Dead Pool 21st September 2014

Dead Pool Background

Welcome Poolers, alas this week is very thin on the ground for celebrity deaths. I blame the glut of deaths last week, we just can’t keep the momentum going. However, we wont let that stop us from enjoying the news and other features we have become accustomed to. I would suggest that you might like to start thinking about next years list, we have little over three months to go, so get your thinking caps on.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Unknown-1After last weeks revelation that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford had a tumour, it’s now come to light that he has been diagnosed with a “fairly aggressive” rare cancer. Mr Ford, 45, has a malignant liposarcoma in his abdomen and will begin chemotherapy as soon as possible. According to reports he has a 12cm by 12cm sized tumour in his abdomen and another smaller 2cm tumour in his left buttock, which are believed to have grown within the last three years. His doctor said on Wednesday that it was “impossible to predict” how chemotherapy was going to affect Mr Ford. So a very good candidate for next year, if he lasts…

Swedish King Carl XVI Gustaf has been involved in a car  crash, but is not hurt, the royal palace says. The king was being driven to an airport in Stockholm on Wednesday morning when the collision took place. The car was badly damaged but the king was uninjured and continued his journey in another car, local media said. There have been no reports of other injuries. Photos published in local media showed damage to the front of the car, a dark blue Mercedes, with one air bag deployed. The 68-year-old ascended the throne in 1973. He is best known abroad for presenting the annual Nobel Prizes.

The Newcastle United winger Jonás Gutiérrez has been sent messages of support by former team-mates and supporters groups after revealing he is being treated for testicular cancer in his native Argentina. The 31-year-old midfielder told Argentinian TV he has undergone chemotherapy after having surgery following the discovery of a tumour, which was first noticed last year. Let’s hope his balls recover for long enough so we can list him next year.

An 81-year-old Austrian billionaire, known for the famous partners he invites to the annual Vienna Opera Ball, has married 24-year-old Playboy model Cathy Schmitz. The pair wedded at Schönbrunn palace – a 1,441-room summer residence in Vienna – after meeting in February this year and becoming engaged in August. Billionaire Richard Lugner acknowleged their 57-year age gap, but  “Apart from the big age difference, everything fits,” he said. Cathy announced her marriage on her Facebook page with the words “In love, engaged, married!” along with a picture of her wedding ring. She later wrote that the day was “an incredible and unforgettable experience” whilst listening to imaginary cash register sounds in her vacuous head.

A Belgian man serving a life sentence for rape and murder will be allowed to have doctors end his life, after a landmark ruling which could become European Law. Unable to control his violent sexual urges, Frank Van Den Bleeken, who is 50, argued he would never be freed. This opens the doors to many other ‘lifers’ who would rather die than pay for their crimes by rotting in jail. Should this become a president in law, the Dead Pool could become a busy place!

And finally, a 65-year-old woman from Bangkok has killed herself by jumping into a pit of crocodiles at a reptile farm near the capital. In an inspired but stupid notion, witnesses saw Wanpen Inyai jumping into a pond at Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo on Friday. Staff failed to rescue her. According to reports, she took off her shoes before jumping into the middle of a pond said to be up to 3m deep that contained hundreds of adult crocodiles. At least we can learn from her death, if you’re going to kill yourself, make sure you don’t ruin your shoes.

On This Day

Deaths

Do Not Believe What You Read On T’Internet  by Nickie

(Ever)… 

For those of you who take Twitter as it comes, then seeing a ‘celebrity death’ tweet piques your interest, yes? Even more so if you’re into dead stuff!

Now, maybe football doesn’t really tickle your fancy (it doesn’t float my boat) but when you see a name from your nostalgic past and the word “death or died” in the same tweet sentence then your nostalgic sense pricks up.

Then this is what happens…

You retweet the RIP Tweet

Then you tweet something which includes the words “#deadpool @kingofankh”

You then doubt your retweet but forget about it and drink wine

Then someone (*cough @kingofankh cough*) remembers that the said famous person died 10 years ago and you sink into your settee with shame

Then you look up “died in 2004 IMDB” on Google and you find this

http://www.imdb.com/search/name?death_date=2004

And you go… Holy shit… Christopher Reeve, OMG… Rodney Dangerfield , Fuck me.. Marlon Brando, Aawww… Jerry Orbach

And you keep scrolling and realise that it’s okay to “forget” about famous people dying but it’s also okay to randomly remember how good they were too… So good that you forgot that they were already dead and you’re shocked that you forgot.

*(Ed) Just like Brian Clough… *ahem*

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sophia Loren (80), Twiggy (64), Jimmy Fallon (40), Jeremy Irons (66), Adam West (86), Lance Armstrong (43), Jada Pinkett Smith (43), Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (63), Mickey Rourke (62), David Copperfield (58), Prince Harry (30), Tommy Lee Jones (68), Sam Neill (67), Oliver Stone (68), B.B. King (87), George R.R. Martin (66), David McCallum (81), Baz Luhrmann (52) and Bryan Singer (49).

2013 League Table

[confidential]

Next week peeps!

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