Dead Pool 17th January 2016

The Dead PoolWelcome poolers, to a sadness filled edition of The Dead Pool. The flying monkeys have indeed been busy, taking from us a host of people, but primarily David Bowie and Alan Rickman, both much loved for the work they did. However, the Reaper waits for no man, and we all missed a bunch of points there, in fact with all the deaths last week, everyone failed to score! Luckily we’re experiencing a huge cold snap, you know how old people hate the cold right?

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

David-CameronIn what we could only describe as wishful thinking, a radio presenter announced the death of David Cameron in a news report about the death of singer David Bowie. Fiona Winchester, a newsreader across Global Radio-owned stations Heart, Smooth, LBC and Capital, was reading the news for Heart FM on Monday morning when she made the gaffe. A tongue-tied Winchester said “David Cameron has died” before quickly correcting herself and replacing the prime minister’s name with Bowie, who has died of cancer aged 69. If only her story was true! So, now that Bowie is dead, please rush out to buy all of his albums, because you never appreciated him when he was alive as you’re a sheep following the masses.

celine-dionWe’d better keep an eye on Celine Dion, because days after her husband and manager died of cancer, a family spokesman said on Saturday that the Canadian singer lost a brother to cancer too! Daniel Dion was 59. He was the eighth of 14 Dion siblings, so she does have some to spare. Strangely, both men suffered from throat cancer. Mr Angelil’s funeral will be held on Friday at the Notre-Dame Basilica in Montreal where the couple married. The following day a memorial service will be held for her late brother, with a formal funeral a few days after that, the family spokesman said.  I’m sure Celine’s heart will go on…

peresFormer Israeli President Shimon Peres has undergone a “successful minor surgery” after suffering small heart attack, officials have said. Mr Peres, 92, was treated for a constricted artery that had caused chest pain, his spokesman Ayelet Frisch said. The veteran politician is said to be “conscious and in stable condition” in hospital in Tel Aviv. Mr Peres twice served as prime minister and was president from 2007 to 2014. His personal physician Raphi Walden said he was expected to stay in the Tel Hashomer hospital for “a few days”. Despite his age, Mr Peres has maintained an active public schedule, mostly through his non-governmental Peres Centre for Peace, which promotes closer ties between Israel and the Palestinians.

BobBob Mortimer came so close to death he was given special permission to marry his long-term girlfriend just half an hour  before undergoing a triple heart bypass. The comedian, one half of double act Reeves and Mortimer, was told last autumn he needed surgery because his arteries were 95 percent blocked. He wed his partner of 22 years Lisa Matthews on the morning of the operation. Couples are usually required to give 28 days’ notice to their local register office before the ceremony, but special dispensation can be granted if the bride or groom is suffering from a terminal illness or has an operation for a serious illness scheduled. Mortimer, 56, said: “I found out on the Thursday that I needed surgery, so I made a will on the Friday. My consultant said I was incredibly ill, so the registrar in London gave me permission to get married on the Monday. So I got married at 9.30am on the Monday, and went to hospital at 10am to have my operation.” His comedy partner Vic Reeves did not have the opportunity to be his best man because the only guests at the ceremony were the couple’s two children, Harry and Tom. The news of his heart problems “came completely out of the blue” after visiting the doctor with a suspected chest infection, he said. He added: “I’ve just redone all my tests and they said if I was a builder or a scaffolder I would be absolutely fine to do the show. And we don’t do anything like heavy labour in it.” But Mortimer still has to monitor his health, with a device that gives a constant reading of his heart rate. If it goes above a certain limit, he would have to stop the show.

tumour packageAnd finally, a British man received quite a shock when the courier service that was supposed to be delivering a Kindle to his address sent him a package containing a tumour tissue sample from America instead. The sample was supposed to be sent to the Royal Free Hospital in London, yet somehow ended up in Bristol at the home of James Potten, who had been expecting to receive the e-reader, which he had ordered online. FedEx had initially delivered the package to Mr Potten’s door while he was out, so he contacted the courier asking them to return once he got home. The driver then headed back to the house, bearing a package with the recipient’s name and address. However, when Mr Potten opened the parcel, he discovered a box marked “patient tumour – specimen enclosed.” After seeing this, the still Kindle-less environmental consultant got back in touch with FedEx, asking them to retrieve the package and deliver it to the correct address. Meanwhile, the Royal Free Hospital has confirmed that a package destined for one of its institutions had been erroneously delivered to an address in Bristol, and says it will now seek “answers from the delivery company as to how this mistake was made.” Apparently there is still no sign of the Kindle.

On This Day


Ceri’s Grisly Corner

RABID - Foaming MouthGenerally we think of rabies as something that happens somewhere else, mainly because it does, however the population of our lists are fairly elsewhere (other than incarcerated ones) in nature too or at least travel a lot.

Rabies, or bitey frothy mouth disease is caused by a virus passed between mammals when the infected creature bites, scratches or otherwise passes the virus into the uninfected one. It causes fever and tingling in the site of infection leading to inability to move body parts or jerky movement, excitement, confusion, fear of water and aggression. All lovely symptoms to have, I’m sure you’d agree!

Once you have been bit, scratched or even licked by something that might be infected you need to have the vaccine as soon as possible as other than a few recent cases treated with the ‘Milwaukee protocol’ (mainly involving an induced coma) its 100% fatal once it gets to the brain.

Rabies (from the Latin for madness) leads to inflammation of the brain where it causes behaviour changes and movement problems. Animals infected with Rabies will often change their normal routine such as being active during the day if nocturnal or the reverse, leading to an increased chance of encountering other animals and so being more likely to pass on the virus. Moral being don’t let a drooling lurchy animal into your house!

Rabies has been around since at least 2000 BCE and has always been a source of fear leading to owners of rabid dogs being heavily fined if their dog bit a person, I’m not sure if you’d be fined if your own dog bit you though. There were many culls of stray dogs and cats carried out during the 18th century however as people like fluffy animals in general the culls were not fully enforced and so were not particularly helpful in reducing the spread; idiots! During the 19th century the increased understanding of dogs and disease led to more helpful initiatives such as quarantine which is the main reason behind the UK being rabies free and is still used today.

Salems-Lot-1979Over the years many stories and fantasy creatures have evolved from our collective fear of rabies, especially the behaviour changes. Werewolves (people acting more like dogs with rabies presumably), Vampires (people biting people) and even Zombies (lurching body movements, biting and aggression while having their personality destroyed) are thought to have emerged from legends and myths surrounding rabies.

It’s a rather nasty condition and I probably wouldn’t wish it on anyone on my list really. Even the pretty nasty ones, however I guess the ones in prison are kind of quarantined anyway so if it were to happen at least it wouldn’t lead to a zombie plague!

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rod Stewart (71), Kate Moss (42), Jason Bateman (47), Faye Dunaway (75), Orlando Bloom (39), Kirsty Alley (65), Pat Benatar (63), Howard Stern (62), Mary J. Blige (45), George Forman (67), Liam Hemsworth (26), LL Cool J (48), Dave Grohl (47), Carl Weathers (68), Melanie Chisholm (42), Pixie Lott (25), Amanda Peet (44) and Evan Handler (55).

Next week peeps!

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