2015

Dead Pool 12th July 2015

Dead Pool Background

Welcome all,  we have points to award!!! Paul C. correctly guessed that Sakari Momoi would peg it, and so he has, plus he had him down as a Cert! 138 points awarded! Well done sir! Paul C. now takes the lead!

I was rather surprised no one had Omar Sharif, but you all know how cruel this game can be…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

WilkoGuitarist Wilko Johnson has revealed he remains clear of cancer after a pioneering and complex operation he underwent last year. The former Dr Feelgood star, who had pancreatic cancer, had a nine-hour procedure to remove a large tumour and extensive sections of his digestive system. “I still can’t believe this. They got the cancer. They got it all. I’ve been for regular check-ups. Nothing.” I was supposed to be dead, but here I am doing things like walking up the road to meet me mate for lunch. Enjoying a fry-up in the caff, looking out over the Thames Delta, watching the sun dancing on the water. Ha. Every day is filled with wonderful feelings.” Johnson, 67, had previously chosen to avoid treatment after being told he had a terminal illness when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2013.

CastroFormer Cuban leader Fidel Castro has appeared in public for the first time in more than a month. State television showed images of Mr Castro at a meeting with cheese experts near the capital, Havana. Castro, 88, handed power to his younger brother Raul in 2006 after struggling to recover from illness and is now rarely seen in public, and secrecy about his health means his public appearances are scrutinised by the media. Personally I think he looks like he’s on borrowed time, so keep your eye on him.

efrain-rios-monttEx-dictator Efrain Rios Montt is mentally unfit to be tried again on genocide charges, Guatemala’s forensic authority declared on Tuesday. Due to cognitive deterioration the 89-year-old would not be able to defend himself against charges that he was responsible for the killings of nearly 2,000 indigenous Maya during a particularly brutal stretch of the country’s 36-year civil war, the National Forensic Science Institute determined. The institute said: “He does not have full use of his mental faculties and he is not capable of correctly understanding the charges against him.” A convenient happenstance or awesome lawyers? You decide!

Harry StylesOne Direction star Harry Styles let his effortlessly cool exterior drop for a moment at a concert last week. During the band’s show in San Diego, USA, Harry stumbled and fell, prompting screams from concerned fans. Unfortunately the singer emerged unscathed from the tumble. Sadly, the ‘band’ will be touring the UK in September.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Sofia Vergara (43), Kevin Bacon (57), Tom Hanks (59), Ringo Starr (75), Anjelica Huston (64), Sylvester Stallone (69), Courtney Love (51), O.J. Simpson (68), Fred Savage (39), Edie Falco (52), Dalai Lama (80), George W. Bush (69), Nancy Reagan (94), Kelly McGillis (58), Geoffrey Tambor (71), Huey Lewis (65), Suzanne Vega (56), RZA (46), Ned Beatty (78), Geoffrey Rush (64), Brian Dennehy (77), Richard Roundtree (73), Neil Tennant (61) and Jake LaMotta (94).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 5th July 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon all, a quick update on the happenings of last week, alas not a lot happened and without the death of Val Doonican, we would be in a terrible state. I’ll not waffle on, let’s get to the non-existent news!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

noaksFormer children’s television presenter John Noakes has been found after disappearing during a walk on the island of Mallorca early on Tuesday morning in 35C heat. The former Blue Peter presenter, who has Alzheimer’s disease, was taken to hospital after he was found in a field. When located, the 81 year old was found to have a weak heartbeat and was suffering from dehydration, but is expected to recover. Noakes, who joined Blue Peter in 1965, was known for both his adventurous physical exploits, including what was at the time the longest free-fall parachute jump by a British civilian, and his association with one of the show’s resident dogs, border collie Shep, which died in 1987.

MariaSonia Manzano, who has played Maria on the US children’s programme Sesame Street for more than four decades, is retiring. Manzano, 65, joined the show in  1971 and became a series regular in 1974, giving helpful advice to characters like Big Bird and Elmo. She was also a writer on the show, winning 15 Emmy Awards for her work. We all know what happens when active people retire don’t we Poolers…

joniJoni Mitchell did have an aneurysm in March but is able to speak, a friend who acts as her conservator has said. Leslie Morris’s update on the Canadian singer’s condition follows an interview with US musician David Crosby, in which he said she was still unable to speak. “The truth is that Joni is speaking, and she’s speaking well,” said Morris on Mitchell’s official website. “She is resting comfortably in her own home and she’s getting better each day. A full recovery is expected.” Mitchell, 71, was found unconscious in her Los Angeles home on 31 March and taken to hospital.

On This Day

Deaths

For the first time ever, nobody of any importance, or I’d heard of, died on this day in the past!!!

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tom Cruise (53), Lindsey Lohan (29), John Cusack (49), Pamela Anderson (48), Mike Tyson (49), Debbie Harry (70), Dan Aykroyd (63), Mel Brooks (89), Kathy Bates (67), Katherine Jenkins (35), Gary Busey (71), Michael Phelps (30), Liv Tyler (38), Larry David (68), Ashley Tisdale (30), Cheryl Cole (32), Missy Elliott (44), Carl Lewis (54), Jerry Hall (59), Montel Williams (59) and Yardley Smith (51).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 28th June 2015

Dead Pool Background

Welcome all,  we have points to distribute!!  Well done to Julie and Liz for correctly guessing that Patrick Mcnee would die this year, 57 points each! We almost had more to hand out, but it was Dick Van Patten who died, not Dick Van Dyke! I bet you all nearly shat yourselves when you saw that! So, a slight change in the league table, with six months to go.

Now we’re at the halfway point, some of us are doing quite well, some of us not so well. I personally thought my list was the bomb this year, but seeing I’m yet to score, I’m slightly mistaken. Oh well, you never know what will happen, one minute you’re enjoying a Tunisian holiday… Too soon?

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

CARLThe UK’s heaviest man has been found dead in his Dover flat. Carl Thompson, who weighed 65 stone, had been housebound for more than a year. The fire brigade, police and ambulance staff took several hours to remove the 33 year old from his home. His body was removed using a small crane. Consuming 10,000 calories every day – four times the usual daily amount for a man – he reportedly spent about £200 a week on takeaways and online food shopping. Unable to walk or dress himself, Thompson was bathed and cooked for by a team of NHS carers. The owner of Thompson’s favourite takeaway – who would deliver food to his bedside using a key to his flat – spoke of sending him what may have been his final food order. Merdad Mohebbi, owner of nearby Q Pizza, told the Sun: “I can’t believe it. He had cut right down on what he was eating. He was only ordering one or two things a day. When I took the order he seemed happy enough. He was talking about how he was going to the hospital and they were going to do tests for him. He was full of life.”

Dzhokhar_TsarnaevThe Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has apologised to his victims as he returned to court to be formally sentenced to death. “I am sorry for the lives I have taken, for the suffering that I have caused you,” he told the injured and bereaved. Tsarnaev and his brother killed three and injured 264 when they bombed the finish line of the marathon in 2013. What we are now concerned with is, how long will he be on Death Row? Are you confident that swift justice will be upheld? At 21 years old there’s a potential points windfall for anyone who lists him, but as with all Death Row inmates, appeals upon appeals tend to drag on over years.

BobbiBobbi Kristina Brown’s condition has worsened and her family say she is now in a hospice to die. A statement released on behalf of the Houston family said that “despite the great medical care at numerous facilities, Bobbi Kristina Brown’s condition has continued to deteriorate, as of today, she has been moved into hospice care.” The news comes as a court case against Brown’s boyfriend, Nick Gordon is filed. The legal case accuses Gordon of only marrying Brown after she inherited a substantial amount of money and alleges that Gordon’s behaviour “caused, among other things, substantial bodily harm to Brown.” It also claimed that since Brown’s hospitalisation in January, Gordon has accessed her accounts and stole more than $11,000 (£7,000). Nice chap…

And finally, TV presenter Michelle Watt has been  found dead in her home at the age of 38, sadly she wasn’t famous enough to feature on the main list as she does not have a Wiki entry under her own name. Police discovered her body on Wednesday evening after being called to an address in Airth, near Falkirk. The former 60 Minute Makeover host had also worked on programmes including the Scottish dating show Club Cupid and STV’s The Hour. Apparently there are no suspicious circumstances to report, other than she died.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Bernie Kopell (82), Lana Del Rey (30), Kris Kristofferson (79), Meryl Streep (66), Cyndi Lauper (62), Randy Couture (52), Francis McDormand (58), Selma Blair (43), KT Tunstall (40), Melissa Rauch (35), Zinedine Zidane (43), Jeff Beck (71), Mick Fleetwood (68), Lionel Messi (28), Carly Simon (70), Ricky Gervais (54), George Michael (52), Chris Isaak (59), Jason Schwartzman (35), JJ Abrams (49) and Tobey Maguire (40).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 21st June 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon my morbid minions, we have points to disburse! Well done Dave and Paul C. for correctly guessing that Jeralean Talley, the worlds oldest living person (now not so much), would kick the bucket this year. 34 points each. I know, not many points, but it’s still 34 more than most of us have.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

john-hurtVeteran actor Sir John Hurt has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The 75-year-old, who was Oscar-nominated for his role in 1980’s The Elephant Man, said he would continue working despite the diagnosis. “I am undergoing treatment and am more than optimistic about a satisfactory outcome, as indeed is the medical team,” he told the Press Association. “I am continuing to focus on my professional commitments and will shortly be recording Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell (one of life’s small ironies!) for BBC Radio 4,” he said.

TommyChongIn the same vein, Tommy Chong, one half of the 1970s comedy duo Cheech and Chong, reveals he has rectal cancer. “I have good news and bad news. First the bad  news, the cancer came back and it is a real pain in the butt,” the 77-year-old comedian tweeted. “The good news is I now have to use more marijuana to treat the cancer.” Chong was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago, and cited marijuana as a key player in his recovery. It can’t have helped that much if it came back!

George MichaelLeading on, we have reports of former dance-pop singer George Michael being in rehab over marijuana use. The 51-year-old has checked in to the Switzerland-based Kusnacht Practice to receive treatment for substance abuse, after having “admitted to have consumed up to 25 joints per day”. Once described as “the world’s most expensive rehab clinic”, the facility near to Zurich charges around €100,000 (£72,000) for treatment and has previously been used by other famous clients, including designer John Galliano. The clinic released a statement saying: “We can neither confirm nor deny that George Michael is a patient with us.” In March last year, Michael said he had not used cannabis for “well over a year-and-a-half”, so he must be making up for lost time…

Colin-MontgomerieColin Montgomerie checked into hospital due to chest pains early on Sunday but was cleared in time to play his final round at the Senior Players Championship in Massachusetts. The Briton, considered one of the best players never to have landed a regular major title, has won three major championships in the over-50s ranks since joining the tour in 2013. The Scot said he felt discomfort at the end of his third round but returned to the course on Sunday after treatment. “I decided the prudent thing was to go in and get checked,” Montgomerie said. “I had all these CAT scans and all this stuff. I had two hours to do it this morning and the staff of the hospital was superb.”At 51 years of age, Montgomorie has at least won one major title, that of Oldest Living Scotsman. Anyone feeding him deep fried battered pizza will be disqualified.

jason-dayIn more golfing drama, Australian golfer Jason Day has collapsed on the final hole of his second round at the US Open Championship in Washington with a bout of vertigo! Day was walking down the ninth, his final hole of the day, when he collapsed. After a delay of several minutes, he got back to his feet and made a bogey. Day has been suffering from fatigue and dizzy spells for the better part of a year, withdrawing from last year’s World Golf Championship Bridgestone Invitational after a bout and once again having issues in 2015. The 27-year-old has taken a series of tests over the last month to try to pinpoint the problem but has yet to get an answer. Brain tumour anyone?

AlisdairWriter and artist Alasdair Gray has been seriously injured after a fall at his home. An ambulance was called to the 80 year old’s house in the West End of Glasgow at around 2am on Thursday, and he was taken to hospital for treatment. He is best known as author of the novel Lanark, but is also regarded for his artwork – including a series of murals. His injuries are not believed to be life threatening at this time but we all know what a fall does to an 80 year old!!

wild-elephant-in-the-woods-somwarpetAnd finally, if you go down to the woods today, you might be in for a huge surprise, like a man taking his regular morning stroll who was killed by an elephant that had escaped from a nearby circus. The 65-year-old was walking in the woods near Buchen, a town in south-west Germany, when the African elephant attacked him shortly after 5am local time. What the fuck he was doing in the woods at 5am wasn’t explained and Police declined to say what injuries the unnamed man suffered. The 34-year-old female elephant, called Baby, was captured and returned to the circus. Police are now investigating whether someone let the elephant out of its secure enclosure, and why the animal acted aggressively toward the man.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Donald Trump (69), Boy George (54), Steffi Graf (46), Jim Belushi (61), Helen Hunt (52), Courtney Cox (51), Ice Cube (46), Neil Patrick Harris (42), Barry Manilow (72), Newt Gingrich (72), Venus Williams (35), Paul McCartney (73), Isabella Rossellini (63), Alison Moyet (54), Richard Madden (29), Kathleen Turner (61), Paula Abdul (53), Mia Sara (48), Zoe Saldana (37), Olympia Dukakis (84), Martin Landau (87), Danny Aiello (82), Brian Wilson (73), Lionel Richie (66), John Goodman (63), Nicole Kidman (48) and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (26).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 14th June 2015

Dead Pool Background

What a week! It seemed like there was a mass extinction of celebrities, but for us here at Dead Pool Towers, the only death that mattered was Christopher Lee. Many of you had him listed, but strangely none of you saw fit to declare him a Cert, which is usually a sign of a well loved celebrity.

So, 57 points are awarded thusly: Luke, Ashley, Liz, Julie, Kirsty, Paul G, & Nickie, well done to all of you, especially those of you who have scored for the first time this year.

This week I’ve taken the liberty of adding the lists to the email so you can refresh your memory on who you and everyone else has on their lists of doom. After all, its been over six months and I bet you’re wondering why you’re still part of this abominable endeavour.

So take a quick look, correct me if I’ve gone wrong or missed a death and remember that there’s months to go yet, so if like me you’ve yet to score, all is not lost, who knows what will happen! Maybe a plane crash at the Oscars….

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

GrohlThe Foo Fighters have cancelled two gigs after frontman Dave Grohl sustained “at least one fracture” when he fell off the stage during a concert in Gothenburg, Sweden. The band were two songs into their set at the Ullevi stadium when Grohl went to jump on a ramp but missed and fell into the security area. “I think I just broke my leg,” the singer told the crowd as he lay on the ground. “I’m going to go to hospital. I’m going to fix my leg. And then I’m going to come back.” Eyewitnesses told the media that the band continued the concert, playing cover versions whilst Grohl sought medical attention. A fan said, “He reappeared after an hour to continue the concert, sitting in a chair with his leg bandaged. It was surreal to see him perform on stage with a medic holding his leg. The crowd was just amazed that he was carrying on. He was just phenomenal. I can’t see how he will make the next gig in Holland but then he’s more of a man than I am so I wouldn’t put it past him.”

This year has seen several musicians injured on stage. Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine broke her foot leaping off stage at the Coachella Music Festival in April, while U2 guitarist The Edge misjudged his step and fell off the stage during the opening night of the band’s Innocence and Experience tour. Madonna also fell off stage during a live performance at the Brit Awards. The pop star continued her performance, but said she suffered “a little bit of whiplash”. It’s a perilous old game being a musician these days!

GreavesThe former England and Tottenham striker Jimmy Greaves has left hospital just over a month after suffering a severe stroke. The 75-year-old was admitted into intensive care on 3 May but his friend and agent Terry Baker has now confirmed Greaves “has left hospital and entered a rehabilitation unit for the next few weeks”. Baker added in a statement on Facebook: “He has improved considerably but there is still a very long way to go.” Which suggests that Greavesy is now struggling with soup and incapable of wiping his own arse.

Paul_GascoignePaul Gascoigne has revealed that he is “happy in life” in a Radio 5 interview. Gascoigne, 48, knew something was wrong during his playing days and spoke of his relief at finally being diagnosed as an alcoholic and admits that he’s spent £300,000 on rehab clinics. Although he still manages to go on a bender now and again, he denied that he’s a piss addled sot and the media has totally blown up the whole situation. He still reckons he’s the best footballer ever to have played for England, which may be true, but is a sad statement about English football. 2/1 he dies during a xmas binge of sadness.

BULL-GORE-TESTICLEA Spanish bullfighter gored in the testicles by a bull he was fighting has left hospital. Marco Galan underwent surgery after Sunday’s incident where he was lifted into the air after black fighting bull thrust its left horn into his groin. The infirmary said in its medical report that he had suffered a “bull horn wound in the scrotum which caused bruising and evisceration of the left testicle”. Sadly the brutal bastard will survive, unlike the poor bull. At least he managed to get some kind of restitution before he was killed for ‘entertainment’.

BeesAnd finally, if you think you’re having a bad day, think about this poor fucker who has survived after being stung up to 1,000 times by tens of thousands of bees near Kingman in north-western Arizona after he disturbed a large hive in a shed in his backyard. “The number of bees in the shed was unbelievable,” a spokesman said. “The deputy who arrived said it was it was like something you’d see in the movies. It was just amazing.” Authorities said the man was working on the property when he was stung and ran to his vehicle, getting help from two passersby who were also stung. A beekeeper called to the scene was also stung 23 times. He told authorities it would probably take several days to fully contain the bees. A particular strain of bee has been menacing people and animals in Arizona in recent weeks, with some being hurt badly enough to require a hospital stay. Nature is finally turning on us!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tom Jones (75), Liam Neeson (53), Bear Grylls (41), Bill Hader (37), Michael Cera (27), Anna Kournikova (34), Jerry Stiller (88), Nancy Sinatra (75), Griffin Dunne (60), Kayne West (38), Barbara Bush (90), Michael J. Fox (54), Johnny Depp (52), Natalie Portman (34), Elizabeth Hurley (50), Gene Wilder (81), Hugh Laurie (56), Shia LeBeouf (29), George H. W. Bush (91), Malcolm McDowell (72), Tim Allen (62), Ally Sheedy (53), Steve-O (41),

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 7th June 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon all, another fun packed edition of the Dead Pool Newsletter to keep you amused on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Alas no listed deaths this week, but plenty of news, in fact so much news I’ve had to leave out more than I put in.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

272395_1The former snooker player Willie Thorne has announced he is suffering from prostate cancer. Thorne, 61, told the media that the cancer was discovered at an early stage and said he was hopeful of making a full recovery. Thorne, a former UK Championship runner-up who has forged a career as a snooker commentator with the BBC since retiring from playing, has been battling gambling problems. He said: “I feel numb with everything that has gone on. But I am determined to summon the strength and fight. “I’m scared because I’ve spent two years living a lie with the gambling, depression and debts – I do wonder if this has been brought on by the stress.” Sounds like a good bet for next year!

NIchelleNichelle Nichols, best known for her role as Lieutenant Uhura  in TV’s Star Trek, has suffered a stroke. In an updated post on Facebook, her agent reported that Nichols was “awake, eating, in good spirits and able to have full conversations.” “Her right side has shown minor signs of mobility loss but she is not showing any signs of paralyses. The 82-year-old was handpicked by Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry to appear in the original 1960s TV series. Her casting as fourth in command of the USS Enterprise broke many racial barriers, with Nichols becoming the first black woman to share a kiss with a white man (William Shatner) on US television in 1966.

Ahmen-KhawajaA BBC journalist is facing disciplinary action for killing off the Queen on Twitter after apparently mistaking a rehearsal of the announcement of her death for the real thing. The Corporation apologised after Ahmen Khawaja, a broadcast journalist, sent a tweet saying: “‘Queen Elizabrth has died [sic]’:@BBCWorld”. It was sent during one of the corporation’s regular rehearsals for royal deaths, but insiders said Ms Khawaja was not taking part in the exercise and appeared to have overheard the rehearsal and tweeted what she thought was breaking news. Ms Khawaja, 31,had previously sent a tweet saying: “BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth is being treated at King Edward 7th Hospital in London. Statement due shortly: @BBCWorld.” By sheer coincidence the Queen was, in fact, at the very same hospital for her annual check-up at the time, but sources said Ms Khawaja did not know that.

helmut-kohlThe former German chancellor Helmut Kohl is reported to be in a critical condition in the intensive-care unit of a German hospital. Kohl, 85, who served as chancellor between 1982 and 1998 and is known as the architect of German reunification, was admitted to the Heidelberg’s university hospital in south-west Germany following an operation on his intestines. Neither his office nor the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) has responded to requests by German media for information about his condition. The hospital said his family might release a statement.

Bhumibol_AdulyadejThailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej has gone back into hospital, only a few weeks after being discharged. A statement from the palace on Sunday said he was undergoing tests at the Siriraj  Hospital in Bangkok but did not say when he was likely to return to his home in the coastal city of Hua Hin. As you know, the 87-year-old monarch has been in poor health for some years and is a good shout for next years lists.

enrique-iglesias-droneSpanish singer Enrique Iglesias has been receiving treatment after two of his fingers were injured by a drone camera during a concert in Mexico. The singer had been attempting to grab the drone, apparently in an attempt to give fans a point-of-view shot from the stage. At the time the 40 year old singer was “semi-treated” at the side of the stage to stop the bleeding, and was advised to end the show. However, he performed for another 30 minutes before seeking further treatment where he found his mangled hand was worse than expected. Following reconstructive surgery on Monday, it was announced he would need several weeks to recover.

hawkingAnd finally, Stephen Hawking has said he would consider ending his own life if he became a burden to others or if he had “nothing more to contribute”. But the physicist and cosmologist told a forthcoming BBC programme he knows he has much more scientific work to do, despite his advanced motor neurone disease. “To keep someone alive against their wishes is the ultimate indignity,” Hawking, 73, told his interviewer, the comedian Dara O’Briain. “I would consider assisted suicide only if I were in great pain or felt I had nothing more to contribute but was just a burden to those around me.” Let’s see what he does!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Angelina Jolie (40), Clint Eastwood (85), Brooke Shields (50), Mark Wahlberg (44), Heidi Klum (42), Colin Farrell (39), Alanis Morissette (41), Morgan Freeman (78), Russell Brand (40), Dana Carvey (60), Lea Thompson (54), Ronnie Wood (58), Jonathan Pryce (68), Charlie Watts (74), Paul Giamatti (48), Robert Englund (68), Bruce Dern (79), Rafael Nadal (29), Justin Long (37), Zachary Quinto (38), Tom Berenger (66), Sandra Bernhard (60) and Jason Isaacs (52).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 31st May 2015

Dead Pool Background

Sadly, no points again this week, but a plethora of other deaths and plenty of death related news for you to enjoy nevertheless. Without further ado:

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

Actor Unknown, who starred in Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago in the 1960s, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. The 83-year-old star’s agent confirmed the news, just in case you didn’t believe him. His son Tarek told us “He still knows he’s a famous actor. The loss of memory affects above all specific things, details like when he was in a specific place or who he acted with in a specific film, he remembers, for example, that it was Doctor Zhivago but he’s forgotten when it was filmed. He can talk about the film but he forgets its name or he calls it something else instead like Lawrence of Arabia.” Egypt-born Sharif won two Golden Globe awards and an Oscar nomination for his role as Sherif Ali in David Lean’s 1962 epic Lawrence of Arabia, or did he? I’m not so sure anymore…

Jack-VettrianoScottish artist Jack Vettriano has announced he is giving up painting for the foreseeable future due to a recent accident. He has released a statement  saying that he has dislocated his shoulder and is facing a long recovery period. The statement from Mr Vettriano said: “As a result of a recent accident my right shoulder was dislocated and the reality is that I am going to be unable to paint in the foreseeable future. “I am undertaking a course of physiotherapy but am facing a long recovery period. In the meantime I would like to thank the public for their continued support and interest.” Paintings by the 61-year-old Fife artist, including The Singing Butler, have fetched huge sums and his prints and postcards sell in vast quantities for some reason.

_kerry_The US secretary of state, John Kerry, was in a stable condition in a Geneva hospital after being injured in an accident while cycling near Scionzier, France. Kerry, 71, was transported by helicopter to a hospital in Geneva, where he was being examined for a broken leg after hitting a kerb. X-rays at a Swiss hospital confirmed that Kerry fractured his right femur. “The secretary is stable and never lost consciousness, his injury is not life-threatening and he is expected to make a full recovery,” a spokesman said in a statement. The question arrises, WTF was a 71 year old doing on a bicycle??? Twat…

N IrelandNorthern Ireland’s first minister, Peter Robinson, has been discharged from hospital as he recovers from a suspected heart attack. The Democratic Unionist party leader was admitted to the Ulster hospital in Dundonald on Monday, before being moved to Belfast’s Royal Victoria hospital (RVH), where he was fitted with a heart stent. After leaving the RVH on Friday the 66-year-old paid tribute to the hospital’s staff. “Happy to be discharged and back home. Thanks to the wonderful RVH cardiac team – everyone a star,” he tweeted. Can’t be that serious if he can tweet.

Tracy_MorganComic and 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan has settled his legal case against Walmart over a crash which left him seriously injured, and killed his friend. A Walmart truck crashed in to the back of Morgan’s limo in June 2014, with prosecutors alleging the driver had not slept for more than 24 hours. Morgan’s lawyer, Benedict Morelli, said Walmart “took full responsibility for the accident”. Morgan, 46, was left in a critical condition following the crash, suffering a traumatic head injury, a broken leg, nose and ribs. In March, his lawyer said the star had not yet been able to get back to work but was “working very hard to get better, physically, emotionally and mentally.” Which is lawyer speak for ‘he’s absolutely fine’. Morgan will be interviewed tomorrow on NBC’s Today program by Matt Lauer, so you can see for yourself the extent of his injuries.

Sam-ShepardActor and Pulitzer prize-winning playwright Sam Shepard was arrested Monday on suspicion of drunken driving after a Santa Fe restaurant’s security complained about a possibly intoxicated driver. The 71-year-old Shepard told a police officer that he had two tequila drinks and was planning to drive home, Santa Fe police lieutenant Andrea Dobyns said Tuesday. “Our officer could smell alcohol on his breath, and he had bloodshot, watery eyes,” she said. Shepherd declined to take a breath test, but he did perform a field sobriety test, which he failed! Monday’s arrest appears to be Shepard’s second on charges of drunken driving. In January 2009, he was arrested on charges of speeding and drunken driving in the central Illinois town of Normal. Shepard was driving 16 mph over the 30 mph speed limit, police said. A breath test then indicated his blood-alcohol level was double the legal limit. The actor told police then that he had been at a tavern in nearby Bloomington and was heading to a hotel. I’m taking bets on liver failure..

oldest-twinsAnd finally, Britain’s oldest twins have died just weeks apart after being inseparable for 103 years. Glenys Thomas died in April before her heartbroken sister Florence Davies passed away within a month. The great-great-grandmothers were born in 1911, the year before the Titanic sunk. They lived through two world wars, the civil rights movement and huge advances in technology, but they always lived in the small mining village of Abertridwr, in Caerphilly, South Wales, where they had homes next to each other. The twins – believed to be the oldest identical twins in the world – built an interior door joining the two kitchens of their homes to make it easier to see each other. The pair did everything together before Mrs Thomas died on April 23, followed by Mrs Davies last Wednesday, May 20. Their family put their great age down to a “nice, quiet life”.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Laverne Cox (31), Priscilla Presley (70), Bob Dylan (74), Stevie Nicks (67), Mike Myers (52), Lauren Hill (40), Annette Bening (57), Todd Bridges (50), Mel B (40), Lenny Kravitz (51), Helena Bonham Carter (49), Anne Heche (46), Tommy Chong (77), John C. Reilly (50), Sir Ian McKellen (76), Frank Oz (71), Pam Grier (66), Bobcat Goldthwait (53), Louis Gossett Jr. (79), Cilla Black (72), Siouxie Sioux (58), Paul Bettany (44), Andre 3000 (40), Joseph Finnes (45), Gladys Knight (71), La Toya Jackson (59), Rupert Everett (56), Stephen Gerrard (35), Colm Meaney (62), Noel Gallagher (48), Kylie Minogue (47), Jamie Oliver (40), Denise Van Outen (41) and Jim Broadbent (66).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 24th May 2015

Dead Pool Background

In a week where nothing seems to have happened in the celebrity death scene, I’ve managed to cobble together a small write up whilst pissed on Eurovision wine. Count yourselves lucky that anything at all was written! I best send out the evil flying monkeys again, otherwise next week will be just as dismal!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

BRUCSadly, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson has been given the all clear from cancer. Diagnosed during a routine check-up just before Christmas in 2014, a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy for a cancerous tumour on his tongue has been successful: “We are very happy to announce that following his recent MRI scan, Bruce was today officially given the all-clear by his specialists,” the band said in a statement. In a post on the Iron Maiden website, the 56-year-old artist thanked his fans, family and his medical team for their support and treatment which has led to this “amazing outcome.” There’s always a chance for a relapse isn’t there?

_f1_bianchi_j_silverstoneThe family of F1 driver Jules Bianchi are still hoping for miracle but admit the situation has become “stagnant”, very much like the bowl of piss under my  bed. Bianchi, 25, has been unconscious since crashing into a recovery vehicle during last October’s Japanese Grand Prix. “While there’s life, there’s hope, even though after a while you are hoping for a miracle,” Philippe Bianchi said. He added: “We have to think about death because we are in a situation where we know a lot of things can happen. It’s terrible. In neurological terms, I’m not sure he is able to do much now.”

Screen-ShotSaudi Arabia is advertising for eight new executioners, recruiting extra staff to carry out an increasing number of death sentences usually done by public beheading. No special qualifications are needed for the jobs whose main role is “executing a judgment of death” but also involve performing amputations on those convicted of lesser offences. The Islamic kingdom is in the top five countries in the world for putting people to death, so you should keep this in mind when you make your next list! It ranked third in 2014, after China and Iran, and ahead of Iraq and the United States, according to Amnesty International figures. If you’re interested, a downloadable pdf application form is available. The job is classified as “religious functionary” and that it would be at the lower end of the civil service pay scale.

imagesAnd finally, a Singaporean man has died after falling off a cliff and into the sea while attempting to take a selfie on an island off the coast of Bali in Indonesia. Mohamed Aslam Shahul, 21, was killed after losing his balance and falling into the sea from a two-metre high cliff, during a holiday with eight friends at the Sandy Bay Beach in Nusa Lembongan. Apparently he couldn’t swim… The news of his death emerged as another selfie-related incident was reported in Russia, a young woman accidentally shot herself in the head while taking a photograph of herself. The 21-year-old was said to have been posing while pointing a 9mm handgun to her head. She had found the gun at her Moscow office left behind by a security guard. While taking a selfie with one hand, she accidentally pressed the gun’s trigger instead of the shutter, shooting herself in the temple at close range, according to reports. The woman was in a “serious condition” today, a spokeswoman for Moscow’s Sklifosovsky hospital told RIA Novosti state news agency. Darwinism is not a theory people!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Tina Fey (45), Sam Smith (23), Joan Collins (82), Pete Townshend (70), Naomi Campbell (45), Mr. T (63), Cher (69), Grace Jones (67), Jack Gleeson (23), Bill Paxton (60), Judge Reinhold (58), Morrissey (56), Enya (54), Trent Reznor (50), Jordan Knight (45), Sugar Ray Leonard (59), Busta Rhymes (43), Marvin Hagler (61), Andrea Corr (41) and Chow Yun Fat (60).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 17th May 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundPoints!!! Points have  been scored!!! Woo!!! Well done to Sylvia, Kaz and Stu, all guessing that B.B. King would play his last riff this year. But extra props to Sylvia who had him as her Cert. Well done all of you!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Rob-FordRob Ford, the former Toronto mayor, has undergone surgery to remove a cancerous tumour in his abdomen. Doctors removed the growth in an intensive operation that kept him under anaesthesia for about 10 hours, Ford’s chief of staff said. “There were no new growths, the cancer had not spread beyond what they were already aware of, and they were able to remove all the existing growths without causing damage to any internal structures.” Ford’s surgery comes after several rounds of chemotherapy and radiation that he said had shrunk his tumour to an operable size. He has said he could be out of commission for four months. Ford, whose admitted drug and alcohol abuse and outrageous behaviour earned him international notoriety, was forced out of his mayoral re-election bid in September 2014 when doctors discovered his rare, aggressive malignant liposarcoma. He ran successfully for his old city council seat instead.

tomhardyAs Mad Max: Fury Road debuts across the globe, actor Tom Hardy has opened up about his struggle with drugs. Hardy spoke about his addictions to both alcohol and drugs, stating: “I would have sold my mother for a rock of crack.” Alas the actor has now been clean and sober since 2003 and claims that it was a very clear statement that got him back to a better place. But there is every chance of a remission, amirite?

paul-masonThe man once dubbed the world’s fattest has had between three and four stone (22 to 27kg) of skin removed. Paul Mason, 54, from Ipswich, used to weigh 70 stone (440kg) but has lost about 45 stone (285kg). He is currently in New York recuperating after a nine-hour operation to remove his loose skin. Asked by BBC Radio Suffolk about the removal of so much tissue, he said: “I just think ‘good riddance’.” About half of the skin removed was from Mr Mason’s right leg with further significant surgery to what he described as his “apron”, which covered his midriff. Mr Mason, who used to have £75-worth of takeaways and chocolate delivered to his door daily, had the operation thanks to a donation of time by Dr Jennifer Capla.

The_EdgeU2’s latest world tour got off to an unsteady start in Vancouver on Thursday night, when lead guitarist The Edge fell off the edge of the stage. The guitarist fell during the last song of the night, which the rest of his caring bandmates continued to play while he was helped up by security guards. The Edge later posted on Instagram a picture of his grazed and cut right arm, with the message: “Didn’t see the edge, I’m OK!!” Twat!

HearseAnd finally, a family was left waiting in torrential rain at their mother’s graveside after an “amazing coincidence” saw fellow mourners follow the wrong hearse for nine miles. A group of relatives lost the right hearse, belonging to 71-year-old Mair Howard, after getting stuck in traffic at a roundabout and becoming separated from the rest of the cortege. The three cars, containing Mrs Howard’s nephews and pall-bearers, proceeded to trail the wrong coffin along the A50 in Wales for nine miles, only realising their mistake when family members waiting at the graveside called to ask where they were. Mrs Howard’ son Gareth said his mother would have found the mix-up amusing. He said: “It was, of course, a sad occasion but despite getting soaking wet everyone had a good laugh – and I know Mam would have as well.”

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Bono (55), Linda Evangelista (50), Burt Bacharach (87), Emilio Estevez (53), Gabriel Byrne (65), Jason Biggs (37), Stephen Baldwin (49), Steve Winwood (67), Tony Hawk (47), Ving Rhames (56), Harvey Keitel (76), Stevie Wonder (65), Stephen Colbert (51), Robert Pattinson (29), Dennis Rodman (54), George Lucas (71), Tim Roth (54), Cate Blanchett (46), Natalie Appleton (42), Mark Zuckerberg (31), Zara Phillips (34), Pierce Brosnan (62), Debra Winger (60), Janet Jackson (49), Megan Fox (29) and George Clooney (54).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 10th May 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundAlas no points this week, even with a few big names on this weeks listing, one of those evil flying monkeys must have been still about, either that or Orville and Chuckles decided to bring some in on their way to their final destination. Without further ado…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

GreevesThe former Tottenham Hotspur and England striker Jimmy Greaves is out of intensive care following a severe stroke on Sunday and is able to sit up in bed, according to his family. Greaves was admitted to intensive care on Sunday and on Tuesday his wife Irene disclosed that he was conscious and aware of the seriousness of his condition but that he was unable to speak. He suffered a minor stroke in 2012 but appeared to have made a full recovery. Greaves was due to be inducted into the Tottenham Hotspur Hall of Fame on 13th May at a sellout ceremony at White Hart Lane, but we doubt he’s going to be fit enough.

peleIn more footballing news, Brazil legend and three-time World Cup winner Pele has left hospital in Sao Paolo after undergoing prostrate surgery. The  74-year-old was admitted to the Albert Einstein Hospital in Sao Paolo on Tuesday for the second time in six months. Pele, the three-time World Cup winner, was treated for a urinary infection in November 2014 after having kidney stones removed, which was a wordy because he only one kidney, having had one removed towards the end of his playing career. I suspect he hasn’t got half his asshole now either.

bhumibolAnother guy leaving hospital is King Bhumibol Adulyadej, after recovering from a gall bladder operation since last October. He must have really liked hospital food or the nurses were super friendly. However, crowds lined the streets and cheered as the 87-year-old king was driven from the capital, Bangkok, to the royal palace in the coastal town of Hua Hin. It is not the first time he has had a long stay in hospital – he spent four years getting treatment before being released in 2013, those nurses must be something else!

B.B. KingBlues guitarist BB King has told fans he is receiving hospice care at his home following a short stay in hospital. The 89-year-old has lived with type II diabetes for more than 20 years, and has had several spells in hospital in recent months. A message on his website said: “I am in home hospice care at my residence in Las Vegas. Thanks to all for your well wishes and prayers.” He was forced to cancel the remainder of a tour last October when he fell ill during a show, and was later diagnosed with dehydration and exhaustion, so there’s no wonder he’s in need of a sexy hospice nurse to look after him.

goslingAnd finally a nice little tale to sweeten your afternoon. You might not have heard of Ryan McHenry, but he died last week at the age of 27 of bone cancer. He was the genius that created the ‘Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal’ meme. Look them up, it’s hilarious. However, upon hearing of McHenry’s death, Ryan Gosling Vined himself eating cereal to honour his passing. Well done sir!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Adele (27), George Clooney (54), Christina Hendricks (40), Will Arnett (45), Candice Bergen (69), Don Rickles (89), Rosario Dawson (36), Billy Joel (66), Enrique Iglesias (40), Chris Brown (26), Frankie Valli (81), Traci Lords (47), Roy McIlroy (26), Michael Palin (72), Henry Cavill (32), Richard E. Grant (58), Albert Finney (79),  James L. Brooks (75), Glenda Jackson (79), David Attenborough (89),  Alan Dale (68), John Rhys-Davies (71), Lance Henriksen (75) and Rob Brydon (50).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 3rd May 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundI said last week that I’d be sending out the evil flying monkeys and they haven’t disappointed in supplying a few big names. Alas, none of us managed to score. How on earth did we all fail to name any of them astounds me! I’m a bit reticent to send out the monkeys again this week, but I shall if you moribund minions demand it!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Canadian singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is “alert and… has her full senses” and is “not in a coma”, a statement on her official website says. The statement followed reports the 71-year-old, hospitalised last month after being found unconscious at home, was not able to care for herself. A friend filed a petition this week to become Mitchell’s guardian, in which the singer was said to be unresponsive. The petition was reportedly accompanied by a doctor’s declaration stating that the singer would be unable to attend a court hearing for four to six months. All sounds very contrived…

VergaraIn a creepy, ‘I can’t let go of my ex’ story, Modern Family actress Sofia Vergara is in a legal battle with her former fiancé, who wants to have children from the couple’s frozen embryos. Nick Loeb said he wants a surrogate to carry and give birth to two embryos he and Vergara created through in vitro fertilisation before they split up. He said the actress, who plays Gloria in the ABC comedy, has refused. Vergara, who has been named the highest-earning actress on TV for the last three years, declined to comment. So, we’re in a position now to finally solve the eternal case of ‘is an egg a person’. Are embryos allowed to be counted on the Dead Pool?? Over to you!

KimNorth Korea’s Kim Jong-un ordered the execution of 15 senior officials this year, including several who complained about his policies. Those executed include two vice-ministers, both were punished for opposing or complaining about Kim’s directives, the legislators confirmed, adding that a vice-minister from the forestry department was executed for complaining about Kim’s forestation plan. Four members of North Korea’s Unhasu orchestra, where Ri Sol-ju, Kim’s wife, once worked as a singer, were also executed in March. They were killed by firing squad on spying charges. Now, if only we could find out who is close to Kim, we could rake in the points!!

RobertAlain Robert has been at it again. The self-styled French ‘Spiderman’ who has climbed some of the world’s tallest buildings without permission, scaled Paris’s tallest building, the 210-metre-high Montparnasse Tower, on Tuesday. Robert says he did the stunt to express support for the victims of the earthquake in Nepal. Robert reached the top of the tower in less than 50 minutes, putting up a Nepal flag en route, before being met by police. The guy can’t keep this up, he’s bound to slip one day…

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Jessica Alba (34), Dwayne Johnson (43), Kirsten Dunst (33), Daniel Day-Lewis (58), Willie Nelson (82), Penelope Cruz (41), Jerry Seinfeld (61), Uma Thurman (45), Jay Leno (65), Michelle Pfeiffer (57), Channing Tatum (35), David Beckham (40), Ellie Kemper (35), Jamie Dornan (33), Ann-Margret (74), Kevin James (50), Sheena Easton (56), Harper Lee (89), Andre Agassi (45), Mary McDonnell (63), Lily Allen (30), Julie Benz (43), Wes Anderson (46), Burt Young (75), Jet Li (52), Joan Chen (54) and Giancarlo Esposito (57).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 26th April 2015

Dead Pool Background

Short and sweet this week, not many notables have died and hardly any news of worth, but hopefully we’ve managed to put something together that will tickle your fancy on a Sunday afternoon. No points this week as you may have surmised, so with a certain amount of trepidation, we shall let loose the evil flying monkeys, you all know what happens when we do that!!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

150419-news-bobby-brown-bobbi-kristinaBobby Brown has said that his daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown is “awake” nearly three months after the 21-year-old was found unconscious in a bath. At a concert in Dallas on Saturday, Brown told the audience that “Bobbi is awake” and that “she is watching me”. Few details have been released about Bobbi Kristina’s health since she was taken to hospital on 31st January. There were unconfirmed reports at the time that Bobbi Kristina had been put in a medically-induced coma to reduce swelling on the brain but it’s believed she was released from hospital last month.

Rosanne-barr comedian, actress and TV star Roseanne Barr has revealed that she is suffering from glaucoma and macular degeneration and is slowing going blind. The outspoken, Emmy award-winning star of the 1990s hit comedy show Roseanne said that her vision “is closing now”. Barr, 62, said she smokes marijuana to help relieve the pressure she suffers in her eyes and also believes it opens her mind. Let’s hope the weed also helps her from tripping at the top of the stairs…

farageUKIP leader Nigel Farage has revealed that he is undergoing treatment for back  pain after speculation about his health. He insisted he was in good enough shape to fight the general election despite being on Temazepam, 65 pints of ale and 200 fags whilst receiving hospital treatment twice a week for the recurrence of serious back pain. In his recent autobiographical book, Purple Revolution, he revealed that several health scares including testicular cancer, a car accident and a light aircraft crash had left him with the body of a 70-year-old. So claiming to be as “fit as a flea” and accusing his political rivals of spreading untruths about his wellbeing was a lie as well…

The QueenAnd finally, The Queen spent her 89th birthday on Tuesday celebrating quietly with members of the Royal family at Windsor Castle as she took a rare week off from official engagements. Her Majesty still went through her daily quota of government red boxes, as she does every day except Christmas Day, but was otherwise able to relax with the Duke of Edinburgh as she entered her 90th year, much to the disappointment of many of the Poolers. Looks like she’s here to stay folks!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kate Hudson (36), Jack Nicholson (78), Jessica Lange (66), Al Pacino (75), Carmen Electra (43), Tony Danza (64), Queen Elizabeth II (89), Andie MacDowell (57), Lee Majors (76), Shirley MacLaine (81), Renee Zellweger (46), George Takei (78), Maria Sharapova (28), James Franco (37), Hayden Christensen (34), Andy Serkis (51), Ryan O’Neal (74), Iggy Pop (68), James McAvoy (36), Charles Grodin (80), Michael Moore (61), Hank Azaria (51), Talia Shire (69), Bjorn Ulvaeus (70), Djimon Hounsou (50), John Waters (69), Glenn Campbell (79) and Tim Curry (69).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 19th April 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundAlas a quiet week for points, which feels rather odd after the points bonanza of the last few weeks. I’ll also refrain from making that joke about the inventor of the Sledge Hammer again, well, until M.C. Hammer bites the bullet that is…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

 In Other News

Alain RobertSpiderman, aka Alain Robert, has been up to his old tricks again. This time the 52 year old scaled one of Dubai’s tallest skyscrapers, relying on just chalk and sticky tape on his fingertips to help him up the 75-storey high Cayan Tower in the emirate’s glitzy marina area. He completed climbing the 1007-foot (307 meter) high structure in just 70 minutes on Sunday. He had no harness and little space for his feet on the ledges of the tower, which twists as it ascends. One day we’ll see him in the previous section…

sue perkinsSue Perkins has said she is taking a break from Twitter because she has received death threats after speculation she might replace Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. The Great British Bake Off presenter – who also hosts an ITV chatshow with co-star Mel Giedroyc – tweeted on Tuesday to say that she was “off Twitter for a bit”. And you can’t blame her since seeing tweets wishing she would burn to death. Of course, the story of her taking over Top Gear is totally fabricated, so it makes all those people double douchebags. At least James May is of sound mind, the former presenter tweeted the trolls to ‘do the world a much bigger favour by killing yourself’ adding that ‘we don’t want them as fans’. I’ll not mention Clarkson’s cancer scare, we all know he’s pandering for sympathy.

Florence WelchFlorence Welch has revealed she suffered a broken foot while leaping off stage during her energetic live set at Coachella last weekend. The Florence and the Machine singer promises ‘stripped back’ live performances, with her Glastonbury show only two months away! Who knows what she’ll try then, perhaps bouncing on her head? However, it’s not all bad news from Coachella, Justin Bieber and his entourage were stopped by security and denied entry to Drake’s headline show, leading to an argument with festival staff. Not even an army of Beliebers could protect the little cunt from being put in a chokehold and getting kicked out!

JulesFormula 1 driver Jules Bianchi’s fight to recover from injuries sustained in a crash last year is the equivalent of “running a marathon every day”, according to his father. Bianchi, 25, remains in a coma, six months after the accident in Japan. He sustained a severe head injury when he crashed into a recovery vehicle at the Japanese Grand Prix and is now under the care of neurosurgeons in his native Nice. His father concluded the interview by saying “From a medical point of view, his condition is stable. All of his organs are working without assistance. But, for now, he remains unconscious.

DogAnd finally a warning to all potential MP’s. A Tory councillor is recovering at home after having three fingers severed by a dog when she tried to put electoral junk mail through a letterbox. Cllr Jane Chitty was left in agony when the Staffordshire bull terrier clamped down onto her hand on Friday lunchtime in an effort to defend his home from attack. The dog is fine but Cllr Chitty was quickly rushed to the specialist plastic surgery unit at East Grinstead Hospital in West Sussex where she underwent a five-hour operation. Cllr Chitty, who represents Strood, near Rochester, Kent, was handing out lies in support of Rochester and Strood candidate Kelly Tolhurst. The councillor will be reporting the incident to the Police when she is ready, after all she shouldn’t have been trespassing and littering to begin with and the dog should be praised for its actions.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Samantha Fox (49), Emma Thompson (56), Adrien Brody (42), Sarah Michelle Gellar (38), Emma Watson (25), Loretta Lynn (83), Saoirse Ronan (21), David Cassidy (65), Jennifer Morrison (36), David Letterman (68), Claire Danes (36), Andy Garcia (59), Paul Sorvino (76), Ex-Pope Benedict (88), Ellen Barkin (51), Matin Lawrence (50), Sean Bean (56), Jennifer Garner (43), Rooney Mara (30), Victoria Beckham (41), Conan O’Brien (52) and James Woods (68).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 12th April 2015

Dead Pool Background

We have points to dish out again! You’re all doing very well this year! Paul guessed that Gertrude Weaver would peg it, so an amazing 34 points! Dave guessed her too, but he had her as his Cert so an even more amazing 134 points awarded!!! Awesomeness to both of you. So the league table has changed considerably at the top once again. If you’re like me, languishing at the bottom of the table with a big fat zero, don’t worry, they’ve used up their Certs and Women, all we need is a couple of deaths and we’re right up there with the best! It’s only April after all!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

FabricantThe Conservative parliamentary candidate Michael Fabricant has revealed that he has skin cancer. He has been diagnosed with melanoma and basal cell carcinoma, but says he is “optimistic” because specialists told him they have caught it in time. Mr Fabricant, well known in the Commons for his shock of blond hair, said he intended to continue campaigning with his “usual enthusiasm”. Woo! Perhaps he’d be better off staying off the sun beds from now on.

B.B. King Blues guitarist BB King says he is “feeling much better” after being treated in hospital for dehydration. The 89-year-old musician was reportedly admitted after  suffering from dehydration caused by diabetes. The blues legend has had type 2 diabetes for more than two decades. In October 2014, King cancelled the remaining eight performances of a tour, owing to dehydration and exhaustion. I know the feeling, after a hard night on the whisky, I feel like I need the hospital too.

The Duke of Kent The Queen’s cousin, Prince Edward, The Duke of Kent, has been taken to hospital after suffering a hip injury, Buckingham Palace has said. It is understood the duke, 79, sustained a suspected dislocated hip while staying at the Balmoral estate in Scotland. No news on what he was up to when he managed to hurt himself, but he suffered a mild stroke in 2013, so perhaps he’s a bit doddery on his feet, nothing to do with a sex dungeon under the castle.

daniel_craigTalking of legs, Daniel Craig has had surgery after sustaining a knee injury while filming the new James Bond film, Spectre. Eon Productions said he had had a “minor procedure” in New York during a break in production over Easter. A spokeswoman denied reports the 47-year-old had missed several days of filming. “During a scheduled break, Daniel Craig had arthroscopic surgery to repair his knee injury. He will rejoin production on April 22nd at Pinewood,” she said. I’m sure the insurance people are already sighing in relief.

Justin BAnd finally, an arrest warrant has been issued for that little cunt Justin Bieber in Argentina after the singer failed to respond to summons related to an incident in 2013. Judge Alberto Julio Banos ordered the “immediate detention” of Bieber and bodyguards Hugo Alcides Hesny and Terrence Reche Smalls. Bieber is accused of sending the bodyguards to attack photographer Diego Pesoa outside a Buenos Aires nightclub. Bieber never returned to Argentina to respond to questions about the incident. Under Argentine law, Bieber would face from one month to six years in prison if convicted on a charge of causing injuries. Let’s hope he get’s a good stretch inside.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Kristen Stewart (25), Pharrell Williams (42), Robin Wright (49), Russell Crowe (51), Dennis Quaid (61), Jenna Jameson (41), Paul Rudd (46), Patricia Arquette (47),  Zach Braff (40), Francis Ford Coppola (76), John Ratzenberger (68), Haley Joel Osment (27), Hugh Hefner (89), Jackie Chan (61), Steven Seagal (63), Cynthia Nixon (49), Billy Dee Williams (78), Julian Lennon (51) and Joss Stone (28).

Next week peeps!


Dead Pool 5th April 2015

Dead Pool Background

Lets start with some housekeeping shall we? Last week a chap called Ray Douglas died, I missed him, but luckily a sharp eyed pooler noticed so we have points from last week to dispense. So, Liz and Martin get 43 points each for the death of that very well known composer Roy Douglas. Well done both of you 🙂

In other news, Dave, Julie, Lee and Paul all had Misao Okawa, the oldest person on the planet as their Cert, so 133 points each to them. Well done all of you!!

This has crowded the top of the league table somewhat, so all to play for, but for all of you who have yet to score, don’t worry, they’ve all used up their big pointers already on low scoring names, so it can all change dramatically at any moment!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

CastroThe former Cuban president Fidel Castro,  88, appeared in public for the first time in more than a year last Monday, greeting a delegation of Venezuelans and appearing “full of vitality”. Official media showed images of a seated Castro shaking hands with the visiting Venezuelans through the window of his vehicle, wearing a baseball cap and a windbreaker. There was no explanation of why five days passed before the encounter was reported. Seems some of you might have to wait a long time for this one to drop!

Joni Mitchell in 1974Singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is “getting stronger each day” after being taken to hospital earlier this week, a statement published on her website says. The 71-year-old was found unconscious in her Los Angeles home on Tuesday afternoon. A statement released on her website late on Friday said the singer was “resting comfortably”. It is still not clear what she’s being treated for. In December, Mitchell told Billboard magazine that she had a rare skin condition, Morgellons disease, which prevented her from performing. Morgellons is a controversial condition and is not recognised by mainstream medical authorities, many in the medical community believe it is a psychiatric disorder. So she’s just mad as a hatter then…

NickRobinsonThe BBC’s political editor, Nick Robinson, has said an operation to remove a tumour from his lung was a “complete success”. Robinson, who announced in February that he was undergoing treatment for lung cancer, said an operation to remove it had gone well and “normal service will be resumed as soon as possible”. Writing in a blog on the BBC’s website, the 51-year-old thanked doctors and nurses at the Royal Brompton and Royal Free hospitals for looking after him. He said: “I am now beginning a course of chemotherapy to try to stop the cancer even daring to think of returning. I’m also working to restore the strength of my voice after the op.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Weeks Birthdays

Celine Dion (47), Alec Baldwin (57), Robert Downey Jr. (50), Debbie Reynolds (83),  Eddie Murphy (54), Elle Macpherson (51), Warren Beatty (78), Susan Boyle (54), Christopher Walken (72), Rhea Perlman (67), MC Hammer (53), Eric Clapton (70), Michael Fassbender (38), Eric Idle (72), Ewan McGregor (44), Paris Jackson (16), Amanda Bynes (29), Brendan Gleeson (60), Lucy Lawless (47), Emmylou Harris (68), Piers Morgan (50), Al Gore (67), Ali MacGraw (76), Linda Hunt (70), Robbie Coltrane (65) and David Blaine (42).

Next week peeps!


Dead Pool 29th March 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundWelcome all, nil points scored this week, so no movement on the board. But as usual, we have produced an amazing newsletter full of nothingness for you to peruse on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Jon HammMad Men star Jon Hamm has recently completed a course of treatment for alcoholism, a spokesperson for the actor has confirmed. Hamm entered rehab to tackle his addiction with the support of his longtime partner, fellow actor and film-maker Jennifer Westfeldt, their publicist Annett Wolf said in a statement released on Tuesday. The 44-year-old actor has played Don Draper, a troubled advertising executive with a dark past and drinking problems of his own, for seven seasons. Seems life is imitating art!

Lord HallScotland Yard say they are investigating alleged threats to kill the director general of the BBC, Tony Hall, as the fallout over the decision to sack the Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson took a sinister turn. The BBC’s head of security put out an urgent appeal for ex-Special Forces personnel to take part in an operation to protect Lord Hall, said to cost to licence payers more than £1,000 a day. Hall has received a death threat before. In 1999 when he was head of BBC News, he went into hiding under police protection following a call that said he would be next after the murder of Jill Dando. I bet Oisin Tymon isn’t getting the same level of protection!!

JolieAngelina Jolie has revealed she has had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed to prevent her from developing ovarian cancer, the illness that killed her mother at the age of 56. Two years ago, Jolie had a double mastectomy because she had inherited the faulty BRCA1 gene, which placed her at high risk of developing breast cancer, and also gave her an elevated lifetime risk of developing ovarian cancer. We’re wondering how much of the 39 year old is left after so much surgery! Is she human anymore?

black-sabbathBlack Sabbath have announced one final show before the band bid farewell for good. Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler will headline Ozzfest Japan on 22 November – while an invite to Bill Ward, the band’s original drummer, is still pending. The legendary metal group began their reunion in 2012 with the aim to tour the world following the release of their album, 13. Some of the tour dates were scrapped after Iommi was diagnosed with cancer, although they were later able to appear at festivals such as Lollapalooza and Download before headlining a series of dates. Best keep an eye on them.

FarageAnti-UKIP protesters invaded a pub in south London where party leader Nigel Farage was having lunch. They chased Farage and his family out of the pub and jumped on the politician’s car bonnet as he drove away. Mr Farage later branded them “scum”. Mr Farage said: “I hope these ‘demonstrators’ are proud of themselves. My children were so scared by their behaviour that they ran away to hide. Perhaps Mr Farage is well suited for a listing on the Dead Pool, it’s only a matter of time before something gets out of hand, but do you feel sorry for an ardent racist and wanker? No, me neither…

BrandThis week we will also be declaring the death of humanity. Yes, comedian Russell Brand has been voted the world’s fourth most important thinker by readers of intellectual magazine Prospect. Which probably means they voted my torn and bleeding arsehole as number two! One thing’s for certain, both Brand and my arsehole have many things in common, both are hairy and produce an amazing amount of shit and neither should be on Question Time! What next? Frankie Boyle as Immigration Ambassador? FFS!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Reese Witherspoon (39), William Shatner (84), Andrew lloyd Webber (67), Lena Olin (60), Chaka Khan (62), Amanda Plummer (58), Perez Hilton (37), R. Lee Ermey (71), Donna Pescow (61), Kelly LeBrock (55), Lara Flynn Boyle (45), Jim Parsons (42), Alyson Hannigan (41), Jessica Chastain (38), Tommy Hilfiger (63), Aretha Franklin (73), Sir Elton John (68), Sarah Jessica Parker (50), Vladamir Klitschko (39), Keira Knightley (30), Alan Arkin (81), James Caan (75), Dianna Ross (71), Steven Syler (67), Martin Short (60), Jennifer Grey (55), Larry Page (42), Quentin Tarantino (52), Mariah Carey (45), Fergie (40), Jessie J (27), Lady Gaga (29), Dianne Wiest (67), Vince Vaughn (45) and Julia Styles (34).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 22nd March 2015

Dead Pool BackgroundWhat  have we here? More points to award! You guys are doing very well this year!  Well done to John for guessing Malcolm Fraser would peg it, 66 points! Also a well done to Lee for guessing that Leandra Becarra Limbreras would die at the age of 127, at least he had her as a Cert, so he will get some points! So the table has moved somewhat again, not by much, but at least some.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

PutinSince Vladimir Putin vanished from public view 10 days ago, the speculation surrounding the Russian president has been nothing if not dramatic. One rumour claimed he had died. Another wondered if some cosmetic surgery had gone wrong. Yet another placed him in Switzerland for the birth of a secret lovechild. The reality – two conflicting reports suggested on Sunday – may be rather less sensational and not at all at one with Putin’s virile image: while one claimed he had gone down with the flu, another suggested he had been suffering from back trouble. Nothing quite like gossip.

BrownBobbi Kristina Brown, the daughter of late pop singer Whitney Houston, has been moved to a rehabilitation facility from a Georgia hospital almost two months after she was found unresponsive in a bathtub. Citing an unnamed source close to the family, the news network said that Brown’s condition had not changed as doctors express their fears that she may never come out of a coma. Brown, 21, the only child of singers Bobby Brown and Houston was discovered on January 31st face down and unresponsive in a bathtub in her suburban home.

AdamThe actor Adam Deacon, best known for his roles in the film Kidulthood and Channel 4 police drama Babylon, has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act. Deacon had been due to appear at Thames magistrates court in Bow, east London, on Friday, to face charges of affray and possession of an offensive weapon in a public place. However, the court was told that Deacon was being held under section two of the Mental Health Act and was being treated in hospital.

SugeFormer rap music mogul Marion “Suge” Knight collapsed in a courtroom Friday shortly after a judge ordered him to be held on $25m bail in a murder case. Knight’s attorney Matthew Fletcher said his client, who is diabetic and has a blood clot, told him that he hadn’t received any medication since Thursday, so it’s hardly surprising he had a wobbly! The 49-year-old co-founder of Death Row Records has pleaded not guilty to murder, attempted murder and hit-and-run charges.

HurstRobert Durst, the US real estate tycoon, who is awaiting trial on a murder charge, has been moved to a mental health unit after being deemed a suicide risk. Durst was transferred on Tuesday night to a Louisiana state prison that handles severely mentally ill inmates. Mr Durst has found himself in this position after he appeared to confess to three killings while being filmed for documentary. During a break in the filming of a documentary about his life, Mr Durst can be heard saying “I don’t know what’s in the house,” just before saying he “killed them all”. Mr Durst appears to be speaking to himself in the recording, whilst wearing an active wireless microphone inside a bathroom. He has long been suspected in the disappearance of his first wife, who went missing from their country home in New York state in 1982. In 2003, he was acquitted of murder in the death of his elderly neighbour, whose dismembered body was found floating in a Texas bay. One to keep an eye on indeed!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Eva Longoria (40), Holly Hunter (57), William Hurt (65), Rob Lowe (51), Kurt Russell (64), Jerry Lewis (89), Judd Hirsch (80), Bruce Willis (60), Glenn Close (68), Bret Michaels (52), Will.i.am (40), Spike Lee (58), Rosie O’Donnell (53), Matthew Broderick (53), Gary Oldman (57), Fabio (56), Erik Estrada (66), Gary Sinise (60), Timothy Dalton (71), David Thewlis (52), Irene Cara (56) and Ursula Andress (79).

Next week peeps!


Dead Pool 15th March 2015

Dead Pool Background

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this weeks edition of the Dead Pool. Sir Terry Pratchett has sadly passed away. I will write a little piece about him later in the newsletter, but as with all things, life does go on and there are points to distribute.

Paul and Mark both score with Sam Simon, 91 points each plus an extra 100 for Mark as he had him as a Cert. Well done both of you!

Now for the Pratchett scores: Dave J, Julia, Stu, Neil and Sophie, you all receive 84 points. I want to say well done, but I’d rather punch you in the head for having him listed at all 😛

So a lot of movement in the league table, check out who the new points leader is below!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

and

In Other News

mick thomsonSlipknot guitarist Mick Thomson has been hospitalised after sustaining serious injuries in a knife fight with his brother Andrew last Wednesday. Mick’s injuries included a stab wound to the back of the head. The fight took place at Mick’s home in Iowa and both siblings appeared to be under the influence of alcohol when police officers arrived. The brothers were reportedly driven to hospital in separate ambulances. Both siblings were hurt in the fight, but none of their injuries were deemed life-threatening by police and the altercation will not affect the band’s planned live dates.

PutinVladimir Putin’s spokesman has been forced to deny that the 62-year-old president is in poor health after a string of meetings were canceled and the Kremlin published old photographs to claim work was proceeding as usual. Concerns over Putin’s well-being were first raised earlier this week when he postponed a trip to Kazakhstan for talks. A source in the Kazakh government told Reuters that the visit was canceled because Putin had fallen ill. Putin has not been seen in public since a meeting and press conference with the Italian prime minister, Matteo Renzi, on the 5th March.

popePope Francis has marked the second anniversary of his election by giving an interview in which he says he expects his time at the Vatican to be short, and that he would be ready to resign rather than ruling the Catholic church for life. “I have a feeling my pontificate will be brief,” he told Mexico’s Televisa channel. Francis, who is 78, and apparently in good health, said “It is a vague feeling I have that the Lord chose me for a short mission. I am always open to that possibility.” Well, a hot tip from the voice of God no less!

On This Day

Deaths

Sir Terry Pratchett by KoA

terry pratchettIt’s very difficult to write something about a man who has just died that you idolised, but I couldn’t let this week pass without saying a few words. Pterry was a lot of things to many people, foremost a writer and author, a defender of Orang-Utan’s, a voice for Alzheimers Disease and a pro-choice supporter for assisted dying. Personally I only ever saw him as a fantastic writer of books.

I stumbled across my first Pratchett by accident. I was a member of a book club that sent you novels by post, even if you didn’t want them. So this particular month I forgot to order a book and Moving Pictures landed on our doormat. What drew me to the book initially was the artwork of Josh Kirby, I’d never seen anything quite like it. So, as not to judge a book by its cover, I sat down to read it. I was instantly hooked and ordered all of the back catalogue. Since then I have bought every single book in hardback, even through those tough times when I was out of  work.

Signed PratchettI was lucky enough to meet Terry on a couple of occasions , both during book signings, but one sticks out more for me as I’d been waiting patiently in line for over two hours in a queue that took the length of Bangor’s High Street. By the time I got to Terry, he must have signed at least two thousand books, but he was very charming and made conversation with this particular star-struck kid. He asked my name to sign the book and questioned me about Welsh names in general. We had a brief chat about such things and I walked away in awe. I was expecting a quick signature from a tired author, not a kind man in a hat who was genuinely interested in the people coming to see him. But from what other people have said since his untimely death, this was who he was. A year later, Soul Music was published. I rather hope that our little conversation helped him write that book, just a tiny bit, who knows…

deathHis appeal was, and still is, very far reaching. I bring up Twitter as an example. How many of you clicked on my profile and saw that I liked Discworld? I bet you thought, he’s like me, he ‘gets’ it and pressed the follow button. We became friends off the back of a mutual love of the written word, words written by Terry Pratchett.  And let’s face it, who doesn’t like the Discworld novels?? If we go by the Top 200 Books Of All Time as defined by the BBC’s The Big Read, only two authors have five books in the top 100, Terry Pratchett and Charles Dickens. The author with most books in the top 200 was Pratchett with fifteen!

So, we still have one more book of Terry’s to read, which is earmarked to be published later this year, another instalment in the Tiffany Aching series called The Shepherd’s Crown. I’m for one looking forward to his swan song.

To finish, I’ll share with you the final words on Terry’s Twitter feed.

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Last Week’s Birthdays

Prince Edward, The Earl of Wessex (51), Juliette Binoche (51), Freddie Prinze Jr. (39), Sharon Stone (57), Chuck Norris (75), Johnny Knoxville (44), John Hamm (44), Robin Thicke (28), Emili Sande (28), Mitt Romney (68), Rupert Murdoch (84), Ron Jeremy (62), Aaron Eckhart (47), William H. Macy (65), Didier Drogba (37), Liza Minnelli (69), Pete Doherty (36), Billy Crystal (67) and Michael Caine (82).

Next week peeps!


Dead Pool 8th March 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon Poolers. A relatively quiet week has just passed and nil points to all of us. I’ll not waffle, let’s get on with it!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News 

Ford Plane CrashUS actor Harrison Ford is expected to make a full recovery from injuries suffered when crashing his plane on to a golf course in Los Angeles. The 72-year-old star of the Indiana Jones and Star Wars films reported engine failure and crash-landed his vintage plane on a Venice golf course. He was breathing and alert when medics arrived and took him to hospital in a “fair to moderate” condition. His son Ben, a chef in Los Angeles, said later from the hospital: “Dad is OK. Battered but OK! The nature of Ford’s injuries have not been disclosed but website TMZ, which first reported the story, said he suffered “multiple gashes to his head”. Film producer Ryan Kavanaugh, who also witnessed the accident from his office, told The Hollywood Reporter: “He literally had five seconds, and 99% of pilots would have turned around to go back to the runway and would have crashed.” “Harrison did what the best pilots in the world would do,” he continued. “He made the correct turn that the plane was designed for with an engine out.” What more could you expect from the pilot of the Millennium Falcon??

Misao 117Misao Okawa, born in 1898, is said to be in remarkably  good health and says she is ‘very happy’ to be 117. Okawa, the world’s oldest person, celebrated her 117th birthday at a nursing home in Osaka, western Japan, last week, and despite her longevity she remarked how short her life seemed. The year Okawa was born, Queen Victoria was on the throne and the Spanish-American war was in its infancy. Her life spans three centuries, which have included six British monarchs, four Japanese emperors and 20 US presidents. She was five when the Wright brothers achieved the first powered flight. She married almost a century ago and has been a widow for more than 80 years. At a televised event on Wednesday, a day before her birthday, she disappointed any who hoped she would reveal the secret to a long life. “Well, I wonder about that too,” she said. Previously she has attributed her longevity to plenty of sleep and a varied diet. While she has spoken of her love of mackerel sushi, which she eats at least once a month, Okawa says she is not particularly fussy when it comes to food. When he asked how she felt about the past 117 years, she replied: “It seemed rather short.”  According to government figures, Japan is home to more than 58,000 people aged 100 or over, 87% of whom are women. Experts attribute Japan’s longevity statistics to a traditional low-fat diet, affordable healthcare and generous pensions.

Singer Shania Twain has announced her final tour. The star, whose 1997 album Come On Over remains the best-selling country album ever, will play 48 dates across the US and Canada, kicking off in June. The Canadian singer became a massive star in the mid-1990s, with hits such as Man! I Feel Like A Woman and That Don’t Impress Me Much. She’s sold more than 75 million albums worldwide and became the best-selling female artist in the history of country music, but largely disappeared from the limelight between 2004 and 2009, citing personal issues and creative inertia. Bit early to think of retirement we feel, at 50 she should be in her prime, maybe she knows something we don’t…

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Justin Bieber (21), Jessica Biel (33), Bryan Cranston (59), Jon Bon Jovi (53), Daniel Craig (47), Julie Bowen (45), Brooklyn Beckham (16), Bobbi Kristina Brown (22), Laura Prepon (35), Ron Howard (61), Roger Daltrey (71), Javier Bardem (46), Rachel Weisz (45), Harry Belafonte (88), Chris Martin (38), Eva Mendes (41), Tom Arnold (56), Rob Reiner (68), Catherine O’Hara (61), Bryce Dallas Howard (34), Miranda Richardson (57), Patsy Kensit (47), Fred Williamson (77), Penn Jillette (60) and Jensen Ackles (37).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 1st March 2015

Dead Pool Background

Good afternoon poolers. A sad day indeed when we have to report that one of the greatest icons of our screens has sadly died. Yes, Leonard Nimoy aka Mr Spock has left this mortal coil for the greatest journey known to mankind. If, like me, you were glued to all things science fiction when you were a child, this man’s portrayal of the logical alien in Star Trek is what cemented your lifelong love for all things sci-fi. However, this is the Dead Pool and one of you did list him. Ashley, you have scored! 67 points awarded!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Nick RobinsonThe BBC’s political editor, Nick Robinson, is undergoing treatment after a tumour was found in his lung and will shortly undergo surgery to remove it. Robinson, 51, hopes to be well enough to be back at work full-time to cover the general election campaign in the run-up to voting on 7th May. Carcinoid tumours, a type of neuroendocrine cancer, are rare and tend to be slow growing, sometimes not  causing any symptoms for several years. Around a quarter start in the lung and typically do not spread to other parts of the body and are not thought to be linked to smoking. In a statement, his agent said that Robinson, who is married with three children, would be “taking a short time off work” over the next few weeks.

FernandoFernando Alonso has assured his fans that he is okay in his first public comments since crashing heavily in Formula One testing for McLaren last weekend. Alonso spent three nights in hospital after the crash before being released on Wednesday. “As you can see, I am completely fine,” said the Spaniard in a video message posted on YouTube. “I would like to be at the test this week in Barcelona but the doctors’ recommendations are to wait a little bit, a couple of days,” added the double world champion. “I will rest this weekend and keep you updated next week with progress.”

madonna-fallAs you may have seen, Madonna fell off the stage during her performance at the 2015 Brit Awards. Madonna, 56, tumbled down a set of stairs and landed like a  hunk of raw pork on a slab, apparently after a dancer tried to remove a cape she was wearing at the start of her routine. But she recovered and returned to continue her song, Living For Love. The pure outpouring of hatred for the woman was instantly seen on social media, everyone tittering with mirth like school children.

zarko-udovicicA player with the Serbian top-flight club Novi Pazar has been threatened by the team’s own supporters at gunpoint after missing a penalty. Describing the incident  as “a new low in Serbian professional football“, the world players’ union Fifpro said that Novi Pazar’s Zarko Udovicic sent his penalty over the crossbar in the 85th minute of last Saturday’s game at FK Rad, who won 1-0. Two days later, several hooligans burst into the dressing-room at the club’s training ground, drew a gun and held it in Udovicic’s face, Fifpro said. The player has since left the club. Mirko Poledica, president of the Serbian professional footballers’ association Nezavisnost, said neither the Serbian Football Association nor the league had taken any action. He said: “Must we wait until some hooligan actually kills one of our players? What worries me is that there is no reaction from the football association. They remain quiet.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Chelsea Clinton (35), Peter Fonda (75), Floyd Mayweather Jr. (38), Drew Barrymore (40), Michael Bolton (62), Tea Leoni (49), Fats Domino (87), John Turturro (58), Kelly Macdonald (39), Emily Blunt (32), Mario Andretti (75), Billy Zane (49), Rick Flair (66), Sean Astin (41), Abe Vigoda (94), Kyle MacLachlan (56), Jeri Ryan (47), Thomas Jane (46), James Blunt (41), George Thorogood (65), Edward James Olmos (68), Adam Baldwin (53) and Donal Logue (49).

Next week peeps!


Dead Pool 22nd February 2015

Dead Pool Background

Good afternoon my morbid minions. Sadly no points again this week so we are still at the status quo we have been for weeks :/ The evil flying monkeys I sent out last week failed miserably but they did seed some cancer and madness along the way.

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

tony-hartThe name Tony Hart has not reverberated around the social media echo chamber for years. Certainly not since the popular children’s television presenter died in 2009. His name, however, became one of the most heavily discussed topics on Sunday and Monday as a wave of people spread the news of his demise in the mistaken belief that it was news, including your intrepid Dead Pool Master, who forgot he’d died. That was followed by a second wave rightly mocking the first one. So it turns out I’m the dickhead. Tony Hart died in 2009. Fuck the internet. Ha!

bruce dickinsonIron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson has  revealed he is battling cancer. A statement on the band’s official website said the 56-year-old rocker has undergone treatment for a cancerous tumour on his tongue. The cancer was diagnosed during a routine check-up just before Christmas and Dickinson has just completed a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiology. The statement said: “As the tumour was caught in the early stages, the prognosis thankfully is extremely good. Bruce’s medical team fully expect him to make a complete recovery with the all-clear envisaged by late May. It will then take a further few months for Bruce to get back to full fitness.

oliver sacksThe scientist and writer Oliver Sacks has said his “luck has run out” after revealing that he has terminal cancer. Sacks, whose book Awakenings inspired the Oscar-nominated film of the same name, disclosed his illness in an article in the New York Times. The London-born academic, made a CBE in the 2008 birthday honours, said: “A month ago, I felt that I was in good health, even robust health. At 81, I still swim a mile a day. But my luck has run out – a few weeks ago I learned that I have multiple metastases in the liver.” He wrote: “It is up to me now to choose how to live out the months that remain to me. I have to live in the richest, deepest, most productive way I can.”

Lee Hsien LoongSingapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will undergo surgery, his office has revealed. The 63-year-old was diagnosed with prostate cancer last month, he will take medical leave for a whole week! He was diagnosed with lymphoma in the 1990’s but recovered. The urologist who will operate on Mr Lee said that his prostate cancer had “no relationship” to the lymphoma. Should be a straight forward procedure it seems, but you never know…

Vanilla Ice and AfromanTwo fading/faded rappers have been in the news. Afroman was arrested for assault after he was caught on camera punching a female fan on stage at a concert and Vanilla Ice was arrested on suspicion of burglary and theft. Times must be very hard for them but one thing is for sure, a stint in the penal system will not be a smooth thing for either of them. I can see both of them demanding some ice, ice baby because something got too high for comfort…

Robert Mugabe eating cakeRobert Mugabe has celebrated his 91st birthday. By the time you have read this his lavish $1 million party will be over and the menu of two elephants, two buffaloes, two sable antelopes, five impalas and a lion will have been eaten. There have been reports that poor villagers throughout the country have been forced to donate money and goods towards the lavish ball. I’m sure they would rather donate a timely death for the evil bastard.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Paris Hilton (34), John Travolta (61), Cybill Shepherd (65), Matt Dillon (51), Dr. Dre (50), Molly Ringwald (47), Kelsey Grammer (60), Cindy Crawford (49), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (34), Rihanna (27), John McEnroe (56), Rene Russo (61), Ice T (57), Jane Seymour (64), Smokey Robinson (75), Jennifer Love Hewitt (36), Ed Sheeran (24), Benicio del Toro (47), Michael Jordan (52), Jeff Daniels (60), Yoko Ono (82), Ivana Trump (66), Patricia Hearst (61), William Baldwin (52), Matt Groening (61), LeVar Burton (58), Hal Holbrook (90), Lou Diamond Phillips (53), Prince Andrew, Duke of York (55), Sidney Poitier (88), Brenda Blethyn (69), Tyne Daly (69) and Alan Rickman (69).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 15th February 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon Poolers, yet another quiet week so no points to award. I think it may be time to send out the flying monkeys once again, so watch this space as a dearly beloved notable will undoubtedly be stricken down, most likely someone that none of us has listed. Without further ado…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Carol-McGiffinTelevision presenter Carol McGiffin has revealed that she was diagnosed with cancer last year. The former member of ITV’s Loose Women said that she discovered a lump in her breast while on holiday in Malaysia last February. The 54-year-old says she has now “got through it” after a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy sessions. Although she seems to have won her battle, these things do have a tendency to flare up again. One to watch out for.

Michael GambonSir Michael Gambon has decided to stop working in the theatre, bringing down the curtain on an illustrious stage career, after struggling to remember his lines. The 74-year-old said in an interview that it was time to admit defeat. “It’s a horrible thing to admit but I can’t do it. It breaks my heart. It’s when the script’s in front of me and it takes forever to learn. It’s frightening,” he said. He put his forgetfulness down to age and was worried it was a sign of encroaching Alzheimer’s, although doctors gave him the all-clear and his long-term memory remained sharp.

Pierce BrosnanJames Bond actor Pierce Brosnan’s home in Malibu has been damaged in a fire, causing an estimated $1 million in damage. Around 50 Los Angeles County firefighters responded to the scene but no injuries were reported. A shocked-looking Brosnan was pictured outside the house, probably wondering if SPECTRE had something to do with it. A close call for Bond, we’re wondering if he spilt his vodka martini onto an open fireplace. Arson investigators from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department are looking into the cause.

Black TongueUntil recently, Black Tongue were just a little-known heavy metal band from Hull, purveyors of an obscure brand of rock known as “doom core”. Now, though, the five-strong ensemble have ensured themselves a place among the pantheons of rock legend, after an incident on a tour coach that could have come straight from the spoof rock movie This is Spinal Tap. In a mishap that police believe was alcohol-related, a member of the band apparently stepped out the tour bus door as it was speeding along a motorway in Poland, having mistaken it for the door to the bus’s toilet. Alex Teyen, 23, the band’s singer, was taken to hospital after suffering head and face injuries, but is understood not to have been badly hurt. He would most likely have never made the Wiki Death List, but he will next time!

Branson and wifeSerial killer Charles Manson’s supposed budding romance with a woman 53 years his junior has been allegedly exposed as a money-making scheme. Apparently, 27-year old Afton Elaine Burton, now known as Star, was hoping that she would gain possession of Manson’s corpse through marriage so she and a couple of friends could put it on display in a glass case in L.A. They thought a Lenin’s Tomb-esque attraction would draw a huge number of visitors and make them a lot of money. But Manson, 80, apparently got wind of the plan and now no longer wants to marry Burton. The tourist attraction was also something of a non-starter because Manson believes he is immortal.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Elizabeth Banks (41), Nick Nolte (74), Jennifer Aniston (46), Burt Reynolds (79), Mia Farrow (70), Josh Brolin (47), Joe Pesci (72), Christina Ricci (35), Glenn Beck (51), Sarah Palin (51), Chloe Grace Moretz (18), Arsenio Hall (59), Laura Dern (48), Peter Gabriel (65), Sheryl Crow (53), Natalie Dormer (33), Robbie Williams (41), Rose Leslie (28), John Grisham (60), Seth Green (41), Damian Lewis (44), Mena Suvari (36), Jerry Springer (71), Prince Jackson (18), Darren Aronofsky (46), Stockard Channing (71), Peter Tork (73), Kim Novak (82), Meg Tilly (54) and Robert Wagner (85).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 8th February 2015

Dead Pool Background

Afternoon all, yet another dearth of deaths last week so no points to award. Just to kick us whilst we’re down, Zsa Zsa Gabor was celebrating her 98th birthday as well!  To be fair, I’ve not heard of any of last week’s demises, so I took a punt on the few I have listed just to fill up some space. Lets hope that this week gives us a few bucket kickers!

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

bobbi kristina brownBobbi Kristina Brown, daughter of singer Bobby Brown and his late wife, Whitney Houston, is fighting for her life and is surrounded by immediate family, the Houston family said in a statement. Bobbi Kristina, 21, was rushed to a hospital in Roswell, Georgia, on Saturday morning after her husband and a friend found her in the tub and her husband performed CPR. We’re told Bobbi Kristina’s condition has remained the same since Monday morning and that her brain functions are minimal and there has been no improvement. Her father, Bobby Brown is adamant that he doesn’t want to take his daughter off life support because he believes in God-driven miracles. Looks like the future is grim.

dionne warwickDionne Warwick has also been in the wars. The 74 year old slipped in the shower and damaged her ankle which left her in hospital for two weeks! As she is the cousin of  Whitney Huston, it seems rather peculiar that the whole family seem unable to wash without dying or seriously hurting themselves. I’d suggest that they stick to bed baths from now on.

Bruce JennerPolice in Los Angeles have confirmed reality TV star Bruce Jenner has been involved in a car crash in which one woman died. Jenner himself wasn’t hurt, but seven others were taken to hospital. An LA police spokesman said there was no indication that Jenner, the stepfather of Kim Kardashian, was being chased by nearby paparazzi, although the whole incident seems to have been captured scene by scene by media photographers.

harper leeIn another kick to the gnashers for us, Harper Lee is apparently releasing another book. Lee, 88, famous as the writer of the classic To Kill a Mockingbird is renowned for writing only one book 55 years ago, so why all of the sudden has she managed to produce another? Smells a bit fishy to us at Dead Pool Towers, not that we are envious of her $9,249 a day earnings for writing one book at all… Let’s see if the style of writing is similar upon release, or will we find out someone is riding the cash cow?

Clarke CarlisleRetired footballer and ex-PFA chairman Clarke Carlisle says he was trying to take his own life when he was hit by a lorry in December. Carlisle told The Sun newspaper he had been left severely depressed by the end of his football career, financial problems and the loss of a TV punditry role. The 35-year-old left hospital six weeks after being struck in North Yorkshire, although he managed to fuck up the suicide, he still did a good job of hurting himself. Best keep an eye on him.

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Harry Styles (21), James Spader (55), Shakira (38), Axl Rose (53), Bobby Brown (46), Chris Rock (50), Garth Brooks (53), Morgan Fairchild (65), Rebel Wilson (30),  Alice Cooper (67), Cristiano Ronaldo (30), Lisa Marie Presley (47), Ashton Kutcher (37), Isla Fisher (39), Michael C. Hall (44), Michael Sheen (46), Natalie Imbruglia (40), Christopher Guest (67), Tom Wilkinson (67), Jennifer Jason Leigh (43), Zsa Zsa Gabor (98), Rip Torn (84), Brent Spiner (66) and Rick Astley (49).

Next Week peeps!


Dead Pool 1st February 2015

Dead Pool Background

Sadly no points to award this week, even though a few well known oldies have managed to kick the bucket. Funny thing, I didn’t see any of you rushing out to buy any Demis Roussos albums when he was reported dead, I thought this was one of the things you had to do when a singer dies. We all managed to miss Geraldine McEwan too, maybe a couple of us should have dropped Dame Maggie Smith for her. Oh well, hindsight is a wonderful thing…

Look Who You Could Have Had:

In Other News

Whitney & daughterThe daughter of late American singer Whitney Houston has been found unresponsive in a bathtub at a home in Georgia. Bobbi Kristina Brown, 21, was found by her husband and a friend. They immediately started resuscitating her until police and medics arrived. She was taken to a hospital in Roswell where she was said to be breathing. Her mother, Whitney Houston was found dead in very similar circumstances on February 2012, aged only 48.

tedTed Robbins has collapsed on stage at Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights on the opening night in Manchester. Reports from the theatre suggest he was in the middle of a solo part of the show and appeared to clutch his chest. The curtains were then drawn and an announcement was made to the crowd and everyone was asked to leave the 20,000-capacity venue. A Manchester Evening News reporter – who was at the show – eloquently described what happened: “Ted Robbins, who plays Den Perry in the hit show, was in the middle of a solo bit. He clutched his chest and stumbled a bit. They then closed the curtain immediately, with people rushing to the stage to the help, with medical equipment”. Robbins, 59, is carrying a bit of lard on him, so it’s no stretch of the imagination to think his heart gave out with the stress of the first night and a lump of adipose floating around. Lets hope he makes a recovery so we can list him next year.

Chris EvansRadio DJ Chris Evans revealed live on air that he’s in the middle of a prostate scare. Evans disclosed that he was currently having tests carried out after showing symptoms since Christmas. The father-of-three, 48, told millions of listeners about his condition on the The Breakfast Show on Radio 2 on Friday. After scaring himself to death self-diagnosing on the internet, he finally went to see a doctor and underwent the ‘finger of truth’ test and is now awaiting the outcome. Watch this space, maybe Terry Wogan will make it back onto Radio 2!!

Robbie ColtraneHarry Potter actor Robbie Coltrane has been admitted to hospital in Orlando, Florida, after falling ill with flu-like symptoms during a flight. Paramedics met him off the flight from London and rushed him to hospital where doctors said he would remain overnight and not once mentioned Ebola. Coltrane’s agent told the BBC the actor was “resting” and would “be fine”, but that more information on his condition was not yet available. Coltrane’s UK agent, Belinda Wright, told the BBC that US reports that an eyewitness had tweeted about the actor drinking heavily in a Heathrow Airport lounge before boarding his flight were “not correct” and “completely untrue”. After all, a Scot drinking heavily is unheard of and hangovers never need hospitalisation…

BlessedBrian Blessed has withdrawn from the production of King Lear in which he collapsed on stage shortly after speaking his first lines, yet managed  to return to finish the epic production last week. The 78-year-old actor has admitted that his heart condition ‘is more serious than he was aware’ and has therefore been compelled to withdraw from the production. Sounds like the loudmouth is at deaths door!

On This Day

Deaths

Last Week’s Birthdays

Alicia Keys (34), Christian Bale (41), Ellen DeGeneres (57), Alan Alda (79), Justin Timberlake (34), Oprah Winfrey (61), Elijah Wood (36), Tom Selleck (70), Heather Graham (45), Phil Collins (64), Gene Hackman (85), Minnie Driver (45), John Lydon (59), Vanessa Redgrave (78), Scott Glenn (74), James Cromwell (75), Carol Channing (94), Eddie Van Halen (60), Dick Cheney (74), Bridget Fonda (51), Mimi Rogers (59), Dexter Fletcher (49), Olivia Coleman (41), Marc Singer (67), Frabk Darabont (56) and Tobe Hooper (72).

Next Week peeps!