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Dead Pool 19th February 2023

This week sees the passing of the great Raquel Welch, obviously well liked as nobody listed her. Nil points all round! Let’s get on with it! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Former US president Jimmy Carter will “spend his remaining time at home” receiving hospice care, it has been announced. The 98-year-old, who was president for one term between 1977 and 1981, made the decision after a series of hospital stays, the Carter Center announced on Saturday. “After a series of short hospital stays, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter today decided to spend his remaining time at home with his family and receive hospice care instead of additional medical intervention,” the Carter Center said in a statement. “He has the full support of his family and his medical team. The Carter family asks for privacy during this time and is grateful for the concern shown by his many admirers.” Mr Carter, a Democrat, became the 39th US president when he defeated former president Gerald Ford in 1976. He served a single term and was defeated by Republican Ronald Reagan in 1980. He is the oldest living former president in US history and still lives in a modest home in rural Plains, Georgia, a two-and-a-half hour drive south of Atlanta. Mr Carter had a small cancerous mass removed from his liver in 2015. And in 2016, he announced that he would need no further treatment as his cancer had been eliminated by an experimental drug. The other living former presidents are Donald Trump, 76; Barack Obama, 61; George W Bush, 76; Bill Clinton, 76. Mr Carter’s grandson, former Georgia state senator Jason Carter, took to Twitter to say that his grandparents were “at peace.” “I saw both of my grandparents yesterday. They are at peace and—as always—their home is full of love. Thank you all for your kind words,” he tweeted. The former president, a lifelong Baptist, told a church Sunday school congregation in 2019 that he was “at ease with death” following his cancer diagnosis.  “I, obviously, prayed about it. I didn’t ask God to let me live, but I just asked God to give me a proper attitude toward death. And I found that I was absolutely and completely at ease with death, it didn’t really matter to me whether I died or lived. I have, since that time, been absolutely confident that my Christian faith includes complete confidence in life after death. So, I’m going to live again after I die — Don’t know what form I’ll take, or anything.” 

Comedian Rhod Gilbert said he is “coming back” to his former self after undergoing treatment for head and neck cancer. He announced in July that he had stage four cancer and was being treated at the Velindre Cancer Centre in Cardiff, where he has been a fundraising patron. The 54-year-old from Carmarthen said his big recovery goal was leading a fundraising trek to Morocco in October. But he admitted he was “a little way off that at the moment”. In a pre-recorded video message for Channel 4’s The National Comedy Awards for Stand Up To Cancer, he explained how the cancer centre had been a “big part” of his life as a patron for 10 years. “So imagine my surprise when I was diagnosed with cancer… because I thought I’d have lifelong immunity,” he joked. He said he was in Cuba on a fundraising trek when he noticed a lump in his neck. “I had a sore throat and I couldn’t speak and I couldn’t breathe and I was postponing and cancelling tour shows and I had terrible spasms in my face and a lot of tightness in the muscles,” he said. “It turns out after a biopsy of this lump in my neck that I have something called head and neck cancer. Cancer of the head sounded pretty serious. So before I knew it, I was having surgery. I was in daily sessions of radiotherapy and chemotherapy.” He described his treatment as “faultless” and said he was “coming back” to his former self as his facial hair was regrowing, his voice was back to normal and he was regaining weight. His recovery goal was to lead the cancer centre’s fundraising trek to Mount Toubkal, in Morocco’s Atlas Mountains, the highest point in North Africa, in October, Gilbert added. “I’m a little way off that at the moment, but I am feeling optimistic and weirdly feeling really happy and really positive,” he said. In December, Gilbert has postponed a string of live shows after being told he needed additional surgery due gallstones and recurring gallbladder infections that “kick like a donkey”. 

Jonnie Irwin has issued an update on his health after  announcing at the end of last year he had been diagnosed with lung cancer. The popular Channel 4 presenter has taken to Instagram to inform 155,000 followers and fans that he is receiving Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. The treatment involves a hyperbaric chamber which is highly pressurised, giving patients pure oxygen to breathe. Jonnie, 49, shared an image of the zip up portable chamber he was using after walking to the treatment centre in Newcastle. He captioned the snap: “And at the end of this walk…is this…hyperbaric oxygen therapy.” The dad-of-three and Dead Pool favourite has been very open about his health since he went public with his terminal cancer diagnosis in November 2022. In a recent interview with the Flying Monkeys, Jonnie revealed that he is getting his financial ducks in a row so he can secure the futures of his sons three year-old Rex and two year-old twins Rafa and Cormac. Speaking to the head monkey on Thursday, he said: “My experience will hopefully help people with a life-threatening disease and people who are dealing with these people. When you get diagnosed with something so serious, all control is taken away. “I wanted to take control back, so I did the usual weird diets and I also knew I had to look after my family. The moment you have family, your have this massive responsibility to look after them.” 

On This Day

  • 1878 – Thomas Edison patents the phonograph.
  • 1985 – William J. Schroeder becomes the first recipient of an artificial heart to leave the hospital.
  • 2012 – Forty-four people are killed in a prison brawl in Apodaca, Nuevo León, Mexico.

Deaths

  • 1994 – Derek Jarman, English director and set designer (b. 1942).
  • 2016 – Umberto Eco, Italian novelist, literary critic, and philosopher (b. 1932).
  • 2016 – Harper Lee, American author (b. 1926).
  • 2019 – Karl Lagerfeld, German fashion designer (b. 1933).

Father killed by ‘Violent Chicken’

A man has died of ‘massive bleeding’ while whispering ‘rooster’ after being attacked by aggressive bird at home in Ireland! 

Cancer survivor Jasper Kraus, who was living near Ballinasloe at the time, was killed on April 28th last year after he was attacked by a Brahma chicken. The 67-year-old Dutchman, formerly from The Hague, Netherlands, suffered a heart attack after the bird drove its spur into his leg, causing him to lose litres of blood.

Police officers and his daughter Virginia Guinan found Mr Kraus lying in a pool of blood from the wound on the back of his leg. His lodger said he was able to whisper the word ‘rooster’ as he lost and regained consciousness.

Paramedics performed CPR on the victim but their efforts were unsuccessful. 

Ms Guinan, 33, told an inquest into her father’s death that she raced to the house to find ambulance crews already at the grim scene, the flying monkeys reported.

She had been contacted by her father’s lodger, Corey O’Keeffe, who had been living with Mr Kraus for two years and looked after the animals.

Mr O’Keeffe had just returned home from a night shift at 8am. Before heading to bed, he fed the animals and greeted Mr Kraus. Not long after, the inquest heard, the tenant was woken by the Dutchman shouting ‘come quick’.

The lodger performed CPR for 25 minutes on the victim before an ambulance arrived.

Giving evidence, he said blood was coming out of Mr Kraus’s leg and that he noticed a large wound in the man’s calf and scratches on his other leg.

As he was falling in and out of consciousness, Mr Kraus told his tenant ‘rooster’, the inquest heard. He eventually lost so much blood that he suffered a heart attack.

Dr Annette Jennings told the inquest in a deposition read out at the hearing that paramedics were attempting to resuscitate Mr Kraus when she arrived at the scene in Killahornia, County Roscommon. He was pronounced dead at 3.24pm.

She said the circumstances around the man’s death were unusual on account of the wound being inflicted by a chicken. 

Dr Ramadan Shatwan, who carried out an autopsy on Mr Kraus, said the victim’s face was covered in dried blood but that no cuts on his face were found. He also told the inquest that his lower limbs were covered in dried blood.

The cause of death was due to lethal cardiac arrhythmia in the context of severe coronary atheroma and cardiomegaly, Dr Shatwan said.

Ms Guinan said when she arrived at her father’s house, she found her father in a pool of blood, with paramedics performing CPR.

She told the inquest that she followed the trail of blood to the Brahma chicken, which she said had blood on its claws.

The bereaved daughter said she knew it was the culprit because it had previously ‘attacked my daughter’. She told the inquest that she had wanted to get rid of the chicken, but that her father, who was a big animal lover, wanted to keep it.

‘My dad protested – he had too big of a heart and didn’t want me to get rid of the rooster, so dad took it instead,’ the newspaper reported.

Mr Kraus – a father of two and grandfather of two – was suffering from other health issues at the time of his death. He was in remission from cancer and coroner said his heart was ‘severely calcified’.

He had been outside visiting his dog’s grave when he was attacked.

Ms Guinan said the family knew her father’s heart ‘was bad’. She said she had to clean up his blood in the house after the attack and called for more support to be given to families who suffer from similar tragedies.

She also used the inquest as an opportunity to warn others of the dangers of owning chickens – even breeds considered safe such as the Brahma.

Mr Kraus is thought to be one of the few people in the world to die in such a way.

‘People should be aware of the signs and get rid of any bird as soon as they show signs of aggression,’ she told the inquest.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Millie Bobby Brown (19), Benicio Del Toro (56), Sam Reid (36), Ray Winstone (66), Jeff Daniels (68), Ophelia Lovibond (37), Seal (60), Leslie Ash (63), John Travolta (69), Molly Ringwald (55), Matt Dillon (59), Cybill Shepherd (73), Greta Scacchi (63), Dr. Dre (58), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (42), Denise Richards (52), Bonnie Wright (32), Rene Russo (69), Rory Kinnear (47), Lou Diamond Phillips (61), Brenda Fricker (78), Dominic Purcell (53), Paris Hilton (42), Patricia Routledge (94), Alejandro Jodorowsky (94), Barry Humphries (89), Michael Jordan (60), Ed Sheeran (32), Elizabeth Olsen (34), Christopher Eccleston (59), LeVar Burton (66), Amanda Holden (52), The Weeknd (33), John McEnroe (64), Jane Seymour (72), Matt Groening (69), Danai Gurira (45), Simon Pegg (53), Andrew Robinson (81), Teller (75), Neal McDonough (57), Mena Suvari (44), Stockard Channing (79), Tony Dalton (48), and Hugh Dennis (61).

Posted by  |  19th February 2023 | Categories: 2023 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 12th February 2023

In a cruel twist of fate, you all nearly lost your initial points! I missed the death of Amber McLaughlin, whom Jamie had listed as his Cert; she was executed on January 3rd, a full fourteen days before Lucile Randon. The reason I missed her is because Wiki didn’t list her on the Obituary pages, even though there is a Wiki page dedicated to her. These Death Row inmates are always a little problematic for our needs, commiserations to Jamie, but unfortunately rules are rules. 

So, onto the points! With the passing of one of the greatest songwriters of all time, Burt Bacharach, I can award 56 points to: Laura, Fiona, Dave, and Shân. Well done you lot! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Authorities in southern California say they are still “hopeful” of finding Julian Sands, but admitted the outcome of searches for the British actor “may not be what we would like”. San Bernardino County Sheriff’s department said conditions in the area remain dangerous, but that ground searches were planned for the future. Sands has now been missing for four weeks, after first being reported missing in the Mount Baldy region of the San Gabriel mountains on January 13th. “Regarding the search for Julian Sands, we remain hopeful but know the outcome may not be what we would like,” a spokesperson for the Sheriff’s department told the flying monkeys. “Conditions on Mt Baldy remain a danger and our Aviation Division still patrols the area when they are available. We also plan to search the area by ground in the future.” The spokesperson added that Sands’ family were “grateful” for the support they had received since his disappearance, but had no further statement for the public at this time. Numerous searches for the actor have since been undertaken on foot and by air by both local and state-level agencies – and efforts remain classified as “search and rescue” rather than a recovery mission. Authorities have previously used a Recco device, which is able to detect electronics and credit cards, in the hopes of establishing a more exact area in which to focus search efforts. Two weeks ago, Sands’ hiking partner and friend Kevin Ryan told the flying monkeys that it was obvious “something has gone wrong” but that the actor’s advanced experience and skill would “hopefully” see his safe return. Yeah right!  

Radio DJ James Whale has revealed he seriously considered euthanasia after finding out he has terminal cancer. The TalkTV and talkRADIO presenter announced he has just months to live in a heartbreaking speech at the end of last year. “This time next year I won’t be here,” he told a shocked audience at an awards ceremony just before Christmas. The 71-year-old radio star was first diagnosed with cancer in 2000 when he had a kidney removed. He survived, but in 2020 the cancer returned attacking his remaining kidney and has since spread to his lungs, spine and brain. Speaking in more detail about his most recent diagnosis, James told the flying monkeys he was all set to go to assisted dying clinic Dignitas in Switzerland to take his own life. He said: “I am terminally ill. It would have been easier all round. I’m not scared of dying… the reason I wanted to go to Dignitas was because I was thinking of others, not me.” But James decided not to go through with it so he could spend more time with his wife Nadine, who he married in a fairytale wedding in October 2021. In the joint interview with Nadine, who James met in his local pub in the Kent village they both live in, he says he is “glad” he stuck around because they’ve had “two great years together”. And James already knows what he wants for his last wish when the time comes.“I want to be buried in the churchyard at the top of the hill. It’s a great view,” he said. 

On This Day

  • 1993 – Two-year-old James Bulger is abducted from New Strand Shopping Centre by two ten-year-old boys, who later torture and murder him.
  • 1994 – Four thieves break into the National Gallery of Norway and steal Edvard Munch‘s iconic painting The Scream.
  • 2001 – NEAR Shoemaker spacecraft touches down in the “saddle” region of 433 Eros, becoming the first spacecraft to land on an asteroid.

Deaths

  • 1554 – Lady Jane Grey, de facto monarch of England and Ireland for nine days (b. 1537).
  • 1979 – Jean Renoir, French actor, director, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1894).
  • 2000 – Charles M. Schulz, American cartoonist, created Peanuts (b. 1922).
  • 2015 – Steve Strange, Welsh singer (b. 1959).
  • 2019 – Gordon Banks, English footballer (b. 1937).
  • 2022 – Ivan Reitman, Slovak-Canadian actor, director, and producer (b. 1946).

Last Meals

Amber McLaughlin breathed heavily a few times, uttered her final words and shut her eyes as she was executed on Tuesday, becoming the first transgender woman to be put to death years after she was convicted of killing her ex-girlfriend.

‘I am sorry for what I did,’ McLaughlin said in a final, written, statement. ‘I am a loving and caring person.’ McLaughlin, 49, spoke quietly with a spiritual adviser at her side as the fatal dose of pentobarbital was injected.

Earlier in the morning she was served her last meal of a cheeseburger, French fries, a strawberry milkshake and peanut M&Ms.

The Missouri inmate was convicted of stalking and killing former girlfriend Beverly Guenther, then dumping the body near the Mississippi River in St. Louis. A jury deadlocked on the sentence, but a judge sentenced McLaughlin to death in 2006. 

McLaughlin, who previously went by Scott, was executed 17 years after she was convicted of killing and stalking her girlfriend Beverly Guenther, 45, and dumping the body near the river in 2003.

McLaughlin was put to death by lethal injection after Republican Governor Mike Parson declined a clemency request hours before. 

‘McLaughlin’s conviction and sentence remains after multiple, thorough examinations of Missouri law. McLaughlin stalked, raped, and murdered Ms. Guenther. McLaughlin is a violent criminal,’ Parson said in a statement confirming the execution would go ahead.

‘Ms. Guenther’s family and loved ones deserve peace. The State of Missouri will carry out McLaughlin’s sentence according to the Court’s order and deliver justice.’

A database on the website for the anti-execution Death Penalty Information Centre shows that 1,558 people have been executed since the death penalty was reinstated in the mid-1970s. All but 17 of those put to death were men. 

The centre said there are no known previous cases of an openly transgender inmate being executed. McLaughlin began transitioning about three years ago at the state prison in Potosi. In addition, the clemency petition cited McLaughlin’s traumatic childhood and mental health issues, which the jury never heard during her trial.

She claimed in her petition that a foster parent rubbed faeces in her face when she was a toddler and her adoptive father used a stun gun on her. It also cited severe depression that resulted in multiple suicide attempts, both as a child and as an adult.

The petition also included reports citing a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, a condition that causes anguish and other symptoms as a result of a disparity between a person’s gender identity and their assigned sex at birth.

But McLaughlin’s sexual identity was ‘not the main  focus’ of the clemency request, her attorney, Larry Komp, said. 

In 2003, long before transitioning, McLaughlin was in a relationship with Beverly Guenther. After they stopped dating, McLaughlin would show up at the suburban St. Louis office where the 45-year-old Guenther worked, sometimes hiding inside the building, according to court records.

Guenther obtained a restraining order, and police officers occasionally escorted her to her car after work.

Guenther’s neighbours called police the night of November 20th 2003, when she failed to return home. Officers went to the office building, where they found a broken knife handle near her car and a trail of blood. A day later, McLaughlin led police to a location near the Mississippi River in St. Louis, where the body had been dumped. Authorities said she had been raped and stabbed repeatedly with a steak knife.

McLaughlin was convicted of first-degree murder in 2006. A judge sentenced McLaughlin to death after a jury deadlocked on the sentence. Komp said Missouri and Indiana are the only states that allow a judge to sentence someone to death. A court in 2016 ordered a new sentencing hearing, but a federal appeals court panel reinstated the death penalty in 2021.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Christina Ricci (43), Darren Aronofsky (54), Josh Brolin (55), Michael Ironside (73), Arsenio Hall (67), Annette Crosbie (89), Jennifer Aniston (54), Natalie Dormer (41), Damian Lewis (52), Taylor Lautner (31), Thomas Turgoose (31), Sheryl Crow (61), Elizabeth Banks (49), Chloë Grace Moretz (26), Laura Dern (56), Keeley Hawes (47), Robert Wagner (93), Philip Glenister (60), Holly Willoughby (42), Michael B. Jordan (36), Rose Leslie (36), Tom Hiddleston (42), Ciarán Hinds (70), Joe Pesci (80), Mia Farrow (78), Mary Steenburgen (70), Seth Green (49), Nick Nolte (82), John Williams (91), Ashton Kutcher (45), James Spader (63), Deborah Ann Woll (38), Eddie Izzard (61), Chris Rock (58), Mike Farrell (84), Kevin Whately (72), and Axl Rose (61).

Posted by  |  12th February 2023 | Categories: 2023 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 5th February 2023

Short and sweet this week, no points to award. Biggest news of the week was the sad passing of the talented Annie Wersching at the young age of 45 and that Michael Myers of Halloween fame is now properly dead, well, one of the actors that played Myers is, so maybe he’s not. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Paul Burrell, former footman to Queen Elizabeth II and butler to Princess Diana, has revealed that he is currently receiving treatment for prostate cancer. Appearing on Lorraine, the 64-year-old disclosed how the treatment for his cancer is affecting his emotional wellbeing. “I’m tired because I’m on hormone therapy at the moment and it’s sort of robbing me of my testosterone,” he said. “My beard isn’t growing like it should, I’m tired, I’m emotional, I get hot flushes.” Explaining his diagnosis, Burrell said: “In the summer I had to go for a medical for a TV programme I was doing and I had a full MOT. Out of that came a surprisingly high PSA test [a chemical released by the prostate gland]. I had no idea what a PSA test was.” He continued: “So I went to my GP, he said, ‘This is unusual’ and he examined me and sent me for an MRI scan. And the MRI scan of course was the window in which they looked through and saw a shadow on my prostate.” On the aftermath of his diagnosis, Paul shared that he is on an “emotional” and “educational” rollercoaster. He added: “Having a biopsy itself and finding the cancer, wrapping Christmas presents this year thinking, ‘Am I going to be here next year? I need to tell my boys.’” Burrell revealed that he went to the US during the festive period and told his sons. “They sat with me and held me and said, ‘Dad, we need to spend more time with you,’” he said. Burrell noted that he aims to raise awareness of prostate cancer and encourage all men to get checked. “You realise that there are thousands of men like me that had no symptoms, I didn’t realise what was happening and it could be too late,” he said. “So my message is: I was lucky, I was really lucky they caught it at the beginning. Men out there can go to their GP and ask for a PSA test, men over 50 and especially if you have history in the family. I don’t think men are particularly good at going to the doctors so if you love them, push them out of the door and get checked.” Paul later shared that he will be having his first operation on 27th February and he will be documenting his journey on Lorraine.   

Ozzy Osbourne has been seen for the first time since cancelling his UK and Ireland shows, and retiring from touring for good. The Black Sabbath legend, 74, recently had extensive spinal surgery following a fall at his home in 2019, which had further aggravated injuries from a near-fatal quad bike crash in 2003. The music legend released a statement earlier this week, revealing that he is ‘not physically capable’ of performing. On Friday, Ozzy was seen for the first time since cancelling his tour – and he appeared in high spirits as he flashed a peace sign at the cameras which snapped him using a walking stick. The rocker used the walking aid to help him up some steps as he emerged from a private car. Although he is in ill health, Ozzy appeared to be in good form as he entertained the cameras – waving and holding up a peace sign following his sad tour cancellation and early retirement. As always, Ozzy was dressed in an all-black ensemble as he wrapped up warm in a long-lined coat to beat the Spring chill. Announcing the sad news of his tour retirement to fans, Ozzy said that it was “probably one of the hardest things he’s ever had to share” and that he “never would have imagined that his touring days would have ended this way”. Explaining that his body is “still physically weak” and shared his despair at “disappointing” fans.

On This Day

  • 1869 – The largest alluvial gold nugget in history, called the “Welcome Stranger”, is found in Moliagul, Victoria, Australia.
  • 1907 – Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland announces the creation of Bakelite, the world’s first synthetic plastic.
  • 1924 – The Royal Greenwich Observatory begins broadcasting the hourly time signals known as the Greenwich Time Signal.
  • 1958 – A hydrogen bomb known as the Tybee Bomb is lost by the US Air Force off the coast of Savannah, Georgia, never to be recovered.

Deaths

Rules of Life

Madam Jeanne Louise Calment, who had the longest confirmed human lifespan: 122 years, 164 days, was born in Arles, France, on February 21st 1875. The Eiffel Tower was built when she was 14 years old. It was at this time she met Vincent van Gogh. “He was dirty, badly dressed, and disagreeable,” she recalled in an interview given in 1988.

When she was 85, she took up fencing, and still rode her bike when she reached 100. At the age of 114, she starred in a film about her life, at age 115 she had an operation on her hip, and at age 117 she gave up smoking, having started at the age of 21 in 1896. She didn’t give it up for health reasons; her reason was that she didn’t like having to ask someone to help her light a cigarette once she was nearly blind.

In 1965, Jeanne was 90 years old and had no heirs. She signed a deal to sell her apartment to a 47-year-old lawyer called André-François Raffray. He agreed to pay her a monthly sum of 2,500 francs on the condition he would inherit her apartment after she died. However, Raffray not only ended up paying Jeanne for 30 years, but then died before she did at the age of 77. His widow was legally obliged to continue paying Madam Calment until the end of her days.

Jeanne retained sharp mental faculties. When she was asked on her 120th birthday what kind of future she expected to have. Her reply, “A very short one.”

Here are the Rules of Life from Jeanne Louise Calment:

“I’m in love with wine.”

“All babies are beautiful.”

“I think I will die of laughter.”

“I’ve been forgotten by our Good Lord.”

“I’ve got only one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it.”

“I never wear mascara; I laugh until I cry often.”

“If you can’t change something, don’t worry about it.”

“Always keep your smile. That’s how I explain my long life.”

“I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything’s fine.”

“I have a huge desire to live and a big appetite, especially for sweets.”

“I have legs of iron, but to tell you the truth, they’re starting to rust and buckle a bit.”

“I took pleasure when I could. I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I’m very lucky.”

“Being young is a state of mind, it doesn’t depend on one’s body. I’m actually still a young girl, it’s just that I haven’t looked so good for the past 70 years.”

At the end of one interview, the journalist said, “Madame, I hope we will meet again sometime next year.” To which Jeanne replied, “Why not? You’re not that old; you’ll still be here!”

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jennifer Jason Leigh (61), Michael Sheen (54), Christopher Guest (75), Charlotte Rampling (77), Tony Jaa (47), Gabrielle Anwar (53), Alice Cooper (75), Jim Jefferies (46), Warwick Davis (53), Isla Fisher (47), Morgan Fairchild (73), Gemma Arterton (37), Brent Spiner (74), David Jason (83), Shakira (46), Sherilyn Fenn (58), Harry Styles (29), Michael C. Hall (52), Jonathan Banks (76), Minnie Driver (53), Justin Timberlake (42), and Dexter Fletcher (57).

Posted by  |  5th February 2023 | Categories: 2023 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 29th January 2023

Deaths were a bit thin on the ground last week but plenty to read as always. I’ll be closing the donations page next week, last chance to chip in you feel you need to. Big thank you to everyone who did! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

A man has died after he was crushed by a telescopic public urinal he was working on in central London, just yards from the Harry Potter theatre. Emergency services raced to the scene in the West End on Friday to attempt to free the maintenance worker, who become trapped underneath the unit. A rescue operation was launched just after 1pm between Shaftesbury Avenue and Charing Cross Road, near the capital’s busy theatre district. The London Fire Brigade sent four fire engines and around 25 firefighters, and with the help of police and paramedics at the scene managed to free the man but he was pronounced dead soon after. In a statement, the Metropolitan Police said: “We’re sorry to have to update that, despite the efforts of emergency services, the man who was critically injured in Cambridge Circus was pronounced dead at the scene. His next of kin have been informed. Cordons remain in place at the location.” The man had become trapped underneath the hydraulic urinal, a toilet stowed below ground which is brought to street level at night for people to use. A crane was brought to the scene as part of efforts to lift the entire structure out of the ground. Road closures were in place through Cambridge Circus during the attempted rescue, while buses were diverted away from the area. 

If you are stuck for a Maverick next year, you could choose this 45-year-old software developer. Bryan Johnson has opened up about his quest to regain his youth through a rigorous plan that involves a strict diet, medical procedures, and treatments, and which costs him around $2m a year. Johnson made his wealth when he sold his company, Braintree Payment Solutions, to Ebay’s PayPal in 2013 for $800m in cash. Since then, the 45-year-old has turned his attention inward and is now focused on reversing the ageing process. To reach his goals, which include achieving the “brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, tendons, teeth, skin, hair, bladder, penis and rectum of an 18 year old,” Johnson employs a team of more than 30 doctors and health experts who monitor his “every bodily function”. The treatment plan, which is overseen by Oliver Zolman, a 29-year-old regenerative medicine physician, and required an investment of “several million dollars,” also meant building a medical suite in Johnson’s Venice, California home, according to the publication. As for what “Project Blueprint” entails, Johnson revealed that he wakes up each morning at 5am and takes two dozen supplements and medicines, including zinc to supplement his diet and a micro-dose of lithium for “brain health”. He also follows a strict vegan diet of 1,977 calories a day, works out for an hour each day, and goes to sleep at the same time each night. He also wears blue-light glasses for two hours before bed. Each month, the millionaire tech entrepreneur also “endures dozens of medical procedures, some quite extreme and painful, then measures their results with additional blood tests, MRIs, ultrasounds and colonoscopies. He’s taken 33,537 images of his bowels, discovered that his eyelashes are shorter than average and probed the thickness of his carotid artery. He blasts his pelvic floor with electromagnetic pulses to improve muscle tone in hard-to-reach places and has a device that counts the number of his nighttime erections.” Johnson also undergoes weekly acid peels and laser therapy, and has fat injected into his face to build a “fat scaffolding”. He claims that the procedure is different from regular fillers because, as he “regenerates,” the new fat will “create fat on its own”. “The body delivers a certain configuration at age 18,” Johnson told the flying monkeys. “This really is an impassioned approach to achieve age 18 everywhere.” Who wants to tell him he looks like he’s 45?

Dame Esther Rantzen has said she is remaining “optimistic” after revealing she has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The 82-year-old broadcaster, long-time activist and founder of charities Childline and The Silver Line, confirmed the news on Sunday. Dame Esther said in a statement to the flying monkeys: “In the last few weeks I have discovered that I am suffering from lung cancer which has now spread. At the moment I am undergoing various tests, to assess the best treatment. I have decided not to keep this secret any more because I find it difficult to skulk around various hospitals wearing an unconvincing disguise, and because I would rather you heard the facts from me. At the age of 82, this diagnosis has prompted me to look back over the years, and I want to express my profound thanks to everyone who has made my life so joyful, filled with fun, and with inspiration. First and foremost my family. My three children Miriam, Rebecca and Joshua have been the most wonderful support, company, and source of love and laughter and I am deeply grateful to them. My friends have been amazing and have created memories which sustain me and give me strength. My colleagues with whom I have worked, and continue to work with in broadcasting, journalism, the voluntary sector, and in many other organisations have been a constant pleasure, and have amazed me with their tolerance of my wild ideas and awful jokes. I have been continuously inspired by the courageous children, older people and viewers who have trusted me with their life stories. I have always tried to live up to that trust. As I am sure you will understand, while I am awaiting the results of the tests, I am unable to answer questions. Thanks to the extraordinary skills of the medical profession there are wonderful new treatments, so I am remaining optimistic.” Dame Esther, who was a trailblazer for female broadcasters, became a household name during her career at the BBC. She is best-known for presenting That’s Life! – a programme featuring a mix of investigations, topical issues and entertainment – from 1973 to 1994.

Jay Leno is in the hospital again. The former host of The Tonight Show was previously hospitalized in November for burns sustained while working on one of his vintage cars, but he’s now receiving treatment for new injuries. Ahead of his return to performing in Las Vegas in March, the comedian revealed in a new interview with the flying monkeys that he got into a motorcycle crash on Jan. 17th and required medical care for broken bones. “Just last week, I got knocked off my motorcycle,” Leno said. “So I’ve got a broken collarbone. I’ve got two broken ribs. I’ve got two cracked kneecaps.” The good news is that Leno says he’s “okay” and “working this weekend.” Leno was test-driving a 1940 Indian motorcycle, one of his many prized vintage vehicles, when he noticed the smell of leaking gas and decided to pull over and figure out the problem. “So I turned down a side street and cut through a parking lot, and unbeknownst to me, some guy had a wire strung across the parking lot but with no flag hanging from it,” Leno said. “So, you know, I didn’t see it until it was too late. It just clotheslined me and, boom, knocked me off the bike. The bike kept going, and you know how that works out.” Leno compared his recent predicaments to another accident-prone celebrity: Harrison Ford. “You know, after getting burned up, you get that one for free,” Leno said. “After that, you’re Harrison Ford, crashing airplanes. You just want to keep your head down.” Leno should have plenty of time to recuperate. Sadly for Leno, CNBC has canceled Jay Leno’s Garage, his long-running series about vintage vehicles and the stories behind them. The network cites a renewed investment in its “core content of business news and personal finance.” So basically it was shit. 

On This Day

  • 1845 – “The Raven” is published in The Evening Mirror in New York, the first publication with the name of the author, Edgar Allan Poe.
  • 1886 – Karl Benz patents the first successful gasoline-driven automobile.
  • 2020 – COVID-19 pandemic: The Trump administration establishes the White House Coronavirus Task Force under Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar.

Deaths

Funeral fun

Have you ever wondered what your own funeral will be like, or who might turn up? Well, a curious Brazilian man has faked his own death to find out. Baltazar Lemos, 60, from Curitiba, Paraná, announced his death on social media and set up a hoax funeral for his friends and family.

Lemos frequently conducts funerals, and has overseen hundreds of ceremonies commemorating the life of other people. He recounted how saddened he had been after conducting a service with just two people in attendance compared to other services where more than 500 were present.

So, just like the episode in Friends where Ross Geller held a fake funeral to see which of his old college mates would attend, Lemos pulled the hoax to see who would show up. Unfortunately for the 60-year-old Brazilian, his funeral produced similarly disastrous results to that of the fictional palaeontologist. 

Lemos told our Brazilian flying monkeys ‘I had the idea five months ago. I wanted to make it look like I really died. People interpreted it in their own way. The truth is that I wanted to know who would come to my wake.’ 

He also apologised for his antics. ‘I didn’t tell anyone, because I hoped it would work out. I had no intention of hurting, offending, or causing any harm to anyone. I truly apologise to these people.’

Social media users quickly learned of the disastrous funeral. One wrote: ‘You got what you wanted Baltazar, to draw attention. In all the groups of event photographers, people are talking about your ‘death’. Everyone was mourning. What a ridiculous joke! I think you should take a picture with everyone who mourned your supposed death. I don’t know you personally and I hope I don’t ever meet you.’

Another of his friends said: ‘I’ve known him since 2001. I thought the story was horrible. I spent one day sad and the other very indignant. For me, he died on the 17th [the day the fake death was announced], when I found out everything. It was in very bad taste.’ 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tom Selleck (78), Heather Graham (53), Katharine Ross (83), Marc Singer (75), Oprah Winfrey (69), Adam Lambert (41), Tim Healy (71), Will Poulter (30), Ariel Winter (25), Elijah Wood (42), Tom Hopper (38), Alan Alda (87), Frank Darabont (64), Alan Cumming (58), Bridget Fonda (59), Patton Oswalt (54), James Cromwell (83), Scott Glenn (84), Deep Roy (74), Ellen DeGeneres (65), Volodymyr Zelenskyy (45), Matthew Lillard (53), Mischa Barton (37), Kristen Schaal (45), Nastassja Kinski (62), Michael Ontkean (77), Adrian Edmondson (66), Neil Diamond (82), and Gil Gerard (80).

Posted by  |  29th January 2023 | Categories: 2023 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 22nd January 2023

We’re finally up and running!!! With the passing of the worlds oldest person, Lucile Randon, I can award 182 points to Abi, Ceri, Dave, Paul C. And 82 points to Laura and Julia. Well done all of you for maximising the points available, she was only worth 32 points unless you listed her as one of your Big Three, plus the 1st Death of the Year bonus really boosted your scores. Commiserations to Martin, with the death of David Crosby, he missed out on the 1st Death Bonus by one day! However 69 points, better than a kick in the teeth! 

Also a very big thank you to all of you who have donated to keep us up and running for another year, we have hit our goal, and for the first time ever broken even 🙂 If anyone else feels the need to contribute, the donations page will be open until the end of January, no harm in being in profit for once! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Julian Sands, a prolific actor with more than 150 screen credits, has gone missing while hiking. The British star is believed to have been somewhere on the popular Baldy Bowl Trail in California, which climbs 3,900 feet over 4.5 miles to the highest summit in the San Gabriel Mountains. His phone appears to show he was on the move heading into the mountainous area on the day he was reported missing. The search has been ramped up of late as officials use mobile phone forensics to help pinpoint the location of the actor. Sands, 65, was reported missing during a hiking trip in the Baldy Bowl area last Friday, as searches by local authorities continue by “helicopter and drones when weather permits”. The San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department previously said that phone pings showed the British actor to be heading to the Mount Baldy area two days after he was first reported missing. It comes after The Flying Monkeys revealed images sent from Sands to his grandson Billy in September, which show the father-of-three mountaineering. The Flying Monkeys understands that Sands’ son Henry joined the search, retracing the route his father took, with the assistance of an experienced climber.  

Christy Dignam, the lead singer of Irish rock band Aslan, is receiving palliative care at home, his family has confirmed. The 62-year-old Dubliner is being treated for amyloidosis, which causes an abnormal protein to build up in the body, triggering organ failure. He was admitted to hospital in July 2022 and received six months of treatment. His family shared an update on Monday “in response to the large number of media enquiries received”. A statement read: “Since December, Christy has been at home and is being cared for lovingly by family, with the support of a palliative care team. The Dignam family thanks everyone for keeping Christy in their thoughts and prayers and asks for privacy at this time.” Aslan formed in Dublin in 1982 and had several hit records including Crazy World and This Is. The band was due to tour the Republic of Ireland this summer as well as performing in Londonderry’s Millennium Forum on 15th July. But in statement on their social media pages, the other Aslan members said they were “devastated that all future shows will be cancelled” due to Dignam’s ill-health. “As always, Christy’s health has been, and is, our priority. It has been a tough road for all of us but most of all Christy,” they said. “There are no words to describe how we are feeling with the update that has been shared by Christy’s family.” Over the past few years, Dignam has spoken openly about his physical and mental health struggles. Prior to be being diagnosed with amyloidosis, he was treated for heroin addition. It contributed to Dignam being fired from Aslan in the late 1980s. The group reformed for a one-off gig in 1993 and ending up recording several more albums and regularly touring around Ireland.   

The death of a farmer who appeared on BBC documentary This Farming Life will be  probed by a sheriff after he was killed by one of his own cows. Derek Roan, 71, died in hospital after a horror incident at his family farm in southern Scotland last year. Emergency crews were called to the scene at Barnbarroch Farm, near Dalbeattie, Dumfries and Galloway, on June 18th and took the grandfather-of-six to Dumfries and Galloway Royal Infirmary, but he died from his injuries. A Fatal Accident Inquiry (FAI) will now examine the circumstances around Mr Roan’s death. His loved ones confirmed his death and spoke of their shock in a statement issued via the family firm Roan’s Dairy, saying he was a ‘beloved husband’ to wife Kathleen and a ‘devoted father’ to their three children. They said: ‘We are totally devastated and still in shock at what has happened and it will take some time for us to come to terms of not having him around. ‘All Derek’s hard work was for his two passions in life – his family and his farms. ‘Derek was well known within the farming community and many other circles. He will be sadly missed by all.’ Mr Roan, who appeared in the BBC documentary about farming, was chairman of Colvend and Southwick Community Council. Vice-chairman Simon Pain said at the time his friend had died from a ‘stock-related injury’ and said the farmer was ‘well liked and well respected in our community’, describing him as a ‘leading light’. The Health and Safety Executive launched an investigation following the tragedy. Police Scotland said they were not treating the death as suspicious, and a report was submitted to the Procurator Fiscal.  

Jeremy Renner has shared more about the extent of his injuries from his snowplough accident, as he revealed that he broke more than 30 bones earlier this month. On 1st January, the Marvel star was airlifted to hospital with “blunt chest trauma and orthopaedic injuries”, after he was accidentally run over by his own plough machine. Renner, 52, has posted a number of updates to Instagram from his hospital bed since then. On Saturday, he shared a photo showing a masked man handling his leg during treatment. “Morning workouts, resolutions all changed this particular new year,” he wrote. “Spawned from tragedy for my entire family, and quickly focused into uniting actionable love.” Renner went on to thank his fans for their “messages and thoughtfulness for my family and I”, adding: “Much love and appreciation to you all. These 30-plus broken bones will mend, grow stronger, just like the love and bond with family and friends deepens. Love and blessings to you all.” His Marvel co-star Chris Hemsworth commented: “You’re a champion mate! We love you.”

On This Day

  • 1879 – The Battle of Rorke’s Drift, during the Anglo-Zulu War results in a British victory.
  • 1901 – Edward VII is proclaimed King of the United Kingdom after the death of his mother, Queen Victoria.
  • 1905 – Bloody Sunday in Saint Petersburg, beginning of the 1905 revolution.
  • 1915 – Over 600 people are killed in Guadalajara, Mexico, when a train plunges off the tracks into a deep canyon.
  • 1924 – Ramsay MacDonald becomes the first Labour Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
  • 1973 – The Supreme Court of the United States delivers its decisions in Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton, legalising elective abortion in all fifty states.
  • 1984 – The Apple Macintosh, the first consumer computer to popularise the computer mouse and the graphical user interface, is introduced during a Super Bowl XVIII television commercial.

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Linda Blair (64), Geena Davis (67), Martin Shaw (78), Emma Bunton (47), David Lynch (77), Rainn Wilson (57), Tom Baker (89), Bill Maher (67), Katey Sagal (69) Dolly Parton (77), Tippi Hedren (93), Rob Delaney (46), Michael Crawford (81), Dave Bautista (54), Kevin Costner (68), Mark Rylance (63), Jason Segel (43), Jane Horrocks (59), Samantha Mumba (40), Jim Carrey (61), Zooey Deschanel (43), James Earl Jones (92), Kelly Marie Tran (34), Lin-Manuel Miranda (43), John Carpenter (75), and Sade (64).

Posted by  |  22nd January 2023 | Categories: 2023 | Leave A Comment »