Dead Pool 4th May 2014

Bob HoskinsWithout doubt this week’s big news is the sad death  of Bob Hoskins at the age of 71. You may remember back in 2012 that I reported that he was retiring due to Parkinson’s Disease and I urged you all to remember to put his name down on your lists, which nobody did. *sigh*. So 79 points could have been yours if you had followed my advice. If only I had listened to myself…

Anyhow, onwards and upwards they say, lots to cover this week, so let’s make a start!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

off_lookup_Clayton_LockettThere’s been a slight uproar over in Oklahoma where they tried and finally succeeded in executing Clayton Lockett. The execution has been called ‘cruel, inhuman and degrading’ and may have been in violation of the Human Rights Laws. Lockett was restrained to a gurney and because no suitable vein could be found, the needle was administered to his groin. Due to ‘this and that’, it took Lockett 1hr 44 minutes to finally die. Now, you have to remember that this guy was convicted in 2000 and sentenced to death for the kidnap and murder of 19 year old, Stephanie Neiman, during a home invasion the previous year. She survived the initial assault, but Lockett ordered two accomplices to bury her alive. He also raped one of her friends. I’m sure nobody seemed to care for her human rights when she was being killed nor did anyone give a shit for her friend who was raped. The cunt got what he deserved, it’s just a shame it didn’t take longer.

Sir Roger Bannister 80th Birthday PhotocallSir Roger Bannister, the first man to run a sub-4min mile whilst someone had a clock in their hand has revealed he has Parkinson’s Disease. The 85-year-old said he had known about the degenerative nervous disease for three years but only revealed it in a BBC radio interview marking the anniversary of his run in Oxford on 6 May, 1954. Now, please take note, I reported a similar story about Bob Hoskins! Hear what I’m saying??

_74556634_wilkopaWilko Johnson, the former Dr Feelgood guitarist has had a major operation in an attempt to treat his pancreatic cancer. Johnson was diagnosed at the end of 2012 and was given 10 months to live after rejecting chemotherapy. But he defied the doctors’ predictions and it was recently found that his tumour was less aggressive than normal. He has now had the “football-size tumour” removed as well as his pancreas, spleen and part of his stomach. He has understandably cancelled 14 concerts.

Cellist Julian Lloyd Webber has announced that he has been forced to stop playing due to a herniated disc in his neck which has reduced the power in his right arm. The 63 year old is said to be devastated, not as devastated as us Julian! His final performance as a cellist will be on 2nd May at the Forum Theatre, Malvern. By the time you’ve read this he may have already committed suicide!  

paul-simon-edie-brickell-arrestPaul Simon and his wife Edie Brickell have been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. Officers were called to the couple’s New Canaan home at about 8pm on Saturday to investigate “a family dispute”. The pair, who have been married for more than 20 years, appeared in Norwalk Superior Court on Monday. A police spokesman said there had been “aggressiveness on both sides”. Officers who responded found minor injuries and believed it was a case of domestic violence, he went on. He did not confirm who was injured. Simon, 72, first found fame as one half of folk duo Simon and Garfunkel, while Brickell, 48, was lead singer of Edie Brickell & New Bohemians. Let’s see how bad this gets, nothing like a 72 year old being beaten up by his wife eh?

max-clifford-pic-getty-516684657And finally, I can’t sign off without mentioning that slimy twat, Max Clifford. You may have seen that the fuckwit has been imprisoned on eight counts of  indecent assault against women and girls aged 14 to 19 alleged to have taken place between 1966 and 1984. The 71 year old is now serving 8 years for his part in raping young girls. I can’t say I ever liked the cunt, I hold him personally responsible for all the gutter press we now have to suffer. He’s ruined countless lives for profit and I for one am rejoicing that he’s now having to look for soap in a prison shower. It seems the only PR he was really interested in were paedophile rings. Good riddance! 

On This Day


May 4th Star Wars Special by KoA

Star-Wars-PosterSince this is officially Star Wars Day, I thought I’d astound you with some facts and deaths relating to the epic saga. Firstly lets see who has already died that had connections with Star Wars:

return of the jedi castAs you can see, there’s not many left! You should seriously consider listing all the main actors on next years lists, especially with some of them reaching a ripe old age, Harrison Ford (71), Mark Hamill (62), Carrie Fisher (57), Anthony Daniels (68), Kenny Baker (79), Peter Mayhew (69), David Prowse (78), James Earl Jones (83), Billy Dee Williams (77), Frank Oz (69) and Ian McDiarmid (69), just to name a few. 

tumblr_lpd3uo5Efn1qmnqf0o1_500You may have also heard that before the final parts of filming for Star Wars were to be completed, Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker was involved in a car crash. The plucky kid managed to squish his face in and had to have some reconstructive surgery to make him look human again. Luckily, all of his scenes were completed by using a stand-in, but for filming Empire, a scene had to be added of Skywalker being mauled by a Wampa to explain his facial disfigurement. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Michelle Pfeiffer (56), Jerry Seinfeld (60), Jessica Alba (33), Jay Leno (64), David Beckham (39), Uma Thurman (44), Christina Hendricks (39), Willie Nelson (81), Daniel Day Lewis (57), Penelope Cruz (40), Frankie Valli (80), Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (42), Kirsten Dunst (32), Casey Kasem (82), Andre Agassi (44), Burt Young (74), Ann-Margret (73), Harper Lee (88), Sheena Easton (55), Julie Benz (42), Wes Anderson (45), Anouk Aimee (82), Kate Mulgrew (59), Jane Campion (60), Ray Parker Jr (60), Englebert Humperdinck (78) and Lily Allen (29).

2013 League Table


Next week peeps!

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