Dead Pool 15th June 2014

When I sent out the flying monkeys last week, little did I know that they would reap so many souls! Amongst them Rik Mayall, a true comedy genius and top bloke. I’m sure all of us will miss his comic talents. Sadly the game continues and yes, there are points to be awarded! We shall begin with Rebecca correctly guessing Carla Laemmele would die this year, but being 104 years old only reaps her 46 points, but well done anyway, that’s 46 points more than the rest of us! But this is not all my fellow morbid minions, Lee and Luke correctly surmised that the oldest man in the world would die, again, a small amount of points awarded, 39 each, but an extra 100 to Lee for marking him as his cert. Woo! Just what we needed, a little shake-up in the league table where we now have a new points leader!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Eric Hill, 86, British children’s writer and illustrator (Spot the Dog).
• Alexander Imich, 111, Russian Congress Poland-born American chemist, parapsychologist and supercentenarian, oldest man in the world.
• Veronica Lazăr, 76, Romanian-born Italian actress (Inferno, Last Tango in Paris, The Stendhal Syndrome).
• Rik Mayall, 56, English comedian, writer and actor (The Young Ones, Bottom, The New Statesman), Emmy Award winner (The Wind in the Willows), heart attack.
• Ruby Dee, 91, American Emmy Award-winning actress (Decoration Day), Grammy Award-winner (2007) and civil rights activist, National Medal of Arts laureate (1995).
• Carla Laemmle, 104, American actress (The Phantom of the Opera, The Broadway Melody, Dracula), natural causes.
• Jimmy Scott, 88, American jazz singer.
• Richard Rockefeller, 65, American billionaire physician, plane crash.
• Sam Kelly, 70, British actor (‘Allo ‘Allo!, Porridge).

In Other News

Harrison Ford has been injured on the set of Star Wars:  Episode VII and was taken to hospital, seems the 71 year old has broken his ankle when the door of the Millennium Falcon decided to attack him. His wife, Calista Flockhart is now en-route to be at his bedside as they fear he might have damaged his pelvis too! Filming of the new Star Wars film will continue in his absence but if his recovery is not as straight forward as some reports are suggesting, it looks like the tight scheduling of the shoot might be in danger. We all know what happens when an old fart breaks a hip don’t we!

In birthday news, Prince Philip managed to reach the ripe old age of 93 without any undue mishap. No time to enjoy his birthday though, the old codger has a diary full of events that he has to attend, so it looks like he’s here to stay for a while longer. Not to be outdone, George Bush Snr celebrated his 90th birthday by jumping out of a helicopter, much like The Queen did during the Olympics!! The 41st president of the United States was strapped to an instructor as he can no longer use his legs due to Parkinson’s, but enjoyed the experience immensely.

Casey Kasem is in a bad place. The voice of Shaggy in Scooby-Doo is in the middle of a family feud about his vast fortune and impending death. The courts have decided that his eldest daughter, a millionaire in her own right, is to be his care giver and she’s decided that the 82 year old is to be spared the indignity of treatment, so his food, water and medication have been withheld. So now its just a matter of time, one feels a quick smothering with a pillow would be better for the poor fucker.

The novelist and former MP Jeffrey Archer has revealed that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer late last year. After the diagnosis, he chose to have an operation in which the whole prostate and the cancer would be removed, rather than go through radiotherapy. The 74 year old is now infertile, but I doubt that will cause him any sleepless nights. Sadly he’s still writing crap novels and reckons he’ll survive to see 88. Lets hope for a passing bus shall we?

If you were looking to go see a concert with Morrissey or Paul McCartney any time soon, sell your ticket, both of them are too ill to sing. Paul  has been ill since early May with the squits since visiting Japan, but Morrissey was hospitalised with a respiratory infection. He’s cancelled the rest of his US tour which is a repeat of last year when he cancelled 22 shows due to ill health. His previous ailments have included pneumonia, an ulcer, the throat condition Barrett’s oesophagus and anaemia. Morrissey, being the cunt that he is, publicly blamed his support act Kirsteen Young for passing on a ‘horrendous cold’. She’s obviously a bit angry about these ‘bizarre lies’. Better order some lilies soon…

On This Day

• 1215 – King John of England puts his seal to the Magna Carta.
• 1667 – The first human blood transfusion is administered by Dr. Jean-Baptiste Denys.
• 1752 – Benjamin Franklin proves that lightning is electricity (traditional date, the exact date is unknown).
• 1785 – Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier, co-pilot of the first-ever manned flight (1783), and his companion, Pierre Romain, become the first-ever casualties of an air crash when their hot air balloon explodes during their attempt to cross the English Channel.
• 1878 – Eadweard Muybridge takes a series of photographs to prove that all four feet of a horse leave the ground when it runs; the study becomes the basis of motion pictures.
• 1970 – Charles Manson Infamous trial for the Sharon Tate murders begin.
• 1996 – The Provisional Irish Republican Army explodes a large bomb in the middle of Manchester, England, United Kingdom.

Deaths

• 1993 – James Hunt, English race car driver (b. 1947)
• 1996 – Ella Fitzgerald, American singer and actress (b. 1917)
• 2008 – Stan Winston, American makeup artist and director (b. 1946)

Death Row Prisoners Last Meals by KoA

This week we’re taking a peek at what Timothy McVeigh had for his parting dinner. You’ll remember him as the chap responsible for the Oklahoma Bombing that killed 168 people and injured 600 more, which is still the worst act of domestic terrorism in the US, the only other that beats it is 9/11, but some Johnny Foreigners were responsible for that one!

McVeigh was an odd sort, his whole reason for the bombing was revenge against the federal government for their  handling of the Waco Siege. He obviously thought they did it wrong.

Like most nut jobs he was bullied at school and had a huge fascination with guns, so obviously his grandfather bought him a gun which he took to school with him. Following dropping out of college he joined the US Army, where they ‘trained him up good’, giving him the skills he needed to finally get his revenge against everything he thought was pissing him off, which included women, as nobody would go out with him, and the government, for making him pay tax.  Following the bombing he was jailed and  sentenced to death.

So here we are at his final meal. He ordered two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Boring or what!?!

McVeigh showed no remorse for his actions and was executed by lethal injection at 7:14 a.m. on June 11, 2001, at the U.S. Federal Penitentiary in Terre Haute, Indiana, the first federal prisoner to be executed by the United States federal government since 1963.

Ice cream! Nom nom…

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kanye West (37), Tim Berners-Lee (59), Nancy Sinatra (74), Joan Rivers (81), Jerry Stiller (87), Barbara Bush (89), Natalie Portman (33), Johnny Depp (50), Michael J Fox (53), Elizabeth Hurley (49), Linda Evangelista (49), Prince Philip (93), Shea LeBeouf (28), Peter Dinklage (45), Hugh Laurie (55), Adrienne Barbeau (69), Gene Wilder (81), Adriana Lima (33), Richard Ayoade (37), George H. W. Bush (90), David Rockefeller (99), Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen (28), Chris Evans (33), Steve-O (40), Ally Sheedy (52), Tim Allen (60), Richard Thomas (63), Stellan Skarsgård (63), Malcolm McDowell (71), Diablo Cody (36), Steffi Graf (45), Boy George (53), Donald Trump (68), Neil Patrick Harris (41), Ice Cube (45), Courtney Cox (50), Helen Hunt (51) and Jim Belushi (60).

2013 League Table

[confidential]

Next week peeps!