Ripper, 32, British grime MC, rapper and cannabis activist. 
• Allen Garfield, 80, American actor (The Conversation, Nashville, Beverly Hills Cop II), COVID-19.  
• John Prine, 73, American singer-songwriter (“Sam Stone“, “Angel from Montgomery“), Grammy winner (1992, 2006), COVID-19.  
• Linda Tripp, 70, American civil servant and whistleblower (Clinton–Lewinsky scandal), pancreatic cancer.  
• Malcolm Dixon, 66, English actor (Time Bandits, Return of the Jedi, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory).  
• Hilary Dwyer, 74, British actress (Witchfinder General, Cry of the Banshee, Wuthering Heights), COVID-19. 
• Sir Stirling Moss, 90, British Hall of Fame Formula One driver.

In Other News 

Promoter Barry Hearn is recovering after suffering a minor heart attack, his son and fellow promoter Eddie Hearn has confirmed. Hearn is the chairman of Matchroom Sport, World Snooker and professional darts organisation PDC. His son, who leads Matchroom Boxing, confirmed the news with a tribute to the NHS and an update on his father’s health. He wrote: “As if we can’t thank the NHS enough, I want to particularly thank the staff at Broomfield and Basildon. “My dad Barry Hearn was taken to hospital on Sunday after a minor heart attack and was operated on yesterday. He is up and well and returns home today in good spirits! Thank you.” Hearn has been active on Twitter despite recovering in hospital, even reaching out to a fan to thank him for his fiancée’s work for the NHS.  

Jimmy Greaves spent a comfortable night in hospital on Tuesday and is awaiting the outcome of tests. Tottenham announced on Tuesday night that their record goalscorer, who turned 80 in February, was receiving treatment in hospital. Greaves suffered a severe stroke in May 2015, which left him wheelchair-bound. A statement on his Facebook page, run by his friend and agent Terry Baker, read: “I did promise a statement mid-morning today when I posted a statement last night. “All I can say is no news is good news at the moment. Jimmy has spoken to his wife Irene by phone. “During the course of the day he will be having tests and when we find out the results I will post them on here. So watch this space and have a good thought for Jimmy as you go about your current daily routine. “His problem isn’t coronavirus-related and doesn’t seem to be related to his previous illness. Hopefully he won’t be in hospital for too long. “Thanks for the 1000s of you showing concern. England’s greatest ever goalscorer is still with us and here’s hoping he’s home soon.” 

Former Liverpool defender John Arne Riise and his daughter  have been hospitalised in Norway after being involved in a car accident in Norway in the early hours of the morning.  The 39-year-old was understood to be driving his 19-year-old daughter Ariana home to Alesund from Tonsberg in the middle of the night when he was forced to swerve in an effort to avoid something in the road, causing the vehicle to slide off the side-verge and into a guard rail. Police found the car stranded at the side of the road in Erstad, around five miles from Alesund, and both occupants were taken to hospital, though this is reported to have been a precautionary measure. Riise’s agent, Erland Bakke, confirmed the accident involved the former footballer and his daughter, and said that both were conscious as they were taken to hospital for medical checks. Police have confirmed that there is no suspicion of criminal circumstances. 

The Newly Infected

• Karl von Habsburg, the Archduke of Austria: The 59-year-old has been diagnosed with COVID-19 and is now being quarantined. 
• George Alagiah: The BBC newsreader confirmed he had tested positive for the virus but said he thought he had had a “mild dose”.  
• Alister Jack: Scottish Secretary and member of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s cabinet has developed symptoms of COVID-19.   
• Chris Whitty: England’s Chief Medical Officer announced he was in self-isolation at home after experiencing coronavirus symptoms.  
• Sir Kenny Dalgish: The former Liverpool player and manager tested positive after being admitted to hospital.

On This Day

• 1606 – The Union Flag is adopted as the flag of English and Scottish ships.  
• 1934 – The strongest surface wind gust in the world at the time of 231 mph, is measured on the summit of Mount Washington, New Hampshire. It has since been surpassed.  
• 1945 – U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office; Vice President Harry S. Truman becomes President upon Roosevelt’s death.  
• 1961 – The Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space and perform the first manned orbital flight, Vostok 1.   
• 1981 – The first launch of a Space Shuttle (Columbia) takes place: The STS-1 mission.

Deaths

• 1817 – Charles Messier, French astronomer and academic (b. 1730)  
• 1945 – Franklin D. Roosevelt, American lawyer and politician, 32nd President of the United States (b. 1882)  
• 1981 – Joe Louis, American boxer and wrestler (b. 1914)  
• 1989 – Sugar Ray Robinson, American boxer (b. 1921)

Last Meals

Aileen Wuornos was an American serial killer and prostitute who murdered seven men in Florida in 1989 and 1990 by shooting them at point-blank range. Wuornos claimed that her victims had either raped or attempted to rape her while she was servicing them, and that all of the homicides were committed in self-defense. She was sentenced to death for six of the murders and was executed by lethal injection on October 9, 2002. The 2003 film Monster chronicles Wuornos’ story from childhood until her first murder conviction. It stars Charlize Theron as Wuornos, a performance that earned Theron an Academy Award for Best Actress. Wuornos was incarcerated at the Florida Department of Corrections Broward Correctional Institution death row for women, then transferred to the Florida State Prison for execution. Her appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court was denied in 1996. In a 2001 petition to the Florida Supreme Court, she stated her intention to dismiss her legal counsel and terminate all pending appeals. “I killed those men,” she wrote, “robbed them as cold as ice. And I’d do it again, too. There’s no chance in keeping me alive or anything, because I’d kill again. I have hate crawling through my system…I am so sick of hearing this ‘she’s crazy’ stuff. I’ve been evaluated so many times. I’m competent, sane, and I’m trying to tell the truth. I’m one who seriously hates human life and would kill again.” While her attorneys argued that she was not  mentally competent to make such a request, Wuornos insisted that she knew what she was doing, and a court-appointed panel of psychiatrists agreed. Wuornos’s execution took place on October 9, 2002. She died at 9:47 a.m. EDT. She declined her last meal which could have been anything under $20 and opted for a cup of coffee instead. Her last words were, “Yes, I would just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back, like Independence Day, with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I’ll be back, I’ll be back.” She was the tenth woman in the United States and the second in Florida to be executed since the 1976 United States Supreme Court decision restoring capital punishment. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Saoirse Ronan (25), Claire Danes (40), Jennifer Morrison (40), Andy Garcia (63), Ed O’Neill (73), Shannen Doherty (48), David Letterman (72), Tricia Helfer (45), Matt Ryan (38), Jeremy Clarkson (59), Joss Stone (32), Jill Gascoine (82), Charlie Hunnam (39), Daisy Ridley (27), Haley Joel Osment (31), David Harbour (44), Steven Seagal (67), Peter MacNicol (65), Kristen Stewart (30), Elle Fanning (22), Dennis Quaid (66), Robin Wright (54), Patricia Arquette (52), Dean Norris (57), Jackie Chan (66), Russell Crowe (56), Francis Ford Coppola (81), Paul Rudd (51), John Ratzenberger (73), Michael Rooker (65), Zach Braff (45), and Billy Dee Williams (83).

Here we go again, yet more deathly news. Surprisingly, still no scoring even though the world is currently experiencing an apocalypse of sorts. Maybe we’ll see more deaths when the toilet roll runs out. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Andrew Jack, 76, British dialect coach (The Lord of the Rings, Sherlock Holmes) and actor (Star Wars), COVID-19.  
• Bill Withers, 81, American Hall of Fame singer-songwriter (“Lean on Me“, “Ain’t No Sunshine“, “Lovely Day“), heart disease.  
• Julie Bennett, 88, American actress (What’s Up, Tiger Lily?, The Yogi Bear Show, Sole Survivor), COVID-19. 
• Logan Williams, 16, Canadian actor (The Flash, When Calls the Heart).  
• Eddie Large, 78, British comedian (Little and Large), COVID-19.

In Other News

Celebrities have been criticised for “fanning the flames” of conspiracy theories linking 5G technology to coronavirus after several videos claiming to show 5G towers on fire emerged on social media. A Facebook page, which was created on Thursday, encouraged people to set fire to the towers due to baseless claims about the health risks posed by 5G technology, before the social media company took down the page on Friday morning. Amanda Holden, reality TV star Calum Best, Actor Woody Harrelson, Blue singer Lee Ryan and former Dancing on Ice judge Jason Gardiner were among the celebrities who shared theories connecting 5G to the Covid-19 pandemic. Perhaps it’s at times like these we should take the opportunity to thin the herd and relive us of the stupid to decrease the surplus population, or perhaps just remove the ‘Do not drink’ label on bottles of bleach and see what happens.  

Comedian Eddie Large, best known for being part of double act Little and Large, has died with a very dubious case of the coronavirus. The star, 78, was a well known face on TV in the 1970s and 80s and was famous for his partnership with Syd Little. His family confirmed the news “with great sadness” on Facebook, saying he had been suffering with heart failure and then contracted the virus in hospital. Little said he was “devastated” by the news. “He had been ill for a while but when it happens, it hits you,” he said. His death leaves us with the question, what finally killed off Eddie Large? The fact that his heart was fucked for a long time or catching the lurgy whilst in hospital? I doubt he was in hospital if he was able to do cartwheels down the corridors, so to publicise his death, they stuck the C-19 label on him. Large stepped away from the limelight when the Little & Large Show ended in 1991, after doctors told Large his heart couldn’t stand the rigours of the live show. “That phone call to Syd was the most painful I’ve ever had to make,” he told the Mirror in 2017. “I was crying my eyes out because I knew I was putting him out of work. He had bills to pay. “I felt horrible. We weren’t just a double act. We were mates, right from the start.” Large had a heart transplant in 2003, and became a spokesman for the British Heart Foundation. Little said he had remained in almost daily contact with his stage partner, and spoke to him on Wednesday night, shortly before he died. “He was in pain, bless him, but he even asked me how we were,” he said. “He was so thoughtful to everybody.”

The Newly Infected

• Dominic Cummings: is self-isolating at home after showing symptoms Downing Street has confirmed.    
• Dynamo: has revealed he has tested positive after experiencing “severe” symptoms. 
• Ali Wentworth: said on April 1st that she’s “never been sicker” after testing positive. “High fever. Horrific body aches. Heavy chest. I’m quarantined from my family,” she said on Instagram. “This is pure misery.” 
• Debi Mazar: took to Instagram to reveal that she tested positive for the disease. “I have just tested positive for Covid-19. I AM OK!” 
• Indira Varma: appeared to confirm that she tested positive for coronavirus. The “Game of Thrones” and “Carnival Row” star said I’m in bed with it and it’s not nice. Stay safe and healthy and be kind to your fellow people.”  
• Pink: announced she tested positive for coronavirus, in an Instagram post that criticised the US government’s handling of the crisis. 
• Greta Thunberg: the teenage climate change activist, has revealed that she has self-isolated after showing coronavirus symptoms. 
• Lee Mack: the comedian said on March 26th that he was self-isolating at home after developing symptoms. 
• Paul Chuckle: is currently recovering from having contracted Covid-19. 
• Robbie Williams: he believes he had coronavirus while he was self-isolating away from his family for three weeks.  
• Marianne Faithfull: the singer, who also has pneumonia, is “stable and responding to treatment”, according to her agent.

On This Day

• 1722 – The Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen discovers Easter Island.  
• 1951 – Cold War: Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union.  
• 1998 – In Japan, the Akashi Kaikyō Bridge opens to traffic, becoming the longest bridge span in the world.

Deaths

• 1923 – George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon, English archaeologist and businessman (b. 1866)  
• 1964 – Douglas MacArthur, American general (b. 1880)  
• 1976 – Howard Hughes, American pilot, engineer, and director (b. 1905)  
• 1994 – Kurt Cobain, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1967)  
• 2006 – Gene Pitney, American singer-songwriter (b. 1941)  
• 2008 – Charlton Heston, American actor, director, and political activist (b. 1923)  
• 2012 – Jim Marshall, English businessman, founded Marshall Amplification (b. 1923)

Last Meals

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were American citizens who were convicted of spying on behalf of the Soviet Union. The couple were accused of providing top-secret information about radar, sonar, jet propulsion engines, and valuable nuclear weapon designs; at that time the United States was the only country in the world with nuclear weapons. Convicted of espionage in 1951, they were executed by the federal government of the United States in 1953 in the Sing Sing correctional facility in Ossining, New York. 

The trial of the Rosenbergs on federal espionage charges began on March 6th, 1951. The prosecution’s primary witness, David Greenglass, said that he turned over to Julius Rosenberg a sketch of the cross-section of an implosion-type atom bomb. This was the “Fat Man” bomb dropped on Nagasaki, Japan, as opposed to a bomb with the “gun method” triggering device used in the “Little Boy” bomb dropped on Hiroshima. The Rosenbergs both remained defiant as the trial progressed. During testimony, they asserted their right under the US Constitution’s Fifth Amendment not to incriminate themselves when asked about their involvement in the Communist Party or their activities with its members. On March 29th, 1951, the Rosenbergs were convicted of espionage. They were sentenced to death on April 5th under Section 2 of the Espionage Act of 1917, which provides that anyone convicted of transmitting or attempting to transmit to a foreign government “information relating to the national defence” may be imprisoned for life or put to death. They were transferred to New York State’s Sing Sing Correctional Facility in Ossining, New York, for execution. The execution was delayed from the originally scheduled date of June 18th, because Supreme Court Associate Justice William O. Douglas had granted a stay of execution on the previous day. The execution was scheduled for 11 p.m. that evening, during the Jewish Sabbath, which begins and ends around sunset. Their attorney asked for more time, filing a complaint that execution on the Sabbath offended the  defendants’ Jewish heritage. Rhoda Laks, another attorney on the Rosenbergs’ defence team, also made this argument before the Judge. The defence’s strategy backfired. The Judge, who also stated his concerns about executing the Rosenbergs on the Jewish Sabbath, rescheduled the execution for 8 p.m. before sunset and the Jewish Sabbath and before 11 p.m., the regular time for executions at Sing Sing, thus not allowing for the Rosenbergs time to have a last meal. 

Julius died after the first electric shock. Ethel’s execution did not go smoothly. After she was given the normal course of three electric shocks, attendants removed the strapping and other equipment only to have doctors determine that Ethel’s heart was still beating. Two more electric shocks were applied, and at the conclusion, eyewitnesses reported that smoke rose from her head. The Rosenbergs were the only two American civilians to be executed for espionage-related activity during the Cold War.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Lily James (30), Mitch Pileggi (67), Jane Asher (73), Agnetha Fältskog (69), Pharrell Williams (46), Robert Downey Jr. (54), Hugo Weaving (59), Natasha Lyonne (40), Cherie Lunghi (67), Xenia Seeberg (51), Amanda Bynes (34), Eddie Murphy (59), Alec Baldwin (62), Paris Jackson (22), Pedro Pascal (45), Michael Fassbender (43), Clark Gregg (58), Penelope Keith (80), Mackenzie Davis (33), Ali MacGraw (81), Michael Praed (60), Ewan McGregor (49), Christopher Walken (77), Rhea Perlman (72), Daniel Mays (42), Richard Chamberlain (86), Robbie Coltrane (70), Warren Beatty (83), Eric Clapton (75), and Céline Dion (52).

As the ongoing viral infection is taking over the news, I’d hoped not to have to mention it here, but alas that’s nigh on impossible. All news that isn’t Coronavirus related has been binned and anything and everything is now associated with said infection. This is the first week that I have noticed a rise in notable deaths from the virus, mainly celebrities in Spain and Italy and a few in America, however, since Trump is mishandling the situation more than Boris is, I suspect a few of us will be scoring quite soon. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Eric Weissberg, 80, American folk musician (“Dueling Banjos“, The Tarriers), complications from Alzheimer’s disease.  
• David Collings, 79, British actor (Scrooge, The Thirty Nine Steps, The Invisible Woman).  
• John Campbell-Jones, 90, British Formula One driver.  
• Albert Uderzo, 92, French comic book artist (Asterix, Oumpah-pah), heart attack.  
• Mark Blum, 69, American actor (Crocodile Dundee, Mozart in the Jungle, Desperately Seeking Susan), COVID-19.  
• Bob Andy, 75, Jamaican reggae singer (The Paragons, Bob and Marcia), songwriter and actor (The Mighty Quinn).  
• John Callahan, 66, American actor (All My Children, Falcon Crest, Days of Our Lives), stroke.  
• Matthew Faber, 47, American actor (Welcome to the Dollhouse, The Pallbearer, Natural Born Killers).

In Other News

First the coronavirus outbreak shuttered entertainment venues and events around the world. And now it is starting to claim the lives of artists, entertainers and other celebrated figures. First to succumb is actor Mark Blum, known for roles in “‘Crocodile’ Dundee” and “Desperately Seeking Susan,” who died on March 25th from complications of COVID-19. He was 69. Terrence McNally, a four-time Tony Award-winning playwright, died on March 24th at the age of 81 of complications from the coronavirus. His works included “Master Class,” “Love! Valour! Compassion!” and “Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune,” which later became a film with Michelle Pfeiffer and Al Pacino. Italian actress Lucia Bosè, who starred in such films as Michelangelo Antonioni’s “Story of a Love Affair” (1950) and Juan Antonio Bardem’s “Death of a Cyclist” (1955), died on March 23rd of pneumonia after contracting COVID-19. She was 89. Chef Floyd Cardoz, winner of “Top Chef Masters” Season 3, died at the age of 59 of coronavirus complications on March 25th. I suspect this section of The Dead Pool to take over the newsletter, if I’m still here to write it… 

The Newly Infected

• Boris Johnson: British Prime Minister Boris Johnson said he tested positive for coronavirus. In a video posted to Twitter Friday, the conservative leader said he was tested after showing mild symptoms, including a cough.
• Harvey Weinstein: The 68-year-old former film producer tested positive for the coronavirus at a state prison in New York while serving a 23-year sentence for rape and sexual assault, the head of the state correctional officers union said March 23rd. 
• Prince Charles: the Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne tested positive for the coronavirus on March 25th. The 71-year-old is displaying mild symptoms “but otherwise remains in good health”. 
• Rand Paul: The Republican of Kentucky is first United States senator to test positive for coronavirus. 
• Matthew Hancock: Britain’s Health Secretary Matthew Hancock announced on March 27th he tested positive for the coronavirus. 
• Alister Jack: Scottish Secretary and member of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s Cabinet has developed symptoms of COVID-19.
• Placido Domingo: On March 22nd, the Spanish opera singer said he had tested positive for coronavirus and had gone into self-isolation with his family.   
• David Bryan: The Bon Jovi keyboardist announced that he tested positive for COVID-19 after feeling sick for a week.

On This Day

• 845 – Paris is sacked by Viking raiders, probably under Ragnar Lodbrok, who collects a huge ransom in exchange for leaving.
• 1886 – John Pemberton brews the first batch of Coca-Cola in a backyard in Atlanta.
• 1974 – Terracotta Army was discovered in Shaanxi province, China.
• 2014 – The first same-sex marriages in England and Wales are performed.

Deaths

• 1891 – Georges Seurat, French painter (b. 1859)
• 1972 – J. Arthur Rank, English businessman, founded Rank Organisation (b. 1888)
• 1982 – Carl Orff, German composer and educator (b. 1895)

Last Meals

John Spenkelink was a convicted American murderer. He was executed in 1979, the first convicted criminal to be executed in Florida after capital punishment was reinstated in 1976. Spenkelink was a drifter who was convicted in California for armed robbery and had been sentenced to five years-to-life. He had just escaped from the Slack Canyon Conservation Camp when he shot and killed a small-time criminal named Joseph Szymankiewicz in Tallahassee, Florida, in 1973. He claimed that he acted in self-defence —that Szymankiewicz had stolen his money, forced him to play Russian roulette, and sexually assaulted him. However, evidence and witness testimony from a co-defendant indicated that Spenkelink left their shared motel room, returned with a gun, and shot Szymankiewicz in the back. He turned down a plea bargain to second-degree murder that would have resulted in a life sentence. In 1976 he was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to death. 

Spenkelink’s case became a national cause célèbre, encompassing both the broader debate over the morality of the death penalty and the narrower question of whether the  punishment fitted Spenkelink’s crime. His cause was taken up by former Florida Governor LeRoy Collins, actor Alan Alda, and singer Joan Baez, among many others. Also at issue was the assertion that capital punishment discriminated against the poor and underprivileged — Spenkelink often signed his prison correspondence with the epigram, “capital punishment means those without capital get the punishment.” 

Prior to his execution Spenkelink split a flask of Jack Daniel’s whiskey with his prison superintendent. The execution was carried out on May 25th, 1979, on “Old Sparky”, the Florida State Prison electric chair. That morning, Doug Tracht, a popular Jacksonville disc jockey, aired a recording of sizzling bacon on his radio program and dedicated it to Spenkelink.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ed Skrein (36), Marina Sirtis (64), Lucy Lawless (51), Brendan Gleeson (64), Christopher Lambert (62), Elle Macpherson (55), Eric Idle (76), Julia Stiles (38), Vince Vaughn (49), Orla Brady (51), Nick Frost (47), Lady Gaga (33), Dianne Wiest (71), Chris Barrie (59), Quentin Tarantino (56), Nathan Fillion (48), Julian Glover (84), Fergie (44), Mariah Carey (49), Jessie J (31), Keira Knightley (35), Jennifer Grey (60), James Caan (80), Martin Short (70), Diana Ross (76), Steven Tyler (72), Lee Pace (41), Sarah Jessica Parker (55), Elton John (73), Paul Michael Glaser (77), Richard O’Brien (78), Jessica Chastain (43), Alyson Hannigan (46), Lara Flynn Boyle (50), Jim Parsons (47), Kelly LeBrock (60), Mary Berry (85), Amanda Plummer (63), and Joanna Page (42).