Another week passes and so do a few celebrities. Alas no points to award and with little over two months left to go things are still tight at the top of the leader board. Maybe some of you realise now how hard it is to have a successful list. A lot of research and time can be spent finalising a winning list, so as I said, with little over two months to go, get yourself researching for 2017!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Sheri S. Tepper, 87, American science fiction author.
• Pete Burns, 57, English singer-songwriter (Dead or Alive), cardiac arrest.
• Jimmy Perry, 93, English actor and screenwriter (Dad’s Army, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, Hi-de-Hi!).
• Bobby Vee, 73, American pop singer (“Rubber Ball“, “Take Good Care of My Baby“, “The Night Has a Thousand Eyes“) and actor, Alzheimer’s disease.
• Takahito, Prince Mikasa, 100, Japanese royal, cardiac arrest.

 In Other News

Rick Parfitt has quit Status Quo after 50 years following his recent heart attack. The 68-year-old ‘died’ for several minutes after suffering a huge heart attack in Turkey in June, and it’s now been confirmed that he has stopped touring on health grounds. The Rocking All Over The World guitarist will be replaced by Ritchie Malone for the band’s current arena tour. In an statement, the band said: ‘Status Quo today confirm that Rick Parfitt will indeed, as previously reported, step back from his regular touring commitments with the band.  This is for reasons of health, following his recent heart attack. ‘Status Quo would, however, like to make it completely clear that – contrary to some inaccurate reports this week – Rick’s connection with and within the band of course remains intact and that he will continue to be involved with future non-touring commercial activities of the band.’ In an interview with Classic Rock, he said: ‘I do wish Richie Malone all the best. He’s a fucking good little player and it must be all of his dreams come true.’

Bad news if you’re a Catholic, the ashes of the cremated cannot be kept at home, scattered or divided among family members, the Vatican has announced in new guidelines. The two-page instruction by the Vatican’s department on doctrine said ashes of the dead must be kept in “sacred places” such as cemeteries. It also stressed that the Roman Catholic Church still preferred burials over cremations. The Vatican allowed cremation in 1963 but has always frowned on the practice, they much rather you rot instead. The Vatican said it was issuing the new guidelines to counter “new ideas contrary to the Church’s faith”. The guidelines reiterated that Catholics who chose to be cremated “for reasons contrary to the Christian faith” must be denied a Christian funeral. Nice bunch of people these Catholics.

And finally, in what can be classed as a Darwinian moment, a US college student has crashed into a police car while taking a topless selfie behind the wheel, say officials. Miranda Rader, 19, rear-ended the patrol vehicle while sending nude photos to her boyfriend through the social media app Snapchat. The accident on Wednesday in Bryan, about 100 miles (160km) north of Houston, caused the airbag to deploy. The Texas A&M University student also had an open bottle of wine in a cup holder by her, according to police. The officer whose car had been hit approached Ms Rader to find she had an “unclasped brassiere” and was trying to put on her blouse. The arresting officer wrote in an affidavit: “I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at a red light.” She was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and released from jail on Thursday morning on a $2,000 (£1,600) bail bond. No one was injured in the incident.

On This Day

• 1925 – John Logie Baird creates Britain’s first television transmitter.
• 1938 – Orson Welles broadcasts his radio play of H. G. Wells‘s The War of the Worlds, causing anxiety in some of the audience in the United States.
• 1944 – Anne and Margot Frank are deported from Auschwitz to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, where they die from disease the following year, shortly before the end of WWII.
• 1960 – Michael Woodruff performs the first successful kidney transplant in the United Kingdom at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.
• 1961 – Nuclear testing: The Soviet Union detonates the hydrogen bomb Tsar Bomba over Novaya Zemlya; at 50 megatons of yield, it remains the largest explosive device ever detonated, nuclear or otherwise.
• 1974 – The Rumble in the Jungle boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman takes place in Kinshasa, Zaire. Ali wins by KO in the eighth round, regaining the title of World Heavyweight Champion and causing Foreman´s first professional defeat.

Deaths

• 1979 – Barnes Wallis, English scientist and engineer, invented the Bouncing bomb (b. 1887)
• 2015 – Al Molinaro, American actor (b. 1919)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ang Lee (62), Weird Al Yankovic (57), Cat Deeley (40), Ryan Reynolds (40), Bill Wyman (80), F. Murray Abraham (77), Kevin Kline (69), Tila Tequila (35), Nancy Cartwright (59), Katy Perry (32), Wayne Rooney (31), Cary Elwes (54), Seth McFarlane (43), Jon Heder (39), Hillary Clinton (69), John Cleese (77), Simon LeBon (58), Kelly Osbourne (32), Charlie Daniels (80), Annie Potts (64), Julia Roberts (49), Joaquin Phoenix (42), Bill Gates (61), Kate Jackson (68), Dan Castellaneta (59), Rufus Sewell (49) and Winona Ryder (45).

The Last Word

“Yes, a bullet-proof vest.” – James W. Rodgers

• Asked if he has any last requests before facing a firing squad.

Next week peeps!

Welcome to this weeks edition of the Dead Pool, where more renowned horses have died than famous people.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Junko Tabei, 77, Japanese mountaineer, peritoneal cancer
• Raine Spencer, Countess Spencer, 87, British socialite and politician.
• Steve Dillon, 53, English comic book artist (Preacher, The Punisher).
• Rough Quest, 30, British racehorse, winner of the 1996 Grand National.
• Moscow Flyer, 22, Irish racehorse.
• Monarchos, 18, American thoroughbred racehorse and stallion.

In Other News

Edward Furlong has been spotted looking unrecognisable more than two decades after he shot to fame and became one of Hollywood’s hottest pin-ups. The actor has been pictured at a shopping mall in Los Angeles this week, and he looks a world away from the fresh-faced young man who captured the hearts of fans across the globe. Edward, now 39, looked tired as he walked around the shops with a female friend. He wore a T-shirt, which appeared to be inside out, with frayed jeans and he kept his long hair off his face with a pair of Aviator-style sunglasses. The former movie star carried a plastic carrier bag and appeared preoccupied as he trudged around the mall. He shot to fame playing young John Connor in 1991 blockbuster Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and went on to become one of Tinseltown’s hottest properties. The actor landed roles in movies such as American Heart, American History X and Detroit Rock City, and cemented his place as a Hollywood heartthrob. His popularity waned after the 1990s and he has won less lucrative roles in recent years. Edward also suffered a slew of personal problems including a well-documented battle with drink and drug addiction. He has also served time in jail following numerous brushes with the law, and has been treated in rehab. Next years Maverick anyone?

The latest episode in the serial adventurer Leonardo DiCaprio’s continuous brush with death has been revealed. The Titanic actor ended up being saved by his friend the actor Edward Norton after his oxygen tank began leaking on a diving expedition in 2010. Leonardo found himself unable to breathe and had to share Norton’s tank. Now, we at Dead Pool Towers have never dived, but we assume that you have a visual regulator that tells you how much oxygen you have left, so DiCaprio nearly died of stupidity as he could have easily resurfaced if he knew what he was doing. The hapless DiCaprio also recounted his various near-misses before explaining earlier this year he has nearly died three times. The 41 year old’s list involves an emergency plane landing after he witnessed “the entire wing explode in a fireball,” a great white shark entering his cage in South Africa and his parachute becoming knotted during a skydive.

And finally, a man may have cooked and eaten parts of a police officer’s corpse after strangling him, a court has heard. Stefano Brizzi, 50, is accused of murdering PC Gordon Semple, who had served with the Metropolitan police for 30 years, on 1st April after inviting him round for drug-fuelled sex, as you do. Brizzi admits dismembering and disposing of the 59-year-old police officer’s body, but claims his death was an accident and denies murder. At the Old Bailey on Friday, the prosecutor Crispin Aylett QC said Semple’s DNA was recovered from Brizzi’s oven, a cooking pot and chopsticks found in the flat. Additionally, possible bite marks were found on a rib in the kitchen dustbin and a leg bone showed signs of heat damage, he said. “It could be seen that the handle of the oven was bloodstained. Inside the oven, there was a pool of fat and grease,” Aylett told the jury. “This was found to contain a DNA profile that matched that of Gordon Semple.” One can only assume he tried to make a pulled pork, perhaps a stir-fry.

On This Day

• 1707 – The first Parliament of Great Britain meets.
• 2002 – Moscow theater hostage crisis: Chechen terrorists seize the House of Culture theatre in Moscow and take approximately 700 theatre-goers hostage.
• 2012 – After 38 years, the world’s first teletext service (BBC‘s Ceefax) ceases broadcast due to Northern Ireland completing the digital switchover.

Deaths

• 1915 – W. G. Grace, English cricketer and physician (b. 1848)
• 1950 – Al Jolson, Lithuanian-American actor and singer (b. 1886)
• 1957 – Christian Dior, French fashion designer, founded Christian Dior S.A. (b. 1905)
• 1984 – Oskar Werner, Austrian-German actor (b. 1922)
• 2001 – Josh Kirby, English illustrator (b. 1928)
• 2014 – Alvin Stardust, English singer and actor (b. 1942)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Angela Lansbury (91), Suzanne Somers (70), Tim Robbins (58), Michael McKean (69), George Wendt (68), Eminem (44), Wyclef Jean (47), Jean-Claude Van Damme (56), Zac Efron (29), Martina Navratilova (60), Pam Dawber (65), John Lithgow (71), Evander Holyfield (54), Viggo Mortensen (58), Snoop Dogg (45), Dannii Minogue (45), Judge Judy (74), Carrie Fisher (60), Ken Watanabe (57), Christopher Lloyd (78), Catherine Deneuve (73) and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (41).

The Last Word

“I do not believe in my death.” – Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

Next week peeps!

At last, after a long drought of  nothingness, we have points to award! Well done to Julia, Wombat and Mark for guessing that Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej would pass away this year, 62 points each, but Martin gets 162 for having him as a Cert, which also gives us a new points leader! Shockingly, we all missed out on Hilda Ogden, perhaps like me you thought she’d died years ago!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Gary Dubin, 57, American actor (The Partridge Family, The Aristocats, Diamonds Are Forever), bone cancer.
• Patricia Barry, 93, American actress (All My Children, The Guiding Light, Days of Our Lives).
• Robert Bateman, 80, American songwriter and record producer (“Please Mr. Postman“), heart attack.
• Bhumibol Adulyadej, 88, Thai monarch, King (since 1946), world’s longest-serving head of state.
• Jean Alexander, 90, English actress (Coronation Street, Last of the Summer Wine).

In Other News

The death of King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand means Queen Elizabeth II has become the world’s longest-reigning living monarch. The Queen became monarch at the age of 25 on the death of her father King George VI on 6 February 1952. Now 90, she has reigned for 64 years, eight months and ten days, or considerably more than two thirds of her life. Before his death on Wednesday at the age of 88, the Thai king had chalked up more than 70 years and four months on the throne. The Queen has a comfortable margin over the next longest-serving monarch, the Sultan of Brunei. Hassanal Bolkiah can boast 49 years and twelve days on the throne of the tiny, oil-rich Asian state, having ascended the throne on 4th October 1967. The wealthy Sultan is a car enthusiast, reportedly owning a private collection of up to 5,000 luxury sports cars. Qaboos bin Said al-Said has been Sultan of Oman since 1970, when he overthrew his father in a coup, giving him 46 years, 2 months on the throne so far. Prince Charles, incidentally, holds a world record of his own – as the longest-waiting heir apparent, surpassing his great-great-grandfather Edward VII who waited for more than 59 years for Queen Victoria to die. Her impressive stint is dwarfed, however, by the reign of Sobhuza II of Swaziland, whose period on the throne, from 1899 to 1982, overlapped with both the reign of Queen Victoria and the premiership of Margaret Thatcher. Having sired around 210 children by 70 wives in that time, he had more than 1,000 grandchildren at the time of his death.

Singer Janet Jackson has officially confirmed she is expecting her first child, at the age of 50. Speculation about her pregnancy surfaced in April when she postponed her ‘Unbreakable’ tour, saying she wanted to focus on planning a family with her husband, Wissam al-Mana. She was recently spotted in London shopping for baby essentials. A source close to the Jackson family said: “She is super excited about her pregnancy and is doing extremely well. She actually feels very good about everything.” Janet Jackson is far from the only famous face to give birth later in life. Oscar-winning Halle Berry had her second child at 47, three years ago, and John Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston gave birth to her third child at 48.

A giant panda believed to have been the oldest ever kept in captivity has died at the age of 38, officials say. The death of Jia Jia, whose age in human terms was more than 100 years, was announced by the Hong Kong theme park where she lived. Her condition had worsened rapidly in recent weeks and she had lost her appetite, according to local reports. She was put down by vets at Ocean Park, where she had lived since 1999. A Hong Kong government spokesman thanked the park for providing Jia Jia with care and support and added that it was “saddened” by the news. Born in 1978 in the wild in Sichuan, China, Jia Jia was given to Hong Kong in 1999 to mark the semi-autonomous city’s handover by Britain two years earlier. Pandas normally live to around 20 years of age in the wild, and 25 in captivity.

And finally, a father has claimed his 25-year-old son was brutally murdered and eaten by inmates during a month-long riot at a Venezuelan prison. Juan Carlos Herrara told local media his son, Juan Carlos Herrera Jr, was stabbed, hanged, dismembered and then eaten at the Táchira Detention Center. Mr Herrara’s son was jailed in 2015 for robbery and had become caught up in the prison mutiny, which reportedly began on the 8th September when eight visitors and two guards were taken hostage over extreme overcrowding in the jail. According to reports, 350 men had been crammed into the  detention centre, which has a capacity of 120. Speaking to reporters on Monday, after a visit to the prison three days after the mutiny had subsided, Mr Herrara said: “One of those who was with him when he was murdered saw everything that happened. “My son and two others were taken by 40 people, stabbed, hanged to bleed, and then Dorancel butchered them to feed all detainees,” referring to the notorious Dorancel “people-eater” Vargas – jailed in 1999 for cannibalism. “The inmate with whom I spoke to told me that he was beaten with a hammer in order to force him to eat the remains of the two boys. “I beg you to give me at least one bone so we can bury him and relieve some of this pain.” An anonymous police source confirmed to the media that two inmates were missing following the riots.

On This Day

• 1793 – Marie Antoinette, widow of Louis XVI, is guillotined at the height of the French Revolution.
• 1834 – Much of the ancient structure of the Palace of Westminster in London burns to the ground.
• 1923 – The Walt Disney Company is founded by Walt Disney and his brother, Roy Disney.
• 1975 – Rahima Banu, a two-year-old girl from the village of Kuralia in Bangladesh, is the last known person to be infected with naturally occurring smallpox.
• 1984 – The Bill debuts on ITV, eventually becoming the longest-running police procedural in British television history.

Deaths

• 1793 – Marie Antoinette, Austrian wife of Louis XVI of France (b. 1755)
• 2001 – Etta Jones, American singer-songwriter (b. 1928)
• 2007 – Deborah Kerr, Scottish actress (b. 1921)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tony Shalhoub (63), Scott Bakula (62), David Lee Roth (62), Joan Cusak (54), Jane Krakowski (48), Emily Deschanel (40), Daryl Hall (70), Stephen Moyer (47), Hugh Jackman (48), Paul Simon (75), Sacha Baron Cohen (45), Sammy Hagar (69), Roger Moore (89), Cliff Richard (76), Lori Petty (53), Steve Coogan (51), Ralph Loren (77), Dominic West (47), and Sarah Ferguson (57).

The Last Word

“Is it the Fourth?” – Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, died. July 4th, 1826

Next week peeps!

Welcome all, another edition hits the press and again we  struggle to know who these celebrities are. In the case of one of our demises, this quote was rather apt. “Rod Temperton is proof that it is possible to be hugely talented and successful, whilst also completely avoiding the limelight”. Ah well, onwards and 6ft downwards…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Rod Temperton, 66, English keyboardist (Heatwave) and songwriter (“Rock with You“, “Give Me the Night“, “Thriller“), cancer.
• Joan Marie Johnson, 72, American singer (The Dixie Cups), heart failure.
• Brock Yates, 82, American automotive journalist (Car and Driver) and screenwriter (Smokey and the Bandit II, The Cannonball Run), Alzheimer’s disease.
• Steve Byrd, 61, English guitarist (Gillan, Kim Wilde), heart attack.

In Other News

More than £40,000 has been raised in 24 hours to fund pioneering cancer treatment for former Emmerdale star Leah Bracknell. The award-winning actress has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and is in a race against time to raise £50,000. Her partner Jez Hughes launched an online appeal on Thursday to raise cash for cutting edge immunotherapy in Germany that they hope will give her a fighting chance to beat the disease. The 52-year-old actress, who played Zoe Tate in the ITV soap from 1989 to 2005, was diagnosed with the condition five weeks ago, as she prepared to return to the stage in a comedy show. In an emotional post about her condition, the mother-of-two – the first British soap character to come out as a lesbian – described how she had been enjoying life as a ‘fit and healthy’ yoga teacher when her world was ‘unexpectedly turned on its head’. Writing on her fundraising page, Leah vowed to fight the cancer with ‘a glass half full’, describing how her priority was ‘to defy expectation’.

The Scottish nurse who was treated for Ebola in 2014 is expected to spend a second day in a Glasgow hospital despite testing negative for the disease. Pauline Cafferkey,  40, was taken to the city’s Queen Elizabeth University Hospital under police escort on Thursday morning after becoming unwell. She is in a stable condition and medics say there is no danger to the public. This is the fourth time Ms Cafferkey has been in hospital since returning to the UK from Sierra Leone two years ago. On Thursday, NHS Greater Glasgow said: “Pauline Cafferkey was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital this morning under the care of the Infectious Diseases Unit. “Due to Ms Cafferkey’s past medical history, appropriate precautionary measures were taken whilst further investigations were carried out. “We are pleased to report that tests for the Ebola virus are negative. She remains in a stable condition in the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital. We want to repeat our previous reassurance that there is no risk to the public.”

US reality TV star Kim Kardashian West was robbed at gunpoint at a luxury residence in Paris by at least two men dressed as police officers, her publicist and police say. A box containing jewellery worth up to €6m (£5.2m; $6.7m) was among items taken, a police spokesman said. The concierge led the gunmen to the residence where they tied Kardashian West up in the bathroom, police said. A spokeswoman for the star said she was “badly shaken but physically unharmed”. The mother-of-two – who became a household name thanks to the reality series Keeping up with the Kardashians – has now left France, flying out of a Paris airport aboard a private jet. A police source has told the BBC the attack was carried out by five men, wearing police-style jackets, who forced the building’s overnight security guard to show them where Kardashian West was staying. Once inside, one of the men put a gun to her head while they robbed her of jewellery including a ring worth €4m, then tied her up and locked her in a bathroom while they escaped.

The UKIP MEP involved in an altercation with Steven Woolfe has said he “categorically did not” throw a punch at his colleague. Mike Hookem acknowledged he and his colleague had a “scuffle” in the European Parliament but insisted that he did not hit him. “I am innocent,” he told the BBC. “I never threw a punch. I never assaulted him. I will stand my corner.” UKIP’s Steven Woolfe will be kept in hospital for a further 48 hours. Thursday’s incident is being investigated by UKIP and the European Parliament, where it has been announced the inquiry will be led by Conservative MEP Sajjad Karim. There have been varying descriptions of what happened during what UKIP called an “altercation” and Mr Hookem told BBC Radio Humberside only he and Mr Woolfe knew precisely what went on. Mr Woolfe, among the favourites to be the party’s next leader, collapsed after their exchange and was taken to hospital. The 49-year old had a precautionary scan which revealed there was no blood clot on his brain although he is to remain under observation for a further 48 hours in Strasbourg “as a precaution”.

On This Day

• 1582 – Because of the implementation of the Gregorian calendar, this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain.
• 1967 – A day after being captured, Marxist revolutionary Ernesto “Che” Guevara is executed for attempting to incite a revolution in Bolivia.
• 2012 – Members of the Pakistani Taliban make a failed attempt to assassinate an outspoken schoolgirl, Malala Yousafzai.

Deaths

• 1974 – Oskar Schindler, Czech-German businessman (b. 1908)
• 1988 – Felix Wankel, German engineer, invented the Wankel engine (b. 1902)
• 1995 – Alec Douglas-Home, British cricketer and politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1903)
• 2006 – Paul Hunter, English snooker player (b. 1978)
• 2015 – Geoffrey Howe, Welsh lawyer and politician, Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1926)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sting (65), Annie Leibovitz (67), Donna Karan (68), Chubby Checker (75), Roy Horn (72), Gwen Stefani (48), Neve Campbell (43), Sean William Scott (40), Clive Owen (52), Fred Couples (57), Lena Headey (43), Susan Sarandon (70), Armand Assante (67), Liev Schreiber (49), Alicia Silverstone (40), Christoph Waltz (60), Steve Miller (73), Karen Allen (65), Bob Geldof (65), Kate Winslet (41), Jesse Eisenberg (33), Guy Pierce (49), Britt Ekland (74), Simon Cowell (57), Toni Braxton (49), Thom York (48), Paul Hogan (77), Chevy Chase (73), Sigourney Weaver (67), Matt Damon (46), Brun Mars (31), Jesse Jackson (75) and Kristanna Loken (37).

Next week peeps!

Welcome my morbid minions, to a jam-packed edition full of nothing. No points to be shared, no stories to be told. The evil flying monkeys must be flown, as nothing seemed to have happened last week. So expect some big names falling by Wednesday, it has been ordained! I only wish Tony Curtis had died, again…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Arnold Palmer, 87, American Hall of Fame professional golfer.
• Jean Shepard, 82, American honky tonk singer-songwriter (“A Dear John Letter“, “Slippin’ Away“), Parkinson’s disease.
• Herschell Gordon Lewis, 87, American film director (Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs!).
• Karam Chand, 110, British supercentenarian, co-holder of the world’s longest marriage.
• Shimon Peres, 93, Polish-born Israeli statesman, President (2007–2014), Prime Minister (1977, 1984–1986, 1995–1996), Nobel Laureate (1994), stroke.
• Ann Emery, 86, British actress (Rentaghost, Billy Elliot, Julia Jekyll and Harriet Hyde).

In Other News

SpaceX founder Elon Musk announced his plan on Tuesday to launch manned missions to Mars by 2022. One small problem: you might die. Musk admitted that the chances of dying on the first trip – which will have about 100 passengers, with tickets likely to be $500,000 – were “quite high”. And even if that first mission is a success, the risk of fatality will remain a definite possibility for those who sign on to the second mission, and the third, and the fourth…  “There’s no way around it… Are you prepared to die? If that’s okay, you’re a candidate for going,” said Musk. Are you willing to go on a trip that could cost you your life? Hell Yes!

Researchers from Spain have found that a tendency to bump off members of the same species is particularly common among primates, and have estimated that around 2% of human deaths at the origin of our species were down to such lethal spats. “What it is saying, in the broadest terms, is that humans have evolved strategies for solving problems with violence,” said Mark Pagel, professor of evolutionary biology at the University of Reading, who was not involved in the research. Writing in the journal Nature, the team of researchers from four Spanish institutions sought to unpick the evolutionary contribution to lethal human violence by looking at how commonly a range of different mammals kill members of the same species. To do so, they examined the evolutionary family tree of mammals, looking at data from more than 1,020 species, as well as 600 human populations stretching as far back in time as the Stone Age, drawing on evidence from human remains found in archaeological excavations. The results revealed that for the ancestor of all mammals, around 1 in every 300 deaths was down to lethal violence between members of the same species. But, the authors note, for evolutionary ancestors of the primates and apes, the figures were higher.

If you take Benjamin Franklin at his word, death is coming. The good and the bad, the young and the old, the in-the-middle: as far as we know, none will live forever. The idea of an eventual death is something that was widely accepted as “true” long ago, but, like many things, it must be updated to suit the modern day. It’s time to accept that when death does come for us, it will be at the hand of our smartphone. And isn’t that comforting? It’s a fitting death: death by smartphone. What used to kill people? Horses, probably. Unlike what you might think, the way we will die by smartphone will not vary. At least not by much. Sure, there will be those who follow a smartphone game off of a cliff, or walk into traffic looking at a map, or lie down on the ground, close their eyes, and refuse to ever get up again because of Twitter. But the rest of us will die when our phones explode. Boom!

On This Day

• 1919 – U.S. President Woodrow Wilson suffers a massive stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed.
• 1925 – John Logie Baird performs the first test of a working television system.
• 1950 – Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz is first published.
• 1959 – The Twilight Zone premieres on CBS television.

Deaths

• 1985 – Rock Hudson, American actor (b. 1925)
• 1998 – Gene Autry, American actor, singer, and guitarist (b. 1907)
• 2006 – Tamara Dobson, American actress (b. 1947)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Mark Hamill (65), Michael Madsen (58), Heather Locklear (55), Will Smith (48), Catherine Zeta-Jones (47), Olivia Newton John (68), Linda Hamilton (60), Jim Caviezel (48), Serena Williams (35), Wilford Brimley (82), Meat Loaf (69), Gwyneth Paltrow (44), Avril Lavigne (32), Naomi Watts (48), Bam Margera (37), Hillary Duff (29), Dita von Tesse (44), Jerry Lee Lewis (81), Ian McShane (74), Johnny Mathis (81), Monica Bellucci (52), Julie Andrews (81),  Zack Galifanakis (47) and Jimmy Carter (92).

The Last Word

“Don’t die like I did.” – George Best, the Northern Irish professional footballer who played as a winger for Manchester United and the Northern Ireland national team.

• Best died as a result of a lung infection and multiple organ failure caused by years of alcoholism.

Next week peeps!