Dead Pool 11th November 2018

After unleashing the evil flying monkeys last week, I was expecting a deluge of celebrity deaths. You could see that the flying beasts were trying their best after the massive blaze in Malibu left many superstars running for their lives, alas none perished, not even Jaden Smith. What mostly rubbed salt into the wound was that whilst they were busy trying to barbecue Lady GaGa, they totally ignored everyone else! The following list is the poorest I have ever seen since starting our Dead Pool in 1994. In fact, you can’t even call it a list, it is just one name. Oh my days! I might have to make a pact with a crossroads demon to kick things off again…. 

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

The murderer of schoolgirl Sarah Payne has been attacked in his cell at a top security prison. Eight-year-old Sarah Payne was snatched and killed by convicted paedophile Roy Whiting in West Sussex in 2000. Whiting, now 59, was found guilty in 2001 of her abduction and murder and will serve a minimum of 40 years. The Sun newspaper said he was taken to hospital after being “stabbed by two convicted murderers with makeshift blades” at HMP Wakefield. A Prison Service spokesperson said: “A prisoner at HMP Wakefield was attacked on Thursday evening and received hospital treatment. “The prisoner is back in prison in a stable condition and the incident is being investigated by police.” In a statement, West Yorkshire Police said it was called to the prison at about 19:15 GMT on Thursday to a report a prisoner had been assaulted. It said the injuries “were not life threatening” and an investigation was taking place. Upon conviction in 2001, the trial judge, Mr Justice Richard Curtis, said he believed Whiting was “an evil man” and “a cunning and glib liar”. In July 2011, Whiting was stabbed in the eyes at Wakefield jail by fellow inmate, convicted murderer Gary Vinter. In 2002, Whiting was attacked with a razor blade by fellow Wakefield inmate Rickie Tregaskis. Let’s hope someone else has a go.    

John McCririck health update: The star, who recently shed three-stone due to a severe bout to flu, said he now feels like a “dinosaur” following his job loss. “You’re a lost soul wandering around an environment you’re no longer part of,” he told us. He continued: “Life is empty. I don’t expect to be alive this time next year. It’s a question of slipping away. “I’ve prepared the Booby [his wife, Jenny] for it. When I’m gone she knows exactly what to do and she’ll be fine.” John recently revealed he has been suffering for much of the year with a chest infection but doctors are unsure of the cause. Earlier this month, John shocked viewers on Big Brother’s Bit On The Side as he displayed a noticeably thinner frame. After fans commented on his “frail and gaunt” appearance, John revealed he had been ill with the flu. John revealed his flu battle left him unable to speak for three months, one wishes he still had the flu.  

And finally, a tale warning to young men out there. Sam Ballard, an Australian man who was paralysed after eating a slug, has died at the age of 28. The promising rugby player was only 19-years-old when he swallowed the slug as a dare and became infected by a rare parasitic infection. A student at Barker College, He swallowed the mollusc at a party in Sydney in 2010. He was taken to hospital after spells of dizziness and vomiting. He was found to have been infected with rat lungworm, a parasite normally found in rats but also sometimes in snails and slugs. The teenager then contracted eosinophilic meningoencephalitis, a form of meningitis, and lapsed into a coma for 420 days before doctors revived him. But when he woke he was diagnosed with a serious brain injury. Further complications from the original infection left him paralysed and in need of constant care. “Sam was 19, and in a single night, his life had changed forever,” wrote a news reporter on Monday. “While doctors had managed to save him in time, he was now confined to a wheelchair, with limited communication skills, and needing 24 hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week care.” “His friends have stuck by him ever since. On Friday, Sam passed away, surrounded by his family and loyal, loving mates.” His mother Katie Ballard previously said she did not blame the friends who dared her son at the 2010 party. Remember kids, it’s not just drugs and guns that kill, it’s slugs too! 

On This Day

  • 1880 – Australian bushranger Ned Kelly is hanged at Melbourne Gaol.  
  • 1918 – World War I: Germany signs an armistice agreement with the Allies in a railroad car in the forest of Compiègne.   
  • 1923 – Adolf Hitler was arrested in Munich for high treason for his role in the Beer Hall Putsch.   


Last Week’s Birthdays

Taron Egerton (29), Hugh Bonneville (55), Neil Gaiman (58), Ennio Morricone (90), Tracy Morgan (50), Lou Ferrigno (67), Robert Duncan McNeill (54), Tara Reid (43), Matthew Rhys (44), Gretchen Mol (46), Richard Curtis (62), Gordon Ramsay (52), Jack Osbourne (33), Emma Stone (30), Sally Field (72), Thandie Newton (46), Ethan Hawke (48), Rebecca Romijn (46), Lori Singer (61), Nigel Havers (67), Tilda Swinton (58), Sam Rockwell (50), Famke Janssen (54), Robert Patrick (60), Sam Shepard (73), Tatum O’Neal (55), Tamzin Outhwaite (48), Armin Shimerman (69), Elke Sommer (78), Chris Addison (47), Art Garfunkel (77), Bryan Adams (59), Matthew McConaughey (49), Olivia Taylor Dudley (33), Ralph Macchio (57) and Loretta Swit (81).

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