Afternoon my morbid minions, we have points to disburse! Well done Dave and Paul C. for correctly guessing that Jeralean Talley, the worlds oldest living person (now not so much), would kick the bucket this year. 34 points each. I know, not many points, but it’s still 34 more than most of us have.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Rick Ducommun, 62, Canadian actor (The ‘Burbs, Scary Movie, Die Hard), complications from diabetes.
• Blaze Starr, 83, American stripper, burlesque comedienne and club owner, subject of Blaze.
• Ron Clarke, 78, Australian long distance runner, Olympic bronze medalist (1964), Mayor of the Gold Coast (2004–2012), kidney failure.
• Nelson Doubleday, Jr., 81, American publisher (Doubleday) and Major League Baseball team owner (New York Mets), pneumonia.
• Jeralean Talley, 116, American supercentenarian, world’s oldest living person.

In Other News

Veteran actor Sir John Hurt has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The 75-year-old, who was Oscar-nominated for his role in 1980’s The Elephant Man, said he would continue working despite the diagnosis. “I am undergoing treatment and am more than optimistic about a satisfactory outcome, as indeed is the medical team,” he told the Press Association. “I am continuing to focus on my professional commitments and will shortly be recording Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell (one of life’s small ironies!) for BBC Radio 4,” he said.

In the same vein, Tommy Chong, one half of the 1970s comedy duo Cheech and Chong, reveals he has rectal cancer. “I have good news and bad news. First the bad  news, the cancer came back and it is a real pain in the butt,” the 77-year-old comedian tweeted. “The good news is I now have to use more marijuana to treat the cancer.” Chong was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago, and cited marijuana as a key player in his recovery. It can’t have helped that much if it came back!

Leading on, we have reports of former dance-pop singer George Michael being in rehab over marijuana use. The 51-year-old has checked in to the Switzerland-based Kusnacht Practice to receive treatment for substance abuse, after having “admitted to have consumed up to 25 joints per day”. Once described as “the world’s most expensive rehab clinic”, the facility near to Zurich charges around €100,000 (£72,000) for treatment and has previously been used by other famous clients, including designer John Galliano. The clinic released a statement saying: “We can neither confirm nor deny that George Michael is a patient with us.” In March last year, Michael said he had not used cannabis for “well over a year-and-a-half”, so he must be making up for lost time…

Colin Montgomerie checked into hospital due to chest pains early on Sunday but was cleared in time to play his final round at the Senior Players Championship in Massachusetts. The Briton, considered one of the best players never to have landed a regular major title, has won three major championships in the over-50s ranks since joining the tour in 2013. The Scot said he felt discomfort at the end of his third round but returned to the course on Sunday after treatment. “I decided the prudent thing was to go in and get checked,” Montgomerie said. “I had all these CAT scans and all this stuff. I had two hours to do it this morning and the staff of the hospital was superb.”At 51 years of age, Montgomorie has at least won one major title, that of Oldest Living Scotsman. Anyone feeding him deep fried battered pizza will be disqualified.

In more golfing drama, Australian golfer Jason Day has collapsed on the final hole of his second round at the US Open Championship in Washington with a bout of vertigo! Day was walking down the ninth, his final hole of the day, when he collapsed. After a delay of several minutes, he got back to his feet and made a bogey. Day has been suffering from fatigue and dizzy spells for the better part of a year, withdrawing from last year’s World Golf Championship Bridgestone Invitational after a bout and once again having issues in 2015. The 27-year-old has taken a series of tests over the last month to try to pinpoint the problem but has yet to get an answer. Brain tumour anyone?

Writer and artist Alasdair Gray has been seriously injured after a fall at his home. An ambulance was called to the 80 year old’s house in the West End of Glasgow at around 2am on Thursday, and he was taken to hospital for treatment. He is best known as author of the novel Lanark, but is also regarded for his artwork – including a series of murals. His injuries are not believed to be life threatening at this time but we all know what a fall does to an 80 year old!!

And finally, if you go down to the woods today, you might be in for a huge surprise, like a man taking his regular morning stroll who was killed by an elephant that had escaped from a nearby circus. The 65-year-old was walking in the woods near Buchen, a town in south-west Germany, when the African elephant attacked him shortly after 5am local time. What the fuck he was doing in the woods at 5am wasn’t explained and Police declined to say what injuries the unnamed man suffered. The 34-year-old female elephant, called Baby, was captured and returned to the circus. Police are now investigating whether someone let the elephant out of its secure enclosure, and why the animal acted aggressively toward the man.

On This Day

• 1854 – The first Victoria Cross is awarded during the bombardment of Bomarsund in the Åland Islands.
• 1948 – Columbia Records introduces the long-playing record album in a public demonstration at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York, New York.
• 1982 – John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
• 2004 – SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.

Deaths

• 1377 – Edward III of England (b. 1312)
• 1652 – Inigo Jones, English architect (b. 1573)
• 2001 – John Lee Hooker, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1916)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Donald Trump (69), Boy George (54), Steffi Graf (46), Jim Belushi (61), Helen Hunt (52), Courtney Cox (51), Ice Cube (46), Neil Patrick Harris (42), Barry Manilow (72), Newt Gingrich (72), Venus Williams (35), Paul McCartney (73), Isabella Rossellini (63), Alison Moyet (54), Richard Madden (29), Kathleen Turner (61), Paula Abdul (53), Mia Sara (48), Zoe Saldana (37), Olympia Dukakis (84), Martin Landau (87), Danny Aiello (82), Brian Wilson (73), Lionel Richie (66), John Goodman (63), Nicole Kidman (48) and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (26).

Next Week peeps!

What a week! It seemed like there was a mass extinction of celebrities, but for us here at Dead Pool Towers, the only death that mattered was Christopher Lee. Many of you had him listed, but strangely none of you saw fit to declare him a Cert, which is usually a sign of a well loved celebrity.

So, 57 points are awarded thusly: Luke, Ashley, Liz, Julie, Kirsty, Paul G, & Nickie, well done to all of you, especially those of you who have scored for the first time this year.

This week I’ve taken the liberty of adding the lists to the email so you can refresh your memory on who you and everyone else has on their lists of doom. After all, its been over six months and I bet you’re wondering why you’re still part of this abominable endeavour.

So take a quick look, correct me if I’ve gone wrong or missed a death and remember that there’s months to go yet, so if like me you’ve yet to score, all is not lost, who knows what will happen! Maybe a plane crash at the Oscars….

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Vincent Bugliosi, 80, American attorney and author (Helter Skelter), cancer.
• Ronnie Gilbert, 88, American singer-songwriter (The Weavers) and actress (Running on Empty).
• Sir Christopher Lee, 93, British actor, voice artist, and singer (Dracula, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars), heart failure.
• James Last, 86, German composer and big band leader.
• Robert Chartoff, 81, American film producer (Rocky, Raging Bull, Ender’s Game), Oscar winner (1977), pancreatic cancer.
• Igor Kostin, 78, Romanian-born Ukrainian photographer, took first pictures of Chernobyl disaster, traffic collision.
• Ron Moody, 91, British actor (Oliver!, The Animals of Farthing Wood, EastEnders).
• Dusty Rhodes, 69, American Hall of Fame professional wrestler (NWA, WCW, WWE).

In Other News 

The Foo Fighters have cancelled two gigs after frontman Dave Grohl sustained “at least one fracture” when he fell off the stage during a concert in Gothenburg, Sweden. The band were two songs into their set at the Ullevi stadium when Grohl went to jump on a ramp but missed and fell into the security area. “I think I just broke my leg,” the singer told the crowd as he lay on the ground. “I’m going to go to hospital. I’m going to fix my leg. And then I’m going to come back.” Eyewitnesses told the media that the band continued the concert, playing cover versions whilst Grohl sought medical attention. A fan said, “He reappeared after an hour to continue the concert, sitting in a chair with his leg bandaged. It was surreal to see him perform on stage with a medic holding his leg. The crowd was just amazed that he was carrying on. He was just phenomenal. I can’t see how he will make the next gig in Holland but then he’s more of a man than I am so I wouldn’t put it past him.”

This year has seen several musicians injured on stage. Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine broke her foot leaping off stage at the Coachella Music Festival in April, while U2 guitarist The Edge misjudged his step and fell off the stage during the opening night of the band’s Innocence and Experience tour. Madonna also fell off stage during a live performance at the Brit Awards. The pop star continued her performance, but said she suffered “a little bit of whiplash”. It’s a perilous old game being a musician these days!

The former England and Tottenham striker Jimmy Greaves has left hospital just over a month after suffering a severe stroke. The 75-year-old was admitted into intensive care on 3 May but his friend and agent Terry Baker has now confirmed Greaves “has left hospital and entered a rehabilitation unit for the next few weeks”. Baker added in a statement on Facebook: “He has improved considerably but there is still a very long way to go.” Which suggests that Greavesy is now struggling with soup and incapable of wiping his own arse.

Paul Gascoigne has revealed that he is “happy in life” in a Radio 5 interview. Gascoigne, 48, knew something was wrong during his playing days and spoke of his relief at finally being diagnosed as an alcoholic and admits that he’s spent £300,000 on rehab clinics. Although he still manages to go on a bender now and again, he denied that he’s a piss addled sot and the media has totally blown up the whole situation. He still reckons he’s the best footballer ever to have played for England, which may be true, but is a sad statement about English football. 2/1 he dies during a xmas binge of sadness.

A Spanish bullfighter gored in the testicles by a bull he was fighting has left hospital. Marco Galan underwent surgery after Sunday’s incident where he was lifted into the air after black fighting bull thrust its left horn into his groin. The infirmary said in its medical report that he had suffered a “bull horn wound in the scrotum which caused bruising and evisceration of the left testicle”. Sadly the brutal bastard will survive, unlike the poor bull. At least he managed to get some kind of restitution before he was killed for ‘entertainment’.

And finally, if you think you’re having a bad day, think about this poor fucker who has survived after being stung up to 1,000 times by tens of thousands of bees near Kingman in north-western Arizona after he disturbed a large hive in a shed in his backyard. “The number of bees in the shed was unbelievable,” a spokesman said. “The deputy who arrived said it was it was like something you’d see in the movies. It was just amazing.” Authorities said the man was working on the property when he was stung and ran to his vehicle, getting help from two passersby who were also stung. A beekeeper called to the scene was also stung 23 times. He told authorities it would probably take several days to fully contain the bees. A particular strain of bee has been menacing people and animals in Arizona in recent weeks, with some being hurt badly enough to require a hospital stay. Nature is finally turning on us!

On This Day

• 1404 – Welsh rebel leader Owain Glyndŵr, having declared himself Prince of Wales, allies himself with the French against King Henry IV of England.
• 1777 – The Stars and Stripes is adopted by Congress as the Flag of the United States.
• 1789 – Mutiny on the Bounty: HMS Bounty mutiny survivors including Captain William Bligh and 18 others reach Timor after a nearly 7,400 km (4,600 mi) journey in an open boat.
• 1789 – Whiskey distilled from maize is first produced by American clergyman the Rev Elijah Craig. It is named Bourbon because Rev Craig lived in Bourbon County, Kentucky.
• 1822 – Charles Babbage proposes a difference engine in a paper to the Royal Astronomical Society entitled “Note on the application of machinery to the computation of astronomical and mathematical tables”.
• 1919 – John Alcock and Arthur Whitten Brown depart from St. John’s, Newfoundland on the first nonstop transatlantic flight.
• 1949 – Albert II, a rhesus monkey, rides a V2 rocket to an altitude of 134 km (83 mi), thereby becoming the first monkey in space.
• 1962 – The European Space Research Organisation is established in Paris – later becoming the European Space Agency.
• 1966 – The Vatican announces the abolition of the Index Librorum Prohibitorum (“index of prohibited books”), which was originally instituted in 1557.
• 1967 – The People’s Republic of China tests its first hydrogen bomb.
• 1982 – Falklands War: Argentine forces in the capital Stanley conditionally surrender to British forces.
• 2002 – Near-Earth asteroid 2002 MN misses the Earth by 75,000 miles (121,000 km), about one-third of the distance between the Earth and the Moon.

Deaths

• 1927 – Jerome K. Jerome, English author (b. 1859)
• 1928 – Emmeline Pankhurst, English activist (b. 1857)
• 1946 – John Logie Baird, Scottish-English engineer (b. 1888)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tom Jones (75), Liam Neeson (53), Bear Grylls (41), Bill Hader (37), Michael Cera (27), Anna Kournikova (34), Jerry Stiller (88), Nancy Sinatra (75), Griffin Dunne (60), Kayne West (38), Barbara Bush (90), Michael J. Fox (54), Johnny Depp (52), Natalie Portman (34), Elizabeth Hurley (50), Gene Wilder (81), Hugh Laurie (56), Shia LeBeouf (29), George H. W. Bush (91), Malcolm McDowell (72), Tim Allen (62), Ally Sheedy (53), Steve-O (41),

Next Week peeps!

Afternoon all, another fun packed edition of the Dead Pool Newsletter to keep you amused on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Alas no listed deaths this week, but plenty of news, in fact so much news I’ve had to leave out more than I put in.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Katherine Chappell, 29, American visual effects editor (Game of Thrones, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Godzilla), lioness attack.
• Charles Kennedy, 55, British politician, Leader of the Liberal Democrats (1999–2006), MP (1983–2015), internal haemorrhage.
• Tiffany Two, 27, American cat, world’s oldest living cat.
• Tariq Aziz, 79, Iraqi politician, Foreign Minister (1983–1991).
• Paolo Tullio, 65, Italian-born Irish Michelin Star-winning chef (Armstrong’s Barn) and resident food critic (The Restaurant).
• Jerry Collins, 34, Samoan-born New Zealand rugby union player (national team), traffic collision.
• Richard Johnson, 87, English actor (The Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders, Julius Caesar, The Haunting).

In Other News

The former snooker player Willie Thorne has announced he is suffering from prostate cancer. Thorne, 61, told the media that the cancer was discovered at an early stage and said he was hopeful of making a full recovery. Thorne, a former UK Championship runner-up who has forged a career as a snooker commentator with the BBC since retiring from playing, has been battling gambling problems. He said: “I feel numb with everything that has gone on. But I am determined to summon the strength and fight. “I’m scared because I’ve spent two years living a lie with the gambling, depression and debts – I do wonder if this has been brought on by the stress.” Sounds like a good bet for next year!

Nichelle Nichols, best known for her role as Lieutenant Uhura  in TV’s Star Trek, has suffered a stroke. In an updated post on Facebook, her agent reported that Nichols was “awake, eating, in good spirits and able to have full conversations.” “Her right side has shown minor signs of mobility loss but she is not showing any signs of paralyses. The 82-year-old was handpicked by Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry to appear in the original 1960s TV series. Her casting as fourth in command of the USS Enterprise broke many racial barriers, with Nichols becoming the first black woman to share a kiss with a white man (William Shatner) on US television in 1966.

A BBC journalist is facing disciplinary action for killing off the Queen on Twitter after apparently mistaking a rehearsal of the announcement of her death for the real thing. The Corporation apologised after Ahmen Khawaja, a broadcast journalist, sent a tweet saying: “‘Queen Elizabrth has died [sic]’:@BBCWorld”. It was sent during one of the corporation’s regular rehearsals for royal deaths, but insiders said Ms Khawaja was not taking part in the exercise and appeared to have overheard the rehearsal and tweeted what she thought was breaking news. Ms Khawaja, 31,had previously sent a tweet saying: “BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth is being treated at King Edward 7th Hospital in London. Statement due shortly: @BBCWorld.” By sheer coincidence the Queen was, in fact, at the very same hospital for her annual check-up at the time, but sources said Ms Khawaja did not know that.

The former German chancellor Helmut Kohl is reported to be in a critical condition in the intensive-care unit of a German hospital. Kohl, 85, who served as chancellor between 1982 and 1998 and is known as the architect of German reunification, was admitted to the Heidelberg’s university hospital in south-west Germany following an operation on his intestines. Neither his office nor the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) has responded to requests by German media for information about his condition. The hospital said his family might release a statement.

Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej has gone back into hospital, only a few weeks after being discharged. A statement from the palace on Sunday said he was undergoing tests at the Siriraj  Hospital in Bangkok but did not say when he was likely to return to his home in the coastal city of Hua Hin. As you know, the 87-year-old monarch has been in poor health for some years and is a good shout for next years lists.

Spanish singer Enrique Iglesias has been receiving treatment after two of his fingers were injured by a drone camera during a concert in Mexico. The singer had been attempting to grab the drone, apparently in an attempt to give fans a point-of-view shot from the stage. At the time the 40 year old singer was “semi-treated” at the side of the stage to stop the bleeding, and was advised to end the show. However, he performed for another 30 minutes before seeking further treatment where he found his mangled hand was worse than expected. Following reconstructive surgery on Monday, it was announced he would need several weeks to recover.

And finally, Stephen Hawking has said he would consider ending his own life if he became a burden to others or if he had “nothing more to contribute”. But the physicist and cosmologist told a forthcoming BBC programme he knows he has much more scientific work to do, despite his advanced motor neurone disease. “To keep someone alive against their wishes is the ultimate indignity,” Hawking, 73, told his interviewer, the comedian Dara O’Briain. “I would consider assisted suicide only if I were in great pain or felt I had nothing more to contribute but was just a burden to those around me.” Let’s see what he does!

On This Day

• 1692 – Port Royal, Jamaica, was hit by a catastrophic earthquake; in just three minutes, 1,600 people were killed and 3,000 were seriously injured.
• 1832 – Asian cholera reaches Quebec, brought by Irish immigrants, and kills about 6,000 people in Lower Canada.
• 1862 – The United States and the United Kingdom agree to suppress the slave trade.
• 1893 – Mohandas Gandhi commits his first act of civil disobedience.
• 1965 – The Supreme Court of the United States hands down its decision in Griswold v. Connecticut, effectively legalizing the use of contraception by married couples.
• 1982 – Priscilla Presley opens Graceland to the public; the bathroom where Elvis Presley died five years earlier was kept off-limits.

Deaths

• 1329 – Robert the Bruce, Scottish king (b. 1274)
• 1937 – Jean Harlow, American actress and singer (b. 1911)
• 1954 – Alan Turing, English mathematician, cryptanalyst, & computer scientist (b. 1912)
• 1970 – E. M. Forster, English author (b. 1879)
• 1980 – Henry Miller, American author (b. 1891)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Angelina Jolie (40), Clint Eastwood (85), Brooke Shields (50), Mark Wahlberg (44), Heidi Klum (42), Colin Farrell (39), Alanis Morissette (41), Morgan Freeman (78), Russell Brand (40), Dana Carvey (60), Lea Thompson (54), Ronnie Wood (58), Jonathan Pryce (68), Charlie Watts (74), Paul Giamatti (48), Robert Englund (68), Bruce Dern (79), Rafael Nadal (29), Justin Long (37), Zachary Quinto (38), Tom Berenger (66), Sandra Bernhard (60) and Jason Isaacs (52).

Next Week peeps!

Sadly, no points again this week, but a plethora of other deaths and plenty of death related news for you to enjoy nevertheless. Without further ado:

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Hugh Ambrose, 48, American historian and author (The Pacific), cancer.
• Anne Meara, 85, American comedian (Stiller and Meara) and actress (Archie Bunker’s Place, The Boys from Brazil).
• John Forbes Nash, Jr., 86, American mathematician, laureate of the Nobel Prize in Economics (1994), subject of A Beautiful Mind, traffic collision.
• Tanith Lee, 67, British science fiction, horror and fantasy writer (Blake’s 7).
• Dennis Sheehan, 68, Irish music tour manager (U2), heart attack.
• Christer Jansson, 51, Swedish drummer (Roxette), cancer.
• Doris Hart, 89, American Hall of Fame tennis player.
• Beau Biden, 46, American politician, Attorney General of Delaware (2007–2015), brain cancer.

In Other News 

Actor , who starred in Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago in the 1960s, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. The 83-year-old star’s agent confirmed the news, just in case you didn’t believe him. His son Tarek told us “He still knows he’s a famous actor. The loss of memory affects above all specific things, details like when he was in a specific place or who he acted with in a specific film, he remembers, for example, that it was Doctor Zhivago but he’s forgotten when it was filmed. He can talk about the film but he forgets its name or he calls it something else instead like Lawrence of Arabia.” Egypt-born Sharif won two Golden Globe awards and an Oscar nomination for his role as Sherif Ali in David Lean’s 1962 epic Lawrence of Arabia, or did he? I’m not so sure anymore…

Scottish artist Jack Vettriano has announced he is giving up painting for the foreseeable future due to a recent accident. He has released a statement  saying that he has dislocated his shoulder and is facing a long recovery period. The statement from Mr Vettriano said: “As a result of a recent accident my right shoulder was dislocated and the reality is that I am going to be unable to paint in the foreseeable future. “I am undertaking a course of physiotherapy but am facing a long recovery period. In the meantime I would like to thank the public for their continued support and interest.” Paintings by the 61-year-old Fife artist, including The Singing Butler, have fetched huge sums and his prints and postcards sell in vast quantities for some reason.

The US secretary of state, John Kerry, was in a stable condition in a Geneva hospital after being injured in an accident while cycling near Scionzier, France. Kerry, 71, was transported by helicopter to a hospital in Geneva, where he was being examined for a broken leg after hitting a kerb. X-rays at a Swiss hospital confirmed that Kerry fractured his right femur. “The secretary is stable and never lost consciousness, his injury is not life-threatening and he is expected to make a full recovery,” a spokesman said in a statement. The question arrises, WTF was a 71 year old doing on a bicycle??? Twat…

Northern Ireland’s first minister, Peter Robinson, has been discharged from hospital as he recovers from a suspected heart attack. The Democratic Unionist party leader was admitted to the Ulster hospital in Dundonald on Monday, before being moved to Belfast’s Royal Victoria hospital (RVH), where he was fitted with a heart stent. After leaving the RVH on Friday the 66-year-old paid tribute to the hospital’s staff. “Happy to be discharged and back home. Thanks to the wonderful RVH cardiac team – everyone a star,” he tweeted. Can’t be that serious if he can tweet.

Comic and 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan has settled his legal case against Walmart over a crash which left him seriously injured, and killed his friend. A Walmart truck crashed in to the back of Morgan’s limo in June 2014, with prosecutors alleging the driver had not slept for more than 24 hours. Morgan’s lawyer, Benedict Morelli, said Walmart “took full responsibility for the accident”. Morgan, 46, was left in a critical condition following the crash, suffering a traumatic head injury, a broken leg, nose and ribs. In March, his lawyer said the star had not yet been able to get back to work but was “working very hard to get better, physically, emotionally and mentally.” Which is lawyer speak for ‘he’s absolutely fine’. Morgan will be interviewed tomorrow on NBC’s Today program by Matt Lauer, so you can see for yourself the extent of his injuries.

Actor and Pulitzer prize-winning playwright Sam Shepard was arrested Monday on suspicion of drunken driving after a Santa Fe restaurant’s security complained about a possibly intoxicated driver. The 71-year-old Shepard told a police officer that he had two tequila drinks and was planning to drive home, Santa Fe police lieutenant Andrea Dobyns said Tuesday. “Our officer could smell alcohol on his breath, and he had bloodshot, watery eyes,” she said. Shepherd declined to take a breath test, but he did perform a field sobriety test, which he failed! Monday’s arrest appears to be Shepard’s second on charges of drunken driving. In January 2009, he was arrested on charges of speeding and drunken driving in the central Illinois town of Normal. Shepard was driving 16 mph over the 30 mph speed limit, police said. A breath test then indicated his blood-alcohol level was double the legal limit. The actor told police then that he had been at a tavern in nearby Bloomington and was heading to a hotel. I’m taking bets on liver failure..

And finally, Britain’s oldest twins have died just weeks apart after being inseparable for 103 years. Glenys Thomas died in April before her heartbroken sister Florence Davies passed away within a month. The great-great-grandmothers were born in 1911, the year before the Titanic sunk. They lived through two world wars, the civil rights movement and huge advances in technology, but they always lived in the small mining village of Abertridwr, in Caerphilly, South Wales, where they had homes next to each other. The twins – believed to be the oldest identical twins in the world – built an interior door joining the two kitchens of their homes to make it easier to see each other. The pair did everything together before Mrs Thomas died on April 23, followed by Mrs Davies last Wednesday, May 20. Their family put their great age down to a “nice, quiet life”.

On This Day

• 1279 BC – Ramesses II (The Great) (19th dynasty) becomes pharaoh of Ancient Egypt.
• 1669 – Citing poor eyesight, Samuel Pepys records the last event in his diary.
• 1859 – The clock tower at the Houses of Parliament, which houses Big Ben, starts keeping time.
• 1927 – The last Ford Model T rolls off the assembly line after a production run of 15,007,003 vehicles.
• 1929 – The first talking Mickey Mouse cartoon, “The Karnival Kid“, is released.
• 2005 – Vanity Fair reveals that Mark Felt was Deep Throat.
• 2013 – The asteroid 1998 QE2 and its moon make their closest approach to Earth for the next two centuries.

Deaths

• 1809 – Joseph Haydn, Austrian composer (b. 1732)
• 1837 – Joseph Grimaldi, English comedian and actor, created the clown (b. 1779)
• 1983 – Jack Dempsey, American boxer (b. 1895)
• 2009 – Danny La Rue, Irish-born English drag entertainer and singer (b. 1927)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Laverne Cox (31), Priscilla Presley (70), Bob Dylan (74), Stevie Nicks (67), Mike Myers (52), Lauren Hill (40), Annette Bening (57), Todd Bridges (50), Mel B (40), Lenny Kravitz (51), Helena Bonham Carter (49), Anne Heche (46), Tommy Chong (77), John C. Reilly (50), Sir Ian McKellen (76), Frank Oz (71), Pam Grier (66), Bobcat Goldthwait (53), Louis Gossett Jr. (79), Cilla Black (72), Siouxie Sioux (58), Paul Bettany (44), Andre 3000 (40), Joseph Finnes (45), Gladys Knight (71), La Toya Jackson (59), Rupert Everett (56), Stephen Gerrard (35), Colm Meaney (62), Noel Gallagher (48), Kylie Minogue (47), Jamie Oliver (40), Denise Van Outen (41) and Jim Broadbent (66).

Next Week peeps!

In a week where nothing seems to have happened in the celebrity death scene, I’ve managed to cobble together a small write up whilst pissed on Eurovision wine. Count yourselves lucky that anything at all was written! I best send out the evil flying monkeys again, otherwise next week will be just as dismal!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Dean Potter, 43, American rock climber, BASE-jumping accident.
• Charlotte Klamroth, 111, German supercentenarian, nation’s oldest person.
• State of Bengal, 50, Bangladeshi-born British DJ and music producer.
• Twinkle, 66, British singer-songwriter (“Terry“), cancer.
• Terry Sue-Patt, 50, British actor (Grange Hill).

In Other News

Sadly, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson has been given the all clear from cancer. Diagnosed during a routine check-up just before Christmas in 2014, a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy for a cancerous tumour on his tongue has been successful: “We are very happy to announce that following his recent MRI scan, Bruce was today officially given the all-clear by his specialists,” the band said in a statement. In a post on the Iron Maiden website, the 56-year-old artist thanked his fans, family and his medical team for their support and treatment which has led to this “amazing outcome.” There’s always a chance for a relapse isn’t there?

The family of F1 driver Jules Bianchi are still hoping for miracle but admit the situation has become “stagnant”, very much like the bowl of piss under my  bed. Bianchi, 25, has been unconscious since crashing into a recovery vehicle during last October’s Japanese Grand Prix. “While there’s life, there’s hope, even though after a while you are hoping for a miracle,” Philippe Bianchi said. He added: “We have to think about death because we are in a situation where we know a lot of things can happen. It’s terrible. In neurological terms, I’m not sure he is able to do much now.”

Saudi Arabia is advertising for eight new executioners, recruiting extra staff to carry out an increasing number of death sentences usually done by public beheading. No special qualifications are needed for the jobs whose main role is “executing a judgment of death” but also involve performing amputations on those convicted of lesser offences. The Islamic kingdom is in the top five countries in the world for putting people to death, so you should keep this in mind when you make your next list! It ranked third in 2014, after China and Iran, and ahead of Iraq and the United States, according to Amnesty International figures. If you’re interested, a downloadable pdf application form is available. The job is classified as “religious functionary” and that it would be at the lower end of the civil service pay scale.

And finally, a Singaporean man has died after falling off a cliff and into the sea while attempting to take a selfie on an island off the coast of Bali in Indonesia. Mohamed Aslam Shahul, 21, was killed after losing his balance and falling into the sea from a two-metre high cliff, during a holiday with eight friends at the Sandy Bay Beach in Nusa Lembongan. Apparently he couldn’t swim… The news of his death emerged as another selfie-related incident was reported in Russia, a young woman accidentally shot herself in the head while taking a photograph of herself. The 21-year-old was said to have been posing while pointing a 9mm handgun to her head. She had found the gun at her Moscow office left behind by a security guard. While taking a selfie with one hand, she accidentally pressed the gun’s trigger instead of the shutter, shooting herself in the temple at close range, according to reports. The woman was in a “serious condition” today, a spokeswoman for Moscow’s Sklifosovsky hospital told RIA Novosti state news agency. Darwinism is not a theory people!

On This Day

• 1607 – One hundred English settlers disembark in Jamestown, the first English colony in America.
• 1895 – Henry Irving becomes the first person from the theatre to be knighted.
• 1930 – Amy Johnson lands in Darwin, Northern Territory, becoming the first woman to fly solo from England to Australia (she left on May 5 for the 11,000 mile flight).
• 1940 – Igor Sikorsky performs the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight.
• 1956 – The first Eurovision Song Contest is held in Lugano, Switzerland.
• 1960 – Following the 1960 Valdivia earthquake, the largest ever recorded earthquake, Cordón Caulle begins to erupt.

Deaths

• 1543 – Nicolaus Copernicus, Polish mathematician and astronomer (b. 1473)
• 1963 – Elmore James, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1918)
• 1974 – Duke Ellington, American pianist and composer (b. 1899)
• 1995 – Harold Wilson, English politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1916)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tina Fey (45), Sam Smith (23), Joan Collins (82), Pete Townshend (70), Naomi Campbell (45), Mr. T (63), Cher (69), Grace Jones (67), Jack Gleeson (23), Bill Paxton (60), Judge Reinhold (58), Morrissey (56), Enya (54), Trent Reznor (50), Jordan Knight (45), Sugar Ray Leonard (59), Busta Rhymes (43), Marvin Hagler (61), Andrea Corr (41) and Chow Yun Fat (60).

Next Week peeps!