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Dead Pool 24th December 2023

With just one week to go, I hope you’re all busy working on your list for 2024! Remember to  tell your friends, the more that join the more fun it will be! The 2023 trophy is waiting to be won, although Nickie is currently in the lead, as we know, anything can happen in the next seven days! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

The broadcaster Dame Esther Rantzen says she has joined the Dignitas assisted dying clinic in Switzerland. The 83-year-old told the Flying Monkeys she is currently undergoing a “miracle” treatment for stage four lung cancer. If it does not work, “I might buzz off to Zurich”, where assisted dying is legal. But she said she was looking forward to this “precious” Christmas, which she hadn’t thought she would live to see. Assisted suicide is banned in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, with a maximum prison sentence of 14 years. While there is no specific offence of assisted suicide in Scotland, euthanasia is illegal and can be prosecuted as murder or manslaughter. Speaking about her decision to join Dignitas, Dame Esther said it was driven in part by her wish that her family’s “last memories of me” are not “painful because if you watch someone you love having a bad death, that memory obliterates all the happy times”. The broadcaster said if she did decide to have an assisted death at Dignitas that would put “my family and friends in a difficult position because they would want to go with me, and that means that the police might prosecute them”. Dame Esther, who is best known for presenting the BBC Show That’s Life! for over twenty years said she believed people should be given the choice about “how you want to go and when you want to go”. “I get all the arguments about… not wanting to be a burden and pressure being applied and all that. But… you can come to the wrong conclusion. If you just base everything on the worst case scenario, you’ve got to have a look at the advantages as well.”  Dame Esther’s daughter, Rebecca Wilcox, told the Flying Monkeys that there was a “legal murkiness surrounding assisting dying”. “I support mum’s decision,” she said, but added: “I’m not legally allowed to say I’d go with her, that I would hold her hand – and that is absolutely ridiculous. I should be able to sit with my mother in her last moments. I can’t go to prison, I can’t go through a court case at the worst point of my life, when I’ve lost my person and I’m suddenly being prosecuted with her death. It’s unfathomable. I can’t believe this is the situation we’re in.” Almost a year on from her diagnosis, Dame Esther said she had not expected to live with cancer for so long. “I thought I’d fall off my perch within a couple of months, if not weeks. I certainly didn’t think I’d make my birthday in June, which I did, and I definitely didn’t think I’d make this Christmas, which I am. It appears, although anything can happen,” she said.  

Madonna has opened up about the details of her latest health scare, revealing that she was put “in an induced coma for 48 hours”. In June, the “Like a Virgin” singer, 65, was due to embark on her Celebration Tour in Canada when she developed a “serious bacterial infection”, prompting her to pause all commitments. She was admitted to hospital, where she stayed several days in the intensive care unit. She later resumed her global tour in October in Europe. During her most recent stop in Brooklyn, Madonna took a moment to thank “some very important people” who were by her side in the hospital. “I passed out on my bathroom floor; I woke up in the ICU – thank you, Siobahn, she saved my life,” the Queen of Pop can be heard telling the crowd in a video posted on Twitter. She explained that she was put into “an induced coma for 48 hours”, adding that the only voice she heard was that of her Kabbalah teacher. “I heard him say, ‘Squeeze my hand’, that’s it,” Madonna said before joking that she “had to almost die to get all my kids in one room”. In previous updates, the “Material Girl” artist recalled her first hospital thoughts being about her children and not wanting to “disappoint anyone who bought tickets for my tour”. “I also didn’t want to let down the people who worked tirelessly with me over the last few months to create my show. I hate to disappoint anyone,” she said on Instagram in July.  

One time Dead Pool favourite, Charlie Sheen has been assaulted by a woman at his Malibu home, police in Los Angeles have said. The attack occurred on Wednesday afternoon. Police have arrested Electra Schrock, 47, for assault with a deadly weapon and residential burglary. Paramedics were reportedly called to Mr Sheen’s home in the aftermath, but he was not taken to hospital. Police did not share a possible motive. The Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department confirmed the mid-day attack on the former Two and a Half Men star in a statement to the Flying Monkeys. Ms Schrock, who is reportedly a neighbour of Mr Sheen, was also arrested for using force likely to create great bodily injury. Police did not say what weapon was used in the alleged attack. The Flying Monkeys report that Ms Schrock attempted to strangle Mr Sheen and ripped his shirt after he opened his front door. Ms Schrock had earlier this year pleaded no contest to a charge of misdemeanour elder abuse. Sheen, 58, starred for eight seasons on CBS hit sitcom Two and a Half Men, before a spectacular falling out with the show’s creator. He went on to court tabloid headlines with a series of bizarre interviews. He later said that he regretted his actions during that time and blamed his behaviour on drug and alcohol abuse. In an interview with People magazine earlier this month, Mr Sheen said that “next month I’ll be six years sober. I have a very consistent lifestyle now. It’s all about single dad stuff, and raising my 14-year-old twin boys,” the actor said.

On This Day

  • 1818 – The first performance of “Silent Night” takes place in the Nikolauskirche in Oberndorf, Austria.
  • 1826 – The Eggnog Riot at the United States Military Academy begins that night, wrapping up the following morning.
  • 1968 – The crew of Apollo 8 enters into orbit around the Moon, becoming the first humans to do so.

Deaths

  • 1992 – Peyo, Belgian cartoonist, created The Smurfs (b. 1928).
  • 2008 – Harold Pinter, English playwright, screenwriter, director (b. 1930).
  • 2012 – Charles Durning, American actor (b. 1923).
  • 2012 – Jack Klugman, American actor (b. 1922).
  • 2016 – Rick Parfitt, British musician (b. 1948).
  • 2016 – Liz Smith, English actress (b. 1921).
  • 2016 – Richard Adams, English author (b. 1920).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Finn Wolfhard (21), Harry Shearer (80), Ralph Fiennes (61), Vanessa Paradis (51), Samuel L. Jackson (75), Kiefer Sutherland (57), Jane Fonda (86), Jonah Hill (40), Jenny Agutter (71), Nicole de Boer (53), Jake Gyllenhaal (43), Alyssa Milano (51), Kristy Swanson (54), Jennifer Beals (60), Brad Pitt (60), Steven Spielberg (77), Katie Holmes (45), Christina Aguilera (43), Casper Van Dien (55), Billie Eilish (22), Steve Austin (59), Robson Green (59), Keith Richards (80), and Sia (48). 

Dead Pool 17th December 2023

With just two weeks to go I hope you’re all working on your lists for 2024! Tell all your morbid friends to have a go!  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Punk icon Patti Smith is reportedly “in good health” after being rushed to hospital following a “sudden illness”. The 76-year-old – who recently spoke of her long-term bronchial battle –had been due to perform at the Duse Theater in Bologna, Italy, on Tuesday, but the show was cancelled at short notice Smith was taken to the Maggiore hospital in Bologna and put under observation after falling ill. A notice was shared to the Instagram page of the Teatro Duse Bologna venue that had been due to host Smith, announcing her show had been cancelled “due to a sudden illness that struck the artist”. “We are all sorry for the inconvenience caused by this news. Our best wishes for a speedy recovery go to the artist,” the statement said. On Wednesday evening, the Local Health Authority of Bologna told the Flying Monkeys that the singer was discharged from the hospital after “a short period of observation in emergency”. Smith spoke about her health in an interview with The Flying Monkeys in 2020, where she revealed that she had struggled during the pandemic because she suffers from a lifelong bronchial condition. “To be in limbo almost 10 months, for a person like me who doesn’t like sitting in the same place, it’s been very challenging. I feel like I’m part-wolf, roaming from room to room,” she said. Known as the punk poet laureate or “Godmother of Punk”, Smith has remained active since she first rose to prominence in the early Seventies, when she released her critically adored debut album, Horses, in 1975. Her best known song, “Because the Night” written with Bruce Springsteen and hit No 13 on the US charts in 1978.  

Matthew Perry’s cause of death has been revealed in an autopsy report released on Friday. The 54-year-old Friend’s actor was found dead seven weeks ago in the jacuzzi of his Los Angeles home, after a live-in assistant found him floating lifeless and face down in the pool. The Los Angeles Medical Examiner’s Office has concluded his death “an accident” and a result of the “acute effects of ketamine”. Contributing factors included “drowning, coronary artery disease and the effects of buprenorphine” the report said. For those of us who don’t know, Ketamine is a general anaesthetic and reduces sensations in the body making users feel dream-like, detached, chilled, relaxed, happy but also confused and nauseated. It can be used for both humans and animals. Perry had been having ketamine infusion therapy for depression and anxiety at the time of his death, an experience he had written about in his memoir. His most recent official intake had been a week and half before he was found unresponsive at his home. But the medical examiner concluded that the ketamine found in his stomach couldn’t have been from his last infusion as it lasted only 3-4 hours in the system. The report couldn’t specify the “exact method of intake” and no needle marks were found. The levels of ketamine found are suspected to have caused “lethal effects” including overstimulation of his heart and depression of his breath which led to a “lapse into unconsciousness” and submerging in the pool where he is thought to have drowned. His coronary artery disease contributed to an “exacerbation of ketamine induced myocardial effects on the heart”- meaning it reduced his heart’s ability to pump blood around his body after the ketamine took effect.  

Kate Garraway’s husband Derek Draper is fighting for his life after suffering a heart attack.  Derek, 56, has been plagued with health woes after contracting Covid in 2020 and is now said to be in critical condition after being taken dangerously ill last Monday. Good Morning Britain presenter Kate, 56, is reportedly holding a 24/7 vigil by his bedside and has cancelled all work commitments while his family ‘pray for a miracle’. ‘It was sudden and a shock as he had been doing so well and was in great spirits, looking forward to Christmas at home with the family. This setback has been a huge blow for his family and all the people caring for him. Kate is by his side 24 hours a day and is willing him on to win this latest battle for his life. Derek has fought so many times, and always, against all odds, come out the other side.’ Derek has been in and out of hospital after he fell seriously ill with coronavirus at the very start of the pandemic in March 2020, and was left with lasting damage to his organs. Doctors put him in a medically induced coma and he became the longest-suffering coronavirus patient in the UK after spending 13 months in hospital. However, he has readmitted several times with numerous health issues, including kidney failure, brain inflammation and liver damage.

On This Day

  • 1903 – The Wright brothers make the first controlled powered, heavier-than-air flight in the Wright Flyer at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
  • 1961 – Fire breaks out during a performance by the Gran Circus Norte-Americano in Rio de Janeiro killing more than 500.
  • 1969 – Project Blue Book: The United States Air Force closes its study of UFO’s.
  • 1989 – The Simpsons premieres on television with the episode “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”.
  • 2003 – The Soham murder trial ends at the Old Bailey in London, with Ian Huntley found guilty of two counts of murder. His girlfriend, Maxine Carr, is found guilty of perverting the course of justice.

Deaths

  • 1833 – Kaspar Hauser, German feral child (b. 1812?).
  • 2008 – Gregoire, Congolese chimpanzee, oldest recorded (65-66 years old) (b. 1942).
  • 2010 – Captain Beefheart, American singer-songwriter (b. 1941).
  • 2011 – Kim Jong-il, North Korean dictator, second Supreme Leader of North Korea (b. 1941).
  • 2016 – Henry Heimlich, American doctor (b. 1920).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Katheryn Winnick (46), Milla Jovovich (48), Bill Pullman (70), Giovanni Ribisi (49), Laurie Holden (54), Ernie Hudson (78), Eugene Levy (77), Bernard Hill (79), Krysten Ritter (41), Miranda Otto (56), Charlie Cox (41), Don Johnson (74), Helen Slater (60), Paul Kaye (58), Garrett Wang (55), Natascha McElhone (54), Miranda Hart (51), Ted Raimi (58), Vicki Michelle (73), Emma Corrin (28), Taylor Swift (34), Steve Buscemi (66), Jamie Foxx (56), Dick Van Dyke (98), Robert Lindsay (74), Jennifer Connelly (53), Bill Nighy (74), Mädchen Amick (53), Mayim Bialik (48), Sarah Douglas (71), and Kenneth Cranham (79).

Dead Pool 10th December 2023

Let’s begin by doling out the points!! With the death of Norman Lear, our Trish scores 49 points! Well done her! I’ve also opened up the submissions page if any of you want to get your list for 2024 in early.  

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Chris Evert has been diagnosed with cancer for the second time. The tennis legend, 68, revealed that her cancer has returned “in the same pelvic region” in a health update on Friday, two years after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer and announcing that she was in remission from the disease earlier this year. “Since I was first diagnosed with cancer two years ago, I’ve been very open about my experience. I wanted to give all of you an update. My cancer is back,” Evert said in a statement released through the Flying Monkeys. “While this is a diagnosis I never wanted to hear, I once again feel fortunate that it was caught early,” she continued. “Based on a PET CT scan, I underwent another robotic surgery this past week. Doctors found cancer cells in the same pelvic region. All cells were removed, and I have begun another round of chemotherapy. I will be unable to join my colleagues when we return to Melbourne for the Australian Open next month. But I’ll be ready for the rest of the Grand Slam season!” the sports star said. Evert added, “I encourage everyone to know your family history and advocate for yourself. Early detection saves lives. Be thankful for your health this holiday season.” Evert had previously announced that she was free from cancer in January. The International Tennis Hall-of-Famer urged the importance of genetic testing as she also spoke about her sister Jeanne who died from the same disease in February 2020.   

Mark Sheppard, best known as “Crowley” on Supernatural, revealed on Instagram that he somehow survived six heart attacks. “You’re not going to believe this! Was on my way to an appointment yesterday when I collapsed in my kitchen,” Sheppard began. The 59-year-old actor wrote that he had “six massive heart attacks” and was “brought back from the dead four times,” before learning that he “had a 100% blockage in my LAD” (left anterior descending artery.)” Sheppard called the event “The Widowmaker,” and expressed his thanks to his medics. “If not for my wife, the @losangelesfiredepartment at Mullholland and the incredible staff @providencecalifornia St Joseph’s – I wouldn’t be writing this,” he said. “My chances of survival were virtually nil. I feel great. Humbled once more,” Sheppard added. “Home tomorrow! #spnfamily.” Sheppard’s cast-mate Misha Collins, who portrayed Castiel on the series, shared a message in the comments section of his post. “Mark! You don’t need to do the most and biggest every time! 6 heart attacks? 2 or 3 would have been impressive enough,” Collins wrote. “You’ve impressed us, okay. Now stop with this heal up and get back on the road with us,” he continued. “Love you, pal.” 

Former Celebrity Big Brother star Lauren Harries is home in time for Christmas after being in hospital for seven months. The Cardiff-born television personality had been in hospital since April and at one point was put into an induced coma after undergoing brain surgery. She was admitted to hospital after falling ill with a mystery illness and had to have the emergency surgery, but experienced a number of seizures. The good news that she has now been allowed home as Lauren described how it was good to see her family stop worrying so much. A statement said: “Lauren’s out of hospital. It’s been the most stressful seven months of our families lives. But she’s home in time for Christmas. Note from Lauren: ‘It’s wonderful not seeing the worry on my family’s faces anymore, Merry Christmas thank you to all of my stars for your love’.” Lauren, from Rumney, found fame as a child antiques expert, who appeared on the Antiques Roadshow and Wogan. After a gap from the spotlight she re-emerged to star on Channel 5 series Trust Me – I’m A Beauty Therapist and then, in 2013, starred on Celebrity Big Brother on the same channel. She finished third in the competition, with Geordie Shore’s Charlotte Crosby winning the series. Her fans were quick to welcome the good news. One said: “Brilliant news for you all. Hope you have a relaxing and lovely Christmas.” Another said: “That’s great Lauren, have a brilliant Xmas” and “Good news. Best wishes for Lauren and the family this Christmas holiday season.”  

Britney Spears’ estranged father, Jamie Spears, had his leg amputated last month, a source in the pop star’s hometown told the Flying Monkeys. “He had a knee replacement and got a terrible infection from it,” our insider shares. We hear Jamie underwent multiple unsuccessful surgeries prior to the amputation, which was “a last resort.” His lawyer had no comment. The news comes two months after the Flying Monkeys heard rumours that the 71-year-old was “seriously ill” and had been in and out of hospitals, including a facility for infectious disease patients. Sources said at the time that Jamie had “lost more than 25 pounds” while dealing with his health issues, which stemmed from a knee replacement in the mid-2000s. Britney, 42, was not considering reaching out to her dad to repair their scarred relationship before it was too late. “Britney is on a healing journey, but a reconciliation with Jamie is not in the cards,” one source told us. The “Toxic” singer became estranged from the Spears family patriarch while fighting to end the conservatorship he had placed her under in 2008. After Britney described her father as “abusive” in open court in 2021, a Los Angeles judge suspended Jamie as conservator before terminating the guardianship altogether. 

On This Day

  • 1907 – The worst night of the Brown Dog riots in London, when 1,000 medical students, protesting against the existence of a memorial for animals that have been vivisected, clash with 400 police officers.
  • 1993 – The last shift leaves Wearmouth Colliery in Sunderland. The closure of the 156-year-old pit marks the end of the old County Durham coalfield, which had been in operation since the Middle Ages.
  • 2021 – A widespread, deadly, and violent tornado outbreak slams the Central, Midwestern, and Southern regions of the United States. Eighty-nine people are killed by the tornadoes, with most of the fatalities occurring in Kentucky, where a single tornado kills 57 people, and injures hundreds of others.

Deaths

  • 1896 – Alfred Nobel, Swedish chemist & engineer, invented Dynamite & founded the Nobel Prize (b. 1833).
  • 1928 – Charles Rennie Mackintosh, Scottish architect and painter (b. 1868).
  • 1967 – Otis Redding, American singer-songwriter and producer (b. 1941).
  • 1978 – Ed Wood, American director, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1924).
  • 2005 – Richard Pryor, American comedian, actor, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1940).
  • 2006 – Augusto Pinochet, Chilean general and dictator, 30th President of Chile (b. 1915).
  • 2017 – Max Clifford, British publicist (b. 1943).
  • 2020 – Barbara Windsor, English actress (b. 1937).
  • 2021 – Michael Nesmith, American musician (The Monkees), songwriter, actor, producer, and novelist (b. 1942).

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kenneth Branagh (63), Clive Anderson (71), Judi Dench (89), John Malkovich (70), Beau Bridges (82), Michael Dorn (71), Donny Osmond (66), Teri Hatcher (59), Kim Basinger (70), Dominic Monaghan (47), David Harewood (58), Nicki Minaj (41), C. Thomas Howell (57), Nicholas Hoult (34), Jeffrey Wright (58), Ellen Burstyn (91), Jennifer Carpenter (44), Kristofer Hivju (50), Colin Salmon (61), Noel Clarke (48), Catherine Tate (54), Frankie Muniz (38), Marisa Tomei (59), Jeff Bridges (74), Tony Todd (69), Pamela Stephenson (74), Tyra Banks (50), and Jay-Z (54).

Dead Pool 3rd December 2023

What a week for deaths! The first real cold snap of the year and it seemed like they were dropping like flies! 

Let’s award some points! With the passing of Henry Kissinger, 50 points to the following: Dave, Paul C, Shân, and myself. However Nickie had him down as her Cert, so an amazing 150 points go to her tally! 

But let’s not stop there!!! With Shane MacGowan’s death, I can award 85 points to each of the following: Neil, Abi, Martin, Nickie, Debbie, and Lee. 

Which means Nickie has toppled Jamie from the top the leader board, with only a few weeks to go! What excitement!!!! 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

The grieving family of Benidorm legend Sticky Vicky have described the performer’s last moments in hospital before she died of heart failure aged 80 last week.  The mother-of-two, 80, passed away at the Villajoyosa Hospital near the Benidorm resort where she rose to international fame. Her daughter, María Aragüés Gadea, said Vicky sadly died on her 42nd birthday, adding it was a day she will ‘remember for the rest of my life’. ‘My mum was in hospital for the last 12 days of her life and as a family we’ve been with her and have been able to say goodbye to her. I was by her bedside when she died this morning. She passed away as they were changing her morphine bottle,’ she told The Flying Monkeys. ‘She has gone, surrounded by her family, with all of our love. I thank God for being able to always be by her side, I am left with a broken heart. Vicky retired from her act in 2016, aged 72, after stunning generations with her X-rated tricks that made creative use of household objects including ping-pong balls, razor blades and beer bottles. She endured health complications as she got older, fighting cancer and undergoing at least two hip replacements. Maria, who took over her mother’s act after her retirement, confirmed two years ago that her mother had ‘won her fight against cancer with radiotherapy and chemotherapy’ but had since been diagnosed with dementia. Born in 1943 in Tenerife, Victoria María Aragüés Gadea, a trained ballet dancer, became an icon in Spain’s touristic city of Benidorm thanks to her exotic, x-rated performances of her vaginal magic show. The mother-of-two moved to the city in south-east Spain in 1980 where she became a legend of the holiday hotspot visited by millions of British tourists. Her show – which ran for move than three decades – involved pulling a variety of objects from her vagina, including ping pong balls, razor blades, eggs, handkerchiefs and machetes. It would end with the lights dimming and her producing a lit light bulb. An estimated six million people saw the show – which she would invariably perform six times in a night, six days a week – since she started it in the mid-1970s. And she once marked the third series of ITV’s comedy show Benidorm starring Johnny Vegas by officially opening Mel’s Mobility Shop before it caught fire. She was once described by a guide to Benidorm as such a ‘must-see’ that leaving without experiencing her show would be like buying fish without chips. Vicky finally retired in 2016 aged 72 after she was diagnosed with uterine cancer. 

A mortuary worker was left horrified after a 90-year-old woman appeared to come back to life in a body bag. Norma Silveira da Silva was gasping for breath when the worker found her hours after she was pronounced dead at the Sao Jose Regional Hospital in Brazil on Saturday. He rushed her back to her hospital bed to recover but tragically she died just a day later. Norma’s friend and caregiver Jessica Martins Silvi Pereira, 30, said the family plans to sue the hospital. She said: “It’s a case of neglect that I would not wish on anyone. When he opened the bag she was breathing very weakly. And, as she was no longer conscious, she couldn’t ask for help, she tried to breathe and couldn’t. I mean, from 11.40pm until 1.30am she was inside the bag almost dying asphyxiated.” Norma’s second death certificate, seen by local media, suggests she died of sepsis — a deadly reaction to an infection. Doctors initially listed an infection as the cause of death on her first death certificate before she was taken to the mortuary. After her horrific ordeal in the morgue, she was taken back to her ward. Jessica told local media: “On Saturday afternoon, I went to visit her and she opened her eye. She didn’t have much stimulation, but she managed to open her eye and saw that we were there.” Tragically she passed away the following day and Jessica said Norma’s family have still not been told what her cause of death was. Her case will be investigated by Brazil’s Medical Ethics Committee and the Death Commission, according to local media. The Regional Council of Medicine of the State of Santa Catarina said it “was aware of the situation and will institute appropriate procedures to monitor the case”.

Former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin is expected to survive a stabbing attack he suffered while serving time for the 2020 killing of George Floyd. Chauvin was attacked on Friday at the Federal Correctional Institution in Tucson, Arizona, a medium-security prison that has been plagued by security lapses and staffing shortages. A spokesperson for the Attorney General’s Office told the Flying Monkeys over the weekend that the convicted former law enforcement officer is expected to survive the injuries he sustained, but declined to elaborate on Chauvin’s condition. An earlier press release by the correctional facility stated that guards had initiated life-saving measures upon finding the victim at around 12.30pm on Friday and that the inmate was later transported to a hospital. Prosecutors who successfully pursued a second-degree murder conviction against Chauvin at a jury trial in 2021 condemned the attack. “I am sad to hear that Derek Chauvin was the target of violence,” Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison said in a statement on Saturday. Chauvin’s mother Carolyn Pawlenty told us that she had learned about her son’s stabbing on the news. Visiting at the facility, which has about 380 inmates, has been suspended in the aftermath of the stabbing.

On This Day

  • 1697 – St Paul’s Cathedral, rebuilt to the design of Sir Christopher Wren following the Great Fire of London, is consecrated. 
  • 1942 – During the Manhattan Project, a team led by Enrico Fermi initiates the first artificial self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction. 
  • 1982 – At the University of Utah, Barney Clark becomes the first person to receive a permanent artificial heart. 
  • 1993 – Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar is shot and killed by police in Medellín. 
  • 1999 – The United Kingdom devolves political power in Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive following the Good Friday Agreement.  

Deaths

  • 1814 – Marquis de Sade, French philosopher, author, and politician (b. 1740). 
  • 1982 – Marty Feldman, English actor and comedian (b. 1933). 
  • 1986 – Desi Arnaz, Cuban-American actor, singer, and television producer (b. 1917). 
  • 1993 – Pablo Escobar, Colombian drug lord (b. 1949). 
  • 1997 – Shirley Crabtree, English wrestler (b. 1930). 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Brendan Fraser (55), Amanda Seyfried (38), Julianne Moore (63), Daryl Hannah (63), Ozzy Osbourne (75), Lucy Liu (55), Lesley-Ann Brandt (42), Britney Spears (42), Connie Booth (83), Nelly Furtado (45), Zoë Kravitz (35), Riz Ahmed (41), Sarah Silverman (53), Bette Midler (78), Ridley Scott (86), Kaley Cuoco (38), Ben Stiller (58), Woody Allen (88), Mandy Patinkin (71), Gemma Chan (41), Diane Ladd (88), Jeff Fahey (71), Don Cheadle (59), Gena Lee Nolin (52), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (39), Alan Ritchson (41), Karen Gillan (36), Ed Harris (73), Judd Nelson (64), Martin Clunes (62), Ellie Taylor (40), Armando Iannucci (60), Jon Stewart (61), Fisher Stevens (60), Sharlto Copley (50), and Robin Givens (59). 

Dead Pool 26th November 2023

Last week I threatened to send out the Flying Monkeys, and they didn’t disappoint. Even diplomatic immunity couldn’t spare Joss Ackland his chance to meet his maker.   

Look Who You Could Have Had:

 In Other News

One of the fattest men in the world has been found dead in his home just days after he vowed to shed the weight. Leonid Andreev, 60, weighed more than three baby elephants and had been trapped in his own home for five years. The 44-stone man was found at home in the village of Armizonskoye, Russia, only a day day after he told local media how he was planning a new life of losing weight and moving apartments. But on Friday, he was found dead in his home after reportedly suffering from a heart attack. He said he planned to start a new diet with just a cup of light soup for lunch. It came after a doctor warned him he had to lose at least seven stone in order to live normally again. Andreev said: ‘I tried to lose at least a little weight – I ate less and did not indulge in flour products.’ The 60-year-old was married and divorced twice and had no children. He also shocked reporters by revealing that he used to be an athlete and weighed just 11 stone. Tragically, just ten years ago Andreev was a hunter who ran his own farm and took part in harvesting the crops. Andreev said his weight problems began when he left a career in the army and in just three months, his weight nearly doubled to 16 stone and never stopped rising. His weight gain was caused by a metabolic disorder and five years ago his size was so much that he had to quit work. Then he began his reclusive life on the sofa where he lived and slept while watching TV all day as his neighbours helped clean and take care of his house. At one point, Andreev’s blood pressure soared so high that he called for an ambulance. However, after controlling his symptoms, paramedics refused further aid because of his weight. He said: ‘In the morning, I get up, cook food, eat a little, watch TV. Tried to move here, move there. I used to have porridge – the heaviest, well, and buns, potatoes, bread. That’s how I got fat, probably.’ Even though Andreev was extremely heavy, there have been fatter people in history. American Jo Brower Minnoch was the fattest man who ever lived and weighed 100 stone (see below).  

Each year, fans are left scratching their heads when I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here contestants are excused from some of the trials. Before the series kicked off, former UKIP leader Farage was asked about the trials he could avoid due to his severe injuries from a plane crash in 2010 that he sadly survived. He said: “Anything involving weightlifting, I’d be out. I’ve obviously had some quite serious physical injuries and neck reconstructions, and goodness knows what else. So they are fully aware that I’m a little bit damaged when it comes to bodily structure. But having said that, I can still do most things. I doubt any of the trials are actually going to kill me, although I don’t think they’ll all be a bag of fun. But look, I signed up for this. It’s in for a penny in for a pound. So let’s go.” Farage suffered long-lasting injuries after an aeroplane he was flying, displaying a banner with the slogan ‘Vote for your country – Vote UKIP’, crashed on polling day for the general election in 2010. He managed to escape the wreckage but suffered from a punctured lung, two chipped vertebrae, several fractured ribs and a fractured sternum. Three years later, he underwent an operation to help with the health problems caused by the crash, and told the Flying Monkeys that he had a “couple of discs removed and replaced” in his back. In 2015, he admitted that he was experiencing tremendous pain in his shoulder and back and had been prescribed the strong sleeping pill Temazepam. He had been visiting the hospital twice a week for treatment and was struggling to raise his arms above a 45-degree angle. He added: “I think I am going to have to have medical treatment for the rest of my life.” Before the accident, the 59-year-old also had a serious car crash in his 20s, and problems from the accidents combined have left him with the ‘body of a 70-year-old’. Let’s hope he does the decent thing and dies on the show. 

On This Day

  • 1820 – An 80-ton sperm whale attacks and sinks the Essex (a whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts) 3,200 kilometres (2,000 mi) from the western coast of South America. (Herman Melville‘s 1851 novel Moby-Dick was in part inspired by this incident.)
  • 1947 – The Princess Elizabeth marries Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, who becomes the Duke of Edinburgh, at Westminster Abbey in London.
  • 1974 – The first fatal crash of a Boeing 747 occurs when Lufthansa Flight 540 crashes while attempting to take-off from Jomo Kenyatta International Airport in Nairobi, Kenya, killing 59 out of the 157 people on board.
  • 1985 – Microsoft Windows 1.0, the first graphical personal computer operating environment developed by Microsoft, is released. Windows has now been shit for 38 years.
  • 1990 – Andrei Chikatilo, one of the Soviet Union’s most prolific serial killers, is arrested; he eventually confesses to 56 killings.

Deaths

  • 1910 – Leo Tolstoy, Russian author and playwright (b. 1828).
  • 2003 – Robert Addie, English actor (b. 1960).
  • 2006 – Robert Altman, American director, producer, and screenwriter (b. 1925).

The Heaviest Man Who Ever Lived

Jon Brower Minnoch was an American man who was the heaviest recorded human in history, weighing approximately 635 kilograms; 100 stone at his peak. 

Minnoch was born in 1941 in Seattle, Washington, as the only child to John Minnoch and June (née Brower). Minnoch’s father worked as a machinist and died of a heart attack in 1962. Minnoch’s mother was a graduate of Seattle Pacific University and worked as a registered nurse at Providence Hospital and later as a telephone operator. June died in 1986, three years after her son. 

Minnoch suffered from obesity since childhood. At the age of 12, he weighed 133 kilograms (21 stone). By age 22, he weighed 178 kilograms (28 stone) and became 320 kilograms (50 stone) in 1963. Minnoch stood 6ft 1in in height and had a body fat percentage of about 80%. Minnoch said water retention was the primary cause of his obesity, however British obesity specialist David Haslam contends Minnoch’s water retention was a consequence of his severe weight, not the cause of it. 

Despite his condition, Minnoch tried to live a conventional life and stated that he was “in no way handicapped”. He drove taxi cabs for 17 years and married his wife, Jean McArdle, in 1963. The couple operated the Bainbridge Island Taxi Co. together, the only taxi cab on the island at the time. According to a friend, Minnoch had a reputation as a “warm and funny family man” on the island. In March 1978, Minnoch weighed twelve times his 50 kilograms; (8 stone) wife, breaking the record for the greatest weight disparity between a married couple. Minnoch and McArdle divorced in 1980 and he married Shirley Ann Griffen in 1982 and fathered two sons, John and Jason. 

Minnoch eventually “got so tired” of being heavy that he decided to cut his food intake to “almost nothing”. Under a doctor’s prescription, he went on a 600-calorie-a-day diet of only vegetables. He also took large doses of a diuretic that failed to eliminate excess fluid in his body. After about three weeks of weakness and being bedridden, he listened to his wife’s pleas to enter a hospital. Minnoch was admitted to the University of Washington Medical Center in Seattle in March 1978, suffering from heart and respiratory failure. Firefighters were forced to remove a window at his home and place him on a thick piece of plywood. By now Minnoch was unable to move or speak. It took over a dozen firemen, rescue personnel, and a specially modified stretcher to transport him to the hospital. There, he was placed on two beds pushed together, and it took thirteen attendants to roll him over. 

At the hospital, Minnoch was diagnosed with a massive oedema, a condition in which the body accumulates excess extracellular fluid. Due to his poor health, measuring his weight with a scale was impossible. However, endocrinologist Robert Schwartz estimated his weight to be about 635 kilograms (100 stone). According to Schwartz, he was “probably more than that. He was by at least 300 pounds the heaviest person ever reported”, and “probably the most unusual thing about Minnoch’s case was that he lived”. He reached a peak body mass index (BMI) of 186kg/m2 and spent several days on a respirator. His doctors described his medical state as “critical”. Schwartz said Minnoch displayed symptoms of Pickwickian syndrome, where insufficient breathing causes one’s level of carbon dioxide in the bloodstream to rise. 

Minnoch remained in the hospital for two years and was put on a diet of 1,200 calories day. When discharged from the hospital, he weighed 216kg (34 stone), having lost 419kg; (66 stone), the largest human weight loss ever documented at the time. He hoped to eventually reach a weight of about 95 kilograms (15 stone), stating, “I’ve waited 37 years to get this chance at a new life”. Despite this, he soon started to gain weight again. He was readmitted to the hospital just over a year later in October 1981, after his weight increased to 432kg (68 stone); he had managed to gain 91 kg (14 stone) in just seven days!!!

He died 23 months later on September 4th 1983, aged 41. At the time of his death, he weighed 362kg (57 stone). According to his death certificate, Minnoch’s immediate cause of death was cardiac arrest, with respiratory failure and restrictive lung disease as contributing factors. He was buried in a wooden casket made of plywood 34 inch thick and lined with cloth. The coffin took up two cemetery plots, and eleven men were needed to transport his casket to his burial place at Mount Pleasant Cemetery. 

Last Week’s Birthdays

Rita Ora (33), Kristin Bauer (57), Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (35), Christina Applegate (52), John Larroquette (76), Kristian Nairn (48), Bruno Tonioli (68), Sarah Hyland (33), Katherine Heigl (45), Colin Hanks (46), Stephen Merchant (49), Denise Crosby (66), Billy Connolly (81), Conleth Hill (59), Dwight Schultz (76), Kayvan Novak (45), Michelle Gomez (57), Miley Cyrus (31), Scarlett Johansson (39), Mark Ruffalo (56), Mads Mikkelsen (58), Jamie Lee Curtis (65), Terry Gilliam (83), Goldie Hawn (78), Alexander Siddig (58), Björk (58), Sean Young (64), Ming-Na Wen (60), Joe Biden (81), and Bo Derek (67).