Dead Pool 4th May 2014

Without doubt this week’s big news is the sad death  of Bob Hoskins at the age of 71. You may remember back in 2012 that I reported that he was retiring due to Parkinson’s Disease and I urged you all to remember to put his name down on your lists, which nobody did. *sigh*. So 79 points could have been yours if you had followed my advice. If only I had listened to myself…

Anyhow, onwards and upwards they say, lots to cover this week, so let’s make a start!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• DJ Rashad, 34, American footwork disc jockey, blood clot in leg.
• DJ E-Z Rock, 46, American hip-hop musician (Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock).
• Jane Macnaught, 55, British television producer (Coronation Street, Stars in their Eyes).
• Aleksandra Dranka, 110, Polish supercentenarian, nation’s oldest person.
• Al Feldstein, 88, American writer and editor (Mad, Tales from the Crypt).
• Bob Hoskins, 71, English actor (Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Mona Lisa, Hook), pneumonia.
• Clayton Lockett, 38, American convicted murderer, heart attack after botched lethal injection.
• Walter Walsh, 106, American FBI agent and Olympic shooter (1948), longest-living Olympic competitor.

In Other News

There’s been a slight uproar over in Oklahoma where they tried and finally succeeded in executing Clayton Lockett. The execution has been called ‘cruel, inhuman and degrading’ and may have been in violation of the Human Rights Laws. Lockett was restrained to a gurney and because no suitable vein could be found, the needle was administered to his groin. Due to ‘this and that’, it took Lockett 1hr 44 minutes to finally die. Now, you have to remember that this guy was convicted in 2000 and sentenced to death for the kidnap and murder of 19 year old, Stephanie Neiman, during a home invasion the previous year. She survived the initial assault, but Lockett ordered two accomplices to bury her alive. He also raped one of her friends. I’m sure nobody seemed to care for her human rights when she was being killed nor did anyone give a shit for her friend who was raped. The cunt got what he deserved, it’s just a shame it didn’t take longer.

Sir Roger Bannister, the first man to run a sub-4min mile whilst someone had a clock in their hand has revealed he has Parkinson’s Disease. The 85-year-old said he had known about the degenerative nervous disease for three years but only revealed it in a BBC radio interview marking the anniversary of his run in Oxford on 6 May, 1954. Now, please take note, I reported a similar story about Bob Hoskins! Hear what I’m saying??

Wilko Johnson, the former Dr Feelgood guitarist has had a major operation in an attempt to treat his pancreatic cancer. Johnson was diagnosed at the end of 2012 and was given 10 months to live after rejecting chemotherapy. But he defied the doctors’ predictions and it was recently found that his tumour was less aggressive than normal. He has now had the “football-size tumour” removed as well as his pancreas, spleen and part of his stomach. He has understandably cancelled 14 concerts.

Cellist Julian Lloyd Webber has announced that he has been forced to stop playing due to a herniated disc in his neck which has reduced the power in his right arm. The 63 year old is said to be devastated, not as devastated as us Julian! His final performance as a cellist will be on 2nd May at the Forum Theatre, Malvern. By the time you’ve read this he may have already committed suicide!  

Paul Simon and his wife Edie Brickell have been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. Officers were called to the couple’s New Canaan home at about 8pm on Saturday to investigate “a family dispute”. The pair, who have been married for more than 20 years, appeared in Norwalk Superior Court on Monday. A police spokesman said there had been “aggressiveness on both sides”. Officers who responded found minor injuries and believed it was a case of domestic violence, he went on. He did not confirm who was injured. Simon, 72, first found fame as one half of folk duo Simon and Garfunkel, while Brickell, 48, was lead singer of Edie Brickell & New Bohemians. Let’s see how bad this gets, nothing like a 72 year old being beaten up by his wife eh?

And finally, I can’t sign off without mentioning that slimy twat, Max Clifford. You may have seen that the fuckwit has been imprisoned on eight counts of  indecent assault against women and girls aged 14 to 19 alleged to have taken place between 1966 and 1984. The 71 year old is now serving 8 years for his part in raping young girls. I can’t say I ever liked the cunt, I hold him personally responsible for all the gutter press we now have to suffer. He’s ruined countless lives for profit and I for one am rejoicing that he’s now having to look for soap in a prison shower. It seems the only PR he was really interested in were paedophile rings. Good riddance! 

On This Day

• 1471 – Wars of the Roses: The Battle of Tewkesbury: Edward IV defeats a Lancastrian Army and kills Edward, Prince of Wales.
• 1675 – King Charles II of England orders the construction of the Royal Greenwich Observatory.
• 1904 – The United States begins construction of the Panama Canal.
• 1904 – Charles Stewart Rolls meets Frederick Henry Royce at the Midland Hotel in Manchester, England.
• 1932 – In Atlanta, Georgia, mobster Al Capone begins serving an eleven-year prison sentence for tax evasion.
• 1979 – Margaret Thatcher becomes the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
• 2000 – Ken Livingstone becomes the first Mayor of London.

Deaths

• 1471 – Edward of Westminster, Prince of Wales (b. 1453)
• 1984 – Diana Dors, English actress (b. 1931)
• 2009 – Dom DeLuise, American actor, director, and producer (b. 1933)

May 4th Star Wars Special by KoA

Since this is officially Star Wars Day, I thought I’d astound you with some facts and deaths relating to the epic saga. Firstly lets see who has already died that had connections with Star Wars:

• Graham Ashley portrayed Gold Five in Episode IV. He died on October 30, 1979.
• Eddie Byrne portrayed General Vanden Willard in Episode V. He died on August 2, 1981.
• Richard Marquand directed Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. He died on September 4, 1987 of a heart attack.
• Alex McCrindle portrayed Jan Dodonna in Episode IV. He passed away April 20, 1990.
• Anthony Lang portrayed BoShek in Episode IV. He died on March 2, 1992.
• Peter Cushing portrayed Grand Moff Tarkin in A New Hope. He passed away in August 1994.
• Tarik, the primary source for the voice of Chewbacca passed away in 1994 due to congestive heart failure. He was a black bear living in San Jose’s Happy Hollow Zoo.
• Sebastian Shaw portrayed Anakin Skywalker in the original version of Return of the Jedi. He died December 23, 1994.
• Morris Bush played Dengar in Episode V. He died in 1995.
• Jeremy Sinden portrayed Tiree in Episode IV. He died on May 29, 1996.
• Don Henderson portrayed General Cassio Tagge in Episode IV. He died on June 22, 1997.
• Jack Purvis portrayed the Chief Jawa and Ugnaught in Episodes IV and V, as well as Teebo in Episode 6. He died in November of 1997.
• Alec Guinness portrayed Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes IV-VI. He died August 5, 2000.
• Shelagh Fraser portrayed Aunt Beru in Episode IV. She died September 13, 2000.
• Ted Burnett portrayed Wuher the Bartender in Episode IV. He died on October 1, 2001.
• Claire Davenport portrayed Yarna d’al’ Gargan in Episode VI. She died on March 4, 2002.
• Des Webb portrayed the wampa in Episode V. He died on May 21, 2002.
• Bruce Boa portrayed General Rieekan in Episode V. He died on April 17, 2004.
• Michael Sheard portrayed Admiral Kendal Ozzel in The Empire Strikes Back. He died on August 31, 2005 after a battle with cancer.
• John Hollis portrayed Lobot in The Empire Strikes Back. He passed away on October 18, 2005.
• William Hootkins portrayed Jek Porkins in A New Hope. He passed away on October 23, 2005 from pancreatic cancer.
• Phil Brown played Owen Lars in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. He died on February 9, 2006.
• Stan Winston was a visual effects and makeup artist. He worked on the new Wookiee costumes for The Star Wars Holiday Special. He passed away on June 15, 2008 at the age of 62.
• Irvin Kershner was the director of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. He died on November 29, 2010 after a long illness.
• Colin Higgins, who played Wedge Antilles in the briefing scene of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. He passed away in December, 2012.
• Richard LeParmentier, who played the part of Admiral Motti in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, passed away on April 15, 2013, at age 66.
• Christopher Malcolm played Rogue Two in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. He died on February 15, 2014 at age 67.
• Malcolm Tierney played Shann Childsen in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. He died on February 18, 2014 at age 75. 

As you can see, there’s not many left! You should seriously consider listing all the main actors on next years lists, especially with some of them reaching a ripe old age, Harrison Ford (71), Mark Hamill (62), Carrie Fisher (57), Anthony Daniels (68), Kenny Baker (79), Peter Mayhew (69), David Prowse (78), James Earl Jones (83), Billy Dee Williams (77), Frank Oz (69) and Ian McDiarmid (69), just to name a few. 

You may have also heard that before the final parts of filming for Star Wars were to be completed, Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker was involved in a car crash. The plucky kid managed to squish his face in and had to have some reconstructive surgery to make him look human again. Luckily, all of his scenes were completed by using a stand-in, but for filming Empire, a scene had to be added of Skywalker being mauled by a Wampa to explain his facial disfigurement. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Michelle Pfeiffer (56), Jerry Seinfeld (60), Jessica Alba (33), Jay Leno (64), David Beckham (39), Uma Thurman (44), Christina Hendricks (39), Willie Nelson (81), Daniel Day Lewis (57), Penelope Cruz (40), Frankie Valli (80), Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (42), Kirsten Dunst (32), Casey Kasem (82), Andre Agassi (44), Burt Young (74), Ann-Margret (73), Harper Lee (88), Sheena Easton (55), Julie Benz (42), Wes Anderson (45), Anouk Aimee (82), Kate Mulgrew (59), Jane Campion (60), Ray Parker Jr (60), Englebert Humperdinck (78) and Lily Allen (29).

2013 League Table

[confidential]

Next week peeps!