Dead Pool 25th October 2020

Sad times when a Disney character dies… But what else would 2020 be if not totally crap? At least The Amazing Randi will now be able to annoy proper psychics by haunting their crystal balls from now on, he’d had a long life considering most of his career was based on spoiling magicians secrets and debunking faith healers.  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Spencer Davis, 81, Welsh musician (The Spencer Davis Group), pneumonia.  
• James Randi, 92, Canadian-American magician and skeptic, founder of the JREF and co-founder of the CSI. 
• Marge Champion, 101, American actress (Show Boat, Give a Girl a Break), choreographer and model (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs). 
• Johnny Leeze, 78, English actor (Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Last of the Summer Wine), COVID-19.
• Joan Hocquard, 112, British supercentenarian, oldest person in the United Kingdom.

In Other News

Hollywood star Robert Redford, 84, is “in mourning” following the death of his son James at the age of 58. Activist and filmmaker James Redford died on Friday after being diagnosed with liver cancer, his wife Kyle confirmed via Twitter. His famous father’s publicist, Cindi Berger, said: “The grief is immeasurable with the loss of a child.” “Jamie [James] was a loving son, husband and father,” added Berger, who asked for privacy for the Redford family “during this difficult time”. “His legacy lives on through his children, art, filmmaking and devoted passion to conservation and the environment.” Redford’s son James made documentary films, including The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia. His latest film Playing Keeps, which explored the importance of play and downtime in our lives, was given a virtual premiere online at this month’s Mill Valley Film Festival in California. His wife of 32 years, Kyle, shared the news of his death online, alongside pictures of the couple and their two children. She told the Salt Lake Tribune that James had discovered the cancer diagnosis late last year while awaiting a liver transplant. His liver disease had returned two years ago, she added.  

Arnold Schwarzenegger is recovering after undergoing heart surgery. The Terminator star told fans he feels “fantastic” after being given a new aortic valve. The 73-year-old was given a new pulmonary valve in 2018 to replace the one he received in 1997, due to a congenital heart defect. He’s now more machine than human! In a post to social media, Schwarzenegger thanked doctors at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, and said he had been enjoying the local sights since his operation. Photos showed him in a hospital bed with his thumbs up, and other pictures of him exploring the area. “Thanks to the team at the Cleveland Clinic, I have a new aortic valve to go along with my new pulmonary valve from my last surgery,” he wrote. “I feel fantastic and have already been walking the streets of Cleveland enjoying your amazing statues. Thank you to every doc and nurse on my team! Schwarzenegger’s son Patrick commented on the Instagram post, joking: “PLEASE DON’T GO WORK OUT TODAY.”  

Thanks to Paul G. for this little beauty of a story from The Yorkshire Herald but to be taken with a pinch of salt I suppose! A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started as a typical inking session left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Furious film fan and part-time plus-size XXXL model Tracey Munter, 23, had visited the ‘Ink It Good’ Tattoo Emporium in Wellgate, Yorkshire last week, to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur. Tattooist Jason Burns takes up the story. “It was a  big job in more ways than one.”   he told us “I’d just lit a roll-up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work. The next thing is, I  sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her arse to my fag and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire.” Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel. The fire had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong, which was smoking like a cheap firework. “To be honest”, said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there, and I’d have been none the wiser.” Jason and Tracey were taken to Rotherham District Hospital accident and emergency department where they were treated for minor burns and shock. Both are adamant that the other is to blame. “I’m furious,” said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog, and my left eyebrow’s not there anymore. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind would be more appropriate. You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous.” But Tracey remains both angry and unrepentant; “I’m still in agony,” she said, “and  Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a fag on the go when he’s doing close up work; there’s no way I’d guff on purpose. He’d had me on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that I give him my five-second warning, and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just quietly crept out.” Ted Walters from the South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue service wasn’t surprised when we asked him to comment on what had happened “People don’t appreciate the dangers.“  he told us, “We get more call-outs to flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days now that people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan ‘Flame ‘n fart – keep ’em apart’. Anyone engaging in an arse-inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future.” On behalf of the entire Fire and Rescue service, we wish them both a swift recovery.

On This Day

• 1415 – Hundred Years’ War: Henry V of England, with his lightly armoured infantry and archers, defeats the heavily armoured French cavalry in the Battle of Agincourt.
• 1854 – The Battle of Balaclava takes place during the Crimean War. It is soon memorialised in verse as The Charge of the Light Brigade.  

Deaths

• 1400 – Geoffrey Chaucer, English philosopher, poet, and author (b. 1343)  
• 1993 – Vincent Price, American actor (b. 1911)  
• 2002 – Richard Harris, Irish actor and singer (b. 1930)  
• 2004 – John Peel, English radio host and producer (b. 1939)

Last Meals

Edmund Zagorski was an American convicted murderer from Michigan who was executed by the state of Tennessee for the 1983 murders of John Dotson and Jimmy Porter in Robertson County. Zagorski lured the two men into a wooded hunting ground under the pretence of selling them 100lb (45 kg) of marijuana – before shooting them and slitting their throats. 

Zagorski first met John Dale Dotson on April 5th 1983 at a trout farm. Zagorski introduced himself to Dotson and his wife Marsha under the guise of being a mercenary based in Central America named Jesse Lee Hardin. Zagorski convinced Dotson that he would be able to sell as much as 100 pounds of marijuana for around $25,000 as early as April 21st. Following this, the two scheduled a meeting in a wooded hunting ground in Robertson County for 6:00 pm on Saturday, April 23rd 1983. Before he left to meet Zagorski on April 23rd, Dotson was described by his wife Marsha as “somewhat hesitant” and allegedly asked her to call a friend if he failed to return that night. After leaving, he met his friend James “Jimmy” Porter at Porter’s tavern, near the arranged meeting location. Dotson had a change of clothes, a backpack and a revolver. The two men promptly left in Porter’s truck to meet Zagorski. At around 5:30 pm, the owner of the trout farm where Zagorski and Dotson first met heard gunshots coming from the area where he knew the three men had arranged to meet. However, little action was taken as gunshots were common in the area due to deer hunting. Almost two weeks later, on May 6, the bodies of Dotson and Porter were found in that same wooded area. The bodies had decomposed quickly, in part due to a burgeoning heat wave; however it was concluded that both men had been shot and their throats had been slit. Ballistics tests matched a bullet casing found at the scene to a gun owned by Zagorski.  

In late April, days after the murders, Zagorski arrived at a friend’s house in Ohio. The friend in question observed that Zagorski was in possession of numerous items belonging to Dotson and Porter, including Porter’s red Datsun truck, as well as a large amount of money. Zagorski was ultimately arrested on May 26th 1983 following a shootout with Ohio police, during which he shot a number of officers, before he himself was shot, subdued, and arrested. Zagorski was convicted of murdering Dotson and Porter and was sentenced to death by electrocution.  

At around 4pm on November 1st 2018, Zagorski ate a final meal of pickled ham hock and pig tails: he had previously rejected a special last meal. Zagorski was executed by electrocution on Thursday, November 1st 2018, at the Riverbend Maximum Security Institution in Nashville, being pronounced dead at 7:26 pm. His last words were reportedly, “Let’s rock”.

Last Week’s Birthdays

Craig Robinson (49), Nancy Cartwright (63), Katy Perry (36), Glynis Barber (65), Kevin Kline (73), F. Murray Abraham (81), Ryan Reynolds (44), Emilia Clarke (34), Sam Raimi (61), ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic (61), Christopher Lloyd (82), Jeff Goldblum (68), Saffron Burrows (48), Bob Odenkirk (58), Derek Jacobi (82), Catherine Deneuve (77), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (45), Andrew Scott (44), Ken Watanabe (61), Everett McGill (75), Kim Kardashian West (40), Viggo Mortensen (62), Danny Boyle (64), Snoop Dogg (49), Sandra Dickinson (72), Rebecca Ferguson (37), Michael Gambon (80), and John Lithgow (75).