Dead Pool 3rd June 2018

Since barely anyone you will have known has died over the last week, I have brought low the Dead Pool by listing people with interesting sounding names instead. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Cornelia Frances, 77, English-born Australian actress (The Young Doctors, Home and Away, The Lost Islands), bladder cancer.  
• Malcolm Morley, 86, English painter.
• Josh Martin, 46, American guitarist (Anal Cunt), fall.  
• Dick Quax, 70, Dutch-born New Zealand athlete, Olympic silver medalist (1976), cancer.  
• Dick Tuck, 94, American political prankster.  
• Wang Da-hong, 100, Chinese-born Taiwanese architect.

In Other News

US First Lady Melania Trump, not seen in public since a hospital operation this month, has sought to scotch rumours about her health and marriage. “Rest assured, I’m here at the @WhiteHouse w my family,” a tweet posted on her account says. Gossip has mounted in the 20 days since she was last seen, with President Donald Trump as he welcomed home three US detainees from North Korea. The White House has already dismissed claims about the Trumps’ relationship. On 14th May, the White House said Mrs Trump, 48, would be admitted to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Centre near Washington DC for “an embolisation procedure to treat a benign kidney condition”. “The procedure was successful and there were no complications,” a statement from the White House said after her release on 20th May. But her five-day hospital stay for what was described as relatively minor surgery did little to stop tongues wagging. She has not been pictured since then, and has only released one previous tweet referring to her medical treatment. After she skipped the White House Sports and Fitness Day on Wednesday – an event heavily promoted by former First Lady Michelle Obama – the speculation only intensified. Let’s face it though, after all she’d had to do and go through to get Trump’s billions, she’s not going to die easily.   

Children’s author Sir Michael Morpurgo has spoken of his battle with cancer. The renowned former children’s laureate, now 74, had radiotherapy last year to treat cancer of the larynx. He said he had “excellent prospects for a full recovery” and his voice was finding “new strength”. Sir Michael’s most famous book, War Horse, about a young boy’s attempts to save his horse during the First World War, has been successfully adapted for film and the stage. He had cancelled several public appearances in September due to ill-health but the nature of his illness had not been known. In an article for this week’s Spectator magazine, Sir Michael said: “By 74 it is easy to feel that you have seen it all, done it all, that nothing much surprises you any more. “Even an unwelcome medical diagnosis does not surprise you. You cope because you have to. You know it’s what happens to us all.” Reflecting that many suffer illness earlier in life, he added: “I’ve been a lucky old parrot”.  

Brigitte Nielsen has announced she is expecting a baby with husband Mattia Dessi at the age of 54. This will be the Danish actress’s fifth child, but her first with her current husband, who she married in 2006. So one expects that although she’s as old as the hills to have a baby, her well used and most likely prolapsed vagina will undoubtedly deal with the upcoming upheaval like a trooper, just think of Gandalf’s fist appearing from his sleeve. Nielsen is best known for starring in Rocky IV and Cobra alongside Sylvester Stallone, who she later married in 1985. She has also had a successful modelling career, appearing in Playboy magazine on several occasions. Nielsen joins a number of high-profile women having babies later, including Janet Jackson and Rachel Weisz, both of whom are far younger than Nielsen and barely survived the ordeal.

On This Day

• 1937 – The Duke of Windsor marries Wallis Simpson.   
• 1965 – The launch of Gemini 4, the first multi-day space mission by a NASA crew. Ed White, a crew member, performs the first American spacewalk.   
• 1969 – Melbourne–Evans collision: off the coast of South Vietnam, the Australian aircraft carrier HMAS Melbourne cuts the U.S. Navy destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half.  
• 2012 – The pageant for the Diamond Jubilee of Elizabeth II takes place on the River Thames.  
• 2017 – London Bridge attack: Eight people are murdered and dozens of civilians are wounded by Islamist terrorists. Three of the attackers are shot dead by the police.

Deaths

• 1989 – Ruhollah Khomeini, Iranian religious leader, 1st Supreme Leader of Iran (b. 1902)  
• 1990 – Robert Noyce, American physicist, co-founded the Intel Corporation (b. 1927)  
• 1992 – Robert Morley, English actor and screenwriter (b. 1908)  
• 2001 – Anthony Quinn, Mexican-American actor and producer (b. 1915)  
• 2009 – David Carradine, American actor (b. 1936)  
• 2010 – Rue McClanahan, American actress (b. 1934)  
• 2016 – Muhammad Ali, American boxer (b. 1942)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Morena Baccarin (39), Dominic Cooper (40), Jewel Staite (36), Zachary Quinto (41), Justin Long (40), Dana Carvey (63), Liam Cunningham (57), Tom Holland (22), Morgan Freeman (81), Amy Schumer (37), Brian Cox (72), Jonathan Pryce (71), Rene Auberjonois (78), Alanis Morissette (44), Heidi Klum (45), Robert Powell (74), Clint Eastwood (88), Lea Thompson (57), Colin Farrell (42), Brooke Shields (53), Tom Berenger (69), Sharon Gless (75), Keir Dullea (82), Jennifer Ellison (35), Mark Sheppard (54), Stephen Tobolowsky (67), Colm Meaney (65), Duncan Jones (47), Harry Enfield (57), Leigh Francis (45), Annette Bening (60), Danny Elfman (65), La Toya Jackson (62), Melanie Brown (43), Kylie Minogue (50), Sondra Locke (74) and the wonderful Julie T. Wallace (57).