2016

Dead Pool 31st January 2016

Dead Pool BackgroundWe awoke this morning to hear on the radio that Terry Wogan has died. A great loss to the BBC and those who loved him, however two of us thought that his death would be worth listing, well done to Nick M and Ceri J, both get 73 points!! No only this, but Shân E stuck to her guns and kept Abe Vigoda on her list and managed to score 156 points as a Cert. So now we have a new points leader and if the celebrity deaths keep on coming as they are, I think we’ll all be scoring something pretty soon!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

peresIsrael’s former president Shimon Peres has been rushed to hospital after experiencing chest pains, 10 days after he had a small heart attack. A spokeswoman has said medics treated him at his home on Sunday night and detected a “light irregular heart rate”. She said the doctors decided he should spend the night in hospital for observation. Mr Peres, 92, underwent minor surgery last week for a constricted artery. Despite his age, Mr Peres has maintained an active public schedule, mostly through his non-governmental Peres Centre for Peace, which promotes closer ties between Israel and the Palestinians.

LucanLord Lucan’s body was fed to a tiger after he shot himself, a member of the missing peer’s gambling set has claimed, the latest twist in the decades-old mystery surrounding the fate of the aristocrat. The account comes days before a procedural hearing at the High Court to determine whether a death certificate should finally be issued for Lucan. The Eton-educated 7th Earl of Lucan vanished after Sandra Rivett, nanny to his three children, was found murdered at his family home in Belgravia on November 7, 1974. He is said to have mistaken her for his wife Veronica and bludgeoned her to death. Three days later, the peer’s blood-soaked car was found abandoned in Newhaven, East Sussex, and an inquest jury declared him to be Miss Rivett’s killer a year later. Now, more than four decades later, a member of the set of wealthy gamblers to which Lord ‘Lucky’ Lucan belonged has given a grisly account of what is said to have happened to the peer. In an interview, Philippe Marcq says he was told by Stephen Raphael, another regular at the Clermont Club in Mayfair, shortly after Lucan’s disappearance that the peer travelled to a private zoo in Kent owned by his close friend John Aspinall. According to 73-year-old Mr Marcq, Raphael claimed he was among a group of Zorra Tigerfriends at Howletts zoo who discussed with Lucan about what he should do next. The peer was said to be concerned that he would never see his children again and his wife would get both them and the family trust. In order to  make sure his estranged wife didn’t get a penny from his trust, he was advised the only way to avoid this was for him to vanish without a trace. His friends allegedly told him that, without proof of death, probate could not be granted on his estate for at least seven years – by which time his children would be old enough to look after their own affairs. They allegedly dismissed the idea that he flee abroad, saying he was not cut out for a life on the run and he would be returned to the UK. Instead, Mr Marcq said a pistol was placed in front of Lucan, who picked it up, went into the next room, and shot himself. The body was then fed to a tiger named Zorra. Police reportedly investigated the tiger theory at the time after Aspinall’s mother, Lady Osborne (the grandmother of Chancellor George Osborne) told them: “The last I heard of him (Lucan), he was being fed to the tigers at my son’s zoo.” When police visited Howletts, Aspinall is said to have responded: “My tigers are only fed the choicest cuts – do you really think they’re going to eat stringy old Lucky?”

mustafa-kocI don’t know how I missed this last week, but Nickie  pointed out that Mustafa Koç, 55, Turkish businessman (Koç Holding), died of a heart attack. There’s a whole family of very successful Koç’s if you care to take a look on their Wiki. What I like most is that this Turkish family have made their fortune from hard work and graft and have since shared their wealth with their country by donating towards a Koç Museum, a Koç School and a Koç University. Who knows, maybe we will see his kind arise again.

Wenallt_Chapel,_Thornhill_Cemetery,_CardiffA grieving family and funeral congregation were left horrified when a pornographic video was accidentally played during the service. Hundreds of people gathered at Thornhill Crematorium in Cardiff to pay their respects to Simon Lewis, 33, and his baby boy, Simon Lewis Jnr, who were killed in a head-on collision. Mourners at Wednesday’s funeral described their shock after a crematorium blunder saw pornographic footage played by accident, instead of a tribute made in remembrance of Mr Lewis. Cardiff council, which runs the crematorium, has launched an urgent investigation. “It was absolutely disgusting, the priest turned around to play the video of Simon, but instead a hard-core pornography video was played on the big screen,” said a funeral-goer, who wished to remain anonymous. “Everyone was in shock, Simon’s father-in-law was furious, he shouted at the staff present and told them to turn it off. “It took them nearly four minutes to turn it off, people couldn’t believe what they were seeing. “To the priest’s credit he handled it extremely well. He apologised on behalf of Cardiff Council and said that in 30 years of doing the job, he had never seen such filth.” Reverend Lionel Fanthorpe, who led the funeral service, said: “I remember looking up at the screen and seeing some type of video came on and a very loud noise. “I look at my congregations instead of the TV screen, but when I heard this noise and members of the congregation moving towards the screen, I realised something was wrong. “Members of the family were very distressed, and Simon’s father-in-law was desperately upset. “Thankfully an engineer came to fix it and turn it off. It seems to be some kind of electronic accident. A Cardiff council spokesman said: “We are carrying out an urgent investigation. There were four television screens used. “We are trying to establish whether the smart TV could have picked up a broadcast by accident from Bluetooth or a Wifi connection. The other TVs were not affected. “We are clear that it is not possible for any member of staff to play or download anything onto the computer to be shown on the screen.

On This Day

Deaths

Ceri’s Grisly Corner

Face eatenOn our “how to die horribly list” this week is Necrotising Fasciitis, a rare Flesh Eating Bacterial Infection where the full thickness of whole areas of skin become infected, goes gross, black and dies in a short period of time and although the skin dies, the tissue beneath it is generally left untouched. The thing that marks it out as special is that it travels so fast, racing over your body like a flashover or backdraft or something leaving large areas of tissue beneath it either open to infection or dead.

NF can spread at the rate of 3cm per hour which, as I’m sure you can imagine is a right bugger when there’s only so much body to race around. Around 25% of people who get it die from it and many people lose loads of skin and require skin grafts, quite often large areas of tissue and or limbs need to be removed to try to stop this flesh eating menace’s spread.

Caused by relatively innocuous flora living on the surface of the skin, there’s no reliable way to avoid Necrotising Fasciitis other than practicing good hygiene and avoiding having a compromised immune system as most cases are in people who would be able to fight it off were their immune systems’ not taking a snooze or otherwise MIA. Very small scratches or wounds can start it off and then it’s holding a huge rave with only antibiotics or surgery as options for treatment and on top of all that lovely stuff it can also cause systemic shock and cause organ failure and ultimately death.

Many famous types have had their flesh metaphorically eaten by this infection such as Alan Coren (call my bluff), Jeff Hannerman (guitarist of Slayer) and there seems to be some confusion over whether Jim Henson (Muppets) died from it (or TSS). Either way it seems to me that it’s a safe bet for the monkeys of misfortune.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Aaron Neville (75), Neil Diamond (75), Nastassja Kinski (55), Kristen Schaal (38), Alecia Keys (35), Scott Glenn (75), Eddie Van Halen (61), Ellen DeGeneres (58), James Cromwell (76), Mimi Rogers (60), Bridget Fonda (52), Alan Cumming (51), Patton Oswalt (47), Alan Alda (80), Elijah Wood (35), Ariel Winter (18), Jessica Ennis-Hill (30), Tom Selleck (71), Heather Graham (46), Gene Hackman (86), Vanessa Redgrave (79), Phil Collins (65), Christian Bale (42) and Dick Chaney (75).

Next week peeps!

31st January 2016 | Categories: 2016 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 24th January 2016

Dead Pool Background

Points galore this week!!! With the passing of the world’s oldest living man, Yasutaro Koide at the age of 112, Kaz scores 138 as she had him down as her Cert, and Paul C. and Dave J. both score 38. But not only this, Stu had Sheila Sim, so a further 57 points are awarded! Well done to all of you! This has now moved things along somewhat on the leader board and it’s barely mid-way through January!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Piers SellersBritish-born astronaut Piers Sellers says he is now living life at “20 times normal speed” after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Dr Sellers, originally from Crowborough in East Sussex, is the deputy director of Nasa’s science and exploration division. The 60-year-old was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer in late October. “It did motivate me to concentrate my thoughts,” he told the BBC. “I’d been feeling rough for about six or nine months, getting progressively more ill. The outlook in terms of expected longevity was a bit of a shocker.” Speaking of his diagnosis and treatment, Dr Sellers said: “The prognosis right now is 12 to 18 months.” Dr Sellers had to become a US citizen to fulfil his dream of becoming an astronaut and has campaigned for the British government to develop its own space programme.

jamie_foxxJamie Foxx has been praised for putting his own life at risk by saving a man who was trapped in a burning truck. Brett Kyle’s pick-up went off the road and rolled over into a ditch close to Foxx’s California home. Foxx said the truck became engulfed in flames “within five seconds” after he got the driver out. “I don’t look at it as heroic”, he told reporters, “I just look at it like, you know, you just had to do something. And it all just worked out.’’ The Oscar-winning actor said he heard the crash from his house and called 911 before running to the scene. An off-duty paramedic who was driving by also stopped to help. They used his emergency room scissors to break the window and cut the man’s seatbelt and pull him out. “I told him as we were talking, as I’m getting him out, I said ‘you’ve got to help me get you out because I don’t want to have to leave you'”, Foxx said. The driver’s father Brad Kyle met Foxx to thank him for his actions. He said he had been shown surveillance footage of the crash site and said several cars had passed by the scene without helping. The 32-year-old driver has broken bones and a punctured lung, but he is expected to recover.

Don-McLeanAmerican Pie singer Don McLean was arrested on a misdemeanour domestic violence charge on Monday in Maine, a jail supervisor said. In a statement on his official website, McLean blamed “hard emotional times for my wife, my children and me”. “What is occurring is the very painful breakdown of an almost 30-year relationship…. There are no winners or losers but I am not a villain. I hope I will not be judged in this frantic media environment,” he said. The 70-year-old was arrested on 18 January after police were called to a property in Camden, Maine, at 02:00 local time. He was later released on bail. It is understood his wife was granted a temporary restraining order against the singer after she cited a pattern of abuse going back three decades. She claimed she feared for her life when she called police earlier this week, writing: “Don terrorised me for four hours, until the 911 call that I think might have saved my life.” McLean, “vigorously denies” his wife’s allegations. One thing is for sure, this clusterfuck ain’t over yet!

handyThe Ryder Cup star Jamie Donaldson has suffered a potentially severe finger injury following a mishap with a chainsaw. The  Welshman, who claimed the decisive point when Europe  defeated the United States in September 2014, posted a graphic photo on Twitter of what seems to be a laceration to the little finger on his left hand. The 40-year-old wrote: “So folks in my time off decided to have a fight with a chainsaw and lost! Oops!! C u in Dubai.” It is not yet known whether Donaldson hacked off the finger completely, although the image shows he required multiple stitches. Further details remain unclear, but his post seems to indicate he will play at the Omega Dubai Desert Classic, which gets under way on 4th February.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Betty White (94), James Earl Jones (85), Jim Carey (54), Kid Rock (45), Zooey Deschanel (36), Michelle Obama (52), Kevin Costner (61), Dolly Parton (70), Katey Segal (62), Bill Maher (60), Buzz Aldrin (86), Rainn Wilson (50), Geena Davis (60), Billy Ocean (66), Emma Bunton (40), Jack Nicklaus (76), Placido Domingo (75), Dj Jazzy Jeff (51), Linda Blair (57), Piper Laurie (84), John Hurt (76) and Rutger Hauer (72).

Why is Leslie Nielsen STILL dead?  BBC Blog by Anisa Subedar 

Leslie NielsenIs this a familiar experience? You wake up. Check the internet and there’s news of the passing of a much-loved celebrity. Then some time later after scrolling through screens of social media tributes you discover that person had actually died before… several times.

This week there have been waves of online sympathy over the passing of actor Leslie Nielsen prompting many to quote their favourite and most memorable lines from films such as Airplane! and The Naked Gun.

The only trouble is Nielsen actually died in November 2010 aged 84.

That didn’t stop thousands of online users sharing this BBC story without checking the date and so it appeared that Nielsen had just died.

As a result the article popped up in the “Most Read” section which resulted in even more people sharing it. And the snowball rolled on gathering weight. Many people shared their own personal tributes on Twitter and then felt foolish when they discovered the truth.

Tony HartLeslie Nielsen isn’t the only celebrity who has experienced Multiple Death Syndrome, as we’re calling it. Artist and children’s TV presenter Tony Hart and Columbo actor Peter Falk have also been mourned more than once.

So why does this happen and why will it keep happening?

BBC technology correspondent Rory Cellan Jones says the intricacies of how stories spread on social media are complex and mysterious. “It’s no surprise that the deaths of Leslie Nielsen or Tony Hart are stories that people want to share. But they’re at an interesting level – not people whose death makes the traffic stop like David Bowie or Princess Diana, but big enough in people’s childhoods to mean something.”

So if a person’s celebrity is below a certain level some of their fans may have missed news of their original death. And if they randomly search to find out whatever happened to a star, they may discover a report of their hero’s death, but not notice the date stamp. And so another snowball starts rolling downhill. It’s chaos theory making its presence known via social media. An entirely innocent variation of the Butterfly Effect – very different from the malicious “RIP” trolling of celebrities who are still alive.

So what fuels the need to share the death of someone famous online in such a hurry without checking the facts? Rory thinks it’s obvious that there’s a natural urge to be first with breaking celebrity news. “Everyone now sees themselves as a celebrity reporter! I’m sure there’s an element of mischief involved – which sometimes descends into malice. Social media is now where you see all kinds of human behaviour reflected – from kindness to one-upmanship to sheer nastiness.”

So there you go, we’re all a bunch of nasties!

Next week peeps!

24th January 2016 | Categories: 2016 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 17th January 2016

The Dead PoolWelcome poolers, to a sadness filled edition of The Dead Pool. The flying monkeys have indeed been busy, taking from us a host of people, but primarily David Bowie and Alan Rickman, both much loved for the work they did. However, the Reaper waits for no man, and we all missed a bunch of points there, in fact with all the deaths last week, everyone failed to score! Luckily we’re experiencing a huge cold snap, you know how old people hate the cold right?

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

David-CameronIn what we could only describe as wishful thinking, a radio presenter announced the death of David Cameron in a news report about the death of singer David Bowie. Fiona Winchester, a newsreader across Global Radio-owned stations Heart, Smooth, LBC and Capital, was reading the news for Heart FM on Monday morning when she made the gaffe. A tongue-tied Winchester said “David Cameron has died” before quickly correcting herself and replacing the prime minister’s name with Bowie, who has died of cancer aged 69. If only her story was true! So, now that Bowie is dead, please rush out to buy all of his albums, because you never appreciated him when he was alive as you’re a sheep following the masses.

celine-dionWe’d better keep an eye on Celine Dion, because days after her husband and manager died of cancer, a family spokesman said on Saturday that the Canadian singer lost a brother to cancer too! Daniel Dion was 59. He was the eighth of 14 Dion siblings, so she does have some to spare. Strangely, both men suffered from throat cancer. Mr Angelil’s funeral will be held on Friday at the Notre-Dame Basilica in Montreal where the couple married. The following day a memorial service will be held for her late brother, with a formal funeral a few days after that, the family spokesman said.  I’m sure Celine’s heart will go on…

peresFormer Israeli President Shimon Peres has undergone a “successful minor surgery” after suffering small heart attack, officials have said. Mr Peres, 92, was treated for a constricted artery that had caused chest pain, his spokesman Ayelet Frisch said. The veteran politician is said to be “conscious and in stable condition” in hospital in Tel Aviv. Mr Peres twice served as prime minister and was president from 2007 to 2014. His personal physician Raphi Walden said he was expected to stay in the Tel Hashomer hospital for “a few days”. Despite his age, Mr Peres has maintained an active public schedule, mostly through his non-governmental Peres Centre for Peace, which promotes closer ties between Israel and the Palestinians.

BobBob Mortimer came so close to death he was given special permission to marry his long-term girlfriend just half an hour  before undergoing a triple heart bypass. The comedian, one half of double act Reeves and Mortimer, was told last autumn he needed surgery because his arteries were 95 percent blocked. He wed his partner of 22 years Lisa Matthews on the morning of the operation. Couples are usually required to give 28 days’ notice to their local register office before the ceremony, but special dispensation can be granted if the bride or groom is suffering from a terminal illness or has an operation for a serious illness scheduled. Mortimer, 56, said: “I found out on the Thursday that I needed surgery, so I made a will on the Friday. My consultant said I was incredibly ill, so the registrar in London gave me permission to get married on the Monday. So I got married at 9.30am on the Monday, and went to hospital at 10am to have my operation.” His comedy partner Vic Reeves did not have the opportunity to be his best man because the only guests at the ceremony were the couple’s two children, Harry and Tom. The news of his heart problems “came completely out of the blue” after visiting the doctor with a suspected chest infection, he said. He added: “I’ve just redone all my tests and they said if I was a builder or a scaffolder I would be absolutely fine to do the show. And we don’t do anything like heavy labour in it.” But Mortimer still has to monitor his health, with a device that gives a constant reading of his heart rate. If it goes above a certain limit, he would have to stop the show.

tumour packageAnd finally, a British man received quite a shock when the courier service that was supposed to be delivering a Kindle to his address sent him a package containing a tumour tissue sample from America instead. The sample was supposed to be sent to the Royal Free Hospital in London, yet somehow ended up in Bristol at the home of James Potten, who had been expecting to receive the e-reader, which he had ordered online. FedEx had initially delivered the package to Mr Potten’s door while he was out, so he contacted the courier asking them to return once he got home. The driver then headed back to the house, bearing a package with the recipient’s name and address. However, when Mr Potten opened the parcel, he discovered a box marked “patient tumour – specimen enclosed.” After seeing this, the still Kindle-less environmental consultant got back in touch with FedEx, asking them to retrieve the package and deliver it to the correct address. Meanwhile, the Royal Free Hospital has confirmed that a package destined for one of its institutions had been erroneously delivered to an address in Bristol, and says it will now seek “answers from the delivery company as to how this mistake was made.” Apparently there is still no sign of the Kindle.

On This Day

Deaths

Ceri’s Grisly Corner

RABID - Foaming MouthGenerally we think of rabies as something that happens somewhere else, mainly because it does, however the population of our lists are fairly elsewhere (other than incarcerated ones) in nature too or at least travel a lot.

Rabies, or bitey frothy mouth disease is caused by a virus passed between mammals when the infected creature bites, scratches or otherwise passes the virus into the uninfected one. It causes fever and tingling in the site of infection leading to inability to move body parts or jerky movement, excitement, confusion, fear of water and aggression. All lovely symptoms to have, I’m sure you’d agree!

Once you have been bit, scratched or even licked by something that might be infected you need to have the vaccine as soon as possible as other than a few recent cases treated with the ‘Milwaukee protocol’ (mainly involving an induced coma) its 100% fatal once it gets to the brain.

Rabies (from the Latin for madness) leads to inflammation of the brain where it causes behaviour changes and movement problems. Animals infected with Rabies will often change their normal routine such as being active during the day if nocturnal or the reverse, leading to an increased chance of encountering other animals and so being more likely to pass on the virus. Moral being don’t let a drooling lurchy animal into your house!

Rabies has been around since at least 2000 BCE and has always been a source of fear leading to owners of rabid dogs being heavily fined if their dog bit a person, I’m not sure if you’d be fined if your own dog bit you though. There were many culls of stray dogs and cats carried out during the 18th century however as people like fluffy animals in general the culls were not fully enforced and so were not particularly helpful in reducing the spread; idiots! During the 19th century the increased understanding of dogs and disease led to more helpful initiatives such as quarantine which is the main reason behind the UK being rabies free and is still used today.

Salems-Lot-1979Over the years many stories and fantasy creatures have evolved from our collective fear of rabies, especially the behaviour changes. Werewolves (people acting more like dogs with rabies presumably), Vampires (people biting people) and even Zombies (lurching body movements, biting and aggression while having their personality destroyed) are thought to have emerged from legends and myths surrounding rabies.

It’s a rather nasty condition and I probably wouldn’t wish it on anyone on my list really. Even the pretty nasty ones, however I guess the ones in prison are kind of quarantined anyway so if it were to happen at least it wouldn’t lead to a zombie plague!

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rod Stewart (71), Kate Moss (42), Jason Bateman (47), Faye Dunaway (75), Orlando Bloom (39), Kirsty Alley (65), Pat Benatar (63), Howard Stern (62), Mary J. Blige (45), George Forman (67), Liam Hemsworth (26), LL Cool J (48), Dave Grohl (47), Carl Weathers (68), Melanie Chisholm (42), Pixie Lott (25), Amanda Peet (44) and Evan Handler (55).

Next week peeps!

17th January 2016 | Categories: 2016 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 10th January 2016

Dead Pool Background

Welcome all, to a slightly controversial start to the scoring this year. As you know, the first death of the year is a highly coveted prize that secures an extra 50 points, so when Laura messaged me that one of her choices had died, I was over the moon. However, one of the rules of the Dead Pool is that your choices must appear in the Wiki Death Pages. Oscar Ray BolinLaura knew from the outset that her choice, Oscar Ray Bolin, a Death Row inmate in Florida, was a dodgy listing. Strangely he has no Wiki page of his own, despite his murderous tendencies and several appeals against his execution. Perhaps someone will take it upon themselves to write one. Saying this, he did pop up briefly on the mobile version of the Wiki Deaths page, he has been subsequently removed for some reason, but we do have pictorial proof, hence my decision to award the points! In the past, the Wiki Death Page has been rather unreliable in its listings, highly notable people are missed whilst obscurities from the world of fly fishing are included. I believe the listings are changed by the demonic power of Jimmy Wales himself, so in future, if you have an obscure listing, the onus is on you to send proof that your dead star was listed on the page, be it the mobile or normal version.

Well done Laura, first death of the year and a relatively young un too. 147 points to start off the season!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Janet JacksonPop star Janet Jackson has used her own lyrics to deny rumours she has throat cancer. Concerns spread earlier this week, when US media reported “sources close to the singer” saying doctors had found a growth on her vocal cords. Jackson responded by quoting her song The Great Forever on social media: “Sources say but where ya gettin’ it? Don’t create the truth you like.” In a statement, she added: “The rumours are untrue. I do not have cancer.” The singer announced just before the new year she would postpone several 2016 dates on her Unbreakable world tour, telling fans she had been advised to have surgery. “I need you to know, I learned today, from my doctors that I must have surgery soon,” she wrote. “It breaks my heart to tell you that I am forced to postpone the Unbreakable tour until the spring.” Jackson didn’t elaborate on her condition at the time, saying: “There will be no further comment.” The cancer rumour originated on US gossip site Radaronline and was rapidly reported by media outlets. The unnamed source was quoted as saying Jackson’s family were “terrified” as they awaited test results. After denying the cancer rumour, the 49-year-old stated: “I’m recovering. My doctors have approved my concerts as scheduled in Europe, and as I promised, the postponed shows will be rescheduled. Thank you for your prayers and love.”

Bob_MortimerBob Mortimer has been cleared by doctors to go on tour with comedy partner Vic Reeves after having a triple heart bypass operation. Vic and Bob cancelled the first leg of their 25th anniversary UK tour last October because he needed surgery. Mortimer wrote on Twitter on Monday: “Doctors just passed me fit to do second leg of tour next month.” The tour, 25 Years Of Reeves And Mortimer: The Poignant Moments, was due to have started in Glasgow on 8th November. At the time, Mortimer wrote: “So sorry to those who bought tickets that we had to cancel 1st leg of tour. Three consultants said I had to have the op immediately.”

USA Paralympic silver medallist Richard Browne has sustained broken ribs and concussion in a car accident. The 24-year-old spent two nights in hospital after his car was in collision with a lorry in Florida. “Richard is badly shaken up and in a lot of pain but he was very lucky,” his manager Ian Byers said in a statement. “Doctors have advised that he should rest for three weeks, which will impact on his winter training and may mean that we have to review his early-season race plans.”

Piers Morgan the cuntDid you know that Tony Hart, presenter of TV shows including Vision On, Take Hart and Hart Beat, died in 2009. Half the people you know on Facebook don’t. The internet apparently has an extremely short memory when it comes to children’s television icons of the 70s and 80s. Piers Morgan was one of the useless cunts that failed to check his sources when he joined in with the latest round of lamentations over the death of Mr Hart, but why would he check his sources, he never bothered when he was running The Tabloids™. The six-year-old story became the most shared page on the Telegraph website on Sunday as huge numbers of readers posted the link to Twitter and Facebook. Well done you if you saw through it!

headAnd finally, in a slightly overthought suicide, a man strangled and dismembered his wife, encased her head in concrete and then used the concrete block to help drown himself in an Austrian lake. Officials said the couple were a 72-year-old man and his 71-year-old wife from near Frankfurt in Germany, but did not identify them further. The corpse and a bag were recovered by police divers from the waters of Traunsee on Monday. A day earlier, two suitcases containing the woman’s remains were found floating close to the lake’s shore near the town of Gmunden. Postmortem examinations suggested that the woman was strangled between 25th December and 1st January and that the man drowned some time later. There was no indication of involvement by a third party. “We believe first and foremost that [the man’s death] was suicide,” state prosecutor Birgit Ahamer said.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays 

Victoria Principal (66), Mel Gibson (60), Michael Stipe (56), Julia Ormond (51), Robert Duvall (85), Diane Keaton (70), Marilyn Manson (47), Bradley Cooper (41), Rowan Atkinson (61), Jeremy Renner (45), Nicholas Cage (52), Kenny Loggins (68), Lewis Hamilton (31), Shirley Bassey (79), Joely Richardson (51), Jimmy Page (72) and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (34).

Ceri’s Grisly Corner

pussy knob.pngHello Deadpoolers, I’m attempting to do my bit for our weekly death page by bringing you a weekly peek at the horrible, disgusting and terrifying diseases and conditions that will hopefully prove the downfall of those on your list.

This week we’re looking at a fairly recent threat to our genitals, that is, super gonorrhoea.  Super gonorrhoea (or as I prefer to call it ‘mutant clap’) has been in the news recently, as it emerged amongst some amorous feckers who aren’t sensible enough to wear a raincoat when making the beast with 2 backs.

The clap has been around since at least the 1600’s. It causes yellow or green discharge from yer bits, tummy ache and burny pee.  Obviously it’s a complete bugger to have running riot in your nethers and early treatments included various metals including mercury and weirdly an Indonesian pepper! Ultimately it became less serious and more treatable once penicillin was introduced.  While it isn’t strictly fatal by itself, the associated complications really can be, if not treated in time.

Right, back to the super in super gonorrhoea. In 2015, 16 cases of antibiotic resistant clap were reported in Northern England. This was probably helped by people not sticking to their treatment regimes.  The UK chief medical officer said that ‘gonorrhoea is at risk of becoming an untreatable disease’ and has ‘rapidly acquired resistance’ to the drugs we are using and as there are few alternative options for treatment we may soon be screwed.  Complications can range from sterility to sores on your nads (which if infected can kill).

I don’t know about you guys, but I know I don’t fancy getting gross, green genitals. I think I’ve just killed my libido. Shame that wasn’t on my list, eh?’

Next week peeps!

10th January 2016 | Categories: 2016 | Leave A Comment »

Dead Pool 3rd January 2016

Dead Pool BackgroundWelcome all to the brand new 2016 Dead Pool!! Please welcome all the new players and nod your head towards the old guard. We have now fully migrated to the new domain www.TheDeadPool.rip, so please update your bookmarks. Also the email has changed to mail@TheDeadPool.rip. After some teething trouble earlier this week, everything is now fully operational, pretty much like The Death Star!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

2015

2016

In Other News

Gay BurneIrish broadcaster Gay Byrne is said to be feeling better  after suffering a heart attack earlier this week and has thanked members of the public for their support. The 81-year-old was taken to hospital on Tuesday. He is best known for presenting The Late Late Show on Irish television between 1962 and 1999. Since then, he has continued to work for the Irish state broadcaster RTÉ, working on television and radio shows. “I’m feeling better and on the road to recovery. Thanks to all for the well wishes,” he said. High-profile RTÉ colleagues have expressed relief at news of the improvement in his condition, and the station said “all his friends and colleagues across RTÉ are thinking of him and wish him all the best with his recovery”. Despite cutting back on his workload in recent times, Byrne continues to host a weekly show on RTÉ Lyric FM as well as the ‘Meaning of Life’ television series on RTÉ One. The family have requested privacy following the incident.

nigel-farageNigel Farage has said police suspected sabotage after a wheel on his Volvo fell off while he was driving on a motorway. The Ukip leader claimed nuts on all of the wheels of his V70 were found to be loose after the “frightening” crash on a road near Dunkirk in France. He described how he was forced to stop after losing control on the motorway, fleeing the car and darting over a barrier to avoid oncoming traffic. “It was in the middle of bloody nowhere, and I was caught in a very bad position. There was a huge section of roadworks with cars going back and forth on the same side of the carriageway. “I suddenly realised I was losing steering but there was no hard shoulder to pull on to. I slowed down, put the hazards on and then one of the wheels came off. I jumped over the wall as quickly as I bloody well could to get away from lorries and everything.” When police arrived, they reportedly told him the cause was a malicious act but he decided not to take action. He has received death threats in the past but, when asked who he thought might be responsible, said: “I haven’t got a clue. Quite frankly, the way my life’s been over the past two and a half years, nothing surprises me.”

kuhntongdaengThe favourite dog of Thailand’s ailing monarch has died. The dog, called Tongdaeng (Copper), became both a household name and a publishing sensation in Thailand after King Bhumibol Adulyadej adopted her as a stray puppy and penned a heartfelt book about her attributes in 2002. She was praised for her loyalty and obedience, with the book widely interpreted at the time as a parable about how Thais should live and remember their place within the kingdom’s rigid society. Her death was announced in a statement from the veterinary faculty of Kasetsart University late Monday. “While Khun Tongdaeng was sleeping and relaxing, she died peacefully on 26th December 2015 at 11:10pm at Klai Kangwon Palace,” the statement read. The statement added that she had been ill for the last few years and was just over 17 years old when she passed away. An unnamed official at the university confirmed that the statement was genuine. She regularly featured in palace photographs while the book about her outsold bestsellers such as Harry Potter in Thailand.

Mike-TysonA clip shared by boxing legend Mike Tyson on Twitter shows the moment he tried out his daughter Milan’s ‘hoverboard’. At first, he manages to ride and spin the self-balancing scooter, however, he soon appears to lose control and ends up crashing to the floor. His daughter may have seen it coming, as she is heard saying: “Daddy, I don’t want you to fall.” Tyson, 49, posted the video on Twitter and said: “Seemed like a good idea to ride my daughter #milantyson #cyboard #hoverboard but guess not…” His fall, which sounded like a pound of wet flesh splatting on a hard concrete floor, proved popular on social media with thousands of shares.

Condom MachineA man died on Christmas Day in Germany after he was hit in the head by a flying piece of metal from a condom machine that he and two accomplices blew up in an apparent robbery attempt, police said on Monday. The 29-year-old man was taken to hospital in the western town of Schöppingen, near the Dutch border, by the two other men who fled the scene of the explosion in a car, leaving behind condoms and money scattered around the gutted vending machine. The two men told hospital officials that their friend had fallen down the stairs, injuring his head. Suspicious of their story, the officials called the police. During questioning, police said, one of them admitted that the three had blown up the condom machine, and that their fellow conspirator was hit in the head by metal as he tried to take cover. They should have taken precautions…

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

John Amos (76), Gerard Depardieu (67), Masi Oka (41), Stan Lee (93), Maggie Smith (81), Denzel Washington (61), Sienna Miller (34), Noomi Rapace (36), Marianne Faithfull (68), Ted Dansen (68), Jude Law (43), Danny McBride (39), Fred Ward (73), Patti Smith (69), Tracey Ullman (56), Jay Kay (46), Eliza Dushku (35), Ellie Goulding (29), Heidi Fleiss (50), LeBron James (31), Anthony Hopkins (78), Ben Kingsley (72), Val Kilmer (56), Verne Troyer (47), Tia Carrera (49), Cuba Gooding Jr. (48) and Kate Bosworth (33).

Next week peeps!

3rd January 2016 | Categories: 2016 | Leave A Comment »

Newer Entries »