2017

Dead Pool 29th January 2017

Welcome all; seven of you have caused me a little headache this week because you managed to pick celebrities that died on the same day. Search as I might, I couldn’t find a time of day for the deaths of John Hurt and Mary Tyler Moore, so I have awarded the first death of the season points to both celebrities. So, for John Hurt we award Abi, Neil, and Millie 123 points each, and for Mary Tyler Moore, we award Laura, Paul C, Mark and Dave 120 points. Well done all of you!!! We’ve finally kicked off the season!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

A basketball player says he is “doing pretty well, all things considered” after his eye popped out in the middle of a game, New Zealand media report. Akil Mitchell, who plays for the New Zealand Breakers, was in Auckland for an Australian NBL game on Thursday night when the incident happened. The finger of an opposing player accidentally dislodged his eyeball. The American fell to the ground holding his hands to his left eye and was rushed to hospital. “With the palm of my hand I felt my eyeball on the side of my face,” he told New Zealand’s Radio Sport. “I could still see out of the eye.” “I remember thinking oh man… this is kinda bad, but I actually felt it kind of out of place and that’s when I kind of freaked out a little bit.” The 24-year-old said he remembered hearing the crowd and fellow players panicking and thought he would lose his sight and his career was over. “Once I got in the ambulance they gave me a little pain medicine and some saline drops in my eye and I felt it slide back into place, which is also a really strange feeling. “It felt so good to be able to blink again, which is insane.” After being released from hospital on Thursday, he posted on Twitter that he was “seeing fine” and used the eyeballs emoji. The player from North Carolina said he was expected to fully recover and could be playing again soon.

An actor has died after being shot while filming a music video in the Australian city of Brisbane. The man, in his 20s, suffered a chest wound inside the Brooklyn Standard bar in Eagle Lane in the city centre, Queensland police said. The video was for Sydney-based hip hop group Bliss n Eso. The band’s management released a statement to Australian news outlets confirming the death. “The video production crew and our team are currently working with the police in their investigation and we are unable to provide further comment at this time,” the statement said. Members of the film crew had tried to administer CPR on the victim, but the man eventually died from his injuries. Insp Armitt did not say whether the gun was loaded with live ammunition or if blanks were being used. It is also unknown how many shots were fired.

Woe betide us all, atomic scientists reset their symbolic “Doomsday Clock” to its closest time to midnight in 64 years on Thursday, saying the world was closer to catastrophe due to threats such as nuclear weapons, climate change and Donald Trump’s election as U.S. president. The timepiece, devised by the Chicago-based Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists and displayed on its website, is widely viewed as an indicator of the world’s vulnerability to disaster. Its hands were moved to two minutes and 30 seconds to midnight, from three minutes. The Doomsday Clock is closer to midnight than it’s ever been in the lifetime of almost everyone in this room,” Lawrence Krauss, the bulletin’s chair, told a news conference in Washington. The clock was last set this close to midnight in 1953, marking the start of the nuclear arms race between the United States and the Soviet Union. Thursday’s reset was the first since 2015. Krauss, a theoretical physicist, said Trump and Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin carried a large share of the blame for the heightened threat.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ellen DeGeneres (59), Alan Alda (81), Ariel Winter (19), Elijah Wood (36), Ed Helms (43), Alecia Keys (36), Neil Diamond (76), Mischa Barton (31), Bridget Fonda (53), Eddie Van Halen (62), Linda Blair (58), Piper Laurie (85), Patton Oswalt (48), Alan Cumming (52), Jessica Ennis-Hill (31), Kristen Schaal (39), James Cromwell (77), Jazzy Jeff (52), Nastassja Kinski (56) and Rutger Hauer (73).

Next week peeps!

29th January 2017 | Categories: 2017 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 22nd January 2017

Welcome all, another edition hits the press. Well, what a week! Old Trump is still alive after his inauguration, which is a huge surprise to all of us who thought he’d be assassinated as soon as he stood upon that podium. Fair play to those Secret Service guys, they’re still doing their job, even though they obviously hate the cunt.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Former US President George HW Bush and his wife Barbara Bush remain in hospital in Houston, Texas, according to a spokesman. The 41st president, who was admitted with pneumonia on Saturday, is still in the intensive care unit, relying on a ventilator to breathe. The 92-year-old had a breathing tube inserted on Wednesday in a procedure to clear his airway. Wife, Barbara, who has had bronchitis, said she was feeling “1,000% better”. Mrs Bush, 91, was admitted on Wednesday suffering from fatigue and a cough. “President Bush had a good night’s rest,” spokesman Jim McGrath said on Thursday. “We are hopeful he will be discharged from the ICU in a few days.” He said the couple had received “an uplifting visit” from longtime friend former Secretary of State James Baker, who lives in Houston. In a letter addressed 10 January, Mr Bush – the oldest living US president – wrote to Mr Trump to excuse himself from attending his inauguration as 45th US president on Friday. Mr Bush wrote that “my doctor says if I sit outside in January, it will likely put me six feet under”. “Same for Barbara. So I guess we’re stuck in Texas,” he wrote, adding that they will be “with you and the country in spirit”.

Chelsea Manning, whose sentence was commuted by the outgoing president, thanked him “for giving me a chance”. The 29-year-old transgender soldier, born Bradley Manning, gave embarrassing documents to Wikileaks in 2010. At President Obama’s final press conference on Wednesday, he declared that “justice has been served”. She will be freed from the Fort Leavenworth military prison in May – 29 years ahead of her scheduled release in 2045. Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan called the decision “outrageous”. “Chelsea Manning’s treachery put American lives at risk and exposed some of our nation’s most sensitive secrets,” Mr Ryan said. We at Dead Pool Towers agree, we listed her as a possible suicide, but now she’s been given hope!

George Michael’s childhood friend Andros Georgiou has linked the singer’s death to drugs. “Hard drugs had been back in his life,” he told the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme, adding that crack cocaine was one of Michael’s “favourite drugs”. Mr Georgiou grew up with Michael and the two referred to each other as cousins. He added: “I just think he took too much of something, mixed with antidepressants.” The star died aged 53 on Christmas Day. A post-mortem examination was “inconclusive”, police have said. More tests are being carried out to determine what led to his death, which is not being treated as suspicious. Mr Georgiou said he believed Michael’s death was an accident. “I believe he had suicidal thoughts, because his mental health was all over the place. But I don’t believe this was suicide,” he told the programme. He described crack cocaine as one of Michael’s “favourite drugs”, adding: “I just think he took too much of something, mixed with antidepressants and other drugs he was on – with alcohol. “I think his heart just stopped beating.”

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Betty White (95), Kevin Costner (62), Michelle Obama (53), James Earl Jones (86), Zooey Deschanel (37), Jim Carrey (55), Dolly Parton (71), Bill Maher (61), Kate Moss (43), Katey Segal (63), Rainn Wilson (51), Geena Davis (61), Placido Domingo (76), Buzz Aldrin (87), Jack Nicklaus (77), Billy Ocean (67), Mario Van Peebles (60) and Emma Bunton (41),

And Finally…. 

In 2000, a 19-year-old man in Houston, Texas seemed to get the concept of Russian Roulette confused by using a semi-automatic pistol instead of a revolver.

Instead of putting one bullet in a revolver and pulling the trigger, giving him a one-in-six chance of dying, he put the bullet in a semi-automatic pistol (where the bullets are instantly moved into the gun’s chamber), rising those odds to exactly 100 per cent.

Next week peeps!

22nd January 2017 | Categories: 2017 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 15th January 2017

Afternoon minions, we start with a rather controversial happening. Our current Angel of    Death, Laura, has on her list a nice chap called Christopher Wilkins, he was executed this week in Texas. Unfortunately for Laura, he has not cropped up on the Wiki listing, maybe because he’s not famous or his crimes heinous enough. So as a death, he’s been disallowed. 0 Points. More of a kick in the teeth for Wilkins than Laura I feel. Laura shouldn’t feel bad though, she still guessed the first death, again, just didn’t score, so she is the lass to beat still!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

The Queen has made her first public appearance of 2017 after ill-health affected her during the festive season. She attended the morning church service at St Mary Magdalene in Sandringham, Norfolk, on Sunday. There were concerns about the monarch’s health after she missed services on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, which she normally attends with other members of the royal family. Buckingham Palace said she was “recuperating” from a heavy cold. The Queen, dressed in blue, arrived with Prince Philip at about 11:00 GMT in a maroon Bentley. Shortly after, she was joined by other members of the royal family, including the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, as well as the Middleton family. They stayed at the church for an hour, before being driven back to their estate at 12:00 GMT. The last time the Queen was seen in public was at an investiture, during which actor Eddie Redmayne was awarded an OBE, maybe it was all his fault and he’s heading the the Tower of London as we speak.

The actor who played Damien Thorn in the 1970s horror film The Omen punched two cyclists in a road-rage attack and has been given a suspended prison sentence – on Friday the 13th. Harvey Spencer Stephens, 46, lashed out at two riders and damaged one of their cycling helmets after getting out of his car after a dispute. He pleaded guilty to two counts of ABH and one of causing criminal damage following the attack. Maidstone crown court heard that father-of-two Stephens was “red-faced and angry” when he confronted the cyclists, knocking one of them unconscious after driving up behind them. Prosecutor Kieran Brand said Stephens repeatedly used his horn when riders Mark Richardson and Alex Manley, who were out cycling separately, were side-by-side on the road as one overtook the other. Richardson responded by flicking his middle finger at Stephens, who then accelerated heavily before overtaking the pair and pulling over. Brand said Stephens punched Richardson, knocking him unconscious, which prompted Manley to intervene. Stephens responded by asking Manley: “You want some do you?” before punching him twice in the face, causing him to fall on his back with his bicycle still between his legs. Stephens held Manley down and punched him six or seven times, inflicting dental injuries and damaging his helmet. Let this be a warning to all cyclists, the Devil is after you!

A Serbian man is being hailed a miracle survivor after he spent two-and-a-half days stuck down a well in temperatures well below freezing. Jezdimir Milic left home on Friday morning to buy groceries ahead of Orthodox Christmas the next day, but failed to come home. He was found some 52 hours later, on Sunday afternoon, trapped down a well while temperatures reached -20C (-4F). Mr Milic was discovered by neighbour Goran Markovic, who says Mr Milic’s poor sight probably explains how he did  not see the five-metre-deep (16-foot) well and fell into it. Mr Markovic said he discovered Mr Milic when he noticed a bag of groceries sitting by the well, in a wooded area close to their village of Smoljinac. “Attracted by the unusual sight, I walked over to the bag in which there was a bottle of red wine, a few bottles of beer and some corn flour,” Mr Markovic told news organisation RTS. “At that moment I remembered that there was talk in the village about a disappeared person named Jezdimir. Then I heard some cries and looked into the well and I saw, at the bottom, someone sitting with their hands and feet close to their chest.” He then notified a local vet, who summoned police. The fire service eventually got Mr Milic out. As well as hypothermia, he is being treated for bruises and abrasions consistent with a fall from height.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Zayn Malik (24), Jason Bateman (48), Liam Hemsworth (27), Kate Middleton (35), Faye Dunaway (76), Howard Stern (63), Rod Stewart (72), Kirsty Alley (66), George Foreman (68), Amanda Peet (46), Mary J. Blige (46), Rush Limbaugh (66), Pat Benatar (64), Joely Richardson (52), Evan Handler (56), Mel C. (43), Pixie Lott (26), Carl Weathers (69) and Shirley Bassey (80).

And Finally…

This took the top Darwin Award in 1994. A Polish farmer, Krystof Azninski, who “staked a strong claim to being Europe’s most macho man by cutting off his own head.” Azninski and his friends, in an inebriated state, decided it was good idea to  engage in a little competition of who was the most masculine. It is strange how these things escalate. First, they striped off naked. Second, they hit each other with frozen turnips. But things turned decidedly bizarre -and deadly when one of them cut off his own foot with a chainsaw. Azninski decided to top this by literally sawing off his own head! One of the men was quoted as saying: “It’s funny, because when he was young he put on his sister’s underwear. But he died like a man.”

Next week peeps!

15th January 2017 | Categories: 2017 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 1st January 2017

Welcome all, let’s start off the last Newsletter of the year by handing out the final points. Millie gets 54 points for Richard Adams. Toby and Laura get 55 for Liz Smith whist I myself finally score with her as my Woman for 155. Unbelievably, Alex & Eliza had Carrie Fisher down as their Woman, 190 points! How did they know???

So, as you will see from the leader board, I can now officially declare that Laura has won the title of Angel of Death 2016! A whopping 654 points, which is an all time record for us here at TheDeadPool.rip

I’d like to also add a huge thank you for everyone who has taken part in 2016 and also for the generous donations we’ve received. We have more than covered the running costs so there will be a prize for 2017, either a cash pot or a deadly gift, all depends if something suitable crops up during the year. Let me wish you all good luck for 2017 and keep those Klaxxons coming, you’re usually quicker that TMZ!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

The Queen may miss the annual New Year’s Day church service at Sandringham after Buckingham Palace said the 90-year-old could still be too unwell to attend. A spokeswoman said: “The Queen is continuing to recover from her heavy cold and is still in the residence of Sandringham. We probably will not know what is happening until the morning.” The monarch has not been seen in public for 11 days since she and Prince Philip caught heavy colds, forcing them to cancel the traditional train journey to their north Norfolk estate for Christmas. Instead, the royal couple were flown directly from the palace by helicopter, with the Queen missing the Christmas Day service at St Mary Magdalene church for the first time in 28 years. Philip, 95, was well enough to go to the 25th December service with Prince Charles, Prince Harry and other family members before reportedly joining the traditional Boxing Day pheasant shoot. This comes after a tweet from a fake BBC News account claimed that The Queen had died; the palace was forced to issue a statement confirming she was still alive but a 24 hour media blackout before the New Years Honours List and her stepping down from being a patron to 25 high profile charities only exacerbated the rumours.

Talking about tweets, Sony Music has said sorry to pop star Britney Spears, after an official Twitter account suggested the pop star had died. The entertainment firm quickly removed the hoax tweets, saying its global account had been “compromised” but that the situation had “been rectified”. Sony added it “apologises to Britney Spears and her fans for any confusion”. The 35-year-old did not react directly to the tweet, but her manager confirmed the singer was “fine and well”. As well Sony’s Twitter account, the official account of Bob Dylan also appears to have been hacked. It tweeted: “Rest in peace @britneyspears” around the time of the fake Sony tweets. After the tweets were published, a group called OurMine appears to have gained access to the Sony Music account and pointed out the security breach. It is not clear whether it was also responsible for the original false messages.

Former football star Paul Gascoigne was taken to hospital after an alcohol-fuelled fight at a hotel, it has been reported. Mr Gascoigne, 49, was “racially abusing” customers at the Ace Hotel in Shoreditch, east London, and throwing money at them, according to a witness. The Metropolitan Police said officers were called to a disturbance at the hotel shortly after 6pm on Tuesday before a 49-year-old man was taken to hospital with a head injury. Witness Alvin Carpio said the former England and Newcastle United striker, who has long-battled alcoholism, appeared “very drunk” during the altercation. He tweeted: “Gazza has just been kicked down the stairs by a guy whose friend got slapped by him. He really isn’t in a good place. “It’s a sad state: He’s been spitting, making racist remarks & groping women, all while throwing around £ notes. “He was racially abusing my mates, and hitting one of them on the shoulder and head before throwing a £20 note on him.” Mr Gascoigne’s spokesman, Terry Baker, said the troubled star had been taken to hospital with a head wound. Mr Baker added: “He hasn’t been arrested. He’s about to be released and sent home.” Mr Gascoigne was fined £1,000 at Dudley Magistrates’ Court in September after racially abusing a bodyguard who was employed to protect him. Twat….

Ex-world champion Ricky Hatton says he tried to kill himself on several occasions in a battle with depression. The Briton also talked about the need for boxers to get more help after retiring, when he appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Today show. “I tried to kill myself several times,” said Hatton, 38, who retired in 2012. “I used to go to the pub, come back, take the knife out and sit there in the dark crying hysterically.” Hatton, who previously spoke to the BBC in 2011 about attempted suicide and depression, won the world light-welterweight and welterweight titles. He was stripped of his licence to box in 2010 after admitting using cocaine and retired the next year before fighting once more. He is now a promoter and trainer. He continued: “There were times when I hadn’t had a drink for days and I’d still come home and if something went through my mind I’d start pondering something. It was the same outcome whether I was having a drink or wasn’t having a drink. “But in the end I thought I’ll end up drinking myself to death because I was so miserable. “I was coming off the rails with my drinking and that led to drugs. It was like a runaway train.”  Hatton feels “more should be done for boxers” with depression, with ex-world champions Tyson Fury and Frank Bruno among other Britons to have suffered with the illness.

A post-mortem examination into the cause of George Michael’s death was “inconclusive” police have said. The star died aged 53 on Christmas Day at his home in Goring-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. More tests will now be carried out to determine what led to his death, Thames Valley Police said in a statement. The results of these tests are unlikely to be known for several weeks. Michael’s death is still being treated as unexplained but not suspicious. South Central Ambulance Service were called to Michael’s property at 13:42 GMT on 25th December and the singer was confirmed dead at the scene. Thames Valley Police also attended. Michael’s partner Fadi Fawaz said he had found the singer lying “peacefully in bed”. He told the media: “I went round there to wake him up and he was just gone. We don’t know what happened yet.” Michael’s manager, Michael Lippman, said the singer had died of heart failure. Michael, who was born Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou in north London, sold more than 100 million albums throughout a career spanning almost four decades. Charities and individuals lined up to pay tribute to George following his death and also reveal stories of generosity. A close friend predicted that he will have donated some or all of his future song royalties to charity. He said: “If he did something like this it means the good causes would receive a yearly boost from George even after his death. It is just the kind of thing he would do because he was so generous.” Sad loss…

The family of Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher are reportedly planning a joint memorial service. The Singin’ In The Rain star, 84, died from a suspected stroke on Wednesday, while grieving for her daughter Fisher, who died just a day earlier. Fisher, 60, best known for her role as Princess Leia in the Star Wars series, died after suffering a heart attack on a flight from London to Los Angeles. Reynolds’ son said: “It’s what we want to do, but we’re still working on the mechanics. “We like the idea, if it’s at all possible. I think it’s appropriate.” Mr Fisher announced his mother’s death on Wednesday, revealing that her last words were: ‘I want to be with Carrie”. He confirmed to US network ABC News that there is currently no date or location for the mother-daughter funeral, but plans are in process.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jared Leto (45), Maggie Smith (82), Denzel Washington (62), Ellie Goulding (30), LeBron James (32), Tiger Woods (41), Annie Lennox (62), Anthony Hopkins (79), Sissy Spacek (67),  Ben Kingsley (73), Sienna Miller (35), Jon Voight (78), Ted Danson (69), Eliza Dushku (36), Jude Law (44), Marianne Faithfull (70), Val Kilmer (57), John Amos (77), Mary Tyler Moore  (80), Shane MacGowan (59), Patti Smith (70), Gerard Depardieu (68), Tracy Ullman (57), Lars Ulrich (53), Helena Christensen (48), Stan Lee (94), Noomi Rapace (37), Michael Nesmith (74), Masi Oka (42), Danny McBride (40) and Jay Kay (47).

Next week peeps!

1st January 2017 | Categories: 2016, 2017 | Leave A Comment »

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