Dead Pool 17th July 2022
Look Who You Could Have Had:
- Michael Barratt, 94, English television presenter (Nationwide).
- Monty Norman, 94, English composer (“James Bond Theme“).
- Chris Stuart, 73, British journalist (Western Mail), producer (Only Connect), and songwriter.
- Ivana Trump, 73, Czech-American businesswoman, author and model, fall.
- Paul Ryder, 58, English bassist (Happy Mondays).
- Bobby East, 37, American racing driver (NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series), stabbed.
In Other News
Comedian Rhod Gilbert is receiving treatment at a cancer hospital, he has said. The 53-year-old from Carmarthen said he is a patient at Velindre Cancer Centre in Cardiff – a hospital he is a patron of and has fundraised for. “I know better than anyone that I am in the best possible hands,” he said in a Facebook post, announcing the news. After previously cancelling shows due to issues with his throat, he paused his Book of John tour last week. “As a proud patron of Velindre Cancer Centre, I’ve trekked the world, hosted chaotic quizzes and star-studded comedy nights,” he said. “I’ve met and made friends with so many inspirational staff, patients and their families. It has been a huge part of my life for the last ten years. So while I never imagined that I would be a patient here, I know better than anyone that I am in the best possible hands. The NHS care I’m receiving is incredible. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone… but who knows, maybe I’ll come out the other end with a new stand-up show and a 40 minute rant about orange squash,” he added. “Thank you everyone for your support over the last few weeks and months (and years). I’ll be disappearing for a while and won’t be commenting further, at least not for now, whilst I focus on my recovery.” The comedian had announced last week that dates after 9th July in Swansea, Hereford, Yeovil, and Truro would be postponed. At the time time, he said: “As many of you will know, I’ve been struggling with pain in my neck and throat over the past few months. I’ve been receiving treatment, and have continued to tour where possible. I had sincerely hoped to go ahead with all dates as scheduled, but I’m afraid that is not going to be possible. I am due to have surgery next week and will be hanging up my boots for a while whilst I recuperate.” In postponing, he said he was working to reschedule shows for early 2023. Gilbert had done about 200 Book of John shows, and added: “I am genuinely gutted that we didn’t get to do the last seven shows as planned, but, rest assured, we will do everything we can to finish what we started.”
Tom Jones is clarifying the real reason why his concert in Budapest was postponed. According to the flying monkeys, the 82-year-old “It’s Not Unusual” singer passed out an hour prior to his performance on Tuesday. Jones, however, refuted that on Instagram, claiming he had received a prescription not to perform due to “viral laryngitis.” “Hello to all concerned. I traveled last night from the UK to Budapest and woke this morning with an uncomfortable throat,” he wrote. “A specialist came to visit and diagnosed ‘viral laryngitis.’ He strongly advised postponing this evening’s show and prescribed medication and vocal rest,” he continued. About his alleged collapse he said, ” I did not ‘collapse’ anywhere at any time, that is pure rumour. Hopefully, the inflammation will calm soon as I am looking forward to continuing my wonderful summer tour.” Even though his most recent performance was postponed, it has been rescheduled for Tuesday, August 16th, and his European tour will go on as scheduled. Sir Tom became the oldest person to top the UK album chart when he released Surrounded By Time, his 41st studio album, last year.
A heavy metal fanatic has used his late uncle’s bones to create his very own electric guitar – yes, you read the correctly. Either that’s the most rock ‘n’ roll thing we’ve ever heard or the start of a Stephen King novel. The musician is from Florida (of course) and his alias is Prince Midnight. His uncle, Filip, requested his remains be donated to science before passing away in Greece in the ‘90s. He told Guitar World: “After 20 years, he ended up in a cemetery my family had to pay rent on. Like, literally in a wooden box. It’s a big problem in Greece because orthodoxy religion doesn’t want people cremated. So I got the box of bones from Greece and didn’t know what to do at first – bury them? Cremate them? Put them in the attic? All seemed like poor ways to memorialise someone who got me into heavy metal.” After brainstorming how he would honour the late relative, the musician came up with the particularly bold idea, which he admitted, ‘proved to be challenging’. However, Prince Midnight did some thorough research and consulted specialists before constructing what he calls the ‘Filip Skelecaster’. So now his uncle can ‘shred in death’. Many on social media were stunned by the creation, as one user wrote: “Just imagine being that guy who donates his dead body to research purposes and finds out it is being used by your weird cousin who made a freakin guitar out of you..” Another commented: “Florida, always Florida.” A third person said: “Someone has been watching too much From Dusk till Dawn.” While another wrote: “Should have made a xylophone with those ribs.”
A tourist fell into the crater of Mount Vesuvius after reportedly taking a selfie on a forbidden route. According to Italian media, the 23-year-old and his family, who were visiting from the USA, ignored signage after bypassing a visitor turnstile and walked along an out-of-bounds path on Saturday. The man then attempted to take a selfie at the summit of the volcano – which overlooks the city of Naples – and dropped his phone, before falling as he attempted to retrieve it. He dropped several metres and a rescue helicopter, police and Vesuvius guides had to be called out, with the latter abseiling down to lift him out. He subsequently had to be treated for cuts and bruises to his arms and back. The tourist – as well as the three family members accompanying him – now face criminal charges. While selfies have become a part of daily life for many of us, there is a time and a place for them. A global study found that 259 people died taking selfies between 2011 and 2017. The deaths stemmed from 137 separate incidents and the average age of those who died was around 23 – a stat reaffirmed by the latest incident at Mountain Vesuvius. Almost three quarters of the deaths were men, with transport, drowning and falls among the most common causes of death. The study, which was conducted by the US National Library of Medicine, also showed the number of selfie-related deaths is increasing, with only three reported in 2011, as opposed to 98 in 2016.
On This Day
- 1918 – Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his immediate family and retainers are executed by Bolshevik Chekists at the Ipatiev House in Yekaterinburg, Russia.
- 1981 – A structural failure leads to the collapse of a walkway at the Hyatt Regency in Kansas City, Missouri, killing 114 people and injuring more than 200.
- 2014 – Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, a Boeing 777, crashes near the border of Ukraine and Russia after being shot down. All 298 people on board are killed.
- 1912 – Henri Poincaré, French mathematician, physicist, and engineer (b. 1854)
- 1918 – Nicholas II of Russia (b. 1868)
- 1959 – Billie Holiday, American singer (b. 1915)
- 2005 – Edward Heath, English colonel and politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (b. 1916)
- 2009 – Walter Cronkite, American journalist and actor (b. 1916)
The Worst Way to Die?
A mortician has revealed which is the worst possible way to die – and it’s not what you think. Caitlin Doughty comfortably discusses macabre topics in her web series called “Ask a Mortician”. She explains that while each culture has a different way to describe a so-called “good death”, they all seem to agree on what it means to have a “bad death”.
She said: “Cross-culturally, the bad death tends to be somewhat the same- it’s tragic and unexpected, a suicide, a homicide, a terrible accident.
“For the survivors, the worst thing could be when the body is never found and funeral and mourning rituals can’t be performed.”
But the mortician explains that the worst possible way to die is by scaphism – an ancient Persian method of fatal torture.
Caitlin explained how the bizarre way of torturing, which is also referred to as “the boats”, works.
She said: “First your body is stripped naked and you’re put between two hollowed-out logs with your head and limbs sticking out.
“Then they pour honey all over you and force you to ingest honey which attracts insects.
“Then they leave you in a stagnant pond to be slowly eaten – but they come back every day to forcibly feed you more milk and honey so you don’t die right away, eventually succumbing to exposure, dehydration, shock and delirium.”
Ancient Persians would also pour the thick mixture of honey and milk all over the victim’s face and expose them to the sun, causing painful blisters.
The victim would eventually be eaten alive by various insects attracted by the honey and milk but his suffering would last for days.
It is believed the cruel execution method was reserved for the worst criminals such as traitors and murderers.
Last Week’s Birthdays
Brett Goldstein (42), Donald Sutherland (87), Eric Winter (46), David Hasselhoff (70), Alex Winter (57), Will Ferrell (55), Phoebe Cates (59), Corey Feldman (51), Travis Fimmel (43), Diane Kruger (46), Brigitte Nielsen (59), Forest Whitaker (60), Terry O’Quinn (70), Celia Imrie (70), Jesse Ventura (71), Adam Savage (55), Linda Ronstadt (76), Phoebe Waller-Bridge (37), Jackie Earle Haley (61), Matthew Fox (56), David Mitchell (48), Kyle Gass (62), Conor McGregor (34), Harrison Ford (80), Patrick Stewart (82), Cheech Marin (76), Michelle Rodriguez (44), Anna Friel (47), Cheryl Ladd (71), Melissa O’Neil (34), Tamsin Greig (56), Bill Cosby (85), Stephen Lang (70), Michelle Fairley (59), Caroline Quentin (62), and Craig Charles (58).