Dead Pool 19th June 2016

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Welcome all, another edition of The Dead Pool hits the press! This week we saw the senseless death of a Labour MP at the hands of a bigot and the passing of ALF, which should be good news to all cats. Alas, we didn’t have space to cover kids being eaten by alligators at Disney World, those rides are getting more and more dangerous I tell you, maybe you should rethink your next holiday!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

rick-parfittStatus Quo guitarist Rick Parfitt is in hospital after suffering a heart attack after performing with the band at Expo 2016. He is currently being treated in Antalya and is said to be in a serious but stable condition. In a statement, his management  said: ‘Whilst his condition is serious, he has already demanded his customary cup of tea with two sugars and a sweetener.’ The band’s manager Simon Porter added: ‘No further comment will be made at this stage until the completion of the next round of tests and assessments to be made over the next few days. ‘We would ask you to respect the family’s privacy at this difficult time.’ A self-confessed former drug addict, Parfitt has suffered a catalogue of health problems, including a quadruple heart bypass in 1997, a throat cancer scare in 2005 and a heart attack in 2011.

MeatloafMeat Loaf is stable and recovering after collapsing on stage in Canada due to “severe dehydration”. Meat Loaf, whose real name is Marvin Lee Aday, collapsed mid-way through performing his hit ballad “I Would Do Anything for Love” in Edmonton on Thursday evening. Video footage posted on Twitter showed the singer lean heavily to his right and drop his microphone before collapsing to the ground. Several members of his band and crew then rushed on stage to assist him before he was taken to Edmonton Hospital. A statement posted on the 68-year-old’s Facebook page said the collapse was caused by severe dehydration and he is now in a stable condition and “recovering well”. Prior to the incident, Meat Loaf had cancelled two planned performances due to ill health. The singer has the heart condition Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome and had minor heart surgery in 2003, a week after he collapsed on stage at Wembley Arena.

Lil WayneLil Wayne has reportedly suffered a seizure forcing his private jet to make an emergency landing. The New Orleans rapper, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr, was flying from Milwaukee to California when his pilot was forced to land in Omaha on Monday. He apparently blacked out when the plan touched down. Carter suffered two seizures in 2012 and another in 2013. He’s previously said that he’s epileptic and has suffered seizures since his childhood. “This isn’t my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh seizure,” Carter the media in 2013. “I’ve had a bunch of seizures. Y’all just never hear about them. But this time, it got real bad because I had three of them in a row.”

BerlFormer Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been placed in intensive care after undergoing an operation to replace a defective heart valve. The procedure lasted four hours, Milan’s San Raffaele hospital said, giving no further details. But sources told Ansa news agency the operation had been a success. He is likely to take a month to recover. Berlusconi, 79, was admitted to hospital last week after suffering a heart attack his doctor said could have killed him. He is expected to remain in intensive care for another 48 hours. On Monday, Berlusconi wrote on his Facebook page he was “concerned” by the looming operation. “But I am also very moved by the very many demonstrations of appreciation, support and affection which I have received from everywhere, even from political rivals,” he added.

caroline-wyattThe BBC’s religious affairs correspondent Caroline Wyatt is to step down from her position after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Wyatt, who has worked at the corporation for more than twenty years, has had the condition for 25 years but was only diagnosed at the end of last year. She recently announced she had been off work because of the illness on social media. The veteran reporter said she is very sad to be stepping down but is overwhelmed by the support she has received. “I have lived with the condition for the past 25 years, so the diagnosis came as a relief as it enables me to have treatment and to do all I can to manage it. I am tremendously sad to be stepping down from my religious affairs correspondent at a time that understanding religion has rarely been more important.”

conjuring2And finally, an Indian cinema-goer has died of a heart attack while watching new horror sequel The Conjuring 2. The unnamed 65-year-old male collapsed from chest pains at Sri Balasubramaniar Cinema in Tiruvannamalai, a town residing in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu, as the film reached its climax. The man was rushed to a nearby hospital where he later passed away. Times of India reports that a strange turn of events then followed; after doctors sent his body to Tiruvannamalai Government Medical College Hospital, both the cadaver and the person tasked with transporting it both went missing in the process. It is believed that the unknown person may have possibly absconded with the body. Fresh news is yet to be reported on the subject but we’re sure that when it arrives there’ll be a perfectly rational explanation as opposed to the supernatural forces several commentators clearly believe were at hand.

On This Day


Last Week’s Birthdays

Jason Mewes (42), George H.W. Bush (92), Malcolm McDowell (73), Tim Allen (63), Ally Sheedy (54), David Grey (48), Steve-O (42), Olsen Twins (30), Donald Trump (70), Boy George (55), Steffi Graf (47), Jim Belushi (62), Helen Hunt (53), Courtenay Cox (52), Ice Cube (47), Neil Patrick Harris (43), Barry Manilow (73), Jason Patric (50), Will Forte (46), Newt Gingrich (73), Venus Williams (36), Paul McCartney (74), Isabella Rossellini (64), Alison Moyet (55) and Richard Madden (30).

The Last Word

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you. – Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

Next week peeps!

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