Dead Pool 24th May 2015
In a week where nothing seems to have happened in the celebrity death scene, I’ve managed to cobble together a small write up whilst pissed on Eurovision wine. Count yourselves lucky that anything at all was written! I best send out the evil flying monkeys again, otherwise next week will be just as dismal!
Look Who You Could Have Had:
- Dean Potter, 43, American rock climber, BASE-jumping accident.
- Charlotte Klamroth, 111, German supercentenarian, nation’s oldest person.
- State of Bengal, 50, Bangladeshi-born British DJ and music producer.
- Twinkle, 66, British singer-songwriter (“Terry“), cancer.
- Terry Sue-Patt, 50, British actor (Grange Hill).
In Other News
Sadly, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson has been given the all clear from cancer. Diagnosed during a routine check-up just before Christmas in 2014, a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy for a cancerous tumour on his tongue has been successful: “We are very happy to announce that following his recent MRI scan, Bruce was today officially given the all-clear by his specialists,” the band said in a statement. In a post on the Iron Maiden website, the 56-year-old artist thanked his fans, family and his medical team for their support and treatment which has led to this “amazing outcome.” There’s always a chance for a relapse isn’t there?
The family of F1 driver Jules Bianchi are still hoping for miracle but admit the situation has become “stagnant”, very much like the bowl of piss under my bed. Bianchi, 25, has been unconscious since crashing into a recovery vehicle during last October’s Japanese Grand Prix. “While there’s life, there’s hope, even though after a while you are hoping for a miracle,” Philippe Bianchi said. He added: “We have to think about death because we are in a situation where we know a lot of things can happen. It’s terrible. In neurological terms, I’m not sure he is able to do much now.”
Saudi Arabia is advertising for eight new executioners, recruiting extra staff to carry out an increasing number of death sentences usually done by public beheading. No special qualifications are needed for the jobs whose main role is “executing a judgment of death” but also involve performing amputations on those convicted of lesser offences. The Islamic kingdom is in the top five countries in the world for putting people to death, so you should keep this in mind when you make your next list! It ranked third in 2014, after China and Iran, and ahead of Iraq and the United States, according to Amnesty International figures. If you’re interested, a downloadable pdf application form is available. The job is classified as “religious functionary” and that it would be at the lower end of the civil service pay scale.
And finally, a Singaporean man has died after falling off a cliff and into the sea while attempting to take a selfie on an island off the coast of Bali in Indonesia. Mohamed Aslam Shahul, 21, was killed after losing his balance and falling into the sea from a two-metre high cliff, during a holiday with eight friends at the Sandy Bay Beach in Nusa Lembongan. Apparently he couldn’t swim… The news of his death emerged as another selfie-related incident was reported in Russia, a young woman accidentally shot herself in the head while taking a photograph of herself. The 21-year-old was said to have been posing while pointing a 9mm handgun to her head. She had found the gun at her Moscow office left behind by a security guard. While taking a selfie with one hand, she accidentally pressed the gun’s trigger instead of the shutter, shooting herself in the temple at close range, according to reports. The woman was in a “serious condition” today, a spokeswoman for Moscow’s Sklifosovsky hospital told RIA Novosti state news agency. Darwinism is not a theory people!
On This Day
- 1607 – One hundred English settlers disembark in Jamestown, the first English colony in America.
- 1895 – Henry Irving becomes the first person from the theatre to be knighted.
- 1930 – Amy Johnson lands in Darwin, Northern Territory, becoming the first woman to fly solo from England to Australia (she left on May 5 for the 11,000 mile flight).
- 1940 – Igor Sikorsky performs the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight.
- 1956 – The first Eurovision Song Contest is held in Lugano, Switzerland.
- 1960 – Following the 1960 Valdivia earthquake, the largest ever recorded earthquake, Cordón Caulle begins to erupt.
- 1543 – Nicolaus Copernicus, Polish mathematician and astronomer (b. 1473)
- 1963 – Elmore James, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1918)
- 1974 – Duke Ellington, American pianist and composer (b. 1899)
- 1995 – Harold Wilson, English politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1916)
Last Week’s Birthdays
Tina Fey (45), Sam Smith (23), Joan Collins (82), Pete Townshend (70), Naomi Campbell (45), Mr. T (63), Cher (69), Grace Jones (67), Jack Gleeson (23), Bill Paxton (60), Judge Reinhold (58), Morrissey (56), Enya (54), Trent Reznor (50), Jordan Knight (45), Sugar Ray Leonard (59), Busta Rhymes (43), Marvin Hagler (61), Andrea Corr (41) and Chow Yun Fat (60).
Next Week peeps!