Welcome minions of the macabre, we have some points to award!! Congratulations to Wombat, Sophie and Sylvia, who correctly guessed that Maureen O’Hara would finally kick the bucket this year, 55 points each!! Quite surprising that only three of us listed her, she’s been a stalwart of the Dead Pool for years, perhaps many of you began to think she was going to live forever, like poor Shân mentioned in her email. Otherwise a quiet week death-wise, however it might be time to revisit Coronation Street for next year, there are plenty of ex-stars just waiting to be listed!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Michael Meacher, 75, British politician, MP for Oldham West (1970–1997) and Oldham West and Royton (since 1997).
• Cory Wells, 74, American singer (Three Dog Night).
• Peter Baldwin, 82, British actor (Coronation Street).
• Kirsty Howard, 20, British fundraiser.
• Maureen O’Hara, 95, Irish-American actress (Miracle on 34th Street, The Quiet Man, How Green Was My Valley).

In Other News

Dutch legend Johan Cruyff has lung cancer, according to reports in Spain. The 68-year-old – who won three successive European Cups with Ajax before going on to play for and manage Barcelona – was diagnosed last Tuesday, it was reported on Spanish radio station RAC1 and Catalan newspaper Mundo Deportivo on Thursday morning. A statement on his official website said the cancer had been discovered following recent tests in Barcelona. “Over the past weeks, Johan Cruyff has been undergoing medical examinations at a hospital in Barcelona. During these examinations, lung cancer has been uncovered. The examinations are still ongoing,” the statement said. “To respect the privacy of Johan and his family, and the fact that the examinations have not been finalised, further announcements cannot be made at the moment.” Formerly a heavy smoker, he had double heart bypass surgery in 1991 while he was still in charge of Barcelona, a role he eventually left in 1996. In his prime, Cruyff was considered one of the world’s greatest players in the world at a time when Pelé, George Best and Franz Beckenbauer could all lay claim to the title. Let’s see if his former fitness makes a difference now.

Also in Cancer news, Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh says he has bladder cancer and will have to postpone concerts in California later this month. The guitarist made the announcement on the website for his restaurant in San Rafael, California.  He said he was diagnosed earlier this month and has been treated at a clinic in Arizona, where he will have surgery to remove his tumours. The illness means Lesh has had to postpone his shows on the 24th and 25th October. The gigs with the former Black Crowes frontman were scheduled to take place at Lesh’s restaurant, Terrapin Crossroads. Lesh, 75, wrote: “I am very fortunate to have the pathology reports show that the tumours are all non-aggressive, and that there is no indication that they have spread.” He added that the postponed shows would be rescheduled “as soon as we can”. Lesh, one of the founding members of the Grateful Dead, was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2006 but underwent surgery and made a full recovery.

The Vatican has rejected as “seriously irresponsible” an Italian newspaper report that Pope Francis has a small but curable tumour on his brain. The Quotidiano newspaper said the Pope had travelled by helicopter to Tuscany to see a world-renowned Japanese brain surgeon. The Pope was diagnosed with a small, dark spot but did not need surgery, the paper said. A Vatican spokesman said the report was totally unfounded. “As everyone can see, the Pope is carrying out his extremely intense activities in an absolutely normal manner,” Father Federico Lombardi said. Quotidiano insisted that its story was true, maintaining that the Pope had visited Prof Takanori Fukushima some months ago at the San Rossore clinic in the Barbaricina area of Pisa. It quoted an unnamed employee at the clinic saying such a small tumour could be treated and did not need any kind of surgical intervention. The paper’s editor, Andrea Cangini, said the denial was understandable and had been expected. Earlier this year, Pope Francis, 78, indicated his papacy may last only a few years, and that he might retire like his predecessor Benedict XVI, who stepped down as pontiff in 2013, which sounds like his brain tumour diagnosis may be be true!

Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker has said he offered friends $1m to kill him after a plane crash that left him badly burned. In September 2008, Barker was one of the passengers aboard a Learjet that crashed while taking off from Columbia Metropolitan Airport in South Carolina. Four of the six people on the plane died, while the other two – Barker and Adam Goldstein, who worked together in the group TRV$DJAM – were badly burned. Goldstein died a little under a year later of a drug overdose, from a combination of cocaine and prescription drugs given to him after the crash. Barker spent four months in hospital, undergoing surgery 27 times, after being burned across 65% of his body. He appeared on ABC News and said he had pleaded with friends to take his life. “I would call friends of mine and go, ‘You know, I’ll deposit a million dollars into whoever’s bank account.’ [Hospital staff] had to take my phone out of my room.” Anyone feeling that their pockets are a bit empty should contact his agent.

For those of you who give a shit, according to search warrant records, Lamar Odom is believed to have overdosed on cocaine and other drugs before he was found unconscious in a Nevada brothel. On Wednesday, Odom and the reality TV star Khloe Kardashian filed a court petition dismissing a divorce filing from December 2013. A clerk granted the request in such a way that the divorce papers can be refiled at a later date, making sure that she get’s any money due her as a wife if he dies, and making sure she can divorce I’m if he survives. Let’s hope he survives so we can see him prosecuted for soliciting prostitutes and taking Class A drugs.

On This Day

• 1415 – The army of Henry V of England defeats the French at the Battle of Agincourt.
• 1760 – George III becomes King of Great Britain.
• 1854 – The Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War (Charge of the Light Brigade).
• 1917 – Traditionally understood date of the October Revolution, involving the capture of the Winter Palace, Petrograd, Russia.

Deaths

• 1400 – Geoffrey Chaucer, English philosopher, poet, and author (b. 1343)
• 1993 – Vincent Price, American actor and singer (b. 1911)
• 2002 – Richard Harris, Irish-English actor and singer (b. 1930)
• 2004 – John Peel, English radio host and producer (b. 1939)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Bristol Palin (25), Jean-Claude Van Damme (55), Zac Efron (28), Trey Parker (46), Evander Holyfield (53), Tom Petty (65), Viggo Mortensen (57), Snoop Dogg (44), Danni Minogue (44), Judge Judy (73), Carrie Fisher (59), Kim Kardashian (35), Ken Watanabe (56), Christopher Lloyd (77), Catherine Deneuve (72), Jeff Goldblum (63), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (40), Ang Lee (61), Weird Al Yankovic (56), Cat Deeley (39), Ryan Reynolds (39), Pele (75), Bill Wyman (79), F. Murray Abraham (76) and Kevin Kline (68).

Next week peeps!

Good afternoon minions! A reasonably quiet week to report upon, no points to award and precious few celebrities have kicked the bucket. But Winter is coming, and if previous years are anything to go by, the cold snap works wonders.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Richard Davies, 89, Welsh character actor (Please Sir!, Zulu), Alzheimer’s disease.
• Joan Leslie, 90, American actress (High Sierra, Sergeant York, Yankee Doodle Dandy).
• George Mueller, 97, American space engineer, Associate Administrator of the NASA Office of Manned Space Flight (1963–1969).
• Bruce Hyde, 74, American educator and actor (Star Trek), throat cancer.
• Sue Lloyd-Roberts, 64, British television journalist (BBC, ITN), leukaemia.
• Andrew Rubin, 69, American actor (Police Academy, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman), lung cancer.
• Howard Kendall, 69, English football player and manager (Blackburn Rovers, Everton).

In Other News

Singer Dolly Parton has issued a statement denying she has stomach cancer,  following reports in the US that she was rushed to hospital. The 69-year-old country star made the declaration following a story in the National Enquirer that she had been rushed to hospital. “There is absolutely no truth at all that I have stomach cancer,” the statement on her website said. “It is true that I had kidney stones,” she said. “I had them removed three weeks ago and I am doing just fine!” Parton added that she was already back at work following the operation. “I am back to work and last week I was at Dollywood filming parts for my new movie Coat of Many Colours,” she wrote. “I love and appreciate everyone’s concern.” So that’s us told!

A spokeswoman for Lamar Odom’s said that the NBA star has woken up and talked, three days after being found unconscious at a Nevada  brothel. Odom had been unconscious at a Las Vegas hospital since being found Tuesday at the Love Ranch brothel in Crystal, Nevada. Authorities are still retracing Odom’s $75,000, three-day visit to the brothel that started late afternoon Saturday, with blood test results to determine what caused his medical episode still pending. The brothel’s owner said that he chose two women to accompany him in a VIP suite on his first visit to the ranch. Odom had said that he had taken cocaine before his arrival, and the brothel said they saw him drink alcohol and take as many as 10 supplements sold as “herbal Viagra”. The brothel also said he became upset on Sunday following a phone call where his former wife’s television show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, was mentioned. But he was generally in a good mood, even suggesting that he stay an entire week at the brothel in the rural community. Odom was then found unconscious on Tuesday with white and reddish substances coming from his nose and mouth. He was breathing and taken to Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center in Las Vegas. Classy bloke!

Sir John Hurt has said he’s overjoyed and thrilled after being given the all-clear by doctors less than four months after he disclosed that he had pancreatic cancer. The 75-year-old actor, known for his roles in The Elephant Man, Nineteen Eighty-Four and the Harry Potter films, revealed he had overcome the disease to an audience at the Man Booker prize ceremony in London. “I had a final scan and it’s all gone brilliantly, I had the final scan yesterday and I saw my oncologist this morning. I am overjoyed, I am thrilled. It all looks great for the future, it’s fantastic.” Hurt had first revealed his cancer diagnosis in June, but said at the time he was “more than optimistic” about his future and kept working during his chemotherapy treatment.

Placido Domingo is to have surgery to have his gallbladder removed, forcing him to miss conducting engagements at New York’s Metropolitan Opera. “It is expected this minimally invasive procedure will allow him to resume his activities after a brief hospital stay,” the Met said in a statement. Domingo had been due to conduct four performances of Tosca in October, but will now return on 2nd November. The 74-year-old was admitted to hospital on Tuesday after suffering inflammation of his gallbladder and will have an operation early next week. He has had a number of health problems in recent years. In 2010, he underwent an operation to remove a cancerous polyp from his colon, returning to performing just weeks after the surgery. And in 2013 he was treated for a blood clot in his lung, forcing him to miss several concerts.

The world’s most-wanted drug boss, Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, narrowly evaded security forces searching for him in the north-west of Mexico in recent days, sustaining injuries to his face and leg, the Mexican government said on Friday. Guzmán, the head of the Sinaloa drug cartel, escaped from his high-security prison cell in July through a specially dug tunnel, causing a major embarrassment for the Mexican president, Enrique Peña Nieto. In a statement, the Mexican government said it had worked with international agencies to capture Guzmán, and that in recent weeks, efforts had been focused on the north-west of the country, not far from Guzmán’s native turf of Sinaloa state. “As a result of these actions, and to avoid his capture, in recent days, the fugitive engaged in a hasty retreat, which, according to the information received, caused him injuries to one leg and the face,” the government statement said.

The BBC presenter Victoria Derbyshire has thanked NHS staff in a video diary recorded soon after she underwent a mastectomy to treat cancer. In a short clip, which was posted on the Victoria Derbyshire Show’s Facebook site, Derbyshire holds up two pieces of paper with handwritten messages on them. “This morning I had breast cancer,” read on the first. “This evening I don’t,” read the second. “I feel all right. I can’t believe it. The NHS staff have been awesome. I am completely in awe of them. They are so inspiring and so caring and I feel so grateful to them,” says Derbyshire from her hospital bed. Derbyshire, who has presented on BBC radio and television, announced the news of the diagnosis in August. Doctors detected her condition the previous month.

And finally, the son of the peer Lord Lucan, who disappeared almost 41 years ago, has applied to have his father declared “presumed dead”. Lord Lucan vanished from his family home in London in 1974 following the death of family nanny Sandra Rivett. An inquest found he murdered her. There has since been speculation and stories about what happened to him. His son, George Bingham, told the West End Extra newspaper the application would provide “closure”. Despite the fact Lord Lucan was officially declared dead by the High Court in 1999, there have been reported sightings of him in Australia, Ireland, South Africa and New Zealand, and even claims he lived in India as a hippy called “Jungly Barry”. Mr Bingham, who was a child when his father disappeared, told West End Extra he was applying to the High Court under the Presumption of Death Act, which came into effect a year ago. He said the 1999 declaration had not proved death “for all purposes” and the new law allowed for a “more complete process”. The Presumption of Death Act was the result of a campaign supported by relatives of high-profile missing people including chef Claudia Lawrence, who disappeared in York in 2009, and Manic Street Preachers guitarist Richey Edwards, who went missing in 1995. So, technically Lord Lucan is still alive for our purposes.

On This Day

• 1851 – Herman Melville‘s Moby-Dick is first published as The Whale by Richard Bentley of London.
• 1867 – United States takes possession of Alaska after purchasing it from Russia for $7.2 million. Celebrated annually in the state as Alaska Day.
• 1922 – The British Broadcasting Company (later Corporation) is founded by a consortium, to establish a nationwide network of radio transmitters to provide a national broadcasting service.
• 1945 – Argentine military officer and politician Juan Perón marries actress Eva “Evita” Duarte.
• 1954 – Texas Instruments announces the first Transistor radio.
• 1968 – The U.S. Olympic Committee suspends Tommie Smith and John Carlos for giving a “Black Power” salute during a victory ceremony at the Mexico City games.

Deaths

• 1931 – Thomas Edison, American inventor and businessman, invented the light bulb and phonograph (b. 1847)
• 2007 – Alan Coren, English journalist and author (b. 1938)
• 2012 – Sylvia Kristel, Dutch model, actress, and singer (b. 1952)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Eminem (43), Angela Lansbury (90), Tim Robbins (57), Usher (37), Sacha Baron Cohen (44), Marie Osmond (56), Paul Simon (74), Hugh Jackman (47), Jane Krakowski (47), Emily Deschanel (39), Roger Moore (88), Ralph Lauren (76), Suzanne Somers (69), George Wendt (67), Wyclef Jean (46), Sarah Ferguson (56), Dominic West (46), Steve Coogan (50), Michelle Trachtenberg (30), Stephen Moyer (46), Cliff Richard (75) and Ernie Els (46).

Next week peeps!

My goodness! What a week for deaths! Those evil flying monkeys have certainly been very busy!! Alas, even with so many household names on todays roster, nobody managed to score. But I have to add that Liz also scored last week with Denis Healey, I missed it because his name was misspelt. So in the interest of clarity for next year, please make sure you spell their names correctly, otherwise my search will miss you out. I do sympathise though, who the hell spells Dennis as Denis!!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Larry Brezner, 73, American film producer (Good Morning Vietnam, Throw Momma From the Train, Ride Along).
• Henning Mankell, 67, Swedish author (Kurt Wallander), cancer.
• Jim Diamond, 64, Scottish singer-songwriter (“I Should Have Known Better”).
• Hugh Scully, 72, British television presenter (Antiques Roadshow).
• Gordon Honeycombe, 79, British newscaster, author and actor, leukemia.
• Geoffrey Howe, Baron Howe of Aberavon, 88, British politician, Chancellor of the Exchequer (1979–1983), Foreign Secretary (1983–1989), heart attack.
• Jerry Parr, 85, American Secret Service agent, extricated Ronald Reagan during assassination attempt, heart failure. 

In Other News

Sir Bruce Forsyth has suffered a fall at his home. The 87-year-old TV personality suffered cuts and a minor concussion but is otherwise unhurt. He underwent a series of scans and tests and was advised by doctors to have complete rest for at least a week. Forsyth had to pull out of hosting his BBC variety show Bruce’s Hall of Fame at London’s Dominion Theatre this weekend. The star was set to take to the stage alongside comedian Catherine Tate and Pointless presenter Alexander Armstrong, who will now take on the compere role. In a statement, Kalooki Pictures, who co-produce the show, said: “This morning, Sir Bruce Forsyth slipped and fell at his home resulting in facial abrasions and minor concussion. “He attended hospital and had a series of scans and tests all of which happily proved negative. However because of his injury, he has been told by doctors he must have complete rest for at least seven days.” Speaking after his fall, Forsyth said: “I was really looking forward to this show and working with such a talented cast, and I am really sad not to be part of it. It is now in the most capable hands of Alexander Armstrong and I would like to wish him, the guests and the whole production team good luck on Sunday.”

In the first of a new series on living with leukaemia, Clive James is surprised to find he’s still here! He writes: “A whole year ago I wrote a poem called Japanese Maple, which confidently stated that when the maple tree in my garden turned to flame in autumn, that would be the end of me. The poem was published in the New Yorker, at a time when the magazine’s paywall was temporarily out of commission, so a lot of people logged on. The poem went viral and attracted many sad assurances of fond farewell. Autumn came, the tree turned red and I was still here, steadily turning red myself as I realised that I had written myself into a corner. Winter arrived, there has been a whole other summer, and now the maple is just starting to do its flaming thing all over again, with me shyly watching.” Looks like he’ll be here for a good while yet!

Britain is the best place in the world to die, according to a new survey. Finally, some good news. Britons may have terrible weather, bad teeth, an underperforming rugby team, stupid telly, no style, a countryside that consists of car parks with puddles and cities so divertingly rubbish that they look as though they were devised by drunk chimps on a bet. The UK may, in short, be an awful place to live. But, according to a survey, the UK is the best place in the world in which to die. At least we’re good at something. So the next time you’re drinking a whiskey whilst watching Countdown, take heart that your body will be found and  dealt with accordingly as Britain does Death the best!

On This Day

• 1582 – Because of the implementation of the Gregorian calendar, this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain.
• 1910 – Former President Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first U.S. president to fly in an airplane. He flew for four minutes with Arch Hoxsey in a plane built by the Wright brothers at Kinloch Field.
• 1968 – Apollo program: NASA launches Apollo 7, the first successful manned Apollo mission, with astronauts Wally Schirra, Donn F. Eisele and Walter Cunningham aboard.
• 1975 – The NBC sketch comedy/variety show Saturday Night Live debuts with George Carlin as the host and Andy Kaufman, Janis Ian and Billy Preston as guests.
• 1982 – The Mary Rose, a Tudor carrack which sank on July 19, 1545, is salvaged from the sea bed of the Solent, off Portsmouth.
• 1984 – Aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger, astronaut Kathryn D. Sullivan becomes the first American woman to perform a space walk.
• 2001 – The Polaroid Corporation files for federal bankruptcy protection.

Deaths

• 1961 – Chico Marx, American actor and singer (b. 1887)
• 1963 – Jean Cocteau, French novelist, poet, and playwright (b. 1889)
• 2000 – Donald Dewar, Scottish lawyer and politician, 1st First Minister of Scotland (b. 1937)
• 2007 – Werner von Trapp, Austrian-American singer (b. 1915)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Dakota Johnson (26), Susan Sarandon (69), Liev Schreiber (48), Alecia Silverstone (39), Brian Johnson (68), Karen Allen (64), Bob Geldoff (64), Lena Headey (45), Kate Winslet (40), Jesse Eisenberg (32), Britt Ekland (73), Elizabeth Shue (52), Simon Cowell (55), Toni Braxton (48), Thom Yorke (7), Desmond Tutu (84), Vladimir Putin (63), Paul Hogan (75), Chevy Chase (72), Sigourney Weaver (66), Matt Damon (45), Bruno Mars (30), Rev. Jesse Jackson (74), Sharon Osbourne (63), Tony Shalhoub (62), Scott Bakula (61) and Sean Lennon (40).

Next Week peeps!

Welcome all, finally some points to award!!! With the death of the Labour giant Denis Healey, 52 points have been awarded thusly: Karen, Paul, Julie and Shan. Well done all of you, please take a look at the leader board, you will see that Paul is now cementing his lead at the top, but all it takes is the death of one of the Big Three to bring any of you back into the game!  So onwards with the newsletter, I promise not to mention the death of English rugby…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• John Guillermin, 89, British film director and producer (The Towering Inferno, King Kong, Shaft in Africa), heart attack
• Catherine E. Coulson, 71, American film and television actress (Twin Peaks), cancer.
• Donald Seawell, 103, American theatre producer and newspaper publisher.
• Denis Healey, 98, British politician, Secretary of State for Defence (1964-1970), Chancellor of the Exchequer (1974-1979).

In Other News

As everyone in their right mind knows, you’ve got to know when to walk away and when to run. And Kenny Rogers, the man who sang The Gambler, is heeding his own advice by announcing that he will retire after his next tour. The 77-year-old country legend wants to spend time with is wife and family before he dies. The country legend appeared on the Today show in the US, where he said: “I’ve done this long enough. There’s a fine line between being driven and being selfish, and I think I crossed that line when I was younger. I really want to be there with my kids and my wife. I don’t see enough of them. And I have some things on my bucket list.” Let’s hope that reversing his plastic surgery is on that list, seriously, he gives me nightmares!

In another retirement story, Ralph Lauren is giving the fashion empire he founded almost five decades ago a makeover – by stepping down as chief executive. However, Lauren is not going too far: he will remain with the company as executive chairman and chief creative officer. Born Ralph Lifshitz to Jewish immigrants from Belarus in the Bronx in 1939, Lauren changed his last name at the age of 16. He began his fashion career designing ties in 1967, with the Ralph Lauren polo shirt bearing the familiar logo following five years later. Now the 75 year old is reputed to be worth $6.4 billion, not bad for a one design wonder!

Jim Carrey has said he is shocked and deeply saddened after a former girlfriend is thought to have killed herself. Cathriona White, 30, an Irish-born makeup artist, was found dead in her Los Angeles apartment on Monday night, the deputy chief coroner Ed Winter said. Nobody blames her, I suspect shagging Carey would be a nightmare beyond all comprehension. The death was reported to authorities as a suicide but a final determination had yet to be made but a drug overdose is suspected. The celebrity website TMZ said White and Carrey, 53, met in 2012, had an on-and-off romance, and rekindled their relationship in May before splitting up last week. So it’s his fault!

The cause of death of Bobbi Kristina Brown – Whitney Houston’s daughter – has been determined, but officials say they will not reveal the post-mortem results. They say a court in the US state of Georgia ordered a medical examiner to seal the results. Bobbi Kristina, 22, died at a hospice on 26th July, six months after she was found unresponsive in a bath in her Atlanta flat. In a statement, the Fulton county medical examiner said Bobbi Kristina’s post-mortem results would not be publicly released on the order of the Fulton county superior court. “The Fulton County medical examiner has classified the cause and manner of Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death,” it said. Which now opens up many questions, was she killed and has it all been hushed up??

Harry Potter, the boy who lived, has died! Caio César Ignácio Cardoso de Melo, 27, who voiced the character in Portuguese, was reportedly killed on Thursday during an exchange of gunfire in Complexo de Alemão – one of Rio’s largest and most policed shanty towns. He provided the Portuguese voiceover for Potter in all eight films in the series, as a side venture to his main job as a police officer. According to local media reports, his death was confirmed by military police in Brazil and by Warner Bros studios. J.K. Rowling tweeted her condolences following the father-of-one’s death. Local police reported that Melo was shot in the neck when officers came under fire during a routine patrol of the sprawling shanty town. He was taken to hospital and underwent surgery but died from his injuries.

The German sports car manufacturer Porsche has issued a statement denying responsibility for the death of Fast & Furious star Paul Walker, who died in a high-speed crash in November 2013. Porsche released its statement to the media in response to a wrongful death lawsuit filed on 28th September by the actor’s daughter Meadow Walker in Los Angeles. “As we have said before, we are very sad whenever anyone is hurt in a Porsche vehicle, but we believe the authorities’ reports in this case clearly establish that this tragic crash resulted from reckless driving and excessive speed,” the manufacturer said. Meadow Walker claims in her suit that Porsche knew the car model had a “history of instability and control issues”. It is understood she is also questioning police reports that suggest the Carrera GT was travelling at around 90mph when the accident happened, arguing that the top speed reached by the vehicle was in fact just 71mph, which is obviously a safe speed. Way to go to tarnish your fathers demise you tart!

And finally, in a warning to all dog walkers, an Essex man has died after his dog dragged him into the path of an oncoming car. The 67-year-old was walking his dog in the Low Road area of Dovercourt on Monday night when it suddenly bolted on to the street. A car travelling on the road then struck the man, who suffered head injuries in the incident. He went home but later felt increasingly unwell. East of England ambulance service personnel attended the man’s home and transferred him to Colchester hospital, where he later died. The dog was not harmed in the incident. A neighbour said the man, who was thought to be retired, would take the animal for a walk every morning and evening. Moral of the story, get a cat!

On This Day

• 1535 – The first complete English-language Bible (the Coverdale Bible) is printed, with translations by William Tyndale and Myles Coverdale.
• 1582 – Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar. In Italy, Poland, Portugal, and Spain, October 4 of this year is followed directly by October 15.
• 1883 – First run of the Orient Express.
• 1957 – Space Race: Launch of Sputnik 1, the first artificial satellite to orbit the Earth.
• 2004 – SpaceShipOne wins Ansari X Prize for private spaceflight, by being the first private craft to fly into space.

Deaths

• 1669 – Rembrandt, Dutch painter and illustrator (b. 1606)
• 1947 – Max Planck, German physicist and academic, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1858)
• 1970 – Janis Joplin, American singer-songwriter (Big Brother and the Holding Company) (b. 1943)
• 1989 – Graham Chapman, English actor, singer, and screenwriter (b. 1941)
• 2010 – Norman Wisdom, English singer-songwriter, actor, and screenwriter (b. 1915)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Gwyneth Paltrow (43), Meat Loaf (68), Lil Wayne (33), Avril Lavigne (31), Naomi Watts (47), Dita Von Tesse (43), Jerry Lee Lewis (80), Ian McShane (73), Erika Eleniak (46), Johnny Mathis (80), Monica Bellucci (51), Kieran Culkin (33), Martina Hingis (35), Julie Andrews (80), Zack Galifianakis (46), Don McLean (70), Jimmy Carter (91), Sting (64), Annie Leibovitz (66), Chubby Checker (74), Roy Horn (71), Gwen Stefani (46), Neve Campbell (42), Sean William Scott (39), Clive Owen (51), Fred Couples (56), Lena Headey (42) and Brigitte Bardot (81).

Next Week peeps!

Welcome to the bumper two week edition of The Dead  Pool Newsletter, which isn’t as bumper as I would have liked as not many celebs have died in the last two weeks. However, we have plenty of news to get through and I have a good feeling about next week!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Max Beauvoir, 79, Haitian houngan and biochemist.
• Fred DeLuca, 67, American businessman, co-founder of Subway, leukemia.
• Jackie Collins, 77, British-American novelist, breast cancer.
• Brian Sewell, 84, British art critic.
• Jack Larson, 87, American playwright and actor (Adventures of Superman).

In Other News

The Who have been forced to postpone all 50 dates on their north American tour because frontman Roger Daltrey, 71, has viral meningitis. A statement on the Who’s website said the shows would be rescheduled for spring 2016 and added: “The band apologise to fans and realise that the postponement will cause an inconvenience for ticketholders. It wasn’t a decision taken lightly – the Who always give their fans 100% and were never going to compromise the show, but ultimately we had no alternative but to postpone.” Daltrey said: “I am now on the mend and feeling a lot better but I am going to need a considerable time to recover. The doctors tell me I will make a complete recovery, but that I should not do any touring this year.” Paedophile Pete Townshend added: “We are rescheduling all the shows for next spring 2016. Once Roger is completely well, we will come back stronger than ever and Roger and I will give you all a show to remember.”

The Dalai Lama cancelled his US appearances for  October after doctors at Minnesota’s Mayo clinic advised him to rest, his office said on Friday. The 80-year-old Tibetan Buddhist leader was at the clinic in Rochester this week for what was described as a ‘routine check-up’. “The doctors have advised His Holiness to rest for the next several weeks,” his office said on its website Friday. “We deeply regret the inconvenience caused by this decision and apologise to all the people who have worked so hard in organising the visit as well as to the public.” The statement gave no more details about the Dalai Lama’s condition and representatives did not immediately respond to an email seeking additional comment.

In what some would call a Dead Pool meeting of giants, Pope Francis met Cuba’s former President, Fidel Castro, after celebrating Mass in front of tens of thousands of people in Havana. The two men discussed world affairs, religion and who would die first, in what the Vatican called an “informal and friendly” encounter. Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi described the meeting between Pope Francis and Fidel Castro, which took place at the former Cuban leader’s home, as low-key with no flying monkeys seen anywhere. Shame that…

Following the last-minute cancellation of live dates last week, the Libertines have issued an official statement explaining that Pete Doherty had suffered a serious anxiety attack before their London show. The band’s scheduled gig at the Electric Ballroom in London on 10th September was called off two hours after the band were meant to be on stage, with a Manchester gig and an appearance on BBC Radio 1 also scrapped. In a statement published on Doherty’s website Albion Rooms, the band say that the decision to cancel the shows came from management “who felt it important to ensure Peter’s welfare is a priority in line with any other ongoing treatment”.

Former Tory cabinet minister Lord Parkinson has retired from the House of Lords. Cecil Parkinson, 84, was first elected as MP for Enfield West in 1970 and served as secretary of state for trade and industry under Margaret Thatcher, who’s thankfully already dead. He was forced to resign as trade secretary in 1983 after revelations that his former secretary, Sara Keays, was pregnant with his child, but went on to serve as secretary of state for energy and transport in later years. He became a member of the House of Lords in 1992 and is the latest to take advantage of new rules allowing peers to retire from the house. And we all know what happens to men who retire!

Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist party (DUP) leader has been discharged from hospital. Peter Robinson, 66, was admitted to Belfast’s Royal Victoria hospital on Saturday after suffering an adverse reaction to prescribed medication. A DUP spokesman confirmed Robinson would be fit enough to attend crucial talks to resolve the political crisis engulfing the powersharing political institutions at Stormont on Monday. In May, Robinson spent four nights at the hospital after suffering a suspected heart attack and had three stents fitted to help the flow of blood. At the time, he blamed his illness on a diet of fast food and lack of exercise, rather than the stress of his job.

The billionaire founder of Phones4U has revealed that his whole family have been struck down by the potentially deadly Lyme disease. Earlier this month John Caudwell told the media of his 20-year-old son Rufus’s long struggle with the disease, which started with “panic attacks, serious agoraphobia and a terror of sickness” before being correctly diagnosed in February. Now Mr Caudwell has admitted that he, his former wife, Kate McFarlane, and their two daughters, Rebekah, 35, and Rhiannon, 27, have all tested positive for Lyme disease as well. Lyme disease is a bacterial infection that can spread to humans through ticks. There are around 2,000 to 3,000 new cases in England and Wales every year. His estimated £2bn fortune has allowed him to pay for private treatment, which he acknowledges others cannot afford, but his billions still didn’t stop a tick biting him on the arse.

And finally, unsurprisingly there have been more ‘selfie’ related fatalities than shark attack deaths this year. Which begs the question, why are we not culling anyone who pouts into an iPhone? That seemed to be the answer towards the shark problem… This years count now stands at 12 deaths due to Darwinian intervention. One man was mangled in Spain after trying to snap a pic during a bull run, and two Russian men met their demise while photographing themselves with a live grenade. A woman even managed to shoot herself in the head while posing with a gun. Let’s hope the trend continues…

On This Day

• 1066 – William the Conqueror and his army set sail from the mouth of the River Somme, beginning the Norman conquest of England.
• 1822 – Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone.
• 1905 – The physics journal Annalen der Physik received Albert Einstein‘s paper “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?”, introducing the equation E=mc².
• 1998 – The Google internet search engine retrospectively claims this as its birthday.
• 2005 – After 162 episodes, Tom and Jerry airs its final episode titled, The Karate Guard.

Deaths

• 1979 – Gracie Fields, English-Italian actress and singer (b. 1898)
• 1979 – Jimmy McCulloch, Scottish singer-songwriter and guitarist (One in a Million, Small Faces, Wings, Thunderclap Newman, and The Dukes) (b. 1953)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sophia Loren (81), Stephen King (68), Bill Murray (65), Faith Hill (48), Ricki Lake (47), Alfonso Ribeiro (44), Liam Gallagher (43), Nick Cave (58), Joan Jett (57), Andrea Bocelli (44), Tom Felton (28), Julio Iglesias (72), Bruce Springsteen (66), Michael Douglas (71), Mark Hamill (64), Michael Madsen (57), Heather Locklear (54), Will Smith (47), Catherine Zeta-Jones (46), Bryan Ferry (70), Olivia Newton-John (67) and Serena Williams (34).

Next Week peeps!