Dead Pool 4th February 2018

Points!!! Dave correctly guessed that the world’s oldest man would die this year and scores himself a whopping 37 points!! But kudos to Abi who’s bagged a second Death Row inmate this year! With the demise of John Battaglia she scores 88 points plus nobody will miss the evil twat who killed both his daughters as an act of revenge against his estranged wife. The world is truly a better place without him.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Jerry Butler, 58, American pornographic actor
• Francisco Núñez Olivera, 113, Spanish supercentenarian, world’s oldest known living man.
• Mark Salling, 35, American actor (Glee) and musician, suicide by hanging.
• Leah LaBelle, 31, Canadian-born American singer (American Idol), traffic collision.
• Rasual Butler, 38, American basketball player (Miami Heat, New Orleans Hornets, Los Angeles Clippers), traffic collision.
• John Battaglia, 62, American convicted murderer, execution by lethal injection.
• Fidel Castro Díaz-Balart, 68, Cuban nuclear physicist and scientific adviser, ‘suicide’.
• Dennis Edwards, 74, American Hall of Fame soul and R&B singer (The Contours, The Temptations), complications from meningitis.

In Other News

The recent death of an actor known for his roles in Maid Marian And Her Merry Men and Brush Strokes is being investigated by police. Howard Lew Lewis, who also appeared in Blackadder, died on 20th January in an Edinburgh hospital, aged 76. His daughter Debora Milazzo claims he had been placed on a regime of high-dose sedatives and maximum-strength opiate painkillers. Police Scotland confirmed it was investigating the complaint. The death is being treated as “unexplained”. The actor, known as Lewy, died in Ellen’s Glen House, a community hospital in Edinburgh just over a week ago. He was being treated for dementia. Ms Milazzo told the BBC Scotland News website: “I’m trying to get justice for my dad. She claims Mr Lewis had been needlessly placed on the kind of treatment plan that would be prescribed for the terminal phase of a malignant disease. Ms Milazzo insisted her father had not received a terminal diagnosis. “They suddenly just changed his medication and it was the new medication that killed him.”

Lady Gaga has cancelled the last 10 dates of the European leg of her world tour due to “severe pain”. In a statement posted on Twitter, the pop star apologised to fans and said she was “devastated”, but needed to put “myself and my well-being” first. The Grammy award-winning singer has fibromyalgia, a long-term condition which can cause pain all over the body. Shows in London and Manchester are among those affected. In the statement, it said the “tough decision” had been made on Friday night with “strong support from her medical team”. Ticket holders can apply for a refund from 6th February. “I’m so devastated I don’t know how to describe it,” Lady Gaga, 31, wrote. “All I know is that if I don’t do this, I am not standing by the words or meaning of my music.” The announcement comes after she started the UK leg of her tour at Birmingham Arena, so it’s no wonder she decided not to carry on afterwards.

US police investigating the mysterious death of film star Natalie Wood say her husband Robert Wagner is now a person of interest. Investigators in Los Angeles say Wagner has “constantly changed his story”, adding that his version of events does not “add up”. Wood was found drowned in 1981 during a California boat trip with Wagner and the actor Christopher Walken. Her death was ruled to have been an accident but questions have lingered. “As we’ve investigated the case over the last six years, I think [Wagner] is more of a person of interest now,” Lt John Corina of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s office told CBS News. “We know now that he was the last person to be with Natalie before she disappeared,” he said. “I haven’t seen him tell the details that match all the other witnesses in this case”. Conflicting versions of what happened on the yacht have contributed to the mystery of how the actress died in November 1981. Wood, who starred in West Side Story and Rebel Without a Cause, had been partying the night before her death. The coroner’s investigation ruled she had been drinking and may have slipped trying to board a dinghy. But police say two new witnesses have corroborated accounts of a fight between Wagner and Wood on the night she disappeared. They say it appears the actress was the victim of an assault. The post-mortem report said Wood had bruises on her body and arms as well as a facial abrasion on her left cheek. TV star Wagner, 87, has not commented on the latest developments but acknowledged in his memoir that he had argued with his wife before she disappeared.

A much-celebrated gannet, the only one of its kind living on an island off the coast of New Zealand, has been found dead surrounded by concrete replicas of birds it is believed he thought were his friends and family. Nigel “no mates”, as he was affectionately known, lived his life on the edge of a desolate cliff on the almost-uninhabited Mana Island, with only 80 fake gannets for company. His body was found alongside one particular concrete gannet replica conservationists say he believed was his partner. Nigel had attempted to woo the replica in 2013 in an act of courtship, which led to him building a nest from seaweed, mud and twigs for the bird. “No mates” Nigel was lured to the island five years ago by wildlife officials, who first placed the concrete replicas on the cliff side in December 1997, broadcasting their calls through a sound system in hopes of establishing a new colony. He was the first gannet to settle on Mana Island in 40 years and conservationists hoped there would be many more, but none followed and he developed a moniker among his fans of “the world’s loneliest bird”.  In a cruel twist of fate, three new gannets were spotted on the island last year on Christmas Eve, marking 20 years since the concrete colony was first established, and it was thought that Nigel would finally have some flesh-and-blood company. Nigel’s body has now been sent to the Massey University to determine a cause of death.  It is unknown where he will be laid to rest but one fan suggested on the Friends of Mana Island group that he be cremated and his ashes stored in a concrete urn made to look like him. Great work conservationists!

On This Day

• 1703 – In Edo (now Tokyo), 46 of the Forty-seven Ronin commit seppuku (ritual suicide) as recompense for avenging their master’s death.
• 1789 – George Washington is unanimously elected as the first President of the United States by the U.S. Electoral College.
• 1974 – The Symbionese Liberation Army kidnaps Patty Hearst in Berkeley, California.
• 1976 – In Guatemala and Honduras an earthquake kills more than 22,000.
• 1977 – A Chicago Transit Authority elevated train rear-ends another and derails, killing 11 and injuring 180, the worst accident in the agency’s history.
• 1998 – The 5.9 M_w Afghanistan earthquake shakes the Takhar Province with a maximum Mercalli intensity of VII (Very strong). With 2,323 killed, and 818 injured, damage is considered extreme.
• 2004 – Facebook, a mainstream online social networking site, is founded by Mark Zuckerberg.

Deaths

• 1983 – Karen Carpenter, American singer (b. 1950)
• 1987 – Liberace, American singer-songwriter and pianist, (b. 1919)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Isla Fisher (42), Warwick Davis (48), Morgan Fairchild (68), Gemma Arterton (32), Brent Spiner (69), David Jason (78), Shakira (41), Jonathan Banks (71), Justin Timberlake (37), Minnie Driver (48), Dexter Fletcher (52), Christian Bale (44), Olivia Colman (44), Gene Hackman (88), Vanessa Redgrave (81), Phil Collins (67), Heather Graham (48), Katharine Ross (78), Tom Selleck (73), Oprah Winfrey (64), Marc Singer (70), Tim Healy (66), Elijah Wood (37), Ariel Winter (20), Alan Alda (82) and Frank Darabont (59).

Crematorium Fun! 

Ever wondered what makes a crematorium fun to work at? Well, wonder no more. Staff have revealed what keeps them on their toes, like the time when a coconut that was placed inside a coffin “sent fear” through staff at a crematorium when it exploded. Boom!

Apparently it’s quite a problem. Bolton Council has urged mourners to abide by crematorium rules and not “slip” items into coffins. Donna Ball, Assistant Director of Community Services, said a “hell of an explosion can sometimes occur”. Other items of concern include mobile phones, TV remotes, e-cigarettes and bottles of alcohol.

Ms Ball told us at Dead Pool Towers: “We are asking people to be considerate regarding the items they place into coffins before the cremation process. “We have seen a rise in things like e-cigarettes, bottles of whisky and vodka, golf balls, sometimes golf clubs, and mobile phones. Mobile phones in particular are a real issue for us”. Ms Ball said: “Usually the funeral director will pick them up but sometimes things  are slid inside peoples’ pockets and they are just not picked up during the process, then when they go through the cremation process a hell of an explosion can sometimes occur”. She added that electrical items with batteries also push crematorium emissions up to “unacceptable levels”.

Louise Walch-Grognet, of Fred Hamer Funeral Services, said they check the coffins to make sure contraband items are not slipped in. “They’ve asked can they put love letters in, cigarettes, ashes of their pets,” she said. “I’ve had a biker whose family wanted him to wear his leathers. Obviously we couldn’t do that”. The funeral director said on one occasion she was even asked if an extra set of underwear could be placed with the deceased. Ms Walch-Grognet said it was her procedure to “look under the lining of the coffin” after the service due to mourners trying to sneak items in.

I bet it’s a laugh a minute there!