Dead Pool 12th April 2015

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We have points to dish out again! You’re all doing very well this year! Paul guessed that Gertrude Weaver would peg it, so an amazing 34 points! Dave guessed her too, but he had her as his Cert so an even more amazing 134 points awarded!!! Awesomeness to both of you. So the league table has changed considerably at the top once again. If you’re like me, languishing at the bottom of the table with a big fat zero, don’t worry, they’ve used up their Certs and Women, all we need is a couple of deaths and we’re right up there with the best! It’s only April after all!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

FabricantThe Conservative parliamentary candidate Michael Fabricant has revealed that he has skin cancer. He has been diagnosed with melanoma and basal cell carcinoma, but says he is “optimistic” because specialists told him they have caught it in time. Mr Fabricant, well known in the Commons for his shock of blond hair, said he intended to continue campaigning with his “usual enthusiasm”. Woo! Perhaps he’d be better off staying off the sun beds from now on.

B.B. King Blues guitarist BB King says he is “feeling much better” after being treated in hospital for dehydration. The 89-year-old musician was reportedly admitted after  suffering from dehydration caused by diabetes. The blues legend has had type 2 diabetes for more than two decades. In October 2014, King cancelled the remaining eight performances of a tour, owing to dehydration and exhaustion. I know the feeling, after a hard night on the whisky, I feel like I need the hospital too.

The Duke of Kent The Queen’s cousin, Prince Edward, The Duke of Kent, has been taken to hospital after suffering a hip injury, Buckingham Palace has said. It is understood the duke, 79, sustained a suspected dislocated hip while staying at the Balmoral estate in Scotland. No news on what he was up to when he managed to hurt himself, but he suffered a mild stroke in 2013, so perhaps he’s a bit doddery on his feet, nothing to do with a sex dungeon under the castle.

daniel_craigTalking of legs, Daniel Craig has had surgery after sustaining a knee injury while filming the new James Bond film, Spectre. Eon Productions said he had had a “minor procedure” in New York during a break in production over Easter. A spokeswoman denied reports the 47-year-old had missed several days of filming. “During a scheduled break, Daniel Craig had arthroscopic surgery to repair his knee injury. He will rejoin production on April 22nd at Pinewood,” she said. I’m sure the insurance people are already sighing in relief.

Justin BAnd finally, an arrest warrant has been issued for that little cunt Justin Bieber in Argentina after the singer failed to respond to summons related to an incident in 2013. Judge Alberto Julio Banos ordered the “immediate detention” of Bieber and bodyguards Hugo Alcides Hesny and Terrence Reche Smalls. Bieber is accused of sending the bodyguards to attack photographer Diego Pesoa outside a Buenos Aires nightclub. Bieber never returned to Argentina to respond to questions about the incident. Under Argentine law, Bieber would face from one month to six years in prison if convicted on a charge of causing injuries. Let’s hope he get’s a good stretch inside.

On This Day


Last Week’s Birthdays

Kristen Stewart (25), Pharrell Williams (42), Robin Wright (49), Russell Crowe (51), Dennis Quaid (61), Jenna Jameson (41), Paul Rudd (46), Patricia Arquette (47),  Zach Braff (40), Francis Ford Coppola (76), John Ratzenberger (68), Haley Joel Osment (27), Hugh Hefner (89), Jackie Chan (61), Steven Seagal (63), Cynthia Nixon (49), Billy Dee Williams (78), Julian Lennon (51) and Joss Stone (28).

Next week peeps!

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