Dead Pool 30th August 2015

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Welcome all, to a rather lacklustre edition of the newsletter. Not much happened last week, so I’ve padded things out somewhat with interesting stories about pain and death. It might be time for me to send out the flying monkeys again!!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Carol-VordermanCarol Vorderman, the television presenter, has revealed she is “covered in burns” after falling off a treadmill while running naked. The former Countdown number-cruncher disclosed she tripped while using the machine and ended up trapped up against a wall. Vorderman, 54, was intending to comfort a Twitter friend over a mishap, but she managed to trump the tale with her own story “It’s hilarious. Pain? I fell off a treadmill running naked (don’t ask). Now covered in burns and doctor’s dressings!” – Thus revealing her naked exercise mishap to her more than 330,000 followers! Vorderman later told the media she was exercising in the nude because she was “hot”. However, she said she would think twice before doing so again and was “not sure it will be an Olympic sport soon”.

DalyTwo-time major winner John Daly has been taken to hospital after collapsing during a minor tournament in the USA. The American, 49, has  been checked for rib and finger injuries, but a friend said his vital signs – temperature, blood pressure and heart and breathing rates – are good. Leigh Brannan of Deerfield Golf Club in Jackson, Mississippi said Daly was having breathing problems on a hot day. “He was struggling pretty badly right before he collapsed,” Brannan said. “We’re all hoping it’s nothing serious and that he was just a little dehydrated. He was even saying he still wants to play.”

usain-bolt-cameramanJustin Gatlin could not get close to Usain Bolt in the 200m final in Beijing – but it appears he might have had better luck if he had been on a Segway and armed with a camera. Bolt completed another double at the World Athletics Championships and when he was celebrating with the crowd an overzealous cameraman got too close for comfort, lost control of his Segway and swept the Jamaican off his feet. The 10-times world champion did not appear badly injured by the incident, managed to see the funny side and was soon posing for pictures with his adoring crowd again. “It didn’t actually hit me in my Achilles, it hit me in my calf area,” Bolt said. “It’s all right, I will get over it. Never a doubt [for the relays], never a doubt. I am just going to get it massaged, ice it up a bit and I should be fine.” Bolt added: “The rumour I’m trying to start right now is that Justin Gatlin paid him off.”

elephant_riderAn elephant in northern Thailand killed its handler before running off into the jungle with three terrified Chinese tourists still on its back! The Police said that on Wednesday morning a Chinese family of three – a father, mother and a young child – were taking a ride on the male elephant when it turned suddenly on its new keeper. The elephant had not taken well to his new mahout and turned on him suddenly, goring him to death. The media broadcast footage of the three frightened tourists being led back to camp, still on the elephant’s back, once it had been calmed down by other mahouts and their own elephants.

bull-runAnd in a continuation of goring, a man has died after being struck by a bull, the 10th such death in Spain this year, making it one  of the deadliest for the sport of bull running. The unidentified man in his late 40s was struck by a bull several times during a run in the north-eastern town of Borriol on Saturday and died in hospital, a local police spokesman said. This year’s toll matches the record of 10 deaths in bull runs, set in 2009. Last weekend alone four men died after being gored by half-tonne fighting bulls in four different towns. One of the victims, a 55-year-old man, was caught on video being repeatedly gored by a bull as he lay on the ground in front of a protective barrier that separated onlookers from bull run participants. And they say Cheese Rolling is dangerous!

Colin-DerekAnd finally, celebrity psychic Derek Acorah has been trolled on Twitter following the death of his close friend Colin Fry. The grieving TV star was bombarded with comments after Psychic Private Eyes star Colin lost his battle with lung cancer, aged only 53. One user wrote, ”Hey Derek, he has sent a message for you, it’ll cost you 30 pound to hear it.” Another “You and Colin deal in the business of fooling the vulnerable for private gain. I couldn’t care less he’s dead.” The comments were widely condemned as fans rallied around the star. Believe what you will about psychics and mediums, but it’s rather telling that Acorah is sad at the loss if his fellow medium, surely he of all people should be able to carry on talking to his dead friend.

On This Day


Last Week’s Birthdays

Sean Connery (85), LeAnne Rimes (33), Jason Priestley (46), Shania Twain (50), Aaron Paul (36), Billy Ray Cyrus (54), Barbara Eden (84), Steve Guttenberg (57), Elvis Costello (61), Paul Rubens (63), Shelley Long (66), Chris Pine (35), John McCain (79), Claudia Schiffer (45), Rachel Bildon (34), Rebecca DeMornay (56), Carla Gugino (44), Florence Welch (29), Jack Black (46), Gene Simmons (66), Stephen Fry (58), Rupert Grint (27), Tim Burton (57), Alexander Skarsgard (39), Barbara Bach (68) and Elliott Gould (77).

Next Week peeps!

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