Dead Pool 13th September 2015

I’m sorry everyone, fuck all has happened during the last week. I’ll bet you a toenail shaving that you will not have heard of any of this weeks demises! Luckily we have a few news snippets to be getting along with, otherwise we might have had to cancel this weeks edition!!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

• Candida Royalle, 64, American pornographic actress, producer and director, ovarian cancer.
• Dickie Moore, 89, American child actor (Our Gang, Sergeant York, Oliver Twist).
• Bryn Merrick, 56, Welsh bassist (The Damned), cancer.
• John Connell, 91, American actor (Young Doctor Malone, Fail Safe, Family Business).

In Other News

King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand is on antibiotics following a fresh blood infection, the palace has revealed. The 87-year-old king, perceived as a near-deity by many Thais, has been in Bangkok’s Siriraj hospital since being readmitted in May but information on his condition has been scarce. In a statement released late on Monday the royal household said Bhumibol had come down with a high fever, chills and low blood pressure last Thursday. “The result of blood checks found that he had an infection in his blood. The result of a chest X-ray found that his right lung was inflamed,” the palace said. “As a result the doctors have given him some antibiotics and saline drip. They have also given him some oxygen.” Bhumibol has been in and out of hospital for much of the last two years and rarely makes public appearances. A day before his latest bout of illness the palace released footage of the wheelchair-bound monarch visiting a shop near the hospital where he is convalescing. Subjects on their knees chanted “Long live the King.”

Mad Men star Jon Hamm and his partner of nearly two decades, film-maker and actor Jennifer Westfeldt, have ended their relationship. Hamm, 44, and Westfeldt, 45, first met in 1997 and became known as one of Hollywood’s most stalwart couples. However, in March 2015, just before Mad Men’s eighth season finale, it emerged that Hamm had completed a course of rehab for alcoholism which must have played a part in the split. If he was drinking before, we’re pretty sure he’ll be quaffing bars dry right now. Let’s see if his liver is strong enough!

Some of you might have noticed that our beloved Queen has managed to hang on to her privileged life for longer than anyone else in British history, even longer than Queen Victoria, and she had an Age named after her! At exactly what time Elizabeth II would overtake her great-great grandmother’s reign of 23,226 days, 16 hours and 23 minutes, remained uncertain as her father, George VI, died in his sleep, but it is thought to be at around 1am. So, using that as a basis, and factoring in leap days in both reigns, Buckingham Palace’s formula plumped for around 5.30pm as a safe bet. But no parties for Queenie, it was “business as usual” as she officially opened the new £294m Scottish Borders Railway.

And finally, an escapologist, who hoped to out-manoeuvre Harry Houdini during a Buried Alive stunt, was left with a broken rib after he failed to break through to the surface almost nine minutes into the daring bid. Antony Britton hoped to escape unaided after being handcuffed and buried in a standard-size grave, under six feet of soil. But the daredevil had to be hauled out by crew members when he lost consciousness and now says he is ‘lucky to be alive’. An anxious audience at Slaithwaite Spa, West Yorks, watched as Mr Britton was rescued, taken to a waiting ambulance and given oxygen, before coming round. Mr Britton said his biggest disappointment was to discover he was just two feet from the surface when he had to be rescued. Antony is only the third person in 100 years to attempt the Buried Alive challenge. Legendary escapologist Harry Houdini, who was known around the world for his elaborate escape routines, failed in 1915 while magician Alan Alan had to be dug out in 1949. They should have left him in there in my opinion!

On This Day

• 1501 – Michelangelo begins work on his statue of David.
• 1609 – Henry Hudson reaches the river that would later be named after him – the Hudson River.
• 1898 – Hannibal Goodwin patents celluloid photographic film.
• 1899 – Henry Bliss is the first person in the United States to be killed in an automobile accident.
• 1956 – The IBM 305 RAMAC is introduced, the first commercial computer to use disk storage.
• 1985 – Super Mario Bros. is released in Japan for the NES

Deaths

• 81 – Titus, Roman emperor (b. 39)
• 1996 – Tupac Shakur, American rapper, producer, and actor (Digital Underground and Outlawz) (b. 1971)

Last Week’s Birthdays

Roger Waters (72), Macy Gray (48), Delores O’Riordan (44), Pippa Middleton (32), Idris Elba (43), Gloria Gaynor (66), Chrissie Hynde (64), Julie Kavner (65), Evan Rachel Wood (28), Martin Freeman (44), Hugh Grant (55), Adam Sandler (49), Rachel Hunter (46), Eric Sonestreet (44), Michael Buble (40), Colin Firth (55), Guy Richie (47), Karel Lagerfeld (82), Brian De Palma (75), Virginia Madsen (54), Moby (50), Ian Holm (84) and Linda Gray (75).

Next Week peeps!