Dead Pool 5th February 2023

Short and sweet this week, no points to award. Biggest news of the week was the sad passing of the talented Annie Wersching at the young age of 45 and that Michael Myers of Halloween fame is now properly dead, well, one of the actors that played Myers is, so maybe he’s not. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Paul Burrell, former footman to Queen Elizabeth II and butler to Princess Diana, has revealed that he is currently receiving treatment for prostate cancer. Appearing on Lorraine, the 64-year-old disclosed how the treatment for his cancer is affecting his emotional wellbeing. “I’m tired because I’m on hormone therapy at the moment and it’s sort of robbing me of my testosterone,” he said. “My beard isn’t growing like it should, I’m tired, I’m emotional, I get hot flushes.” Explaining his diagnosis, Burrell said: “In the summer I had to go for a medical for a TV programme I was doing and I had a full MOT. Out of that came a surprisingly high PSA test [a chemical released by the prostate gland]. I had no idea what a PSA test was.” He continued: “So I went to my GP, he said, ‘This is unusual’ and he examined me and sent me for an MRI scan. And the MRI scan of course was the window in which they looked through and saw a shadow on my prostate.” On the aftermath of his diagnosis, Paul shared that he is on an “emotional” and “educational” rollercoaster. He added: “Having a biopsy itself and finding the cancer, wrapping Christmas presents this year thinking, ‘Am I going to be here next year? I need to tell my boys.’” Burrell revealed that he went to the US during the festive period and told his sons. “They sat with me and held me and said, ‘Dad, we need to spend more time with you,’” he said. Burrell noted that he aims to raise awareness of prostate cancer and encourage all men to get checked. “You realise that there are thousands of men like me that had no symptoms, I didn’t realise what was happening and it could be too late,” he said. “So my message is: I was lucky, I was really lucky they caught it at the beginning. Men out there can go to their GP and ask for a PSA test, men over 50 and especially if you have history in the family. I don’t think men are particularly good at going to the doctors so if you love them, push them out of the door and get checked.” Paul later shared that he will be having his first operation on 27th February and he will be documenting his journey on Lorraine.   

Ozzy Osbourne has been seen for the first time since cancelling his UK and Ireland shows, and retiring from touring for good. The Black Sabbath legend, 74, recently had extensive spinal surgery following a fall at his home in 2019, which had further aggravated injuries from a near-fatal quad bike crash in 2003. The music legend released a statement earlier this week, revealing that he is ‘not physically capable’ of performing. On Friday, Ozzy was seen for the first time since cancelling his tour – and he appeared in high spirits as he flashed a peace sign at the cameras which snapped him using a walking stick. The rocker used the walking aid to help him up some steps as he emerged from a private car. Although he is in ill health, Ozzy appeared to be in good form as he entertained the cameras – waving and holding up a peace sign following his sad tour cancellation and early retirement. As always, Ozzy was dressed in an all-black ensemble as he wrapped up warm in a long-lined coat to beat the Spring chill. Announcing the sad news of his tour retirement to fans, Ozzy said that it was “probably one of the hardest things he’s ever had to share” and that he “never would have imagined that his touring days would have ended this way”. Explaining that his body is “still physically weak” and shared his despair at “disappointing” fans.

On This Day

  • 1869 – The largest alluvial gold nugget in history, called the “Welcome Stranger”, is found in Moliagul, Victoria, Australia.
  • 1907 – Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland announces the creation of Bakelite, the world’s first synthetic plastic.
  • 1924 – The Royal Greenwich Observatory begins broadcasting the hourly time signals known as the Greenwich Time Signal.
  • 1958 – A hydrogen bomb known as the Tybee Bomb is lost by the US Air Force off the coast of Savannah, Georgia, never to be recovered.


Rules of Life

Madam Jeanne Louise Calment, who had the longest confirmed human lifespan: 122 years, 164 days, was born in Arles, France, on February 21st 1875. The Eiffel Tower was built when she was 14 years old. It was at this time she met Vincent van Gogh. “He was dirty, badly dressed, and disagreeable,” she recalled in an interview given in 1988.

When she was 85, she took up fencing, and still rode her bike when she reached 100. At the age of 114, she starred in a film about her life, at age 115 she had an operation on her hip, and at age 117 she gave up smoking, having started at the age of 21 in 1896. She didn’t give it up for health reasons; her reason was that she didn’t like having to ask someone to help her light a cigarette once she was nearly blind.

In 1965, Jeanne was 90 years old and had no heirs. She signed a deal to sell her apartment to a 47-year-old lawyer called André-François Raffray. He agreed to pay her a monthly sum of 2,500 francs on the condition he would inherit her apartment after she died. However, Raffray not only ended up paying Jeanne for 30 years, but then died before she did at the age of 77. His widow was legally obliged to continue paying Madam Calment until the end of her days.

Jeanne retained sharp mental faculties. When she was asked on her 120th birthday what kind of future she expected to have. Her reply, “A very short one.”

Here are the Rules of Life from Jeanne Louise Calment:

“I’m in love with wine.”

“All babies are beautiful.”

“I think I will die of laughter.”

“I’ve been forgotten by our Good Lord.”

“I’ve got only one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it.”

“I never wear mascara; I laugh until I cry often.”

“If you can’t change something, don’t worry about it.”

“Always keep your smile. That’s how I explain my long life.”

“I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything’s fine.”

“I have a huge desire to live and a big appetite, especially for sweets.”

“I have legs of iron, but to tell you the truth, they’re starting to rust and buckle a bit.”

“I took pleasure when I could. I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I’m very lucky.”

“Being young is a state of mind, it doesn’t depend on one’s body. I’m actually still a young girl, it’s just that I haven’t looked so good for the past 70 years.”

At the end of one interview, the journalist said, “Madame, I hope we will meet again sometime next year.” To which Jeanne replied, “Why not? You’re not that old; you’ll still be here!”

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jennifer Jason Leigh (61), Michael Sheen (54), Christopher Guest (75), Charlotte Rampling (77), Tony Jaa (47), Gabrielle Anwar (53), Alice Cooper (75), Jim Jefferies (46), Warwick Davis (53), Isla Fisher (47), Morgan Fairchild (73), Gemma Arterton (37), Brent Spiner (74), David Jason (83), Shakira (46), Sherilyn Fenn (58), Harry Styles (29), Michael C. Hall (52), Jonathan Banks (76), Minnie Driver (53), Justin Timberlake (42), and Dexter Fletcher (57).

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