Welcome all, to a points laden newsletter! Ash, Mark and Paula each get 125 points for correctly guessing that Jules Bianchi would die! Fair play to them all, that’s a huge score for someone that wasn’t one of the Big Three!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Satoru Iwata, 55, Japanese game programmer (Super Smash Bros., Pokémon), president and CEO of Nintendo (since 2002), bile duct cancer.
• Aubrey Morris, 89, British actor (A Clockwork Orange, Love and Death, The Wicker Man).
• Alan Kupperberg, 62, American comic book artist (The Amazing Spider-Man, Thor, Iron Man), thymus cancer.
• Jules Bianchi, 25, French Formula One driver, head injuries sustained in a race collision.

In Other News

South Africa’s Archbishop Desmond Tutu is in “good spirits” after his admission to hospital on Tuesday for an unspecified infection, his family says. His daughter Reverend Mpho Tutu said the infection was “below the belt” but was not in his prostate, where his cancer lies dormant and was being well cared for. It is going to take a few days before he returns home, she said in Cape Town. He retired from public life in 2011 but continues to travel widely. The 83-year-old Nobel peace laureate cancelled a planned trip to Rome in December following another infection. His hospitalization comes a few days after he renewed his wedding vows to his wife Leah Tutu to mark their 60th wedding anniversary.

Pelé has undergone surgery on his back in São Paulo,  according to reports. Local media reports say the 74-year-old was suffering from a trapped nerve and has had back surgery at the Albert Einstein hospital. Poor old Pelé underwent prostate surgery at the same hospital in May. The procedure was to treat a condition that creates urinary problems because of an enlarged prostate, doctors said at the time. Tests conducted after that surgery showed there were no tumours.

George HW Bush is in “fair condition” in a hospital after falling and breaking a bone in his neck and is expected to recover from the injury without surgery, his spokesman said. The former US president, who is 91, sustained the injury during a fall at his family home in Kennebunkport, Maine, on Wednesday. Bush’s spokesman was quick to downplay concerns, tweeting that the 41st president was “fine” but likely to be placed in a neck brace. He later added that Bush’s wife, Barbara, was said to have said: “A slip and fall is not going to take out a World War II pilot.” Bush – the oldest living former US president – was hospitalised in Houston over the Christmas period last year for treatment of shortness of breath. In 2012, he spent a lengthy spell in hospital to be treated for bronchitis and other complications. Bush also has lower-body Parkinsons, which causes a loss of balance, and has used wheelchairs since at least 2011. Think I’ll disagree with Barbara!

Cheering news from Buckingham Palace. The Queen has decided to stop breeding corgis or having any more young dogs, because she’s now 88 and can’t bear to leave them behind when she dies. If that’s not a glaring admission that she feels that she’s on the way out, then I don’t know what is!! I’ll not mention the Hitler salute…

And finally, a 101-year-old woman has said she felt no fear as she broke her own world record for being the oldest abseiler, by descending 94m down the side of the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth. Wind and rain did not deter Doris Long, who has been honoured with an MBE for her charity fundraising, as she abseiled down the tower. She last performed the feat on her 100th birthday in May 2014. Long said she was “living in hope” to be able to repeat the challenge next year, when she will be 102.

On This Day

• 1545 – The Tudor warship Mary Rose sinks off Portsmouth; in 1982 the wreck is salvaged in one of the most complex and expensive projects in the history of maritime archaeology.
• 1843 – Brunel’s steamship the SS Great Britain is launched, becoming the first ocean-going craft with an iron hull or screw propeller and becoming the largest vessel afloat in the world.
• 1900 – The first line of the Paris Métro opens for operation.
• 1983 – The first three-dimensional reconstruction of a human head in a CT is published.

Deaths

• 2013 – Mel Smith, English actor, director, and screenwriter (b. 1952)
• 2014 – James Garner, American actor, singer, and producer (b. 1928)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Donald Sutherland (80), Brigitte Nielsen (52), Harrison Ford (73), Kirsten Bell (35), Bill Cosby (78), Diane Kruger (39), Will Farrell (48), Elizabeth McGovern (54), Vin Diesel (48), Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (68), Forest Whitaker (54), David Hasselhoff (63), Corey Feldman (44), Phoebe Cates (52), Cheech Marin (69), Richard Branson (65), John Glenn (94), Cheryl Ladd (64), Richard Simmons (67), Patrick Stewart (75), Harry Dean Stanton (89), Jackie Earle Haley (54), Matthew Fox (49), Michael Flatley (57), Fatboy Slim (52) and Jesse Ventura (64).

Next Week peeps!

Welcome all,  we have points to award!!! Paul C. correctly guessed that Sakari Momoi would peg it, and so he has, plus he had him down as a Cert! 138 points awarded! Well done sir! Paul C. now takes the lead!

I was rather surprised no one had Omar Sharif, but you all know how cruel this game can be…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Diana Douglas, 92, British Bermudian-American actress (The Indian Fighter, Days of Our Lives, Planes, Trains and Automobiles), cancer.
• Amanda Peterson, 43, American actress (Can’t Buy Me Love, Explorers).
• Archduchess Dorothea of Austria, 95, Bavarian princess.
• Sakari Momoi, 112, Japanese supercentenarian, world’s oldest living man, kidney failure.
• Kathleen Snavely, 113, Irish supercentenarian, oldest ever Irish-born person.
• Jerry Weintraub, 77, American film producer (Ocean’s Eleven, Diner, The Karate Kid), chairman and CEO of United Artists, heart attacks.
• Irwin Keyes, 63, American actor (House of 1000 Corpses, The Jeffersons, The Flintstones).
• Roger Rees, 71, Welsh-American actor (Cheers, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, The West Wing), stomach cancer.
• Omar Sharif, 83, Egyptian actor (Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, Funny Girl), heart attack.

In Other News

Guitarist Wilko Johnson has revealed he remains clear of cancer after a pioneering and complex operation he underwent last year. The former Dr Feelgood star, who had pancreatic cancer, had a nine-hour procedure to remove a large tumour and extensive sections of his digestive system. “I still can’t believe this. They got the cancer. They got it all. I’ve been for regular check-ups. Nothing.” I was supposed to be dead, but here I am doing things like walking up the road to meet me mate for lunch. Enjoying a fry-up in the caff, looking out over the Thames Delta, watching the sun dancing on the water. Ha. Every day is filled with wonderful feelings.” Johnson, 67, had previously chosen to avoid treatment after being told he had a terminal illness when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2013.

Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro has appeared in public for the first time in more than a month. State television showed images of Mr Castro at a meeting with cheese experts near the capital, Havana. Castro, 88, handed power to his younger brother Raul in 2006 after struggling to recover from illness and is now rarely seen in public, and secrecy about his health means his public appearances are scrutinised by the media. Personally I think he looks like he’s on borrowed time, so keep your eye on him.

Ex-dictator Efrain Rios Montt is mentally unfit to be tried again on genocide charges, Guatemala’s forensic authority declared on Tuesday. Due to cognitive deterioration the 89-year-old would not be able to defend himself against charges that he was responsible for the killings of nearly 2,000 indigenous Maya during a particularly brutal stretch of the country’s 36-year civil war, the National Forensic Science Institute determined. The institute said: “He does not have full use of his mental faculties and he is not capable of correctly understanding the charges against him.” A convenient happenstance or awesome lawyers? You decide!

One Direction star Harry Styles let his effortlessly cool exterior drop for a moment at a concert last week. During the band’s show in San Diego, USA, Harry stumbled and fell, prompting screams from concerned fans. Unfortunately the singer emerged unscathed from the tumble. Sadly, the ‘band’ will be touring the UK in September.

On This Day

• 927 – Æthelstan, King of England, secures a pledge from Constantine II of Scotland that the latter will not ally with Viking kings, beginning the process of unifying Great Britain.
• 1543 – King Henry VIII of England marries his sixth and last wife, Catherine Parr, at Hampton Court Palace.
• 1962 – The Rolling Stones perform their first concert, at the Marquee Club in London, England, United Kingdom.
• 1963 – Pauline Reade, who was 16-years-old, disappears on her way to a dance at the British Railways Club in Gorton, England, the first victim in the Moors murders.

Deaths

• 1910 – Charles Rolls, English engineer and businessman, co-founded Rolls-Royce Limited (b. 1887)
• 1973 – Lon Chaney, Jr., American actor (b. 1906)
• 1999 – Bill Owen, English actor (b. 1914)
• 2013 – Alan Whicker, Egyptian-English journalist (b. 1925)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sofia Vergara (43), Kevin Bacon (57), Tom Hanks (59), Ringo Starr (75), Anjelica Huston (64), Sylvester Stallone (69), Courtney Love (51), O.J. Simpson (68), Fred Savage (39), Edie Falco (52), Dalai Lama (80), George W. Bush (69), Nancy Reagan (94), Kelly McGillis (58), Geoffrey Tambor (71), Huey Lewis (65), Suzanne Vega (56), RZA (46), Ned Beatty (78), Geoffrey Rush (64), Brian Dennehy (77), Richard Roundtree (73), Neil Tennant (61) and Jake LaMotta (94).

Next Week peeps!

Afternoon all, a quick update on the happenings of last week, alas not a lot happened and without the death of Val Doonican, we would be in a terrible state. I’ll not waffle on, let’s get to the non-existent news!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Chris Squire, 67, English bass guitarist (Yes), acute erythroid leukemia.
• Matti Makkonen, 63, Finnish telecommunications engineer, inventor of the SMS.
• Kauto Star, 15, French-born British-trained racehorse, dual winner of the Cheltenham Gold Cup, euthanized.
• Bruce Rowland, 74, British rock drummer (Fairport Convention).
• Edward Burnham, 98, English actor (To Sir, with Love, 10 Rillington Place, Doctor Who).
• Leonard Starr, 89, American cartoonist (ThunderCats).
• Val Doonican, 88, Irish singer and television presenter.

In Other News

Former children’s television presenter John Noakes has been found after disappearing during a walk on the island of Mallorca early on Tuesday morning in 35C heat. The former Blue Peter presenter, who has Alzheimer’s disease, was taken to hospital after he was found in a field. When located, the 81 year old was found to have a weak heartbeat and was suffering from dehydration, but is expected to recover. Noakes, who joined Blue Peter in 1965, was known for both his adventurous physical exploits, including what was at the time the longest free-fall parachute jump by a British civilian, and his association with one of the show’s resident dogs, border collie Shep, which died in 1987.

Sonia Manzano, who has played Maria on the US children’s programme Sesame Street for more than four decades, is retiring. Manzano, 65, joined the show in  1971 and became a series regular in 1974, giving helpful advice to characters like Big Bird and Elmo. She was also a writer on the show, winning 15 Emmy Awards for her work. We all know what happens when active people retire don’t we Poolers…

Joni Mitchell did have an aneurysm in March but is able to speak, a friend who acts as her conservator has said. Leslie Morris’s update on the Canadian singer’s condition follows an interview with US musician David Crosby, in which he said she was still unable to speak. “The truth is that Joni is speaking, and she’s speaking well,” said Morris on Mitchell’s official website. “She is resting comfortably in her own home and she’s getting better each day. A full recovery is expected.” Mitchell, 71, was found unconscious in her Los Angeles home on 31 March and taken to hospital.

On This Day

• 1687 – Isaac Newton publishes Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica.
• 1841 – Thomas Cook organises the first package excursion, from Leicester to Loughborough.
• 1937 – Spam, the luncheon meat, is introduced into the market by the Hormel Foods Corporation.
• 1946 – The bikini goes on sale after debuting during an outdoor fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris, France.
• 1948 – National Health Service Acts creates the national public health systems in the United Kingdom.
• 1954 – The BBC broadcasts its first television news bulletin.
• 1975 – Arthur Ashe becomes the first black man to win the Wimbledon singles title.
• 1996 – Dolly the sheep becomes the first mammal cloned from an adult cell.

Deaths

For the first time ever, nobody of any importance, or I’d heard of, died on this day in the past!!!

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tom Cruise (53), Lindsey Lohan (29), John Cusack (49), Pamela Anderson (48), Mike Tyson (49), Debbie Harry (70), Dan Aykroyd (63), Mel Brooks (89), Kathy Bates (67), Katherine Jenkins (35), Gary Busey (71), Michael Phelps (30), Liv Tyler (38), Larry David (68), Ashley Tisdale (30), Cheryl Cole (32), Missy Elliott (44), Carl Lewis (54), Jerry Hall (59), Montel Williams (59) and Yardley Smith (51).

Next Week peeps!

Welcome all,  we have points to distribute!!  Well done to Julie and Liz for correctly guessing that Patrick Mcnee would die this year, 57 points each! We almost had more to hand out, but it was Dick Van Patten who died, not Dick Van Dyke! I bet you all nearly shat yourselves when you saw that! So, a slight change in the league table, with six months to go.

Now we’re at the halfway point, some of us are doing quite well, some of us not so well. I personally thought my list was the bomb this year, but seeing I’m yet to score, I’m slightly mistaken. Oh well, you never know what will happen, one minute you’re enjoying a Tunisian holiday… Too soon?

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Earl Norem, 91, American comic book artist (Silver Surfer, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe).
• Nazar Singh, 111, Indian-born British longevity claimant, unverified oldest man in Europe.
• Tony Longo, 53, American character actor (Mulholland Drive, Angels in the Outfield, Eraser).
• Carl Thompson, 33, British record holder, nation’s heaviest man.
• Don Featherstone, 79, American artist and inventor of the plastic pink flamingo, Lewy body dementia.
• James Horner, 61, American composer (Titanic, Field of Dreams, Apollo 13), Oscar winner (1998), plane crash.
• Magali Noël, 83, French actress (Amarcord, La Dolce Vita) and singer.
• Dick Van Patten, 86, American actor (Eight Is Enough, Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men in Tights), complications from diabetes.
• Sir Chris Woodhead, 68, British educationalist, Chief Inspector for Ofsted (1994–2000), motor neurone disease.
• Patrick Macnee, 93, English-American actor (The Avengers, This Is Spinal Tap, A View to a Kill).

In Other News 

The UK’s heaviest man has been found dead in his Dover flat. Carl Thompson, who weighed 65 stone, had been housebound for more than a year. The fire brigade, police and ambulance staff took several hours to remove the 33 year old from his home. His body was removed using a small crane. Consuming 10,000 calories every day – four times the usual daily amount for a man – he reportedly spent about £200 a week on takeaways and online food shopping. Unable to walk or dress himself, Thompson was bathed and cooked for by a team of NHS carers. The owner of Thompson’s favourite takeaway – who would deliver food to his bedside using a key to his flat – spoke of sending him what may have been his final food order. Merdad Mohebbi, owner of nearby Q Pizza, told the Sun: “I can’t believe it. He had cut right down on what he was eating. He was only ordering one or two things a day. When I took the order he seemed happy enough. He was talking about how he was going to the hospital and they were going to do tests for him. He was full of life.”

The Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has apologised to his victims as he returned to court to be formally sentenced to death. “I am sorry for the lives I have taken, for the suffering that I have caused you,” he told the injured and bereaved. Tsarnaev and his brother killed three and injured 264 when they bombed the finish line of the marathon in 2013. What we are now concerned with is, how long will he be on Death Row? Are you confident that swift justice will be upheld? At 21 years old there’s a potential points windfall for anyone who lists him, but as with all Death Row inmates, appeals upon appeals tend to drag on over years.

Bobbi Kristina Brown’s condition has worsened and her family say she is now in a hospice to die. A statement released on behalf of the Houston family said that “despite the great medical care at numerous facilities, Bobbi Kristina Brown’s condition has continued to deteriorate, as of today, she has been moved into hospice care.” The news comes as a court case against Brown’s boyfriend, Nick Gordon is filed. The legal case accuses Gordon of only marrying Brown after she inherited a substantial amount of money and alleges that Gordon’s behaviour “caused, among other things, substantial bodily harm to Brown.” It also claimed that since Brown’s hospitalisation in January, Gordon has accessed her accounts and stole more than $11,000 (£7,000). Nice chap…

And finally, TV presenter Michelle Watt has been  found dead in her home at the age of 38, sadly she wasn’t famous enough to feature on the main list as she does not have a Wiki entry under her own name. Police discovered her body on Wednesday evening after being called to an address in Airth, near Falkirk. The former 60 Minute Makeover host had also worked on programmes including the Scottish dating show Club Cupid and STV’s The Hour. Apparently there are no suspicious circumstances to report, other than she died.

On This Day

• 1838 – Coronation of Victoria of the United Kingdom.
• 1880 – The Australian bushranger Ned Kelly is captured at Glenrowan.
• 1914 – Franz Ferdinand, Archduke of Austria and his wife Sophie are assassinated in Sarajevo by Bosnia Serb nationalist Gavrilo Princip, the casus belli of World War I.
• 1919 – The Treaty of Versailles is signed in Paris, bringing fighting to an end in between Germany and the Allies of World War I.
• 1948 – Boxer Dick Turpin beats Vince Hawkins at Villa Park in Birmingham to become the first black British boxing champion in the modern era.
• 1964 – Malcolm X forms the Organization of Afro-American Unity.
• 1969 – Stonewall Riots begin in New York City, marking the start of the Gay Rights Movement.
• 1997 – Holyfield–Tyson II: Mike Tyson is disqualified in the 3rd round for biting a piece off Evander Holyfield‘s ear.

Deaths

• 1914 – Sophie, Duchess of Hohenberg (b. 1868)
• 1914 – Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria (b. 1863)
• 1976 – Stanley Baker, Welsh actor and producer (b. 1927)
• 2001 – Joan Sims, English actress (b. 1930)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Bernie Kopell (82), Lana Del Rey (30), Kris Kristofferson (79), Meryl Streep (66), Cyndi Lauper (62), Randy Couture (52), Francis McDormand (58), Selma Blair (43), KT Tunstall (40), Melissa Rauch (35), Zinedine Zidane (43), Jeff Beck (71), Mick Fleetwood (68), Lionel Messi (28), Carly Simon (70), Ricky Gervais (54), George Michael (52), Chris Isaak (59), Jason Schwartzman (35), JJ Abrams (49) and Tobey Maguire (40).

Next Week peeps!

Afternoon my morbid minions, we have points to disburse! Well done Dave and Paul C. for correctly guessing that Jeralean Talley, the worlds oldest living person (now not so much), would kick the bucket this year. 34 points each. I know, not many points, but it’s still 34 more than most of us have.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Rick Ducommun, 62, Canadian actor (The ‘Burbs, Scary Movie, Die Hard), complications from diabetes.
• Blaze Starr, 83, American stripper, burlesque comedienne and club owner, subject of Blaze.
• Ron Clarke, 78, Australian long distance runner, Olympic bronze medalist (1964), Mayor of the Gold Coast (2004–2012), kidney failure.
• Nelson Doubleday, Jr., 81, American publisher (Doubleday) and Major League Baseball team owner (New York Mets), pneumonia.
• Jeralean Talley, 116, American supercentenarian, world’s oldest living person.

In Other News

Veteran actor Sir John Hurt has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The 75-year-old, who was Oscar-nominated for his role in 1980’s The Elephant Man, said he would continue working despite the diagnosis. “I am undergoing treatment and am more than optimistic about a satisfactory outcome, as indeed is the medical team,” he told the Press Association. “I am continuing to focus on my professional commitments and will shortly be recording Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell (one of life’s small ironies!) for BBC Radio 4,” he said.

In the same vein, Tommy Chong, one half of the 1970s comedy duo Cheech and Chong, reveals he has rectal cancer. “I have good news and bad news. First the bad  news, the cancer came back and it is a real pain in the butt,” the 77-year-old comedian tweeted. “The good news is I now have to use more marijuana to treat the cancer.” Chong was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago, and cited marijuana as a key player in his recovery. It can’t have helped that much if it came back!

Leading on, we have reports of former dance-pop singer George Michael being in rehab over marijuana use. The 51-year-old has checked in to the Switzerland-based Kusnacht Practice to receive treatment for substance abuse, after having “admitted to have consumed up to 25 joints per day”. Once described as “the world’s most expensive rehab clinic”, the facility near to Zurich charges around €100,000 (£72,000) for treatment and has previously been used by other famous clients, including designer John Galliano. The clinic released a statement saying: “We can neither confirm nor deny that George Michael is a patient with us.” In March last year, Michael said he had not used cannabis for “well over a year-and-a-half”, so he must be making up for lost time…

Colin Montgomerie checked into hospital due to chest pains early on Sunday but was cleared in time to play his final round at the Senior Players Championship in Massachusetts. The Briton, considered one of the best players never to have landed a regular major title, has won three major championships in the over-50s ranks since joining the tour in 2013. The Scot said he felt discomfort at the end of his third round but returned to the course on Sunday after treatment. “I decided the prudent thing was to go in and get checked,” Montgomerie said. “I had all these CAT scans and all this stuff. I had two hours to do it this morning and the staff of the hospital was superb.”At 51 years of age, Montgomorie has at least won one major title, that of Oldest Living Scotsman. Anyone feeding him deep fried battered pizza will be disqualified.

In more golfing drama, Australian golfer Jason Day has collapsed on the final hole of his second round at the US Open Championship in Washington with a bout of vertigo! Day was walking down the ninth, his final hole of the day, when he collapsed. After a delay of several minutes, he got back to his feet and made a bogey. Day has been suffering from fatigue and dizzy spells for the better part of a year, withdrawing from last year’s World Golf Championship Bridgestone Invitational after a bout and once again having issues in 2015. The 27-year-old has taken a series of tests over the last month to try to pinpoint the problem but has yet to get an answer. Brain tumour anyone?

Writer and artist Alasdair Gray has been seriously injured after a fall at his home. An ambulance was called to the 80 year old’s house in the West End of Glasgow at around 2am on Thursday, and he was taken to hospital for treatment. He is best known as author of the novel Lanark, but is also regarded for his artwork – including a series of murals. His injuries are not believed to be life threatening at this time but we all know what a fall does to an 80 year old!!

And finally, if you go down to the woods today, you might be in for a huge surprise, like a man taking his regular morning stroll who was killed by an elephant that had escaped from a nearby circus. The 65-year-old was walking in the woods near Buchen, a town in south-west Germany, when the African elephant attacked him shortly after 5am local time. What the fuck he was doing in the woods at 5am wasn’t explained and Police declined to say what injuries the unnamed man suffered. The 34-year-old female elephant, called Baby, was captured and returned to the circus. Police are now investigating whether someone let the elephant out of its secure enclosure, and why the animal acted aggressively toward the man.

On This Day

• 1854 – The first Victoria Cross is awarded during the bombardment of Bomarsund in the Åland Islands.
• 1948 – Columbia Records introduces the long-playing record album in a public demonstration at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York, New York.
• 1982 – John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
• 2004 – SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.

Deaths

• 1377 – Edward III of England (b. 1312)
• 1652 – Inigo Jones, English architect (b. 1573)
• 2001 – John Lee Hooker, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1916)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Donald Trump (69), Boy George (54), Steffi Graf (46), Jim Belushi (61), Helen Hunt (52), Courtney Cox (51), Ice Cube (46), Neil Patrick Harris (42), Barry Manilow (72), Newt Gingrich (72), Venus Williams (35), Paul McCartney (73), Isabella Rossellini (63), Alison Moyet (54), Richard Madden (29), Kathleen Turner (61), Paula Abdul (53), Mia Sara (48), Zoe Saldana (37), Olympia Dukakis (84), Martin Landau (87), Danny Aiello (82), Brian Wilson (73), Lionel Richie (66), John Goodman (63), Nicole Kidman (48) and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (26).

Next Week peeps!