A fairly scant week on the deaths front, but I did find an interesting story to share below. I do think it may be time for a Flying Monkey incident. Fly my lovelies, fly! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Douglas Trumbull, 79, American special effects supervisor (2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner) and film director (Silent Running), complications from mesothelioma.  
• Bamber Gascoigne, 87, British television presenter (University Challenge) and author (The Great Moghuls).  
• Ian McDonald, 75, English musician (King Crimson, Foreigner, Steve Hackett).  
• Betty Davis, 77, American funk and soul singer, cancer.  
• Isabel Torres, 52, Spanish actress (Veneno) and television presenter, lung cancer.

In Other News

The Queen’s recent Covid-19 scare has sparked debate over which royals should be allowed to step in for her if she is unable to fulfil her duties. Her Majesty is currently being “monitored” after it was revealed she was in close contact with Prince Charles two days before he tested positive with coronavirus. If the Queen cannot undertake her official duties, there are four potential royals who are Counsellors of State and appointed by Letters Patent who can fill in for her – Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Andrew and Prince Harry. Buckingham Palace refused to confirm whether the 95-year-old monarch had tested positive or negative for Covid, fuelling fears for her health, but palace sources insisted she was not displaying symptoms of the virus. Counsellors of State are appointed from among the following: the monarch’s consort (which was the late Prince Philip) and the four adults over the age of 21 next in succession. These are currently Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Harry and Prince Andrew. And since Charles contracted Covid yesterday and William abroad in Dubai, if both the Queen and Charles were too unwell to carry out duties, the role would have fallen to Andrew and Harry. However, Andrew has stepped back permanently from royal life while he fights a civil sexual assault case, while Harry is in the US having also quit as a senior working royal. Andrew and Harry remain in the line of succession, but the fact that Harry is out of the UK living in California could potentially disqualify him from a Counsellor of State role, although he could travel back to London if ever required. Former BBC royal correspondent Peter Hunt tweeted: “With Prince Charles isolating and Prince William abroad, is Prince Andrew limbering up in case he needs to be a Counsellor of State – or can Prince Harry do it, virtually?” But, in the event Counsellors of State were needed, he would only be one of the two required. Charles is understood not to have serious symptoms after testing positive on Thursday.    

Radio 2 presenter Rylan Clark has been rushed to hospital, which forced him to pull out of his BBC show for the second week in a row. It is not yet known why Rylan was taken to hospital, but last week, he told his followers he had the flu. The host, 33, has since revealed he is now back at home after “an extended stay” and will not be on the radio tomorrow. Sharing a picture of his arm fitted with a cannula, the star confirmed that he was “on the mend”.  He wrote: “Finally home after an extended trip to Costa del hospital. Slowly on the mend. “Won’t be on the wireless tomorrow. Resting up. Be back soon.” The former X Factor star usually presents Rylan On Saturday every week between 3-6pm, but his recent health troubles have prompted a bit of a shake-up. Last week, Rylan was also forced to pull out of his stint on the airwaves after coming down with the flu. He told his followers at the time: “Gone and got the flu (not surprised) been in bed for a couple of days. “Have lat tested and not Covid thankfully but won’t be able to go on the wireless tomorrow. Be back soon x.” Rylan recently opened up about his mental health issues following the breakdown of his marriage last year. The star revealed to The Flying Monkeys that he had lost a lot of weight during the ordeal, as he struggled to cope with splitting from his partner Dan Neal, 41, after five years together. During the tell-all interview, he admitted that his weight had plummeted to 9st 13lb and that he “didn’t deal with what happened”. He said: “I got ill and I lost weight, I went down to under ten stone — and I’m six feet four inches, so that’s not good. The honest truth is that it’s been shit,” he confessed. Rylan went on to explain that his family had been “majorly worried” about him and that he never usually “disappears for four months”, in reference to his career break amid the breakdown of his marriage. “One of my biggest regrets of this year was putting my mum through me not being well,” he said. “I needed to get back to me.”   

Rapper Kodak Black was shot in the leg while leaving a party held for Justin Bieber. The musician had been a guest at a Super Bowl weekend party at The Nice Guy, a restaurant in Los Angeles, on Friday night. According to reports by the flying monkeys, Kodak – real name Bill Kapri – was outside the restaurant with fellow rappers Gunna and Lil Baby in the early hours of Saturday morning. A fight broke out within the group, with Black reportedly attempting to punch someone when gunshots were heard by witnesses. “The fight was believed to have started with someone in Kodak Black’s entourage,” a source told the flying monkeys. “After others jumped in, shots were fired… and then all hell broke loose.” Police said that ten shots were fired during the altercations, with four men injured, including Black. One is said to have been shot in the shoulder, one the leg and one the buttocks, a source said, while photos showed a man covered in blood. Two of the men (a 19 and 60-year-old) were taken straight to the hospital from the scene. A 24-year-old (believed to be Black) and another man took themselves to hospital later. Two of the men are yet to be named by local authorities, but they are all said to be in a stable condition. The Los Angeles Police Department confirmed to the flying monkeys that no arrests had been made. The chief monkey has contacted Black’s representatives for comment. Sadly, Bieber was unscathed and he and his wife Hailey quickly left The Nice Guy after the shots were fired. Other attendees at the event, which had been an afterparty following a show by the “Peaches” singer, included Jeff Bezos, Drake, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Kendall Jenner and Khloe Kardashian. 

On This Day

• 1542 – Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII of England, is executed for adultery.
• 1960 – With the success of a nuclear test codenamed “Gerboise Bleue“, France becomes the fourth country to possess nuclear weapons.
• 2004 – The Harvard–Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics announces the discovery of the universe’s largest known diamond, white dwarf star BPM 37093. Astronomers named this star “Lucy” after The Beatles’ song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds“.

Deaths

• 1542 – Catherine Howard, English wife of Henry VIII of England (executed; b. 1521).
• 1883 – Richard Wagner, German composer (b. 1813).
• 1958 – Christabel Pankhurst, English activist, co-founded the Women’s Social and Political Union (b. 1880).

The Most Kissed Woman in the World

Nobody knows what her name was. We don’t know her age or background. How her life brought her to Paris, and left her drowned in the River Seine. But when her lifeless body was pulled from those murky waters in the late 19th century, the girl known forevermore as L’Inconnue de la Seine (the unknown woman of the Seine) began an amazing new story in death. 

This strange second chapter, a surreal postscript nobody could have ever predicted, ultimately helped save millions of lives, even after her own was cut so tragically short. Or was it? The exact history of what happened to L’Inconnue both before and after her fateful drowning is a matter of some debate – one shrouded in a frayed, fanciful Parisian legend. But what follows is the most commonly told version of a tale that’s now perhaps 150 years old. 

L’Inconnue, who is estimated to have been about 16 years old when she died, may have been a suicide. Nobody knows for sure, but there were no marks on her body, and many concluded she took her own life. After she was pulled out of the Seine, she was transported to the Paris mortuary, and put on public display alongside the bodies of other unknown dead for the purpose of identification. This grisly parade of nameless corpses was a popular diversion in its day. “There is not a single window in Paris that attracts more onlookers than this,” a contemporary account explains. Despite the crowds, however, nobody recognised L’Inconnue, or at least none came forward. But while she may never have been identified by the crowds who attended her corpse, that’s not to say she went unnoticed. 

Even in death her serene appearance turned heads. One of those heads belonged to an attendant at the mortuary, who – so the story goes – was so transfixed by her, he ordered a plaster cast to be made of her face. 

The mask was a hit. Before long, L’Inconnue’s alluring, deathly likeness was reproduced in facsimiles sold in souvenir shops across Paris, then Germany, and the rest of Europe. The mesmerising mask of this unknown dead girl – described by philosopher and author Albert Camus as the “drowned Mona Lisa” – became a coveted cultural icon. 

In time, L’Inconnue’s frozen half-smile rested on mantels and hung in drawing rooms all over the continent. She was positioned in artists’ workshops, gazed upon as a mute, motionless model. But it wasn’t just sketchers and painters who were captivated. Poets and novelists became entranced too. At some point, L’Inconnue turned into a kind of morbid meme for early 20th century writers, who contrived countless dramatic histories for this heartbroken heroine, engulfed by ill fortune and the weight of water. 

“The facts were so scarce that every writer could project what they wanted on to that smooth face,” museum archivist Hélène Pinet told The Flying Monkeys in 2007. “Death in water was a very romantic concept. Death, water, and woman was a tantalising combination.” One critic described her as “the erotic ideal of the period”, the aesthetic template for a “whole generation of German girls who modelled their looks on her”. 

Half a century after this explosion of fame and fascination was lit, L’Inconnue transformed into something else again – with the help of a man who was born decades after she died. 

His name was Asmund Laerdal, and he was a toy manufacturer from Norway. His company had started off in the early 1940s printing children’s books and calendars, before moving on to small toys made out of wood. After the war, Laerdal began to experiment with a new kind of material that had just entered mass production: plastic. Using this soft, malleable substance, he manufactured one of his most famous playthings: the ‘Anne’ doll, which in post-war Norway was acclaimed “toy of the year… with sleeping eyes and natural hair”. She might have been sleeping, but Anne wasn’t L’Inconnue. At least, not yet.

One day, Laerdal’s two-year-old son, Tore, nearly drowned. Had his father not rushed to intervene – pulling the limp boy from the water and forcing the water out of his airways – things would have turned out very differently. So when a group of anaesthesiologists approached Laerdal and told him they needed a doll to demonstrate a newly developed resuscitation technique – a procedure known as CPR – they found an attentive, receptive listener. 

With these researchers – including, most notably, the  Austrian physician Peter Safar, who had helped pioneer the CPR method – Laerdal embarked upon a history-making project: making a life-sized mannequin that people could use to practise life-saving techniques. For a toymaker accustomed to manufacturing miniature cars and play-dolls, it was a challenge to make a realistic, functional mannequin; one that could reliably demonstrate the physical complexities of cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Aside from the technical issues, what kind of face would he give to this giant doll? That’s when Laerdal recalled a strange, enigmatic half-smile. A serene mask he’d seen hanging on the wall at his in-laws’ house. It was, of course, L’Inconnue.

Laerdal kept the name of his Anne doll, but gave the new mannequin L’Inconnue’s face, along with a body of full sized adult dimensions – including a collapsible chest for practising compressions, and open lips to simulate mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 

Laerdal felt it was important that the mannequin should be a female, suspecting that men in the 1960s would be reluctant to practise CPR on a male doll’s lips. The mannequin was given the name Resusci Anne (Rescue Anne); in America, she was known as CPR Annie.

Since she became available in the 1960s, Resusci Anne hasn’t been the only CPR mannequin on the market, but she is considered the first and most successful ‘patient simulator’ ever – responsible for helping hundreds of millions of people learn the basics of how to save a life with CPR. That incredible number, amassed over almost 60 years of live-giving mouth to mouth, is why Resusci Anne is often said to have the most-kissed face of anyone in history.

Today, the Laerdal company estimates that two million lives have been saved by CPR. Ironically, most of these rescues were the eventual result of people kneeling down and coming face to face with the replica of an unknown dead girl from Paris – a Jane Doe who perished long before the technique could ever have saved her. 

With time, the resuscitation replica became famous herself – separately from L’Inconnue and the bygone trends of late 19th century Paris. 

The lyric “Annie, are you OK?” from the Michael Jackson song “Smooth Criminal” actually stems from American CPR training, in which students practise speaking to their unresponsive plastic patient, CPR Annie. Today, however, many doubt that the flawless features of L’Inconnue’s mask could have ever come from a drowned girl – with skeptics suggesting that the face of a corpse, especially one retrieved from a river, would be misshapen, bloated, or scarred. Some say the mask we know may have instead been taken of a live model posing for a moulder – a beautiful face who later became somehow swept up in another girl’s legend.

L’Inconnue’s remains are thought to have been disposed of in an unmarked pauper’s grave, and police records from the era make no mention of this mysterious girl.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Neal McDonough (56), Mena Suvari (43), Sophia Lillis (20), Tony Dalton (47), Stockard Channing (78), Kim Novak (89), Christina Ricci (42), Josh Brolin (54), Michael Ironside (72), Arsenio Hall (66), Taylor Lautner (30), Natalie Dormer (40), Jennifer Aniston (53), Damian Lewis (51), Thomas Turgoose (30), Sheryl Crow (60), Stephanie Beatriz (41), Chloë Grace Moretz (25), Elizabeth Banks (48), Keeley Hawes (46), Laura Dern (55), Robert Wagner (92), Philip Glenister (59), Holly Willoughby (41), Rose Leslie (35), Tom Hiddleston (41), Michael B. Jordan (35), Ciarán Hinds (69), Joe Pesci (79), Amber Valletta (48), Mia Farrow (77), Mary Steenburgen (69), Seth Green (48), Nick Nolte (81), John Williams (90), James Spader (62), Deborah Ann Woll (37), Eddie Izzard (60), Ashton Kutcher (44), and Chris Rock (57).

Here we go again! No points this week, but loads to read. So make a nice cup of tea and sit back and let the flying monkeys massage your feet. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Howard Hesseman, 81, American actor (WKRP in Cincinnati, This Is Spinal Tap, Head of the Class), complications from colon surgery.  
• Leonard Fenton, 95, English actor (EastEnders).  
• Robert Wall, 82, American martial artist and actor (Enter the Dragon, Game of Death, Hero and the Terror).   
• Cheslie Kryst, 30, American television presenter (Extra) and beauty queen (Miss USA 2019), suicide by jumping. 
• Brian Augustyn, 67, American comic book editor and writer (The Flash, Gotham by Gaslight, Imperial Guard), stroke. 
• Moses J. Moseley, 31, American actor (The Walking Dead, Queen of the South, Watchmen). 
• Popcorn Deelites, 23, American racehorse and animal actor (Seabiscuit), colic. 

In Other News

Simon Cowell has said that he’ll “definitely wear a helmet” in the future after crashing his e-bike for the second time in 18 months. The former X Factor judge broke his arm on the 24th January after suffering an accident near his home in west London. Witnesses said that Cowell hadn’t been wearing a helmet and had “blood pouring from his face”. Speaking to the flying monkeys, the music mogul said that he was doing “OK” and “feeling much better” after the accident. “It happened just round the corner,” he said. “I’m a bit of a nutter. I’ll definitely wear a helmet next time.” Cowell was said to have been driving the e-bike at a speed of about 20mph when the accident occurred, with the 62-year-old then being rushed to a nearby hospital with a broken arm, badly bruised cheek and possible concussion. He was discharged the same day and photographed with his arm in a yellow cast. In August 2020, Cowell broke his back while testing out his new £10,000 e-bike in the courtyard of his Malibu home. Speaking about the incident at the time and after he was forced to undergo surgery, Cowell said: “Some good advice… If you buy an electric trail bike, read the manual before you ride it for the first time.”   

1000Lb Sisters star Tammy Slaton was left fighting for her life in a coma after a terrifying health scare. The 35-year-old fronts the TLC series with sister Amy, offering viewers a front-row seat into their weight loss journey as well as an intimate look at their personal lives. Her struggles have been documented in the past, with viewers left shocked at her decision to leave a food addiction rehab early in previous episodes. However, things took a scary turn in the latest instalment, when she was rushed to hospital shortly after arriving at another weight loss facility. Her family got a concerning phone call that she had ‘quit breathing’ before being rushed for emergency treatment. ‘They’re just telling us that her lungs have given up, and like her body is shutting down,’ sister Amanda told the cameras. ‘So at this point, we’re facing making funeral arrangements for my little sister. ‘I’m just sitting here thinking, “Oh my god.” She’s been in such a bad place for so long. She waited too long. And now that she has the courage to step out and get the help that she needs, now this.’ Tammy’s brother, Chris, explained that doctors weren’t sure whether she would ‘make it through the next hours’, with her loved ones gathering by her bedside. She was placed into a medically induced coma at the hospital, with doctors also putting her on a ventilator. Thankfully she woke up, with doctors later giving her a tracheotomy. Amy broke down over her recovery, adding: ‘She’s okay. She’s still alive. She has her life.’ The star spent three weeks in hospital before returning to the rehab centre to continue her weight loss efforts. According to Chris, she is already doing well with her transformation, and is already down 115lbs after spending a month at the facility. He proudly added: ‘I’m overjoyed that’s she’s ready to get on this train and start rolling down the tracks.’ 

Tom Parker, 33, called for his fans to “light a candle and say a prayer” for him on Wednesday. The Wanted singer explained to his 267,000 followers on Instagram how the date, 2nd February 2022, was “a powerful day to manifest” and heal. Tom – who was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2020 – went on to share an affirmation that included the line: “May my body return to health and completely free from dis-ease.” The dad-of-two uploaded a sweet snap of himself and wife Kelsey Hardwick to accompany the positive post on social media. “Calling all my amazing followers,” Tom began in the caption on Wednesday. “I would love for you all to get involved tonight and light a candle and say a prayer for me.” He continued: “It’s a new moon and supreme number 02.02.22 it’s a powerful day to manifest with the universe. “So let’s all heal together.” The Dead Pool favourite – who has a daughter Aurelia, two, and son Bodhi, 11 months – was initially told he had a grade four glioblastoma and was given a life expectancy of 12 to 18 months. Thankfully, after six rounds of chemotherapy and 30 radiotherapy sessions, the star’s condition has improved and he and his family have a positive outlook about things.  

A woman who made international headlines when she announced she was expecting octuplets has died aged 56 after developing cancer. Mandy Allwood first announced she was expecting eight children, aged 31, with her then partner Paul Hudson after taking fertility drugs in 1996. But the six boys and two girls, who were born over three days and three nights, tragically did not survive. First reported by The Scum, Ms Allwood will be laid to rest in a service funded by her local council, known as a pauper’s funeral, with no mourners present. Her friend Mark Beard, 58, said: “She had been struggling with cancer for a while and had an operation before Christmas but told us recently that it had come back. I don’t know what sort of cancer it was.” Mr Beard, the landlord of the Yard of Ale pub in Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, told the flying monkeys that Ms Allwood would pop in two times a week, and said she was “loved” by the locals. He said about a dozen of her friends would “raise a glass” in her memory after her family declined to attend her cremation. Her close family did not comment but confirmed to the monkeys that they would not be attending. Ms Allwood went on to have three other children but never recovered from the loss of her octo-babies. She would go on to appear on Oprah and have lunch with Princess Diana, and eventually sued disgraced publicist Max Clifford for secretly profiteering from her story. She struggled with depression, and she lost custody of her three surviving children and became estranged from her family. 

Musical theatre star Andrew Lloyd Webber said agony and lack of sleep had almost led to him overdosing on painkillers as he opened up about his health woes in his memoir Unmasked. The 73-year-old composer explained that his prostate cancer battle had left him impotent. Llyod Webber, who is best known for a number of musicals that include Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita, Starlight Express and The Phantom of the Opera, was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2009. Addressing the details of his health concerns, the composer spoke out in an unearthed admission. The dad-of-five said the treatment left him impotent before he was given the all-clear from the disease in 2010. According to the flying monkeys, in his memoir, Unmasked, Andrew said: “I did think of suicide. It was so painful and I couldn’t sleep. “You have all those ridiculous painkillers and none of them work and you just think, ‘I shall take the whole lot of them.’” However, his wife of 30 years, Madeleine Gurdon, provided a ray of light through dark times, however. “When I met Madeleine, it was almost like getting my life back; a door has been unlocked back into a world that I’d perhaps missed in the previous years – people outside the theatre. “There is a world outside the Tony Awards and I think that’s what Madeleine brings to me.”

On This Day

• 1843 – The first minstrel show in the United States, The Virginia Minstrels, opens (Bowery Amphitheatre in New York City). 
• 1918 – British women over the age of 30 who meet minimum property qualifications, get the right to vote when Representation of the People Act 1918 is passed by Parliament. 
• 1951 – The Broker, a Pennsylvania Railroad passenger train derails near Woodbridge Township, New Jersey. The accident kills 85 people and injures over 500 more. The wreck is one of the worst rail disasters in American history.  
• 1952 – Elizabeth II becomes Queen of the United Kingdom and her other Realms and Territories and Head of the Commonwealth upon the death of her father, George VI. At the exact moment of succession, she was in a tree house at the Treetops Hotel in Kenya.  
• 1958 – Eight Manchester United F.C. players and 15 other passengers are killed in the Munich air disaster.  
• 1959 – Jack Kilby of Texas Instruments files the first patent for an integrated circuit. 
• 1988 – Michael Jordan makes his signature slam dunk from the free throw line inspiring Air Jordan and the Jumpman logo.

Deaths

• 1685 – Charles II of England (b. 1630). 
• 1783 – Capability Brown, English gardener and architect (b. 1716). 
• 1865 – Isabella Beeton, Author of Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management (b. 1836). 
• 1918 – Gustav Klimt, Austrian painter and illustrator (b. 1862). 
• 1952 – George VI of the United Kingdom (b. 1895). 
• 1958 – Victims of the Munich air disaster. 
• 1986 – Dandy Nichols, English actress (b. 1907). 
• 1993 – Arthur Ashe, American tennis player and sportscaster (b. 1943). 
• 1994 – Jack Kirby, American author and illustrator (b. 1917). 
• 1998 – Falco, Austrian pop-rock musician (b. 1957). 
• 2011 – Gary Moore, Irish singer-songwriter, guitarist, and producer (b. 1952). 

Choo Choo! 

On February 6th 1951, a Pennsylvania Railroad train derailed on a temporary wooden trestle in Woodbridge, New Jersey, killing 85 passengers. It remains New Jersey’s deadliest train wreck, the deadliest U.S. derailment since 1918, and the deadliest peacetime rail disaster in the United States. 

At around 5 p.m Pennsylvania Railroad Train No. 733 left Exchange Place in Jersey City. An express train to Bay Head via the North Jersey Coast Line, No. 733 was crowded that day due to a labor strike on the nearby Jersey Central Railroad. It carried over 1,000 passengers in 11 cars drawn by PRR K4 4-6-2 steam locomotive No. 2445.

That afternoon, rail traffic through Woodbridge was being diverted onto a temporary wooden trestle and a shoofly near Fulton Street, allowing labourers building the New Jersey Turnpike to work on the main line. A notice had gone out to train engineers in late January: after 1:01 p.m. on February 6th, they were to proceed through Woodbridge not at the normal 60 mph but at 25 mph.

Before Train No. 733 left Jersey City, conductor John Bishop reminded engineer Joseph Fitzsimmons about the speed restriction. It was not the railroad’s practice to install warning lights in such cases, and Fitzsimmons failed to slow the train as it approached Woodbridge. Bishop, alarmed at the train’s speed, tried to pull the emergency cord, but the crush of passengers made it impossible.

The train was traveling faster than 50 mph when it reached the curve approaching the trestle, according to a subsequent inquiry. At 5:43 p.m., the tracks shifted under the massive locomotive, and eight of the train’s eleven passenger cars derailed. The first two cars fell on their sides. The third and fourth cars crashed into each other as they hurtled down a 26-foot-high embankment. It was in these two cars that most of the 85 deaths occurred. The fifth and sixth cars were left hanging in mid-air over a street that glistened from rain. Some passengers may have jumped to their deaths, believing they would land in water. The accident occurred in a heavily populated area, so help soon arrived. Neighbours opened their houses and businesses to those in need. The critically injured were taken to nearby hospitals.

Although Fitzsimmons initially claimed that he had been traveling at only 25 mph, the inquiry estimated that the train’s speed was between 50 and 60 mph. The report concluded that the wreck was caused by “excessive speed on a curve of a temporary track”. Fitzsimmons continued working for the railroad, but never operated a train again.

Near the derailment site, the victims are memorialised by a pair of historical markers, installed by New Jersey Transit in 2002 and by Woodbridge Township in 2013.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Alice Eve (40), Kevin Whately (71), Mike Farrell (83), Jennifer Jason Leigh (60), Michael Sheen (53), Charlotte Rampling (76), Christopher Guest (74), Tony Jaa (46), Cristiano Ronaldo (37), Gabrielle Anwar (52), Natalie Imbruglia (47), Alice Cooper (74), Jim Jefferies (45), Isla Fisher (46), Bridget Regan (40), Warwick Davis (52), Morgan Fairchild (72), Gemma Arterton (36), Brent Spiner (73), David Jason (82), Shakira (45), Michael C. Hall (51), Harry Styles (28), Sherilyn Fenn (57), Lisa Marie Presley (54), Minnie Driver (52), Jonathan Banks (75), Portia de Rossi (49), Justin Timberlake (41), and Dexter Fletcher (56).

Another week passes us by, a few more celebrities die. Maybe we should have got the supercentenarian, maybe we should have got Barry Cryer, but there’s no point crying over spilt milk. Onwards we go!  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Thierry Mugler, 73, French fashion designer.  
• Antônia da Santa Cruz, 116, Brazilian supercentenarian, last known surviving person born in 1905.  
• Gert Schutte, 82, Dutch politician, MP (1981–2001).  
• Ozzie, 60, African-born American western lowland gorilla, oldest male gorilla in captivity. 
• Barry Cryer, 86, English comedian (I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue) and screenwriter (Doctor in the House).  
• Morgan Stevens, 70, American actor (Fame, A Year in the Life, Melrose Place). (body discovered on this date) 
• Matthew Reeves, 44, American murderer, execution by lethal injection.  
• Jo Kendall, 83, British actress (Emmerdale), comedian (I’m Sorry, I’ll Read That Again) and writer. 
• Pete Smith, 63, New Zealand actor (The Quiet Earth, The Piano, Once Were Warriors), kidney disease.  

In Other News

Dame Judi Dench has revealed she suffered a fall at home which left her immobile for 30 minutes. The acting legend, 87, admitted that keeping her independence is becoming ‘very difficult’ as she grows older as she detailed her recent scare. Dame Judi, who is currently starring in Oscar-tipped film Belfast, revealed the frightening moment she tripped at home and was unable to get up, having to call out to her pet parrot for help as nobody was around. ‘I tripped over the carpet, and there was nobody in the house and I was lying on the ground unable to get up for half an hour,’ she said. Despite the distressing situation, Dame Judi kept her humour, as she recalled her pet parrot kept asking her: ‘What are you doing? What are you doing?’ ‘This is when you need a very convenient parrot who would phone somebody,’ she joked, ‘but she didn’t.’ The Belfast star lives alone, although her partner David Mills, 77, and daughter Finty Williams live nearby. Thankfully, the beloved actress recovered and was able to pull herself up after half an hour. Despite the scare, Dame Judi is adamant she is not willing to install a panic alarm in her home as she wants to keep her independence – but admits it is ‘very, very difficult’. The veteran actress has appeared in everything from the James Bond Franchise to heart-breaking biopic Philomena, but has recently admitted there are some roles she would be unable to take up at her age. Dame Judi last week appeared on The One Show alongside Belfast co-star Ciarán Hinds, where she was asked if she would consider taking on the role of Doctor Who. However, to fans’ disappointment, the actress admitted she ‘might have to pass on that one’. ‘I’d have to get someone to do the stunts for me, that wouldn’t be any good, would it! I’m not up to that, I’m afraid,’ she admitted. But while she might not be travelling through time and space in the Tardis any time soon, Dame Judi has proved time and again that she’s still young at heart – having made multiple viral appearances with her grandson, Sam, on TikTok, which is more than your friendly Dead Pool Master can do, even with the help of the flying monkeys!  

If, like me, you feel that the human race needs a bit of a cull, thankfully Putin is of the same mind, you might want to listen to Uri Geller. The self-proclaimed psychic has urged NASA to prepare for a mass alien landing on Earth!!! Earlier in the week, scientists spotted an extraordinary object blasting giant bursts of energy in a way they have never seen before. Natasha Hurley-Walker, from the International Centre for Radio Astronomy Research, called the “mystery” object “completely unexpected.” “It was kind of spooky for an astronomer because there’s nothing known in the sky that does that,” she said, adding: “It’s really quite close to us — about 4,000 light years away. It’s in our galactic backyard.’’ Astronomers theorised that it could have been the remnant of a massive star that had exploded. But now, legendary spoon bender Geller has offered his ideology that an imminent alien invasion is near. Taking to Instagram, the illusionist said: “A team mapping radio waves in the universe has discovered something unusual that releases a giant burst of energy three times an hour and it’s unlike anything astronomers have seen before. No doubt in my mind that this is connected to alien intelligence way way superior than ours. Start deciphering their messages! They are preparing us for a mass landing soon! The characteristics of the mystery object seemed to have matched something known as an ultra-long period magnetar. Such object has never been seen before. “It’s a type of slowly spinning neutron star that has been predicted to exist theoretically,” Dr Hurley-Walker explained. “But nobody expected to directly detect one like this because we didn’t expect them to be so bright. Somehow it’s converting magnetic energy to radio waves much more effectively than anything we’ve seen before.” But, if you believe what Uri Geller says, we better get ready for a points windfall, as everyone is going to die!!!! 

Only Fools and Horses actor Patrick Murray, who is best known for playing Mickey Pearce, revealed he was told he wouldn’t make it to Christmas after  being diagnosed with cancer. The 65-year-old shared news of his devastating illness earlier this week. Patrick explained the first primary diagnosis was “actually a lot worse than what it was, it showed up a lot of red flags that I had a tumour on my liver and three metastatics – which is cancer of the blood. “I was told it looks like I wouldn’t make Christmas, but the PET scan did show there was a tumour in my lung so I had that removed in October. They caught it early and right now I’m on chemo to make sure it doesn’t come back. If I left it a couple of months later, I could have been in real trouble. I probably wouldn’t be here now.” After opening up about his illness this week, Patrick tweeted: “Naturally I wanted to keep my own health problems private, but failing to fully endorse this ad would be selfish. Thanks to my ultra-scan I have a fighting chance. It showed my organs needed further investigation and tumours were spotted. This led to a PET scan which covers a much larger area. To my wonderful surprise these lesions were not cancerous but the scan did find an early-stage cancerous tumour in my lung. This has since been removed.” The star concluded: “A lot of people put these symptoms down to age and the discomfort to simply having a weak stomach. Please don’t ignore it if it persists. As for me, and thanks to the NHS, I can now see the same beautiful horizon as you.” Patrick appeared in a total of 20 episodes of Only Fool And Horses.  Since the show finished in 2003, Patrick has landed roles in big-screen productions, including The Firm and Curse Of The Pink Panther. After a couple more years of acting, Patrick eventually retired and became a taxi driver in Kent.

On This Day

• 1607 – An estimated 200 square miles along the coasts of the Bristol Channel and Severn Estuary in England are destroyed by massive flooding, resulting in an estimated 2,000 deaths.
• 1649 – Charles I of England is executed in Whitehall, London.
• 1661 – Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England, is ritually executed more than two years after his death, on the 12th anniversary of the execution of the monarch he himself deposed.
• 1835 – In the first assassination attempt against a President of the United States, Richard Lawrence attempts to shoot president Andrew Jackson, but fails and is subdued by a crowd, including several congressmen as well as Jackson himself.
• 1945 – World War II: The Wilhelm Gustloff, overfilled with German refugees, sinks in the Baltic Sea after being torpedoed by a Soviet submarine, killing approximately 9,500 people.
• 1969 – The Beatles’ last public performance, on the roof of Apple Records in London. The impromptu concert is broken up by the police.
• 1972 – The Troubles: Bloody Sunday: British paratroopers open fire on anti-internment marchers in Derry, Northern Ireland, killing 13 people; another person later dies of injuries sustained.
• 1982 – Richard Skrenta writes the first PC virus code, which is 400 lines long and disguised as an Apple boot program called “Elk Cloner”.

Deaths

• 1649 – Charles I of England, Scotland, and Ireland (b. 1600).
• 1948 – Mahatma Gandhi, leader of the Indian independence movement (b. 1869).
• 1948 – Orville Wright, American pilot, co-founded the Wright Company (b. 1871).
• 1951 – Ferdinand Porsche, Austrian-German engineer, founded Porsche (b. 1875).
• 2019 – Dick Miller, American actor (b. 1928).

Last Meals

Matthew Reeves was an American man convicted of capital murder in Alabama and sentenced to death row. His case and execution generated controversy due to claims he was intellectually disabled and therefore ineligible for execution With an IQ score in the 60’s, he certainly wasn’t the smartest bee in the hive. 

On November 27th 1996, Reeves and his friends planned to rob a drug dealer. Reeves’ car broke down in Selma, Alabama, and Willie Johnson Jr., who had a pickup truck, offered to tow their car to Reeves’ house. Reeves rode in the bed of the truck, but when they arrived at the house, Reeves stuck a shotgun through the cab window and shot Johnson and stole his money. At a party that evening, Reeves “pretended to pump a shotgun and jerk his body around mocking the way Johnson had died.” Johnson’s body was found inside his truck on Thanksgiving morning.

Reeves was arrested at a house a few hours after the murder. Two accomplices also involved in the crime, one of whom was his brother, were arrested a few days later. Both accomplices pointed the finger at Reeves and claimed he had been the shooter. 

Reeves was sentenced to death on July 20th 1998. Reeves’ brother and co-defendant, Julius Reeves, was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. A third defendant, Brenda Scuttles, was also sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole.

Reeves’ lawyers argued that his trial lawyers provided ineffective assistance of counsel and “should have done more to try to show he is intellectually disabled.”. They claimed that because of this Reeves should not face the death sentence. On July 2nd 2021, the United States Supreme Court overturned the Eleventh U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decision that had vacated Reeves’ death sentence. The court decided in a 6–3 opinion, with the conservative majority reversing the circuit court. The Supreme Court stated that the Alabama state court had “correctly rejected claims that Matthew Reeves had ineffective counsel at trial because they did not hire a neuropsychologist to present evidence he is intellectually disabled.” 

Days before his execution, Reeves wrote a poem that hinted towards his thinking before his death. In his poem, shared on Twitter by Lee Hedgepeth, a digital reporter, Reeves continued, “Generations of a lot of sons of mothers, struggling will be victims of murders, fighting day by day to never be the victim to this killing machine. U want me dead but don’t know why, my color, my past, someone word, can u picture me being innocent, or did you just stereotype me,” before he concluded: “This system is not full proof, just think if you on protect the project houses, trailor park, shot gun houses, and brick houses, u too will be defending ur self, one day can equate to a sentence of eternal sleep.” 

Reeves’ lawyers had earlier argued that he’s intellectually disabled and the state should have made him understand the execution methods as well as help him in choosing a new execution method involving nitrogen. But when prosecution and defense experts carried a test on Reeves for intellectual disability, they reportedly found his IQ in the high 60s or low 70s. Last month, a federal court stated that state officials were “on notice that Reeves had IQ scores in the high 60s or low 70s, subaverage intellectual functioning, and had been found to be functionally illiterate…” 

A lot of people reacted online after his execution and also after the release of his poem. A user tweeted, “I thought he couldn’t read or write or understand anything. That’s the argument why he shouldn’t be accountable for robbery and murder, right?” The second one said, “Again can’t be a simpleton if he can write poetry.” “Matthew Reeves shot a man in the neck for $360 in cold  blood and then celebrated what he had done at a party the same night while still covered in his victim’s blood,” the third user added. 

Reeves was executed by lethal injection on January 27th 2022, at the age of 44. He refused a last meal and was pronounced dead at 9:24 p.m. and had no last words. Some of Johnson’s family members attended the execution and released a statement that said “After 26 years justice has finally been served. Our family can now have some closure.”

Last Week’s Birthdays

Olivia Colman (48), Christian Bale (48), Gene Hackman (92), Vanessa Redgrave (85), Phil Collins (71), Heather Graham (52), Katharine Ross (82), Tom Selleck (77), Marc Singer (74), Oprah Winfrey (68 ), Adam Lambert (40), Will Poulter (29), Tom Hopper (37), Ariel Winter (24), Elijah Wood (41), Alan Alda (86), Frank Darabont (63), Patton Oswalt (53), James Cromwell (82), Bridget Fonda (58), Alan Cumming (57), Frank Miller (65), Scott Glenn (83), Deep Roy (73), Ellen DeGeneres (64), Matthew Lillard (52), Kristen Schaal (44), Mischa Barton (36), Nastassja Kinski (61), Tatyana Ali (43), Adrian Edmondson (65), and Neil Diamond (81).

A week to be glad that you’re not a hamster in Hong Kong, and to be fair, a year in which we all should have guessed Meat Loaf. He wasn’t the fittest fiddle in the orchestra and he had a dubious medical history. But as always, we almost never list people we like. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Yvette Mimieux, 80, American actress (The Time Machine, The Black Hole).  
• Thelma Sutcliffe, 115, American supercentenarian, oldest person in the United States. 
• Saturnino de la Fuente García, 112, Spanish supercentenarian, oldest man in the world. 
• Hardy Krüger, 93, German actor (Barry Lyndon, A Bridge Too Far, The Wild Geese).  
• Gaspard Ulliel, 37, French actor (Hannibal Rising, Saint Laurent, It’s Only the End of the World), César winner, skiing accident. 
• Russell Bishop, 55, English convicted murderer and child molester (Babes in the Woods murders), brain cancer.
• Meat Loaf, 74, American singer (“Paradise by the Dashboard Light“, “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)“) and actor (The Rocky Horror Picture Show).  
• Louie Anderson, 68, American comedian, actor (Life with Louie, Baskets, Coming to America), and game show host (Family Feud), large B-cell lymphoma.  
• André Leon Talley, 73, American fashion journalist (Vogue).

In Other News

Police are investigating reports a man’s body was brought into a post office before an attempt was made to claim his pension. According to local reports, a man entered a post office in County Carlow on Friday morning and tried to collect a pension on behalf of another man. After being told the man would have to be present for pension payment to be claimed, he reportedly left and two people later returned with a man in his 60s, who appeared to be propped up. The Flying Monkeys reports the body of the man was left at the scene after the two men fled when a woman reported suspicions. Carlow mayor Ken Murnane said the local community is absolutely shocked by the reports. “The whole town is in shock that anyone could actually think of doing something like that, it’s unbelievable,” he said. “It’s just mind-boggling that anyone could happen to do something like that, it beggars belief. It’s like a Hitchcock movie.” A Garda spokesperson said officers are investigating all the circumstances surrounding the unexplained death of a man in the Carlow area on Friday morning. “The services of the Garda Technical Bureau and the Office of the State Pathologist have been requested,” they said. “A post-mortem will be conducted by the Office of the State Pathologist, the results of which will determine the  course of the investigation. “No further information is available at this time.”    

Arnold Schwarzenegger has reportedly been involved in a “multi-car” accident which saw his vehicle flip onto the top of another car. According to a reports by The Flying Monkeys, another driver, a woman, was “badly injured” in the crash, and is currently being treated in hospital. The incident occurred on Friday afternoon (21st January) in Los Angeles, around a mile from the Terminator star’s home. Schwarzenegger’s car, a Yukon SUV, collided with a red Prius at roughly 5pm local time. The vehicle then began to roll onto the top of the Prius, and continued to roll onto another car, a Porsche Cayenne. It is said that Schwarzenegger is “deeply concerned about the injured woman” and “wants to personally check up on her”, after she was seen bleeding heavily from her head. “There was a collision about 4.35pm on Sunset and Allenford Avenue,” a spokesperson for the LAPD confirmed to PA. “It was a four vehicle traffic collision and fire departments and paramedics transported one female to a local hospital with an abrasion to her head. Neither alcohol nor drugs are suspected as a factor in this and all parties remained at the scene.” A full investigation into the incident is being conducted by authorities.    

A folk singer from the Czech Republic has died after deliberately catching Covid, her son has told The Flying Monkeys. Hana Horka, 57, was unvaccinated and had posted on social media that she was recovering after testing positive, but died two days later. Her son, Jan Rek, said she got infected on purpose when he and his father had the virus, so she could get a recovery pass to access certain venues. The Czech Republic reported a record number of Covid-19 cases on Wednesday. Mr Rek and his father, who are both fully vaccinated, both caught Covid over Christmas. But he said his mother had decided not to stay away from them, preferring instead to expose herself to the virus. “She should have isolated for a week because we tested positive. But she was with us the whole time,” he said. Proof of vaccination or recent infection from the virus is required in the Czech Republic to gain entry to many social and cultural venues, including cinemas, bars and cafes. His mother was a member of one of the oldest Czech folk groups, Asonance. She had wanted to catch Covid so there would be fewer restrictions on her movement, Mr Rek explained. Two days before she died, she wrote on social media that she was recovering: “Now there will be theatre, sauna, a concert”. On Sunday morning, the day she died, Ms Horka said she was feeling better and dressed to go for a walk. But then her back started hurting, so she went to lie down in her bedroom. “In about 10 minutes it was all over,” her son said. “She choked to death”. Although she was unvaccinated, Jan Rek stressed that his mother did not believe in some of the more bizarre conspiracy theories about Covid vaccines. “Her philosophy was that she was more OK with the idea of catching Covid than getting vaccinated. Not that we would get microchipped or anything like that,” he said. There was no point in trying to discuss the issue with her as it would just get too emotional, he added. Instead, he hoped that by telling his story he could convince others to get vaccinated. “If you have living examples from real life, it’s more powerful than just graphs  and numbers. You can’t really sympathise with numbers.”

You’ll all be glad to hear that the Brighton cat killer who terrorised cats and pet owners during his deadly rampage has died behind bars. Security guard Steve Bouquet was jailed after claiming the lives of nine cats and wounding seven. The former Royal Navy gunner carried out his bloody spree in the East Sussex city between October 2018 and May 2019. He was finally brought to justice after being caught on CCTV set up by the owner of a dead moggy. On Tuesday, the Prison Service confirmed that he had died at hospital on January 6th. At his sentencing hearing the court was told Bouquet had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer, which had spread to his liver and lungs. The pet killer was jailed for five years and three months at Hove Crown Court last July after being found guilty of 16 offences of criminal damage in relation to the cats, as well as possession of a knife. During his trial, jurors heard accounts from several cat owners who had found their pets bleeding on their doorsteps. Nine cats – Hendrix, Tommy, Hannah, Alan, Nancy, Gizmo, Kyo, Ollie and Cosmo – were killed, while another seven were injured. Emma O’Sullivan, owner of Gizmo, wept as she told the court: “I miss Gizmo every day. After it happened it could not sleep. I spent many months in therapy working through what had happened.” Katerine Mattock, who lived with Alan the cat, said: “This was a murder of an innocent and much-loved cat called Alan. Alan was my family. He made my house a home. One minute he was running round the kitchen then next he was dead, covered in blood. Sentencing Bouquet, Judge Jeremy Gold QC said his behaviour was “cruel, it was sustained and it struck at the very heart of family life”. He added: “It is important that everyone understands that cats are domestic pets but they are more than that. They are effectively family members. They are much loved by the adults and children who live with and care for them. Cats and all domestic animals are a source of joy and support to their owners, especially during lockdown.” Bouquet served in the Royal Navy for 22 years, including in Northern Ireland and Iraq.  

Singer and actor Hazel O’Connor is recovering after a “serious medical event”, her family have said. The 66-year-old, who rose to fame as a pop star in the Eighties  after appearing in the film Breaking Glass, was found at her home in southern France on Sunday 9th January. After being rushed to hospital, she was found to have suffered a bleed on the brain and was placed in an induced coma for 24 hours while receiving treatment, according to a blog post by her brother, Neil O’Connor. He said that the artist has been showing “a lot of progress” since being taken out of the coma on Monday 17th January, and while her recovery would take time, “she is tough and is responding to stimuli and treatment”. “She’s receiving the best of care and I thank the French medical service there for taking such good care of her,” he wrote. “She’s going to need patience from us and from herself, I’ve already learned that she’s started to show her usual feistiness.” 1O’Connor was due to tour the UK from March this year. Her brother said an announcement will soon be made by her management regarding the shows.

On This Day

• 1556 – The deadliest earthquake in history, the Shaanxi earthquake, hits Shaanxi province, China. The death toll may have been as high as 830,000.
• 1849 – Elizabeth Blackwell is awarded her M.D. by the Geneva Medical College of Geneva, New York, becoming the United States’ first female doctor.
• 1957 – American inventor Walter Frederick Morrison sells the rights to his flying disc to the Wham-O toy company, which later renames it the “Frisbee”.
• 2020 – The World Health Organisation declares the COVID-19 pandemic to be a Public Health Emergency of International Concern.

Deaths

• 1803 – Arthur Guinness, Irish brewer, founded Guinness (b. 1725).
• 1806 – William Pitt the Younger, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1759).
• 1944 – Edvard Munch, Norwegian painter and illustrator (b. 1863).
• 1989 – Salvador Dalí, Spanish painter and sculptor (b. 1904).
• 1999 – Joe D’Amato, Italian director and cinematographer (b. 1936).
• 2005 – Johnny Carson, American talk show host, and producer (b. 1925).
• 2017 – Gorden Kaye, English actor (b. 1941).
• 2021 – Larry King, American journalist and talk show host (b. 1933).

Last Meals

Douglas Franklin Wright was an American serial  killer who murdered at least seven people between 1969 and 1991. He was sentenced to death for three of these murders and was executed in 1996 at the Oregon State Penitentiary, becoming the first person to be executed in Oregon since 1962. He was also the first person executed in Oregon by lethal injection.  

Wright was born on March 25th 1940, in Spirit Lake, Iowa. His father was an alcoholic and his mother neglected him. According to psychological reports, Wright endured repeated physical and sexual abuse as a child. He became a high school dropout and was kicked out of the Marines for sexually assaulting a 5-year-old boy in California. Wright admitted to a probation officer that he had sexually assaulted more than 70 young boys. In the early 1960s, Wright was arrested for multiple burglaries and was sentenced to eight years in prison.    

In September 1969, Wright broke into the home of 71-year-old Margaret Rosenberry, and her granddaughter, 27-year-old Gail Snelling, in Portland, Oregon. Wright was a friend of the family and was known to them. Upon entering the home, Wright murdered both Rosenberry and Snelling with a pistol. He killed Snelling via two fatal gunshot wounds to the head and fatally shot Rosenberry three times in the head. He then abducted Snelling’s 5-year-old son, taking him to several motels in the area where he sexually molested him. Wright eventually let the boy go and abandoned him. Police launched a manhunt for Wright who evaded them for over a month. He was eventually captured after he shot and wounded a man at a billiards hall in Banks, Oregon. Wright was found guilty of the murders of Rosenberry and Snelling and was sentenced to thirty-five years in prison. When asked why he killed them, Wright said he had always wanted a son of his own. 

Wright was paroled in 1982 as he was considered a model prisoner. However, upon his release, he returned to his life of crime and committed several armed robberies, threatening to kill anyone who got in his way. On May 23rd 1984, Wright abducted 10-year-old Luke Tredway from Portland. He grabbed Tredway off the streets as he walked home from a friend’s house. He then drove Tredway back to his apartment and molested him for the next thirty-six hours. He murdered Tredway at dawn on May 25th, fatally shooting him six times. Wright then disposed of the body and the case went unsolved for over twelve years. Wright was later arrested in 1984 for the armed robberies and was sentenced to thirty years in prison. However, he was released early once again in June 1991, and served less than seven years of his thirty year sentence.   

In October 1991, Wright advertised work to homeless men in Portland, offering them ten dollars an hour to clear brush at a youth camp. On October 20th, two homeless men, 26-year-old Randy Scott Henry and 31-year-old Anthony Shawn “Tony” Nelson, accepted Wright’s offer for work. Wright drove them out of Portland to a remote area on the Warm Springs Indian Reservation and bought them food. He then drove to the desert and offered them alcohol. As the men drank the alcohol, Wright fatally shot Nelson in the head with a pistol. Henry jumped out the car and escaped while dodging bullets fired at him by Wright. He managed to get to the highway and returned to Portland where he alerted the authorities. With the help of another witness, they led the police straight to Wright, and he was apprehended.

It was then learned that Wright had killed three more people in a similar fashion to Nelson. The victims were identified as 27-year-old Anthony Barker, 23-year-old William Marks, and 37-year-old William Davis, all murdered in October 1991. All three victims were homeless men whom Wright had lured to a remote area of Wasco County on the Warm Springs Indian Reservation with a false promise of work. He then murdered each of them by fatally shooting them in the head with a pistol. He would later be convicted in Wasco County of these murders.   

 In total, Wright was convicted of five murders, but was linked to seven. He reportedly also hinted at additional killings in other states prior to his execution, but he was only ever confirmed to have killed seven people.   

Wright was convicted of the murders of Barker, Marks, and Davis. He was also indicted in the murder of Nelson in a federal court. Because Nelson was a Makah Indian, Wright was never officially charged with his murder, as he would have to be tried in a federal court based on the law. If Wright had not quit his appeals process, he would have been tried before a federal court in the Nelson case, because killing a Native American on an Indian reservation is a federal crime, under the Major Crimes Act. 

On June 25th 1993, Wright was convicted of aggravated murder for the three killings. On October 11th 1993, he was sentenced to death for the murders of Barker, Marks, and Davis. After being sentenced, Wright waived his appeals and asked to be executed, speeding up his execution.

Shortly before his execution Wright sent a letter to The Oregonian in which he confessed to the abduction, molestation, and murder of Luke Tredway back in 1984, which was still unsolved by 1996. Wright claimed he confessed to the murder because he wanted to do one good thing before he died. He also invited Tredway’s family to attend his execution but they declined. Wright asked for one honey bun as his last meal, which was granted. 

He was executed by lethal injection on September 6th 1996. It was the first execution in Oregon in thirty-four years and the state’s first post-Gregg execution. Wright remains the first of only two people to be executed in Oregon since the resumption of the death penalty.  The other was convicted murderer Harry Charles Moore in 1997. Both waived their appeals and asked that the execution be carried out. Wright was executed on the same day as Michael Torrence, another serial killer who was executed in South Carolina.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Gil Gerard (79), Olivia d’Abo (53), Linda Blair (63), Piper Laurie (90), Geena Davis (66), Martin Shaw (77), Emma Bunton (46), Rainn Wilson (56), David Lynch (76), Tom Baker (88), Will Young (43), Elizabeth Tulloch (41), Katey Sagal (68), Rob Delaney (45), Dolly Parton (76), Tippi Hedren (92), Michael Crawford (80), Pasha Kovalev (42), Mark Rylance (62), Kevin Costner (67), Dave Bautista (53), Jason Segel (42), Jane Horrocks (58), Jim Carrey (60), Zooey Deschanel (42), Kelly Marie Tran (33), James Earl Jones (91), and Jake Paul (25).

The big news this week is the passing of Marlon Bundo, or BOTUS,  the bunny that ran America behind the scenes whilst Trump and Pence made a fuck up of everything. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Michael Lang, 77, American concert producer, co-creator of Woodstock, non-Hodgkin lymphoma.  
• Bob Saget, 65, American comedian, television presenter (America’s Funniest Home Videos) and actor (Full House, How I Met Your Mother).  
• Nicholas Donnelly, 83, British actor (Grange Hill, Dixon of Dock Green, Lifeforce).  
• Gary Waldhorn, 78, English actor (The Vicar of Dibley, Brush Strokes, All at No 20).  
• Robert Durst, 78, American real estate executive and convicted murderer, subject of The Jinx, cardiac arrest.  
• Ronnie Spector, 78, American singer (The Ronettes), cancer.  
• John Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury of Preston Candover, 94, British businessman and politician, chairman of Sainsbury’s and member of the House of Lords. 
• Marlon Bundo, 8–9, American rabbit and book subject (A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo, Marlon Bundo’s A Day in the Life of the Vice President). 

In Other News

Jenna Jameson has been diagnosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome, leaving her in the hospital and unable to walk. The former adult film star shared her diagnosis on Instagram. “I’m dealing with a little syndrome called Guillain-Barré Syndrome, so I’m working through that,” she said in a video. “And I just wanted to let you know that I see all your DMs and I appreciate it so much. “The doctors suspect Guillain-Barré syndrome and have started my IVIG treatment. I am in the hospital and will likely remain here until treatment is complete. I hope to be out of here soon,” she wrote in the caption. Jameson also shut down any speculation of the Covid-19 vaccine contributing to her health issues. She wrote, “PS I did NOT get the jab or any jab. This is NOT a reaction to the jab. Thank you for your concern.” Over the weekend, Jameson’s partner, Lior Bitton, with who she shares 4-year-old daughter Batel Lu, took to Instagram to reveal that she was in the hospital undergoing tests after “not feeling so good.” Bitton additionally shared that Jameson had been throwing up for two weeks prior to going to the hospital last week, only to be sent home after. “Then she came back home and she couldn’t carry herself,” Bitton said in the video. “Her muscles in her legs were very weak. So she wasn’t able to walk to the bathroom. She was falling on the way back or to the bathroom, I would have to pick her up and carry her to bed. And then within two days, it got really not so good, her legs started to not hold her, she wasn’t able to walk.” Guillain-Barré syndrome is defined by the CDC as a “rare, autoimmune disorder in which a person’s own immune system damages the nerves, causing  muscle weakness and sometimes paralysis.” Symptoms can last from weeks to several years. 

Sir David Attenborough was left injured after being stabbed by a cactus with needles like “glass” while on the set of his new documentary. The 95-year-old broadcaster was filming for the BBC series The Green Planet when he faced off against the cholla cactus in California. Describing the rare plant as an “active aggressor” coated in “spicules of glass”, Sir David approached the cactus and put his hand inside the plant. Despite the layers of protection provided by thick gloves, he was left with a “painful” hand injury. Recounting the experience, he said: “The cholla really is a physical danger. It has these very dense spines in rosettes, so they point in all directions. “And if you just brush against it, the spines are like spicules of glass, I mean they are that sharp and they go into you and you really have trouble getting them out. So that is a really dangerous plant. The cholla is an active aggressor. I mean, you feel you better stand back and you better watch out.” The series’ executive producer, Michael Gunton, whose idea it was to send Sir David into danger, said: “One of the joys of going on location is thinking up horrible things to get David to do. So what we did, because it was so dangerous, was we got a Kevlar under-glove, and then on top of that, a welding glove. So you can imagine that’s about as good protection as you could possibly get. David bravely put his hand inside this cholla cactus, as requested. And halfway through it, these spikes still managed to get through those two bits of protection. And it’s quite painful, isn’t it?” Mr Gunton observed how the cactus was “so dangerous” that many animals avoided it. “Not only does it puncture you, but they sort of act like a trap,” he said. “So if you put your hand into it, you can’t remove your fingers and you do unfortunately find grisly signs of an animal that has gone and got trapped by it.” The upcoming three-part series from the BBC’s Natural History Unit shows the naturalist getting up and close with a range of plants from the US to Costa Rica and across Europe, to show the intricate lives of plants and the ecosystems that flourish around them. The documentary was filmed in 26 countries over four years and marks the first time he has returned to the filming the world of plants in 27 years, since his 1995 series the Private Life of Plants. According to the BBC, The Green Planet aims to show “how science and technologies have advanced, and how our understanding of the ways in which plants behave and interact has evolved”. 

Sinéad O’Connor has been admitted to  the hospital, one week after her 17-year-old son was found dead. The “Nothing Compares 2 U” singer told fans on Thursday night that she was heading to hospital to receive help after sharing in a series of disturbing Twitter posts that she planned to take her own life. “I’ve decided to follow my son. There is no point living without him. Everything I touch, I ruin. I only stayed for him. And now he’s gone,” she wrote on an unverified Twitter account linked to her official account. O’Connor, who has been open about her own mental struggles and suicidal thoughts in the past, went on to say she felt “lost,” and blamed herself for her teenage son’s death. The mother-of-four followed the thread an hour later by apologising for her alarming posts and reassuring fans that she was seeking medical attention. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I am with cops now on way to hospital. I’m sorry I upset everyone,” she posted, adding: “I am lost without my kid and I hate myself. Hospital will help a while. But I’m going to find Shane. This is just a delay.” O’Connor’s representatives declined to comment on the matter to the flying monkeys. Shane O’Connor’s body was discovered on January 7th, two days after he went missing, the singer’s management company confirmed to the flying monkeys on Saturday. O’Connor announced his death on Twitter, saying her “beautiful” son “decided to end his earthly struggle.” “Nevi’im Nesta Ali Shane O’Connor, the very light of my life, decided to end his earthly struggle today and is now with God,” she wrote. “May he rest in peace and may no one follow his example. My baby. I love you so much. Please be at peace.” 

• Insincere disclaimer in case you feel suicidal, go find someone who gives a shit, life is hard, toughen up. Try The Samaritans or some other do-gooders, there are phone numbers you can find somewhere or other. Otherwise, try to do it quietly and don’t leave a mess for others to clean up. 

On This Day

• 1362 – Saint Marcellus’s flood kills at least 25,000 people on the shores of the North Sea.
• 1862 – Hartley Colliery disaster: Two hundred and four men and boys killed in a mining disaster, prompting a change in UK law which henceforth required all collieries to have at least two independent means of escape.
• 1945 – Adolf Hitler moves into his underground bunker, the so-called Führerbunker, it doesn’t end well for him.
• 2003 – The Space Shuttle Columbia takes off for mission STS-107 which would be its final one. Columbia disintegrated 16 days later on re-entry.

Deaths

• 1936 – Albert Fish, American serial killer, rapist and cannibal (b. 1870)
• 2020 – Christopher Tolkien, British academic and editor (b. 1924)
• 2021 – Phil Spector, American record producer, songwriter (b. 1939)

Last Meals 

Wanda Jean Allen was sentenced to death in 1989 for the murder of Gloria Jean Leathers, 29, her longtime girlfriend. Allen was the first black woman to be executed in the United States since 1954. She was the sixth woman to be executed since executions resumed in the United States of America in 1977. Her final appeals and the last three months of her life were chronicled by filmmaker Liz Garbus in the documentary The Execution of Wanda Jean (2002). 

Wanda Jean Allen was born on August 17th, 1959, the second of eight children. Her mother was an alcoholic; her father left home after Wanda’s last sibling was born and the family lived in public housing and scraped by on public assistance. 

At the age of 12, Allen was hit by a truck and knocked unconscious, and at 14 or 15 she was stabbed in the left temple. It was found that Allen’s actual abilities were markedly impaired and that her IQ was 69. Found particularly significant was that the left hemisphere of her brain was dysfunctional, impairing her comprehension, her ability to logically express herself, and her ability to analyse cause and effect relationships. It was also concluded that Allen was more chronically vulnerable than others to becoming disorganised by everyday stresses, and thus more vulnerable to a loss of control under stress. By age 17, she had dropped out of high school. 

In 1981, Allen was sharing an apartment with Dedra Pettus, a childhood friend-turned-girlfriend. On June 29th, 1981, they got into an argument, and Allen shot and killed Pettus. In her 1981 confession, Allen stated that she accidentally shot Pettus from roughly 30 feet away while returning fire from Pettus’ boyfriend. However, the forensic evidence was inconsistent with Allen’s story; in particular, a police expert believed that bruises and powder burns on Pettus’ body indicated that Allen had pistol-whipped her, then shot her at point-blank range. Nevertheless, prosecutors cut a deal with Allen, and she received a four-year sentence in exchange for a guilty plea to a manslaughter charge. She served two years of the sentence. 

Seven years after the death of Dedra Pettus, Allen was living with her girlfriend Gloria Jean Leathers. The two met in prison and had a turbulent and violent relationship. On December 2nd, 1988, Leathers, 29, was shot in front of The Village Police Department in Oklahoma City. Fifteen minutes before the shooting, the two women were involved in a dispute at a grocery store. A city officer escorted the two women to their house and stood by while Leathers collected her belongings. Leathers and her mother were on their way to file a complaint against Allen. When Leathers exited the car, Allen fired one shot, severely wounding Leathers in the abdomen. Leathers’ mother witnessed the shooting. Two police officers and a dispatcher heard the shot fired, but no police department employee witnessed the shooting. The police recovered a .38-caliber handgun they believe was used in the shooting near the women’s home. Leathers died from the injury three days later, on December 5th, 1988. 

Allen spent 12 years on death row. Her application for clemency was denied.

While in prison, she became a born-again Christian. The Reverend Robin Meyers, who served as a spiritual adviser to Allen, is quoted as saying: 

“I always suspected that Wanda’s renunciation of lesbianism had more to do with helping to revamp herself in the most palatable way for her clemency and appeal processes. She knew perfectly well that her being a lesbian was a big strike against her and that it’s an  embarrassment in the black community. She was going to play the best hand that she could play at the very end.” 

Allen enjoyed a bag of crisps prior to her execution by lethal injection on Thursday, January 11th, 2001 at Oklahoma State Penitentiary in McAlester. Twenty-four relatives of murder victim Gloria Leathers and manslaughter victim Dedra Pettus traveled there for the execution. Many of them watched the execution from behind a tinted window. While lying on the execution gurney, Allen said, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” She also stuck her tongue out and smiled at her appeal lawyer, Steve Presson, who had become her friend. He says she was “dancing on the mattress, while they tried to kill her.” She was pronounced dead at 9:21 p.m. Relatives of Leathers expressed the execution gave them “closure”. She was buried at Trice Hill Cemetery in Oklahoma City.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Lin-Manuel Miranda (42), John Carpenter (74), Caroline Munro (73), Eva Habermann (46), Kate Moss (48), James May (59), Sade (63), James Nesbitt (57), Claudia Winkleman (50), DJ Jazzy Jeff (57), Jason Bateman (52), Kevin Durand (48), Faye Dunaway (81), Carl Weathers (74), Grant Gustin (32), Mark Addy (58), LL Cool J (54), Dave Grohl (53), Orlando Bloom (45), Ruth Wilson (40), Liam Hemsworth (32), Michael Peña (46), Bill Bailey (57), Kirstie Alley (71), Rob Zombie (57), Howard Stern (68), Jeff Bezos (58), Jason Connery (59), Mary J. Blige (51), Rachel Riley (36), Jemaine Clement (48), Evan Handler (61), and Rod Stewart (77).