Dead Pool 27th February 2022

Short and sweet this week, all the news seems to be about a spot of bother in the Ukraine. Anyone care to place a bets on how long Putin will survive? 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Gary Brooker, 76, English singer-songwriter (“A Whiter Shade of Pale“, “Conquistador“) and pianist (Procol Harum), cancer.  
• Jamal Edwards, 31, British entrepreneur, author, and DJ, founder of SB.TV. 
• Stewart Bevan, 73, British actor (Doctor Who, Emmerdale, The Ghoul).  
• The Amazing Johnathan, 63, American magician and stand-up comedian. 
• Mark Lanegan, 57, American musician (Screaming Trees, The Gutter Twins) and singer-songwriter (“Nearly Lost You“). 
• Sylvie Gatrill, 70, British actress (Bread, Brookside), cancer.
• Anna Karen, 85, South African-born English actress (EastEnders, On the Buses, Carry On), house fire.  
• Sally Kellerman, 84, American actress (M*A*S*H, Star Trek, Brewster McCloud), heart failure.   

In Other News

Celebrity news blog Hollywood Unlocked has backtracked on its false report that the Queen had died. Two days after it was publicly announced that Queen Elizabeth II had tested positive for Covid-19, Hollywood Unlocked published a story with the headline: “HU Exclusive: Queen Elizabeth Dead.” The piece read: “Sources close to the Royal Kingdom notified us exclusively that Queen Elizabeth has passed away. She was scheduled to attend the wedding of British Vogue editor Edward Enninful, but was found dead.” While Hollywood Unlocked was widely criticised for the story, founder Jason Lee insisted it was true, claiming: “We don’t post lies and I stand by my sources. However, by Friday a new article was published to the website titled: “Fact Check: 10 Reasons We Believed Queen Elizabeth Was Dead.” In the piece, the author laid out why Hollywood Unlocked and Lee had incorrectly believed the rumours to be true. The article claimed that Lee was directly contacted by a source who had attended Enninful’s wedding and claimed that guests had been told of the monarch’s passing there, prompting “dismay” among the attendees. Lee then allegedly corroborated this report with a source “familiar with the British military”, who claimed that the palace “had been locked down and all the top generals had been summoned to Windsor Castle ‘for an undisclosed reason’”. It is stressed in the article that Hollywood Unlocked had not “intentionally” meant to cause harm to the monarchy. A statement from Lee said: “Although I’ve never been wrong when breaking a story because this involves The Queen this is one time I would want to be. And based on Wednesday’s report from the Palace, I can say my sources got this wrong and I sincerely apologise to The Queen and the Royal Family.”  

Pete Doherty has been forced to cancel his upcoming gigs, after falling ill with a high fever and shortness of breath. The Libertines singer, 42, received ‘immediate treatment’ from medics, after the star tested negative for Covid-19 and that diagnosis was ruled out. A statement released on behalf of the indie icon revealed that the singer has been diagnosed with a respiratory infection and he remains under ‘close observation’ from a doctor. Due to Pete’s health battle, a string of his U.K shows and gigs have been cancelled, as the singer is not able to perform ‘under any circumstance’. Posted to recently-married star’s 137,000 Instagram followers on Thursday, the statement read: “A doctor has been called to assess Peter’s condition tonight after he developed a high fever and shortness of breath. “Thankfully, he has tested negative for COVID-19, but has been diagnosed with a respiratory infection which requires immediate treatment. Unfortunately, he has been advised not to perform tonight under any circumstances, which was not a decision taken lightly, and he remained under close observation with the doctor. Further updates tomorrow afternoon with regard to the weekends show.” Pete had been scheduled to perform at the O2 Forum in Kentish Town on Friday and Saturday. The Babyshambles frontman is due to take the stage at various locations across Europe over the next few months, including gigs in France, Germany and Holland.  

Jeremy Clarkson opened up about a recent car accident he had near his Diddly Squat Farm. The frightening incident happened earlier this week when the presenter was driving to see a friend in a nearby Cotswolds village. He headed out in the morning and recalls feeling as though something was “troubling” him. Writing for the Sunday Times, he said: “I was being tickled by the motoring world’s equivalent of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it tingle in the left arm. You know what it’s like when you walk into a northern pub and everyone’s laughing and joking. But you can just sort of sense that, somewhere in the steamed-up background, Begbie’s getting ready to lob his pint glass over the balcony. And that soon you’ll have a split lip and a snooker cue up your jacksie. It was that feeling.” Jeremy was driving down a long hill in Chipping Norton when he pressed his foot down on the brake pedal. In a heart-stopping moment, Jeremy’s BMW, which he says is “the worst car of them all”, began to skid when the wheels hit a portion of black ice. Detailing the frightening experience, the Clarkson’s Farm star explained: “It was the noise that gave it away first. A sort of shooshing sound, followed by the slow-motion staccato of the car’s antilock braking system fighting a losing battle with a surface that plainly had the characteristics of wet soap in a puddle of Fairy Liquid. In short, I was driving on black ice.” Thankfully, Jeremy managed to steer the car onto a grass verge at the side of the road. He was unharmed but admits he was left shaken by the accident. He continued: “I steered carefully to the side of the road, where there was a grass verge so that two of the tyres would have some kind of adhesion. And then, after stopping and taking stock, I continued with my journey at approximately 1mph.” It comes as the former Top Gear host is filming the second series of his hit Amazon Prime show, Clarkson’s Farm. It will detail the highs and lows of life on the Diddly Squat Farm as well as work on the farm’s shop.

On This Day

• 1900 – The British Labour Party is founded.
• 1951 – The Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution, limiting Presidents to two terms, is ratified.
• 1964 – The Government of Italy asks for help to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from toppling over, must have worked as its still standing!
• 2004 – Shoko Asahara, the leader of the Japanese doomsday cult Aum Shinrikyo, is sentenced to death for masterminding the 1995 Tokyo subway sarin attack.

Deaths

• 1892 – Louis Vuitton, French fashion designer, founded Louis Vuitton (b. 1821)
• 1993 – Lillian Gish, American actress (b. 1893)
• 2002 – Spike Milligan, Irish soldier, actor, comedian, and author (b. 1918)
• 2003 – Fred Rogers, American minister and television host (b. 1928)
• 2006 – Linda Smith, English comedian and author (b. 1958)
• 2015 – Leonard Nimoy, American actor (b. 1931)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kate Mara (39), Timothy Spall (65), Adam Baldwin (60), Noah Emmerich (57), Richard Coyle (50), Bolo Yeung (76), Chase Masterson (59), Bill Duke (79), Rashida Jones (46), Téa Leoni (56), Sean Astin (51), Rose Matafeo (30), Lee Evans (58), Martha Kelly (54), Billy Zane (56), Daniel Kaluuya (33), Edward James Olmos (75), Dennis Waterman (74), Emily Blunt (39), Dakota Fanning (28), Samara Weaving (30), Kelly Macdonald (46), Josh Gad (41), Aziz Ansari (39), Drew Barrymore (47), Jeri Ryan (54), Thomas Jane (53), Kyle MacLachlan (63), James Hong (93), Julie Walters (72), Sheila Hancock (89), Nigel Planer (69), Elliot Page (35), Jennifer Love Hewitt (43), Jordan Peele (43), Sophie Turner (26), Tuppence Middleton (35), Kelsey Grammer (67), Anthony Daniels (76), Charlotte Church (36), and Tyne Daly (76).