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Dead Pool 10th February 2019

Last  week I missed out a scoring death, on purpose of course, just to see if you were all paying attention. Luckily Abi pointed it out to me and of course she now scores a fantastic 89 points with the death of a horrible murderer, which makes a change from the nice people we normally list. On a personal note, I was saddened to hear of the death of Albert Finney, he starred in many great films but one in particular I have loved from a very early age, Scrooge, which I have probably seen well over two hundred times by now. Anyhow, less pontificating, let’s get on with it! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Ozzy Osbourne has been taken to hospital suffering with complications from the flu, his wife Sharon has said. The former X Factor judge posted a statement about her husband’s health on Twitter, after the rocker was forced to cancel his European tour last month due to ill health. She revealed he had been advised to seek further medical treatment after his condition worsened. Sharon wrote: “As some of you may have heard, Ozzy was admitted to hospital following some complications from the flu. His doctors feel this is the best way to get him on a quicker road to recovery. Thanks to everyone for their concern and love.” The former Black Sabbath frontman was forced to postpone the UK and European legs of his No More Tours 2 tour last month after taking advice from doctors. He had been suffering from flu and was diagnosed with a severe upper-respiratory infection, according to a statement on his website. Doctors feared the infection could develop into pneumonia had he gone on the tour, which was due to kick off in Dublin this week. Ozzy said at the time: “It just seems that since October everything I touch has turned to shit. “First the staph infection in my thumb and now coming down with the flu and bronchitis. We all know these things come in threes, I wonder what the next calamity will be?  

Sam Lloyd, best known for his role on Scrubs, has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The 55-year-old actor received the diagnosis last month, weeks after his wife, Vanessa, gave birth to their first child together. A GoFundMe page for Lloyd has been set up by Tim Hobert, who was an executive producer on Scrubs, in order to raise funds for his medical expenses as America is shit that way. According to the Lloyd’s GoFundMe, the actor began to experience regular headaches and lost 10 pounds, but dismissed them as side effects of his busy schedule, caring his new baby son and ailing mother. However, when the headaches continued, he visited the doctor, who ordered a CT which revealed a brain tumour. Surgeons attempted to remove the mass, but were unsuccessful. Days later, he was told the cancer had metastised from his lungs, while further scans showed the cancer was also in his liver, spine, and jaw, which makes us wonder what we’ll be funding, a coffin?  

Money saving expert Martin Lewis had said he has had to pull out of his TV appearances because of a throat ulcer. Writing on Facebook on Thursday, he said “eating and speaking” had become “truly agonising”. Lewis was meant to appear on ITV’s Good Morning Britain but said the thought of leaving the house had left him “literally shaking with nerves” In a later update, the 46-year-old said he had managed some filming with the help of an anaesthetic spray. He has been posting about his ill health since Monday, saying it was the “first time in years” he had had to call in sick. Lewis said there was no cure for the ulcer and that he would have to wait it out until he started to feel better. It has been a stressful few weeks for the consumer finance journalist, who revealed in late January he was dropping a legal action against Facebook. He originally sued the social media network over ads running on its platform that falsely claimed he had put his name to a number of investment schemes. Lewis dropped the case after Facebook agreed to introduce a scam ads reporting button and promise to give £3m to Citizens Advice. 

And finally, just as all those militant vegans want you to stop eating bacon, it has been revealed that a woman has been eaten alive by pigs after suffering a seizure at a farm. The 56-year-old woman is believed to have suffered an epileptic seizure while feeding the animals, Russian state media reported. She is said to have suffered severe bites to her face, ears and shoulders and died of blood loss. The woman was found by her husband early in the morning at their farm in a village in the Malopurginsky district of Udmurtia, western Russia. He had gone to bed early because he felt unwell and did not find his wife until the next day, according to Moscow-based news website Newstes. It did not say how many pigs were in the sty. It is not the first time a farmer has been consumed by his own pigs. A man in the US state of Oregon was eaten by his animals in 2012. Authorities found Terry Vance Garner’s dentures and pieces of his body in the enclosure in which he had been feeding the livestock. Investigators said the 69-year-old may have been knocked over by the 50-stone animals before they ate him. So never feel guilty about your bacon sandwich, pigs enjoy us as much as we enjoy them. 

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rose Leslie (32), Michael B. Jordan (32), Tom Hiddleston (38), Joe Pesci (76), Ciarán Hinds (66), Ziyi Zhang (40), Mia Farrow (74), Mary Steenburgen (66), Seth Green (45), Nick Nolte (78), John Williams (87), John Grisham (64), Deborah Ann Woll (34), James Spader (59), Ashton Kutcher (41), Chris Rock (54), Eddie Izzard (57), Rip Torn (88), Kevin Whately (68), Axl Rose (57), Jennifer Jason Leigh (57), Charlotte Rampling (73), Michael Sheen (50), Christopher Guest (71), Cristiano Ronaldo (34), Gabrielle Anwar (49), Natalie Imbruglia (44), Jim Jefferies (42), Alice Cooper (71), Isla Fisher (43), Bridget Regan (37), Warwick Davis (49), and Morgan Fairchild (69).

Dead Pool 3rd February 2019

As the world is diving into a freezing apocalyptic shit hole, the following people have decided enough was enough. Lucky them! Alas none of them scored any of us points, but we can rest assured they won’t care what happens after Brexit and if Trump manages to find the big red button. 

Thank you all who donated to the running costs this year, I’ll be closing the contributions page when I get around to it this week. Although we didn’t get anywhere near what was needed, I’ll make sure that the evil flying monkeys are fed and also ask them to ‘borrow’ the odd celebrity keepsake whilst they are about their business that we can flog on eBay.    

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Anna Kendrick has written a heartfelt note to the hospital staff who treated her for kidney stones in Atlanta, Georgia. The Pitch Perfect actor revealed that she’d been hospitalised on Friday and penned a series of Tweets dedicated to the medical professionals who cared for her when she was at her “most vulnerable and terrified”. “So, I need to give a shout out to the Atlanta doctors and nurses who helped me through my first experience with kidney stones,” the 33-year-old began before proceeding to name the “truly wonderful ladies” involved. Kendrick’s tweets have been widely shared by her fans, with  many offering messages of support and wishing her a speedy recovery. Kidney stones are common in men and women between the ages of 30 and 60 and can be excruciatingly painful. Symptoms vary depending on the size of the stones, but they can cause nausea, restlessness and intense pain in the back or side of your abdomen. As someone who is susceptible to stones, I can vouch to the pain and the wishing to die part. 

Ozzy Osbourne’s team confirmed the news this morning, which sees three of his 3Arena  2019 concerts with Judas Priest postponed. The Prince of Darkness is believed to be suffering from a “very bad case of flu”, according to the announcement by his special guests. It is believed the gigs in Dublin, Nottingham, Manchester and Newcastle have all been postponed until a later date. Meanwhile, Judas Priest wrote on Twitter in view of their 103,000 followers and their own website: “It is with great regret we have to announce that the first four UK shows on the Ozzy Osbourne/Judas Priest tour have been postponed due to Ozzy having a very bad case of flu. They continued: “We are very sorry that this has happened and to disappoint so many fans – we wish Ozzy well and look forward to the Glasgow, Birmingham  and London shows together – and to the rescheduled ones in the future.” A few days ago, Ozzy took to his Twitter account to give his 5.27 millions an update on his health. The star, who is married to Sharon Osbourne, revealed he had burst a blood vessel in his eye from coughing. Ozzy uploaded a picture of his eye along with the caption: “Coughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye.” 

A woman who was diagnosed with a terminal cancer decided to attend her own wake. Samanda Ford, from Beccles in Suffolk, was diagnosed with colon cancer in December 2017.  In June 2018 doctors said she had just months to live. Calling the event her “awake-wake”, everyone dressed in her favourite leopard-print style. The 58-year-old, known by friends as “the queen of positivity” told party guests: “I wanted to actually be here in the flesh rather than… you know, have to do it afterwards.” As well as celebrating her life, she wanted to share how the cancer has affected her physically after losing her two front teeth as well as her hair. Fifty guests attended the party at the pub in Beccles and while the tone of the event was sombre, some party-goers left feeling positive about death and would attend their own wake. She said: “It was emotional – you have a tear in the back of your eyes but I was more worried about them and how they were feeling. But we are all here to help each other. “At the end of the day, we are all terminal. If you are lucky enough to know you are going to die why not create something positive,” she added,““Why should they party and I’m not going to be there?”

On This Day

  • 1931 – The Hawke’s Bay earthquake, New Zealand’s worst natural disaster, kills 258.  
  • 1959 – Rock and roll musicians Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J. P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson are killed in a plane crash near Clear Lake, Iowa.  
  • 1972 – The first day of the seven-day 1972 Iran blizzard, which would kill at least 4,000 people, making it the deadliest snowstorm in history.  
  • 1998 – Cavalese cable car disaster: a United States military pilot causes the death of 20 people when his low-flying plane cuts the cable of a cable-car near Trento, Italy.

Deaths

  • 1468 – Johannes Gutenberg, German publisher, invented the Printing press (b. 1398)  
  • 1924 – Woodrow Wilson, American historian, academic, and politician, 28th President of the United States, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1856) 
  • 1959 – The Day the Music Died
    • The Big Bopper, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1930)
    • Buddy Holly, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1936)
    • Ritchie Valens, American singer-songwriter and guitarist (b. 1941)
  • 1985 – Frank Oppenheimer, American physicist and academic (b. 1912)
  • 1989 – John Cassavetes, American actor, director, and screenwriter (b.1929)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Gemma Arterton (32), Brent Spiner (69), David Jason (78), Shakira (41), Sherilyn Fenn (54), Michael C. Hall (48), Terry Jones (77), Lisa Marie Presley (51), Jonathan Banks (72), Justin Timberlake (38), Dexter Fletcher (53), Minnie Driver (49), Marcus Mumford (32), Christian Bale (45), Olivia Colman (45), Gene Hackman (89), Vanessa Redgrave (82), Phil Collins (68), Dick Cheney (78), Katharine Ross (79), Heather Graham (49), Tom Selleck (74), Oprah Winfrey (65), Marc Singer (71), Tim Healy (67), Will Poulter (26), Ariel Winter (21), Elijah Wood (38), Alan Alda (83), Frank Darabont (60), Rosamund Pike (40), James Cromwell (79), Bridget Fonda (55), Patton Oswalt (50), Alan Cumming (54), and Frank Miller (62).

Dead Pool 27th January 2019

Winner winner, chicken dinner! Dave J. is extending his lead with yet another correct guess. He successfully predicted that Shivakumara Swami would die this year, an amazing 39 points earned. Perhaps we should give him a prize, like a bit of glass from Prince Philip’s crash, a snip to buy on eBay at £65k!!!! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Kate Beckinsale is in hospital with a ruptured ovarian cyst. The 45-year-old actor shared a photo of herself from her hospital bed on Instagram, with a breathing tube in her nose and pained expression on her face. “Turns out a ruptured ovarian cyst really hurts and morphine makes me cry. So thankful to everyone who looked after me #wobbly.” A second picture showed her lying in the hospital bed. Beckinsale did not share any more information, but replied to her stylist Peter Savic who asked when it happened: “Today!! Thank you darling love you.”. A number of Beckinsale’s friends and colleagues sent their best wishes. Comedian Sarah Silverman, a close friend and ex of Beckinsale’s former partner Michael Sheen, wrote “OMG!!!!”. Isla Fisher asked: “Are you okay? Sending you so much love?” while singer Natalie Imbruglia said: “Oh no… wishing you a speedy recovery.” Beckinsale is known for her starring roles in films including Total Recall, the Underworld franchise, and Love & Friendship.  

Victoria Pendleton has opened up about her depression and revealed she considered taking her own life at her lowest points last summer. The Olympic cycling gold medallist said she “fantasised” about killing herself on a daily basis, and had accumulated more than enough drugs to do so. “I had it there, in front of me, and I knew how much it would take,” she said. “And how long I would have to be left for it definitely to work. It wasn’t even like I was really upset about it. I just felt numb.” The 38-year-old has spoken about her mental health in the past, revealing she suffered with depression and self-harming, but in an interview with media this week, she disclosed the extent of her struggle, saying: “This was on another level.” She says could not be left alone and was taking so much medication she was “rattling”. She even asked her mother for forgiveness for what she might do. Pendleton was diagnosed with depression last summer, after her attempt to climb Everest for a CNN documentary series was thwarted by hypoxia, an oxygen deficiency due to high altitude. Doctors suggested that the condition may have caused her depression, but she believes it was an accumulation of factors. Representing Great Britain and England as a cyclist, Pendleton has won nine world titles including a record six in the individual sprint competition. She was appointed an MBE in 2010 and CBE in the 2013 new year honours list for services to cycling.   

A St Louis police officer has been charged with involuntary manslaughter for allegedly shooting a college during a game of Russian roulette. Nathaniel Hendren, 29, shot fellow officer Katlyn Alix, 24, at an apartment in the Missouri city in the early hours of Thursday morning, according to a St Louis Police Department statement. A probable cause statement from the force, provided by St Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner’s office, offered an account of the deadly game that allegedly led to her death. Ms Alix and Mr Hendren were playing with guns when the male officer produced a revolver. “The defendant emptied the cylinder of the revolver and then put one cartridge back into the cylinder,” the statement said. He allegedly spun the cylinder, pointed the gun away and pulled the trigger. The gun did not fire. The statement said Ms Alix took the gun, pointed it at Mr Hendren and pulled the trigger. Again, it didn’t fire. Mr Hendren “took the gun back and pointed it at the victim (and) pulled the trigger causing the gun to discharge”, according to a police statement. “The victim was struck in the chest.” Another male officer present at the apartment told investigators he warned Mr Hendren and Ms Alix not to play with guns and reminded them they were police officers. He was about to leave when he heard the fatal shot. The two male officers drove Ms Alix to a hospital where she died. Both men were on duty at the time of the shooting. Police Commissioner John Hayden has declined to answer questions about why the officers had gathered at the apartment, which was home to one of the men. 

On This Day

  • 1606 – Gunpowder Plot: The trial of Guy Fawkes and other conspirators begins, ending with their execution on January 31st.  
  • 1880 – Thomas Edison receives the patent on the incandescent lamp.  
  • 1967 – Apollo program: Astronauts Gus Grissom, Ed White and Roger Chaffee are killed in a fire during a test of their Apollo 1 spacecraft at the Kennedy Space Center, Florida.

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Ellen DeGeneres (61), Scott Glenn (78), Alicia Keys (38), Kristen Schaal (41), Mischa Barton (33), Nastassja Kinski (58), Michael Ontkean (73), Adrian Edmondson (62), Neil Diamond (78), Rutger Hauer (75), Richard Dean Anderson (69), Gil Gerard (76), XXXTentacion (20), Diane Lane (54), Linda Blair (60), Piper Laurie (87), Geena Davis (63), Emma Bunton (43), Rainn Wilson (53), David Lynch (73), Tom Baker (85), Buzz Aldrin (89), Katey Sagal (65), Dolly Parton (73), Rob Delaney (42), Tippi Hedren (89), and Michael Crawford (77).

Dead Pool 20th January 2019

We’re off to a flying start this year with the second batch of points to award. Both Dave and Paul C had Masazo Nonaka as a Cert, so they both get 137 points!! Good work gentlemen, it certainly looks like the supercentenarian’s are paying off very well this month. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

 In Other News

Norfolk Police say they have spoken to the Duke of Edinburgh after he was pictured driving without a seat belt, 48 hours after he failed his Bird Box Challenge near Sandringham in Norfolk. A spokeswoman said “suitable words of advice have been given to the driver”. Meanwhile, Emma Fairweather, who broke her wrist in the crash, said the duke has not even apologised; not realising the Queen could have her hung drawn and quartered for treasonously trying to kill her husband. The crash on the A149, in which Prince Philip’s Land Rover Freelander landed on its side after a collision with a Kia, happened on Thursday. Two days later, pictures in the media appeared to show the duke, 97, driving alone on a road near the entrance to the Sandringham estate in a replacement Freelander, without a seat belt. Let’s see if he dies within the next few weeks of shock, I’m sure Diana would appreciate the karma. 

Ten months after his arrest for drink driving, a once drug addled Ant McPartlin has joined TV partner Declan Donnelly at the auditions for ITV’s Britain’s Got Talent. They posted a picture of themselves on their first day working together for almost a year. It seemed to be a selfie taken in a car en route to the London Palladium, where the pair are hosting auditions for the new series, luckily Ant wasn’t driving. “Audition day 1. The boys are back in town!” read the accompanying message. It is Ant McPartlin’s first day on the job since his arrest and conviction for drink driving last spring, after which he took time off to go to rehab. If you remember, Ant, 43, was involved in a three-car collision in south-west London on 18th March last year.  

A zookeeper was killed in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12-foot long reptile. According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind. The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator who dragged him underwater and drowned him. Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM in the morning, but his disappearance was only noticed hours later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30am. “The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr. Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position,” Captain White told reporters. “He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance! We can see him being dragged into the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack.”  Jimmy Olsen had been working with the reptiles at Naples Zoo for the last two years, and was considered a reptile specialist. He was killed, by a 24-foot long male alligator named Brutus while he was engaged in sexual intercourse with one of the smaller specimens. Apparently this isn’t unusual for zoo keepers, but Olsen is the first zoo worker to die while having sexual intercourse with an animal. In 2002, three employees of the Columbus zoo were condemned after it was revealed that the zookeepers allowed people into the zoo after business hours for the purpose of fornicating with the animals in exchange for money.

On This Day

  • 1265 – The first English parliament to include not only Lords but also representatives of the major towns holds its first meeting in the Palace of Westminster, now commonly known as the “Houses of Parliament”. This meeting of twats hasn’t changed since.  
  • 1936 – King George V of the United Kingdom dies. His eldest son succeeds to the throne, becoming Edward VIII. The title Prince of Wales is not used for another 22 years.  
  • 1992 – Air Inter Flight 148, an Airbus A320-111, crashes into a mountain near Strasbourg, France killing 87 of the 96 people on board.

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Dave Bautista (50), Kevin Costner (64), Mark Rylance (59), Jason Segel (39), Jane Horrocks (55), Jim Carrey (57), Zooey Deschanel (39), Betty White (97), James Earl Jones (88), Kelly Marie Tran (30), Michelle Obama (55), John Carpenter (71), Kate Moss (45), Sade (60), James May (56), James Nesbitt (54), Claudia Winkleman (47), DJ Jazzy Jeff (54), Jason Bateman (50), Faye Dunaway (78), Carl Weathers (71), Dave Grohl (50), Ruth Wilson (37), Liam Hemsworth (29), Michael Peña (43), Orlando Bloom (42), Bill Bailey (54), and William B. Davis (81).

Dead Pool 13th January 2019

We have a winner! Unbelievably, the oldest woman in the US has died and one of us listed her! Sometimes the simplest approaches are the best. Well done Trish, 36 points to start off the year, plus an extra 50 for getting the first death of the year! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Three-time Formula 1 world champion Niki Lauda is in hospital in Vienna with influenza, five months after having a lung transplant. It is understood doctors are taking every precaution given the serious nature of Lauda’s surgery. Austrian Lauda, 69, was given his transplant in August after doctors found he had “severe lung disease”. Doctors said after the transplant that he would have had between three and seven days to live without the surgery. Lauda, a Mercedes F1 non-executive chairman, has legendary status in F1 not just for his 25 race wins and three championships – two with Ferrari and one for McLaren – but his recovery from a fiery accident at the 1976 German Grand Prix. Lauda was given the last rites after he was trapped inside his burning Ferrari at the Nurburgring, suffering severe burns to his face, hands and lungs. He raced in Italy 40 days later. Doctors said the illness this year was not a consequence of the accident. 

Wayne Rooney’s arrest for public intoxication was a result of feeling “disorientated” after taking sleeping tablets on a flight while drinking, says his spokesman, and we all know where that combination can lead! The former England and Manchester United captain was arrested on 16th December at Dulles International Airport in Virginia after returning from a one-day trip to Saudi Arabia. Rooney, 33, was charged and paid a $25 fine and $91 costs on 4th January, according to court documents from Loudoun General District Court. In a statement, his spokesman said: “During the flight Wayne took a prescribed amount of sleeping tablets mixed with some alcohol consumption and consequently was disorientated on arrival, he certainly wasn’t being a cunt on purpose. “He was approached by police who arrested him on a minor misdemeanour charge. “He received a statutory automatic fine and was released shortly afterwards at the airport. The matter is now at an end.  

Reality TV star Katie Price has denied being almost twice the legal alcohol limit while in charge of a vehicle. The 40-year-old was arrested by police who found a damaged Range Rover at the roadside on Shooters Hill Road, Greenwich, at about 02:00 GMT on 10th October last year. Ms Price, of Horsham, Sussex, was in the vehicle and had 69 micrograms of alcohol per 100 millilitres of breath, Bromley Magistrates’ Court heard. The legal limit is 35 micrograms. The court heard a man in a nearby block of flats concluded an “accident of some sort” had occurred involving his parked black car, which had pink paint on when he later inspected it. CCTV footage appeared to show the Range Rover was in the vicinity of his vehicle, District Judge Nigel Dean told the court. Judge Dean said Ms Price will rely on the defence that “there was no likelihood of driving while the level of alcohol exceeded the proscribed limit”. At the hearing, Ms Price spoke only to deny the charge and give her name, address and date of birth, and then flashed her tits on the off-chance a media photographer was there. 

On This Day

  • 1842 – Dr. William Brydon, an assistant surgeon in the British East India Company Army during the First Anglo-Afghan War, becomes famous for being the sole survivor of an army of 4,500 men and 12,000 camp followers when he reaches the safety of a garrison in Jalalabad, Afghanistan.
  • 1915 – The 6.7 Mw  Avezzano earthquake shakes the Province of L’Aquila in Italy with a maximum Mercalli intensity of XI (Extreme), killing between 29,978–32,610. 
  • 1950 – British submarine HMS Truculent collides with an oil tanker in the Thames Estuary, killing 64 men. 
  • 1985 – A passenger train plunges into a ravine in Ethiopia, killing 428 in the worst railroad disaster in Africa.  
  • 2012 – The passenger cruise ship Costa Concordia sinks off the coast of Italy due to the captain Francesco Schettino’s negligence and irresponsibility. There are 32 confirmed deaths.

Deaths

  • 858 – Æthelwulf, king of Wessex  
  • 1929 – Wyatt Earp, American police officer (b. 1848)
  • 1941 – James Joyce, Irish novelist, short story writer, and poet (b. 1882)  
  • 2009 – Patrick McGoohan, Irish-American actor, director, and producer (b. 1928)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rachael Harris (51), Kirstie Alley (68), Rob Zombie (54), Howard Stern (65), Jeff Bezos (55), Pixie Lott (28), Melanie C (45), Amanda Peet (47), Jason Connery (56), Rachel Riley (33), John Sessions (66), Jemaine Clement (45), Evan Handler (58), Rod Stewart (74), Joely Richardson (54), Imelda Staunton (63), Jimmy Page (75), Michelle Forbes (54), Shirley Bassey (82), Christian Bale (44), Olivia Colman (44), Nicolas Cage (55), Jeremy Renner (48), Erin Gray (69), Eddie Redmayne (37), Rowan Atkinson (64) and Norman Reedus (50).